Unrequited
by xMissWhitneyBexx
Summary: Kenna reflects back on her failed marriage, especially when the papers arrive and she's staring into his eyes. She knows he wants him, but he's a part of him that she can't fully let go. It was all unrequited - she loved him but he only did this to please his father and brother, to assure them. Well, that's how men broke women. But not her. Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

**This is set in a modern AU. I have no idea where the direction of this story will go but it has a lot of angst that's for sure!**

**Plot line: Kenna and Bash are separated, the divorce papers are written but their little child prevents them from fully letting go.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Reign. If I did, probably won't allow Kennash to end nor Francis to die despite 'historically correct' facts. (Bash wasn't even historically correct so why did they screw with his love life like that?)**

* * *

"Mama," her son calls out and for a minute he pauses, wondering whether to call her again. He had been for the past seventeen minutes and she still hadn't look up from her cup of tea nor the heavy papers that used to be sealed in that giant envelope.

She blows her tea once, tuts thrice and glances up at him twice. She then purses her lips and nods, making sure she read everything before deciding what to do next.

"Mama," Adrien calls out. "Mama?"

Kenna hates the fact that her son sounds more French because he sounds almost exactly the same as his father did when he was his age. She had learnt that from his mother when they were living with the matriarch back in France.

Before he broke her heart, said he couldn't handle her anymore and she moved back to England with a heavy heart and a warm hand holding hers. At least she got a place across the road from her best friend but even Mary was linked to him. She was Francis's wife, making them related by proxy.

"One minute, Adi," she finally says with a soft sigh and tears springing the corners of her eyes.

She swore under her breath, she promised never to shed a tear from him since he left her. He told her that he'd move to England to be closer to Adrien but what these papers in front of her said otherwise.

_Full custody_.

Now, he wanted to claim that she was an unfit mother?

All because of one kiss she didn't even respond to?

And her boss forcing himself, about to do God knows what before Francis turned up searching for him for their business deal?

Apparently, that had been the last straw. She was a tease, a woman who knew she was married yet still flaunted her charming personality and attractive looks on men, married or otherwise.

But that wasn't her.

Yes, she was attractive and she never backed down from letting everyone know that, she was blessed. Yes, she was a tease but only to her husband because she was faithful.

There was once that she caught him getting close with a work relative, Rowan and she had contemplated leaving him for Antoine but she quickly realised that that was wrong. Until, she found out that he and Rowan had a one-night stand, the redhead gingerly apologising to the scorned wife about her brief affair with her husband.

She was hurt, she had cried for days but she never let him know that she knew about it. So, she sought comfort in Antoine, his distant cousin or whatever who worked with her back in France. It was only an emotional affair, never physical as he had his own beloved wife and issues with the pregnant woman.

Their child had been born stillborn and he was heartbroken so he called her up. She comforted him after he said that his wife had been going through some serious mental health issues and that was when he decided that he'd leave Jeanne.

Then, the kiss happened.

Kenna had been horrified, pushing him back and running off. She got into her car and drove straight home to tell her husband but he had received a text with a photo of the kiss. Sent by a private number and that was when she realised that she had been set up.

Their relationship was platonic afterwards, merely holding conversations about Adrien and other familial ties. Until she found out she was pregnant.

She was overjoyed. It had been four years since they had Adrien and it wasn't as if they hadn't been trying. She had kept the pregnancy tests in her bag, hoping to tell him at a perfect time.

But he avoided her like the plague.

He would come home when she was already asleep, leave before she woke up. One night, she set her alarm for 4 AM, but he was already gone so she gave up trying.

A month later, not feeling so excited nor great about her secret pregnancy, which she was about two months along and never told anyone, she had been asked to stay behind at work for an extra hour.

Kenna thought nothing of it, it was his turn to pick up their son anyway so she sent him a quick text just in case he was worried - which he never was to be honest because she always came home like the good, little wife she was.

She went to the staffroom, starting up the hot water and searching for her beloved English Breakfast tea which she could never part from. Born in Scotland, raised in England - she always told everyone. It made her laugh when her older half-brothers had a Scottish accent but hers and her younger siblings' was English through and through. People often were confused about their relations as siblings.

That was when her train of thoughts was cut off and she was pressed into the counter, the edge digging into her stomach as she gasped.

She felt his breath, it reeked of alcohol, on her neck and his crotch on her back. He told her he was happy to see her, that he had been waiting _all_ day to get her like this, alone.

His hands roamed her body and she stilled, fear paralysing her as tears began to run down her cheeks. Pinches and squeezes and pats sickened her as her body dug deeper, making her gasp again and him mistaking that for pleasure.

Then the vile warmth was gone and he was giving excuses to Francis, saying that he needed to get to the teabags when everyone knew he had his own coffee/tea maker in his office, let alone his floor which was five floors above.

Francis had driven her home, telling her he would explain everything to his brother, assuring her. But of course, as usual, she was guilty as charged despite Francis's pleas that it wasn't her fault - Renaude was an arsehole who preyed on women.

Unfortunately, Francis was only there for business which he immediately cut off after seeing Renaude pressed up against his sister-in-law and wife's best friend. He returned back to England to Mary and their children and his brother had another reason to avoid her.

He stayed at work or wherever he was, not bothering to come home unless it was his turn to pick Adrien up.

One lonely night with Diane and Adrien upstairs asleep, Kenna allowed silent tears to roll down her cheeks when the blood began to seep into the sofa and her cries of pain emitted from her lips.

He had come home, raging with insults after finding out she was pregnant from Delphine - an ex of his and colleague of hers who was snooping around her handbag for a tampon or sanitary towel.

One, how dare that whore? Two, who looks through another person's belongings without asking? And three, he had no right to even listen to that bitch after what she did to him.

"Not anymore!" She screamed at him.

"Was it his?!" He yelled back, the upstairs light turning on and Diane rushing down the stairs with her black, satin robe being tied around her waist.

"Bash-" His mother called out but he ignored her.

"Was. It. His?"

"She's bleeding!" Diane screamed at him, rushing to her side.

Kenna stilled, not even caring that the woman who supposedly hated her for _years_ was tending to her. Shouting that they needed to get to a hospital immediately.

"You wanted to trick me into thinking it was mine, is that it? Do you really not care at all, Kenna? Are you that sick, that selfish?" He continued on as his mother began dialling the emergency services.

Diane glared at her son. "I don't know who has poisoned your mind, Sebastian," she began darkly. "And I don't know if you are blind but Kenna is suffering from a miscarriage."

"Let that be a lesson, _dear wife_," he said, turning away from Diane to her. "That's where being unfaithful gets you. Take her, I'm staying with Adrien."

Kenna sighs heavily, shaking the memory from her mind as she finally smiles at her little blessing.

"My precious baby, what do you want my attention for?" She asks the child.

"You're sad," Adrien states, forgetting about what he wanted to tell her. He stands up from his seat and reaches up to hug her.

Letting him crawl onto her lap, she returns the hug just as tight and laughs when he asks her if that was better.

"Yes, my petit fleur," she says to him, not minding the French so much anymore. She ought to take him to Scotland, break in his accent there.

"I made a picture of you, Papa and me."

He slides the sheet of coloured paper from the table and turns to show it to her. He was a talented, little boy and he always made her proud but the smile leaves her face when she sees his little creations of her and Bash in a heart.

"That's beautiful, baby," she whispers, looking away. "Uncle Francis is going to come over for you Adi, is that okay?"

Adrien nods, not too bothered about the fact that his uncle was coming to get him. He loved his older cousins and his little one named Anne. John and James were lovely boys, always looking out for him.

Soon after, with Adrien at Mary and Francis's, Kenna makes her way to her first stop of the day.

It was a small café which always catered to her preferences with her being a now, long-term customer and she loved talking to the girl behind the counter. She was starting university in Autumn and told Kenna about her degree and what went on in her teenage life. She had brought her best friends over once and the girl's boss allowed her to hang out with the older adults, gaining insight in life and whatnot.

Kenna was more like a mentor, but she stayed way clear from any matters revolving romance. Her love life was down in the sewers that tainted the River Thames, or even the ones in France.

"What's your day looking like?" Bella, the mentee, asks her with a bright smile. "Hope it's not too stressful."

Kenna smiles a fake smile though. "No," she says, ignoring the pain she had in her chest. She has to contact her solicitors at some point today, sadly. "Just visiting Aylee and then I'll stop by Greer's and help her with the children."

"Ah," Bella replies. "Leave a flower for me too."

Aylee had tragically died from a severe allergic reaction in their presence. It haunted the women until this day but her parents forgave them, knowing that they never knew about Aylee's allergy to nuts because she never told them.

"I will, thanks," Kenna replies back, genuinely happy that the girl cared so much about her friends.

"Here's your caramel macchiato. Why did you change it up today?" Bella asks, confused.

Kenna swallows deeply. Bash loved caramel macchiatos. It was his one _guilty pleasure_ that didn't make him as manly as everyone thought. It had been their thing back when he got her one on the first day of their honeymoon.

"I don't know. Just felt like it. Might have my usual next time."

She goes to find a seat as Bella serves her next customer. Staring out the window, she smiles when she sees a young family laughing and having fun, wishing that hers was like that. It never was, but it had been like that before Adi turned one.

Her phone rings and his name flashes across the screen. Maybe, he wanted to ask if she got the papers but before she can even answer or hang up as her mind was battling with her, she looks up at the call of her name.

"Antoine?"


	2. Chapter 2

Kenna keeps her eyes trained on her long since silenced phone as Antoine sips his coffee.

"I heard that you moved back to England," he finally says.

"Antoine - I know you set me up, you ruined my marriage," she snaps, eyes now trained on him angrily. "Why are you even here?"

"Your marriage was over, Kenna," he snaps back. "You just didn't realise it until now. Mine is too. I moved back to Spain, Jeanne remained in France. I'm just here on business for a few days-"

Kenna scowls. "Do I care? What baffles me is _why_ you destroyed my marriage. What did I or my _son_ ever do to you?"

Antoine sighs sadly, pushing his coffee away and leaning forward. "I never meant to put you nor your son in the middle of this. I just wanted to hurt him just as much as he hurt me."

"Why would you want to hurt your own cousin?" She asks, frowning deeply and fearing what he has to say next.

"Distant cousin," he corrects her. "Why? Because he killed my brother, Kenna."

...

_Five Years Prior_

Rubbing her eight-month bump, Kenna relaxed by the sofa, looking through Bash's childhood photos.

There were some of him during his teenage years and early twenties and Kenna smiled at the thought of Diane documenting every single moment of her son's precious life.

Kenna decided that she would do the same for their son. The thought of having a little boy and becoming a football mum excited her. Maybe, they'd try for a daughter once their little boy was old enough to not be so dependent on them.

"What are you looking at?" Bash asked, sitting beside her on the floor and letting her lean into his side as he placed a hand on her bump. "Ah, my photo albums."

She nodded, pointing to one of him, Francis and three other guys. "Who are those guys?"

Bash stilled. He was silent for a few minutes before saying, "Our distant cousins. Came to visit from Spain. Hey, let's take a walk or something. Aren't you meant to induce your labour by now?"

"What are their names?" Kenna asked, disregarding the invitation to induce her labour.

He sighed. "Louis, he's the youngest, my age. Antoine, a year older and..." He trailed off at the eldest brother, clearing his throat. "He's dead now," Bash admitted. "Painful memories. We weren't close but still, he was family. Hey, that walk?"

Deciding to listen, Kenna closed the album and grinned when he helped her up, planting a kiss on her lips. He had been very touchy feely with her and she believed it had something to do with her raging hormones but still, it was more than he did on a normal day or even when they got married.

"If this baby comes out in the middle of the pavement, I'm blaming you," she said against his lips.

"Well, you'll be the star of the show," he joked, kissing her.

...

_Present Day_

"What do you mean?" She breathes out in shock.

"He and Marcus went out one day, Bash returned home and Marcus never did. They got into a car accident, your _beloved_ husband answered a call just before it happened and guess the person that was calling him?"

Kenna's eyes widen, her body shifting on her seat. "Who?"

"Mary." He sips his coffee. "She ran straight to him when he came back to the house, all bloodied up and apologetic. She asked why he suddenly hung up from their call and he explained that his car crashed into a tree, breaking Marcus's spine and it was too late. The emergency services arrived but he was DOA. Dead on arrival, Kenna."

Kenna feels as if she can't breathe, the caramel macchiato now making her want to throw up.

If it wasn't Rowan or Delphine, she always came after _Mary_. Yet, she still loved her best friend, they were practically sisters, Mary not having one biologically but Kenna did.

In fact, Kenna always treated Mary better than she treated her own younger sister. Throughout her marriage, she had accepted that she would never own Bash's heart fully, that was fine as long as he was in _her_ bed every night but even then, he wasn't.

She doesn't say anything, simply stares at Antoine's hurt and grief filled eyes. He knows that it may have been an accident but still, Bash breathed and Marcus was buried six feet under.

"Was it necessary?" She finally says, tears prickling her eyes. "To ruin my family, the one thing that brought me joy despite the hardship? I worked so _hard_ to keep my marriage afloat. He grew up in a broken family, I never wanted that for our son."

"I regret that you were hurt - that your son is now the product of a broken family," Antoine admits. "But I will _never_ forget nor forgive what he did. I wanted him to lose someone he loved."

She slams the table, relieved no one noticed. "The joke's on you," she says. "Bash never loved me."

"But he loves your son."

Kenna begrudgingly nods. He wanted full custody after all and he wants a divorce so, Antoine wasn't wrong.

"Where did I go wrong?" She asks him, more or less rhetorically. "I did everything right, I love him..."

"Men like him lie and break other people. He never deserved you, he used you for convenience and comfort, Kenna," Antoine says to her, taking her hand.

"I wanted more than he could give me, right? It's all my fault-"

"You're much clever than that, Kenna. This broken marriage has nothing to do with you. Yes, partly but he is mostly to blame. Your marriage was doomed the minute you signed the papers."

Kenna doesn't want to believe that so she leaves her beverage, takes her phone and stands up, wiping her tears as she leaves the café. She doesn't even care how he found her there.

She just walks, her heels the only sound she hears for the time being before the occasional car drives by or a bird calls out.

Her phone rings in her hand and she sees that it's him. The photo of him and their son smiling at her, breaking her heart. She hates him, resents him for calling Mary even though they weren't even a thing back then.

She was last to know but this time, she knew first but refused to think about it. It was unhealthy and she knew that. She even knew about his affairs but she never brought them up, she was just the perfect, understanding wife who worried when her husband arrived home late and had dinner ready for him.

Clearing her throat, she answers his call in a monotone voice. "Sebastian. It's been a while."

"_Did you get the papers?_"

She nods. "I did, this morning. I'm, uh, looking for a solicitor I guess."

"_I don't care what you're doing as long as they are signed, Kenna." _He sighs almost breathlessly._ "I've been looking at private primary schools in France that Adrien could go to in Autumn so he can start Year 1, my father will pay, of course, so that's not a worry..._"

She tunes out what he's saying, rolling her eyes as she begins to mimic his words. _She_ was the one meant to be angry and upset. _She_ was the one who was meant to file the papers. _She_ was the one who was meant to seek good schooling for her five-year-old son.

She finally says something that shuts him right up. "Did you ever love me, Bash?"

"_Wh-What?_" He breathes out.

She suddenly pauses, realising what she had said. She knew he didn't love her, she also knows that it was part of a deal between him, Francis and their father, Henry.

Mary's family had a lot of money and they often invested in different trades, for example; the Valois family business. As the frontrunner to take over the said business, Francis had to marry into an equally wealthy family to ensure that the company stayed afloat.

It was a perfect choice, Mary, as they knew each other from their childhood years. The Stuarts made good business deals and could help the company flourish.

But then Bash came into the picture. It was a moment of confusion on Mary's part, by accident taking both brothers on in relationships. She ultimately chose Francis, she loved him first and more than she could ever love Bash. The evidence was clear with their three children.

As an agreement to stay away, Francis namedropped Kenna. Mary had introduced her childhood Scottish friends to the Frenchman during their teenage years and Francis had been surprised to learn that Kenna, in particular, may have been wealthier than Mary.

He hadn't even given any thought to the other brunette until he and Mary got married and his father requested that Bash make a similar marriage tie. Henry had been happy, regretting that Kenna nor one of the wealthier friends of Mary Stuart did not marry Francis but he would rectify that and have Bash married off to one of them.

Henry had met and observed Kenna, how she behaved, what she studied, what made her tick or smile and he deduced that she was perfect. Bash begrudgingly agreed, sharing a toast with Francis and Henry before finally courting Kenna.

Kenna quickly caught on, she wasn't stupid. Especially with events that followed after she began dating Bash.

"Nevermind," she says. "I will see to the papers and we can talk more about Adrien's future soon."

"_How about today? I'm on my way to Francis's,_" he says, cursing under his breath straight after. "_Nearly got into an accident and why is there so much traffic?_" He more or less talks to himself at this point.

She notes down how he doesn't mention Mary but she doesn't even care at this point because she is surprised he's in the same country as her, given he couldn't stand to be in the same room months ago.

"I have errands to do. Visit Aylee's grave," she begins because the girls decided that going at different times would fit into their hectic schedules. "And help Greer out with the kids."

"_We have to talk sometime, Kenna,_" he tells her.

"Well, you never gave me the chance to talk before you walked away and kicked me and our son out," she replies angrily. "Why is everything on your terms? All according to _you_? You never gave me the chance of day so what do you want from me? For me to bend over and submit like I always did? Give over, Sebastian!"

"_Kenna-_"

"I don't know what I ever did to you, to deserve this but I'm human, too. I have feelings, I'm not a robot." She sighs, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't have the time for this. Goodbye, Sebastian."

She hangs up, doesn't even listen to what he has to say to her. There is no point, she was guilty _as usual_ and that was that.

She felt _good_. Not great but _good_. It was a start at least.

She held power over him for the first time since _forever_. It may have just been hanging up the call but she didn't have to keel over to accommodate him and talk. She had things to do, people to see.

Her phone rings again and she answers it albeit annoyed. She really doesn't want to even hear Mary right now, not after what she learnt from Antoine not that she could fully trust his words anyway.

"Mary?" She calls out upon answering.

"_Where are you?_" Mary asks her nervously.

"Why?" Kenna snaps.

Mary takes in a deep intake of breath, but it comes off as strained. "_Are you mad at me?_"

"Should I be?" Kenna asks her, tauntingly. "Nevermind, just having a bad day. Bash sent me the divorce papers."

Mary's silence is all Kenna needs to realise that her best friend already knew. Probably because of Francis. She prayed that it was Francis who told her.

"_About that. Bash is here, in England. He's just arrived at our place wanting to talk to you since he saw Adrien here._"

Kenna's heart skips in uncertainty and anxiety plagues her body.

...

_Four Months Ago_

"I can't do this, anymore. I can't handle _you_ anymore, Kenna. You're selfish, vain, jealous and it sickens me. I do everything for you but you treat me like something you scrape from the bottom of your shoe-"

"Bash-"

"Antoine, Renaude... You never give me a chance, especially after I relocated to Paris for you! You know how much I _hate_ this place yet, I moved for _you_. I got you everything you wanted and more-"

"Bash-" She began to say, trying to tell him he misunderstood _everything _but he wouldn't even give her the time of day to speak for herself.

"It's over. I can't stand you. I can't stand to even look at you. The baby thing was sick, Kenna."

Kenna began sobbing, pulling at him so he couldn't leave. She didn't even care as she sank to the ground, squeezing his arms so he couldn't move as he tried to.

"Don't do this. I didn't mean to lose the baby. I can change! We can make this work. We can have more kids, I'll quit my job - anything, just _don't_ make our son like you... We can do this, together." She sobbed.

She wanted to use his affair against him and Mary, for good measure, but she wanted him, she didn't want to give him more ammo to leave her. She looked up at him through blurry eyes, begging him, literally on her knees.

"The baby-"

"Let me go, Kenna," he said calmly, glancing away.

"Renaude wanted to hurt me - Francis explained everything-"

"Let. Me. Go." And this time, it was harsher and he pushed her off him, making her fall back on the ground.

She shook as he left, turning around to see her son's wide eyes staring at her. Wiping her tears, she got up and cradled him to her chest, carrying him to the sofa.

"What's wrong?" She asked him. "Why aren't you napping?"

"You and Papa, yelling." Adrien began to cry, leaning deeper into her chest. So, he knew what that meant.

Kenna felt heartbroken, guilty and horrible. Her poor baby shouldn't have to go through this but this was going to be the new normal.

"Papa is upset that you and I are leaving him for a little adventure. We're going to see your cousins!" She said to him, kissing his head. "John, James and Anne!"

"Can I bring my toys?" He asked, his innocence making her smile.

Kenna doesn't have the heart to tell him that they would have to bring all of their things because they were never coming back. Her eyes looked up and connected with Diane's heartbroken ones.

"We are going to bring every single one of them with us," she said, not breaking eye contact with her mother-in-law, soon to be former.

...

_Present Day_

Kenna arrives at Mary and Francis's just in time to see the front door flung open and Francis yelling at his older brother to be reasonable. She's so confused as to why his behaviour is so hostile. She feels frightened but she wasn't going to let anyone know that.

Her eyes connect with her husband's for the first time in a long while and her breath seems to be taken from her body.

"Let him go, you're scaring him," she says softly, cooing at a fear-stricken Adrien who held his father's hand, pulling Bash back towards the house. "He's not a part of this. Your problem is with me, not our baby boy."

Bash agrees and lets Mary take an upset Adrien back inside as Francis waits just in case things turned hostile. He was obviously upset, at something she said, she didn't know.

"Shall we take this to mine? Unless you want the whole world to know our business?" She asks him.

He begins to follow her, locking his car as his brother starts to walk towards them too. The former couple pause.

"Do you want me there? As a mediator?" Francis asks, eyeing Bash in particular.

A part of Kenna wants to say no because Bash was never violent. Loud, short-tempered yes, but he never raised a hand on her. He didn't hit females.

But she says yes because she's scared that they would say things they wouldn't be able to take back. With Francis there, at least he may soften some blows and say what the other person really meant.

The three of them end up with cups of tea at her table, the same table she was at with Adrien hours earlier.

"As I said earlier, I promised Greer I'd help her and I've got to visit Aylee's grave, it's her birthday-"

"I don't want your life story," Bash says but he knows how much Aylee meant to everyone. She was a lovely person, taken too soon. He feels guilty, he does care, but the time for caring was gone.

"Of course, not. You never cared anyway," she replies with a roll of her eyes. "We have a lot of issues but _never_ bring Adi into them. You started this; with the separation, divorce and now the custody claim. I just wanted peace, joint-custody and a chance to move on. Why did you even start a relationship with me if this was where we were going to end up? Where did we go wrong, what did _I_ do wrong?"

Bash remains silent but Francis prompts him to talk with a gentle kick to his leg which his brother replies with a glare. He wasn't a child. But he sure as hell needs to be treated as one.

"We were a mistake," he finally says defeated.

She nods. "I know. I should never have accepted your proposal - we weren't _real_ but your father tried to make us real. I was going to leave you, you weren't treating me like I wanted to be treated because you weren't mine to have. But then, you proposed and I thought that we had a chance, that we could make it work. I thought you were over Mary."

Francis tenses up and she thinks that he regrets accepting their offer. Well, it was her offer really and he offered first technically. They all knew about Mary and Bash, it was no secret.

In the early days of Francis and Mary's relationship, Mary and Bash had a fling. It had been very violent, hurtful and upsetting for all parties involved and Mary chose Francis.

"But I don't regret it," Kenna continues. "Because I have Adrien. He's so sweet and lovely and I carried him in me for nine months. He makes me happy and proud and I would never wish for things to be different because I have him at least."

"I never meant to cheat on you, I swear-"

"I don't need to know all of that. I always knew but I kept quiet because I love you and I wanted us to work. I was stupid. You misinterpreted things, many things but I will admit my part," she says. "I did start an emotional affair since I wasn't getting the attention I needed from you. I did contemplate leaving you after you slept with Rowan," she begins, watching his eyes widen in alarm. "But she promised that it was only once. I forgave you even though you never asked to be forgiven. I know an affair of any kind is horrible but I never held feelings for Antoine - he just understood me. As soon as he kissed me, I didn't respond. I ran away, straight to _you_."

Calmly, she sips her tea and watches him contemplate what she had just told him. She wonders how many teas of caffeinated drinks she's had today and whether Adrien was fine or not.

"I will be honest with you, Bash because I always am and you know I'm a terrible liar. You may lie, cheat and pretend to me but I know the truth regardless. I _know_ you, but you never took the chance to know _me_." She smiles sadly, it's bittersweet but she holds her gaze into his green eyes. "Here's the truth, I don't want this - the divorce. I want us to make an effort at least because you never gave us that. I want our son to grow up happy with both his parents in the picture. I don't want to be your mother, bound to a man for life because of their past mistakes because Adi is not a mistake. Somewhere along the way of our relationship, you tolerated me at least and he's a product of that. All sweet and innocent."

She stands up and heads to the kitchen counter, opening a drawer and retrieving the envelope that surprised her that morning. She chucks it onto the table and gestures to it.

"That means everything that went wrong since day one. I have memories where it wasn't like that - that we were happy or I thought you were at least. I'm not perfect but I try. I may not care for anything that isn't a pretty dress or a jewel but I do care and love my son. Even you." She sighs softly. "You know, this is the only time you've ever let me say my piece without shutting me down or storming off. It's surprisingly unnerving and I really half expect you to shout me down or..." She trails off, her eyes landing on Francis briefly and she realises that he doesn't really know most of the negative moments of their broken marriage. She never told anyone, it was their business alone. She would admit, being pushed to the ground did hurt her back but she never said anything, even when Diane said she saw with her own two eyes.

Francis is intrigued, his eyes landing on Bash to speak once again but when he doesn't, the blonde says, "Other than Mary, what stopped you from loving Kenna? I know we had an agreement with Dad but still. Kenna is or was, the perfect match for you."

"Nothing," Bash says honestly. "I only got with you to stop everyone from thinking I was hung up on Mary. But then, there was something about you - I needed to know you inside out. You were a Pandora's box that I was intrigued to open. Then, it became impossible to leave you because of your feelings."

"So, I _forced_ you to marry me - like put a gun to your head and forced you onto a bended knee to propose?" She snaps and he recoils. "I forced you to stay with me? I forced you to get me pregnant, and have your child?"

He lets her have that. She has every right to be mad, he used her and ended up messing her life up even more. He got her pregnant, he introduced her to his family, he used her own family to help his father.

"I cried and cried and cried," she begins, rolling her eyes. "Because of you. I know I asked for more than you could give at times but reflecting on that, our marriage should never have ended because of petty disputes and me just wanting new heels to wear to work because the other ones killed my feet. I know your patience level and you never had patience with me."

She was satisfied with her life, content with what they had and sometimes she wanted the occasional designer dress or handbag because Greer's rich husband got her stuff.

It wasn't as if Bash didn't have money, he just hated spending it. He had millions somewhere, she knew that much because Henry Valois _always_ provided for his children, the man was as close to a billionaire as one could be.

When they moved to Paris, Diane had insisted on them living with her. She was all alone in her nice, little, palatial home and the idea of grandchildren running around made her happy.

It wasn't Kenna's fault that he and his mother had a somewhat strained relationship. Hell, she and Diane weren't the best of friends either but they were civil because of him and after Diane had followed her to the hospital during her miscarriage, she had a new sense of respect for the older woman.

Now, she sent pictures and texts of what Adrien did to Diane, the woman excited to still be a part of the little boy's life.

To be honest, Kenna was brought into a wealthy family herself. Her parents hosted the grandest of balls and events back in Scotland but after their children became eighteen, they backed off and allowed them to fend for themselves. Eighteen years of indulgence was what they were willing to give them as well as pay for their education until they worked.

Kenna remembers her first job the summer before she started university, she was a barista and then, she learnt the true value of money and appreciated her parents more.

Marrying Bash had allowed her an insight into the land of wealth and luxury once more, without the need for her parents' funding. But Bash was more stingy with money than her parents were but she hadn't minded.

At least she had him and not Mary or Delphine. At least, she mothered his child and not them.

"I got comfortable," he tells them - Francis, and more importantly, Kenna. "Bad decisions have always been my thing, Kenna. Falling in love with the wrong girl, using another to get over the first, sleeping with other women to make myself feel better but none of that is worth right now."

"No," she replies. "Not worth hurting our son's future." She gives him a bitter smile. "You won't break me, Bash and one day - I'll be the best thing you ever had. As I said, we can make this work but if not, I will not give up Adrien. In my defence, you didn't even want him in the first place."

...

_Five Years Ago_

Kenna blinks in disbelief, a smile gracing her lips. Her doctor confirms it all and she is surprised to learn that she's five months along but she was barely showing. She hadn't even shown signs of pregnancy - no vomiting, cravings or anything.

There's a bump, she could feel it but her doctor had told her that she needed to have the baby rotated as some pesky, little babies liked to settle in their mothers' spines. She looked bloated, not at all pregnant. If someone had said she was pregnant, they would have guessed that she was about two months or three months along, not _five_.

After her check-up and promises to visit her midwife and collect her many vitamins, she went home and found him in the kitchen.

She beamed, almost launching herself into his arms when he looked up but she reminded herself that she had to be careful, in four months - June - they'd be parents.

"What's got you so happy?" He asked, a smile growing on his face too. "It's annoyingly contagious."

She rolled her eyes but remained grinning. "What if I told you that in four months, we will have a baby?"

Confusion settled into his eyes and he glanced at her stomach, frowning at its slight flatness. He had noticed her gain some weight and she was heavier when he carried her to their bedroom at times but in four months they'd be parents?

"I'm twenty or so weeks," she explained. "Our baby's hiding by my spine so we can't really tell with a huge bump but he's there. Come and feel!"

He doesn't move, doesn't even take his eyes off her bump. Her smile faltered a little, but she made an effort and walked to him.

She took his hand and placed it securely on her bump. "A little you, Bash. It's a boy, I can feel it."

He recoiled, taking his hand back as if he was burnt. She winced at the gesture but reached over him to grab his water and drink it.

"I can tell you what, I'm thirstier than ever," she said lightly, disappointed overall.

"It's too soon, Kenna." He sighed, backing away. "I don't want a kid, I'm not _ready_ for a kid."

Anger coursed her body and she said, "Well, I'm sorry you knocked your _wife_ up because you were too lazy to get some contraception!"

"I'm guessing it's too late to have a..." He trailed off, guilt settling in his eyes. That was against their religion, well hers. He had converted to Catholicism as a youngster, his mother having been afraid of their pagan ties.

He wasn't overly religious like his mother nor Kenna were but he still committed to some aspects like Mass and Easter.

"With you or without you, I will bring this baby up," Kenna said, placing the cup on the counter and backing away. "Because I love him and love is all a child can have at this moment of their life. Even you know that."

...

_Present Day_

"I wasn't ready," he admits. "Not like you were."

"I wasn't ready either!" She cries out. "I was just as scared as you were but I accepted it because it was too late to do anything. Now, you ask for full custody. Wish I had recorded what you said back then, now," she adds bitterly.

He looks up at her, green eyes meeting brown eyes. "You're hot and cold now, Kenna," he tells her, almost disapprovingly and mockingly. "You want me, you don't. Even your mind is conflicted. Are you sure you know what you want? If you're this indecisive, I fear for Adrien."

She gapes as if he has literally slapped her but his words did.

"Who hurt you, Bash? You really ought to see someone about that," she reflects back at him, inwardly smiling to herself when he recoils again. "I didn't hurt you, there must be something else to this."

Their teas have long since cooled, except Francis's who had finished his while it was still piping hot or somewhat at least.

"More tea?" Francis interjects before the tensions could rise even more.

He gives Bash a warning look, standing up and heading to the kettle. He hopes his older brother has the sense to stop this hostility that he isn't even sure where it's coming from.

"What did Rowan have that I didn't?" She asks him.

"Sensibility. Loyalty. Smarts," he says. "Do you want me to go on?"

She laughs, a soft melodic sound coming from her lips. "Charming. Let's see, sensibility. Rowan doesn't have a bone of moral sense in her entire body - she slept with a married man who had a child. She then proceeds to willingly tell the wife who could potentially use that against him in a court of law should she file for a divorce. Loyalty - well, I've always been loyal to you so that one is a joke, I hope. Smarts... I attended one of the most prestigious universities in the world and decided to choose a degree that would stimulate myself. I'm smarter than Rowan, that's for sure considering she couldn't even pass her GCSEs."

Francis lets out a shocked gasp, sitting down with freshly made teas and giving them to their respective owners. "I never knew that Rowan didn't pass those."

"Her family don't do university-"

"Or higher education at all," Kenna interjects Bash, nonchalantly, making Francis look down with a small smile on his lips. "I have nothing against her nor her community but in terms of _smarts_, there's a wide range. Let's give her the fact that she may be _street_ smarts like you. Just to make you feel better."

She keeps delivering blows but she can do this all day, she's Scottish after all. They liked to play games of back and forth but then again, he was French and if you had a Scottish person butting heads with a French person, things were likely to get ugly.

"I'm tired of this conversation. I've hit the ball in your court, now," she says. "Until then, if you dare try and take my son from me, I will waste no time in signing these papers and fighting for him. Finish your tea and leave. I have things to do."

She stands up with her tea and takes it to the living room, sitting down with a heavy sigh of relief. She's shaking violently and her tears beg to fall but she holds it together.

_Until he leaves, at least_, she promises herself.

When he finally does and Adrien is safely asleep in her arms as she watches the nightly soap opera on TV that night, she lets her tears fall.

She swore she wouldn't shed a tear for him but her body just didn't allow her not to. Unfortunate.

She had gone to visit Aylee's grave after he left, finding the rest of the girls there surprisingly before following Greer home, greeting a fretting Aloysius Castleroy and helping his wife tend to their seven children. Five of them weren't Greer's but the last two were and she still loved the ones that were not hers just as much.

Now with her little miracle in her arms, she feels numb and broken. Her mind daringly drifts towards the fact that she may have started this.

Before he proposed, she was visited by his father, Henry. He was charming and kind but Kenna did feel a sense of unease around him. His undertones scared her even within sweet words and as soon as she was married, Henry wasted no time in continuing their little game of cat and mouse.

He also didn't waste time in getting the Beatons to buy shares to his business. That further expanded his hold with ties to another country.

The doorbell rings and she gently lifts Adrien off her chest and onto the sofa. Getting up, she covers him with his blanket and slips her house slippers on, heading to the door.

Opening it, she swallows deeply and lets the person inside. A part of her wonders if he knows about this. He never found out, did he?

"Hello, Henry."


	3. Chapter 3

**Replies to reviews:**

**BlerBlerBler [chapter 1]: Thank you so much! I love reading Reign universe stories but like writing modern twists. I do that for other fandoms too, haha. I am thinking about a Frary one after this one is finished and yes, this one is kind of dark in terms of blending the show and my ideas together. It's kind of a 'what if' situation in a modern world.**

**elder441 [chapter 1]: Thanks, I had to rewrite it a few times but I'm glad you think the final version was perfect! I love Frary just as much as Kennash and I couldn't do that to them because, in the show, they find their way back to each other eventually before he died. I want them to have a happy ending although their marriage has its own difficulties too.**

**elder441 [chapter 2]: Thanks so much, enjoy the next!**

* * *

She invites him into the kitchen, slightly annoyed that she's missing the drama on the TV. It wasn't as if she had her attention on it anyway.

"Tea? Wine? Beer?" She offers, heading to the fridge to get the filtered water for herself.

"This was a quick visit, Kenna," Henry replies, suddenly appearing behind her, his breath tickling her neck.

She stops what she's doing and turns to face him. "Bash sent me the divorce papers. Aren't you disappointed?"

"Such a shame," he says. "My son was never good at keeping the best things to happen to him. Some call it _commitment issues_ and others call it _abandonment issues_."

"Which category did I fall under?" She snipes. "Honestly, Henry, why is he doing this?"

Henry leaves her side and makes himself comfortable on the dining chair, leaning back. "Kenna, he knows about us."

She gasps, but then she reminds herself that Bash has no reason to use this against her.

"He knows we didn't meet the day he introduced us to each other," Henry continues. "He knows about our affair."

"What affair?" She asks warily. "It was your affair, I was single - sixteen. I was young, dumb and stupid and I never knew that he was your son because you never told me. All I knew was that you were married with kids. Little did I know, you were with my mother-in-law too. I was your dirty little secret as much as she was yours too."

Henry smirks at her little act of confidence. Yes, she _was_ young, dumb and stupid but awfully wealthy for a sixteen-year-old tease. She knew their relationship was unfavourable but he should have known better, saying that she looked older than she was.

"So," she continues. "That's why he looks at me in disgust because he found out that not only were you cheating on Catherine and his mother, you were cheating on them with _me_, his future wife. Did you plan this? Choose _me_ other than Greer or Lola or even Aylee? Just so you could have an excuse to get me into bed again?"

He stills for a moment before nodding. "I never expected to see you again after that year we had together," he admits. "But hearing from Francis and seeing photos of what a beautiful, young woman you'd become... There were unresolved feelings, Kenna. Those fireworks didn't really mean nothing. I'm glad you saved your virginity for him though. That was a really sweet touch."

She wants to scream at him, to demand that he leave, but a part of her needs to hear this. She's already had some home truths thrown at her, what was a few more?

She feels disgusting. She wants to claw the memories of Henry on her from her skin even though they've not been like that in years.

She thinks for a while, stunned at his words but she knows that the damage is done. Her marriage is over, she's broken and her child is unhappy.

"When did he find out?" She asks quietly.

"Around the time you and Antoine Bourbon became acquainted," he replies, dusting a piece of lint from his coat. "I told him, he was getting quite possessive over you because he saw the both of you one day and if you know what happened between our family and Antoine's brother, you'd understand why."

"Do you have someone following me?" She breathes out in shock.

"I'm guessing Antoine told you since you hurried out of that place quicker than the speed of light," Henry says, disregarding her question. "I bet you can't believe that Marcus was killed on purpose."

Kenna's eyes widen and she shakes. "Wh-What?"

"The Bourbons have always had something against my family and me. They were jealous of my success and aimed to bring me down any chance they had," Henry begins. "So, they had my older brother killed and I hired someone to take care of one of theirs. I didn't know my own son would be involved like that. I told Sebastian about my brother and the involvement of the Bourbons and then requested for him to just drive him somewhere. I just wanted a little accident, for both of them to get out unscathed as a warning but Marcus died."

Henry was lying, her husband wasn't a _murderer_ or a conspirator to one.

"You're lying. My Bash would never hurt anyone," she replies.

If this is true, then Antoine's hate for Bash would be very justified and her son's father was a horrible person.

To be honest, did she care about the person he was? She always knew he had his demons yet, she loved his flaws. She saw him in rose-coloured glasses, he could have been a terrible person in another life but she adored him.

"Not on purpose, no, but you don't know _your_ Bash that well, Kenna," Henry tells her disparagingly.

He stands up and corners her against the counter, brushing her hair from her eyes. She begins to lean away from his touch but he wraps an arm around her waist and directs her chin to face him.

"You're not property, Kenna. You're not _his_. He isn't _yours_," he says under his breath, searching her tear filled eyes. "He hurt you, Kenna. So badly without reason and sent you and your child packing to another country entirely. Oh, my dear, what did you _ever_ see in him?"

...

_Six Years Ago_

"...so, we were playing Twister," Kenna began, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as her friends leant in closer to listen to her story, glasses of red wine in their hands.

"And...?" Greer prompted.

Kenna smirked. "We ended up not playing so much after," she finished. "Honestly, his fingers are a work of art..."

She saw Mary falter slightly before she smiled, offering to top up their wine. After refilled glasses, Lola told them her own story about her and her boss, Stephane Narcisse.

She had broken up with her ex-boyfriend, Julien, following an altercation with his best friend, Remy and now, her eyes were set on the older man.

"Narcisse is a sexy man," Greer said approvingly. "Well, don't get me wrong! I love my Aloysius but he isn't the most attractive older man is he?" She giggled.

"Greer!" Mary gasped out, laughing. "Don't start hitting on Lola's man!"

Kenna got up after reading a text on her phone. A smile played on her lips as she placed her wine on the table and put her coat on, grabbing her bag.

"Well, ladies, this girl's _man_ wants her to come home," she said. "I don't know what for, he's already surprised me with bouquets of flowers every single day, what else does he want?"

"Probably to get on more of that Twister sex," Greer suggested, making them all groan but giggle.

"Well, she won't be saying _no_ to that," Lola replied. "Get out of here, you sex craved woman!"

Laughing, Kenna finally left and made her way back to her home. It was an expensive apartment in central London and whenever he came from France, he'd stay with her.

She kicked her heels off and took her coat off, setting her bag on the sofa. The lights were off and she frowned, looking around for him.

Turning a lamp on, she headed down the hall and gasped when she saw rose petals leading to her bedroom. With a grin, she followed them, picking one flower petal up and sniffing it.

Opening the door, she saw Bash waiting for her with a nervous smile and a ring box on show. He got down on one knee and opened the box.

"Will you, Mckenna Beaton," he started, the mention of her full name making her cringe slightly but she still grinned. "Marry me?"

_Perfect_, she thought.

Seeing the lit candles and flowers and expensive gifts _everywhere_, she disregarded them for the man on his knee, waiting for her.

"Can we have Twister sex if I say _yes_?" She asked.

He laughed. "Does that mean you're accepting my proposal?"

"Maybe. Will we have-"

"Yes!"

"Then yes!" She cried out, throwing herself into his arms as he stood up.

Placing chaste kisses on his lips, she began undressing him, giggling when he complained that she wasn't taking her clothes off.

"You're perfect, Bash. Everything I want and more," she told him, kissing him.

"I know you've already said 'yes' but there's something you should know," he said, stopping her actions. "I'm not perfect, Kenna. I'm not the best guy in the world."

There was something in his eyes that she couldn't tell what it was but she remained silent, listening to him.

"I've done bad things that I'm ashamed of but I promise you, I will make you happy and I won't ever hurt you or do bad things to you. I... I-I love you."

Kenna was surprised, this was the first time he said that he loved her. Was he truly over Mary? Was he hers? Did she win this secret battle against Mary for his heart?

"I love you, too," she told him softly with a kiss to his lips. "Why do I need perfection when I have you?" She restated.

"I can't believe you're mine," he said under his breath in slight disbelief, his hands cupping her cheeks.

"And you're mine," she replied, pressing their lips together. "Forever."

...

_Present Day_

She takes a shaky breath and says, "He may not belong to me but I will always belong to him."

"Is that right?" Henry taunts. "I found a Rowan in his shirt when I visited him in France. So soon after you returned to England. It doesn't take a scientist to know what went on between them."

"What do you want, Henry?" She asks him, terrified and upset.

"You don't need to worry about your virtue," he tells her, eyeing her hungrily. "Nor your husband. You've lost both so-"

"Your _grandson_ is asleep in the other room," she cuts him off, beginning to push him away. "And I will _never_ return to your bed, even if it's the last thing on Earth to do. I'm sure Catherine wants her husband back."

He backs away and tuts a few times, fixing his coat and crossing his arms. He takes her in, surprised at what he sees before letting out a proud smirk.

"You won't get a penny from him, you know?" He tells her as if she didn't already know. "But we will get _everything_ from you. Expect a call from one of our lawyers, Kenna."

With that, he leaves and gives her a wave, not even bothering to turn around and face her as he does so. Once the front door is opened and closed, she rushes towards the living room and breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of her sleeping son.

She sits down and just holds him once again, whispering prayers into his ear and promises she hopes to keep.

"He won't have you. God, please don't take my baby away from me..."

She's a mess, she hates that but it's what he's reduced her to. A heartbroken, sobbing wreck of a woman but she's not broken fully.

Slowly, he's chipping her down and weakening her, she believes bitterly. She won't let him.

She stares at Adrien's tiny face, the thought of his eyes staring back at her whenever he was awake. She's glad they're closed now, she can't handle seeing _his_ eyes in their son. Not right now after his father's visit.

He wants him, she knows that but he won't have him. Not as she still breathed. Especially not as Adrien was the only thing of his that she had left. He had made sure none of his things went with her or Adrien to England.

"You won't break me," she whispers into the air. "No, you won't."


	4. Chapter 4

Kenna swears he's following her. She already knows one man who has his eyes watching her every move and now, she has a full-on stalker.

"Antoine, what do you want?" She asks, finally turning around to look at him. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because I love you, Kenna. I've fallen in love with you," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I want you to be with me, bring Adrien if you want and we will go to Spain. Or I can quit Spain for you if you wish to stay here."

Kenna takes a moment to collect herself, fully knowing about whose eyes were on her. She finally takes a breath in and releases it, pressing her lips against Antoine's softly, almost hovering above them.

Pulling back, she gives him a fake smile and says, "Buy me a drink and we can talk some more."

"Why the change of heart?" He asks her.

She wants to say that she's allowed a little fun, Bash liked cheating on her so why shouldn't she sleep around? However, if she wants her plan to work, she's got to play the game.

"It's over for Bash and me," she admits, knowing she doesn't fully believe that. She refuses to. "He's seeking for a divorce and wants my son. He won't have any of those options until he agrees to my terms because it looks like he's getting everything I own and I won't get anything of his."

Antoine strokes her cheek softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know he would be that ruthless. Your son-"

"Is heartbroken but that is our new normal. Thanks for that," she snaps but quickly composes herself. "You have to make it up to me, to my _son_. Without you, we would still be in France living a somewhat happy life with..." She purposefully trails off, knowing that she was making him feel terrible and guilty about the whole situation. "I digress. Buy me a drink."

She's glad that Francis and Mary offered to look after Adrien for her, taking the four children in their care to Lego Land for the day. It means that she can get things in order and take the next steps to sort out her life.

They end up at Wetherspoons, a small restaurant and pub in one and Antoine orders two drinks for them both. She's surprised that he orders a red wine for her and a cider for himself.

"Do you want to eat something?" He asks, getting back to their table and sliding his card back into his wallet.

"No. The wine is fine," she says. "So, what deal is in Spain?"

Antoine smiles a little. "Just a little case. The man's got many lawyers but he wants me to be a part of that team for the new branch he's opening. He was a friend of my father..."

Kenna averts her gaze to the waitress who places down their drinks in front of them. She keeps her attention on the wine as she thinks back to what Henry confessed to her.

It's been a week since she saw him and Bash. None of them has bothered her since and Francis more or less asks of Adrien on his brother's behalf.

"I don't want to do it but I had to get out of France," he adds. "I've not even accepted the deal but I had Spain in my sights. Am I boring you?"

She looks up and plants a fake smile on her face and tells him, "Not at all. Just wondering what to give Adi for dinner."

It's a lie. Mary promised to feed the child lunch and dinner since they'd probably be at Lego Land for hours. Kenna has the house to herself and she even asked if they would let him have a sleepover.

"Sorry, I forget that you're a package deal sometimes," he teases lightly, making her smile for real.

"It's scary thinking like that," she confesses. "I used to think that I had a husband and a child to feed once I returned home from work. Now, I have to think about Adi myself. Think about who is going to pick him up from what, what he's going to eat for dinner."

She sighs, rubbing her forehead. She brings her hand down and reminds herself that she took her ring off after Henry's visit. She had to accept that she wasn't a taken woman.

"I had dreams of my child," Antoine replies sadly. "That he was a boy and I would play football with him. Other times, I had a daughter and I was learning how to plait her hair so she could go to school and show her hair off to her friends." He laughs softly. "They're a blessing. I'm jealous."

Nervously, she places a comforting hand on his and rubs it. "I'm really sorry you lost-"

"It's been a while, I'm getting there," he quickly says, squeezing her hand.

She glances down at their joined hands and remembers a time she wished she had a relationship with Antoine. That Bash was considering leaving her following his affair and that she only had support in Antoine.

"Does it hurt?" She asks him, tears in her eyes. "Leaving your spouse?"

Antoine nods. "God, I miss Jeanne every day but it was a struggle. We both weren't happy, we were really young when we got married and I uprooted my whole life to be with her. It may look like I'm happy to be divorced from her but sometimes, I remind myself that I don't have her to talk to about little, trivial things. Like the weather or what we want to watch on TV that evening... Even what's for dinner."

"Did you love her?"

He nods once again. "With my heart. I feel for her but we both knew it wouldn't mean anything, that we wouldn't work. Marriage is no joke."

"You made mine one," she says quietly, looking up when his hand his cupping her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Kenna. You have no idea how much I am. I love you and I know it's not enough but if you give a chance-"

"Fine," she says, sipping her wine. "I'll give you a, uh, chance."

Antoine beams, bringing her in for a kiss. "I'll stay in England. I'll find a place near you."

"Adrien comes first in my life," she tells him, leaning back.

"I know. Everything will be on your terms. I'll treat you better than he ever did," Antoine replies.

Sniffling, she gives him a hopeful look. "You won't hurt me?" She asks incredulously.

"Kenna, I don't know what a normal relationship means for you but hurting your partner in any way is _not_ part of a healthy relationship," Antoine scolds her. "I won't hurt you."

"Do you want to come back to mine?" She asks him, almost shyly as she glances down.

She hasn't been with anyone since Bash and although she did things with Henry, Bash was technically her first and only. She had intended for that to be forever but with her life heading a different path from his, she wasn't inclined to remain a single woman for life.

"Isn't that a bit too soon?" Antoine asks nervously and she guesses that Jeanne may have been his first and only too. "I mean, you've not had time to process everything."

Then she realises that Antoine definitely had other women whilst he was married. She feels stupid, naive and awkward but she needs to be loved for a while, no matter how brief.

"I've had months to process things," she says. "I've even moved to another country to process things - I want this."

So, they end up in her bed and as he lays asleep beside her, she allows her tears to fall. She keeps her sobs silent, masking her sniffles for snores in case he wakes up.

She feels disgusted, horrible and believes that she's gone and cheated on her husband but then she reminds herself that they're getting a divorce. She's technically a free woman and it's not like it's the first time with the emotional affair.

Although she and Henry were never intimate, she often masked business trips to stand by his side during business parties and other things he had to go on during her marriage. She was the arm candy, an agreement that he'd keep quiet to Bash about their past.

They never did anything, Henry just wined and dined her because she wanted to remain faithful. A few chaste kisses on the cheeks and tense hugs on her part but nothing extreme to warrant that she was a cheater.

Antoine's bare arm wraps around her waist and he brings her to his chest, whispering, "You're not asleep."

"Just thinking about Adi," she lies. "I know he's being well cared for but he doesn't take well to sleeping away from me."

That bit is true. Since they left France, Adrien had been traumatised. Having nightmares of his mother being hurt plagued his mind and he often snuck into her bed.

Her phone beeps with a text, and she opens the text to smile at a picture from Mary. It's of Adrien - he has found himself sleeping beside a sleeping Francis on the couple's bed.

"He's gorgeous," Antoine whispers to her as she zooms in on her little boy's face.

She sends Mary a quick 'thank you' and 'good luck with him pushing you out of your own bed' text before switching her phone off. Turning, she faces Antoine and plants a kiss on his lips.

It's a foreign action, one she would never accept nor like - he isn't Bash and he will never be. But he's here now, treating her like a goddess with his hands roaming her body and his sweet kisses.

Closing her eyes and deepening the kiss, she imagines he's Bash and that he's finally loving her for the first time in ages.

"I love you," she breathes out wistfully. Her eyes snap open but Antoine's remains closed as a smile plays against her lips.

_He's not Bash, he's not Bash, he's not Bash, he's not Bash, he's not-_

"Do you really mean that?" Antoine finally asks her, his eyes now open.

She fakes opening hers too and smiles. "Hmm hmm," she replies. "I guess I didn't realise until now," she says under her breath.

"Now that we've... _done the Devil's Tango_?" He teases her. "Girls do admit a lot when they're screaming my name."

She frowns a little. She doesn't remember screaming his name, much less _anyone's_ name. She's taken back when he laughs at her reaction.

"You're a quiet lover," he says. "Did Bash ever complain about that?"

She blinks a few times. If she was honest, not that she was going to be to Antoine of all people, Bash was the only one who could make her scream, laugh or even cry.

She definitely wasn't quiet when it came to sex with Bash. She reminds herself of Twister sex, especially the one they had after he proposed. The sounds of her laughter plagued her mind and she gets teary-eyed.

"Kenna, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring him up," Antoine says in alarm, wiping her tears.

Instead of dwelling on it, she straddles his lap and kisses him. She plays a dangerous game but she just wants to be loved and cherished and right now, Antoine is doing that for her.

"I don't want to sleep," she says breathlessly above him. "Just..."

"I understand," he replies, kissing her. "I understand most of all, Kenna."


	5. Chapter 5

She would be lying if she says she wasn't _happy_. Content, yes but happy would be pushing it but she still is.

It's been two weeks and she nor Bash are any closer to having their divorce finalised or even signed.

She spends more time with Antoine, allowing him to spend time with her and Adrien sometimes. They have a lot of fun and he's really good with Adrien.

He makes her smile and laugh, not as much as Bash ever did but still. It's a start - she's moving on. They're not even official.

Her heart would always remain with Bash just as her husband's heart would always remain with Mary. Antoine is just enough to settle for right now.

Francis wasn't happy when he learnt of her new relationship with his cousin, begging her to at least keep Adrien away from him. As his mother, she rejects his pleas and tells him to deal with his brother's stubbornness and life and leave hers well alone.

It was _his_ wife who also had a part in her destroyed relationship even if she wasn't a physical factor.

"Lola, thanks for joining me," Kenna says, getting up to hug her friend. "Sorry, I couldn't be arsed to stand up and open the door, I was sorting out through some stuff."

Lola laughs. "I thank you for giving us all spare keys," she replies. "Where do you want me?"

"Adi's baby clothes. He's growing so much, I need to buy new clothes every bloody month!" Kenna tells her.

"Are you moving?" Lola jokes, taking in the messy living room and the TV on daytime shows.

"No!" Kenna laughs. "Just settling in. It's been nearly five months, I've got to move on some time and actually set up a _home_. England is home now. Yes, I have to move on." She sighs sadly.

Lola nods, starting to fold and pack Adrien's baby clothes. "Like Antoine?"

Kenna stills from her position sorting out the coffee table from IKEA. "Francis?" She questions, already knowing the answer.

Lola nods. "And Mary. They invited me over to see John."

Around the time Mary was playing both brothers, Francis and Lola had a one-night stand resulting in little John. She was his birth mother and godmother but Mary was the one he called _mum_. It didn't hurt Lola as much as she thought it would because they (mostly Mary) allowed her free access to the child. She was just 'Aunt Lola' but his favourite aunt because she gave him money and got him whatever he wanted. It was the best choice for everyone and it made hers and Mary's friendship stronger.

"It's none of their business," Kenna finally says. "Hey, when's Greer coming over? Doesn't Aloysius have the kids today?"

"Soon," Lola says. "Don't change the subject. This is _me_ you're talking to. Not Mary, not Greer. Me. We may not have been as close as you are to Mary and me to Greer but remember, whatever you don't tell them, you tell me. Just like I told you about Julien, Remy and Stephane first."

Kenna sighs. Lola was right. After all, Kenna was the first to know that Stephane proposed to Lola and many other things.

"It's more or less a rebound," Kenna confesses. "I don't love him but I did... tell him that." She winces.

Lola gasps. "Mckenna Beaton! Why would you play with someone's heart like that?"

"Because I know no better?" Kenna snaps, cringing at her full name. "Because every relationship I've had screws me over? Six years of my life meant nothing - it wasn't real because Bash falsely told me he loved me when in truth, he loved Mary. Why can men do things like that but women can't? I didn't even mean it, we were having sex and I kept imagining he was Bash and it slipped out-"

Lola nods sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm not judging you - I'm the last person to." She strokes Kenna's hair as the other woman becomes distressed.

"Mary is always at the centre of it. If she hadn't played with Francis and Bash, you and Francis would never have had John and Bash would be mine. I love her, but she couldn't allow me this."

"Antoine is nice, I guess," Lola starts quietly, moving on from the conversation slight as it hit too close to home. "Francis says otherwise but he seems nice. I've checked his social media. A lawyer who originates from Spain and he's got gorgeous wavy hair!"

Kenna laughs, hugging Lola. "It's not forever, just to mend my broken heart but he's helping me. Just like when he did after Bash slept with Rowan."

"You deserve to be happy, to have a _real_ love and not one based on a transaction deal. What did your parents say?" Lola asks, bringing her friend closer so Kenna could lie down on her lap.

"I haven't told them, yet," Kenna confesses. "I'm scared to. I keep rejecting their calls. I send them brief texts but I'm scared they would find out from the tone of my voice. I'm a disappointment. I half expect for them to drive down and demand to-"

The doorbell rings and Kenna and Lola jump.

"It may just be Greer," Lola whispers, hiding behind the sofa by the French backdoors.

"She would have used her key," Kenna says, joining her. "And Mary or Francis would have called if anything went down at the playdate. They're only across the road _and_ have keys."

"Oh God, it's your parents!" Lola whines.

The ringing gets intense and Kenna breaks, getting up from her hiding spot and answering the door.

She's shocked to see Bash about to leave, but he turns and faces her.

"Hey," he says. "I was going to see if you were across the road - yours and Lola's cars are here."

_Observant_, she thinks.

"We were sorting out the house. Come in, I guess," she replies, stepping back to let him inside, closing the door behind him.

"You haven't sorted out this place since you moved in?" Bash asks her, heading to the kitchen with no guidance.

He fills the kettle up with water and plugs it, turning to face her with a questioning gaze from his earlier statement.

"No," she admits. "I didn't feel the need to until now."

Lola appears by the archway leading to the living room from the kitchen and gives Bash a small wave. "Hey. It's been a while."

"It has," he says. "How have you been?"

"Good. I'm going to go over to see John," she tells Kenna. "Call me when you're done, I'm bringing my phone."

Kenna nods. "Tell Greer to go there until otherwise."

Leaving the broken couple alone, Lola leaves with her key to the house and her phone, her handbag still in the living room. At times like these, Kenna is glad she lives across from Francis and Mary.

"Where's Adrien?"

"With Francis and Mary. I didn't want him to mess up my progress on making this place a forever home for us," she tells him, hearing the click of the kettle before she prepares teas for them.

They sit at the breakfast table and she wonders why he is there. Did he find out about her and Antoine? She did see one of his father's many bodyguards stalking her every move.

"Antoine," he finally says, confirming her suspicions. "Wasted no time on getting with him."

"Don't start," she says, slamming the table. "You don't get to do that! So, what? What if I'm with Antoine now and we're having hot, great and steamy sex?"

She smirks to herself when he twitches at her description of what she gets up to with his cousin.

"He's really good to Adi," she continues. "He loves me - more than you ever did. He treats me better than you did, not like _shit_ or someone to blame when things were going wrong." She's crying now. "He makes me feel _loved_. I'm in his heart, no one else is and he gives me chances to be _myself_."

A part of her is shocked at what she is saying. Everything she says is true, very true but she doesn't want it to be. But they are.

"You're right," she says. "We won't work. This divorce is better for everyone. It will be healthy for us both to go our separate ways - you've already moved on. I'm sure you will be happy with Rowan-"

"How do you know about Rowan?" He falters.

She tilts her head. "How do _you_ know about Antoine?" She retorts.

"Henry," he realises. "My father can't keep his nose out of my business."

"I didn't mean to have a relationship with him," she finally says. "I was sixteen, just looking for a bit of fun but we never went _all the way_. I never had sex with him, we just messed around-"

"And during our marriage?"

She glares at him. "I never went to him. How dare you even ask that when you've clearly committed adultery." She rolls her eyes.

"You're right," he says, backing off. "I have no right to even consider thinking about that. I didn't come here to accuse you or judge you about your love life. It's been two weeks, Kenna, and we've not made any effort towards your so-called reconciliation plans. You've obviously changed your mind."

"Fine," she replies, standing up and collecting the papers from the drawer. She takes every sheet out and begins to sign them. "You're right. We've both moved on, I meant fuck all to you..." She's signing them quickly, slipping through every sheet in a quick motion.

Her signature destroys her heart, a very cursive and feminine '_Mckenna d. Poitiers_'.

He had told her of his family ancestry, they got rid of the '_de_' over the century but she found it beautiful, elegant and _French_. That meant she found it sexy. She would have to resort to her maiden name. Her boring Scottish maiden name, 'Beaton'.

Finally done, she shoves the sheets into his chest, watches him put them in his pocket and gets up, heading to the front door.

Just as she reaches it, she's pulled back, twirled and her back suddenly touches the wall beside the door to the living room by the front door.

"We weren't done talking," Bash says to her. "You didn't mean _fuck all_ to me. You're the mother of _my son_, we will always have him to link us together. I don't know if you remember but I did love you, I told you that every day-"

"But who were you assuring to of that? Me or yourself? You wanted to force yourself into believing that," she hisses. "You almost said it, that night with the shooting stars but you stopped. Why? Because you were betraying your precious Mary? Not every day, did you tell me that, by the way. Those '_I love you_'s, became '_I hate you_'s." Her tears return as horrible memories flashes through her mind. "And many other spiteful words. You couldn't stand me, you believed that I killed our baby! You didn't care that my boss was about to _rape_ me - your brother had to drag him off me and I had nightmares of that night. Wondering what could have happened if he was successful. I just wanted my husband to love me and care for me, but you didn't and our unborn child suffered. Over time, I accepted that whenever Mary came calling, you'd drop everything for her, but you would never be _my_ knight in shining armour. You wouldn't wish to lay beside me every night in bed because you'd think about her and Francis. I never was like this - I never used to get so hung up on guys but... you may have gone and broken me."

His palms cup her cheeks and she tries to back away but the wall reminds her that she's trapped. He's wiping her tears and she's shaking.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, leaning his head against hers.

She shakes her head. "Six _years_. Six unreal years. Six years of my life was a lie. It was all fake and I was living in a paper town. Everything was a lie."

"Not all of it," he swears.

"You don't believe that," she replies, her voice breaking. "You don't."

She gasps when his lips press against hers and for a minute, her mind gives up and she pulls him against her. She wants this, she's craved for nothing more than this for a long time.

She doesn't understand why nor does she care but she sighs against his lips and her tears don't stop.

Her hands find their way pushing his coat off slightly as his own hands start to unbutton her shirt. When he's done, he places them on her exposed skin and her back arches into his touch. The touch she's been hungry for and pretends it's his when she's with Antoine.

_I love you, I love you, I love you,_ she chants in her head. _Oh, God... I've missed this. You, your body, your soul, your eyes..._

A part of her doesn't want to come to her senses, she wishes this could go on forever but something in her snaps and she pushes him away.

"No," she says, breathing heavily. "I'm not yours. I-I'm with Antoine-"

"I'm sorry," he breathes out, covering his face. "I don't know what came over me-"

"That's what you do," she shouts at him. "Play with me, my heart, like that! So many people have told me that you don't own me, yet I believed that you did. No, I'm moving on, I've signed your stupid divorce papers, leave me alone!"

She forces herself away from his light grip and heads to the front door, opening it.

"Please, leave," she demands, not reaching his eyes.

She curses herself, she doesn't want this but it's the right thing to do. She would keep running back to him and lose herself.

Fixing his coat and hair, he heads out but stands at her doorstep, turning to face her.

"I did love you," he repeats. "I always will love you, too. Not because of Adi or anything or anyone else but because you understood me. You were the first one to accept me for who I was. You gave me everything yet, I threw it back in your face. We were toxic, Kenna but I did care about you. I wanted to protect you, to love you, to be the only one you slept with and cared about and you did all those things and more but I didn't keep my promise. I'm sorry."

"That's why you pushed me away every time?" She asks, hurt. "That's why we were a _mistake_ yet, you got _comfortable_ with me? You hate me-"

"I don't hate you. Kenna, I warned you that I was a bad person. I warned you that I did bad things-"

"But you also promised to make me happy, never _hurt_ me or do bad things to me. Sebastian, you've failed. Your words mean _nothing_," she replies, heartbroken. "I don't believe you, I don't trust you! I stayed even though you had a horrible past, I even gave you a _child _\- something of me. A chance to do better! You make me sick and it's funny because I _disgust you_."

She slams the door in his face and turns, sliding down it in heavy sobs. She doesn't care that he can hear them, and she knows he hears because the doorbell is constantly ringing now.

She covers her ears and shut her eyes, rocking herself into comfort but her breathing quickens and she feels the air becoming restrictive and hot.

_Bloody panic attack_, she thinks.

She hasn't had any since leaving Bash months ago because she had to stay strong for Adrien. Her health, physical and mental, is haywire and she wants to scream.

She hears someone call her name repeatedly, but it's faint.

She can't breathe but at the same time, she doesn't want to move and her throat is sore.

_Keep those ears covered, they can't hurt you. Keep your body rocking, they can't hold you down. We're all falling down. We're all falling down. Down into nothingness. Oh, dear God, what a mess... We're all falling down. Keep those ears covered, they can't hurt you. Keep your body rocking, they can't hold you down..._

In her mind, she sings a tune her mother taught her when she was little. Her parents got into the worse arguments and sometimes, they used their children as leverage, grabbing their hands or shoulders to pull them away from each other. Thank God, they were a lot better now. They used to be such wrecks but after a lot of therapy, they found each other again.

She often sung it to Adrien but being the stubborn boy he was, he refused to listen, bemoaning his parents' relationship. She did it to soothe him, as a defence mechanism and so that he could learn that their issues weren't his.

When the tune doesn't work, she tries again.

The darkness begins to set in, she becomes woozy and her body slumps onto the ground.

_Finally_, she thinks.

...

Kenna wakes up in her bed, tucked in nicely. She turns and checks her alarm clock - 5:58 PM.

She can hear Adrien babbling about something or another downstairs and she wonders who put her in bed and tended to her child.

Getting out of bed, she heads downstairs and sees Mary and Francis playing Monopoly with all four children on the ground in front of the TV. Greer and Lola are on the sofa getting ready to watch the evening BBC news.

Greer is the first one to notice her. "Kenna! You had us all worried!"

"What happened?" Kenna asks, genuinely confused.

Her mind is foggy but her mother's voice, singing that tune, is still faint in her ringing ears.

"Come to the kitchen," Mary says, gesturing for the ladies to follow them.

In the kitchen, they are all nursing glasses of wine as Francis stays with the children, glad to have a chance to change the channel to something other than News.

"What do you remember?" Lola asks softly, placing a hand on Kenna's forearm.

"Bash came over, we talked and I got upset," she starts. "I forced him to leave."

Greer nods. "I arrived then. You were screaming and he was trying to get you to open the door."

Kenna frowns deeply. "What? No, I was crying-"

"Screaming, Kenna."

Did she remember things differently?

"Wh-What?" She breathes out.

"It sounded like you were being murdered," Greer continues. "Nearly had to break the door down but I had a key. Thank God, I had it because Bash was ready to pull it off its hinges!"

Lola nods. "Yeah, I came out when I saw Greer's car. You had a severe panic attack, you were holding your breath and wouldn't respond."

"You're lucky that I'm a doctor," Greer adds. "You would have died if it weren't for me."

"And Bash," Mary cuts in gently. "He was really scared, said you hadn't had one of those in front of him since you had the..."

Kenna sighs, rubbing her face. "Since I lost the baby. His mum got me through that." She sniffles. "My mum sang this song when my brothers and I were little and they argued all the time. This was before Pais and Lockie came, it was just me, Dougie and Alex and they used to pull us from the other parent, using us against themselves. I have that bloody song in my head. It's made up, my mum told me that, but something tells me that it isn't because one day, I found myself singing that to Adi."

She writes down the words and shows them to her friends, their eyes showing sadness for her.

"They're good now, but I'm not," she tells them sadly. "I hate that song and what it means, but that's my life now. No matter who I move on to, Adi's going to be in the middle of it all. In all the horribleness and drama." She hiccups. "I may be selfish, but I care about my baby boy."

Her voice is scratchy and her throat sore but she uses the wine to calm her nerves.

"You look _thin_," Greer tells her. "Sickly thin and not your usually sexy thin."

Kenna lets out a bitter chuckle. "Flattering."

"Do you eat?" Lola asks her.

"To be honest, if it isn't tea or wine, I don't bother," Kenna admits.

Mary takes her hand. "You're making yourself ill. I love you and I'm sorry you're going through this but you need to fix yourself. If not and you keep declining with these panic attacks, screaming fits and lack of decent food and sleep, Bash will hold this against you when he comes for Adrien. Do this for Adrien, please."

"Why do you care?" Kenna asks her, tears slipping down her cheeks. "He was never mine but yours."

Mary shoves her hand back and leans back in her seat. "Why doesn't _anyone_ understand that I don't love Bash?!" She asks them, guilty looks all around the table. "I never did! Not like that, at least. I'm happy, I have beautiful kids with my husband... It's not _my_ fault every time Bash does something stupid and horrible. Don't use me as an excuse because Kenna, _you're_ the one I'm supporting. _You're_ the one who comes to my place and hangs out with me, Francis and the kids with Adrien. _You're_ the one who is my childhood best friend up until this day and forever more. I love you so much and you still hold that over my head like a guillotine knife. I may have been the reason your marriage failed, I may not have been but either way, I have _your_ back and not his."

Mary downs her wine then wipes her tears and crosses her arms defiantly. She's done being the scapegoat for all of their issues.

Kenna sighs. "I'm sorry," she whispers, reaching out for her _best friend_ to take her hand. She smiles when Mary immediately does. "Maybe, Bash is right. I'm an unfit mother for Adi."

"Oh, Kenna!" Lola groans out. "You're not! He's wrong and how can you think that he thinks that after today? He demanded that we call him when you awoke from your sleep. We haven't yet."

"Send him a text," Greer says. "Kenna, how many children do I have? Not just biological."

"Seven," Kenna replies.

Greer nods. "Yes, seven. One is in university and the other six are still at home whilst I'm an on-call ED doctor and my husband owns his own company that pulls in millions upon millions each year. I rarely get a chance to see my kids, all seven of them, sometimes and I feel _horrible_. That doesn't make me an unfit mother, being a doctor. No, because no matter what, I'll take a bullet for all of them. You have a reason for being like this - your husband split from you with no warning and you've been forced to uproot from the life you knew and start again. Being stressed out because of events does not mark you as unfit."

"Kenna, we are all here for you," another voice says and they turn to see Francis leaning against the wall. "I'm sorry on his behalf. We may not be in-laws soon anymore but I will always be there for you."

Kenna sends him a grateful smile, checking her phone to see that there are texts from Bash and Antoine.

She curses when one of their names pops up on her screen, her phone blearing its ringtone.

"Answer it," Lola tells her with a small smile. "You deserve to be happy."

Kenna bites her lip and answers the call, putting on loudspeaker mode. She doesn't mind that everyone is listening. Her life was already as public knowledge as it could be.

"Antoine, hey," she says.

"_Hey, Beautiful. I was thinking about stopping by with a bottle of wine and your favourite chocolates after Adrien's asleep. Or maybe a certain cousin of mine could take him for the night?_"

She cringes, the feeling of Bash's lips against hers haunting her. She really doesn't want to see him, but at the same time, he's really lovely and caring and she needs that.

"Come over at 11. Forget the chocolates, I'm not feeling too good," she replies, rubbing her head.

She feels sick for all sorts of reasons. The kiss with Bash, her panic attack and the general health. She was tired.

"_Chocolates are already forgotten about!_" Antoine assures her. "_Want something to help you feel better, instead? I'm heading into Tesco now, maybe, I can stop by the pharmacy section. Oh, you need to refill your tea cupboard - I see some new flavours from Twinings advertised._"

She smiles at his thoughtfulness and she looks at Francis to see something in him turning. He's upset, she knows that because he always thought she and Bash were a great match otherwise he wouldn't have suggested they get together.

"Get them," she says. "I'll pay you-"

"_Don't even think about repaying anything, love. I got this. Tell Adrien that I'm getting him some ice cream. It's nearly Summer, he deserves some sweet treats. Unless his father wants him for the holidays?_"

"I don't know," she says with a slight shrug. "We don't talk. I have to go, see you at 11."

She hangs up before he can say another word and downs her wine. She pours another glass and waits for someone to speak.

"That was abrupt," Greer finally says, sipping her wine.

"I'll see him at 11," Kenna replies nonchalantly. "My love life is out of bounds for the topic of conversation."

"Before it is, who wants to send Bash the text?" Lola asks before all eyes are on her and her shoulders fall. "Fine! You owe me, Kenna."

"A bottle of Baileys is in your future!" Kenna tells her dramatically. "I see it in your lines."

Lola smirks. "Making fun of my mum, aren't you?"

"No," Kenna says with a grin. "I'm appreciating her occupation. Thank you, though. All of you because I don't know where I'd be without you. You're making this bearable at least."

They slip into a conversation, digressing from her love life but at the back of her mind, Kenna replays the kiss she had with Bash.

She was glad that she was wearing a vest under her silk shirt otherwise, people would have guessed that something went on. Her outfit was casual enough to not warrant questions buttoned or unbuttoned but Lola knew.

She left the house with Kenna's shirt buttoned and returned to see it unbuttoned but the other brunette kept quiet about that. That's why Kenna liked her. Not that Greer or Mary wouldn't keep quiet, but Lola and she liked some secrets to be unknown.


	6. Chapter 6

**Replies to reviews:**

**Greyandmint [chapter 3]: Thanks for the review, I hope you're enjoying so far :)  
**

**elder411 [chapter 4]: Thank you so much! :) I'm hoping to start a Frary one after this. They might be linked or may not. Haven't decided yet.**

**BlerBlerBler [chapter 5]: Henry and Bash have a lot of issues, linking to their pasts which only a select few know the full story. Francis is involved but like in the show universe, Henry uses Bash to do his dirty work at times and keeps Francis out of it. Although Francis does know about his family's dark past and is even involved himself. So far, Francis is pretty much the 'normal' one of the Valois-Poitiers but as you said, you can't really know for sure ;) I do believe Mary has a lot do with Bash's feelings for Kenna but at the same time, she isn't the full picture of why Kennash didn't work. Mary is happy and in love with Francis and for the past six years or so, Kenna and Bash have lived in France whilst Frary were in England. She isn't directly an obstacle in their marriage because she barely had contact with Bash, only Kenna. About the John, Francis and Lola situation, the Valois family are pretty powerful and she accepts that John needs his father. They've pretty much covered up his parentage but she's glad that she's good friends with Francis and best friends with Mary so they would never disallow her from being her son's mother. She had to accept that over time but even though this is mainly focused on Kennash, we do get to see the other characters and their lives through snippets. I'm glad this story is keeping you on your toes, haha. It's not my usual type of genre, having this much darkness and mystery around characters but after watching Reign, I realised that there's so much darkness entwined with their drama, I decided to make my own twist. Thanks for enjoying it!**

**elder441 [chapter 5]: Exactly, yeah. The writers could have let Mary pretend that she was John's mother until she and Francis had an heir but as it's 'historically correct' (even though it so isn't), I guess they needed to make Frary have cracks in their marriage. As much as I like John, I sometimes wish he wasn't there because they destroyed Mary and Lola's friendship, allowing Lola to act as some confidant for Francis and his marriage is in tatters, leaving Lola stuck between her best friend and queen and the King of France who is allowing her and her son to live at Court. I guess we live for the drama.**

* * *

"What do you mean 'it's not finalised'?" Kenna asks her solicitor, her eyebrows furrowing. "I signed everything I had to and he took the papers."

Her solicitor sighs, rubbing her forehead. "This is just a tactic," she tells Kenna. "You do know who you are divorcing, right? His father is powerful, he has an army of solicitors-"

"I have rich parents too," Kenna interjects. "I'm sure they would be happy to support me with a _full_ legal team if you can't on your own."

Her solicitor raises an eyebrow. "Kenna, it's not only you and Mr Poitiers involved - you have a son. Just focus on that."

"I won't win," Kenna says firmly. She truly believes that because her solicitor is right. "I don't even want anything of his - I just want joint-custody."

"Even though you want for nothing from him, the Valois-Poitiers family want something from _you_. Your parents invest and hold shares in their company, the shares are technically yours."

Kenna frowns. "They want me to sell my family's shares for next to nothing?"

"Now, you get it. You were only needed to fund their business but now, the stock shares are high again and it's making a lot of money, they want what's theirs."

"No." Kenna smiles. "I will fight for my shares. They used me, I'll use them. This and my son are my only leverage and I really don't want my son to be a part of this mess."

Mrs Stark gives a firm nod. "Good girl. I've spoken to your father, it was out of courtesy."

"So, he knows."

"It's been _months_. We're now in the middle of August and right now, your son is in France with his father. If this doesn't work, he will have a right to keep Adrien there since the child is a French citizen. Although Adrien is also a British citizen because of you, they will question his education plans and it seems Mr Poitiers has that sorted."

Kenna feels a headache coming on. Stark is absolutely correct, Adrien is both a French and British citizen and his education plans are proving difficult for her to organise easily.

Since January when she left France with her son to now, seven months later, she feels trapped. Not even Antoine can make her feel better at times but she does allow him to take her mind off things.

"Should I expect a call from Father Dearest?" Kenna rolls her eyes. "As if enough disappointment couldn't give him more heart failure."

"I will inform him of the situation. Then, we will put together a strong legal team, gather every bit of evidence against your husband and his family and-"

"Leave Bash out of this," Kenna says quietly.

She doesn't want anyone to dig into his past. Most of it was unknown to her, but she still didn't want him to be imprisoned should anything surface.

"He's a good guy, never had as much as a parking ticket. It's just his dad who is pulling the strings. God, most of his family help me out, I can't bring all of them into this," she informs her solicitor.

Her solicitor studies her. "I'll find whatever I can on Henry Valois. I don't think it would help much, but it will show cracks in Mr Poitiers support system. I _will_ get you this divorce and everything you want, but it might get ugly."

"I don't care how ugly it gets, as long as I'm facing it and not Adrien."

When she gets home, she finds Antoine waiting for her. Annoyed with how her day began, she flings her handbag onto the sofa and latches her lips onto Antoine's, gripping onto his hair.

When he pulls away, he smiles. "Someone's in a strop."

"Upstairs. Now," she commands, ignoring his words.

A while later, she covers her torso and lays back on the bed, running a hand through her damp hair. Beside her, Antoine laughs breathlessly.

"That was... That was quite something, Kenna," he tells her, placing a chaste kiss on the corner of her lips. "What's got you so wound up? Not that I didn't enjoy what we just did-"

She rolls her eyes. "We're not together for you to ask questions," she snaps. "Sorry, it's not you-"

"It's Bash?" He asks, already knowing it's true. "What did he say?"

"Nothing, that's the thing. We haven't spoken in _months_. Whenever he wants something from me, he asks Francis to tell me. Now, my baby's miles away in another country and he won't even tell me how he is."

Kenna rubs her head, her headache increasing. Francis and Mary had helped her take Adrien to Paris, to Bash, as they wanted to visit Catherine and Francis's other family in another part of France, Fontainebleau, with the kids.

She doesn't want to tell Antoine about her divorce issues, she _knows_ Bash hasn't signed them. He's dragging his feet and she doesn't know why. Their kiss meant nothing, his words meant nothing.

"Round four? To take your mind off things?" He grins, circling a spot on her bare hip.

On the one hand, Kenna wants to say 'yes'. She wants to forget about Bash and all the problems that come with the green-eyed husband of hers. She wants to scream Antoine's name out, making sure she's over Bash.

But on the other hand, she wants to say 'no'. She wants to kick Antoine out of her bed and pack a suitcase. She wants to book a plane ticket and go to France. She wants to kiss Bash again, scream his name and be happy with him and Adrien but she can't.

She ultimately can't do that. Or can she?

"No," she says, closing her eyes. "I have things to do. Greer called me before I arrived, she needs me." It's all lies. But something tells her that if he leaves, he may still be waiting to see if she goes so she adds, "I'm going to stay at hers for a few days to help her. I think she's pregnant again but she hasn't confirmed anything. I mean, asking me to help should be enough sign, but she always asks me-"

"You're rambling, baby," Antoine tells her, laughing.

She hates that pet name, Bash steered well clear of it. They only used it when referring to Adrien. Sometimes, hearing 'Beautiful' from Antoine's lips makes her feel sick, that was what Bash called her and it feels wrong hearing anyone but him say that.

Antoine gets up, flinging the duvet off his body and slipping his boxers back on. She turns away, almost berating herself for sleeping with him, but she also slips out of bed and gets dressed.

"Am I just sex to you, Kenna?" She hears him ask behind her as she latches her bra.

"No," she says. Lie. "You're more than that."

"I feel like I'm just useful for sex," Antoine moans. "Was Bash seriously the only guy you've-"

"Finish that question, I dare you," she snaps, turning to face him as she slips a camisole on. "Go on. Every time, you bring him up. I never do. It's like you _want_ me to remember my failed relationship, that you've got me now and he doesn't."

He looks hurt, but also like a puppy who has been told off. She was right in her observation then.

"I told him," she starts. "Before he shunned me once again, that we have hot, great steamy sex. Do you want to keep having that or shall we call things quits?"

Antoine rushes over to her, bringing her into his arms. "I'm sorry. I'll put the bitterness behind me. I know how much it hurts you-"

"Not just me, my son too! Bash will always be his dad so that means we will always have things that tie us together. I'm sorry that I do but I can't apologise for that! Bash," she stops. She wants to say '_is'_ but she has to be careful. "_Was_ my husband and I gave him six years of my life. He's my son's father, Antoine. Don't punish me for having a child with my ex-husband."

"I'll give you some time. Call me when you're..." He trails off, waving his hand as he finally finds his shirt and slips it on.

He places a kiss on her lips and she pulls away, still annoyed at him. Scoffing, he finally leaves and she breathes a sigh of great relief.

Quickly, she packs a bag with enough clothing and underwear for two weeks. That was how long she had until the new school year started.

She packs her charger and puts her laptop in her handbag, sending a quick text to Greer to come and pick her up. She knows Antoine and one of Henry's secret eyes were watching so she has to play things right.

Greer arrives ten minutes later and soon, they're on the way to the airport.

"Are you sure about this?" Greer asks her, not feeling so happy about the situation.

"Yes," Kenna replies. "It's most likely that Adrien will stay in France for school, but when I can, I'll find him a school here in England. I just need to be there for him."

She has a plan. She would make regular trips to and from France and keep Antoine happy in between. Not that she cares about him but he has been some good support and good sex if she's honest. Not as good as Bash but still good sex.

"It's only an hour flight," Kenna mumbles, checking the details. "I think."

"You haven't checked?" Greer's eyes widen in incredulity. "God, Kenna!"

Kenna rolls her eyes. "This is all spur of the moment. Don't worry, I've got this!"

"If you're sure..." Greer replies, unbelieving.

Opening her mouth to speak, Kenna's phone rings and she frowns upon seeing the name and photo on her screen.

Nervously, she answers it.

"Bash?"

"_Okay, I don't want to alarm you but..._"

"But...?" She prompts.

She hears him move on the other line before saying, "_Adrien had a little accident. He's fine, they're keeping him at the hospital overnight._"

"What?" She cries out, nudging Greer to step on it. "When?"

"_A few hours ago-_"

"And you didn't think to call me?!" She asks him, ignoring Greer's fearful looks. "He's my son, Sebastian. If he's hurt, as his mother, I'm inclined to know!"

He sighs. "_I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to worry you. I know you had a meeting with your solicitor this morning-_"

Great, now he knew when she met with her legal team.

"About that, why the _fuck_ haven't you signed the papers, yet?" She hisses down the line, slamming the dashboard when Greer stops at a red light. "It's this to punish me? To make sure I don't ask for anything of yours? Bash, just let me go!"

"_Calm down, Kenna,_" Bash snaps. "_I haven't got the time to argue and if you must know, I've been busy running a company and the rest._"

"What do you mean? Where's your dad?" She frowns.

"_Very sick. Francis is here to help me but he's not staying for long._"

Kenna finally realises why Francis and Mary insisted that they go to France and were eager to help her take Adrien back.

"_Kenna, just... If you want to come, I'll buy you a ticket right now - I've got my laptop with me._"

"Yes, I'm on my way," she says calmly.

"_When you arrive, don't start anything. You're just here for Adi, and that's all._"

She swallows deeply. "Hmm hmm." She and he both know that she most likely will start something.

"_Okay, I'll buy the ticket and send you the details over._"

He hangs up before she could herself and tears spring to her eyes. She feels sick and tired and she just wants everything to stop. The pain, the lies, the drama all to _stop_.

"Adrien's hurt?" Greer asks softly. "I'm so sorry. Look, we'll be there in ten."

"Thank you," Kenna croaks out. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be-"

"You're fine," Greer assures her with a comforting smile and quickly squeezes her hand. "I'm just glad my hormones haven't fully kicked in."

"Are you saying...?"

"Baby number three slash eight is on the way," Greer announces, beaming.

Kenna gasps happily. "I thought as much, cheeky! When I get back, I'll congratulate you and Aloysius properly. Oh, Greer, I'm so happy for you! You're glowing, Gorgeous!"

"_Gorgeous Greer_, been a while since I've heard that one!" The blonde teases. "Good luck, Kenna. Everything will turn out fine."

...

Kenna's heart stops for a beat, her eyes landing on her precious baby. She takes him in for a minute, the bandage wrapped around his head and the new gnash across the cheek on his porcelain, olive skin.

He laughs at something Bash whispers into his ear in French, the both of them grinning at their little secret.

She's furious, she's upset but she has to push those feelings down and be there for her son. The life she held in her womb, now his own person.

"Maman!" He calls out in French upon seeing her. He grins his little boyish grin and opens his arms wide when she leans down to hug him.

"Oh, my baby! Mon petit garçon," she says, thinking she might as well speak a little French to her darling son. She kisses his head. "What happened?" She asks Bash.

Before he can speak, Adrien tells her himself, "We were playing in Meme's gardens! I climbed a tree."

"You climbed a tree?" She cries out, glaring at Bash. "You're only five, Adi! You could have seriously hurt yourself."

"Papa helped me," Adi says as if that could help his defence. "My ball was stuck in the tree."

The door opens and Diane steps inside, placing a gentle hand on Kenna's shoulder in comfort.

"Adrien, do you want to sing something with me whilst Maman and Papa talk outside?" She asks the young child, taking Bash's seat as he leaves.

Kenna pauses for a minute. She wants to remain with her son for a little while longer but she knows they have to talk. She needs to talk about the kiss, the divorce and now, this incident.

Begrudgingly, she arises from her seat and kisses Adrien's head. "I love you, baby boy. I'll be right back."

She turns and leaves, closing the door behind her before turning to Bash with a pointed finger.

"Cut the bullshit," she hisses. "You know full well that I would start something. Here's that something - you're despicable!"

"Kenna-"

"He's my son! He could have _died_! Would you have waited for hours then to tell me?" She demands. "I trusted you to look after our son and next, I'm getting a call he's ended up at the hospital."

She wants to cry so badly, but she's sick of that. She does wince in pain when the dull ache in her head continues.

"Kenna, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be this serious, but when they started to say that he could have a concussion, I got scared. I'm not cut out for this, being a dad. When we were together, we raised him _together_, but now, it's scary and I'm alone. I don't understand some things and you did all of that because you are his mum and you've looked after him from the minute he was in you."

She looks away, staring through the window at Adrien. "Do you hate me that much?" She shakes her head. "God, Bash!"

"I'm sorry. I'll keep apologising until you forgive me," he replies. "I can't stop thinking about your lips, that kiss-"

"No," she whines.

"You don't disgust me - I was upset when I said that," he says quietly. "I'm tired of the fighting, the pain, everything. Everything's a mess. My dad, the company, you and Adi... I can't handle it all!"

She understands, she guesses. That amount of stress dealt alone could break anybody.

She's caught off guard when he walks up to her and her back hits the wall as she tries backing away. She's sick of always ending up in this vulnerable position and she wants to hit him but she waits and sees what he's got to say or do for himself.

"I know you're with _him_ now," he says, strained. "But if you give me another chance, we can be happy. We're were good because if we weren't, Adrien wouldn't have turned out to be a great kid. Mostly because of you, of course. Kenna, I miss you. I miss us."

She shakes her head sternly. "No, Bash. You're upset, stressed with everything that's going on. I'm not your escape."

"I don't want you to be my escape," Bash tells her. "I want you to be my _wife_."

"Been there, done that and I'm _trying_ to get the divorce finalised," she sings in annoyance. "Being your wife is dangerous. Divorcing you is dangerous. Don't you understand what your family wants from mine?"

Bash sighs. "I didn't ask him to get involved, okay?"

"But he is! Henry is pulling the strings _like he always does_. Our marriage, our child's education and now, our divorce! He has _people_ watching me, for God's sake. The man's mental!"

Bash freezes and she knows she struck a nerve. She thinks she should keep digging but she doesn't want to lose another minute arguing when she could spend time with Adrien.

But then, she changes her mind anyway.

"How sick is your dad exactly?" She questions curiously.

"Kenna, you know mental health issues run in my family - my dad's schizophrenic," he confesses. "The Board at the company decided to make me the de facto CEO. I'm trying to talk Francis into it because Charles and Henri are too young to even think about running a billion-dollar business and my father won't even allow any of my half-sisters near it." He looks away. "I'm sorry I'm like him. I cheat, I drink, I hate myself... I hope to God that I've not got his..."

Kenna runs a finger over his jawline, turning his face to look at her. She sees the sincerity, the pain and the tiredness in his eyes and she wants to make him feel better. But she can't, not any more. As of now, she was his wife in name and on paper only.

"I'm so sorry, Bash. How long has he been...?"

"A little over two years," he replies.

She raises her eyebrows. "So, in January when we split up, you were dealing with this? As well as the time around Antoine and my boss?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"God, Bash! Is Henry the reason we're not together? Or do you want to blame his health issues on me too?" She snipes, slapping his chest and crossing her arms.

"I didn't know how to feel, Kenna. My dad may be mad and he's not the best father in the world, but he still is my father. I grew up in Paris with my mum whilst he lived with Catherine, Francis and the rest of them in another city. I barely got to see him and whenever he came to visit, he only ever threw money at me and disappeared. Maybe, to sleep with my mother, I don't know nor do I care. At the end of the day, he's the only dad I've got."

She turns his face to look at her and she says, "Do you mean everything? About loving me?"

"God, yes. Yes, I was mad about finding out about you and my dad, but as you said, you were sixteen. He even admitted you didn't go as far as sex, but it still hurt me. You mean everything to me, Kenna. You and Adi are my family and without either of you, I'm nothing. I can't do this alone."

"What about Mary?"

"What _about_ Mary?" He mimics, rolling his eyes. "That book is shut forever, burnt even. She doesn't mean anything to me."

"Antoine told me about the car accident revolving his brother and you. He told me that you were on a call to Mary before the crash happened."

Bash blinks a few times in surprise. "That was years ago, Kenna. Honestly, she's nothing."

"And what about us being a mistake and _comfortable_?"

"Come on, Kenna," Bash mutters under his breath.

"No, Bash. I'm not stupid! No one says something like that and doesn't mean it! Yes, _we_ were a mistake but not Adi. Don't bring him into this."

"I won't," Bash promises her.

She nods. "Good. Now, Bash, sign those papers, please."

"Do you really want this?"

"Yes," she says, nodding eagerly. "You started it, I'm finishing it."

"I'll sign them," he finally says. "But stay with my mother and me at least. I won't let you get a hotel when you stay here. You don't need to waste any money on an indefinite stay."

She searches his eyes for something but doesn't find it. Puckering her lips a little in thought, she turns and heads back into the hospital room, grinning at Adrien.

"Finally," Adrien says, gripping onto her hand. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby," Kenna replies, kissing his head. "Now, would you like Mama to stay?"

Adrien grins, giving his grandmother an excited look before turning back to his mother with a nod.

"Yes, please!"

"Okay!" Kenna laughs. "I'll stay!"

Her eyes meet Bash's eyes and he turns away. She continues to stare at him as Adrien talks about what he's been getting up to. Making sure he's entertained, Kenna's eyes never leave her husband.


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a week and she's nowhere close to getting divorced or sorting out Adrien's school. She agrees to keep him in French schooling until she works everything out.

She barely sees Bash as he's gone to Fontainebleau with Francis to check on their company. Diane informs her he would be back this evening as she cooks brunch.

"I've missed you," Diane admits softly. "And Adi, of course." She turns and grins at the child who smiles back before his drawing takes his attention once again.

Kenna is taken with surprise and she says, "I've missed you too, I guess."

Diane laughs. "You guess?" She teases. "I know we're not the best of friends and we've had a troubled past, but you're my grandson's mother."

The younger woman smiles a little. A little part of her is grateful for losing her child because Bash and she were on terrible terms, and she gained an ally in all of the drama. Although, the ache in her heart because of a lost child will forever haunt her.

Diane makes sure she's supported, that she's eating and drinking and okay. Kenna has her own mother for this although they're not on speaking terms regularly so Diane is a comfort to be around.

"I can't thank you enough for that night," Kenna tells her, placing a hand on the matriarch's shoulder. "And the nights after."

"Losing a baby is horrible," Diane says quietly so Adrien doesn't hear. "I lost a baby before Sebastian came along. You know I have two daughters before him, remember?"

Kenna nods in affirmation. "Yeah, with your ex-husband, Louis Brézé, who left you because of-"

"Henry, yes. And Bash, after finding out he was Henry's... After Francesca and Louise, I got pregnant for Louis," Diane starts, turning the first hob off and continuing to stir the second pot. "We had the nursery ready and everything until I woke up one night and didn't feel the baby moving. It was scary and after I lost it, I became so overprotective over the girls. I found comfort with Henry and ended up having another child five years after I lost my first little boy."

"I'm so sorry," Kenna whispers, squeezing Diane's shoulder.

"My husband was very upset. Asked why our son died yet, Bash - who was Henry's - survived," Diane says sadly. "What I'm trying to say is, women, protect each other because, men - they're scared. They leave when the tough gets going and I'll tell you something. My ex-husband and Sebastian are alike in many ways, I sometimes question Bash's paternity. If not for the evidence, the similarities are so uncanny. They both left their wives and disbelieved that their wives were carrying their children. Only, you were actually expecting Bash's baby."

Kenna understands where she's coming from. "Bash is Henry's right?"

"Oh, through and through." She waves her hand dismissively. "Sometimes it scares me," Diane admits. "Their eyes, their nose, their _smile_ even. Then their behaviour and personality... I know Henry's done bad things and he had my son mixed up in that but Sebastian is still a good man. A good man who does stupid things and hurts the woman he loves."

Diane turns all the hobs off and faces Kenna, placing her hands on the younger woman's cheeks. She wipes a few stray tears and gives her a comforting smile.

"I _know_ he loves you deep down in that cold heart of his. He's like a wall - there are many ways to break down a wall, you just need the right tool."

"Which is?"

"_You_." Diane smiles brightly. "You're the sledgehammer. Give it a try and knock a few bits off that stone wall around his heart."

Kenna shakes her head. "I'm with someone else, Diane. I'm sorry, Bash and I are over _for good_."

"If marriages are so easy to obtain, yet with divorces, there are so many hoops to get through, shouldn't that be a sign? Isn't there a reason for that? There's a lot of support and help out there for marriage woes, try them. Ask your solicitors for some therapy sessions to at least see if there's something to be salvaged. Try yourselves, just do whatever it takes and if it doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be."

"It's not me who needs convincing," Kenna mumbles bitterly. "I've just learnt to accept it."

Diane purses her lips. "Hmm hmm," she agrees. "Be the sledgehammer."

Kenna finally relents, giving Diane a tight hug as she sniffles. The woman was right, she was a wise woman after all and could judge people correctly.

"I will," Kenna confirms. "I'll try."

...

Kenna sets up a bottle of Bash's favourite wine and two glasses on the coffee table that evening. It's nearly eight and Adrien went to bed early with the promise of a bedtime story from his Meme.

Kenna smiles at the idea because Diane is such a sweet grandmother. Over time, the woman accepted Kenna as her son's wife and grandson's mother despite their past with Henry and now, the two were as thick as thieves.

She looks up when the front door opens and closes before Bash finally appears, shrugging off his suit jacket. He places his travel bag on the floor and takes in the bottle of wine and glasses.

"My favourite," he states, surprised. "You remembered."

"It's not been that long," Kenna says softly. "Want me to remind you what your favourite cheese is?"

Bash smiles, sitting down and patting the seat beside him. "Please, do. But before you tell me, why the change of heart?"

Kenna joins him, shrugging slightly. "Marriage is about compromise and working through issues together. I meant my vows, through the bad times and good, Bash. You never let me in and you kept pushing me away because you didn't know how to handle your emotions. Well, I'm here now and anything you say, good or bad, I won't take it too hard or misinterpret it."

"Does this mean that we're trying?"

"We're being friends first, Bash. I can't handle anything more right now," she replies quickly. "We used to be friends, let's go back to that."

He smiles, planting a kiss on the corner of her lips before opening the wine and pouring them both a glass. He gives one to her and clinks his with it.

"To friends."

"To friends," she repeats softly, sipping her wine. "Roquefort."

He grins. "Got it in one."

For hours, they talk about anything and everything. Kenna feels relieved because they haven't done this in _years_. Their laughter and smiles are genuine and they tease each other.

Maybe, this was what they needed. Instead of avoiding each other and arguing, they just needed a bottle of wine (or three) and a good, friendly chat.

Kenna winces every time she believes this too good to be true because one of them would say something, leading to a hostile conversation which is quickly shut down. They quickly ignore the tense moment and continue on, acting as if their little squabble didn't occur.

"I wish he had your eyes," Bash says thoughtfully as he inspects his wine level. "How many glasses are we up to? How many of these bloody wines do I even have?"

Kenna giggles, but disregards his questions about wine, saying, "Why? Why do you wish Adi had _my_ eyes? Your eyes are gorgeous. And green, with a blueish grey tint like the sea..."

"I know, I know," he mutters. "But I miss staring into your eyes sometimes and maybe, if he had them, it wouldn't hurt so much when you weren't there."

She almost spits her wine out, taking what he said for a joke opposed to sincerity. She swallows the liquid and forces him to stare into her eyes with a grin.

"Hello, there," she says slowly. "Does it hurt to see them now?"

"Tease," he says, leaning in slightly. "Just like chocolate."

She frowns slightly, wondering something. "What _is_ my favourite chocolate?"

Bash pauses, leaning back and taking another sip of his wine. His actions are enough to tell Kenna that he doesn't even remember. That he never took the time to know her fully.

_It's unfair_, she bitterly thinks. _I know him inside out, yet he doesn't even know one thing about-_

"Dark chocolate. You were addicted to the stuff when you were pregnant with Adi. Even when you weren't pregnant, you'd sneak some into your mouth when you thought no one was watching. You say you like the bitterness because since you're so sweet, you counteract the taste. That doesn't mean anything, but it's lovely to hear that," he suddenly tells her.

She's stunned. "Y-Yeah," she says dumbly.

"You're not even sweet," he teases her. "And if so, your tastebuds are just weird."

A giggle leaves her lips and she's laughing, being shushed by Bash so she doesn't awake Diane or Adrien up.

"They're perfectly fine," she argues lightly, hitting his shoulder.

She stops laughing when his finger brushes over her bottom lip. She blinks, taking a sharp intake of breath before she finds herself forcing her lips on his, pulling his body to hers.

"Ke-Kenna," he stutters, his lips reattaching to hers when she pulls him back to her. "Hmm, please-"

"Bash!" She cries out in frustration, letting him go. She runs a stressed hand through her hair and downs her wine. "You started it," she mutters darkly.

He groans. "I know, I'm sorry... I just couldn't help myself. I... I miss you but you're right. We keep jumping into things we're not ready for-"

"I'm not right all the time," she says lightly, trying to hide her embarrassment. "If you wanted a virgin..." She trails off, rolling her eyes because now, she's not even making any sense. What did her virginity have to do with anything? Oh yes, he took it.

She finishes her wine and clears her throat, standing up. She knows she'll have to sleep in another room. The room she was staying in was _their_ room and it had the best views of the gardens.

"I'm going to bed." She gives him a meek smile, but it disappears when she sees that he's not even looking at her.

He's staring at their third - nearly finished - bottle of wine and he just takes it and finishes it.

"Like it that much, you're just skipping the glass now?" She teases.

"Five minutes," he says huskily.

"What?" She asks in confusion, not picking up the tone of his voice.

He starts picking up the empty glasses and bottles, standing up. He turns to face her.

"I'll be up in five minutes. If you still..." He trails off, unsure.

She gasps. "Uh, yeah. Okay, see you in five."

She heads upstairs, checks on Adrien and goes to _their_ room. Over the years, it became _her_ room as he was barely in it. His side tended to be left cold and even made.

Starting to take her clothes off, she feels very nervous. It's been _ages_ since they were together and she wants this. Just as much as she needs this, to be a goodbye or something, she feels guilty.

Antoine comes into her mind and she wonders what he's doing right now. She isn't sure if he's faithful to her and she's tried being faithful to him. A couple of kisses with her estranged husband puts her on edge and she feels horrible because, during their marriage, he's done worse behind her back.

Before she can come to her senses, she is spun and her lips crash onto Bash's, a satisfied sigh coming from his lips.

Their kisses become fervent and desperate, her fingers knotting into his brown locks. She starts moving them to the bed, never breaking their lips apart.

She wonders how she can even breathe, but she doesn't care, finally parting when she falls onto the bed. She doesn't waste time in pulling him down with her.

Her breathing quickens. "You drive me crazy. I don't understand you-"

"Kenna," he breathes out, cutting her off. "Not now. _Please_."

She helps him unbutton his shirt. "Nuh uh," she whispers. "Yes, now."

"Fine."

"I need this more than you need this," she says. "Eight months ago, you didn't even want to touch me."

She moves onto the buckle of his belt, tears stinging her eyes.

"Adi saw everything and he was _traumatised_. You scared our son because you were being too stupid and stubborn to listen to me. You never do. Now, I say I want sex and you keel over and obey? You're hot and cold, Sebastian."

"You only call me that when you're mad," he grins a little, kissing her.

She glares at him, watching as he slips his trousers off. "I _am_ mad. But you've got me hot and bothered so I might as well put you into use. Especially as you're still my husband."

"How poetic," he replies teasingly, trailing kisses down her neck. "On our marital bed as well."

"Men really do think with their-"

She is silenced when his lips press against hers. She closes her eyes and pulls him closer, giving up her rant.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against her lips. "About everything. Scaring Adi, hurting you, being horrible... Give me a chance to make it up to you. This isn't just sex, Kenna..."

Although she will let him have tonight, they're toxic together and throwing themselves in the deep end will screw them over. She still has Antoine to think about. Does she even care about Antoine, if she's honest?

"Let's just leave it at tonight, yeah?" She requests, looking away from him a little. "Goodbye sex and that's it." She's breathing heavily as she stares into his eyes.

"Let's hope I put a baby in you, then. So it could be makeup sex," he jokes, kissing her.

She pulls away with a frown. "Bash, you wouldn't even want me if I got pregnant again. It will be just like last time." She sighs. "Bash, look at me," she says and when he does, she continues with, "A baby won't solve anything, you know that. I thought that last time and still lost it, damaging us even more. This is goodbye sex, nothing more."

He finally nods. He knows he's fighting a losing battle so he shuts up and leaves her lips, trailing kisses down her stomach. He moves to her legs and she laughs a little, remembering their past sexual endeavours.

"Twister sex," she says with a fond smile. "You always started with my legs."

"They were closer," he replies against her skin. "So smooth, sunkissed and bloody bendable."

"Thank my Year 8 gymnastics club," she quips. "Do you mind?" She asks, smirking down at him. "Moving up a little? Getting a bit impatient here."

As good as Antoine is, she will forever be comparing her partners, current and future, to her estranged husband. She couldn't deny his bedroom skills. He could always take her to euphoria and back a thousand times.

She gasps, letting out a breathy, "Wow."

Her hands clench the bed sheets.

...

Kenna jumps when Diane slams a book in front of her, casually walking over to the kitchen sink.

The younger woman picks it up, reads the title and looks up, tilting her head towards Diane.

"_'1001 Baby Names_'?" She questions. "Diane, last night was just _goodbye sex_ and nothing more. We're _not_ getting back together, but we will be civil and friends because of-"

"All this co-parenting malarky you see celebrities do," Diane cuts her off in distaste. "All lies. Co-parenting isn't always sunshine and lemon drops! I bet Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin aren't the best of friends they make out to be."

Kenna gasps. "Yes, they are! Not that I'm saying we will be as good as them in getting an amicable divorce, but still."

"_Last night_ didn't sound like _goodbye sex_. It sounded more like making up sex."

Kenna almost chokes on air and she sees Diane smile to herself at what she has just said.

"I've m-moved on, Diane. I'll go back to England for a while and return to see how Adi gets on."

"What happened to, trying and, being the sledgehammer?" Diane questions her, baffled.

Kenna sighs. "Well, I asked to be friends first. I guess he's trying if he surprises me with the little things like remembering what my favourite chocolate is. I'd rather talk first, stay in the shallow end of the swimming pool. We have a lot of toxicity that needs to be resolved first. Being friends and starting over is how we can deal with this without hurting Adi."

"I guess you're right."

"And I can't forget his words - the hurtful ones. And the time he kicked me out, saying he couldn't do this anymore... _Those_ memories are still with me, they happened in this very home and they're horrible and haunting. We did have a good time though. We talked and talked and talked through the night before-"

"The makeup sex."

Kenna sends her mother-in-law a stern glare before saying, "Before we finally got along and were in a good place. We also talked through some of our issues and resolved them, however that won't be enough to save a marriage as broken as this one is. It didn't work for you and your ex-husband."

"No," Diane admits. "I just want Bash to be happy." She turns and sits beside Kenna. "I also want _you_ to be happy. Both of you being happy means that your little boy can be happy and not worry if his father is going to push his mother away. That's always been Bash's issue, to deal with things physically and head on, he never observes the situation. He's more like, shoot first and ask questions later."

"He's never been violent with me. I'm sure he never meant for me to fall that badly. I was already on the ground," Kenna defends him and she can tell Diane truly believes her words herself.

The older woman smiles sadly. "I know Bash. He may not hurt a fly but what's a man compared to a thing a thousand times smaller than he is? My son's past with women, even before Mary, hasn't been the best. Every ex-girlfriend or lover of his complains that he's too guarded, too blunt, too emotionally stunted. Until _you_."

"What about me?" Kenna frowns.

"You've never minded, you accepted those things about him," Diane explains. "I think the situation between me, my ex-husband and Henry messed him up. I don't want my grandson to be as spiteful and complicated as his father is. I adore Sebastian, but I _know_ he can be overbearing and a bit extreme. He's never learnt any better, the father figures he had left or were barely even there, to begin with. I did my best, there's only so much a mother can do to raise her son without his father."

Kenna notices that Diane scratches at a scar on her wrist and she gently takes the woman's hand to observe the line. Frowning, she asks, "What happened?"

Diane tuts a little. "Henry was violent. Sometimes I fear Bash would end up like him. So far, so good, he's showing no signs of becoming the man Henry was or _is_. I've not seen the man in years since he returned to Catherine Medici. The trysts Henry and I had, all messed up in different ways and all violent and extreme. He had me fearing for my life at times. It started off as little things, like a shove to the ground or into the wall, but then, I had bruises due to him gripping too hard and..."

"You don't have to tell me," Kenna says softly, tears springing to her eyes.

"Did Henry hurt you in any way? When you were-"

"Just a little bedroom antics, nothing serious," Kenna quickly gets out, blushing furiously.

Diane laughs a little. "Good. I'd rather you save those _kinks_ for someone who is safe with them. Like-"

"Don't mention Bash," Kenna moans.

"You said his name, not me," says Diane with a grin. "Anyway," she sobers up. "I was hospitalised a few times. I learnt from Francis, after overhearing him and Bash, that Catherine had been subject to Henry's unfavourable ways."

Kenna swallows deeply. This man had come into her home, pressed himself onto her as his grandchild was in the other room. He seriously had no boundaries, wanting to sleep with his son's wife. The idea of the Valois patriarch sickens her, makes her stomach churn.

"As I say," continues Diane. "Sebastian is a good man undoubtedly with a difficult past and I would never want him to become his father. That wretched man may have even passed his illness onto my boy. Just give him time. Time mends hearts."

Kenna takes all of this in, nodding in understanding. She gets everything and she agrees. Even though she agrees, she keeps her guard up in her heart, shielding it with a wall she's known her husband has around his.

"_Baby_ steps," Diane teases, picking up the book.

"If I have a baby in nine months, Diane I'm blaming you for willing it upon me," Kenna tells her with a point of her finger.

Despite the jests and the moment she and Diane are having now, she can't shrug off the fact that she wasn't the only one to not mind her husband's personality...

...

_Six Years Ago_

"You look so beautiful, Kenna," Lola said, beaming happily.

Kenna giggled, showing off her wedding dress. "I can't believe I'm getting married!"

"Well, you better believe it!" Greer told her. "He only proposed last week!"

"Where's Mary?" Aylee suddenly asked, looking around. "Isn't the Matron of Honour meant to place adoring words into the bride's ear too?"

Kenna frowned, but she decided to ignore Mary's whereabouts, accepting help from Lola to get off the pedestal.

"Are my parents here?" She asked them.

"Yeah," Greer replied worriedly. "But they're sitting at the back with your younger siblings."

Kenna faltered a little. "So, they're ashamed basically? Or embarrassed-"

"I'm sure that's not it!" Aylee quickly said. "The Valois-Poitiers family are a pretty powerful family, Kenna. I think your parents are just upset that this is more like a transaction deal. Your mother told my mother that she wishes you married for love and not the sake of money. By money, she meant your family's money becoming your husband's family's money."

"I _am_ marrying for love though!"

"It is a little too soon. You've barely dated for a full year," Lola said. " We all know that Sebastian is a good man, but his dad isn't. We just want you to be safe."

"And we all know he's strung up on Mary. Kenna, you're too beautiful and smart to be a rebound," Greer added.

"We need you to guard your heart," Aylee finished.

Kenna sighed. "He loves me, I know that. He told me that he and Mary were done. He told me that he loves me!"

She excused herself to the loo, however, she headed towards the groom's suite for some reassurance from her groom. She hoped he wasn't as nervous as she was.

When she got to the door, she halted and pressed her ear to it when she heard two familiar voices.

"I still love you, Mary," Bash said, almost a whisper.

"I thought you were over me?" Mary asked him.

"I lied." Came his reply. "Now, I'm marrying a woman I barely know who loves me with all her heart. She doesn't understand me like you do, doesn't feel the same way you do-"

"I swear," Mary snapped. "If you break Kenna's heart, you'll _never_ have anything to do with me again. I'm with Francis, _your brother_. I love him, we are having a family-"

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes," Mary confessed, her voice strained. "We're happy, Bash. Don't ruin my marriage nor yours."

His voice is almost a whisper as he said, "I should never have come back. Never have accepted the deal with my father and Francis. This is all to help Henry, even you were a business deal, Mary! I've tried to escape my father, I'm not good when I'm around him and I truly believed you could have helped me, be by my side."

"Then leave," Mary's harsh reply came. "Marry Kenna and as much as it hurts me to say this, take her to France. Or to Sweden - she loves Sweden. Anywhere and start a life together! I will miss her so much, but if this protects you _and her_ from Henry, do this."

"And you and Francis? With this new baby?"

"Just stay concerned about your brother, I'm not your keeper."

"I love-"

"I hope to the God we serve, the next person you say that to is your _wife_."

Kenna backed away and hurried back to the bridal suite, shaking violently. She felt sick, horrified and maybe, her parents were right. Maybe, her dearest friends were right, too.

She looked down at her wedding dress, as white and pure as her christening gown from when she was a baby. The feeling to rip it and scissor it up compels her but she keeps her composure.

"Kenna?"

She turned around and saw her Matron of Honour, planting a fake smile on her face.

"There you are, Mary! The girls are singing adoring compliments over me, we need you to join."

Mary laughed, nodding as she linked their arms. "Oh, my dear stunning best friend, you put all the other brides today to shame!"

And for a minute, Kenna believed that Bash and Mary were never a thing. But only for a minute as when she said her vows before God, their friends and families, she stared into Bash's eyes and saw nothing for her.

It broke her heart, but she won't let Mary nor Henry win.

...

_Present Day_

"You're wrong," she suddenly says. "He always let Mary in."

Diane is caught in surprise as she replies, "But Kenna, you have his name and our family ring."

Kenna stares at Diane's mother's ring on her ring finger, never having the heart to take it off even during their divorce proceedings. It wasn't expensive, it was _priceless_ and she loved its beauty.

"Here," Kenna says, giving Diane the ring back. "I'm going to get some morning-after pills-"

"Kenna, please."

"Just a precaution," Kenna snaps. "I don't want _his_ baby in case he insists it's another man's. Perhaps, Francis will be in the running this time!"

Diane looks up. "It seems that Mary is always the root of your anger."

"Diane, on our wedding day, Bash told Mary he still loved her and that he didn't love me. Yet, a week before when he proposed, he said he loved _me_."

"That must have been horrible to learn on your big day."

"You think?" Kenna scoffs. "Now, I know why he blames me for getting us to move here. Because _Mary_ offered. Her words count for something, mine never do! They could have had our lives destroyed if Henry found out. Guess whose life is getting destroyed right now? _Mine_. There's a chance I could lose my son, Diane! And Mary and Francis get their happy little ending. All because Bash didn't love me."

Diane nods. "And here I am trying to fix this so you're all protected, but you're right, the damage is done. Henry is unstable, he's already having your every move watched, God knows what else he can do."

"I'd rather die than give up anything that's mine," Kenna replies. "Adrien's _mine_."

Diane is about to speak when the doorbell rings. Giving Kenna a look that their conversation is far from over, the younger woman heads to the door.

She's taken by dumbfoundedness when Catherine is behind it with her children that come after Francis as well as Mary, John, James and Anne.

"Qui est là?" Diane calls out in French, standing up and tightening her robe belt and fixing her raven locks. She wasn't expecting any visitors.

"Ah, Diane!" Catherine calls out, smiling widely. "Comment allez-vous? Did you miss me?"

Diane gasps. "Catherine."


	8. Chapter 8

The atmosphere is awkward at the de Poitiers home. The kids do not sense it, Adrien playing with his cousins happily as the older kids watch TV, attending to the younger ones and the adults settle themselves in the dining room.

"What brings you here?" Diane asks, confidence in her words as she sits elegantly at the head of the table. "It's been a while."

"Diane, I know we are not friends although, I hope you can help me and my children."

Diane's eyes fill up in concern. "Why? What happened?"

Mary clears her throat. "Henry... Henry kicked us all out. Francis is trying to sort out the situation and we didn't want to call Bash since he literally returned home to you."

"It's true?" Diane whispers. "He's truly sick."

"On the verge of being sanctioned," Catherine admits. "He hurt little Henri, I fear for my children's lives. Even leaving Francis with him, I'm terrified."

Kenna can't believe what she's hearing. The fearless Catherine Medici is terrified and now, she sees the usually brave matriarch tired and distressed.

"I know things," Catherine begins. "That can bring Henry down and send him away for life, but I can't do that. Not to our children and not to you both."

She points at Kenna and Diane who both frown at her in confusion.

"Bash is caught up in this whole mess and so is Francis. What I say can put them both in hot water. Henry almost tried to kill me," the woman confesses. "If I say my piece to the authorities, the business is destroyed and Francis and Bash are arrested and condemned beside their father."

"What is my husband tied up in exactly?" Kenna demands, surprising Diane and Mary. "Has he killed someone?" She pointedly asks.

Catherine swallows. "You know about Marcus-"

"Not from his lips - Henry's. Henry visited me in England, wanted to take me whilst my son, his grandson, was in the other room. He's destroyed my life from the minute he met me, if he has anything on Bash, I need to know. He's Adrien's father, I can't let my son grow up without him."

"Henry doesn't fail to surprise me," Catherine replies. "I knew he went to England to see you. What did you give him that was so good when you were sixteen, hmm?"

Kenna falters. "I was a child who had issues. I've grown up, I've paid for my mistakes - my marriage failing is one of them. I hold my hands up, but Henry can still hurt me and my son for things Bash has done."

"Kenna, we're all tired so why don't we continue this later after we've eaten and rested, hmm? We left on a whim," Catherine says with a soft sigh. "I need a long bath and a bottle of Merlot."

"I'll get someone to help you," Diane replies softly, standing up to wake their housekeepers.

"They're not on standby twenty-four seven?" Catherine asks baffled.

Diane shakes her head. "I do most things myself. Having them around is more or less for my company."

She leaves them and Kenna turns away when Mary looks at her. Her friend can feel the tense air between them and she gets upset quickly.

"What have I done now, Kenna?"

"Nothing," Kenna replies shrilly. "I'm just frustrated about the situation we're in."

She doesn't let Mary know about what she heard on the day she and Bash married, she's never confessed to that. Why was she going to do so now?

"We all are," Catherine cuts in, standing up. "I'll check on the children."

As she leaves, Mary shifts closer to Kenna and takes the woman's hands, squeezing them.

"Tell me the truth, you're angry with me. And you always will be, even if you're with Bash or not," Mary says gently. "I can't lose you, please, Kenna."

"I heard you both on my wedding day," Kenna finally confesses. "I know you told Bash to take me far away, to France or Sweden, that's why he's resented me for asking that we live here." She gestures around the house. "Because of you, I'm not _you_. You're quick to defend me and I appreciate that because you're loyal to me at least, but once, you were only loyal to yourself. Not even to Francis, Mary."

"Kenna, I'm sorry," Mary whispers, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Bash calls me selfish all the time, but he is the one who is selfish! And you were too! Every flaw I have, he picks apart because I wasn't you. He didn't accept my flaws, he highlighted them and judged me for them."

Mary sighs. "He loves you, Kenna."

"And how do you know that?" Kenna asks her, clearly disbelieving.

"He called Francis this morning, but as he was dealing with Henry, I answered the call. Before I could even speak to let him know it was me, he quickly told who he thought was Francis that you guys might get back together. He was so happy, saying that you had sex last night and how much he missed you. I think he was crying tears of joy," Mary reveals. "I gave the phone to Francis and told him what Bash said before he could realise he confessed his sex life to _me_. God, Kenna, he's crazy about you."

Kenna is taken back, she doesn't know what to say or feel. She says, "I told him last night was goodbye and nothing more."

"Apparently not," Mary teases softly. "It seemed you took him to Heaven and back again many times. I'm glad he didn't go in detail otherwise I'd have images of you in my head!"

They giggle and Kenna hugs Mary tightly, apologising for being off with her. Mary understands, of course, she does. Little, sweet Mary Stuart always understood everything.

"At this point, I know your body better than I know my own," Mary continues to jest, receiving a smack to her arm. "You're the mother of his child and his second love, be happy Kenna."

"I was going to take the morning after pill," Kenna admits quietly so only Mary could hear. "But after hearing that, I may have God take the lead. If I'm pregnant, that could help us right?"

Mary shrugs. "Children aren't always the answer, look at Adrien. But, it's a step."

"Baby steps."

"Yeah," Mary says with a smile. "Who knows? Maybe you and Greer can have a joint baby shower-"

"You know?!"

Mary giggles, nodding. "She apologised for telling you first, but she called me up and told me before telling Lola. I promise, Kenna, from now on, things are only going to get better."

...

"Let's do this," Kenna tells Bash as they overlook the gardens from their balcony. "I've had some insight, I've prayed, I've cried... Let's make this work."

Bash turns to her, his green eyes lighting up as he kisses her softly. "We've got a full house. Catherine has never stepped into this house."

Kenna laughs. "She didn't seem to mind. It's like the ghosts of your father's past ganging up on him."

"What about Antoine?"

"He texted me earlier... Says he didn't want to be second best. That and he's spoken to Jeanne... I think there's something still there."

"Well, I don't mean this, but good luck to him," Bash replies. "Because I've got you back."

Kenna shakes her head. "Nuh uh. I'm not property to be owned, Sebastian," she teases. "I'm my own woman. This time, we do better."

"I know there's a lot of people downstairs, most of them are my siblings, but I really want you in that bed." He nudges his head over to their bed.

She laughs. "Lock the door, then."

At dinner, although they don't sit together, Kenna sends Bash longing looks which don't go unnoticed around the table.

"Someone's getting some," Claude calls out, making the matriarchs glare at her in disappointment. "What? They can't stop eye-"

"Finish that sentence, I dare you," Catherine tells her. "You may be in your twenties, but I can still give you a spanking."

Claude laughs, sipping her wine. "So, am I right? Are you both back together? Can the longing looks and drama revolving Kennash stop?"

Kenna laughs as Bash rolls his eyes, sipping his own wine. "Kennash?" She questions.

"Your ship name," Henrietta explains as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah," Emone adds. "Don't you know what a ship name is?"

"Hey," Mary calls out. "We're not that old! I'll have you know, our childhood had better things than yours."

"Like what?" Emone asks.

"Hannah Montana!" Kenna says. "Lizzie Maguire, High School Musical..."

"Ew," Henrietta says. "Old stuff."

The women gasp, sharing a look with a just as surprised Claude.

"I'll have you know, little sisters," Claude says. "I share a childhood with them! Hannah Montana was the greatest thing ever!"

"If you say so," Henrietta sings, shaking her head with Emone.

"All of you are wrong," Bash pipes up. "Pokémon was the greatest thing ever. And it's still relevant."

"But as a terrible version, though," Kenna replies, cringing. "Sun & Moon what? What about Black & White? The original movies? No, _those_ are the only reason this new one is relevant."

"True," Mary agrees. "Wait, how did we get from your love life to Pokémon?"

Everyone laughs, the children baffled at what was happening. Kenna never understood why they couldn't have moments like these. Just chilling with the whole family, other than Diane, speaking about anything and everything.

Having a madman in the family united it, it seemed.


	9. Chapter 9

Although they are sort of back together, Kenna still wants things to be slow. She laughs as she accepts that they can have all the sex they want, but everything else has to be taken slow.

She's surprised by flowers, gifts and kisses every morning and she wonders why he never did this before. She never brings that up, not wanting to start an argument.

It's overcrowded in their home, despite it being big enough to house all of them in different wings. She doesn't mind Mary nor the kids there, but she does mind Catherine and her children.

As when Mary returns home to England with her children, she can't act as a buffer during awkward situations with the Medici woman. Kenna is only Catherine's stepdaughter-in-law.

The day she has been dreading arrives and she heads downstairs with Mary's last suitcase.

"Get home safely. I'll be around next week," she says, hugging Mary. She then hugs the boys and Anne too. "You guys had fun with Adrien, right?"

"Yes, Auntie Kenna," Anne replies sweetly.

Kenna watches as the kids hug Adrien goodbye. She laughs when he begs them not to go.

As he does, Mary takes Kenna to the side. She brushes her friend's hair out of her face before saying, "I know things have been going really well for you and Bash, but be careful, Kenna."

"I know," Kenna says, nodding. "It seems too good to be true and we're taking things slow. I'm just waiting for the punchline and to learn that it's all a dream or worse, a lie."

"I'm sure that's not the case," Mary replies. "One minute, you were getting divorced and living in different countries, the next, you're having sex like your life depends on it."

Kenna snorts a little. "I know." She sighs. "It's crazy. We've talked through _some_ things however, huge stuff still remains. Like the baby and his not-so-secret affairs. I don't want to ruin things, but I feel like I have to."

"You need to get through the storm to get to the rainbow," Mary tells her. "Adrien starts school in a few days and you really need to sort out your life. You and Bash may act like this is the honeymoon period and sleep with each other all you want, but you can't forget the past. Henry, me, the affairs and the miscarriage... Be smart, Kenna."

"I will," Kenna says, hugging her friend tightly. "Say 'hi' to Francis for me, yeah?"

"Yeah," Mary says softly, pulling away. "Sex doesn't fix a broken marriage, Kenna - I learnt that the hard way, trust me."

Kenna trusts Mary's words. Her mind strays over to a time when she and Bash had Francis staying with them following a huge argument with Mary.

He had blamed Mary for having an affair with Louis Bourbon just before Anne was born and when Anne came out with his blonde curls, he took back every doubt and every word he had against his wife.

"What's with our husbands believing that we're fucking their cousins?" Kenna asks Mary to which the woman bursts out in laughter.

"Jesus, Kenna! And well, you did kind of fuck Antoine so-"

Kenna winces. "Don't remind me. He's the only other guy I've ever been with for sex. I kept comparing him to Bash, God, I felt horrible!"

"Poor you having the taste of a Spaniard," Mary jests, rubbing her back. "Well, here I go. I love you and I can't wait to see you next week."

"Same. Love you, too," Kenna replies, hugging her one last time before Mary rounds up her children and leaves.

As she waves their car down the driveway to the gates, she turns around and heads back inside.

Mary is right, sex doesn't fix a broken marriage.

...

"Sebastian," Kenna calls out, gesturing for him to follow her outside.

"Oh, God. What have I done now?" He asks with a smirk, following her.

She playfully rolls her eyes and leads him to the gazebo that Diane had built when she first arrived in Paris. It's made from mahogany and Kenna remembers the time she used to spend in it, watching the sunset behind the trees.

They sit and Bash leans back. "Yeah?"

"Bash, although these days have been wonderful, we have to talk about what made us break apart in the first place," she says softly. "I can't deny, your hurtful words still ring in my ears-"

"I've tried to make you forget them," he says and he's on his knees in front of her, gripping her hands. "I want you to forget them. I was in a bad place-"

"And what if you get into another bad place, hmm? What does that mean for Adi and me? Would we have to fly to another country to escape you again? _Sweden,_ this time?"

Bash blinks in surprise. "You're still using that against me? It's been _six_ years!"

"Six years doesn't erase everything, Sebastian," she snaps. "Just listen, yeah? We need to talk things through. I know you're not good with talking about emotions and shit, but I need you to be! I need you to be my knight in shining armour and listen to me."

He nods. "Okay, you're right." He gets up and makes himself comfortable beside her, sighing heavily.

She clears her throat. "Do you love me, Bash? Like really head over heels in love? Breathe me in every single day love? The only one you want to make love with?"

"Yes, of course. I love you more than I love myself if I'm honest," he replies, somewhat sadly.

She frowns at this. "Bash?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you mean by that?"

He shrugs. "Kenna, I know my mother told you about the tragedy that is our lives. She cheated on her ex-husband and he thought I was his. I never truly had a father, Henry was more or less a passing whim. He never truly cared, just threw money at me. As I got older and closer with Francis, he realised that he _did_ have to pay me some attention. He almost ruined it by having me run against Francis for the position of CEO for the company. Francis didn't want it and neither did I, I didn't need anything of Henry's - I was my own man."

"Yet, you did his dirty work?" She asks under her breath.

He turns to her, nodding. "He's still my father. His blood runs in me and I did want to know the love a father had for his son. I was stupid to not realise that the only person Henry Valois loved was himself."

"I'm sorry you don't give yourself enough credit," Kenna says disapprovingly. "I understand you loving Adi more than yourself, don't put me on the pedestal. You're worth it, Henry is nothing compared to you. You're so much better, kinder and you do love other people."

"You see," Bash starts. "This is why I love you because you understand me."

"And Mary?"

He knows that was coming. Everything turned back to her anyway. He knows how to respond because he believes it.

"Mary doesn't understand me. Not like you do."

"You said I only cared about myself."

"I did, yes. At one point before we were married, I truly believed that you were the most selfish woman in the world. I couldn't have said that to your face because I hadn't met every woman in the world," he replies. "I thought you were spoilt. As I got to know you, I understood that you didn't only care for yourself - you cared for the people you loved. Your friends, your siblings, your parents and most importantly, Adi. When you arrived at the hospital, I saw your eyes. You looked as if your whole world had collapsed around you... You're the least selfish person I know. I'm sorry it took me this long to realise and that I didn't bother to know that before."

She kisses him, not knowing how to respond to that and as quick as the kiss came, she pulls apart.

"Right answer," she breathes out lightly. "For every right answer, you get a kiss."

He laughs. "That isn't how this works, Kenna."

"Hmm, I know," she says, sobering up. "Rowan."

"Rowan..."

"She was before your father's illness, wasn't she?" Kenna asks, already knowing the answer.

Bash nods. "Rowan was my first. Delphine came after her, but yeah... I loved her before Mary. Or I believed I loved her. She moved, her family travelled a lot and when she came to work as a PA for one of the managers at the company, we got reacquainted. She and I used to go hunting in the woods behind the gardens. My mother would freak out when we got back after twelve at night. She was exciting, fun and exactly like me. We were too similar so we ended things because I realised that I couldn't be with someone as headstrong as I was."

"Oh," Kenna mumbles, surprised at his answer.

"She was my first time, Kenna. I know you know about my sex past, but Rowan was my first proper girlfriend and she took my virginity. When she found out I was married, she felt so bad - that's why she told you, I guess."

Kenna rolls her eyes. This time, it's not playful. "Or she knew she would hurt our marriage so I'd leave you and she'd have you. Henry told me about her visiting when Adi and I moved to England."

Bash winces. "Yeah, we did sleep with each other a couple of times. It wasn't like you weren't with Antoine-"

"Antoine came many months after you ended things," Kenna retorts. "Rowan was the minute Adrien and I left the house!"

"Technically, it was a week-"

"I don't want to calibrate the exact date you fucked another woman, Bash," Kenna snaps. "Were you that pleased to see me go? How can I learn that and for you not to expect my doubts for you being in love with me?"

Bash looks up to reach her eyes, brushing her hair from them as the wind picks up. "I'm sorry. I was upset, I got drunk and called her up."

"You were the one who ended things and kicked me out."

"I know. I was too ashamed to call you back. I was angry with myself, hated myself for doing that to you and Adrien, but it was too late."

She glares at him, tears springing to her eyes. "Too late?" She repeats. "I called you _every day_. You never picked up. I gave you a chance, I wanted you to give _me_ a chance. I had to explain everything."

"Now, you can. I'm listening," Bash tells her, taking her hands. "The 'me' then and the 'me' now are different, Kenna."

She scoffs lightly. "I... I don't even think I want to tell you, Bash... I was so traumatised!"

"Let's start off gently, then. Antoine. Tell me about your relationship."

"There was nothing between us, that's the thing, Sebastian! You were sleeping with Rowan and Antoine and I talked because he understood where I was coming from. We were support systems for each other, he tried getting me to fix things with you sometimes! He began falling for me and the kiss happened. I felt sick and guilty even though I _knew_ I shouldn't have been because you did much worse behind my back and never told me. I still went home to you, to try and explain, but you let him get into your head with the picture of him kissing me. Not me kissing him or responding to the kiss. That was him kissing me."

Bash stands, crossing his arms and looking towards the sunset. He looks away and clears his throat, sniffling.

She can tell he's close to tears, but she doesn't care. She continues, "I've told you this, I contemplated leaving you. Way before Antoine came into the picture. No, this was before we got married. Then, on our wedding day, I overheard you and Mary."

He gasps, turning to her. "What?"

"Yeah," she says, nodding. She's got him. "I wanted to leave you at the altar, Bash." She's crying now. "You told her you loved _her_ on _my_ big day! I had every right to leave. You had me fooled when you proposed. You hesitated, I realise now. You hesitated in telling me that you loved me and it took Mary telling you that she was pregnant with James and happy with Francis for you to choose me. As we said our vows, I stared into your eyes and saw nothing. Nothing was there for me."

"Why did you go through with it?"

Kenna shrugs. "Because as much as it hurt watching you love another woman, it hurt, even more, being apart from you!"

"I'm so sorry I put you through that. I did tell you that I was a horrible person-"

"It's not an excuse! You said I disgusted you? _You_ disgusted me that day!"

He bows his head, starting to walk away, but he stops and turns around to face her.

"I fell in love with you, Kenna. I fell _hard_. When Adrien was about to be born, I found myself questioning how I fell in love with a strong woman like you. How you were so beautiful giving birth to our little boy. How proud you made me," he says. "I wanted a life with you, I did, I swear! Every time we made love, I only ever saw you. God, when we were apart, I craved for you. Your fingers, your touch - I just wanted nothing other than my wife's touch."

"But you didn't want to touch me or be touched by me," she argues. "Guess having a baby changed things. Or not being Mary."

"That was just me being the arsehole I am, Kenna," Bash replies, ignoring her comment about being Mary. "I have issues that I need to sort out, I know that. Most of them come from my family - I should never have let them affect us."

She nods. "You shouldn't have."

He's by her side now, holding her hands again. "I love you and I will keep telling you that until the day I die. Not Rowan, not Delphine or even Mary - _you_. Kenna Beaton or Kenna Poitiers, I love you."

She blinks in surprise and slowly nods. "Okay," she breathes out.

"I'll keep apologising until you forgive me, Kenna. Don't push me away, I can't lose you. The only one who gives a shit even when we're apart."

Kenna blushes. During the months they were separated, she never ceased to ask Francis about him. Even when Francis told her Bash had a bout of man flu, she was still ready to hop on a plane and be there for him before she reminded herself and Francis that she was his wife in name only. She did receive a bitter text - about a wife being the only one to care as it was her duty to - after and she guessed that Francis had told Bash about her concern.

"_'It's a wife's duty to care_'," she says quietly. "That was the text, word for word, that you sent me regarding the time you had the flu at the end of February."

"As I've said, I'm a shit person and I was still upset. In hindsight, I should never have sent that. Regardless of our problems, you're still my son's mother and I respect you."

She looks away. "You're the shittiest person in the world." She turns to him now. "But you're _my_ shitty person."

He laughs, leaning his head against her thighs as she laces her fingers in his hair.

"When I found out I was pregnant again, I hoped that we could try again, that we could be happy," she starts. "I was so excited to tell you, but you avoided me. Then, the excitement that we were expecting left me and I felt dead inside. At times, I forgot that I was pregnant because I was making myself sick with worry at where you were, what were you doing and if you were hurt... I prayed to God to end my suffering."

"Oh, Kenna..." He whispers, looking up.

"A month later, Renaude asked me to stay behind. I did, thinking nothing about it. Next thing I know, he wants to... in the staffroom and I froze. I felt scared, I couldn't get him off because he was too strong. He kept pressing me into the counter, my stomach was hunched over, digging into..." Her sobs leave her lips and she's brought into Bash's chest, being soothed.

"You don't have to-"

"I do, you will never let me get this out and I need to," she tells him. "I have to. To move on." She swallows deeply. "So, he had me pressed into the counter, his hands were everywhere and he said he had wanted me for a long time. That you wouldn't be there to protect me."

Bash sighs. "Then, Francis saved you."

"Yeah. If he hadn't, Renaude would have had his way and broken me completely. More than I already was. Adi wouldn't have had a mother anymore."

"Don't say that Kenna, you're strong."

She scoffs. "I'm not... Anyway, a week later, when Delphine looked through my bag and told you, I wanted to just shrivel up and die because I knew I was losing the baby. I knew Renaude killed our baby when he pushed me into the counter. You were so horrible, a part of me wanted to say that Antoine was the father or that I was glad to be losing your baby because I couldn't have brought a life into a family like ours. We were fucked up, Bash." She pushes him away, hurt in her eyes. "You told me that was a lesson for being unfaithful, but the thing is, I was never unfaithful. I believe my miscarriage was a lesson for _you_ from God."

A part of her regrets starting this conversation now and she notices that it has got darker. The moon is up and the garden lights are on.

He stands up, leaving her touch as he stares off into the distance, noticing the change of time. He shivers, goosebumps prickling his skin as he rubs his arms to get warmth in them in the cool Summer air.

She crosses her arms and brings her legs underneath her, getting more comfortable on the seat. They will be here a while.

"I don't blame you," he finally says, his voice strained. "I don't blame you for wishing that a man - who treated you better than I, your husband, did - was the father nor for wanting our baby to go. I was cruel and all I saw was red..."

She studies him and she can tell that he is hurting a lot. She wants to console him, but half of her doesn't even give a shit. She laughs to herself a little.

"If you're in my head, right now, you wouldn't like me," she tells him, shaking her head. "I'm contemplating hugging you and kissing you. But seeing you hurt just as much as I did then and right now, I really don't give a shit to how you feel."

"That's fair, I deserve that," he says.

She smiles. "Yeah, I guess we're done here."

"Can we kiss and have makeup sex now?" He asks lightly, making her laugh. "God, you're so beautiful."

She gives him a sad smile. "It feels weird hearing you say that now, especially what I've got used to you saying. Just seven months ago, I was disgusting, in your eyes."

"You're never going to let me forget that, aren't you?" He asks her, rubbing her cheek.

She shakes her head. "No. Whenever we argue, I'll use it against you. You were warned," she admits. "Let's go inside. Play with Adi some more if he isn't already in bed."

They've just missed him, Catherine tells them. Claude had petted the boy to sleep as everyone had given the couple space to talk.

Kenna thanks Claude when she comes down the stairs and the half-sister of her husband shrugs her off, saying that Adrien is a cute kid.

Heading upstairs, Diane stops the couple and informs Kenna that she has a visitor.

"I don't know who he is, I've never seen him before," Diane explains as she leads Kenna and Bash to the front door.

When they arrive, Kenna gasps in shock.

"Douglas?"

Her half-brother looks up and gives a familiar, small smile. "Mckenna. It's been too long, little sister."


	10. Chapter 10

**Replies to reviews:**

**Not so much as replies! More of thanks so much for the support :) This story was made on a whim, nothing like I've attempted before and I do plan on making a Frary one - maybe linking with this story, who knows. Thanks, guys! Right, now we're fixing some of Kenna's relationships, especially with her family. It will be a few chapters until we see Henry again. Stay tuned!**

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Kenna asks her brother. "Have you been in contact with our parents, with Alexander?"

Douglas shakes his head. "I've been travelling, sis. I got into contact with Greer, she gave me your address, only, it's your former slash current one?" He teases her.

"I live in England," Kenna admits. "But I'm staying here because of my son."

Her brother takes a deep intake of breath. "Son, wow. I've not been a part of your life in _years_."

"Neither has Alexander," she says quietly. "You both just left and never looked back."

"I joined the Army, Kenna. I don't know for Alex."

She glances at him. "He hates us calling him 'Alex', 'Xand' or 'Xander'," she says. "Maybe he just hates us."

"I doubt that," Dougie tells her. "I'm back, aren't I? Over a decade late, I'm still here now."

Kenna notices the crowd gathering by the archway, acting as if they're not listening to her conversation. She chuckles softly, inviting them inside.

She notices that it's just Bash, Diane, Catherine and Claude.

"Who is this handsome man?" Claude asks her, sitting beside Douglas with her hand out for him to shake. "Claude Valois," she introduces herself.

"Beaton," Douglas tells her, shaking her hand. "Douglas Beaton. Friends and family call me 'Dougie'. Mckenna was always so formal though."

He looks her way and she smiles a little. "Sorry, I always thought it sounded like people calling you a dog. I wanted to save you from that humiliation."

"We never saw you at the wedding," Catherine states inquisitively.

"As I was telling my half-sister, I was in the Army. I've served two tours and I was honourably discharged," Douglas explains. "I joined when I was eighteen, higher education wasn't for me."

"What happened?" Kenna asked. "Why were you discharged?"

Douglas pulls up his right trouser leg. "Lost a leg, sis." He smiles wryly making the women wince and Bash intrigued. "I was badly affected since then. I had the worst phantom pains, I was depressed... So, they relieved me of my service and I went travelling. I was really disheartened for a while, but going around the world was good. I've ended up in France and I just began thinking about you and our family. It must have been a sign when Greer told me you were here, too."

"Speaking of Greer, how do you still have her number?" Kenna asks, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Oh, and I'm sure you're just as handsome without your right leg."

Dougie laughs. "Thanks, sis. And I like to remain friends with all my exes. Wasn't surprised to hear she moved on to Leith when I left. I don't think I was ever coming back."

Kenna's heart sinks and she lets out a small gasp. "Did you think you were going to die?"

"I've had mates die in service, Mckenna. It's not unusual," Douglas replies. "I was one of the lucky ones and not a day goes by that I don't think about the people I served with. Dead and alive."

"I'm guessing Greer caught you up on our lives then?" She moves the conversation along, noticing that Diane and Catherine have settled into their own conversation.

Douglas nods. "She's married and not to Leith," he says, laughing. "When she told me who her husband was, I nearly keeled over! The man's bloody rich and now, they're expecting their eighth child? Jesus, Kenna."

"I know!" She laughs. "Well, her third kid and his eighth. What else did she say?"

"Aylee's gone, sorry about that. She was a great person," he says.

"Hmm, she was."

He continues, "Lola's engaged. What is with them and older guys? Oh, Little Mary Stuart got her blonde Prince Charming! God, I remember when she would follow me around as kids."

"At least she's not asking you to be her Prince Charming anymore," Kenna says, grinning.

"God, she even wanted me to dye my hair blonde! Bloody hell!" Douglas laughs.

Kenna gestures to Bash. "He's the half-brother to Prince Charming. And that's Francis's younger sister and Bash's half-sister, Claude," she says, Bash nodding in affirmation and Claude giving him a wink. "In fact, there's Prince Charming's mother too!"

Catherine looks up at Douglas and raises her wine glass before turning back to Diane and continuing their conversation.

Douglas turns to face Bash, narrowing his eyes as he studies him. He then nods and turns back to his sister.

"I'm guessing same father, different mothers?" Douglas grins.

"Only because his mother's the woman talking to Charming's mother," Kenna says, laughing.

Douglas takes in the information before making himself comfortable on the sofa. "What am I going to do with you, Mckenna?" Dougie asks. "I'm not surprised. You went through guys like a conveyor belt passes items through."

"Douglas," she scolds, blushing. "I'll have you know, Sebastian and I have been together for six years."

"Six unblissful years," Dougie replies, eyeing a disgruntled Bash. "And yes, Greer told me _a lot_. If it weren't for your kid together, I'd ask why you're still on speaking terms."

Kenna wants to tell her brother to mind his own business and that she and Bash were trying, but she remembers their talk earlier before Douglas came.

Douglas is right, even though he barely knows her now and he doesn't even know Bash. However, Kenna can't deny her family were always good at judging people and that showed when her parents and younger siblings sat at the back when she was marrying Bash. They didn't want to be a part of the charade or lies.

"Douglas, that isn't your business. It wasn't even Greer's place to tell you," she tells him, almost shyly. She doesn't know why her brother intimidates her.

As children, they were close - especially with Alex, but now she can't fathom why he wants to involve himself in her life now.

"I'm going back to Scotland," Dougie informs her. "I'm going to call up Dad and Joanna, tell them I'm coming home. Then, I'll find our Alexander and set him straight too. Speaking of family, when was the last time you spoke to them?"

Kenna scoffs. He's right, though. It's been six years since she saw them physically and a few months since she's texted to let them know that she's still breathing. She hates to admit, Bash kind of destroyed her relationship with her family.

She's still at fault because she never bothered to involve them even after she and Bash separated. The humiliation was present.

"Judging by your reaction, not recently," Dougie says, tutting. "And you judged me."

"I'm a hypocrite, sue me," she snipes lightly. "Douglas-"

"It's your life, don't worry. I'm not here to play _big brother_. You're an adult, Mckenna." He sighs. "But from what I remember, your mother is a really understanding person. There's a reason I started calling her 'mum'."

Kenna nods. "She is. She's also the sheep that follows Dad in whatever he says or does."

"Dad doesn't hate you."

"Dad doesn't hate you, too," she retorts. "But as you said, it's _my_ life."

"And your son? What about him? Doesn't he deserve to know our family?" Douglas asks her, hurt. "The first time I've seen you in over ten years, you tell me you have a kid."

Kenna raises an eyebrow. "And whose fault is that, Douglas?"

"Fair play," he says, raising his hands. "I just want to fix things. I've had that time to find myself, lose myself and now, I want to have a family again. I thought that starting with you would be easier considering how close we used to be."

"It's going to take more than sweet words, reminiscing and visits across the world to see me," Kenna tells him, realising that her relationship with her brother is practically like the one with Bash. "Fuck," she mutters under her breath.

Douglas gives her a smile. "You're totally right, little sis. Remember when Dad and Joanna used to argue? Well, I hope you remember that I protected you, shielded you from all of that. People have siblings for a reason, it's not just for companionship. There's so much more to it than that."

Kenna blinks in surprise and her brother stands up, grabbing his belongings. "Dougie-" She calls out, surprising herself. "Stay, please."

He kisses her head. "I can't. I've got a flight tomorrow morning to Edinburgh. You can have my number though. It's a pay as you go, but I should have my shit sorted out in a few days or so."

"When you get to Mum and Dad's get them to call me."

"Why don't you call them?"

She shrugs. "I'm scared, Dougie."

He gives her a comforting rub on her shoulder. "So am I. Flying across the world to see the people who raised me for the first time in over a decade... God, Kens, I'm _terrified_. But that's me taking the steps. You do that too."

She walks him to the door with Bash following behind her. She feels awkward to not have introduced them earlier so she rectifies things.

"Douglas, Sebastian. Bash, Dougie," she quickly introduces them, watching as they shake hands firmly.

"Strong grip there, Sebastian."

"And same to you too, Douglas," Bash responds in kind.

Dougie winks at her and kisses her cheek fondly. "You haven't called me _Dougie_ ever. I can remember your whiny little child self calling 'Douglas' everywhere."

She laughs, hugging him tightly as tears spring her eyes. "I love you," she says, hiccuping slightly.

"Love you too, Trouble."

Soon after, his warmth is gone and she watches him disappear into the night. She can't wait to hear his voice again when he arrives home and calls her.

Before she sleeps, she calls Greer who apologises for spilling the beans, blaming her hormones. She laughs, saying that she's mended her relationship with Dougie a little and it's thanks to the blonde.

"I hope he stops by one day," Greer says. "It would be good to see how he is."

"Yeah, I'll go to Scotland next week instead. Visit my parents, Paisley and Lachlan."

"I hope it goes well."

Kenna nods. "Me too," she whispers.

* * *

_**Next time on Unrequited...**_

_"We need to end things. I can't do this..."_


	11. Chapter 11

Kenna looks up at the mention of her name and gives Bash a small smile. "Sorry, was miles away."

She sits on their balcony, just watching the kids play below them in the gardens. She doesn't know what this means for Catherine, Claude and the younger ones, she hopes they can find happiness.

"You're leaving next week," Bash states. "Back to England."

She nods. "Yeah," she replies softly, not meeting his eyes. "A part of me misses the typical British weather. France has been a pleasure as always."

"Kenna, is something wrong?"

She nods. She has to be honest. "Douglas visiting threw me off. Something I told him threw me off."

"What?" Bash asks, genuinely confused as he was there for the whole thing. Well, most of it.

"I'm not going to England, Bash," she tells him. "I'm going to Scotland."

"Oh, you're repairing your relationship with your family - that's great! Isn't that what you want? Why does that throw you off?" Bash frowns, taking her hand in his. "If you're scared, you don't have to be. I'm sure they're much better than my family is."

She smiles a little. "Yeah, I guess..." She trails off. She finally turns to him. "We need to end things. I can't do this..."

Bash lets go of her hand and, rubs his own hands over his face. He has no words. Every step they take, they end up taking ten steps back and whatever he does, he fails.

"There's no pleasing you," he says lightly. "Kenna, I thought-"

"Taking things slow or quickly won't fix us. Whichever speed we go at, it won't help at all. It's going to take more than sweet nothings, sex and empty promises, Bash. I'm sorry like I always am..."

Bash nods sadly. "I guess I deserve to be on the receiving end for once."

"After I've solved my issues with my family, I'm moving to Scotland to be closer to them. For Adrien's next school year, he will be with me and you can visit whenever you want."

"I want you to be happy," he tells her. "I want our son to be happy. If that means without me then..."

She can tell he doesn't want her to leave and she doesn't do anything to comfort him when silent tears fall down his cheeks. Her own chokes her up and she turns, laughing at something one of the kids said below them.

France will be nothing more than a distant memory of failed hopes, dreams and love.

"I love you," she hears Bash tell her. "I want you to know that."

For the first time in years, she doesn't feel inclined to repeat those words back so she just nods.

"Look at him," she says, pointing to Adrien who is trying to fling his light brown locks away from his eyes. His green eyes. "That's who we love. Now and forever, _he's_ who we love. Promise me you won't stop loving him, won't stop wanting to be there for him."

"I promise."

"Good. Thank you," she says quietly, closing her eyes. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when it's time to eat."

She stands, leaving him on the balcony and closing the doors. She doesn't lock them, so he can get in whenever he's finished being alone.

She gets into their bed and sniffs his pillow, tears leaking from her eyes onto the soft fabric.

When he comes in a few hours later, she pretends that she's still asleep. She feels him getting closer before his lips press against the skin underneath her hairline.

He doesn't say anything and soon after, she hears the door open before it clicks shut.

...

"Call me when you get home to Scotland," Diane tells her firmly, hugging her tightly. She pulls back and cups Kenna's face. "I sincerely hope this isn't the last time I ever see you."

Kenna nods. "Yeah. Thank you, Diane."

"I've slipped something into your suitcase. I'm sure you'll look at it with fond memories. There's a note inside it too," Diane explains. "Notre amitié m'est très précieuse."

"Our friendship is very precious to me too, Diane. Thank you for everything," Kenna replies, hugging her one last time.

Her farewells to Catherine and her children are very brief and she spends ten minutes kissing Adrien and hugging him tightly.

"Mama, don't go!" He cries.

"Maman will see you very soon," Diane assures the child but he's inconsolable.

"Mama, please," Adrien begs.

It's heartbreaking for Kenna and she really doesn't want to leave him, but she has to. France isn't her home anymore and if she stays, she'd be out of her wits and she can't have that for her life.

"Adi, I love you so very much! To the moon, back and around again-"

"I love you to the moon, back and around again, two more times, Mama!" Adrien cuts her off. "So, you have to stay now."

Kenna laughs through her tears. "I wish I could. I'll Skype you every single day and Papa promises to bring you to visit me."

"Why can't you come? You said you would last time!"

"I know, but something came up, baby boy. You're going to have a lot of fun with Papa and Meme. I have to go now, promise me you will be good for them."

Adrien's face falls. "No... Not until you stay!"

"Adrien, why don't we watch some Paw Patrol, yeah?" Claude asks him, her eyes watering at the heartbreaking scene. "I'm sure there's a new episode we've not watched, yet. Come on, follow Tante Claude!"

As much as Kenna doesn't like Claude, she can't deny she can look after kids really well. Adrien soon brokenheartedly follows Claude, sobbing as she carries him back into their home.

Kenna stands and turns to face Bash. She opens her arms and he steps into them, inhaling her scent as he rocks her side to side gently.

"Thanks for the memories, Bash. Can I count on you to get the divorce finalised for real, this time?"

"Yeah," he whispers into her ear, squeezing her slightly. "Just a few more minutes, first? Of me still calling you my wife..."

A sob escapes her lips and she nods, pulling back and kissing him. "Goodbye, husband."

"Goodbye, wife."

His voice sends shivers down her spine and she smiles a little, placing a hand on his cheek.

"If Rowan's still available, maybe you should ask her out properly."

"I don't intend to go back to the past unless it's you," he tells her genuinely and she searches his eyes for any falseness.

She doesn't find any, but a part of her thinks he's just got better at acting and she doesn't fault him for that.

"Just let me go, yeah?" She tells him, letting go and heading towards her Uber, courtesy of her soon-to-be ex-husband.

Soon, she's on the road and she doesn't look back. Not once.

...

The door opens and the person stands in front of her, shocked at her appearance.

"Look who's here," Douglas says, letting her in and helping her with her belongings.

"Where are they?" Kenna asks, looking around.

"Church. It's Sunday, of course. I stayed behind, wanting to cook them something to eat when they got back. That and last time I went, I had so many pitiful looks, I couldn't stand it," Douglas explains.

Kenna smiles sadly. "Sorry, I guess you get that a lot with your new prosthetic leg and all."

"Hmm," he replies, gesturing for her to follow him into the kitchen. "Exploring the world allowed me to try new foods. You'll love this one I learnt from my time in Thailand."

"Oh, can't wait to try-"

Her words are cut off by her brother shoving a spoon into her mouth and she blinks in surprise, swallowing the liquid.

"That's actually really good! Considering you used to burn shit when we were growing up," she says, licking the spoon.

"Haha, yes," he drawls. "Where's Lover Boy and Baby Boy?"

She laughs at his nicknames for her child and her child's father. She tells him, "France. Douglas, I've left Bash _again_."

"Shit, wow. Sorry, I guess?" He questions, unsure as he wipes his hands on his apron.

"Adrien's staying for school. Until I find something here because I'm moving back home, Dougie," she announces.

"You will be happy, Kenna. I promise you. Those six years will seem like a distant memory, and you and Adrien will be happy."

A tear slips down her cheek. "I hope so. I really hope I've made the right decision."

"Come here."

She steps into his warm embrace, letting him just hold her as her tears and sobs leave her body.

"I'm scared," she sobs. "I feel sick, tired and I'm scared!"

"I've got you. You're home now."

For the first time in six years, she believes that.

She's finally home.

...

Kenna's heart jumps when she hears voices entering the house. She rushes down the stairs and fixes her hair, heading to the voices which have made their way to the dining room, complimenting the food presented to them.

"Ma, Dad, before you-"

"Hi, Mum and Dad," Kenna cuts Douglas off as her parents turn to face her in shock.

"She still lives," she hears her little brother say.

She laughs a little. "Hi, Lachlan." She turns to her sister. "Paisley."

Before the atmosphere can get more awkward than it is, Douglas asks them all to sit down so he can begin dishing their food. He talks about himself, trying to break the ice between their parents and Kenna.

She's grateful for him acting like the buffer she needs and she doesn't feel the need to burst into tears just yet.

A while later after Douglas has exhausted himself talking about himself, Kenna's father finally turns his attention to her.

"You and Sebastian have finally parted ways," he states.

"Yeah," she tells them, nodding. "Adrien's with him. Just until we sort the custody thing out and I can find a school for him."

Her father raises an eyebrow. "You allowed him to have your son? You know, I don't think any of us has ever met that little boy."

Kenna feels guilty and her gaze focuses on her food. "I know and that's bad. I promise, at Christmas, he will meet you."

"Does he even know who we are?" Paisley asks, clearly insulted. "Has Mary Valois taken the title for 'Best Aunt' or one of his millions of half-sisters?"

"I know you're all upset," Kenna says. "I'm sorry it has taken me divorcing Bash to get here. I'm a horrible daughter, sister, you name it. I'm sorry I let my heart rule my head when I decided to get married. Now, I need your support - I know I don't deserve it, but I hope we can be a family again. I'm even considering moving back to Scotland."

Her mother sends a small smile her way. "All we need is Alexander and we'll be a family again."

Kenna accepts her mother's outstretched hand and squeezes it. "I love you all and I want you to know, I'm _home_."

"It will take a while, we'll get there," her father tells them all. "Now, let's enjoy this lovely meal Douglas has graced us with. First, let's say grace."

...

Kenna is surprised when Francis shows up at her family's house two months later.

"I hope you don't mind me coming to see you face to face," he tells her as he comes in.

She leads him into the living room, shooing her younger brother off into the next room. She sits across from Francis and waits to learn why he's there, in Scotland of all places, to see her.

"How's Bash?" She asks, nervously.

Francis takes out an envelope from his suit jacket. "Officially a single man. As as you, a single woman."

He gives her the envelope and her heart beats loudly in her chest. She can't believe it. The envelope is heavy in her hands and she swallows deeply, a sad smile gracing her lips.

"How's Adrien?" He asks her.

"He's really happy considering he cried a lot when I left him. I think that moving to England and back to France confused him, but he's speaking a lot of French there rather than English. He's comfortable," Kenna tells him. "I miss him - Skype just isn't the same and I don't see Bash because he's either working or he just doesn't want to see me."

Francis sends her an apologetic smile. "I wish I knew what went on in that head of my brother's. God, he even avoids me sometimes. Hey, I've got your letters, too... Are you never going to come back to England?"

She nods. "I'll be honest, I don't know at this point. Right now, I'm home, Francis. Maybe, coming back to Scotland was exactly what I needed."

"I can tell," he says, gesturing to her hair. "You've got some highlights."

She laughs, rolling her eyes. "Nothing extreme. I've started jogging, eating properly... You know, just looking after myself." She doesn't tell him that there _is_ something extreme about her.

"Has anyone caught your eye?"

"I love you Francis, but my love life isn't any of your business," she tells him, winking at him. "And no. Just focusing on myself for now. I don't think I'll ever get over Bash, I need time before jumping into bed with someone else."

"Yeah," Francis agrees. "You probably think I'm mad for coming all this way just for you. I was going to take a flight out from here to France."

Kenna raises her eyebrows. "To see Bash?"

"I just have to see for myself how he's doing. We're taking steps to move the base of the family business to England. I've decided to run it," Francis informs her. "It's quite daunting, it will make things much easier for everyone involved. Sorting out this business with my father's declining health is not easy. We'll get through it."

"I wish you luck," Kenna says. "Thank you for everything, for bringing this and for being you!"

Francis laughs at her gratitude, waving it off and saying, "I'm happy you're getting a new start. This time, stay well clear from billionaire families with crazy contracts and prenups."

"God, I will! This doesn't mean that I'd stop calling and visiting. Those kids are still my niece and nephews," Kenna tells him. "You're still my friends, you and Mary. Also, Greer and Lola are in England so I need every excuse to visit when my family do my nut in."

"Can I give you a hug?" He asks shyly.

She stands, pulling him up before wrapping her arms around his waist. He wraps his arms around her shoulders and they laugh at the awkwardness there. They realise they've never hugged that many times. Only once at her and Bash's wedding as he welcomed her into their family.

Now, he's saying farewell to her as she leaves his family.

"God, this is weird," she says quietly.

Francis nods, finally letting go and fixing his coat. He shivers, saying, "Scotland's cold. Are you sure you want to live here?"

She chuckles. "It's November, Francis. Also, you're talking to a Scottish native. How's England going for you, my French friend?" She jests.

"Oh, Kenna!" Francis laughs. "Bash is coming down next month for Christmas with Diane. My mother and the kids are coming too. It's going to be a full event at mine and Mary's."

"So...?" Kenna trails off.

Francis gives her a smile. "Obviously, Adrien will come. Kenna, I'd like it if you came - more like, Mary would _love_ it if you came!"

Kenna winces. "I would, but it's the first Christmas with my family in years... I want Adrien to finally meet them. I'll allow him to spend time at yours for a week and I'll have him for the rest of the holidays - I've told Bash about it. Well, I've told _Diane_ about it and she's told Bash for me. I'm sorry."

"No, no! It's fine. I'd hate to disappoint Mary, but she'll understand. Maybe bring Adrien up here for you and see her mum briefly. Anyway, say 'hi' to your family for me. I'll get off."

She walks him to the door and gives him one last hug before he finally leaves and gets into his cab.

She turns around and gives her little brother smile as he complains about being kicked out from his comfort space.

"Oh, shut up Lockie."

"So, he's the brother of the father of your kids?"

Kenna falters. "_Shut up_, Lachlan."

She places a hand on her non-visible bump and swallows deeply. She hopes that Francis didn't feel it or see it. Not that he could anyway.

"Kenna?"

"Leave me alone," she snaps, heading upstairs.

"I'm hoping that's just the hormones, sis!" He calls up to her, smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

Lola sips her wine, watching as John plays with his half-siblings, half-cousin and Greer and Aloysius's younger children outside in the garden. She feels a presence behind her and turns to smile at Bash.

"Hi," she says softly.

"Hey," he replies, smiling when Adrien scores a goal. "Can you believe Christmas is next week?"

She shakes her head, saying, "No. Today is his last day here, isn't it? Before Mary takes him to Scotland to Kenna."

"Yeah. I'm going to miss him," Bash says softly, leaning his head against the cool glass of the doors. "I miss her _every day_. Just last Christmas, we were together. Well, kind of together."

"She's happy, Bash," Lola tells him gently.

"Has she met someone?"

Lola tuts. "No," she replies, almost rolling her eyes. "She doesn't want to see anyone - she's focusing on herself and Adrien."

"Good," Bash says. At least, he could have a while that he can pretend that she's still his, sort of.

"Are you avoiding her?" Lola asks him, a little angrily. "I've spoken to her a few times and she thought that you guys would remain friends at least. You share a son, Bash."

"What about John?" Bash retorts.

"At least, I'm down the road when my son needs me. You and Kenna are in different countries entirely!" Lola snaps.

She walks off, downing her wine as Bash heads outside to sit down on the patio. He didn't mean to start an argument, but he feels horrible. Incomplete.

He feels like he's mourning. Like Kenna isn't in Scotland, but dead. He thought ignoring her would make it bearable, but it was making things worse.

"God!" A feminine voice calls out, setting herself heavily onto the seat beside him. "Jesus, can you believe I'm this _huge_?" Greer asks, frowning.

"Jesus, can I have some privacy?" Bash asks lightly.

Greer chuckles. "Considering that you annoyed Lola of all people, I don't think you deserve anything right now."

"I'll apologise later. I'm on edge - being here isn't doing me any favours."

"Not everyone is feeling so joyous this Christmas," Greer replies sadly. "Lola's broody, but Stephane doesn't want kids. She doesn't know how to tell him about John and their whole situation."

"Oh, that's why she's on edge," Bash mumbles.

Greer nods. "I'm not feeling so good about this pregnancy, it's my worse one yet. Mary... Well, who knows how Mary is doing? She's been off since Kenna left."

"It hurts," Bash tells her, his eyes watering. "I understand where Mary's coming from. If she's happy in Scotland, then I can't ruin things for her. This time next year, Adrien will be with her."

"Why can't you leave France, Bash?" Greer asks him. "It doesn't hold great memories for you. You could live in Kenna's place, she hasn't sold it yet. Across the road from your brother-"

"Close as hell to Mary," Bash interjects, rolling his eyes. "Then, Kenna might use that against me."

Greer tuts. "Oh, God. You're insufferable!" She sighs. "Sorry, every time you, Kenna and Mary are mentioned in the same conversation, it's a real killjoy. Not everything has to have a double meaning or link to Mary. You could move here because of Francis, _your brother_. Plus, it's closer to Scotland than France is so you can visit Adrien easily."

"I've fucked up my life, Greer. I've lost my wife, I'm losing my son... My dad's messed up... Nothing is going good for me," Bash tells her, shaking his head. "I feel _stuck_."

They turn when the door opens and see Diane come out, closing the door behind her. She takes a seat opposite them.

"Mary invited me to go and see Kenna," she tells her son.

"Great, now my mother is going to see the wife I lost," Bash mutters darkly. "Do you have to go, Maman?"

Diane laughs at his behaviour. "You're acting like a child, Sebastian. It's not my fault you refuse to talk to her."

"Bash, I know I don't have a right to talk about your relationship with Kenna," Greer starts. "But things do get worse if you never get along with her. Adrien's at a very sensitive age right now and he needs his parents to be civil. Come on, you know how that's like."

Diane nods in agreement. "Just start with a phone call, you don't even need to FaceTime or use Skype. As you said, talking to her was always good. Go back to those times and be friends."

"It's like talking to a brick wall," they hear Francis say as he appears and sits down. "Heard there was a party out here." He grins, waving at the children at the end of the garden.

"Convince your brother, please," Diane tells the blonde man. "There's only so much a mother can do for her child."

Francis turns to his brother, handing him his unfinished beer. He watches Bash take a sip and lean back further into the chair.

"No matter what," Francis begins. "Kenna will always love you. I could see it in her eyes when I gave her the papers sealing your divorce. She's moving on, so should you. You've never had issues doing so."

Turning the conversation on a lighter note, Greer says to Bash, "Keep sipping that for me, yeah? I want to live vicariously through you as you drink that beer. God, I remember why I leave at least a year and a half until the next one!" She pats her bump.

...

Kenna rushes outside, running towards Mary as the woman gets out of the car first.

"Mary!" Kenna yells out, hugging her friend tightly. "God, it's been _months_! I feel like I'm dying!"

Mary laughs, responding to the hug just as eagerly. "I know. I've missed you so much! It's not nice not having you across the road so I can come over for a sneaky wine or two!" She pouts. "I've brought gifts and people and happiness and joy!"

"Well, there wasn't any joy at her house," Diane says, joining them and opening the door for Adrien, sending Kenna a warm smile. "So, we brought our joy here."

Mary blushes. "Okay, I was in a bit of a mood because you weren't there and everyone's falling apart - I'll get onto that later, but first...!"

"My Adrien!" Kenna laughs, picking her son up into her arms and spinning around. "Oh, look how much you've grown!"

"Auntie Mary gave me chocolate in the car and Meme gave me _five_ dinosaur toys!" Adrien tells his mother. "I didn't open them, I wanted to share them with you."

Tears spring to Kenna's eyes and she laughs, kissing his cheek. "Oh, of course! My good boy!"

They head inside and Kenna introduces Diane to her parents and siblings.

"Diane, these are my parents, Robert and Joanna. Mum, Dad, this is my former mother-in-law, Diane Poitiers."

The three shake hands and Mary greets Kenna's parents warmly with hugs.

"Little Mary Stuart!" Mary hears behind her.

She turns and sees Douglas.

"Fuck," she says under her breath, making him laugh. "Dougie, hey! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year."

"And you," Douglas replies, hugging her. "Wow, you look great!"

Mary blushes. "Thanks, you too. Kenna told me about... well, you still look decent, I guess."

Douglas laughs. "Thanks."

He leaves, calling Lockie to play some football outside as Kenna entertains their guests in the kitchen.

"I'm surprised Douglas didn't even look at Adrien," Joanna says, frowning.

"How could he?" Robert asks. "The boy's really small for his age. What is he? Five?"

Adrien shyly looks at them from his mother's chest, turning to nestle his face into her neck.

"Mama, who are they?" He asks in a small voice.

Kenna clears her throat, placing him onto the ground. "That is your other grandmother and grandfather. Mummy's parents."

"I have two Memes?"

Diane's face falls slightly and she gives Joanna a polite smile, turning to face the child again.

"Yeah, exactly," Kenna says, kneeling down to reach his level. "Only, Mama's mummy is _Nana_."

"Nana?" Adrien repeats.

Kenna nods. "Oui. And Mummy's daddy is _Pépé_."

Adrien gasps. "He's French like me?"

"No. He's Scottish like Mummy. You're half-Scottish too, cheeky!" Kenna says, laughing. "You can call him Pépé if you'd like. We want you to be happy with what you call him, sweetie."

She looks up at her parents who smile back encouragingly. Turning Adrien around to face them, he holds his hand out to shake theirs.

"Nana and Pépé, I am Adrien and I'm five."

"Hello, Adrien," Robert says, shaking the child's hand. "I'm Pépé Robert. But you can call me Pépé or Pépé Rob."

Adrien turns to Joanna. "And you?"

Joanna chuckles. "Hello, Adrien. I'm your Nana Jo. It's very nice to finally meet you and what a big boy you are!"

"Pépé called me small!"

Everyone laughs and the tension is gone much to Kenna's relief. She is surprised when Adrien leaves her hold and starts up a conversation about his new toys with his grandparents.

All three look on adoringly at the boy and Kenna turns to Mary, gesturing for her to follow her upstairs to her room.

"Kenna, what's wrong? You look like someone ran over your dog. _Again_."

Kenna laughs a little. "Little Mackie was the best, wasn't he? Before he got ran over and all..."

"Yes, he was. And so was Mackie II and they are both buried outside in your garden," Mary teases her, but it's the truth of the fate both dogs suffered. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Kenna sniffles, meeting Mary's eyes nervously. "I don't think I can ever escape Bash," she says, as tears fall down her cheeks. "Mary, I'm pregnant."

Mary's eyes widen in surprise.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Kenna replies, nodding. "I've not told anyone yet and I had it confirmed by my doctor."

Mary breathes out, still surprised. "What are you going to do? We were only joking when we thought you'd get pregnant. Now, you guys are divorced and literally live in different countries! How can you raise another kid much less, Adrien?"

"I said that in the hopes that we could make things work," Kenna admits. "We've seen that we couldn't and we're reeling from the consequences. I've always wanted another baby. Last time I kept my pregnancy from him, things didn't end so well."

Mary nods sadly. "Jesus, Kenna..."

"I lost a bit of my soul during the miscarriage. I don't think I've recovered from that," Kenna says. "I can't literally believe I'm pregnant, Mary... I don't know what to do."

"Okay, here's what you're going to do," Mary tells her, taking her hands in her own. "You're going to invite Bash here to spend the rest of the holidays with you and Adrien. It will make it easier for him to pick up Adrien and take him to France."

"Mary-"

"Just listen," Mary pleads. "You're going to tell him, face to face. You are also going to tell him that you are willing to co-parent this child too. For now, Adrien will be with Bash in France and you'll have the baby with you, here. During the holidays and breaks, you both can visit each other."

Kenna glances towards her stomach, placing a hand on it. "Here I thought things were going to be simple. How wrong was I? Things are a million times more complicated!"

"I know," Mary says sadly, placing a hand on Kenna's cheek. "I'm here, the girls are here. You have your family... We're all here to help you out this time. You're not far away in France, you're _home_."

Kenna believes that things could work out.

...

Bash walks up to Lola, smiling when she notices him. "I just wanted to apologise for last week." It's two days until Christmas Day and he ought to make amends with everyone he's annoyed.

"No, it's fine," Lola says, sighing. "I was a bit emotional. It just gets difficult, you know? Being so close yet so far from your own kid. I was fine with it until Stephane said he didn't want any more kids. I know he has two already who are practically my age, but still..."

"Tell him the truth about John and how you feel. I'm sure if he really loves you, he'd change his mind," Bash assures her. "He's a decent guy from what I'm told."

Lola smiles. "I'm heading to Scotland with Stephane to see my parents and siblings. Do you want to come with us so we can drop you off at the Beatons'? I'm sure Adrien would love having both parents for Christmas."

"I don't want to get in Kenna's way. She and her family need time to recover, I don't want to mess things up."

"Come on," Lola urges him. "Your mum is there!"

Bash turns to see Francis playing with his children, bright smiles on their faces as his brother picks up Anne and kisses her cheek. Bash misses that for him and his own family.

Now, his family consisted of him, his mother and Adrien.

"Bash, I'm sure Kenna wouldn't mind. Christmas is the time for family."

"Let me pack my things and tell Francis," Bash finally says.

Lola beams. "Yes! Great, I'll meet you in my car."

He heads towards Francis and the children, ruffling James's hair and receiving a glare from the boy.

"I'm going to Scotland, Francis," says Bash. "Lola's convinced me to come with her so she can take me to Kenna's."

"Are you sure?" Francis almost whines. "I mean, you've never properly met her family and it would be awkward as her ex-husband to show up."

"It's for Adrien. Don't worry, I won't try and convince her to get back with me. We've tried many times and it never worked out."

Francis sighs in relief. "Good. Spending Christmas Day with Adrien should be the only thing you're there for. You might want to pack some extra jackets."

"It's _that_ cold?" Bash asks.

"Just saying, I was freezing my arse off in November," Francis replies. "Good luck. For the weather _and_ your ex-wife."

"Oh, Bash!" Lola calls out, popping her head through the door. "We're taking the train. For a more scenic route. As a Frenchman, you'd love it!"

Bash sends Francis an exasperated look. "What's the difference?"

"Don't even ask me," Francis says, laughing. "I took a plane!"

...

On Christmas Eve, Kenna heads downstairs and finds Adrien already up and playing a game with her brothers.

"Look how adorable you all look!" She coos, kissing her son's head. "No Alexander?"

Douglas shakes his head, starting to tickle Adrien. "No," he replies, smiling at the child's laughter. "Here Ma thought we were going to have a full Christmas. We have you, me, Adrien and your former mother-in-law joining them this year."

"And no Alexander," Lachlan says, rolling his eyes. "It's not like he even cares, right?"

Kenna tuts, hitting Lachlan's head gently. "Hey, you never know what's been going on. Until a few months ago, I still believed Dougie had two fleshed legs!"

Douglas laughs. "And I thought you were still my darling, innocent, little sister. Who knew you dated an older man and married his son whilst you were at it?"

"You did what?" Lachlan gasped.

"Mama, what's 'dated'?" Adrien asks, running from Douglas' grip.

Glaring at her brother, Kenna smiles at her son. "It's just means time, baby. Oh, never mind. Why don't you go and wake Meme up? I'm sure she'd love to make some crepes for us."

Adrien nods and runs upstairs, allowing his mother to hit Douglas on the arm.

"Can you not blurt out my love life, especially in front of Adi, please? I'm embarrassed enough - I'm a divorced single mother of two now."

"Sorry," Douglas replies, genuinely apologetic. "How's the pregnancy going?"

Kenna rolls her eyes. "I feel like throwing up every second. Not because of morning sickness although I do have that - but because Mary told me to tell Bash face to face now... I can't do that. I haven't been able to call him up and ask him to come."

"Does his mother know about you being...?" Lachlan asks her.

"No," she confesses. "Another reason for you guys to keep things on the down low. I just have to accept that I'm doing this alone."

"What if Adrien tells his father, it slips up in conversation? He's a kid who doesn't know what secrets are," Douglas says. "Mary's right, you need to tell Sebastian quick."

"Tell my son what?" They hear Diane ask as she enters the living area with Adrien by her side.

Kenna sighs. "Your stupid book and son have put me in a difficult position."

Slowly, a grin starts to form on Diane's face. "You liked my little gift, hmm? I told you, I have the sight, Kenna. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Kenna replies, blushing. "I'm blaming you for willing it! And for Bash wanting it too as we-"

"Blame away. It was all a part of my master plan," Diane jests, cutting her off, heading into the kitchen with Adrien. "Happy for you, darling, I am!"

Kenna groans loudly. "What am I going to do?!"

"Eat your feelings?" Lachlan suggests.

"Be an adult and face your mistakes?" Douglas adds. "Then, you can eat your feelings.

She rolls her eyes. "I knew there was a reason we didn't speak for over ten years, and six for you Lachlan."

...

Lola gets out of her car first, smiling up at the house in front of them. She was relieved to find out that the gates were open.

"_This_ is where Kenna grew up?" Bash asks in shock.

Lola nods, helping him get his suitcase from the boot. "Yeah. We would play in the garden out back. There are woods behind it, leading to the lake her older brothers used to dunk us in when we were little. We have so many great memories here."

"You had me at woods," Bash says, approvingly. "Maybe, we should wait a few minutes."

"Why?" Narcisse asks, getting out of the car, ending the call he was on. "The sooner the better, Sebastian."

Bash winces. "Do I have to?"

They all turn around when they hear a car and watch as it drives down the driveway, around the fountain piece and stops just behind Lola's car.

It's red, Italian, new and _loud_.

"Oh my God," Lola says under her breath, heading towards the car. "Hi!" She says to the people inside.

Bash and Narcisse wait, watching as Lola speaks with the person in the _expensive_ sports car. Bash wonders if the person is related to Kenna and her family and wonders just how wealthy they are exactly.

Narcisse frowns deeply, hearing Lola laugh at what the driver tells her. "Darling?" He calls out. "Care to introduce us?"

Lola turns back to face them. "Oh, yeah! Sorry, it's been a while!" She says, standing back as a smartly dressed man leaves the car first.

He's wearing a five-piece, blue tweed suit and some expensive leather dress shoes. He quickly rounds his car and opens the door for the woman he comes with.

"I can't believe that it's _you_, Lola!" The man says in a thick Scottish accent, closing the door behind the woman. "You were a little chubby thing as a child."

"Alexander!" The woman scolds, hitting his chest.

She's dressed differently. Way differently. She wears jeans, combat boots and a leather jacket. Her hair is cut short, jet black and it's dyed blonde at the tips.

"Forgive me," Alexander says, laughing. "Lola, meet my fiancée Archie. Archie, meet my little half-sister's dear friend, Lola Flemming. Whom I called _Chubby Lola_ when she was a child."

Archie winces. "I've been trying to get him to be kinder in his words. I'm so sorry."

Lola giggles. "It's no problem. Alexander was always a big teasing bully. Nice to see that he's smartened up a little."

"It's all me," Archie says, winking. "Who are the lovely gentlemen behind you? Looking as if we've all grown three heads..."

Lola yelps, apologising to Narcisse and Bash before pulling them over to Archie and Alex.

"Alexander and Archie, meet _my_ fiancé Stephane," she says, kissing Narcisse's cheek with a bright smile. "And this is Sebastian Poitiers."

Alex nods, shaking both of their hands whilst Archie gives them a nod. "How is Sebastian related to you, then?" Alexander asks her.

Lola falters. "Sorry, what?"

"You've brought a random man to my family's home. Unless he's not just some stray you've picked up? You girls did love bringing strays home for dinner. I remember Gary, Leith, Colin and-"

Lola laughs nervously, turning to Bash and cutting Alexander off. "Uh, this is so awkward, but Bash isn't any stray of mine. He's Kenna's ex-husband, Alexander." She wrings her hands.

"Her what?" Alex asks, turning to Bash in shock. "_Ex_? As in, former and no longer? Then my question still stands, why is he here?"

"Oh, shit!" They hear behind them.

Kenna awkwardly passes through Lola and Narcisse to get to Alex, giving him a tight hug. "Hi, Alexander! Welcome home, big brother! I've missed your smartarse so much!"

"I knew we should have gone to your parents' instead, Archie," Alex mumbles to Archie over Kenna's shoulder. He pats Kenna's back. "Missed you too, you little bitch."

"No, I live for the drama," Archie tells him with a smirk. "And don't call your sister a 'bitch'! Nice to meet you, Kenna."

Kenna clears her throat, resisting the urge to laugh at her brother. "And you, Archie." She turns to Bash. "Hey," she says to Bash. "Welcome to my family's home. Adi's inside with our mums so, you can see them."

"Who is _Adi_?" Alexander asks.

"Your nephew Adrien, Alexander," Kenna replies. "I don't have the time to explain the drama that is my life, but a lot of things went down since you've been gone."

"You're right, I've been gone and I _need_ a drink. I'm off-call for two days, I'm going to make the most of my days off," her brother announces, heading inside with Archie trailing behind, admiring their family home.

Lola gives Kenna a hug. "I'm going to go inside and see your parents before Stephane and I go back to my own. It's good to see you, you're glowing and you look so much healthier."

Kenna chuckles, tightening their hug. "Thank you. You look great too, Lola. Don't mind Alexander with all the 'chubby' stuff, you're beautiful!"

"It's not like kids are allowed to have a little chubbiness, right?" Lola laughs.

She and Stephane head in, the man complimenting her family's home from the inside. Kenna notices that Bash never went in.

"Hey," he says softly. "You look great. Your hair-"

"Little changes," Kenna replies just as quietly as she rubs her arms for warmth. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come for Adi, but you're here."

He laughs his first genuine laugh in a while. "Yeah, Lola convinced me. We took a train last evening here and I stayed at her parents' house. Scotland is a really lovely country. The scenic tour was _great_."

"It is, yeah." She smiles. "Bash, I really need to talk to you before we go inside." She looks over to her brother's car. "I think he's left it unlocked. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Being a little rebellious?" Bash teases her.

"We have an archery range out back, I can show you how rebellious I am!" She replies, giggling. "No, I don't want to drive it, just sit in it. Question how he can afford such a car being a doctor."

They chuckle, getting into Alexander's car and readjusting the seats since they can't start the car without the key out of distance.

"Makes me want one, now," Bash says, feeling the leather dashboard. "This interior is definitely custom-"

"Let's not talk about the car," Kenna cuts him off, turning to face him. "I'll be honest, Bash. What I am about to tell you, I've known for a couple of months now. I just didn't think it was real so I've kept it a secret to myself to process things." She doesn't want to tell him that her whole family know already.

"Okay..."

She swallows deeply. "I'm pregnant."

There is silence and it lasts for about ten minutes until she breaks it.

"Bash?"

"Oh," Bash finally says. "Shit, okay. Uh, I was joking when we... Fuck. Okay," he stumbles across his words. "Let me say this out. We're divorced?"

"Yeah."

"We have a son?"

"Yeah."

He continues with, "We live in two _different_ countries."

She nods. "Yeah."

"And now, we're having another baby?"

She nods again. "Yes."

"Fuck," he breathes out.

"I know, right," she replies. "We finally leave each other's lives and then this happens? What are we going to do Bash? Co-parenting was easy enough with just Adrien, but now we have another child to think about. Would that mean I'd have to leave Scotland and move _again_ to be with you and Adrien? Would that force us to get back together?"

Bash turns to her. "I want to do whatever you want to do. I'll follow your lead. Whatever you want, I'll go with it."

Tears slip down her cheeks and she nods. "I want to keep it. I mean, I've always wanted another baby. Bash, this shouldn't mean we need to get back together. We're better apart, I think. I would like it, though, if you were there for me when I'm in labour and give birth. You were there for Adi, it's only fair. I want you to be a part of this child's life too. I would never keep any of them away from you."

"Francis suggested that I should move to England, to your house with Adrien. He's familiar with it and it's closer to Scotland than France."

"That's a good idea," Kenna replies. "It's just over an hour flight or four hours on the train so Adi can visit any time."

"But he should be with you, his mother. Both of them should. I wouldn't know how to go about caring for Adrien by myself. I had my mother help me since you've been here."

Kenna smiles a little. "She's a Godsend. Well, I could have him live with me and every Friday he could fly to England and spend the weekend with you. My parents joke that he needs his Scottish side broken in so, he can get to know them better."

"Then we're agreed? You have sole custody and we'll move during the Easter holidays. Make the transition smooth from a French school into a Scottish one."

"You're acting as if they're so different," she chuckles softly. "I'm glad we can be civil about things considering you've been avoiding me, mister!"

"I just needed time," he admits.

"And today?"

He gives her a smile. "I was ready to see how much better you are without me." He places a hand on her small bump. "Considering I'm always going to be with you."

Her hand covers his.


	13. Chapter 13

Bash keeps to himself and his mother later that afternoon, letting Kenna enjoy her time with her family and Adrien. The Poitiers nurse liquors by the fireplace.

"You now know?" Diane asks him, gesturing to Kenna's bump.

Bash nods. "We're remaining divorced and separated. Mother, I'm moving to England."

"I figured," Diane says softly. "I've lived in France all my life, I feel confined."

"Same here. Why don't you come with me?" He asks her. "Live with me or at least, nearby? We won't have a castle or anything so we can't keep to different sides of it, but it will be home."

Diane shakes her head. "Darling, it's time we went our separate ways when it comes to living. I'm moving to Switzerland."

Bash smirks. "Who is he?"

His mother glares at him. "None of your business."

"Ah, businessman. Got it," he jokes.

"Tais-toi," his mother scolds, blushing. "I love you, Sebastian, and if moving makes you happy, go for it. It won't be only you benefitting, but Adrien and this new baby."

Bash smiles her way. "Thank you."

...

Kenna gives her brother a smile, moving her legs so he can sit down. She immediately rests her legs on his legs.

"Hi, Alex."

"Hi, Kenna," he replies, sipping his drink. "Why are you all alone in the formal living room? Don't you remember? We're not allowed in here!"

She giggles, remembering her mother's stern words whenever they played in the living room reserved for company. "I just wanted some peace. I felt a bit nauseous."

"Hmm," he replies. "Do you have time to explain the wreck that is your life to me now?"

She gives him a nod, explaining the events of her life over the past decade he hasn't seen her. She's glad she has her family and her older half-brothers supporting her. She's also glad that her children still have their father and he won't be like his, only passing by when he feels like it and throws money around.

Kenna learns that Alexander became a doctor, working at a hospital in England. He tells her that's how he met Archie, a woman who worked her way to the position she is in now.

"She's lovely. Not at all what I expected. I believed she'd be more like Louis Vuitton belts and Gucci handbags," Kenna tells him.

"No," he replies with a smile. "She's all Primark and H&M. She's not into all that designer stuff. I've bought her some as gifts, but she's always giving them back or to her family. She wasn't born into wealth like we were, I appreciate her humbleness."

"And that Ferrari parked outside?" Kenna teases him.

He grins. "I had to convince her for _months_ to take a ride in it. Her engagement ring cost me half what I paid for that car."

"Oh, Alex!" Kenna laughs. "Do you love her?"

"Course, I do! She's the only one who can get me, you know? She's the one and I'm glad I've found her," he replies, his cheeks reddening. "Sorry, your marriage didn't work out and you're stuck pregnant with ex-hubby's baby."

Kenna waves her situation off. "It's fine. This is why people who are separating should abstain from goodbye sex. You get more than you bargain for."

"Are you sure it's his?"

Kenna frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You slept with him and this other guy within a tight window. How are you sure Sebastian's the father?" Alex asks her.

Kenna stills, her body leaning back into the chair. "Alex, please - don't say shit like that."

"You have to consider it-"

"Didn't I tell you what happened last time? He thought it _was_ the other guy's baby! It wasn't, but we still lost it. Fuck, Alex!"

Alexander frowns at her, shaking his head. "Don't be naive, Mckenna," he tells her firmly. "So what if the other guy is the father? You're not together nor are you ever getting back together so what do you care if his feelings are hurt? According to you, he never cared about _your_ feelings."

Tears spring to Kenna eyes and she tells her brother, "There is some bad blood between their families. They're cousins so that makes things worse. Bash is the father end of."

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, sis. Look, I have no right to be involved because I haven't been there for you in ten years. But think about it, Kenna," he says, grabbing her hands. "Don't just believe something for the sake of it. You're moving on, but don't add more pain to the wound. Tell him there's a chance he may not be the father. What can he do? Take your kid away? Honey, you have sole custody until that boy completes one more term of school in France. Just be smart about things because the most stupid thing you've ever done is getting involved with him in the first place from what Dad and Mum told me."

Kenna nods silently, accepting his hug when he brings her to his chest and rubs her back.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm here now, little sister," he whispers, rocking them slightly. "I've got you. I always will."

And she's glad at least. Her brothers who protected her as a child are protecting her now. She feels untouchable.

...

Kenna knows the atmosphere is tense in her home. Her parents bemoan Bash's presence although they don't mind Diane's. Her brothers, all three, make Bash uncomfortable and often ask him to play sports with them or a game that they can beat him in.

And Adrien. Adrien gets all the attention he likes from his future aunt, Archie, and his grandparents.

She still feels upset from what Alex told her earlier and she doesn't know how to process it. On one hand, she wants to tell Bash the truth. On the other hand, she's terrified he'd cut all contact with her and she wants to avoid that.

But she has to tell him.

"Bash? Can you help me with something in the garage?" She calls him, standing behind him as he's seated beside Lachlan as they play Fifa on the youngest Beaton's PlayStation against Alexander and Douglas.

"Just a minute, Kenna," Bash replies, not looking at her as he and Lachlan score a goal.

Alexander cries out in displeasure as Douglas grunts, trying to get them a goal as Alex complains.

"If you'd stay where I told you to, he wouldn't have got past!" Douglas tells him.

Kenna glances at Alexander, sending him a pointed glare. "Is the match finished yet?"

Alex checks the screen. "Just four more minutes, Kenna. I promise you and then you can take Sebastian away."

So Kenna waits for the four minutes until they are finished. When they are done, she leads Bash into the garage through the door connected to the kitchen.

"Seems like you've made quite the impression on my brothers. I've never ever seen you play on a PlayStation," she says, crossing her arms.

"I've never had one. I prefer hanging outdoors than playing on electronic games. Guess I'm a quick learner," Bash replies, looking around. He spots her parents' cars. "I'm guessing the Aston Martin belongs to your father and the Land Rover is your mother's?"

Kenna nods in confirmation. "These are their everyday cars. They have cars in storage out back."

"There are more?"

"Yeah, but that isn't why I asked you here."

He nods. "You needed help, right? I'm guessing it involves a ladder because you didn't ask Douglas because of his leg nor Alexander because of his expensive five-piece suit."

She laughs. "Lachlan's afraid of spiders so I couldn't ask him either," she teases. "No, that isn't why I asked you here. I don't need help - I need to let you know something."

"Sounds serious," Bash mumbles, placing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm glad you're here," she starts off saying. "Adi should have a normal Christmas for once so I'm happy we aren't arguing or anything."

"Me too. It was my fault he never pretty much had a normal Christmas," Bash says quietly. "Maybe being in Scotland is really good for us all. We could have Christmas here every year. Next year, we'll have our new baby."

He walks up to her and spins her around so, her back lies against his chest. He places both his hands on her small bump, rubbing it slightly.

Kenna falters. "About that... Bash, the baby might not... be yours."

Bash stops rubbing her bump and sighs. "Antoine? For real this time?"

"Bash, I've only ever been with you and I felt horrible every time I slept with him."

She's surprised when he doesn't push her off him. She feels him settle his chin on her shoulder.

"We'll figure it out," he whispers sadly. "Either way, Adrien will be a big brother. T-That's a good thing."

"You're not mad?" She asks him under her breath.

He shakes his head. "I don't have a right to be. You're not my wife anymore and we were separated when you and... I'm sorry Kenna. This time last year, I was blaming you for sleeping with him when you never did. I saw that kiss and all I saw was red. I felt shit. I felt shit because I wasn't the husband you deserved and I felt shit because he was probably treating you way better than I ever did."

She gags and he pulls away from her a little, confused.

"Sorry, morning sickness," she mumbles, holding a hand to her mouth. "Carry on."

He lets out a soft chuckle. "Oh, you had the worse morning sickness during your third trimester with Adi. You never had it at the beginning which was weird, but I remember you wanting to throw up all the time."

"Hmm," she mumbles. "You were saying before I wanted to throw my guts up?"

"If the baby is Antoine's, I think you should let him know. Life is too short to be living a lie. Who knows? We might end up like Francis, Mary and Lola."

She cringes a little. "God, I hope not. They're dealing with that so wonderfully, but I don't think you'd have the patience for it. You really don't like Antoine, it wouldn't work."

"No, it wouldn't," he admits. "It is horrible to say that I'm praying it's mine?"

"No, it's not," she tells him, leaning into his back. "I want it to be yours. You may not be a good husband, but you are a good father."

He smiles. "You were a great wife regardless of what I said about you. You're an amazing mother too and I'm grateful that you're still in my life after everything that has happened between us."

"I'm just grateful that for the first time in almost five years, we're really happy."

"Because we're divorced?" He asks, hurt. But, he knows she's right.

She nods. "Yeah. I have just one question: if Mary and I were trapped in a burning building and you could only save one, who would you save?"

"That's a bit cruel," Bash replies. "You're both important - you have children, families who need you-"

"Just answer the question, Bash," Kenna says gently. "Mary or me?"

_Whose knight in shining armour would you be,_ the words go unspoken from her lips.

"I wouldn't save either of you because whoever I choose, I'd end up losing someone," he tells her. "If I chose you, I'd lose Francis. If I chose Mary, I'd lose you."

She looks down. "Let go of me, please."

He releases his hold on her and she starts walking away. She pauses by the door.

"If I had to choose between you and any other man, I'd always choose you," she tells him.

"Kenna-"

"You think you're so smart with your answer!" She cries out, turning to face him. "It was a simple question, no other factors involved. Forget Francis, the kids, the families. _Just_ Mary or me?"

"I see where this is going," he says, crossing his arms. "You want to know if I still have something for Mary. Jesus, Kenna. You're a broken record."

She rubs her face and shrugs. "It was a simple question," she replies, her voice breaking.

"Fine! I'd choose Mary because I wouldn't have to hear you cry about my past with her every fucking minute."

"You're a real piece of work, Sebastian," she snaps, turning and leaving.

She almost bumps into Alexander, shoving him out of her way and heading to the front door, grabbing his car keys.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going with those?" Alexander calls out from behind her.

"I just need a minute to myself," she tells him, going outside. "Nice car," she tells him angrily. "Better than anything my husband, wait _ex-_husband ever had!" She gets into the driver's seat.

Alex rolls his eyes, getting into the car with her. "Kenna, why the hell did you ask him about Little Mary Stuart? It was going so well?"

She starts the car, turning to him and saying, "You were listening?"

"I wanted to make sure you didn't back out!" He tells her, putting his seatbelt on. "At least put your bloody belt on."

Kenna puts her seatbelt on and drives down the lit driveway and out the gates. She looks left and right and takes the right turning.

"Jesus, slow down. This car costs more than your kid's school tuition!" Alexander cries out as she speeds down the road.

"Of course, it does," she replies, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe him!"

"That he replied to your stupid question?" Alex asks her. "Oh, I _can't_ believe him!"

Kenna growls a little. "You don't understand, Alexander. I've always been second best compared to Mary. If there was a list of people Bash loved, it would have Adrien first, Mary second, his mother, half-brother and that's it. I wouldn't even be fifth - himself would probably be fifth."

She speeds up, a smile forming on her lips. She can tell her brother is getting uncomfortable.

"What?" She grins. "Don't tell me you haven't sped a little in this."

"Don't get me a fucking ticket, Kenna."

"I'll pay."

"Slow down! Do you have a fucking death wish? I didn't come home to Scotland to fucking die," Alex tells her.

She listens, slowing down a great deal before she settles on the speed limit. She didn't come to Scotland to die either.

"Alex, do you think someone will only ever love just me with their whole heart?" She asks softly.

"Kenna, growing up you were spoilt, annoying and everyone bent over to your every beck and call. But, now and seeing you with your son and our siblings, I could see how selfless, mature and happy you were. You were a kid, you didn't know better."

"Answer me," she tells him.

Alex smiles at her. "Of course, Kenna. Someone will love you for just you and they already do. You're no one's second best. If anyone says so, kindly direct them to me and I'll hire a hitman to do my dirty work."

She bursts out in laughter, giggles escaping her lips. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thinks about Bash's dark past. She may be happy and laughing now, but she knew her life was still threatened.

"Shit, I need to go to the petrol station. Get some fuel in this car since you've exhausted all of it," Alex says, reading his meter.

Kenna nods and turns on the indicator so she can turn into the petrol station. Turning into the station, she parks the car and watches as Alex gets out to sort his car out.

As he does, she snoops through his glove box. She finds a packet of cigarettes and cringes. Her parents hated smoking and she smiles a little at her older brother's habit.

She finds some of his cards and a bottle of branded perfume. She jumps when she hears knocking on the window.

"Stay out of my things!"

"I was looking for chewing gum," she quickly says.

Alex rolls his eyes and points to the compartment beside her by the controls. He watches as she closes the glovebox and opens the compartment, grabbing the gum.

"Thank you!" She grins at him.

She places the gum back when he heads inside to pay. She starts humming, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket.

She ignores the call, admiring the scenery outside as she drums her fingers on her lap.

Kenna doesn't know how to feel. She knows she set Bash up to say the wrong thing, but she had hoped he would choose her. That he'd always choose her not that it mattered.

They weren't together, she had no right to force him to remain loyal to her. She remembers Rowan and how horrified the redhead had been when she told Kenna about hers and Bash's one-night stand. The week after she and Adrien left for England, he went back with her. That didn't seem apologetic.

She feels a tear slip down her cheek and she wipes it, placing a hand on her unsettled stomach. The morning sickness was hell for this pregnancy and her body aches all over.

The passenger door opens and Alex gets in, shoving a pack of dark chocolate into her hand.

"Merry Christmas. That's your early present," he tells her, handing her a tissue. "You're crying."

She sniffles, wiping her tears. "I'm just feeling the symptoms of pregnancy," she says quietly. "No one will ever love me, Alex. It must be _me_ that's the problem, right?"

Alex sighs heavily, shaking his head. "From what I've seen, it's not you entirely. Douglas explained some of the things happening in your life and I've deduced that Sebastian was just not for you. Men like him, emotionally traumatised, they don't hold long relationships. He has commitment issues."

"And me?"

"You act on impulse, Kenna. You're excitable. You use others to get what you want and you never hold your hands up to your mistakes. I can't say for what you did within the many years we've been estranged, but as a teenager, you weren't the best of people."

"Wow, soften the blow," she snaps.

Alex shakes his head. "You were borderline reckless. You were shallow and vain. You only did everything in _your_ interests. I was genuinely surprised when you said you had a kid. When you were thirteen, I remember thinking that you should never be a mother otherwise you'd ignore the poor child."

"Alexander, stop-"

"However, the years have seemed to have changed you. Your kid is really sweet, Kenna. You brought him up well and I'm just sad that the first five years of his life were like ours. Regardless of that, he's turned out well."

She releases a small sob, closing her eyes. "He deserves the world and so does this baby inside of me... They're my world, Alex and I don't know how I'm going to do this. I love them with all of my heart, but I'm so messed up, I can't even..."

"Kenna, I don't know what to say..."

"Alex..., what I told you about the past six years - I was really messed up. Like, unbelievably messed up and depressed."

"What do you mean?" Alex asks, fear in his voice.

Kenna looks away. "Nothing. Nothing, don't worry about-"

"No," he cuts her off, turning her cheek so she could face him. "Tell me. What haven't you told us, Kenna?"

"I... I just wanted the pain to stop."

...

_The Christmas Eve of the Previous Year, Twelve Months Ago_

Kenna finished wrapping the last of the presents she had got for everyone and placed them under the tree. It was just a few last minute gifts, her main ones already being wrapped and ready for tomorrow.

Getting up, she stretched and stifled a yawn. It was late and she was so tired. If not for Bash still being out, she would have wrapped the presents early the next morning.

She had hoped to fix their marriage a little as it was Christmas. Some Christmas spirit never hurt anybody and with the miscarriage, she needed all the spirit she'd got - both Christmas and alcohol.

Looking up, the front door opened and soon closed. She stepped outside the living room to greet Bash with a small smile.

"I was wondering when you were coming home. How was work?" She asked, crossing her arms. "I've made dinner, just heat it up and-"

"I really don't want to speak nor look at you right now, Kenna," Bash said, walking past her.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Bash, it's Christmas. We owe it to Adrien to be civil. Also, I love you, you're my husband and I want to spend time with you."

"Call Antoine for that, since you enjoy his company so much. I don't want to spend time with you," he snapped, heading to the kitchen.

She followed, rage flashing in her eyes. "Maybe, I will!"

"You go do that," he replied nonchalantly. "I'll stay and actually parent our child."

"Excuse me? Says the man who spends time away from home _than_ with his son! In the past four years, I don't think you've spent longer than a whole _thirty minutes_ with Adrien, Sebastian!" She cried out. "Look, I don't want to start shit with you. I just want you to understand that Adrien needs us to put our differences aside for Christmas."

"You don't need to put any effort in because I'll help you," he said, turning to her. "By not talking to you _at all_."

She frowned. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I'd rather shoot myself than be in the same room as you."

She stood there, unsure of what to do. She watched him heat his food up, eat it and wash his dishes before leaving the kitchen. She still didn't move.

After a few minutes of composing herself, she went into the living room to see Bash sipping on some liquor.

"Bash, whatever has happened in the past, we need to put them aside for Adrien." She was a broken record, but she'd be damned if her little boy wasn't going to enjoy Christmas.

She walked up to him, stopping about two metres away. She wanted him to forget everything so they could move on and be happy. They could always try again for another baby.

"What if Adrien got another gift from us?" She asked. "A little brother or sister?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in slight frustration and annoyance. He wanted her to stop trying, to stop bothering him.

"You're the most self-centred person I know, I don't even know how you leave some care for Adrien. Wasn't your miscarriage enough sign for you to not have more children?" He snapped, not even bothering to open his eyes as he shook his head. "Why would I even want another kid with _you_? I hate everything you stand for."

"Because I love you?" She replied angrily as she stepped closer to him. She ignored him saying he hated her. "Because you love me?"

"Since when?" He asked her, waving his hand in confusion. "When have you ever loved me? Kenna, we're two strangers raising a kid. I don't even think I know you anymore."

_Anymore? How about never_, she thought bitterly.

He began to walk away and she followed, gripping onto his arm to stop him.

"Let's _talk_, Bash," she told him. "Let me understand why you hate me so much! What did I ever do to you except be there for you, care for you, love you, give you a son? And you say I'm the most selfish woman in the world..."

"I can't say that - I've not met every woman in the world," he replied, looking away and shoving her off.

She gasped, holding a hand to her eye and he turned, frowning.

"Kenna?"

She shook her head, turning and walking off. "I'm fine."

She was shaking and she just wanted to get away. She ran upstairs, ignoring his calls.

"Kenna!"

A few hours later, she pretended to be asleep when he came into their room and got ready for bed. She held her breath when he slipped in the bed beside her.

He kept to his side and she kept to hers. Normally, she'd curl up in his back, ignoring whenever he tried pushing her off him.

Now, he was trying to pull her to him, but she curled up in a foetal position with her back turned to him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Goodnight, Sebastian. And Merry Christmas," she replied quietly, watching the minute strike past midnight on the clock.

_Is it really 'merry' though_, she thought to herself sadly as tears slipped down from her eyes.

She winced slightly when a flash of pain went through her injured eye and she dug her face deeper into the pillow.

She felt the bed shift from beside her and the door open and close a few minutes later.

Curious, she got out of bed and left her room, watching as Bash headed down the stairs and into the foyer. She soon heard a feminine voice giggling quietly.

Horrified, Kenna returned to bed and let quiet sobs escape her lips, shaking her head.

How could she love him when all he ever gave her was heartbreak?

The next morning, she spent a while in the en-suite, placing her makeup on meticulously. Everyone else was already downstairs eating breakfast and she made sure that her black eye wasn't visible.

When she was finished, she planted a fake smile on her face and headed down the stairs, heading straight to her son when she got to the dining room.

She ignored Bash's looks and kissed Adrien on the top of his head and his cheeks, hugging him from behind.

"Merry Christmas, my darling," she said, rubbing some lipstick from his cheek.

Adrien turned to look at her. "Merry Christmas, Mama," he replied before pointing at her eye. "Your eye is puffy."

"Oh, it's an allergic reaction. Tried some new eyeshadow," she said, smiling at Diane as she finally sat down. "I won't be using that one again."

For the rest of their Christmas Day, Kenna avoided Bash and didn't say a word to him at all. After all, he had said that they shouldn't speak to each other so why was he trying to make it up to her with his gifts, flowers and other gifts that were probably meant for his mother.

Just before bed, Diane cornered her and demanded to know what had happened, but Kenna kept quiet about Christmas Eve. She also said that she'd focus on Adrien's wellbeing only.

Leaving the matriarch stunned, Kenna walked into the guest bedroom and settled herself in there. She wasn't going to sleep beside him anymore.

She didn't feel safe.

Heading into the bathroom, she stripped, throwing her clothes onto the floor as she ran a bath for herself.

Staring at herself in the mirror, she rubbed her eyes and winced when she saw that her injured eye was a darker colour than before. Before she knew it, sobs escaped her lips and she slid down the side of the bathtub, not caring about the coldness against her skin.

After a few minutes, she entered the bath and hissed when it was too hot. Not too hot to blister her skin, but enough to scald her skin. The temperature evened out and she closed her eyes, sinking beneath the surface.

Opening her eyes, she studied the world above her as she held her breath. She was certain that she was crying but her tears mixed with the bath water, making her uncertain a little.

She could feel herself slipping away, but she forced herself to remain underneath the water. Just a few more minutes...

Suddenly, she was pulled from the bath and she gasped, water gushing from her nose. She began coughing and turned to see Diane staring at her in shock.

"Wh-What...?"

"Don't... say _anything_," Kenna told her.

Diane shook her head in disbelief. "Are you mad?"

"No."

"Has this got anything to do with yesterday night?" Diane asked, gripping Kenna's chin and turning her face so that the younger woman looked at her. "Did Sebastian do that to you?" She asked, pointing at her eye.

"Of course not," Kenna replied, shaking her head. "We had an argument and agreed not to speak to each other."

Diane frowned. "But the gifts."

"It's Christmas, Diane."

Diane sighed. "Listen. I don't know what that was just now but think about Adrien. He nearly lost you once, don't allow it to happen again."

"Diane, I-"

"Get dressed. It's late and we're all tired. I'll get someone to clean up the mess."

Kenna watched as Diane stood up and retrieved a towel, wrapping it around her frame before the older woman left.

She was right. Adrien needed her.

...

_Present Day_

"He hit you?" Alex asks, disregarding her bath situation.

"It was an accident, but I remember feeling terrified," she explains to her brother quickly. "I was just terrified because of his dad."

Alex nods slowly. "Who was a bit... _rough_, shall we say? So, let me get this - he hit you and when you went to bed, he called up some woman and slept with her?"

"I don't know what they did nor do I care. She wasn't there when we came down to eat breakfast. Adrien spotted my swollen eye despite my efforts to conceal it. I had to wear makeup for two weeks. It was a stubborn bruise."

"I'm going to kill him, _myself_," Alex says, gritting his teeth.

She shakes her head. "It's in the past. It wasn't like he was abusive, Alexander," she stresses. "It was just, little accidents. I'm just prone to bruise easily."

"You said you were _terrified_, Mckenna," her brother states.

"Because images of his dad flashed in my head!" She cries out. "I'm too clingy and Bash had to get me off him. Even the gentlest of pushes on the floor and I'd bruise. I'm not trying to say that he was ever abusive, I'm trying to explain that he never cared about what I thought. He'd happily rent out a hotel room than sleep in the same bed as me. That's why I ended up in the guest bedroom, I didn't want to upset him anymore because we were already on thin ice that was starting to break."

Alex swallows deeply, letting it all sink in. "What about the day he kicked you and Adrien out? What happened that was so extreme, you had to leave the country with your son?"

"I looked through his bank accounts and questioned him about his excessive spending on hotel rooms and _lingerie_," she replies, laughing bitterly. "I knew, but I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt and I asked if we could spend a weekend away from home to sort ourselves out. Then, he found out I looked through his accounts and I demanded to know why he was spending money on lingerie. I asked if it was for his whores and he blew up." She looks down. "Sometimes I was even scared to reach his eyes whenever he spoke to me as if he saw my eyes, he'd accuse me of something or another. I had to emotionally shut down at times to get through a day without arguing. I wanted to end things."

"What stopped you from doing so? Diane?"

She turns to him, nodding a little. "Adrien, too," she whispers, her voice breaking. "I was already broken, but he's my joy. The only reason I had left to smile and be happy. Diane reminded me of that despite what I was going through."

Alexander wipes his own tears before he looks up at her and smiles. "Can I drive my own car now? Or do you want to crash it before I ever get a chance to drive it again?"

She giggles through her tears, nodding and they both get out, switching seats. Alexander then starts the car.

"Kenna, if all he gave you was heartbreak and sorrow, why on _Earth_ did you want to get back with him?"

She blinks in surprise. "I guess when you find your soulmate, you know. Despite the hardship and heartbreak, you'd end up with them. I didn't want to delay the inevitable."

"I don't even know if Archie is my soulmate, Kenna. You need to stop believing in fairy tales," Alex says. "You've always been naive."

She nods sadly. "I have, haven't I? Where were you on my wedding day? You would have carried me over your shoulder and ran away. Stopped me from marrying him."

"Douglas would have, he's got the brawns and I've got the brains. I don't have his muscles," he replies, grinning. "What's his take on Sebastian?"

"He's civil, not too keen on him," she says. "Douglas has always been a not too trusting kind of guy. Now, with being in the Army..."

Alex gives her a nod. "Yeah. I'm not so keen on your Sebastian either. As much as he's good at Fifa, I don't appreciate him hurting you. If it weren't for Adrien and this baby, I wouldn't have let him stay for Christmas and I'm sure our parents wouldn't have either. Did they really have no objections at your wedding?"

Kenna falters slightly. "They did, they even sat at the back. It was horrible, not being walked down the aisle by Dad. They left before the reception started."

"Wasn't that enough sign?"

"Oh, God! Alexander, there were so many red flags." She rolls her eyes. "You're right, I'm impulsive. On my wedding day, I heard him tell another woman he loved her yet, I still went through with it, but I remember wanting to run away and jilt him at the altar."

"He never deserved you," Alex says to her. "You're not perfect, but you still deserve a man who worships you and loves you despite your flaws."

She smiles. "Can we stop talking about me? I feel like all I do is talk about my failed marriage. Let's talk about Archie."

He grins, his eyes lighting up. "What about her?"

"Tell me everything. Earlier was just the lowdown, I want to know her! And how do you guys work together in such a challenging atmosphere? You're bound to be at loggerheads."

"That's the thing. We keep work at work and we never bring it home. Even the hardest of cases and patients, we help each other through that. It's a balance and she's taught me a lot about myself. I never used to cry because of our childhood, but I've let a few tears out since meeting her."

Kenna giggles. "Ah, my emotionally-driven brother. I love you, Alex."

Alex smirks a little. "And I _tolerate_ you, Kenna."

She hits his arm.

...

It's late when they get back, just gone past eleven. Everyone has gone to bed except Bash and Douglas who do their own things at opposite ends of the informal living room.

"Finally got to ride in that car, eh?" Douglas asks, watching her and Alex enter the room.

"She drove, almost killed me until I suggested that I drive," Alex tells him, shoving his legs from the sofa so he can sit.

Douglas glares at him. "There are two other free sofas in this room and you had to come and disturb me on this one?"

"Leave off," Alex replies, grinning.

Kenna ignores her brothers' argument, turning to Bash on his iPad. On the table beside him, there's a glass of liquor. He doesn't look up, focusing his gaze on what's on the device.

Sighing, Kenna sits beside him and rests her legs on his thighs. "I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I'm just stupid, my hormones are not involved. You owe me nothing, I shouldn't have asked that question nor should I have expected you'd choose me because we're not together anymore. Even if we were together, I shouldn't expect to be chosen. You and Mary had something special - we never did. You are just a guy I had a kid for."

"Kenna-"

"Let's find you a room. We can't have your suitcase cluttering up the foyer," she says, getting up.

She heads to Douglas, kissing his cheek and planting another kiss on Alexander's cheek, wishing them 'goodnight'. She also thanks Alexander for the chocolate they shared as they waited in his car, talking.

"Kenna?" Alex calls her as she reaches the door. He warily glances at Bash before eyeing her again. "I really missed you and I'm glad we're home. Goodnight."

She gives him a bright smile, leading Bash to the foyer to collect his suitcase. She silently leads him upstairs and to the right wing, away from her old bedroom where she and Adrien share a bed.

"How many rooms do you have?" Bash asks out of curiosity.

She doesn't turn to face him as she replies, "Eight. There is the master, five of our own rooms and two guest bedrooms. Your mum got the kingsize room and you have the twin beds. Five out of eight rooms are en-suite, so you get your own bathroom. Maybe, Adi can sleep with you if I get too greedy with the duvet."

When she enters the room, she switches the light on and opens the windows a little to air the room out. She figures that no one has used this room in a while.

"You can control the heater in this room. If it gets too hot, the heater has an 'off' setting, just twist the knob left. The en-suite is to your left, there are spare towels in the first drawer in the dresser. Right, this is where I leave you and bid you 'goodnight'."

"Where's your bedroom?"

She frowns. "Why?"

"Remember when Adi was three and he started sneaking into bed with us? And on Christmas that year, he had the biggest smile on his face waking up between us before he began yelling the place down for food," Bash tells her.

She blinks in surprise. "Of course, I remember. We had to wean him off sleeping in our bed, so we could..." She blushes, thinking about the same actions that got her pregnant now. "Bash, I don't think that's a good idea. Considering last Christmas, I woke up with a black eye."

"I regret a lot of things, that most of all. Mistake or not, I'm sorry I hurt you. Please, Kenna - this is the last Christmas we'll have _together_ with Adrien. We're already divorced, what's the worse that can happen?"

She crosses her arms, shaking her head. "No. Goodnight, Sebastian," she replies, turning and heading to the door.

She stops when she hears him say something to her.

"I'd choose you."

Tears spring to her eyes and she curses, turning to face him angrily. "No! You had your chance and blew it. It's too late to tell me-"

"I was scared, okay? I was scared to tell you that I'd choose you because," he stops himself, eyes wide.

"Because?" She prompts him, the anger and hurt still in her eyes.

"I had to stop myself from literally begging you to try and make things work. God, I love you, Kenna! So much, my heart hurts because we're apart."

She gapes at him, shocked at his words. She watches as he runs his hands through his hair and turns away from her.

"Look at me," she says breathlessly. When he does, she continues with, "We're toxic, you do know that?"

He nods. "I know. And it's all my fault, if I had just forgotten about Mary when we got together, we wouldn't even be here. We'd be happy with _our_ kids. Probably talking about a third or fourth baby. You gave me all of you and you never stood a chance because I wasn't all there for you. I can count on one hand the number of things I've done for you, but the number of things you've done for me is endless. Making me a father, for starters. I know we're toxic, despite that I still love you and I always will."

"Just this night," she finally says. "Give me five minutes to change."

"I've seen it all," he teases her lightly. "Yeah, give me five minutes too."

She nods. "I'll leave the door open when I'm done so you know which one's my room."

She leaves and heads to her room, smiling at the sight of Adrien's small frame flayed across from the middle of her bed. She pulls the duvet from under him, not surprised that he sleeps like a log. He can sleep through anything.

She changes in her bathroom, just into an old university shirt and some cotton pyjama bottoms. She wasn't feeling well enough to wear something more appealing nor did she care. She stopped caring about how she dressed after she left Bash for the first time. Not like he was appreciating her or anything.

Staring at herself in the mirror, she runs a hand through her locks, admiring the colour. Bash always loved her light brown hair, but with the caramel highlights, she loved herself for the first time in a long time.

The small changes she made were all the better for her. Styling her hair differently, wearing her handmade clothes from when she practised sewing from her childhood and teenage years...

"There's our bohemian girl," her mother had teased her when she came down the stairs in a flowery pink number last week. "Where have you kept that thing hidden?"

"There's a bunch of them in the attic, Mum," she had replied, smiling happily. "I'm surprised it fits," she said, patting her bump.

She heads back into her room, tutting slightly that Adrien has made his way to her side. She's glad he's a petite boy even with his ravenous diet.

She opens the door and turns on her lamp, getting into bed and pushing Adrien into the middle. She lays down, pulls the duvet over them, running her hand through her son's hair as he snores.

"You'll be a great big brother," she whispers into his ear.

His eyes flutter a little, but he remains asleep and when she hears someone enter the room and close the door, she looks up.

"Stay on your side," she tells Bash as he gets in. "I'll be pushing him to you to have more space - you were warned."

"That's fair," he replies softly. "You are technically two people on that side."

She giggles softly. "I remember when he was so little. We didn't put him in his own crib until he was twelve months," she says, kissing Adrien's head. "He's growing so quickly, soon he'll be off to university. Or travel the world or whatever he wants to do. It's not like we don't have the money to support his dreams. I'd still like him to be independent. He's too much of a 'mummy's boy', not that I'm complaining."

He laughs a little, nodding. "If I'd spent a little more time with him and not away, maybe he'd be a 'daddy's boy'."

"No, he's too sweet. Not that you're not sweet or anything, but Adrien's too innocent."

"Hmm, he is," Bash agrees, pulling Adrien into his chest. "There you go. There's your space."

She pouts. "Not now, I want to cuddle him."

Bash shakes his head, bringing Adrien closer to him. "He's my little prince. Just for five minutes?"

"Fine."

...

"Merry Christmas!" Adrien screams into her ear the next morning.

She groans, gently pushing him to Bash who jolts awake. She settles back into her pillow and closes her eyes.

"Wake up!" Adrien tells them. "It's _Christmas_. I need to see what Uncle Dougie and Uncle Alex have got me!"

Bash yawns, ruffling Adrien's hair. "Hmm, go on. Mama and I'll be down in a bit. Do you know where Uncle Dougie's room is?" He asks receiving a nod. "Alright go and scream in _his_ ear."

When the weight on her bed shifts and the door opens and closes, Kenna turns to Bash laughing.

"Oh my God, you _didn't_."

"They better get used to him screaming the whole place down."

She winces a little. "But Dougie wouldn't like that - he was in the Army remember?"

"Oh, fuck," Bash mumbles, getting out the bed and out the door. "Adi! No!"

Bash soon returns, peeking into her room.

"Well?" She asks.

"Douglas is already awake, downstairs making breakfast. He was prepared, apparently."

She laughs, getting comfortable. "Well, since _you're_ awake, I'll be asleep until eleven."

"You always slept late anyway," he tells her under his breath, heading to her bathroom.

A few hours later, Kenna stares at the dresses on her bed. Neither of them fit her anymore because of her small bump.

The first dress was a blue satin dress with a black lace belt. She remembered the day her mother surprised her with the lace and she got to work on her dresses.

She smiles sadly, folding the dress delicately and placing it in a white box, tying a black bow around it. She wrote her sister's name on the gift card and sealed it with a kiss.

The next dress was a lilac, flowery one. It was strapless and flowed to the floor. If it wasn't for the tight waistline, reminding her of her slim days, she would have worn it.

This was the dress she wore when she formally met Bash. It was at her and Mary's joint birthday party and they had been introduced by Mary. Not too long after, Kenna was drowning her sorrows outside with a bottle of champagne and Bash had come outside to escape the party. They kind of hit it off, mostly because of the alcohol, but everything was flirtatious, she realises now.

He initiated a hug then and she hugged him back shyly. It was more of a consolation hug and she refused to tell him why she was upset. They barely knew each other. He even offered to dance with her.

She remembered singing and dancing, his surprised expression as she tried to ignore the pain in her heart.

...

_Twelve Years Ago_

She was certain that she had panda eyes. It was meant to be a happy day, but she didn't feel happy at all.

Her brothers had walked out of her life, never to be heard from in _years_. Today, it was the second anniversary of when Alexander left when she was just fourteen.

She had gone to celebrate her and Mary's birthday - as they were a day apart - and returned home to her father's silence and mother's tear-filled eyes. There was a letter, stating that Alexander had wanted to be his own person, their home was suffocating him and the pressure of being the eldest son and child was getting to him.

She took a long sip from the bottle, sniffling. It wasn't long until a sob escaped her lips and she rested her head against the cool railing of the balcony.

She wished either of her big brothers would call her. It wasn't as if she'd tell their father or her mother. She just wanted to know if they were safe and if they were eating well.

She quickly wiped her tears when she heard footsteps behind her. They stopped beside her and a hand reached out for the bottle she held.

Willingly, she gave the bottle to Bash and he sipped from it, returning it back to her with a small smile.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He asked.

"What is?" She mumbled.

He gestured to the sky. "The stars. How bright they're shining."

"Considering what I've been told about you, you must be drunk," she replied.

He grinned a little. "If I'm drunk, you must be _sadness_."

"Urgh, wouldn't you like to know?" She muttered darkly.

"What's wrong? What has a beautiful, wealthy woman like you got to be sad about? Especially when there's a party being hosted in your honour?"

She rolled her eyes, biting her lips as tears filled her eyes. Rich people had problems too.

"Shall I guess?" He asked.

She shrugged. "You won't ever get it."

"Your heel broke?"

"No." She rolled her eyes.

"Your dress is ripped somewhere or there's a stain. Must be horrible for a birthday girl."

"No." She tutted in annoyance.

"You lost a piece of jewellery."

She shook her head, her Swarovski jewelled headpiece tingling a little as she did so.

"Boyfriend issues?"

She scoffed. "What boyfriend? They all run in the end."

He winked playfully. "Hit a chord there, didn't I? If you need advice on guys, as a Frenchman from the City of Love, I'm here."

"Do you really know anything about love? If I did have issues there?"

He shook his head. "No," he admitted. "Guess I shouldn't give you advice."

"Considering you and Mary..." She trailed off, waving her hand dismissively. "Sorry, shouldn't have brought her up. You just... _surprised_ me. She told us everything and meeting you, I would understand why. You're gorgeous, saying that as a woman admiring a man."

He smirked a little. "Thanks, I guess? You're beautiful, too. Mary speaks a lot about you in particular. You are a puzzle."

She sighed, starting to hum a small melody before singing some lyrics. She gave him the bottle, singing and dancing.

"..._If any word that you said could have made me forget. Would I get up off the floor, 'cause this is all in my head..._"

She suddenly stopped, feeling the urge to throw up. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she groaned out in frustration.

"I'm not normally a wreck," she explained to him, sitting down on the bench.

He joined her, giving her the bottle from which she sipped from it, almost downing it fully.

"Again, why are you sad?" He asked her.

"What's there to be happy about when no one loves you?" She replied quietly.

"Is that why you're so downhearted?"

She shook her head, laughing bitterly. "No. That's not even the beginning of it. Why do you care? You don't know me."

"I don't, no. But a woman like you who is known to be happy as Larry all the time shouldn't be so sad. You're too spirited to be sad. Also, it's your day."

She turned to him in surprise. "God, Mary _does_ talk a lot about me."

"You're her best friend, right? Since birth, she says. Your birthday was a day before hers. Why don't you celebrate? Mary said you always had joint parties, but I only see one birthday girl in there."

"I don't feel like celebrating," she whispered. She bowed her head. "This year gets the award for the shittiest birthday ever. Sixteen, my arse."

He offered her his hand, placing the bottle down. "Hey, Sadness? Want to dance?"

She looked back inside to notice that the band were playing her favourite song. It was an old song and she knew Mary had a hand in that.

She shakily took his hand and stood up, his other hand resting on her waist.

"Nice dress," he said as she placed her other hand on his shoulder.

"You're inclined to say that, it's my birthday," she mumbled sadly.

He nodded. "But you genuinely look beautiful."

They began to dance, just swaying side to side with her head rested on his chest. She barely knew the guy and she accepted a dance with him. At least his company was nice.

"So, why did you come?" She asked out of curiosity, drawing back slightly to look at him. "Considering you kissed the other birthday girl and her boyfriend, your brother, is here."

"I wanted to just enjoy a good party. I'm going back home to France tomorrow."

She nodded. "How is England going for you? My friends and their families all moved here from Scotland. We live relatively close."

"Imagine having your best friends since childhood following you into another country," he teased her. "Must be wonderful. I'm not really a _friends_ kind of guy. A lone wolf."

She laughed, looking up into his eyes. "Oh, I love good company. I can count on the girls to never leave me. We have this crazy bond, I love them like sisters.

"Francis is my only friend, I guess. And England is lovely, thanks for asking. I did some studying here at a boarding school before I returned."

He dipped her, making her giggle loudly. He then lifted her, spinning her around.

"I hate dancing," he said, making her back land flush against his chest.

"I wouldn't have realised," she said breathlessly. "You're so elegant in your moves."

"That must be sarcastic because I'm not known to be elegant at all."

She could feel his breath on her neck and her heartbeat was loud in her ears. She shivered and soon, he draped his suit jacket over her shoulders.

"You ought to redo your makeup. No offence, but you look terrible."

She laughed. "Thanks. For that and everything."

"Hey, if you want to avoid the awkward stares, there's a ladder on the side that you can escape from."

"I left my makeup in my dad's car," she told him.

"I could get Mary to go to you. Come on, Beautiful, what's it going to be? Hide from everyone for the rest of your birthday party or fix your pretty face and party like there's no tomorrow?"

She grinned. "Okay, you've convinced me."

"Really?"

"Yes, Mr Stranger."

"Well, then," he said, leading her to the ladder. "Enjoy your birthday, Kenna."

She was surprised when he hugged her. A small smile settled on her lips as she replied, "Thank you, Sebastian."

"Who are you wearing? Prada, Gucci or Dior?" He teased her. "What designer brand has caught your liking?"

She shook her head. "Neither. I made it myself," she said before disappearing down the ladder.

She missed the look of intrigue on his face as he smiled, turning back into the hall.

...

_Present Day_

Biting a lip, Kenna picks the lilac dress up and smiles.

She swears she has a looser dress in the same colour and she does, tucked in her antique trunk her great-great-grandmother used to own and gave to her father when he was a baby shortly before she died.

She used it to store her designs and every piece of wonderful memories she had growing up.

She never wore this short dress before and it had sleeves and intricated lace designs of flowers on the skirt. The bodice was loose and the neckline was round.

She wears the dress, admiring her growing figure in her mirror. It's shorter than she remembered and it's because she never added the intended lace bottom before she stopped sewing and making things.

"Kenna, hurry up!" Her sister calls out, entering her room. She immediately gasps at the sight before her. "God, you're so beautiful! Even pregnant and I hate you for that."

Kenna giggles. "It's an old dress. I think I made it for you, I can't remember, but since it's Christmas..."

"It's lovely, Kenna. Now, we're opening gifts. Adrien's convinced us to do it before lunch."

They head downstairs and Kenna settles for wearing her house slippers as opposed to heels. Her feet hurt anyway. She places Paisley's gift under the tree.

"Merry Christmas," she says to her parents, hugging them and moving on to wishing everyone else the same.

She spots Bash eyeing her as he and Lachlan plan their next strategies for their Fifa game.

Smiling to herself, she heads over to Alexander and Archie who seem to be arguing about something quietly.

"I've got to go. I have to stop by my parents' house," Archie tells him, looking up to give her a smile. "Hey."

She gives them a bright smile. "I hope you're not leaving to your family's because it's a madhouse here," she teases her.

Archie smiles a little. "Not at all."

"If you need to go then you need to go," Kenna replies. "Christmas is time for family after all."

"Don't go until we've done the presents," Alex tells Archie. "I've got you something."

"Alex-"

He quickly cuts Archie off with, "It's not anything _expensive_, I promise. I just need a few minutes with you alone."

Archie eyes him suspiciously and Kenna smiles, leaving them and watching as he leads Archie out of the room.

She sits next to Douglas, nudging his shoulder gently. "Hi."

"I didn't get you anything," he says.

"I know," she replies. "Alex got me chocolate that only cost him one pound. I feel so cherished."

He chuckles. "He buys Gucci and other designer stuff for his fiancée yet, he spends a _pound_ on his siblings. Feel very cherished, Kenna."

"I will," she says laughing. "You scrub up nice."

Douglas turns to her. "Ma took me for clothes shopping the other day. My physique has changed since I was last here. I've given most of my old stuff to Lockie."

"I doubt they'd fit. He's a scrawny little thing," she replies, earning a glare from Lachlan. "Are you enjoying Christmas so far?"

"Hmm," he mumbles. "I certainly enjoy our parents trying to set me up with an old family friend. Remember Genevieve?"

"Genevieve who went to France or Genevieve who studied in Australia?" She asks.

Douglas frowns. "Which one is more wealthy?"

"Ah, Genevieve who studied in Australia."

"That's the one," he tells her. "She's lovely and we got talking when I went to Church for the first and final time in years, but I'm not ready to date anyone."

Kenna pats his knee and says to him, "You'll get there. Who knows? Maybe, Lucy will come home."

Her brother hides a wide smile. "You remember Lucy?"

"We _all_ remember Lucy and her, you know, flashing everywhere when Dad caught you both in his car. Not surprised he sold it and bought the exact model. I'd have nightmares if that was my car you both did it in!"

"Hey, I was sixteen - cut me some slack," he says, laughing. "Right, who wants to open presents?"

Adrien jumps up. "Me! Mama, can I go first?"

"Of course," she replies, watching as Douglas stands and picks the boy up into his arms.

"Adrien, you've got many presents this year! Guess how many are for you, kiddo," he tells the child.

As her family go about opening their presents and helping Adrien with his, Kenna hangs back with Alex.

"Where's-"

"She had to go, she did say," Alex cuts her off, crossing his arms. "Don't think any of those gifts under the tree for you are from me. I got you your present."

She giggles. "Of course. I loved it, thanks."

"I wonder what _Sebastian_ got you," he says, saying her ex-husband's name in disdain.

She gives him a warning look, hoping no one caught on. "Just leave that for another day. And I don't care what he's got me, we're not married anymore. I'm just the mother of his kid. Maybe this one if I knew who the father was."

"I'm sorry," Alex replies. "I don't mean to drag anything up today. Hey, let's open some presents."

She watches as he joins their family and guests, handing a large present to Adrien.

A smile graces her lips when her son calls her and she swallows deeply, saying, "Say thank you to Nana and Pépé."

She pushes the memories of last year away, focusing on what she has this year and what she will gain next year.

By May, she will have two children. The idea is daunting to her even though she's very excited. If she hadn't lost the baby last year, this baby would have been her third child.

She looks away, tears springing to her eyes as she excuses herself to use the toilet.

The excuse is partially true, her bladder has been uncontrollable.

Heading upstairs, she goes to her room and starts clearing out her trunk.

The trunk was filled with her childhood, her teenage years and she'd lost herself.

Over the years into her adulthood, she had ditched the flowery patterns for solid colours. Lace for silk blouses and pinstripe skirts. Jewelled headpieces for simple hairbands. Colourful wedges for court heels. Sometimes she even wore _jeans_. Jeans and band tees. Converse, trainers...

She gathers the dresses and put them onto her bed. She hopes she will have a daughter this time so her dresses could go to her.

Sniffling, she sits on her bed and sighs, running her hand over the material.

She can't believe that she had changed so much over the years, that _he'd_ changed her over the years.

She turns when she hears a knock on her door and she sees Bash standing there with a small gift box in his hand.

"I wasn't expecting you to get me anything," she tells him, wiping her tears away.

Bash steps into her room, closing the door behind him. "It's a small gift. It's more like a return gift," he replies, handing her the box.

Kenna opens it and frowns when she sees her former wedding ring laying on the plush material.

"Bash, this is your family heirloom-"

"It's not worth much, but it's priceless and it deserves a better home than my mother's jewellery box. She insisted," he says.

"Give it to your next wife," Kenna tells him.

Bash smirks a little. "Would it be pompous of me to still offer it to you? Keep it, it's yours and it looked at home on your finger. Honestly, Kenna."

She finally nods, placing it on her right ring finger. "I didn't get you anything."

"I've got everything I want, don't worry."

"What did you get?" She asks.

"A new start, my son's wonderful company and this baby which may or may not be mine," he tells her. "This Christmas is better than last year's."

She smiles. "I agree. I'm sorry for using my, you know, against you. It was an accident, but we weren't in a good place and..."

"And what?"

She clears her throat, shifting the dresses back into the trunk and patting the bed beside her. She makes herself comfortable when he sits down.

"You remember that I slept in the guest bedroom, right?" She asks him.

"Yes."

She bits her lip nervously before saying, "Well, I went to take a bath and kind of didn't want to come up for air after I went under the water. Your mum got me out - I never told her that you hurt me. I was upset, terrified and I didn't know where my head was at."

"Have you ever tried something like that before?" He asks, not looking at her.

"Honestly?" She sighs softly. "Yeah. Last year was a really dark time for me. I felt like I couldn't escape. We weren't doing too great and I wasn't happy. I tried. God, _I tried_. I guess Christmas wasn't enough to put that off. I haven't tried anything like that since I Ieft France."

"Good," he says. "I'm sorry. It's my fault that you... I used to be able to make you smile and laugh. Remember your sixteenth birthday party?"

Kenna lets out a small smile. "Of course, I do, _Drunk_. I vaguely remember waking up with your suit jacket and a hangover."

She gets up, heading to the last drawer of her dresser. She opens it and retrieves a navy blue suit jacket, handing it over to him.

"I never thought about it until now. You went to France and I never heard from you in years until we started dating. Thinking back," she starts. "Our relationship was very confusing. Wasn't it nine months we dated then got engaged and married within two weeks?"

"Yes, our relationship was confusing and yes, we were quick to start our lives," he replies, wearing the jacket. "Still fits."

She grins. "You're _gorgeous_."

He stands, taking her hands. "And you're _beautiful_."

"Ahem," she says, smirking.

"And _wealthy, Sadness_." He chuckles. "The dress you're wearing. It's like the one you wore when we met. Coincidentally at your party."

"I didn't know you'd notice."

He pulls her closer, whispering into her ear, "You were stunning. I couldn't believe you made it yourself. You're talented. Without me holding you back, you can do whatever you want. Maybe, start your own business."

She scoffs. "With what time? I'll have two kids to care for and what about support, funding-"

"I'm sure your father will happily use the money you got selling your family's shares back to mine. You're really talented. Shows how much I know about you because you never were creative after we got together."

"People change," she says. "That was my past. _You_ are my past."

She lets a nervous chuckle when he steps closer, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Remember the song we danced to?" He asks.

"Y-Yeah," she breathes out.

"Sing it," he says.

She laughs, singing softly as he brings her even close to his chest and they slow dance.

"I hate dancing," he tells her.

She stops singing and says, "I wouldn't have realised. You're so elegant in your moves."

"That must be sarcastic because I'm not known to be elegant at all," he replies, smiling a little.

They continue dancing in silence and she leans her head against his chest. She can hear his heartbeat and she smiles to herself, hearing it skip a beat.

"Kenna?"

"Hmm?"

"What I said yesterday, I never meant to put all that on you."

She looks up at him. "Did you really mean it?"

"Every word."

"Then, we start from the beginning. We do things properly and take things slowly."

"Where have I heard that before?" He teases her, nodding. "I promise you, next Christmas, you'll be so happy. No black eyes or divorces or uncertain paternities. You, me and our two children. Scotland or England or France, we'll be happy."

She grins. "I guess it's better, that I didn't start looking for a house here. I want to go back to England. Spending time with my family made me think about the important things. I can always visit them and Adrien is already used to living in England. Although I'd like if we didn't live together just yet. I still own my apartment in London, you can stay there."

He nods. "That's fair. I guess being around each other all day, every day would be hard. We should also take the chance to see a therapist. It will be good for Adrien too, this affects him a lot. Us separating then getting back together only to split up again and... He needs stability."

"I don't want anyone to know just yet..." She trails off, leaving his arms and locking her door. "I want us to be at a solid stage in our relationship before we tell everyone."

"Yes, that sounds understandable. Why did you lock the door?" He asks watching as she unzips her dress.

She gives him a look. "I can't get any more pregnant, can I? Let's call this your _Christmas gift_. Come and unwrap me."

His lips meet hers and she smiles happily, her arms wrapping around his neck.

This Christmas was certainly better than their last one.


	14. Chapter 14

Kenna resists the urge to roll her eyes as her parents question her about going back to England. She doesn't tell them any more than that as she would be stuck in their company for hours.

It's a new year now and she was trying to rebuild her family. She had many things to prepare for; her new arrival, Adrien's new school for when he returned from France in Easter, finding a job...

"I just think you should stay a little longer. You will be all alone in that house," her father says, keeping his voice neutral. "Until Easter at least and then, Adrien can visit us and you can both go back to England when the holidays are over."

"Dad, if I don't go now, I'll never leave," Kenna says, laughing a little. "I've got to move on and I'm rebuilding my life. It's fine. Mary and Francis are across the road if I need anything and all my friends are there. I can help Greer a lot more with Adrien being in France for the time being."

Her mother nods. "I guess Greer would appreciate your help. How far along is she now? Twenty-nine weeks, right?"

"Yeah," Kenna replies, smiling brightly. "Our babies will be age mates! She's due in March and I'm due in May. I can't believe I'm 18 weeks gone... Feels like a lifetime away."

Her father studies her, saying, "Alexander told us something before he left. Is it true that Sebastian may not be the father?"

She almost breathes a sigh of relief when she learns that Alexander didn't tell them of her _attempts_ and she plants a small smile on her face.

"Yes, it's true. I've told Bash and he says we will get through it together," she tells them. "I was unhappy and sought comfort in Antoine's arms. I regret using him, but I don't regret how I ended up with him in the first place."

"Are you in a good place, Kenna?" Her mother asks.

Kenna nods. "I am, Mum. I'd rather not continue this conversation-"

"He also told us about your attempts, shall we say?" Her father cuts her off. "Mckenna, you can tell us _anything_. I may not have been the most attentive father in the world, but I still do care and love all of my children regardless of their mistakes. I forgave your brothers for leaving so unexpectedly, didn't I? I forgave you for cutting ties with us for six years, too. I just want the best for you all and for you to be happy. Now, tell me - are you _happy_?"

Kenna glances downwards, swallowing deeply. She knew that she had him promised to keep them a secret, but her parents meant the world to her and she wasn't going to let her relationship with Bash destroy her relationship with her family again.

"Bash and I are back together. I am happy, very much so," she tells them, hoping that Alexander never brought up the incidents that occurred during their arguments.

"Right," her father says, processing her words. "But you divorced each other, wasn't that a sign?"

"It was a sign," Kenna agrees, nodding. "That he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We didn't start off on the best terms, but we've grown stronger and we have kids. I didn't make this decision lightly, Dad. So many factors destroyed our marriage and we won't let them nor new ones destroy us now."

Her mother tuts. "His father, Henry Valois, is a really terrible person. He's greedy, he's power hungry. You need to stay away from that, from _them_. The Valois-Poitiers family."

"Including Mary's husband, Francis, and Adrien?" Kenna snaps. "Because they've got the Valois blood in them too. So has Bash and those three have nothing to do with Henry. Look, both Francis and Bash have taken over their company - they'll do better than their father."

"Mckenna, you were hurt once. You admitted it, it took leaving him to come home to us."

"He never stopped me from coming home," she tells them. "I just didn't want to, that was on me. Just like Douglas and Alexander, we all _chose_ to come home with no other factors involved. I somewhat enjoyed my time in France. I had a job, Bash, Adrien and Diane. Then it all began to crumble and I couldn't stop it from unravelling. I had no one so I left France for England and seeing Douglas when he turned up in France whilst I stayed for Adrien for the Summer... It made me choose to come home, Bash even encouraged it. He has been encouraging me to contact you throughout our marriage - he blames himself that I barely spoke to you all."

Robert nods slowly. "So, it was all you? You not wanting to visit Scotland or pick up the phone? Not wanting to let us know that you weren't dead in a ditch? Hell, why am I going for you when Douglas literally put himself on a battlefield?!" He mutters, rubbing his head.

Kenna jumps. Her father never raised his voice and she can see the hurt and pain in his eyes. She realises that he was setting this all aside during the festive period and once the decorations were down, he would air everything out.

"I'll speak with him about that later as it's about you now," he says, a little strained.

She feels like a scolded schoolgirl and when she opens her mouth to speak, he cuts her off.

"Do you know the embarrassment you had brought our family? You had met this man, got engaged and married him within nine months. That would have been fine if you remained in contact with us and it was another man."

She doesn't tell him that she knew him for longer than that nor does she dispute the timeline of her romantic relationship.

"At first, I admit, I was looking at the financial benefits. Two powerful wealthy families united by marriage, but the more I looked into Henry Valois and his sons, I hated everything about your union. They paint Henry as a man who gets rid of people to get what he wants. I've heard the stories about his brother that he named Mary Stuart's husband after," Robert says.

"Dad, what did you find out about Francis and Bash?" Kenna fearfully asks.

Her father gasps. "You know?"

"No," she tells him quickly. "I... I knew that Bash had a past, but I never brought it up because-"

Robert takes his glasses off and rubs his head, shaking it as her mother stares intently at her in shock.

"My grandson's father is a criminal," Robert breathes out in disbelief. "My daughter married a criminal, divorced him and now, she's carrying his child again." He turns to her. "You still want him even though he's probably killed someone with his bare hands? Even if he's broken countless laws?"

She nods slowly. "Sebastian Poitiers is a good man, Dad. He's not Henry and he admitted that his father wasn't the best father to him nor his half-siblings. The man he was isn't the man he is now. Now, he's a normal guy with kids and a woman he loves very much. He loves me, Mum and Dad, he really loves me."

"Or has he manipulated you into thinking that?" Her mother asks quietly. "I observed him as he stayed and yes, he seemed to have the perfect guest act figured out. Nothing was out of place, he was kind and helpful and sweet. He familiarised himself with your siblings, showed us how good of a father he is to Adrien..."

"Mum, if he wasn't a good person do you think I'd be stupid enough to stay with him and risk my children's lives?" Kenna asks her, eyes narrowed. "Do you think I'd allow him to take my little boy out of the country, away from me? Well, guess what? Selfish people are selfish for a reason and call me selfish for loving Bash with all of my heart and for not wanting to listen to you both condemn Bash for the sins of his father! I love him, he loves me and we are together and we're raising our children _together_. End of story."

"Kenna-"

"If you still want to be in my life or my children's lives, you won't speak ill of Bash ever again," she warns them. "Men like Henry, they break women, but he won't break me. These six years have been a wake-up call and a real hard lesson learnt. Henry threatened me and that was the wrong move on his part because his sons don't have his support. Bash is loyal to me and if he's loyal to me, he's loyal to you, my family. He wants to do better and he wants to change his father's ways. He wants to make up for everything he's done to hurt me."

Her father stands, studies her eyes and nods. "Joanna, I think we should help Mckenna with her things."

Kenna's face falls and tears spring to her eyes. "If that's how-"

"It's nine right now," her father continues, checking his watch. "We should be able to make it to England by five this afternoon. Stay with her a few days and settle her in. Then, we can organise how we are going to celebrate Easter with Adrien _and_ Sebastian."

"Dad!" Kenna breathes out, hugging him tightly. "Thank you."

"Well, if he's the one then, I can't dispute that," her father says, looking away from her. "You better hurry, we want to beat the traffic."

Kenna gives her parents a bright smile, kissing her father's cheek. "Dad, I won't let my past mistakes ruin our family again. I've still got to make it up to you all and this time, you will be a part of Adrien's life and my unborn child's. So much happened last year and the years before, I finally feel as if I'm in a good place to be happy."

"Your happiness is all we want, Mckenna," her mother says quietly. "Right, let's get your things packed."

...

Kenna is surprised when she steps into her home and hears her friends yelling out "Surprise!" in front of her.

"Wh-What?" She breathes out, almost laughing as she immediately spots Mary and hugs her tightly. "How...? I didn't tell anyone-"

"Your mum called me," Mary confesses, stepping back so Kenna can hug Lola next. "We wanted to surprise you. God, it's been _ages_."

Tears spring to Kenna's eyes as she hugs Lola tightly, sending a warm smile at Stephane's way. She then moves on to Greer and Aloysius.

"Greer, look at you!" She exclaims, hugging her blonde friend as best as she can.

"Look at you," Greer responds, placing a hand on Kenna's small bump. "How do you look that thin even when you're five months gone?"

Kenna blushes. "Don't, I look _huge_."

"Ahem, compared to me?" Greer asks, hugging her again. "I was beginning to think you were never coming back!"

"I'm sorry. Spending time with my family was all I could ever want for Christmas, but I had to do things for myself so I'm back in England for good, I promise," she tells her friends.

"Well, I guess that calls for some drinks. Don't worry, Lola made sure to get _non-alcoholic_ options too," Stephane teases, heading into the kitchen with Aloysius, Greer and Lola.

As her parents join the others, Kenna greets Francis with a short hug, giving him a small smile.

"I got you something," she says, handing him the gift box. "It's not much and well, I hope you enjoy it."

Mary grins as she leans over Francis's shoulder to get a look at what his present is. He opens it and retrieves a crystal ball with a little message inscribed inside it.

"'_A Friend, A Brother, A Lifetime Forever_'," he says out, a smile playing on his lips. "Awh, thanks, Kenna."

"I gave it to my brother, Douglas, before he left and he always kept it with him. My brothers and sister will always get cheesy phrases from me because we will talk every day, but you... We may not talk all the time, but I do value your friendship and support, Francis," Kenna tells him. "Bash and I may not be married anymore, but you'll always be like a brother to me."

Francis laughs a little. "Thanks. Shit, I didn't get you anything-"

"Anything I got you is from him too," Mary says, laughing. "Just add his name on the cards."

"I wish I was as close to my siblings are you are," Francis says sadly. "I barely see them except Bash. Two are married, God knows where they are... Family is important Kenna and, I'm grateful that you're part of mine."

She smiles, giving him another hug. "Don't worry, Francis," she says softly as he cries on her shoulder, Mary rubbing his back. "Everything will be okay. You and Bash will work it all out. I'm here for you both."

Her eyes meet Mary's and she gives the woman a nervous smile. They're both worried about everything regarding them and Henry, but they needed to support them, not add to their problems.

"If you're done being sappy and all, join us for some drinks!" Greer calls out to them, making them laugh as Francis wipes his eyes.

"You just needed a good cry," Mary tells him, wiping his tears away for him. "My blonde Prince Charming..."

"What?" Francis frowns.

Mary and Kenna share a cheeky look, sending grins to each other as Mary shrugs it off.

"Nothing. Let's go join the party."

...

At midnight, Kenna heads downstairs as her parents remain asleep. She goes to the kitchen and gets a glass and fills it with water.

Heading to the living room, she settles herself on the sofa and sips her water, thinking about the past few years.

She has certainly come a long way from being the woman scorned to divorcée and now, mother of two.

She wants everything to be done properly, she wants to start at the beginning and rebuild her life from there.

_It will be harder_, she thinks. _It's not just me and Adrien. It's me, Adrien and baby, too_.

She doesn't think about Bash's involvement in their lives because they're working on that. Working on not arguing over every little thing and people coming into their relationship and trying to destroy it.

She almost jumps when her phone buzzes beneath her, chuckling to herself at her slight scare. She unlocks it and sees that she's got a message from Alexander, apologising that he's texting so late, but he's on a shift and hopes to talk in the morning when he's done.

Kenna frowns deeply, wondering why her brother wants to talk so badly. Not that it's bad or anything - she's glad that he's trying to maintain a relationship with her and their family - but Kenna has always been good at reading the tone of messages sent to her.

She sends him a text, requesting that they could speak right this minute and soon, he's calling and she answers.

"Alex, what's up?"

"_Were you asleep?_"

"No... I was up thinking," she replies. "Nevermind, what's up?"

She hears him sigh. "_So, you know Christmas?_"

She grins, replaying a certain memory in her head. "Hmm, I know Christmas. Happened about a week and a half ago, right?" She teases him.

He chuckles. "_Yeah. Sorry, I'll get right to it. Well, I lied."_

"Lied about what?"

"_Being engaged._"

Her eyes widen in surprise. "Oh. Right."

"_I didn't want to return home after over a decade away with nothing to show for it. My best friend agreed to play the role, but then I realised I really liked her. I guess you could say she's my soulmate... I told her and..._"

"And," she presses, smirking.

"_She asked to remain friends. Oh, God... I even bought a ring to keep up the charade. Not only did I buy a ring, but I also wanted it to be something she'd really like if it was real. I told her that I couldn't be friends with her, that I'd always want something more and now, I feel like resigning from my position where we work._"

Kenna gasps. "Oh, Alex... I'm so sorry." She sighs, rubbing her head.

She tuts when she realises that Bash was more or less the same. It was her or nothing for him because they certainly didn't remain friends for long and especially after the sex...

"What are you going to do?"

"_How do you do it?_" Alex asks her. "_Remain friends with Sebastian after all he's done and what you've both been through? I know you have the children to think about, but even then. I couldn't go two minutes without seeing Sebastian all over you, flirting and even begging you to take him back. I honestly don't know how you have the strength to resist him again. It didn't work last time, even when he sent you the divorce papers._"

Kenna smiles a little, taking in her brother's rambling. "Alex, breathe," she starts off saying. "And as I told you, Bash is my soulmate. Regardless of everything that's happened, he's the one and I will always love him. I'd admit, I wasn't the smartest of girls back then, going out with men old enough to be my father, but I had a lot of issues. With you and Douglas not being there, with Dad breathing down my neck to make sure I wasn't fucking everything up... I was the eldest after you both left and I had a lot of responsibility. Both mine and Bash's pasts have made us the people we are today, have played a role in hurting our marriage and destroying it. At the end of the day..."

"_Yeah?_" Alex urges her gently. "'_At the end of the day', what?_"

Tears slip down Kenna's cheeks as she says, "Being friends is better than losing them forever."

A memory flashes into her mind.

_"Does this mean that we're trying?"_

_"We're being friends first, Bash. I can't handle anything more right now," she replies quickly. "We used to be friends, let's go back to that."_

_He smiles, planting a kiss on the corner of her lips before opening the wine and pouring them both a glass. He gives one to her and clinks his with it._

_"To friends."_

_"To friends," she repeats softly, sipping her wine. "Roquefort."_

_He grins. "Got it in one."_

And another memory.

_"I'm not going to England, Bash," she tells him. "I'm going to Scotland."_

_"Oh, you're repairing your relationship with your family - that's great! Isn't that what you want? Why does that throw you off?" Bash frowns, taking her hand in his. "If you're scared, you don't have to be. I'm sure they're much better than my family is."_

_She smiles a little. "Yeah, I guess..." She trails off. She finally turns to him. "We need to end things. I can't do this..."_

_Bash lets go of her hand and, rubs his own hands over his face. He has no words. Every step they take, they end up taking ten steps back and whatever he does, he fails._

_"There's no pleasing you," he says lightly. "Kenna, I thought-"_

_"Taking things slow or quickly won't fix us. Whichever speed we go at, it won't help at all. It's going to take more than sweet nothings, sex and empty promises, Bash. I'm sorry like I always am..."_

_Bash nods sadly. "I guess I deserve to be on the receiving end for once."_

_"After I've solved my issues with my family, I'm moving to Scotland to be closer to them. For Adrien's next school year, he will be with me and you can visit whenever you want."_

_"I want you to be happy," he tells her. "I want our son to be happy. If that means without me then..."_

_She can tell he doesn't want her to leave and she doesn't do anything to comfort him when silent tears fall down his cheeks. Her own chokes her up and she turns, laughing at something one of the kids said below them._

_France will be nothing more than a distant memory of failed hopes, dreams and love._

_"I love you," she hears Bash tell her. "I want you to know that."_

_For the first time in years, she doesn't feel inclined to repeat those words back so she just nods._

_"Look at him," she says, pointing to Adrien who is trying to fling his light brown locks away from his eyes. His green eyes. "That's who we love. Now and forever, he's who we love. Promise me you won't stop loving him, won't stop wanting to be there for him."_

_"I promise."_

She realises that she's never told Bash that she loved him since that day.

"He was meant to be my forever," she tells her brother. "We were meant to be happy with our children, our lives... Just happy. Then, everything fell apart and I couldn't stop it - I wasn't strong enough to stop it, but I fell in love with him when I was sixteen. I never told him that because he and Mary had a thing back then and it was so embarrassing. Imagine knowing someone for ten minutes and falling in love with them and believing you were going to make it together in the future."

She takes a shaky breath and sips her water.

"Alex, I-"

"_I've got to go, but thanks, Kenna. You've really opened my eyes,_" Alex says.

Kenna giggles, wiping her tears. "Yeah, talk to you later."

He hangs up and Kenna finishes her water, settling into the sofa in a more comfortable position.

She's afraid. They've attempted to fix their relationship countless of times, running to each other so many times that she's lost count and they end up separating within minutes.

She winces when she feels a twinge in her stomach, letting out a sharp gasp. The pain is intense in her lower abdomen and she breathes through the pain, tears stinging her eyes.

When the pain lessens, she stands and turns to collect her empty cup, gasping at the sight of blood in her peripheral vision.

"No..." She whispers, eyes wide. "No, no, no..."

She can't do this again. Lose another baby. Last time, she was too weak to prevent it, not that it could be prevented, but she just sat there sobbing.

"Mum!" She calls out, placing her cup down and holding her hands to her bump. "Mum!"

The light upstairs switches on and her parents rush down the stairs, her father struggling to put his glasses on.

"Wh-What...?" Her mother catches sight of the blood and her daughter's tears. "Okay, here's what we're going to-"

"I'm losing it. Aren't I?" Kenna whispers, bringing a hand to her mouth as she shakes her head in disbelief.

Her parents flank her sides, her mother's hand rubbing her back in circles as they lead her to the door.

"I'll start the car," her father says, grabbing his shoes and keys.

"Can you get Mary, Mum?"

Joanna nods, saying, "This could be something harmless! I was bleeding when I was pregnant with Lachlan-"

"It feels like last time," Kenna replies, heartbroken. "What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing, my darling," Joanna tells her firmly. "Everything is going to be alright, I promise."

Kenna shakes her head. "Don't promise me that. Last time, my marriage ended and my little boy was so upset. It's _exactly_ like two years ago. Only, Bash isn't here."

"To scream in your face?" Her mother snaps. "You tell your brothers everything and they tell us most of that. Is Bash truly your happiness? What if he leaves you again-"

"We've been over this and now is not the time," Kenna tells her mother, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Get me. Mary. _Please_."

They hear the car start and Robert leads Kenna to the backseat as her mother heads across the road in her slippers, ringing the Stuart-Valois' doorbell.

Francis opens the door a few minutes later, bleary-eyed. "Mrs Beaton, wh-"

"Kenna needs Mary, we're going to the hospital," Joanna quickly says.

Francis's eyes widen in surprise and he heads upstairs, calling for his wife as Joanna waits on the doorstep.

She sees Robert get into the driver's seat and soon, Mary heads down in her pyjamas and two jackets. She gives one to Joanna.

"Aunt Jo, what's going on?" She asks, following the woman to the car as she slips her borrowed jacket on.

"Kenna might be losing the baby," Joanna tells her gently.

Mary gasps, tears springing to her eyes as she stops in the middle of the road.

_"I lost a bit of my soul during the miscarriage. I don't think I've recovered from that," Kenna says. "I can't literally believe I'm pregnant, Mary... I don't know what to do."_

Her best friend's words echo in her head and she composes herself, wiping her tears and gets into the car, taking Kenna's shaking hands in hers.

Her friend is too stunned to react, tears freely slipping down her cheeks and Mary kisses her hands, squeezing them.

"I'm here, I've got you," she tells her.

_"I know," Mary says sadly, placing a hand on Kenna's cheek. "I'm here, the girls are here. You have your family... We're all here to help you out this time. You're not far away in France, you're _home_."_

Her own words echo in her mind and she sighs, trying to steady her quick heart.

Kenna isn't alone. She has her, the girls, her parents in the front seats, her siblings... She's home and they will all be there for her.

...

Mary's eyes close. They feel heavy and she swears she looks horrible. Her eyes are red and blotchy, her cheeks flushed and dry.

She's been waiting inside the waiting room for a while with her Uncle Robert as Joanna is with Kenna.

She had passed out sometime during the journey to the hospital and Joanna had taken it upon herself to remain with Kenna. Six years wasn't going to prevent her from being there for her daughter.

Mary feels scared, not for herself - for Kenna. Losing a baby has already hurt her life once, this could destroy her. Considering her mental state in the past, Mary tries to think about good things and not the time she and Francis lost a baby before James came along.

"Shit..." She mumbles, gaining Robert's attention. "I didn't call the girls."

Robert nods. "Or Sebastian," he says, strained. "Do you have his number?"

She nods, reaching for her pockets. "Shit. I forgot my phone at home. I'm sorry, I-"

"Do you remember any of their numbers?" Robert asks, slightly amused.

"No," Mary replies, smiling a little. "The younger generation, right? Smartphones don't require you to remember numbers no more, except your parents'!"

Robert smiles softly. "I don't have my own either. Come to think of it, I don't have the house key. We just rushed out and closed the door behind us."

"I've got a spare," Mary tells him. "At home though."

They laugh and Mary wipes her face, clearing it from any unfavourable fluids.

"So, you've got John, James and Anne?" Robert asks her.

She smiles brightly. "Yeah, my three precious children..." She doesn't tell him that John's not hers. He's got enough to think about than her chaotic lifestyle arrangements.

"And Francis?"

"He's a really good guy," Mary says with a grin. "I can't believe I ever met him. We were kids when we met, my mum sent me to stay with them during the Summer holidays. I think you remember that time because I came home and learned that Kenna was crying throughout the Summer."

Robert grins. "You _were_ five. Never a day apart or without contact." He glances downwards. "Is Sebastian a good man, Mary? Don't lie to me, I've known you since you were a baby. Your father and I were dear friends..."

Mary nods firmly. "He is. Kenna means the world to him and he'd do anything for his family. I'd admit, things were not so good due to circumstances out of his control, but he adores and worships the ground she walks on."

"I know you were the woman he told he loved on their wedding day," Robert says, turning to her. "I promised my daughter that I'd make an effort, but I need the full story and not glorified extracts."

Swallowing deeply, Mary looks up at him. "Uncle Robert, Bash and I were the past. I was his first love by accident, but he found Kenna. The full story is that Bash loves Kenna. I'm not in that picture and never was because the only woman he sees is your daughter. No other woman, not me... Just Kenna."

"A glorified extract," Robert tells her.

"No. The _truth_. He vowed that if he and Kenna never got back together, there would be no other woman for him. He loves her so much, I can see that. What we had, that was just infatuation. What he and Kenna has, that's more than lust and sex," she says, blushing slightly. "That's true love. They're practically soulmates. He'd do anything for her and Adrien. And this baby... This baby was made from _their_ love and I hope to God, it isn't Antoine's. Because they've fought so hard for each other and they've always wanted a family... This is their moment alone."

Robert remains silent as he looks away, closing his eyes. He lets it all sink in, taking a shaky breath.

"I... I'm going to head back, get our phones and I think my daughter would like it if you called Sebastian," he says, getting up.

Mary gives him a warm smile, standing up and hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Uncle Robbie. I know you have your doubts, but no one else has those except you and Aunt Jo. Kenna is the one for Bash and he's the one for her, that's honestly the full story."

"I thought parents were supposed to be dishing out good advice and truth," Robert says to her, a smile on his lips. "You've all grown so much, my dear and I wasn't there to see so most of the time. Your father would be so proud. I know it so."

Mary's tears fall down her cheeks and she's brought into her godfather's chest, gripping onto him as if her life depended on it. She misses the father she barely knew every day. She named her biological son after him for goodness' sake.

"I wish I had him like Kenna has you," she says, heartbroken.

"I wish he was here too."

"Thank you for helping my mother raise me. Jamie and I weren't the easiest children to raise, but you, Uncle George, Uncle Xander and Uncle Malcolm helped raised us."

"Whenever you need us, we'll be there," Robert says. "Now, let me get those pesky smartphones of ours, eh?"

She giggles. "Yeah."

A short while later, Mary jolts awake when the door to the waiting room opens, becoming disappointed when it's not a medical staff to inform her of Kenna's condition nor Joanna.

She then frowns, pauses and turns back to the person who comes to sit beside her.

"_Alexander_?"

Alex smiles, handing her a cup of coffee. "My dad bumped into me. What are the chances that the hospital where I work at now, is the same one you all live near?"

Mary's eyebrows raise. "You never truly left Kenna, did you?" She asks softly, taking a sip from her coffee.

"No, kind of," Alex admits. "I'd transferred here back in January last year. It was a bit of a shock, seeing you ladies around town and Greer around here. I wasn't ready to face Kenna back then. How is she?"

"I've had no word. It's only been thirty minutes, I think. I don't know," she replies, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I'm just worried."

Alex nods sadly. "Same. My boss gave me a few hours off to clear my head. If she loses this baby, I don't know what would happen to her."

"That's what I've been thinking. Alexander, she has the worst panic attacks and mental state at times. All this drama with her marriage, with Adrien and everything else, has fucked her up. She really loves this baby."

They both sniffle, wiping at their tears as they get comfortable on their seats and wait.

"I could go and ask if there are any updates?" Alex says after ten minutes. "I just can't sit here and wait, I'm not patient like you are."

Mary turns to him. "Yeah, I'll _wait_," she says, smiling softly.

He gets up, pats her shoulder comfortingly and heads outside. As he leaves, Mary sighs and downs her coffee, pulling a face in distaste.

She just hopes that everything would turn out alright.

...

Kenna opens her eyes, turning to see her mother speaking to someone. She moans in slight discomfort.

"Hey, darling," her mother coos, rushing to her side. "How are you feeling?"

"My baby?" Kenna asks her quietly, tears springing to her eyes. "Mum-"

Joanna beams. "It's fine. I told you that there was nothing to worry about. I'll let your doctor explain everything."

Kenna nods, gripping her mother's hand as her doctor explains that she suffered placental abruption. It has been caused by her high blood pressure and Kenna admits that she's been under stress lately. As it's minor, she'll be kept under observation at the hospital until she's fine to go home. He also says she has acute anaemia which can be treated by supplements.

"The bleeding and the pain was like when I had my miscarriage," she says to her doctor when he's finished talking.

"Every pregnancy has different experiences, but I can assure you that it's not a miscarriage at least. I should alert you to the fact that it increases the risk of premature birth, growth problems and stillbirth due to the placenta starting to come away from the inside of the womb wall. There are complications involved for both you and baby and we will do our best to ensure you have a safe pregnancy and delivery. If the bleeding stops and your baby's condition is stable, you might be able to rest at home. This means bed rest, Ms Beaton."

Kenna nods. "_Kenna_ is just fine," she tells him. "T-Thank you. You are certain that I'm not losing it, right?"

Her mother strokes her hair. "Darling, do you need to hear more medical jargon to understand that it's _fine_?" Her mother teases her.

But Kenna knows where her fears are coming from. She's lost a baby before, she's not about to again.

"Mum, last time I-"

"I know," her mother says gently. She turns to the doctor. "Is there any possible chance that we can hear the heartbeat? To put her mind at rest?"

He smiles warmly. "Of course, I'll be right back with the midwife."

He leaves and Joanna turns to Kenna, whispering sweet nothings into her daughter's ear.

"Will this kill me?" She asks her mother. "I almost died last time, I lost a lot of blood and having Adrien, I was severely anaemic. Mum, I can't go through that again!"

"I pray to God to put your mind at rest," her mother says. "You'll be just fine, my sweet."

"What would I need to do? Would I need to sit down or move a lot more? I know he said bed rest, but that could stop blood flow to my legs, right? Or would I need medication? Can I travel to France and see Adrien? Oh, Adrien! I need to wish him 'good morning'. What's the time? Bash would be worried. Oh, God - does he even know?"

Joanna cups her daughter's cheeks, saying, "Calm down. Mary and your father would sort everything out. All you need to do is rest. Please, for the love of God, rest!"

"Okay," Kenna breathes out. "I'll rest. Call Diane, too, though."

"We will call Diane."

"Don't tell Greer, she would be worried and she doesn't need the stress," Kenna adds. "Oh, can you get me some ice cubes? I have a craving for them."

Her mother laughs. "Of course, my darling."

...

Kenna chuckles softly as she settles into the hospital bed, her phone on her ear.

"How do you know I look beautiful? You can't even see me," she says, playfully rolling her eyes.

"_I've already seen you in a hospital gown_," Bash replies. "_When you had Adrien and you still looked beautiful even after losing all that blood. He's fine before you ask for the hundredth time - it's you we need to worry about._"

She smiles a little. "Thank you. As much as I want you here, it's best if you stay because he still has school-"

"_My mother isn't moving until Summer. She will gladly look after him and I can come and see you._"

Her smile fades away slightly when she remembers the time she lost their second baby. How he refused to follow her and Diane to the hospital. The smile returns when she hears how eager he is to visit her.

"No, stay there. Adrien needs you. Just like last time," she says, the last bit quieter.

"_Kenna, I apologise a million times for that. I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I love you so much and I hate myself for hurting you. You never deserved that-_"

"Let's leave that for another day," she says softly. "My parents say that Lachlan and Paisley are coming to see me. Alex is already here - he works here, I never knew that. He hasn't been for long though, just a year."

She hears him shift on the other line before he says, "_I'm happy for you. You're surrounded by your family who loves you. Look, I have to go. Got some things to sort out with the company. I love you._"

She nods. "Yeah, of course. Talk later."

The call ends abruptly and she knows that it was unfair of her to bring up last time no matter how discreet. He's trying, she knows that but sometimes, the past can't be forgotten about. She forgives him, but she can't forget.

"Hey, I've got you some things from home," Mary says, entering the room, holding up a bag. "I've brought Francis with me, Lola's with the kids and will visit this afternoon. We're on shifts for you."

Kenna beams, leaning up slightly to give them both tight hugs. "Sorry for worrying you. It's taken a while for the doctor, midwife and my parents to calm my mind about the baby. It happened last time, the same symptoms and I just started to panic."

"I'm-_We're_ happy you're fine," Francis says, sitting on the chair beside her. "We're still family."

She grins. "About that... We wanted to keep it quiet, but Bash and I... we're _trying_ for good. No more ending things just like that, I want things to work. If not for us, for the kids - they come first."

Francis gives her a nod, patting her hand. "That's good."

"Yeah, I hope it's different this time," Mary says, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I can't go another day with your fake smiles and Bash's brooding."

"Hey, my smiles are genuine!" Kenna retorts. "And we've also thought it was best that he doesn't live with us just yet. We don't want to confuse Adrien and if it doesn't work out..."

"It _will_ work out," Mary tells her firmly, reaching over and brushing her hair from her eyes. "It has to because you both are complete wrecks without each other. You belong together."

Kenna replies with a smile, leaning back comfortably into the bed. "Thank you." She turns to Francis. "How's everything in France? Bash and I were talking and he had to end the call."

Francis's smile disappears and he looks away. "You don't need to worry about that."

"Sounds shady," she replies slightly teasingly, sharing a glance with Mary.

"Francis, is everything alright?" Mary asks him. "I know you'd hate to burst the bubble, but we've had no word from the company and how your father is."

Francis clears his throat. "My mother, Bash and I are sorting it. You don't need to worry your pretty heads about it. All you need to know is by April, we will be happy in England, the company will grow and everything will be alright."

"Yeah, okay," Mary says, still unsure as she and Kenna share a wary look.

"So, did you guys get me chocolate?" Kenna asks with a grin.

They all laugh, with Mary saying, "Dark chocolate as always, pretty."

...

A few days later, she's discharged from the hospital and put in bed immediately when she gets home. Not only was she not allowed to walk and was put into a wheelchair, but Francis had also carried her into bed under her mother's and Mary's say so.

She felt so embarrassed and he hadn't minded, of course, being the lovely friend he was.

"I'm so bored! I've nothing to do," she whines to her mother. "Mum, I want to go out, get in some fresh air!"

Her mother gets off the bed and opens the windows. "There's your fresh air."

"You're joking," Kenna says, shocked. "Mum."

"At least wait an hour," Joanna says, getting back into the bed.

"What's happening?"

Joanna shrugs. "Greer and Lola want to visit you."

"It will be a quick walk," Kenna replies, crossing her arms. "Mum, I'm bored!"

Before her mother says anything, the doorbell rings and Joanna gets up to answer it.

Frustrated, Kenna rolls her eyes and leans back on her pillow. As much as she loves having her mother stay a little longer as her father went home to Scotland, she hates being treated like a child.

She closes her eyes and tries to sleep at least. There's nothing she can do other than sleep, eat and play mobile games. Oh, and Skype Adrien and Bash, and use the bathroom.

"Hey, Beautiful," she hears a familiar voice say softly.

Her eyes snap open and she grins. "Bash! Oh, but I told you not to come!" She cries out, pulling him into a hug and inhaling his scent. "Oh, it's been horrible! I'm not allowed to leave my bed unless I need to use the bathroom. How's Adrien, you didn't tell him I was ill, did you?"

Bash laughs, placing a kiss on her lips first. "I'm good, too, by the way," he teases her, receiving a hit. "I was so scared that I was going to lose you. again" He runs his hand through her hair, kissing her forehead.

"I'm still here. You can't get rid of me that easily," she tells him, smiling. "How's Adrien?"

"He's good, excited to come home to England. He's been telling all his friends that we're moving during Easter. And no, I didn't tell him you were ill," he replies, taking his coat off. "I can't stay for long, just for tonight and I'll go back tomorrow morning."

Kenna frowns, but she knows that he can't stay for long. By April, she'll have him every day.

"Bash... I guess we should talk," she says, watching as he takes his shoes off and gets under the duvet beside her. "About the miscarriage."

"I-"

"I want you to stop apologising, it was a long time ago. I wasn't happy, we weren't in a good place. If it wasn't that we were having sex or arguing, we weren't talking at all. That baby wasn't made from happiness and I guess it was a sign that we were becoming very toxic. I almost died losing that baby and you didn't even bat an eyelid," she says, strained. "I thought that the baby would fix our marriage. That it would show you that I was committed to _you_ and not Antoine. I was so wrong. A baby couldn't have solved our issues. It would have made things worse. That would have meant screwing up two kids with our constant arguing and rapid lack of patience and love for each other."

He takes her hand. "Things will be different. This baby will come into the world knowing that we love them so much _and_ we love each other. It may not fix our marriage because that is over, but it's a start. We will maintain a healthy relationship, we will see someone... Whatever it takes to make sure this works. We're ready to be a proper family, Kenna. _I'm_ ready to be the man you need, the father our children need and I will do everything to make you all happy."

She smiles and leans over to kiss him. "Are you really sure about this? That you can change and be the man I need you to be? Because if you aren't, I can't open my heart for it to be broken again."

"I'm ready, I promise."

"Okay," she says, nodding. "Well, let's make the most of the time we have together. At least until Greer and Lola get here-"

He grins, pulling her to his side. "Now, _that_ was a ploy to get you to stay before I arrived."

"Was it now?" She asks, grinning. "Oh, God, if I was allowed to move a lot, you'd know _exactly_ what I want to do right now."

"Who says you can't?" He asks, kissing her neck. "Do what you want to do right now... You don't even have to move. I'll put in all the effort."

In a quick motion, he's hovering over her as she giggles, covering her eyes.

"Don't tell me you're going to strip tease," she says.

He laughs. "God, it's been _years_. Might as well," he replies, taking his shirt off and pulling her hands from her eyes. "Do you want me to?"

"I have nothing better to do. Might as well get a show out of being bedridden," she tells him, sitting up.

"You're milking this, aren't you?"

She nods happily. "Yes, I am. I won't see you until April so I need you to paint me a _vivid_ picture that I won't forget and will cherish until I see you again."

"You're so funny, do you know that? Honestly, your sense of humour is so crude and I wonder how the girls handle it," he says, laughing.

A blush creeps onto her cheeks as she replies with, "You should see our group chat."

"You're not crude on-"

"_Our_ group chat. The one just for us girls," she cuts him off. "If you think I'm crude out loud, read my messages."

"I pray that you don't talk about our sex life-"

"Oh, honey, that's just the frosting on the cake," she says. "I talked about our sex life all the time and how we broke _three_ beds and smashed a window from when we did it in your mother's conservatory. It used to be interesting until, you know."

He pulls back. "Is it _interesting_ now?"

She shrugs. "Maybe. Made another kid, didn't we?"

"Huh. Somehow, I'm not even surprised that you talk about our sex life. It's _you_ for God's sake, you have no secrets. Especially the bed breaking and window smashing stories," he replies, laughing. "I love you."

"Hmm-hmm," she replies, pulling him closer. "Are you going to keep talking or am I getting a free show or what?"

He smirks, leaning back as his hands find the buckle of his belt. "Your wish is my command, my Lady."

...

The next day, after he's gone, Kenna gets out from her bed and heads to the bathroom.

Her mother still sleeps and she's relieved for the time she has to be alone and think.

After she's done getting ready, she heads downstairs and grabs her keys. She heads outside to her car and gets in, inhaling the scent. It's been ages since she's used her car.

She jumps when she hears knocking on her door and sees Francis with Anne in his arms.

She opens the door. "Francis! God, you scared me."

"Are you supposed to be out of bed?" He asks her, tilting his head to the side as Anne copies his actions.

Kenna smiles. "I'm going to the hospital. Before you worry, I'm visiting Alexander. Our conversation was cut short and we never had a chance to return to it."

"At least let me drive and you'll tell me when to pick you up if you'd like. Mary will kill me if I let you go and drive," he says.

Kenna nods, accepting his offer as he helps her out of the car. "Where's Mary?"

"She's gone to work. Her brother is holding a meeting and her vote is needed as one of the majority shareholders. Between you and me, I think they're pulling out their money from my family's company," he admits. "I don't mind, and I knew it would happen sometime. However, it gives Bash and me more work to find new shareholders."

"Oh, sorry about that," Kenna says. "I'm guessing my family selling our shares also gave you a blow."

Francis nods, watching as she locks her car and follows him across the road. "We hold sixty per cent right now, the Poitiers with twenty and the Stuarts also have twenty. We can afford to be majority shareholders, but it will make doing business with other people harder. Bash is dealing with negotiating deals right now and I'm trying my best being in another country."

"That's why he couldn't stay for long," Kenna realises. "But by April, everything will be normal, right?"

"Yeah," Francis says, smiling brightly. "Let me get the kids ready and I'll unlock the car for you."

When she gets to the hospital, she greets Alex with a tight hug and takes his tea from his hand.

"Excuse me?" He asks, surprised.

"Just a sip-"

"It's caffeinated. I'm not allowing you to drink any caffeine. Are you trying to give me heart failure?" He replies, taking his tea back. "Let's go to the gardens. It's normally quiet and peaceful this time in the morning."

She follows him, linking their arms as he supports her. She doesn't really need the support, but she knows it will ease his worries about her health.

"You gave us quite a scare," he says to her quietly as they sit down on a bench. "You really should be resting. At least we're at a hospital."

"Yeah," Kenna replies, grinning. "I had to get out of the house, out of any bed."

Alex nudges her shoulder gently. "So, our conversation..."

"Yep, the one we were having before I was hospitalised," she replies.

"Sorry I had to go. Had an emergency to attend to. You always were one for dramatics," he says. "Right, our conversation. I know you and Sebastian are back together. Why though?"

Kenna sighs. "I told you why," she tells him. "We're meant to be together, I guess."

Alex takes a long sip from his tea, shaking his head slightly. "It's your life. I don't agree, but it's your life and if he makes you happy, I'll support you. I'll be here for you, Adrien and the baby."

"Right, enough about me - how's _Archie_?"

"Oh, God," he mutters, making her grin. "I'm staying put, you're right. Friendship is better than nothing at all and who knows? Might find some lucky lady one day."

She sends him a wink. "Any lady would be a fool to choose you, brother dearest."

"Shut up, Mckenna," he replies, smiling slightly. "I'd rather still have a best friend and settle for someone less than her."

"Who knew you were such a romantic?" She asks him.

"I learnt from you, you little bitch," he says. "Thanks a lot."

Kenna gives him a smile, leaning into his side as she sighs wistfully. She doesn't know what the future holds, but she's glad she has support.

"Can you drive me home after?" She asks him.

"Fine," Alex begrudgingly accepts.

"Thank you."

Alex turns to her. "Have you ever hated Sebastian? Don't be offended, I'm just curious."

Kenna falters, turning away from him as she nods. "Quite a few times. No matter how much I love him, there's always that bit of hate for him inside me. Do you know, I've not even told him that I loved him since we got back together? I don't even feel guilty about it because it had been so long since he genuinely told me that he loved me. I'm not for letting someone have a taste of their own medicine or anything, but I have to protect myself, you know?"

"Yeah," Alex says quietly. "So you hate him and love him at the same time?"

"Yes," she replies with a nod. "It keeps me sane."

...

_Six Years Ago_

Kenna watched as everyone enjoyed themselves. They drank, they ate, they laughed, they danced. All except her. Well, she was nursing her fourth glass of champagne.

She turned to see Bash talking with Mary, laughing as if they hadn't had a conversation about his love for her earlier. Her other friends were engaged with conversations with their partners or other guests in attendance.

She smiled, thanking guests when they come up to her and congratulate her on her nuptials. She felt so alone, so used, but she loved him. She needed him, craved him and she wanted his whole heart.

She would never get his whole heart. She hated him, but she couldn't help but love him. She didn't want to, but she couldn't put anyone else above him. She couldn't put _herself_ above him.

Kenna looked back at Bash and _perfect_ Mary. Mary who always got what she wanted, but even then she couldn't be upset with Mary. She loved Mary just as much as she loved Bash, the two most important people in her life who were causing her so much pain.

She sat there, watching her husband of two hours watching her best friend of her entire life as if Mary was the only girl he'd ever seen. He doesn't even hide it, Francis and Henry look on quite displeased, Henry more so than his son.

Bash never cared for what people thought about him, but she cared. She cared about image and what people thought of her and how they saw her. She was insecure like that and played it off as vain. She'd rather be thought of as vain than insecure.

He was slowly killing her. She thought she'd stop battling for his love and attention after they'd got married, but she had to accept it. Maybe, they'd have kids who will take his mind off _her_. If he wasn't going to love her, she will kill him with kindness and be the best wife she could be to make him feel guilty. No, that was wrong. She wasn't like that, was she? A horrible person underneath her nice exterior?

_You want her, you need her and I'll never be her_, she thought to herself, cursing the lyrics to a song she sang for fun with the girls a while ago.

She didn't think it would actually refer to her pathetic life now.

She stood up, smiling politely at guests as she left the hall and headed in the direction of the powder room.

She jumped when she felt arms wrap around her waist just as she reached the door for the toilets.

"You left quite abruptly," she heard.

"I just need to retouch my makeup, Bash," she replied, tears stinging her eyes.

She felt his chin on her shoulder and heard him whisper into her ear, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she numbly replied, the dam breaking and her tears slowing down her cheeks.

He, of course, took them for happy tears and kissed them away.

At least she's the only one who would have his lips on her skin and his fingerprints on her body.

...

_Present Day_

Mary pauses outside of her bedroom door, frowning when she hears Francis speaking in a heated tone over the phone. He's speaking in French which he _rarely_ does.

She listens, picking up on how he says his brother's full name as they argue about something regarding Henry. A part of her wants to know, the other part doesn't.

About to open the door, her phone buzzes in her pocket and she walks away, picking up the call.

"Catherine," she greets the woman cordially.

"_I need your help, Mary. Yours and... Kenna's_," the woman gets straight to the point.

Mary frowns deeply, continuing to walk away from Francis's hearing distance as she says, "With what exactly?"

The older woman sighs. "_I can't let Francis get involved too much. His only focus should be on the company. As you know, our shareholders are selling their shares - you and your brother jumped ship with the Beatons._"

"James thought it was best to protect our image," Mary says calmly. "I hate that you still think of my marriage to Francis as a transaction deal. Henry got lucky when we fell in love regardless of his efforts to use me _and_ Kenna with Bash."

"_Henry never did have tact, Mary,_" Catherine replies. "_Anyway, I would deal with Henry myself, but I need an alibi. Something that doesn't involve either Francis or Sebastian. They can't know, they've already too much on their hands._"

Mary nods. "And their _pasts_."

"_Exactly,_" Catherine replies. "_Do you understand what I'm saying here, Mary?_"

Mary nods again. "I do. Tell me what I need to do, Catherine - I'm in. I'll call you when I'm with Kenna."

"_I'll be expecting your call,_" Catherine says.

Mary hangs up and walks back towards her room where Francis is still in a conversation, but it's tamed and in English.

"...I'll do it. I don't want you to do that, you've got everything to lose... I know I have too, but I'm clean - I have no one watching me."

She frowns, eyebrows furrowing. "Who's watching you?" She mouths to herself.

"...I know who to ask... I know you don't trust him, but we have to for this... Okay, I've got to go... Yeah, she's fine. Talk later."

She heads downstairs, running her fingers through John's hair as she passes the children as they watch TV.

"Right, suggestions for dinner, kids!" She calls out, giving Francis a smile when he follows her into the kitchen. "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, just Bash. He's scanning over some contracts I need to sign," he replies, his right eye twitching slightly.

She nods. "Do you think Diane will sell her shares? She has to ask for Bash's permission, right?"

"Yeah," Francis says. "I doubt she'd sell her shares, Bash is the one who controls them. I currently hold twenty, but Bash could potentially be the majority shareholder as the de facto CEO and Valois representative and with his mother's shares. Isn't he lucky to be half Valois and half Poitiers?"

Mary chuckles. "If your father leaves the company, I will personally make sure we rebuy our shares as well as ask Kenna's father to buy theirs too. We will work this out and we'll all be free of Henry."

She smiles when he kisses her, their children finally running into the kitchen with different requests for what to eat.

Her attention immediately lays on her children, giving Francis the benefit of doubt.

...

"I thought I could eventually wear him down with being the perfect, little wife," Kenna continues. "But my plan failed even with so much effort. I kept being rebuffed, brought down... Antoine didn't help things, but I felt so lonely. I had a husband and a son yet, I felt so alone."

"Why didn't you tell him earlier that you knew about him and Mary on your wedding day?" Alex asks her. "When he followed you outside?"

Kenna shrugs. "I didn't want to make a scene. Also, we pretty much went on our honeymoon straight after the reception. I didn't want to hold the record for the shortest marriage ever and ruin a lovely time away. He treated me great, to be honest. Better than I expected for a man who didn't love me. Things went sour after Adrien turned one."

"I still can't believe you suffered for that long," Alex says, shaking his head slightly. "That wasn't healthy at all."

"I just wanted someone to love me. Someone who was always on my side, who cared for my wellbeing and was my confidante. I still surprise him these days. It's like he's finding out things about me that he never bothered to learn when we were married. I'm still waiting for the pin to drop."

Alex turns to her. "You deserve so much better, Kenna. Don't force things with Sebastian because you have children or you're so hopelessly in love with him that being apart from him would kill you... He needs help and you need better than him. The last thing I want for you and your children is for you to end up being heartbroken again. You're not good for each other, nevermind the soulmate shit."

"Alex-"

"I know it's your life, but..." He trails off, tears stinging his eyes as he looks away. "You've nearly given up many times, Kenna. I don't want him to keep wearing you down until you finally give up for good. That Christmas you told me about, I never knew that someone I _know_ was so strong could be weakened by that. You're the strongest person I know, mentally wise and if you couldn't handle that then, I doubt you could again."

Kenna cups his cheek, saying, "I won't give up. I've got something to fight for, to _live_ for."

"If Adrien wasn't enough back then-"

"Alex, _trust_ me," Kenna whispers, her eyes searching his. "Trust me to know better this time."

He swallows deeply, nodding. "Okay. If I hear you're getting remarried to that prick, I'll refuse to talk to you for like, a week."

"_Bash_ is not a prick. He's many things, but he makes an effort and he gives his best always. Even when it seems like he's giving up."

"He gave up on you."

Kenna smiles sadly. "Well that time, he wasn't fully in the run in the first place. Now, he's fighting not just for me, but for his children because he knows I'll deliver on anything I promise. If he hurts me, he won't ever see them again and I won't feel guilty about that."

"Because he's already threatened you with full custody once," Alex replies, agitated. "Just be safe."

She nods, kissing his cheek. "I will big brother. I will."

...

_Five Years Ago_

Kenna looked up with wide eyes, fear written in them as she shook her head. Sweat matted her hair and dripped from her forehead and everything seemed to be going in slow motion.

She barely heard the midwife telling her to push as she let out a scream, gripping tightly to the hand supporting her.

_I'm dying_, she thought when she saw the amount of blood there was. She turned her head, sobbing her fears.

"I can't do this," she said, her sweat mixing with her salty tears. "I-I can't do this."

"You can," Bash told her, pressing a kiss on her head. "You've got this. Just a few more pushes and we'll have him in our arms, Beautiful."

Her vision blurred. "Bash... I-I love you. If anything happens-"

"Don't say that, Kenna. You'll both be fine," he said, squeezing her hand a little. "I love you, too."

Her eyes searched his and she finally nodded in acceptance, pushing again when the midwife told her to. She pushed as if her life depended on it.

With each push, she could feel her strength leaving her. The taste of blood pooled in her mouth and she realised that she bit her tongue.

Then the pressure went and she fell back against the hospital bed, breathing heavily.

She felt so tired, she wanted to close her eyes, but she was being told to stay awake as someone emptied her mouth of the blood.

She felt numb and everything seemed to be rushed to her. How the medical professionals tended to her and her...

"He's not crying," Kenna mumbled, trying to see where her newborn was. "Wh-Where is he? Why isn't he crying?"

Bash shushed her, his eyes not on her. He was using one hand to smooth her hair down as his other one was still in her clutch.

It felt like a lifetime, but when they finally heard a cry they let out relieved and happy sobs, Bash kissing his wife over and over again.

"He looks just like you," he whispered into her ear as her eyes felt heavy and finally closed. "Kenna?"

He was forced back when the machines beside him began beeping, someone placing an oxygen mask on Kenna.

"What's happening?" He asked, looking between his wife and son. "W-What's going on?"

The midwife gave the doctor a look and Bash's heart sank.

"There is nothing to worry about," the midwife tending to his son assured him. "Do you want to hold your new son?"

_"A little you, Bash. It's a boy, I can feel it."_

Her words echoed in his ears and he gave the midwife a nod, gently taking the baby into his arms.

"You're very quiet. And small," he whispered, staring into the baby's eyes. "You have my eyes, little man. Just like the sea."

He looked up when he heard his wife's name thrown about and frowned. He needed to know what was going on.

"Can anyone explain to me what is happening to my wife, please?" He asked, hoping his voice wasn't breaking.

"Your wife has lost quite a lot of blood - postpartum haemorrhage," the doctor explained. "There's a severe drop in her blood pressure and we will need to perform a laparotomy immediately to try and attend to what is causing the severe bleeding. We will take her into surgery right now."

"Can I stay with her?" He asked softly, his gaze returning to his son's.

The doctor nodded. "Of course."

A few hours later, Bash fell asleep in the hospital chair. They'd left home just after one at night and now, it was early in the morning. Just after seven.

He'd made all the necessary calls and promised to keep Mary and Francis updated as Diane sat awake on the seat on the other side of the bed.

She watched her new grandson sleeping in the plastic cot, smiling when he let out a yawn.

"Ah, son premier bâillement!" She gasped in wonder. "He looks exactly like you were when you were born..."

Bash awoke, hearing his mother's words. He waved her off when she apologised for waking him. "I need to stay awake, I have to be the first one she sees."

"Do you love her?" Diane asked him, looking up to see his reaction.

"Huh?"

"Do you love Kenna?"

Bash paused. "Yes, I guess. Why would you ask me that?"

"No reason," said Diane, shrugging.

"You asked for a reason, Maman," he told her, sitting up properly.

Diane sighed, tutting at herself. "Pardon me-"

"Mother."

"Well, sometimes... it seems like you don't," Diane said quietly. "It doesn't bother me, but now she's the mother of your child. Any hope of you getting with that other Scottish girl is gone. You have a son now and he will be the glue that holds you both together forever. Now, do you _love_ Kenna?"

Bash looked up. "As you said, it doesn't bother you-"

"Tell me."

"I told you that I love her," he snapped.

Diane smiled a little. "Your tone and your eyes give you away."

"I love her. Maybe not with all my heart, but I do care for her and I will protect her," Bash replied. "She's my wife - we said vows in front of God and she is the mother of my son. I intend for my marriage to last unlike yours."

His mother's face fell and before he could apologise for being so harsh in his words, Kenna woke up and reached out for him.

"Where... where is he?" She asked, breathlessly.

Bash grinned, standing to pick up their new son before placing the sleeping baby on his mother's chest.

"His eyes are like mine," he told her, brushing back the baby's small wisps of hair.

"Like the sea?" Kenna asked softly, tears springing to her eyes.

Bash nodded. "Like the sea."

"Adrien."

"That... that works, yes," he said, smiling down at his wife and son. "Adrien fits with the sea theme. Adrien..."

"Our little Adi," Kenna added, bringing a shaking hand to line his cheek. "Adrien Olivier Poitiers."

"Did you have that name already planned?" Bash asked, kissing her head.

She shook her head, leaning up to capture his lips in a soft kiss. "To be honest, I didn't even think of names. We never thought of names, did we...? I knew I'd want something French like yours and _Olivier_ is the French version of one of my older brothers' middle name."

"Do you miss them?" Bash asked her, wiping her tears. "Your family?"

"Every single day," Kenna croaked out, staring at her new son. "I love you, Adrien. And I love you, Bash."

Bash frowned when her words were drowned out by her sobs, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I've got you, Kenna. I love you, too."

He pulled away and saw his mother raise her eyebrows. He looked away.

...

_Present Day_

"When Adrien was born, I was too drugged up on painkillers and anaesthesia to listen to the insincerity in Bash's 'I love you's," she suddenly says. "Now, they're all sincere and it scares me. I've got so used to being pushed away that feeling _wanted_ frightens me."

Alex nods. "I get what you mean. Well, I can't believe it has taken him this long to be sincere. I hope it works out because I want you to be happy. Or else, I will personally give him a punch. He looks like an arsehole."

"_You_ look like an arsehole," she tells him.

He starts laughing, almost spilling his tea. "That's true. I bet his first impression of me was 'overprivileged twat'."

"It was with your five-piece suits and Jimmy Choos," she replies nonchalantly.

"The Jimmy Choos were _one_ time when I was sixteen! You can't hold that against me, it was Dad's fault for giving me all that money to spend for my birthday."

Kenna grins, nodding. "Yeah, right. Dad's fault..."

"Fine. I did like the Jimmy Choos," he admits with a roll of his eyes. "Don't tell anyone that."

"Only if you stop telling our parents about my life and what I used to do..." She requests. "They've shipped me to enough therapists already after you left. I don't need them to now."

He winces. "Sorry about that."

"It wasn't only you and Douglas," she says. "I had other issues like my escapades with older guys and me just being... I don't know, it's hard to talk about my early adulthood. I'm not proud of my past and sometimes I wonder if Bash was right to bring it up whenever we argued. It shows how much of an irresponsible, self-centred, self-conceited bitch I was."

"You was insecure, Kenna. So many other young women go through the same thing. You just took some time to find yourself after your support systems left. We can't keep dragging up the past, but we can learn from it. Like I can run away from my problems, my _family_. Anyway, seems to me that your love for Bash was unrequited and six, seven years on, the tables have turned."

Kenna nods sadly. "Yeah. Karma, right?"

"Yeah," Alex mutters, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently. "Let's get you home and in bed. I won't have my future niece or nephew hurt in any way."

"Thank you," she replies, grinning.

"My pleasure, as always."

After he drops her off home, Mary arrives and asks if Joanna could help babysit for her as Francis has gone shopping for food and she wants to check on Kenna.

She just needed an excuse to get Kenna alone as when she finally closes the door behind Joanna, Mary heads upstairs to a bedridden Kenna.

"Catherine called me," she says quickly, about to dial the woman's number. "Said she needs our help."

"My father won't buy the shares-"

"Neither will James, but that's not the reason why she needs us. It's Henry."

Kenna sighs. "And she doesn't want to involved Bash or Francis. What can we do? What can _I_ do? I'm pregnant!"

Mary shrugs. "I don't know. She said something about an alibi."

"Do you think she intends to _kill_ him?" Kenna asks, gasping. "She does realise that I have people watching me, right? Henry told me about the situation with the Bourbons and he thinks I'll let that slip. He forgets that his son is the father of my kids and I won't ever land him in it."

Mary gives her a nod. "I believe she'd probably need you as a time stamp, phone calls and texts. Me, well, I can go to France for a visit. Let me call her."

She puts the phone on loudspeaker after she's dialled Catherine's number and the woman quickly picks up.

"_Are you both there?_" She asks.

"Yes," they reply.

"_Right,_" the woman says. "_I think it's time Henry was put to rest. Permanently, don't you think ladies?_"

Kenna and Mary share a look of shock, staring at the phone again.

"_If he isn't, Bash won't be able to deal with his past and be the man you need him to be, Kenna. And Francis... Well, Francis will always be dividing his precious time between France and England, straining your marriage. It's a three-way win for us ladies_."

"I'm in," Kenna quickly says, giving Mary a look. "Tell us what you need from us."


	15. Chapter 15

Bash opens his eyes, sighing heavily when he realises that he's in France, in his home office and not in England with Kenna.

Where he really wishes he was.

The door opens and Adrien rushes inside, holding up a sheet of paper he's drawn on. He shoves it into his father's face.

"Can you send this to Mama?" He asks sweetly.

Bash beams. "That's lovely, Little Man. What's it for?"

"Her birthday!" Adrien replies, making Bash freeze.

"What?"

"It's Saturday today, Papa! The 11th, Mama's birthday," Adrien states, pointing to the calendar on the wall.

Double checking, Bash clicks on the time on his laptop and curses under his breath. 'Saturday 11th January' in solid words.

He stifles a yawn, bringing Adrien to his lap as he clicks Kenna's name on Skype.

"Papa nearly forgot, but you won't tell Maman that, will you?" He asks the child.

Adrien grins. "We'll see. I might want sweets later."

"You devious little-"

"_Ah, my darling boy! Good morning!_" Kenna cries out, waving at them.

"Happy Birthday, Mama!" Adrien replies, showing her his picture.

Bash turns to her, chuckling. "Morning. Happy Birthday, Beautiful."

"_Oh,_" Kenna says. "_You're there too,_" she teases him. "_Thank you, both of you. Nearly had heart failure when you called. It's only six here. Why is he up so early on a Saturday, Bash?_"

"I wanted to draw a picture for you!" Adrien tells her, not letting his father speak. "It's me, you and Papa in our house in England."

Kenna gives him a bright smile. "_Don't forget your future little brother or sister._"

Adrien gasps, eyes wide. "I have to draw the baby!"

He leaps from Bash's lap with promises to call her later. It makes his parents laugh.

"_You look like a mess,_" she tells Bash, gaining his full attention. "_You have bags under your eyes and you haven't shaved. At least, smartened your stubble or anything._"

"Thanks," he replies, smiling a little. "I literally woke up before Little Man ran inside. I've just not been sleeping well. Haven't been for a long while, but I'm good. I miss you."

She nods, her smile leaving her face. "_I miss you, too. You and Adrien - it's lonely here. I can't do anything and the girls visit as much as they can. I even met Stephane's younger son the other day and he's alright._"

"Just three more months, Kenna," he says to her.

"_So, what have you got me?_" Kenna asks him, excitement in her voice.

Bash scratches the back of his neck nervously. "I haven't had time to get you anything," he admits. "Honestly, I forgot it was your birthday. A kid had to remind me for God's sake. Sorry."

Kenna nods, clicking her tongue. "_Well, I haven't had a birthday gift from you in years, if you ever remembered anyway. Don't know why I expected this year to be different._"

"Don't be mad. You know how stressed out I've been and the amount of pressure I'm under," he tells her, rubbing his eyes. "I'll make it up to you."

"_And the four other birthdays you didn't give a shit about, too?_" She snaps, crossing her arms.

He resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Kenna, it's your birthday. I don't want to argue with you on your birthday."

"_Didn't stop you on my past birthdays. They were like every other day,_" she replies, upset. "_I understand you're stressed out, I am too! I've got to look for a job and I've got to be bedridden for the rest of my pregnancy to make sure I don't die or kill our baby again._"

"Kenna," he says softly. "Don't say that. I..."

"_Sorry. My hormones are all over the place,_" she says, the excitement nonexistent now. "_Last birthday wasn't the greatest if you remember... I had to pack a lot of stuff to move to England after someone kicked us out. Ignore me, I'll call Adrien later-_"

"You don't tell me that you love me anymore," he cuts her off, looking into her eyes.

He sees her turn away, shrugging her shoulders. It makes him frown and slightly angry.

"Kenna?"

"_I don't know if I do, Bash,_" she tells him quietly. "_If we're being honest, I'm not willing to open up all of my heart again. You fucked me around, Bash - I'm not going to let you do that ever again._"

"This conversation is over. Call my mother if you want to talk to Adrien. Good-"

"_Hey!_" She snaps at him, clicking her fingers. "_No, no - you wanted to continue this. Our whole marriage was a joke and do you want to know what I thought to myself on our wedding day as I watched you with Mary, looking as if she was the only woman in the world...?_" She takes a deep breath in and out. "_I told myself that I would be the best damn wife for you so you could feel guilty for loving her and not me. I'd be the perfect woman for you; make your dinner for you before you got home, make you breakfast for when you woke up, iron your shirts, look after you when you were sick. I was willing to do all that shit for you because I loved you. _

_You don't _ever_ get to call me out for not telling you that. You never were sincere when you said that to me nor did you tell me you loved me back at times. You always had to have a reason to love me, like being the mother of your son or for giving birth to your son and nearly dying. Alex was right, you're a prick._"

"Please, calm down. I don't want you to be stressed," he finally says, leaning back. "You're right. I feel shit now because I've screwed up the best thing to ever happen to me. I've fucked us up and then after you left, I'd realise I lost the only thing that meant so much to me. You. I kept blaming you and when you finally gave up and nearly moved on, I kept pestering you and I'm sorry."

Kenna nods. "_Maybe getting back together was a bad idea. I kept telling myself that I would ensure that we work, but there is so much water over the bridge that I can't see the head or tail of things. I overheard what you told your mother after I had Adrien. You said that you didn't love me with your whole heart, but you cared for me and promised to protect me. You failed both of those things. The third promise... well, you requested for the divorce papers, not me. _

_Six years of pain, grief and utter failure. Each year, you were killing bits of me I didn't even know I had in me. My soul, my patience, my happiness... Maybe, I should have fought harder when you told me things were over for good, but what was the point? If we had remained together, we'd be miserable and that's what we are right now. We rarely talk and when we do, we're quick to brush it under the carpet and have sex. It's not even making love anymore, it's just meaningless sex,_" she replies, shaking her head in slight disbelief and wonder.

"You've noticed that too?" He asks quietly. "Do you fake it?"

She nods. "_After that night before your stepmother and half-siblings came. I'm sorry, I feel terrible! I faked it with Antoine too, I'm a bad person, I know-_"

"No, I get it. It doesn't feel good if it's not the right person. Guess I stopped being the right person years ago. I've got to go-"

"_Bash, don't be mad-_"

"I'm not mad," he snaps. "You've literally told me that you don't love me anymore and that you fake it when we have sex."

She recoils, hurt in her eyes. "_You totally fake it too, Sebastian! Oh my God, __I'm always the bad guy, I see that now. It's only me who does harm to us and our relationship as fucking always. I'm sorry and I wish you all the best._"

Before he can speak, she ends the call and he slams the table angrily.

"Fuck," he says under his breath, trying to control his emotions.

He wants to scream, or cry, or break something. Either way, he feels like he's going to explode and he sure as hell can't with his young son around.

He settles for breaking something, smashing one of his mother's vases onto the floor.

Footsteps follow soon after and his mother glares at him for losing it.

"You're lucky that was a cheap gift from Henry," she tells him, bending down to start clearing the glass pieces away. "Calm yourself down - you've scared Adrien even though he's two rooms away."

"Kenna ended things _again_. Or at least, that's how she was putting things," he tells his mother, slamming his laptop shut. "She's so selfish, I don't understand her! She's a lying, deceitful, manipulative bitch-"

His words are cut off by his mother slapping him. She glares at him, shaking her head.

"I understand why she left your sorry arse," his mother hisses, chucking the glass pieces back onto the floor with a sickening crunch. "You're _horrible_. It's you who keeps hurting her, weakening her, letting bits of her fall apart because _you_ want something. It was you who ended your marriage and requested the divorce. Then, you drag your heels when she finally accepts the divorce! After that, she moves back with her parents and you turn up, begging her to give you another chance."

"Mother-"

"I've watched from the sidelines," Diane says, her voice breaking. "You hurt her over and over again. I even asked you after she had Adrien if you loved her. You promised me three things and you didn't follow through. I don't want you to repeat mistakes from mine and your father's pasts. You're a shitty person and I don't understand how. I've tried my goddamn best, Sebastian! I should be begging for forgiveness from Kenna for raising a son like you. If you're the reason she keeps my grandchildren away from me, I'll leave everything to your sisters in my will should I die, even if they hate me."

She walks away, wiping her tears and leaves him stunned. He heads for the cabinet behind him, collecting a bottle of Scotch and a glass, pouring himself a lot before almost downing it in desperation. He doesn't even care that it's early in the morning.

After a while of nursing his drink, he starts clearing up the mess. He curses when a shard cuts him and he takes a moment to stare at the crimson liquid leaving his skin.

It reminds him that Kenna nearly died giving birth to their son and with recent events, he hates himself even more. He's a terrible person. He'd often leave her for weeks on end, return only to give Adrien a little bit of attention and ignore her for the rest of the time he was home.

He clears his throat and wipes the tears he didn't even realise were falling until one splash onto his wound. He sucks his cut finger, tasting the rich blood and wincing at the taste.

Finishing clearing up and sorting out his cut, he heads upstairs and knocks on his mother's bedroom door.

When he's granted access, he enters and sees that she is comforting his son with a story. He can see the fear and sadness in his son's eyes and he mentally curses himself for hurting his child like that.

"I think I need help, Maman," he says to Diane.

Her eyes meet his and she nods. "I think you do, too."

...

Kenna wipes her tears when she receives a text from Bash. It's long and a part of her doesn't want to read it or give a shit anymore. She's done, she's giving up again.

But she feels compelled to. She opens the message to see that he's explaining how he needs time away from everything, that he needs help with his issues and how he'll be a better person when he comes back.

She immediately calls Diane.

"_He's gone,_" the woman tells her, confirming her fears.

"Where, Diane?"

Diane sighs. "_I don't know. He's booked therapy or counselling treatment out of the country. Don't worry, I'll look after Adrien and bring him by April._"

"Did I hurt him? I-I never meant to, I just... He had to know how I felt all the time he rejected me. I know it feels childish, but I'm hurting and I can never forget his words. No matter how hard I try or how much I need him," she tries to explain.

"_No, this was long overdue, Kenna. Even before you got together. I'm sorry that my son is not the man you thought he was. He shocked me today and I want you to know that I never raised him like that. I am so sorry, Kenna._"

Kenna nods sadly. "I know, it's not your fault. T-Thank you, I have to go. Salvage this birthday somehow... Not that I feel like celebrating. If you speak to him, can you tell him that I lo-" She cuts herself off, shaking her head. "That I wish him well?"

"_Of course,_" Diane replies knowingly. "_Happy Birthday, my dear. I'll send some flowers and something you'd like. Don't worry, it won't be '2002 Baby Names' or part three._"

Kenna smiles a little. "Thank you. Talk later."

"_Au revoir._"

"À tout à l'heure," she says back.

Kenna hangs up and releases her sobs, running her hands through her hair. She didn't want to fool herself anymore, who was she trying to kid? They weren't meant to make it from day one.

They're too stubborn and different. He even said it, Rowan was his first love because they were similar. She and Bash never had anything in common, only that they enjoyed sex.

And Mary.

Speaking of the devil, the woman peeks her head through the door, gasping at the sight of her best friend in tears.

"Kenna?"

"I'm tired of fighting, Mary," Kenna tells her, heartbroken. "I'm stupid. I'm so stupid and I'm so..."

Mary is by her side in seconds. She consoles Kenna, pressing kisses into her hair.

"Kenna, I know you probably don't want to do this, but we've got a little party sorted for you downstairs and-"

"Help me in the bathroom. I don't want to disappoint anyone," Kenna says, sighing.

Mary kisses her cheek. "After, I will personally drive to Tesco and grab some Neopolitan ice cream for us to share and bitch about how much Bash is an arsehole."

Kenna laughs, hugging Mary tightly. "I guess you're one of the only ones I'm not scared to tell 'I love you' to knowing that my heart won't be broken."

"Oh, babe," Mary coos. "You better get me a bloody great gift for my birthday tomorrow. I'll be expecting something worth at least one pence."

"You've got it, best friend," Kenna replies, kissing her cheek. "Now help my fat arse to the bathroom before Francis comes looking for you and sees how much of a mess I am."

Mary giggles. "Even with tear stains and red eyes, you're so pretty and I'm jealous."

"Shut up," Kenna says, blushing.

"No, you because you act like you're not attractive. You _know_ you're attractive!"

"Okay, if you keep talking, I might wet my bed so..."

"Oh, shit yes! Let me just help you up..."

...

She doesn't hear anything from Bash in the weeks that pass by. She calls his mother, receiving the same reply each time that she doesn't know how he is and she is trying to contact him herself.

Kenna figures he's at least told Francis because they never kept anything from each other.

Her birthday was lovely although her spirits were dampened by her love life, even Mary's birthday made her feel much better than she was the day before on hers.

It's now February and on Valentine's Day, she receives two dozen roses. The first dozen is a belated birthday gift and the second is for Valentine's.

"Someone's popular," Francis teases when he joins her by the front door. "All kids are accounted for in front of the TV. Thanks again for looking after them whilst Mary and me go to France. I know you can't be stressed out with the pregnancy, but Mary will be back tomorrow evening and I've told the kids _not_ to stress you out at all. If they do, kindly inform me and I'll see a fitting punishment."

"It's fine! Stop worrying, they're good kids!" Kenna replies, placing the flowers down. "Hey, have you heard from Bash?"

Francis sighs, nodding. "I helped him book a stay at one of the most private and elite centres in America."

"I'm worried, Francis. Can you tell me anything at all?"

"I don't want to betray Bash's trust," Francis says to her, rubbing her shoulder. "I would if I could, but I think it's better this way. You both need time apart and after the divorce, this is the best decision for both of you."

Kenna wants to say that Bash is still her husband, but she is quickly reminded that he isn't. Francis is right, she's his ex-wife and mother of his children, nothing more now. She saw to that.

"Please. Just let me know how he is," she requests. "Otherwise I'd ship your children to you the minute you land in France."

Francis chuckles. "He's okay. He's dealing with his issues and he will take as long as he needs. Right, I need to go."

"Have fun on your romantic getaway," she teases him, knowing that they're going for business.

"You know what, we will," he replies, laughing as he gives her a hug. "For the love of God, go and sit down before you give me heart failure. I'll let myself out."

She chuckles, heading to the living room as the front door closes behind him. She sits down, ruffling James's hair and bringing Anne to sit beside her.

"How are you nearly four?" Kenna asks the girl. "You're growing so fast!"

"I know," the girl whines a little. "I don't want four."

Kenna laughs. "Everyone grows up, Anne Marie, my lovely. You have to want to be four," she tells the girl. "You'll love being four, I promise."

Anne nods, satisfied. "I will," she says to herself, sliding down the sofa to play with her toys.

Kenna wonders how it would be like with two children as she rubs her bump soothingly. With Adrien turning six in June, he's at the age when he is learning how to be independent. But she will give birth very close to his birthday at the end of Mary.

"Are you guys excited to have another cousin?" She asks them, not revealing that her unborn baby may not be their uncle's. At least the baby will be their cousin's sibling.

"Yes!" James cries out, giving her a gap tooth smile.

"Hey...! When did you lose your front tooth?"

He shrugs. "Yesterday," the seven-year-old replies.

"It looks cool, kiddo," she tells him, giving John a smile. "And you, what's new with you?"

The eight-year-old gives her an exasperated look. "Nothing."

"He has a girlfriend," James explains.

Kenna grins. "Is that right, Jamie? Johnny has a girlfriend?"

"I don't!" John replies. "Don't tell my mum and dad!"

"Oh, kiddo - I'm your fun aunt. Aunt Lola may give you rascals anything you want and more, but I will keep anything you tell me from your dear parents if you ask me to," she tells him. "Come and tell me all about her."

She beams when he sits beside her, telling her about his new friend who is a girl. He really likes her but has trouble telling her that he does. She wonders how Adrien will be when he gets his first crush.

"It is Valentine's," she says in wonder. "Maybe make her a card? I'll get Uncle Alex to buy some chocolates to put with it when he comes to check on me later on. You can give them to Elodie on Monday."

John hugs her. "Thank you, Auntie Kenna. Maybe, Uncle Bash will get you a card and some chocolates too!"

Kenna gives him a small smile, patting his cheek before getting up and leaving the children to their own devices.

She sighs when she returns to the bouquets she got and she will be honest when she says she's craving some dark chocolate.

Bash didn't even leave a card on either of the flowers, but she knew they were from him. Bash only ever sent roses when he was being apologetic. Red roses were when he was really sorry and white roses were for when he was sorry after small disagreements during the first year of their marriage.

He once dyed a whole bouquet of white roses in her favourite colour, purple. It was out of the blue and he'd surprised her with gifts and chocolates and a new necklace that had sapphire gems. He'd also got her roses for when he proposed.

The first year of anything was always better than down the line.

Just as she's about to walk away, the doorbell rings and she answers it, collecting a parcel from the mailman. When she closes the door, she heads to the kitchen and uses a pair of scissors to open it.

There's a gift box with a bow in the middle of it, surrounded by styrofoam packing nuts. She pulls out the lilac coloured box and undoes the black bow, opening it up.

Inside, there's a charm bracelet and a letter.

She inspects the bracelet first, noting that there's one charm with the letters 'A' and 'O' inscribed on it. She smiles to herself, putting it on and picking up the letter.

[Bon Anniversaire, ma chérie. Je suis fou amoureux de toi et t'es l'amour de ma vie. Je suis désolé, Kenna. Pardonne-moi? Je t'aime toujours. B xx]

"Cheesy as fuck," she mumbles under her breath, rereading his words in English. "'_Happy Birthday, my honey. I am madly in love with you and you are the love of my life. I'm sorry, Kenna. Forgive me? I love you always..._'"

"Auntie Kenna?!" James cries out.

Sensing that none of them is in immediate danger or discomfort, she replies, "Just a minute, Jamie!"

She rereads the words, over and over again. He states that he loves her _three_ times. It's been four weeks since she ended things - or did she? - and he still loves her, even more so. He must have been very sorry if he was telling her in French, the language of _love_.

She sighs, preparing to throw away the parcel box when she spots another gift and letter.

"Oh, are you serious?" She asks herself, rolling her eyes as she picks the box up.

This time, there's a necklace with a heart and it has a letter 'S' and the letter 'M' etched onto the silver pendant.

"Formal, are we?" She mutters, realising that he's referred to their full first names. "'Sebastian & Mckenna'. What a pair tied together for a lifetime, we were not."

It's a pretty necklace with one lilac coloured gem at the bottom of the heart. He's gone full out to beg for her forgiveness. He always went overboard when he sought her forgiveness like the Christmas when she got the black eye. He went as far as giving his own mother's gifts to her. She obviously gave Diane her gifts back, prompting suspicion from the older woman.

And the time he proposed, she reminds herself. She had received so many expensive jewellery and designer shoes and matching handbags all for a proposal. As well as the priceless but inexpensive wedding ring slash engagement ring.

She reads the letter, this time it was in English.

[These gifts were long overdue. I'm sorry, I can't be there, but I'm doing this for us. You're right in every way and I apologise for blaming you for things I did. I promise this year and every other year will be different. I won't repeat the same mistakes, I won't take you for granted and this time, I will fight for us. You've done so many times and tried to keep our family together singlehandedly. I need to put in more effort now, for us and for our children, regardless of the baby's father being me or not. I don't know how long I'll be here for, but I am getting better each day. It's been a month, I don't want to jinx things. I give you permission to make me feel as guilty and horrible as you want because I deserve it and I want you to be happy. Forever yours (no matter how many times you don't think so), Sebastian xxx Je t'aime, Kenna.]

She can't deny, he always had a way with words whether they were manipulative or sincere.

She puts the necklace on, disposing of the parcel box and keeping the gift boxes and letters. She then focuses the rest of her attention on her nephews and niece, cries of laughter echoing through her home.

...

March comes around and Kenna finds herself visiting the Castleroys after Greer gave birth to her third child, a boy.

She lets herself into the house, hugging Aloysius's eldest, Yvette. "How does it feel, being twenty-one years older than your youngest sibling?"

Yvette scowls a little, playfully. "God, they better pay me if they want me to babysit! Little David is a blessing, though. He looks just like Dad."

Kenna grins. "Ah, he's called 'David'? That's so sweet!"

She also greets the other children, Gemma, Stephanie, Lewis, Vincent, Rose and Louisa, almost feeling winded from greeting all of them.

"How do your father and Greer remember every child's name?" She asks Yvette as they head upstairs to see Greer.

"The other day, Dad called me 'Stephanie' repeatedly," Yvette replies. "Until he realised and apologised by giving me a few hundred pounds. It has its perks."

Kenna giggles. "Well, my own father mistook me for my sister and she's fairer than I am! _And_ she dyed her hair blonde."

"Do you think we'll ever be known as our own names?" Yvette asks jokingly. "I don't mind the money as compensation, but still."

"Well, Greer was the eldest of five and her father once called out all of her sisters' names before hers when he was talking to her," Kenna says. "You remember your stepaunts Ainsley, Colleen, Ellen and Bridget."

Yvette nods. "They came round last night from Scotland. They're staying in a hotel."

"It _is_ a madhouse," Kenna replies, looking around at the mess the younger children made.

When they get to the master bedroom, they find Greer nursing the newborn. She looks a mess, but she doesn't make an effort to look decent for Kenna.

"You've seen me at my worst," Kenna tells her, getting into the bed and Yvette leaves them to their privacy. "We've always seen each other at our worsts."

Greer grins. "Yeah. Remember when Mary gave birth in the bathroom and all of us were surrounding her before the ambulance came?"

Kenna kisses her cheek. "Great memories. Hello, welcome to the world David."

"He looks like my mum," Greer says. "It's crazy, I even sent a picture to her and she burst out in tears according to my dad."

"I'm so happy for you, Greer. I hope Aloysius is treating you like a queen," Kenna tells her.

"He's been doing everything for me. He even got up at night to bring him to me to feed. He won't let me do anything other than eat, sleep and nurse David. He even changes the nappies!" Greer replies. "He's wonderful. He is so hands-on and he even took a month off work even though he works from home. I don't know what I'd do without him."

Kenna's eyes water and she swallows deeply. "He's wonderful, unlike some guys we know."

Greer gives her hand a comforting pat. "I will never tell you 'I told you so', you know that?"

"I need to hear it though. The harsh truth," Kenna tells her. "You told me he was still into Mary and that I was beautiful and smart to be a rebound. Turns out, I wasn't only a rebound for Mary, but for other women too. I was never number one in his eyes."

"And now, he's on his knees begging for you to take him back," Greer says with a sigh. "I like Bash, he's a good mate. On the other hand, he doesn't know how to love someone. At Christmas, I gave him some home truths. I told him to focus on Adrien - you didn't need him turning up and messing all the progress you've made. I don't want you to be hurt, you're practically another sister to me and every time you hurt, the rest of us feel it. We lost Ayles already, we don't want to lose you too, Kens."

Kenna sniffles, wiping her tears. "Am I a bad person? Like, how was it growing up with me? You and the girls know me better than my own parents do."

"Kenna, everyone has their own personalities. Yours is pretty strong and you're really desirable and popular with people. You met your downfall getting with an Aries."

Kenna bursts into laughter, begging Greer not to start a conversation about star signs and all that from when they stayed at Lola's mother's hippy club one Summer.

"I love Aunt Janet, but please don't tell me about star signs and compatibility-"

"No, Aunt Janet is right this time! Capricorns and Aries don't work, Kenna!" Greer giggles. "Wait, how the hell did Lola and her siblings turn out normal?"

"Uncle Malcolm is the most boring person out there, he kept them grounded, but remember when Lola and her sister bathed naked in the lake that Summer in Greece?"

Greer snorts. "Jesus! Uncle Malcolm was so mortified!" She exclaims. "Anyway, let me continue, you will need to see a relationship therapist. Janet is the best there is for compatibility and what you can do to solve your issues regardless of compatibility."

"Greer, I'm not asking Aunt Janet to give me love advice," Kenna tells her.

"Come on, I'm sure it will be fine. It's better than wasting money on therapists and mediators. You've got a family friend who can hook you up on some decent advice no matter how wacky it sounds."

Kenna finally nods. "Fine. I'll ask if she can visit me."

"How about we all join you during the session? We can learn a lot," Greer asks her.

"Yeah. I guess. By the way, Little David needs his nappy changed."

...

A week later, Lola and her older brother were helping their mother with her things as they entered Kenna's home.

"Aunt Janet, it's been too long!" Kenna tells the woman, hugging her and noticing the many objects entering her home. "I thought we were only having a chat-"

"Oh, I need the stones for my soothing exercises and I might do some yoga in your garden after to release the bad vibes," Janet says, thanking her children with kisses to their cheeks. "Landon, meet me at the hotel by six, my darling. Lozzie dearie, if you'd show me to where the others are."

As Lola leads her mother into the kitchen, she lets out a disapproving look about her nickname. Kenna gives Landon a bright smile.

"Hi, it's been _years_," she tells him, giving him a short hug.

"Yeah," Landon replies. "Janet said that you were having relationship issues. How could you when you're that pregnant?" He teases her.

She chuckles softly. "I'm not with the father. We got a divorce and ended up having sex resulting in this little one," she admits, not giving any more than that like Bash may or may not be the father. "I just had to know where I went wrong or where we went wrong. Hey, you still call your mother by her name?"

"Her persistence, not ours. Makes our dad confused as hell, but he loves her," Landon says, laughing. His blue eyes sparkle and Kenna blushes a little.

"Remember that little crush I had on you when we were kids?"

Landon nods. "How could I forget? I was your first kiss."

Her heart skips a beat and she turns away, laughing slightly. "You remember that?"

"Yeah, I was in Year 8 and you were in Year 7... Anyway, if I remember clearly, _Lozzie_ had a crush on Alexander," he says.

"Guess we're both even. Greer was the only one to have kissed one of my brothers, though," she replies. "How's Sutton and Georgia?"

Landon sticks his hands in his pockets, nodding a little. "They're good. Sutton is working in Wales now. Georgie is nearly done with university."

"Feels like yesterday when she was just a kid," Kenna says. "She's Lachlan's year, right?"

"Yeah. How's Paisley, Lachlan, Douglas and Alexander anyway?" He asks.

Kenna grins. "They're good. Lockie is nearly done with university, yeah. Paisley is working with our dad, Alex is a doctor and Dougie is Dougie. He joined the Army then travelled the world after he was discharged. He's just chilling at home in Scotland, helping out Dad and Paisers now and then."

"Good, good. Well, I'll leave you to your hippy readings," he says, teasingly.

He plants a soft kiss on her cheek and she leads him out, closing the door behind him. Her heart feels quick under her skin and she releases a breath.

He was a year older than them and the sweetest person in the world. He did everything for his younger siblings and back when they were teenagers, they'd hang out with each other.

Kenna feels guilty for thinking this, but she wonders what it would have been like to be with Landon. He was everything Bash wasn't. Landon was sweet, caring, shy, trusting and forgiving.

"Kenna?" Lola calls out, snapping her out of her thoughts.

She heads into the kitchen and sits down beside Mary and Greer who has baby David strapped to her chest.

"Right, who would like to go first?" Janet asks, looking at each woman. When no one says anything, she immediately chooses, "Mckenna."

"Sure," Kenna says, smiling nervously. "Urm, what do you need to know?"

"His star sign and his name. I can't refer to him without a name," Janet teases her. "The issues you've been experiencing although, I'd like to know that after I've read your compatibility and reflected on your signs."

Kenna nods. "His name is Sebastian and he's an Aries. He's got siblings, but he technically is an only child because he grew up with just him and his mum."

Janet immediately winces, shaking her head. "No, that's very... You're not even forty per cent compatible. Capricorns and Aries _do not_ work well."

"We can tell," Greer says under her breath, receiving a kick from Kenna. "Bitch!"

Janet chuckles as the women laugh. "Right, we'll start off on an awkward note. Sex. How was your sex life?"

Kenna blushes as her friends knowingly turn to her - they know the ins and outs of her sex life. "It was amazing at first when we were dating and the first year or so of our marriage. Over the years, we rarely had sex even though we were somewhat trying for another baby. I, well _we_, began faking it..."

"Yes, that is very true. Your passion will start off adventurous and powerful, but it's like a flame. It sizzles out at one point," Janet explains. "Anything else?"

"But even though the sex wasn't great afterwards, he still knew me in and out and he always asked me _exactly_ what I wanted so he could satisfy me..."

"That's very true," Janet replies. "Aries would consider their partner a teacher and learn about their body and the way to satisfy them. Although you are attracted to each other, that is all it is. Lust and that lust drives your passionate sex life and once you've grown out of that brief moment of lust, your sex life goes shit."

Kenna frowns. "I try to satisfy him, but he would..."

"Find that from somewhere else?" Janet asks knowingly. "Sebastian didn't find your sex life satisfying. You are like a puzzle he has solved and he got bored and moved on. As an Aries, Sebastian seems to be a passionate lover, sometimes even an addict to pleasures of the flesh and sexual encounters and will not hesitate in getting that sexual satisfaction he requires whether it's from his wife or not. Does that sound right?"

"Preach," Lola muttered, Greer and Mary nodding in confirmation.

"Seems like your girlfriends saw that too," Janet states.

Kenna blushes. "Yeah... He doesn't have the patience for me at times."

Janet smiles comfortingly. "I know. They don't tend to focus on their partners either. If Sebastian was to look for someone new, he'd have to search for an Aries. Only Aries matched with another Aries is very compatible as well as with Libras and Leos."

"Like Rowan," Kenna states sadly. "His first love."

"They may have been very compatible, but there are still damning reasons why they are not. They don't trust each other due to the strength of their star sign. Anyway, Aries as children can be hard to control, and if they don't receive enough love and patience from their parents, all of their intimate bonds later in life could suffer. I'm guessing this can be said for Sebastian?" Janet says.

Kenna almosts laughs in shock. "Spot on. As I said his parents weren't together, he only had his mum, and his dad and stepdad abandoned him."

Janet clicks her tongue. "Hmm. Sebastian is courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest and passionate. However, he's impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive. I assume he's been most of these with you? Maybe, not honest from your eyes and his blatant affairs."

"All correct," Kenna says sadly.

"A relationship between a Capricorn and an Aries might seem like a competition to ruin the relationship in the best possible way," Janet says.

"What do you mean?" Kenna asks, eyes wide.

Janet gives her a look. "Was he the only one having affairs?"

"Yeah," Kenna says quietly. "Well, I had an emotional affair and it never went far. Except for when the guy kissed me and I immediately went home to Sebastian though."

"Subconsciously, you were harming your marriage even though you never wanted to do so. Every time you tried, you as a Capricorn will bring up matters of the past to ruin the marriage and relationship even more. You used things, words and actions he'd done in the past against him. He would be stubborn and drag his heels to further damage your communication, values and emotions," Janet tells her.

"Jesus, how did you guys last six years?" Greer asks Kenna.

Kenna scowls. "Lord knows."

Janet quickly quietens them to say, "Independence is the key to understanding an Aries. In order to seduce an Aries man, you need to learn to play the game by his rules. This man often finds the chase for the subject of his desire - Kenna - more thrilling than the catch - your marriage, and his conquering nature makes him often chase after partners he can't have - Mary or Rowan," she starts. "Oh, I _do_ know about your fling, Mary dear. Anyway, to get his attention, one must play hard to get, as if sending a message that he needs to fight for a prize, and winning the one he truly wants to be with. That may be you, Kenna."

Mary clears her throat. "Kenna has no problems with playing hard to get, she's always been a flirt and after they divorced, she didn't make it easy to keep their relationship afloat," Mary says. "I mean, she kept breaking things off."

"Taste of his own medicine," Lola adds.

Janet sighs. "Well, you're both at fault. Great, great fault."

"You've got Sebastian down to a 't'," Kenna tells her. "Go on. Right now, I'm wishing I had a glass of wine to tide me over..."

Janet pats her hand. "Men like Sebastian rush to become their partner's 'knight in shining armour'."

"He was never mine," Kenna mutters darkly as Mary blushes slightly, sipping her wine and turning away.

"How were your arguments?" Janet asks her.

Kenna rolls her eyes. "I rarely stood up for myself. Once he had it in his mind that I was wrong, there was no time for judge or jury. It was straight to the executioner. The day I had the miscarriage, I became more vocal but I was still unable to stand up for myself."

"Hmm," Janet says understandingly. "You might have to yell back in a fight, building strong boundaries and earning his respect. I know you'd argue that he would lose respect for you, but you can't emotionally shut down and accept things. It would make it easier for him to lose that respect and patience for you and he will continue to break the bond that pulls you together and use that against you as if it's your fault. On a bad day, an Aries can be self-centred, arrogant and stubborn and although a relationship with Sebastian can be fun, exciting and adventurous, it's really easy for someone to get hurt because Capricorns and Aries clash greatly."

"When we were married, I was afraid to argue with him. Because of my insecurities and past relationships with my family and partners, but after the divorce, I felt confident," Kenna admits.

Janet nods. "Because you weren't threatened with the idea of divorce or his hold over you and well, you have a son together. Partners of Aries believe that they own them as the Aries person conquered their love and won them over. Kenna, you're not and never were his trophy or something for him to own."

"Then, why do I want him and why do I feel like I am?"

"You're both too stubborn and you decide that you love each other too much to let each other go," Janet tells her softly, cupping her cheek. "The only chance of success is unconditional respect and the wideness of your views and expectations for each other - you both could truly complement each other if you look for the good in one another and highlight each other's qualities."

Kenna nods slowly, taking it all in. They're both selfish, stubborn, and she has to admit that her qualities aren't the best either.

"Back to the 'taste of his own medicine' comment," Janet continues, clicking her tongue at Lola. "Capricorns are known to be unforgiving and Kenna, you expect the worst. You call things off the minute that things are too good and comfortable. As you expect, once you reach the peak, it won't plateaus but will fall. Capricorn speaks of each natural chain reaction of fear, where one scary thing leads to many others, rising up as defensive mechanisms that only make things worse.

Immersed in their secrecy, they face the world just as they are – brave enough to never run away, but constantly afraid of their inner monsters. You have inner monsters in you, so does Sebastian. They were bound to meet and tear you apart. It is not easy to win over the attention and the heart of a Capricorn, but once their walls break and their heart melts they stay committed for a lifetime. Sebastian stole your heart and got your attention, being the love conqueror he is and you fell hard and committed to him for life."

"Jesus Christ," Greer mumbles, eyes wide as she shushes David. "Aunt Janet, where were you when I needed help as a teenager? You better do me next!"

Janet chuckles. "Of course, dearie. Let's focus on Kenna first. Continuing on, Capricorns feel connected to every single thing from their past and their childhood and loves bringing out these memories whenever a season of holidays or birthdays is near. This is a sign of a typical conflict one has over dominance in their household, with their father being an extremely important figure in the way this person built their self-image over the years. As parents, they tend to be strict but fair, readily taking on responsibilities that come with a child. Was Sebastian ready to be a father?"

Kenna shakes her head. "No. I had to give him an ultimatum and he quickly accepted that we were going to be parents. He was really clingy when I was pregnant with Adrien. Not that I minded, but he refused to be apart from me."

"Yes, his fears stemmed from when he was a child himself. Then, the idea of a baby threatening his independence and marriage, he tried to be closer in any way he could to you. He was brought up alone, even with many siblings elsewhere and the idea of someone threatening a relationship of his that's he's built for a while and committed to somewhat is hard for him. It was you and him when he was ready to open his heart, then a baby came along. He saw the baby as a challenge and did he rise to the occasion?"

"Mostly," Kenna confesses.

"Hmm, yes. I'm guessing you didn't have enough time to be a couple before Adrien came along then," Janet says. "Going back to love and sex, Sebastian made it easy to feel attractive in his arms, since he is always interested in sex, however messy you might look. Am I getting on the right line, here?"

Kenna nods. "Especially after I was all bloody and sweaty giving birth," she replies.

"How long was it until you both had sex following Adrien's birth?"

"Not that long," Kenna squeaks out, blushing.

"An Aries man appreciates when his sexual partner shows interest in his body and feels confident and secure enough to show their own. He has little patience for insecurity, shame and overall lack of confidence," Janet continues. "You're a very confident girl, even as a child."

Kenna glances down. "Not always."

Janet lifts her chin. "You _know_ you're beautiful and having Sebastian assure you that you are made you sometimes disbelieve him due to past experiences or his actions in the past. That knocks your confidence as you are a naturally confident person. I'll be honest, relationships are not easy to Aries men in general, but Aries men have special trouble when needed to connect to their partner, feel compassion and think for two. He finds it much easier to do everything alone and finds it rare in a partner to have enough energy to follow his lead. An Aries man is prone to chauvinism more than any other sign in the zodiac. It is imperative for his partner to stay independent, financially and socially, if a relationship with this man is to succeed. You can't be too clingy if you're thinking about being full-term with Sebastian. Maybe, living apart would be the right move."

"That's what I thought, yes," Kenna tells her. "We'd clash underneath the same roof."

Janet beams. "You're remembering the lessons I taught you when you were little! Anyway, can you trust your Aries man? If you are just one of his conquests, he won't feel obligated to stay true. Aries man can be a sexual predator, winning one prize after the other, conquering his partners one by one. He enjoys the thrill of the game and needs to feel deep emotions in order to stop. In case you are a princess he won over by pure chivalry, you can trust him because he would have contracted deep emotions for you. The only way for him to keep that knight image of himself is to be just, sincere and brave. Even if you aren't a conquest, he can still be unfaithful."

"Bash doesn't seem the sexual predator type though," Mary tells her, Kenna nodding as well.

"No? Well, even if he isn't, he still enjoys sex and will step out the marriage if he needs to so that his needs are satisfied even if they were quenched by his wife. Even if it's not sex, it's emotional affairs and so on. Any way possible to not be around his partner because she is only there for comfort and stability. To put up the front of a stable household," Janet explains.

"That's all true," Kenna replies. "We were more or less forced to be with each other, but I loved him from the start."

"Ah," Janet says, tutting. "That's the thing. They're easy to fall in love with, but it takes a while for them to reciprocate the same feelings. Moving on, Sebastian won't be much of a romantic and will probably do things by the book. He will bring you red roses, take you to a fine restaurant and might put you in a limousine if he really wants to seduce you. Am I right?"

Kenna smiles a little. "You know you are, Aunt Janet."

Janet winks. "He will expect to have sex on your first date and will go on expecting it every time you see each other. Your phone conversations will be short, messages rare maybe even hostile at times or very blunt."

"Spot on."

"They're hard to knock down. Their walls are built very strong and high and you'd sometimes need years to chip a bit off," Janet tells her. "Don't lose hope. Even with normal friendships, men like Sebastian are quick to call things off the minute someone's dishonest or they are unclear of their intentions. They're just not naturally too trusting or too willing to open up. An Aries man is attractive, strong and confident, always ready for something new and exciting. He doesn't lack initiative or character and it is a fun competition to win his heart. However, he doesn't have much sense for anyone but himself.

He may seem like a brute, following his instincts and rarely using his brain, however smart he might be. Still, there is a soft side to him. If his loved one is in need of his help and support, he will show exactly how much he cares - like hopefully his relationship with his son. When he feels respected and loved, he will let his guard down and seem like a cuddly bear at times. Sebastian might be ashamed to be soft, but when he feels trust, he can't help it. There is a warm, behind the act, nature to him, something that needs to be discovered in time and is reachable by approaching him with a lot of tenderness, however, he might act closed off. He can also be rough, selfish and impulsive."

"I'm selfish and impulsive," Kenna says.

Janet nods. "Then you'd clash strongly against each other if that's the case. Whereas, you are more willing to care for other people and perform acts of selflessness. He is willing to have someone initiate the action so he can carry it on and claim all credit. For a Capricorn woman, when she chooses a partner, this is a woman that has the need to stay loyal, and often doesn't understand why anyone wouldn't be. The equation in her head is quite simple, and for as long as her relationships make any sense, she will stay in them with no intention to disappoint or leave. When she feels the time has come for things to end, all of her boundaries have probably been crossed and there's a slim chance there will be turning back on her decision. She is serious and strict, but her love goes very deep, and unless she is dissatisfied with her own life, she will support her partner and make them very happy. You tried all that, haven't you?"

Kenna smiles sadly. "You know I have," she says quietly.

"With a Capricorn woman, this is a woman that has no reason to lie, unless if fear overflows her common sense. The only thing that can make her act on instinct is panic fear, and if she doesn't feel any, she will have no reason to be dishonest. In general, she lives by the principle 'an eye for an eye' and although she knows that all debts get settled by nature when she is angry enough, she might take justice into her own hands. This is the only situation in which she might decide to lie, out of spite and the need to return the favour to an unfaithful partner. However, this will make her feel that guilt we mentioned before, and she will probably avoid situations of this kind."

"When we were separated, I slept with another man a few times. I pursued a relationship with him and throughout that relationship, I felt so guilty. I did it out of spite for Bash cheating, but I felt sick all the time," Kenna says.

Janet shrugs. "Capricorns are susceptible to feeling guilt. Right, Mary?"

Mary looks up. "Yeah."

"But you are independent, confident, self-controlled and realistic. You know when something is amiss and you pick up on it and try to fix it. After you've exhausted all your plans from A to Z, you admit defeat and leave it even if you feel guilty for not trying as hard as you thought you weren't. My advice, Kenna... You've already tried once, twice and thrice - keep trying and if it truly is making you both unhappy and spiteful once again, don't be afraid to end things again. Don't be afraid to ensure you never try the process over and over again because as confident Capricorns are, it's easy to mentally destroy them and make them lose themselves."

With that lasting advice, Janet moves on to Greer and then Mary and Lola. Throughout her readings, Kenna thinks to herself as she rubs her baby bump.

She's tried her best and she still loves him. She needs to help him and be more patient than she ever was. He'd need her and she would want him. She's capable alone, but she seeks his comfort.

With his birthday at the end of the month, she smiles when she thinks of a lovely present to send him or at least give to him whenever he pops up again.

...

On the 23rd of March, Kenna asks Francis to come over for a chat. He immediately knows what she's going to ask of him and this time, he accepts her request.

"Just let him know that I did this for us," she tells him.

"Did what? Does it have anything to do with the brief weekend stay from Diane and Adrien?"

Kenna nods. "I needed Diane to provide a sample."

Francis gasps, leaning in closer slightly. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I paid to have a paternity test done from the womb," she admits. "You're an uncle again, Francis."

His eyes light up and he hugs her. "He'll be so happy. Relieved and happy. That's why you wanted me over... today is his birthday and you want to tell him the happy news. Kenna, he is not ready to talk to you."

"I know," she says. "I want you to tell him for me, please. I will give him the time he needs, but he needs to know this at least. And wish him a happy birthday from me."

"I will. Do you need a hug?"

She nods, tears springing to her eyes. "If you don't mind..."

He doesn't bother to reply and he brings her in for a tight hug, rubbing her back. She rests her chin on his shoulder, wishing that she was hugging his brother instead.

...

That evening, Kenna gets a surprise when she opens her front door to two women. Before they notice her, they are in a heated argument in French.

"Hello?" She calls out, gaining their attention. "Can I help you?"

"Are you," the first woman starts in a thick French accent, checking a piece of paper in her hand. "Kee-naaah?"

Kenna frowns. "It's '_Ken-na',_" she tells them. "Can I help you?"

The second woman nods, saying in a melodic French accent, "We are Françoise et Louise Brézé."

Kenna gasps in recognition. "Oh, Bash's half-sisters. Yes, I know you who are."

"Oui, Sébastien's half-sisters," the first woman says. "I am Françoise, but the English call me 'Francesca'. She is Louise."

"Nice to meet you both," Kenna replies, crossing her arms. "Again, how can I help you?"

Louise clears her throat. "We wish to speak with Sébastien."

"_Sebastian_ isn't here," Kenna tells them. "We split up."

"You're not his wife?"

"No. Not anymore," Kenna says. "How did you find me?"

Francesca sighs. "His ex-girlfriend, Rowan."

"I'm so sorry to have wasted your time. I don't know where he is, he left the country," Kenna explains. "He's not in France either. I wish I knew more."

Francesca gives her a sad nod and starts to leave, but Louise stops her and faces Kenna.

"You know where he is."

"I really don't," Kenna tells her firmly. "If I did, I'd go to him myself."

Louise's eyes trail down to Kenna's bump. "He is the father?"

"He is," Kenna confesses. "Look, I'd help you out, but I can't. Why do you need to speak to him anyway?"

"Our father is dead. He left some money to _Sebastian_," Louise explains to her.

Kenna sighs, retrieving her phone from her pocket and she dials Francis's number. He soon picks up and she tells him to get to hers immediately.

When she sees the familiar blonde, he immediately recognises the women and starts backtracking. But they notice him.

"Francis Valois," Louise says in slight disdain. "Ça fait longtemps."

He sighs. "Et toi."

He holds a conversation in French with the women, neither party satisfied with the answers they're getting back as Kenna stands by and listens. She understands everything they're saying and becomes amused when Louise hurls insults at Francis.

"What did you do to them, Francis?" Kenna asks, cutting their argument off.

Francesca turns to her. "Nothing, it's his disgusting father who has wronged us. He destroyed our family and now, our father leaves his half-brother money? Our money?" Francesca states. "We want your brother to give us the money. Louis was never his father."

Francis glares at them. "He's your half-brother too," he reminds them. "You can't hate him for our parents' mistakes."

"Unfortunately," Louise says under her breath. "Just tell him to decline the money if our father's lawyer calls him. We'll take him to court-"

"And we'll take _you_ to court," Francis snaps. "If your father left him money, that isn't any of your business nor should you dispute it. Touch any of that money and we won't take it lightly, family or not."

Francesca scoffs. "He has it all, between three rich families. He has the Poitiers fortune, Valois inheritance and _now_ the Brézé inheritance. Not once did he or my father get in contact with each other. He is _Henry's_ son, not our father's. Either way, he's brought shame to all three families."

"I know you're hurting and I'm sorry for your loss, but this isn't Bash's fault," Francis tells them, calmly. "He has a lot on his plate and no one should ever go through what he's going through right now. Let me talk things through with him when I see him. It will be a while because he needs time away and I won't disturb that for a little petty dispute you have with a dead man. Just give me time to talk to Bash and we'll see what to do with the money."

"Merci," Louise says, rolling her eyes. "J'attendrai votre appel."

Francis gives them a nod. "You will get a call as soon as possible."

The women leave and Kenna turns to Francis in slight surprise. The women were hostile and rude, she would have slapped them both.

"Are you alright?" She asks Francis.

"This is the last thing Bash needs," Francis tells her. "If they come knocking, don't answer."

She nods. "Okay. No wonder Diane never speaks to them. Honestly..."

"Louise is a hot-head. She's not used to things not going her way. Francesca is level-minded, although she will attack if she feels threatened. Louis Brézé and my father have a lot in common. Both were shitty fathers. Only, my father had my mother to make sure we didn't turn has horrible as Henry. After Diane and Louis split, Louise and Francesca went to live with him."

Kenna sighs sadly. "Don't ruin his birthday. Tell him later."

"I will," Francis says as his phone rings. He answers it. "Hello, Mother?"

His eyes widen and then falls, immediately landing on her as he talks to Catherine. When he's finished, he turns to her fully.

"So, my father is dead."

Kenna gasps. "Oh."

"Yeah," Francis says, his voice breaking. "Go and rest, I'll talk to you later."

Following his instructions, Kenna closes the door and heads upstairs to bed. She picks her phone up and sends Mary a quick text.

It's soon replied with a confirmation of, 'yes'.

"Fuck," she breathes out.

...

Seven days later on the second to last day of March, Kenna receives a text.

{From Bash: **Thanks, Kenna. Best present I've had in a while. Love you and have a lovely day, Beautiful x**}

She sighs, rereading the text as if he's in front of her, saying the words. She misses him. She also figures he doesn't know about Henry just yet.

She just wants to hear his voice, inhale his scent, hug him and hold him. She knew she was unfair to him on her birthday.

Kenna does love him, but if she says that and gets rejected... she doesn't know what she'll do.

At the same time, she wants to make an effort. She wants to stop running away. She stares at her wedding ring, smiling at the sense of certainty it brings.

She always was able to read Bash no matter how much he kept things secret from her. Even when he was mostly a closed book, she could read that he was distancing himself from her.

He'd proposed with the ring and asked if she wanted something more expensive and more of her style. However, the more she looked at it, the more she loved it and never wanted to let it be removed from her finger.

...

_Six Years Ago_

Kenna sobbed and sobbed, cursing herself repeatedly as she scoured the floor of the kitchen. She couldn't believe she lost it. How could she have lost something so valuable?

Unsuccessful, she tried the living room she was always in but she was again unsuccessful. She tried her bedroom and Adrien's room, but she still couldn't find it.

Admitting defeat, she tended to her crying baby and nursed him. She rocked him side to side as he nursed and she wiped her tears.

It was just for a minute as she sorted out the laundry. Then, Bash had come into the room and they quickly made love as Adrien napped. Then, he left for work and she returned her attention back to the laundry.

"Mama is stupid, Adrien," she said to her baby. "I've lost Papa's Meme's ring. He's going to be so upset with Mama."

Adrien looked up at her in confusion, his small forehead creasing as he drank. She laughed, brushing his hair back.

"You're right, he would understand," she said. "It's just that... the ring makes me certain that I love Papa. I love him so much and the ring is so beautiful and it's so my taste. He knows me, Adi. He loves me."

Adrien began to cough and she jumped slightly, tending to him before closing her bra and starting to burp him.

"Sometimes Mama rambles on, baby boy. Sorry, sweetie."

The door opened and she gave her husband a meek smile, watching as he sat on the floor beside them.

"Hey," she said softly.

"You're upset," he stated. "Surely earlier on wasn't _that_ bad."

She laughed, shaking her head. "No, it was great. It's just..."

"What?"

Before she can speak, Adrien let out a burp and she giggled. She handed him down to Bash who laid him against his chest.

"Excuse you, Little Man," Bash said quietly, kissing the top of the baby's head. "You were saying before he rudely interrupted?" He teased.

"I lost my ring, Bash," she quickly said. "I didn't mean to!"

Bash blinked. "Ah. Well, that's kind of my fault..."

"What do you mean?" She squeaked out.

He dug into his pocket and placed the ring on her hand. He watched as she stared at it in shock.

"I noticed it had a gem missing last night. I'd been waiting for the perfect moment to get it repaired. The sex, although wonderful and euphoric, was a ploy to get it whilst you were distracted," he explained.

She burst into tears, slipping the ring on and sighing in relief. "Oh, Bash! I felt horrible about losing it!"

"I'm sorry, babe." He grinned. "I could get you something better."

"Don't be silly. You gave it to me and I've told you before, I love it. It felt like I lost a bit of my heart when I couldn't find it. Thank you, Bash."

"You're beautiful when you cry, do you know that?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Sweetheart, I've known that since I was six. But you can continue saying so..."

...

_Present Day_

She slips the ring off and places it on her left ring finger. She immediately feels relief and happiness.

And guilt.

She feels guilty for doubting him, but she had reasons to. He was trying to make an effort, no matter how stubborn and insecure about their relationship he was. And she was tired of always picking up the pieces.

He promised that he will fight for them, fix their relationship and he was taking steps to do so by taking the time to get better and deal with his issues.

She misses him so much it hurts.

Kenna wants to face the world with him by her side. She wants to hold him as he grieves for his father and handles the situation with his older half-sisters. She wants to help him with his addictions and be there for him as always.

This time, she won't be doing it out of spite and for selfish reasons, she will do it because she loves him regardless of their star signs being incompatible. Although it was a useful insight into how they work as a couple, Kenna was never really into the star sign shit that much.

Even Lola didn't believe in the things her mother said.

But Janet got both of them fully sussed out, her and Bash. A lot of things like Aries men being curious to open mystery boxes and she had remembered Bash calling her a _"Pandora's box I was intrigued to open."_

Once he figured her out, he got bored and moved on.

Until she left and he became desperate to get her back.

As a Catholic woman living in modern times, her beliefs on marriage and relationships were traditional. She had wanted a Church wedding and she got one. She had wanted her marriage to last until death did them part, but divorce was what broke her marriage.

He never was really religious, he stopped or barely believed a long time ago. Every Sunday she went to Church in France, most of the times Diane would follow her.

She'd pray for strength and guidance, but each day whittled her down until she almost stopped believing. After moving to England, she didn't go to Church. She'd spent tears and angry prayers on Sundays and the rest of the week, she'd be a shell of who she once was.

Then, slowly she got better and she'd follow Mary, Francis and the kids to Church on Sundays. Until he came back unexpectedly with the divorce papers.

She hadn't broken faith, just requested that she'd have the strength to carry on and focus on Adrien. He was the only thing important to her.

A year later with her faith as her rock and determination, she'd be a mother once again and try and rebuild her relationship with their father. It would be hard and gruelling and they wouldn't be able to run away from hostile arguments. They'll get through this together, she swears to herself.

After she says a quick prayer, she stands from the breakfast table with little difficulty. She feels drained and tired, she wishes that she'd listen and be confined to her bed for the rest of her pregnancy. She was thirty-two weeks and the excitement was starting to show.

She had been off and on about her feelings regarding her third pregnancy, but now as she got closer to her due date and scheduled C-Section, she was excited.

Last time, the excitement wore off very quickly. She was in a better, healthier place now.

Just as she passes the front door to get upstairs, her doorbell rings and she curses. The desire to ignore it and head upstairs to sleep compels her, but it might be a delivery again and hopefully not Bash's sisters.

Turning back around, she opens the door and gasps.

"Bash!"


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you so much for your support and reviews. Here's the next chapter :)**

* * *

He's in front of her in the flesh, her eyes can't believe it. He holds a bouquet of dyed roses, and the colour is her favourite - purple.

"Hi," he says softly, adjusting the strap of his travel bag on his shoulder. His suitcase sits just behind him as she stares in disbelief.

"What are you doing here?" Is the first thing she asks him, not making any room for him to enter. "F-Francis said that you needed time - that you didn't want to talk to me."

He bows his head. "I had my reasons, I never meant to hurt you. I... I've been going through some stuff, hard stuff that stems from my past and I wasn't emotionally okay to talk to you." He looks around, hoping that there weren't any nosy neighbours. "Can I come in?"

Finally, she lets him in, helping him with his suitcase much to his objections. It's not that heavy anyway. She places it by the stairs and watches as he closes the front door and hands the roses to her.

"Two months, Bash. Did you even check up on Adrien at least? He must be so confused not having one of us there," she tells him, slightly annoyed as she sniffs the flowers.

"I Skyped him every day," he confesses nervously. "I trust my mother to take good care of him, he's okay. I just needed to separate myself from the situation before he could get hurt."

Kenna nods slightly. "When did you leave?"

"The day after your birthday," he says, both of them clocking that it was Mary's birthday. "I'm so sorry for ruining it. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's not entirely your fault," Kenna says tersely. "I had a hand too. I should have talked it through and not have been quick to call things off. We promised each other and I broke that promise. It was just that, I kept trying and my efforts were always rebuffed so I quit things before history repeated itself."

He steps closer to her, brushing her hair from her eyes. "I'm an arsehole, we can both agree on that."

"I'm a petty bitch," she replies teasingly.

"But we're each other's downfall and salvation if you get what I mean?" He says, wrapping an arm around her waist as his free hand finds its way onto her bump.

She inwardly groans at Janet's words floating in her mind as she says, "I do. I really do." She rolls her eyes slightly, turning to look at him. "I learnt a lot about us whilst you were MIA."

"Shall we sit down and talk about it?"

She nods, leading him into the kitchen and finding a vase for her new bouquet of flowers. She fills the vase up with water as well as the kettle, sets the flowers inside and places the filled vase on the window sill.

"Tea, no milk-"

"No sugar," she finishes, grabbing two mugs and two decaf tea bags. He'll have to suffer with her.

"You remember," he says softly.

She resists the urge to roll her eyes, smiling instead as she says, "I always remember everything about you. Like how you like the window open at night and how you like brushing your teeth as you shower because it saves water and time... How you always comb your hair a certain style because you're strict and regiment like that."

"How do you notice the little things?" He asks her curiously. "I regret that I never bothered to notice those about you."

She stays silent as she prepares their teas and finally sits beside him, shrugging. "They just added to who you were and the many reasons I loved you."

She sees him tense up at the word '_loved_'. Sighing, she takes his free hand and squeezes it.

"I love you, it hurts sometimes to do so," she tells him. "I was scared, Bash. When you noted that I never said it back, I felt shit. Then, I realised that I wasn't inclined to say it back because this time you were hurting as you craved for the words to be said back and never got them. I meant it when I said I wasn't going to let you fuck me around anymore. But back then, I meant it when I told you I wasn't sure I still loved you. I loved-_love_ you, period. No _because _after it or other shit. Plain and simple, I love you."

When his eyes meet hers, she sees tears in them and for the first time in their whole relationship, she can see that he's _insecure_.

"This isn't about me is it?" She asks him. "This is about what you went to find in yourself in America."

"How do you know?" He asks, his voice barely a whisper.

She gives him a sad smile. "I did some soul searching myself in the form of Lola's mum, Janet."

"The Not-All-There Janet?"

She grins a little. "Yeah," she replies. "Anyway, she said that a lot of these issues came from your childhood. That your intimate bonds in the future when you were a child would suffer. Exactly what happened. You're tense with your mother, you were... let's say unfavourable with me." She takes a deep breath. "It made you short-tempered, impatient, but also confident and passionate. Even though you know yourself, you never resolved who you _were_."

"H-How...?"

"I had to see reasoning as to why you hurt me. I wasn't looking to justify your actions, I was looking to understand them," she explains. "I won't go on, I'm not your therapist and we ought to talk about where _we_ stand."

He nods. "Considering we have another child arriving in just under two months."

"Hmm. You're insecure, Bash. Just like I am," she says. "Being who we were, we were both having a competition to hurt the other more and ruin our relationship in the best possible way. You cheated, I had an emotional affair - we both used each other as reasons for our lifestyles. I used the past against you, you used my personality against me. I wanted you to have a taste of your own medicine."

"It was bitter," he admits. "I felt so disgusted at myself for hurting you. Hurting you meant our little boy was hurt too and I realised that he witnessed things a kid should never ever witness. Every child deserves a stable and happy home, he rarely had that and he's at such a sensitive age. God only knows how he never acted out in public because of us."

Kenna nods sadly. "He's an angel, he'll never hurt someone else purposefully or out of anger."

"He's not like me," Bash says, strained. "Unlike me, he's innocent and wonderful. I don't deserve him and he doesn't need a father who is as-"

"Sebastian," she calls him sternly. "_You_ are his father. I asked you to promise me two things. Do you remember them?"

He looks up. "To love him and never stop wanting to be there for him."

"Yeah," she says, her voice breaking. "I can see you love him so much, Bash. You seeking help was the right thing to do because now, you can be there for him."

"What if being away from him is better?"

"No, it's not," she says gently, wiping his fallen tears. "He's your little boy and he'll always want you around. I know it's hard, but you've made great progress. Together, we can face anything."

Bash sniffles. "I originally came to say, _goodbye_."

"Why?" She breathes out, eyes wide.

"Because you deserve so much better than me. Someone else who could give you the world and more. I want to be that man for you, but I'm too damaged to be. It hurts saying this, but it's better we..."

"'We' what?" She asks, shaking her head as tears sting her eyes.

He looks away from her. "Never saw each other again." Then, he takes her hand. "I _originally_ came to say that, but I'm not going to say that."

She lets out a sob. "Fuck you," she croaks out.

"I want to make us work, I'm sorry," he says, wiping her tears. "I didn't mean to scare you, but we have to be honest right? Even if it hurts."

She nods mutely, gripping his hand tightly as silent sobs flow from her. She curses him a little for making her heart jump - her blood pressure would be off the roof.

"Listen," she says. "You have difficulty showing compassion and you have trouble connecting with me. Apart from sex, what do we like about each other?"

He stares into her eyes, almost as if he's transfixed. "Your voice. You sing so beautifully, I swear everything stops to listen... Your smile, the way your eyes normally light up when you're excited or when something is going good. Your humour, God your humour. You're so funny, even though you never try to be. I understand how you work, I know how you taste, how you feel... You synchronise with me, I sometimes get scared because I've never worked so well with another person - not even Mary, Kenna. You read me like a book, even when I try my best to be unreadable. You're beautiful and confident, you pretend that you're not and that you're insecure when you _know_ you would win a million competitions when it comes to beauty and charm. I tried hard not to fall for you. I'll be honest, I thought Mary was the one and I felt guilty for betraying her."

It stings, but she needs to hear it. "Thank you for being honest-"

"I'm not done, Kenna," he says gently. "Until you came along. Like a fucking tornado or a tsunami. Your quick wit and charm were easy to fall in love with and well, I can't deny that before everything went shit, our sex life was _spectacular_. It was like making love to you for the first time every time, except for those times when we-"

"The adventurous side to you, shall we say?" She cuts him off, laughing.

He blushes. "Yeah. You weren't afraid to try new things or do new things. Remember that time I went hiking on our anniversary in Thailand and although you complained about wearing heels for three days straight, you came with me. _And_ wore heels. Thought you were crazy, but you never complained or asked for a foot rub afterwards. You looked so goddamn sexy then."

"Actually, when you went scuba diving, I went to the spa," she says, grinning. "You can't really believe I can go that long in heels!"

He laughs, kissing her lips. "Anyway, as I was saying... Although you had flaws, you were perfect. Every time you called me 'perfect', I always hated that because I really wasn't. Not compared to you. At first, marrying you was just a way to please my family and I never bothered to make things work because, in my head, I wanted things to end. Amicably at least... Then you fell for me and I had to keep up appearances and things got confusing and _I_ fell for you. By the time I did, it was too late and you were gone. You gave up and I understand why. You tried so many times over the years and I never gave you the chances you needed to fix things. So, when you admitted defeat, you were the best thing I never had and I lost you."

"Jesus, Bash. You've finally opened up to me and you were _honest_." She gives him a watery smile. "Every other time, you were saying the things you thought I wanted to hear and I read through them like glass. You're so fucking transparent, I can see the genuine reasons behind your words now."

He doesn't say anything, he just presses his lips onto hers and smiles happily when she responds just as eagerly.

When they pull apart she says, "If I didn't have a high-risk pregnancy, we'd be making love right here."

He laughs, peppering her face with kisses. "I love you. Do you hear the sincerity in my words?"

She nods. "I do. I love you, too."

"We're not done yet. What about me? What do you like about-"

She gives him a look. "Are you really asking me that? I like everything about you, including your stubbornness and the fact that you're an arsehole. Although, we can work on your bedroom skills-"

"You little minx," he says, kissing her. "I didn't hear you complaining when we conceived Adrien. Or that time you thought you lost my grandmother's ring, but it turned out I got it repaired."

She grins, holding up her left hand. "I'm not ready for wedding bells again just yet, but I want people to know I'm taken. For perpetuity."

He leans back, digging into the pocket of his jacket and he retrieves his ring. "Same here. Now, I'll take this ring seriously."

She helps him slide it on his finger, pulling his collar so their lips meet once again in a heated kiss.

"Shame you have to go to France for Adrien," she says breathlessly. "Give him a million kisses from us."

"Impossible, but I've got him some things from America. In the Summer, we can go on a family holiday. It's been ages since we have and now he's at the age when he understands things and can enjoy them. Maybe, Disney World-"

"We'll talk about that later. Right now, we need to drink our teas and continue our lovely conversation about how we are going to do _better_ and be _better_," she says, kissing him again. "How we are going to get the help we need to be a proper family with our children."

...

_Two Years Ago - A Month After the Kiss With Antoine, September_

A knock on the door distracted Bash from his work as he looked at the time and then at the door.

"Come in," he called.

The door opened to reveal his personal assistant Jourdain, a scrawny thing of a man in his early twenties. His accent was thick as he said, "Monsieur Poitiers, your wife is here."

Bash narrowed his eyes. "No, I'm expecting my two o'clock meeting."

"_She_ is your two o'clock meeting, sir," Jourdain replied. "Shall I allow her in?"

"Fine," Bash snapped. "Let her in."

Jourdain quickly left, and soon after, Kenna entered and closed the door behind her. She took a seat in front of the desk, turning to face him as she crossed her legs.

"You went shopping," he noted, gesturing to her new heels.

She feigned a gasp. "So, you do notice things about me," she said. "Well, I'm not here to talk about my new heels. I'm here to talk about our son, Adrien."

Returning to his work, Bash nodded. "Sure."

"He's been feeling down. He can sense things aren't too great at home. Kids are very sensitive," she told him.

"Then, take him to the zoo or something. He's a kid, his attention will be quickly salvaged after watching a few animals laze around all day. He'll forget all about his _sensitivity_."

She rolled her eyes, leaning back. "He wants _you_, Bash. You barely spend time with him. He wants to go horse riding and you promised to teach him archery."

Bash sighed, looking up. "I'm working, Kenna."

"Okay, I can see that," she gritted out through her teeth with a fake smile. "What about after dinner or just before bed? Read him a story or two."

"Sure."

"Bash!"

"What?" He snapped.

She rolled her eyes again, cursing his one-worded answers mentally as she said, "Don't forget, we're meant to have dinner with the Pichards over your shares in their company and how their future with your family's company will be."

He sighed once again, continuing his work. "Book a restaurant, do whatever the fuck you want - you always do. I'm sure your taste in finding a decent restaurant will be sufficient."

"Why are you being like that? So offhand with me? I'm your wife, Bash," she said, hurt.

"Oh, honey. You're my wife in name only after your little secret boyfriend. We made an agreement that we'll play happy families to keep up appearances. Why are you even trying? You don't even want this, do you, Kenna? So stop acting like you care," he replied.

She felt anger course through her body and she clicked her tongue. For the past five fucking years of her life, six including the time they _dated_, she has always wanted him, their relationship, the adventure and passion it came with. _Came_ with.

She wanted to sting him, indirectly tell him that she knew of all his little girlfriends. She said, "You must be sexually frustrated then, Bash." Flipping her hair to the side coyly, she continued with, "Well, I guess I am too so why don't we schedule when we have sex. I mean, we're married - might as well put you to use."

He froze, eyeing her. "_Scheduled sex_?" He said slowly.

Kenna shrugged impassively. "I don't know about you, but I have needs. I don't even know how long you've managed to survive without sex. Don't you remember the passion, the heat, the lust?" She asked pointedly. "Might even have another child, to keep up appearances of course. A stable, loving family to make your prospective business partners swoon just like the Pichards."

Still eyeing her suspiciously, he said, "Fine."

She was surprised but didn't let it show. "This night after Adrien goes to bed."

"Sure."

"Good. I'll have that restaurant booked by Sunday, then," she said, smiling a little.

He looked down at his work. "Fine."

Rolling her eyes, she stood up and walked around the desk to lean down, her lips hovering above his cheek. "Have a _lovely_ day, honey."

In a quick motion, she gripped his chin and turned his head so their lips met. She drew back, wiping her lipstick from his lips.

"Just to keep up appearances," she said tauntingly.

He stood as she straightened up. He walked her over to the door, opening it and kissing her for all to see.

"Just for appearances," he whispered into her ear, making her shiver.

She then played it off with a bright smile as he rolled his eyes and returned to his office.

That night after they _both_ read Adrien to sleep, she claimed him. Left her scratches on his back, red marks on his collarbone and neck. She felt like a lioness protecting what was hers. At the same time, she felt sick for still loving someone who hurt her so much.

By the time they were done (nearly breaking the bed in), he left her and headed straight for the bathroom. She heard the shower run and contemplated joining him.

She didn't because the time it took for her to contemplate it, he was finished and he headed over to the walk-in wardrobe to get dressed into a fresh suit and a pair of Oxfords.

"Where are you going?" She asked, covering up her torso as she sat up.

"Out," he replied, putting his watch on. He sprayed some perfume on, making her raise an amused eyebrow.

"All of this effort for who, sweetie?"

He turned to her. "Don't wait up."

He left and she laid back down with a huff. He annoyed her greatly and she couldn't understand him at times. He'd be off with her, short with her and even insult her, but he was perfectly fine with taking her to bed and having his way.

"Oh, God," she muttered, covering her face to prevent her tears.

_Two Years Ago - A Month After the Scheduled Sex, October_

Her knee shook nervously as she waited and waited and waited. Maybe, this was finally a chance to start over.

She laughed to herself, mulling over it.

Scheduled. Fucking. Sex.

He'd been less enthusiastic, allowing her to take over as his mind strayed onto other things. She rarely even kissed him, preferring to bite his ear or kiss his neck.

There was no lust nor heat. The passion was only there because he was pissed off with her and told her that through what they did.

She heard her phone go off and she dismissed the timer, picking up all three sticks.

She laughed, tears of happiness springing to her eyes as she let out a breath of relief. Three positive tests.

Her little boy was finally going to be a brother all because she demanded that his father have sex with her. Imagine telling that child exactly how and when they were conceived.

She was hoping for a girl this time. A princess to help her steal Bash's heart. He'd be so good with a daughter, treating her like royalty and getting her whatever she wanted.

She definitely saw them as parents to one boy and one girl. She wasn't so sure about a third child. She will see along the way.

Putting the tests in her handbag, she returned to work as if nothing happened. She explained that she was sorting out 'woman issues' when the manager asked where she was for all that time.

After work, she got home and waited to tell Bash. She was going to rip it off like a bloody plaster and hopefully, he'd take the news very well and they could start planning the nursery, names...

She waited and waited, but he never came home. After she went to bed, she could vaguely acknowledge a shadow enter their room in her sleep. By the time morning came, his car was gone and she'd be heartbroken.

He avoided her like the plague over the days that followed.

...

_Present Day_

When she wakes up the next morning, she feels something heavy against her back and around her hip and sure enough, the soft snores emitting from behind her confirms everything.

She snuggles into him, his arm immediately tightening its grip a little. Just enough, not tight enough over her bump.

"Two days," she hears him say groggily. "I have two days with you. I'll go back to France, make things up to Adi and we'll be here by Easter."

She smiles. "I want to invite everyone over. Have my family come down from Scotland and also, your mum. I don't want her all alone in that big house, not with your sisters sniffing about."

"My sisters? What do you know about them?" Bash asks, tensing slightly.

"They visited me," she tells him. "Very rude women, I must say."

Bash sighs. "I've been avoiding them. I have Francis talking with my lawyers about..."

"About your kind of stepfather?" She finishes softly.

"I never knew him. I had a few letters from him, apologising about everything. I don't understand why _he_ was apologising though. I know Lou and Fran didn't have things easy with him, but Diane is still our mother," he says.

"I'm sorry."

Bash smiles a little. "About what? It's not you trying to make my life hell. Although I just want them to have Louis' money and leave me alone."

She turns her head slightly, puckering her lips. They meet his own in a sweet kiss when he leans over to answer to her demand.

"You don't need that man's money. He wasn't your father nor was he in your life. I think he feels guilty for not being there for Diane when she needed him the most. He was trying to make up for that by funding your future. Not that you need it because... Henry's dead."

Bash stills. "How about that?" He asks thoughtfully. "My two fathers dying and leaving me a whole bunch of money I have no idea what to do with. Francis is taking over the company and I'll be at home more. No more negotiating deals with pricks and the like - just time with my wife..." He smiles sadly. "My _woman_ and our kids."

"Give Louise and Francesca their father's money and support Francis in what comes next," she says. "Henry can't hurt us anymore. Can't dictate what we do or don't do..."

"It wasn't my idea," he says quietly, leaning back.

She frowns. "What wasn't?" This time, she sits up to face him.

He looks at her. "The divorce."

She tenses up, turning away. "I remember every little detail of that day..."

"Nor was the full custody, Kenna. God, I'm so sorry - it was all Henry. I think it was his twisted way of having you back in his bed. I went along with it because..."

"He threatened you?"

"More or less. He was prone to threatening his eldest sons and wife. He even threatened my mother after years of no contact. Out of the blue, he told her that she'd mourn me if I didn't do what he told me to do," he admits. "I hate to say, but I'm glad that monster is dead. He turned me into one, I did everything to protect Francis and he used my own brother against me. Especially after the Mary situation and finding out about your history with him, I... I let myself be brainwashed."

"You don't need to tell me all of this," she says, taking his hand and kissing it. "I know it hurts."

He nods. "I know you've noticed my scars, Kenna. You never asked about them and I was relieved. Everyone else I slept with always wanted to know the story except you," he replies. "My father was behind every story. As a kid, he'd visit and give me some money to get whatever I wanted. Then, he'd lash out when things never went his way... Even as a teenager, I was frightened of him. As an adult, I gave up because I had nothing to live for. Until Adrien."

"And me?"

"Not back then, no. Now, I can't live without you," he confesses. "Even though I barely spent time with him, he was the one I was protecting. I couldn't let Henry turn my son into him or me. But then I don't know what happened. Especially with hurting you those times and having Adrien witness everything... I'm so sorry, Kenna."

She squeezes his hand, saying, "I forgive you. For _everything_. The pain, the sorrow, the grief..."

"I don't deserve it, Kenna. Don't give me-"

"You have it, be quiet," she says, kissing him. "I don't forgive people lightly."

"Exactly. You've had a great amount of patience for me, I don't even understand _how_. A marriage full of unhappiness and you stuck it out."

She looks down. "I made a promise to myself and to God," she tells him. "When I was little, I always told myself that I'd have a marriage for life. I dreamed of a perfect marriage, kids, house, the whole lot. "

"And I ruined that," he says.

She smirks. "A little. It's fine. I kept my faith though, most of the time. I prayed, prayed for the light to guide me through. The divorce put things into perspective."

"I should go to Church more."

"You really should," she replies. "It will help a lot."

He shrugs. "I guess. Also talking to a therapist is helping. Any support system, I'll get."

"That's good. Really healthy and speaking of healthy, let's go out and eat _unhealthily. _I'm craving a full breakfast and can't be arsed to make it myself," she says.

"I'll treat you. Anything you want," he tells her, getting out of the bed and taking his shirt off.

He hears her gasp and looks at her curiously.

"What is it?" He asks.

Her eyes focus on his chest, more specifically the space above his heart on the left side. He looks down and smirks.

"You like?"

"A _tattoo_?" She breathes out.

He nods. "Got it after my time in America."

'America' is code for _'when I sought help for all my fuck ups and excessive drinking'_.

"I mean it, Kenna - I love you. Now, your name is inked onto my heart."

"Why _Mckenna_?" She whines a little. "I got rid of the first two letters for a reason."

He sees her grin and takes her words lightly. "Your name is gorgeous and I'm sure your father is very proud of himself for choosing it. Hey, did you like the necklace and the bracelet?"

"I'm wearing them both, aren't I?" She smiles.

"You are, indeed," he replies approvingly. "There's more where those come from."

She raises her eyebrows. "Bash, you don't need to spend money on me."

"Of course, I do."

She frowns a little. "To be honest, every gift from you so far has been a huge apology. I remember every gift being an apology except the ones when we first started dating. I mean, the Christmas before our separation - you hurt me by accident and ended up giving your _mother's_ gifts to me. I don't mean to start anything, but can you understand my apprehension?"

He nods, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, you're right. To be honest, our whole relationship has been a whole apology to you. I was silently apologising for not loving you enough. I can tell you that the ring you're wearing is the only thing that isn't an apology."

"Just stop with the gifts and the flowers, then," she says. "For now. I... I don't want to hurt you or anything, but I don't feel comfortable. Considering you never liked spending money on me before and well, I'm not _materialistic_." She is a little, but she won't admit it, he probably even sussed her out.

He narrows his eyes at her words, trying to decipher her tone. "As you wish."

"Don't be upset, Bash. I just want to come to a day where any gift you give to me really means something. Like something you'd give me on a holiday, or my birthday, or our anniversary... Just not an apology."

"Okay. How about our breakfast?"

She shrugs. "I'm not really feeling going out."

"Then, what do you want me to cook for you? Crepes or pancakes or waffles even? I saw a waffle maker somewhere," he says, heading into the bathroom to turn the shower on.

"I don't know..." She trails off. "Not really feeling those either."

He looks at her, peeking over the door. "Then what?"

She gives him a look. "Why haven't you guessed it by now?"

Then it dawns on him. "But..."

"I want to work up my appetite, Sebastian. We will make it work somehow," she says. "Hurry up and turn that shower off."

"Already done."

...

_Seven Years Ago_

"_Francis_ is setting me up with his brother?" Kenna asked dubiously.

Mary nodded, crossing her legs. "Yeah, Bash is a really good guy-"

"Who _loves_ you," Kenna retorted, cutting her off. "Oh, come on Mary. This is just a way to get over you. Honey, I'm not rebound material."

"He's over me. Bash asked of you - apparently, you made quite an impression at our sixteenth."

Kenna rolled her eyes. "That was _years_ ago. Six years ago? The first time I'd seen him since then was your wedding and as the Maid of Honour and Best Man, we were obviously paired together. Was that Francis's doing as well?"

"Kenna, Bash could be the one for you," Mary told her, sipping her tea. "Just get to know him."

"Fine. Give me his-"

She was cut off by her phone whistling and she checked it to see that it was a new message. She opened it and showed Mary.

"Someone's keen," she said, smirking. She began reading it aloud, "_'Hi, got your number from Mary. This is Bash, the one who shared a bottle of champagne with you that night and danced with you at the wedding just because... x'_"

"Very keen if he added a kiss," Mary replied. "Go on, he's made the first step - the ball is on your side of the court."

Kenna pursed her lips, twirling her mobile between her fingers. "We'll see."

The next morning, she was surprised with flowers delivered to her apartment. They were red roses and a note was attached.

[Dear Kenna, would you join me for dinner tonight? Bash x]

Her heart fluttered and she quickly replied via text, sending two kisses after her message. She received a quick reply back.

{From Mr Gorgeous: **I already knew you'd say yes.**}

After reading the text with furrowed brows, there was a knock on her door and it revealed the same bell boy from earlier. He handed her a large flat box and another one, a much smaller one like a shoebox.

"Thank you," she said, closing the door behind him and opening the first box.

It was a black, one-shouldered and high-collared Versace dress. She gasped at the dress, searching for a price tag. Finding none, she already clocked just how much this dress cost. Her mother had many from the same brand at home. It even had a cape.

She opened the shoebox, revealing a pair of black patent leather courts with silver bows attached to the tips. They were Louboutins.

"Oh my, God," she whispered, inspecting the items.

She had a few good Versace dresses in her wardrobe as well as other well-known brands. She was pretty well off, her freelance job as an event planner to the elite making her quite a lot of money.

{From Mr Gorgeous: **Well?**}

She smiled a little, clicking her tongue as she said she'd see him at eight that evening.

At dinner, he helped her pull her seat out and push it in as she sat down. He paid, he flirted, he listened to everything she said.

"Why me?" She asked during dessert. "Last I knew, you and Mary-"

"You mean Mary who is married to my brother and me, who is having dinner with the most beautiful heiress in the world?"

She tutted. "I see," she said. "This is about _money_."

"No," Bash quickly said. "Mary told me a lot about you since the day we met at your party. I never knew your family were _that_ rich before I met you."

She began playing with her dessert fork. "Here I thought you were being nice."

He sighed, leaning back. "Kenna, I-"

"I see what this is. You can't have Mary so you'll settle for second best - a wealthy woman of status, wealth and _connections_. I'm guessing your family needs mine?" She asked him, placing her fork down and getting ready to collect her purse and leave.

"Please, just give me a minute," he told her, taking her hand. "I'll admit, I don't think I'll ever forget Mary especially since she's my sister-in-law and we'll have to see each other a lot. But, I did see something in you, Kenna, when we met. If you give me a chance, I'll make sure you don't regret it."

"I don't think that's-"

"I'm an honest man, Kenna. I'd never lie to you, I can't lie..." He said, clearing his throat. "I think Mary doesn't hold a candle to you."

"It's going to take a lot more than a few sweet words, expensive gifts, roses and flirting to get with me, Sebastian," she said, standing up. "Have a nice night."

As she walked away, she didn't see the amused smile on his face as he eyed her strutting off.

That night, he turned up at her door and she answered it with her laced robe tied around her petite waist.

"Bash-"

"You're right, it's going to take a lot more than a few sweet words, expensive gifts, roses and flirting. Kenna, I don't understand what I'm feeling, but all I know is that I want you."

She frowned, letting him step inside. "You barely know me."

"I _want_ to get to know you, Kenna," he said, closing the door behind him as he stepped closer to her. "Every bit of you and more."

She shivered, pulling his head down so their lips could meet in a heated kiss. She pulled away and saw the lust in his eyes.

She began unbuttoning his shirt as he worked on his belt. With three items of clothing on the floor, she led him to her bed and pushed him onto it.

"I normally don't do this on the first date," she whispered. "Or at all. I haven't had..." She began blushing.

"A-A virgin? You're a virgin?" He breathed out a little shocked, wiping her hair behind her ears so he could look at her clearly. "Well, I'll treat you like a queen if you're ready that is."

She searched his eyes. There was something about him, she couldn't tell what exactly. She felt confusingly safe and he was just as sweet as he was when she was sixteen.

"I... I don't know," she whispered.

"Okay, we don't have to. Have you done other things?"

She nodded. "Just not fucked, okay?" She told him, feeling slightly embarrassed.

He kissed her, caressing her cheek. "Whatever you want, I'm down. I want you to tell me _exactly_ what you want me to do for you."

Moments later, their bodies move with perfect synchronisation. He sent her to euphoria many times that night and the next morning. He treated her wonderfully, he was way better than her past lovers.

When she finally woke up the next morning after having sex earlier, she smelt breakfast being cooked. Slipping her Victoria's Secret nightie on, she slinked out of bed and went into the kitchen. She smiled at the dull ache in her body, blushing when she saw that he was only in his boxer briefs as he cooked.

Bash was cooking eggs, pancakes, toast - the whole lot. He turned and gave her a lazy smirk.

"Worked up an appetite, did you?" He teased her.

She laughed. "Last night _and_ this morning were _spectacular_..."

"Well, it wasn't all me, Kenna. Got most of that from you," he replied. "Do you regret it? Me being your first?"

She shook her head. "Even if this is a one-night stand, I can't deny you were a considerate lover."

"Who says this is a one-night stand?" He asked her, starting to put the food onto plates.

"Wait, what?" She laughed, taking a seat.

"I meant it when I told you that I wanted you," he told her. "If you're patient with me, I'll give you everything and more."

She nodded. "If I'm patient with you regarding getting over Mary, you mean. I'll have you know, I'm not the type of woman to be anyone's rebound. I certainly don't take my friends' sloppy seconds, especially since one was my older brother."

"No, a woman like you is definitely not prone to being a rebound," he said, placing a plate in front of her. "I know that."

"You do understand my doubt? It wasn't even a few months ago where you and Francis fought over Mary. I'm definitely a rebound," she said. "Or I would be if I pursued a relationship with you - which I'm not."

"Something you want in the whole wide world, anything - tell me," he suddenly said, taking a seat beside her.

She frowned a little. "Is this a joke?"

"No. Tell me."

"To find someone. A man of wealth, status and..." She trailed off, shaking her head a little and digging into her breakfast.

"And what?"

She looked up. "Who treats me well." She glanced down at her whistling phone. "I've got some meetings. Last night was great, Bash and thanks for you know, treating me well, but that was only a one-off thing."

She got up, leaving her unfinished breakfast and began heading to her room.

"Close the door on your way out, thanks," she called over her shoulder.

When she left her apartment door the next day, she was surprised with a bunch of flowers and chocolates from Bash. It became a repetitive occurrence until two weeks later when they stopped.

She received a text this time, apologising for being full on and that he does like her. Like really like her, always on his mind like her.

She finally gave him a chance and they ended up in her bed that night, two finished bottles of wine and the chocolates she'd collected every morning on the floor.

...

_Present Day_

"I love you," Bash says, laying back down on the bed. "Remember our first time?"

She scowls, rubbing her bare bump. "How are you _so_ good?"

"I'm not, that was you. How were _you_ so good for a virgin?" He asks her.

She blushes furiously. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I think I do," he teases her. "I don't want to drag up the past, but when we weren't intimate, I'd hear you."

"Oh, lovely," she says, rolling her eyes. "How embarrassing."

"Don't be," he tells her. "It's normal-"

"Can we not talk about me doing that, please?" She asks, her blush refusing to leave. "You made me very sexually frustrated during our marriage."

He laughs, kissing her. "Will you let me have a shower this time, babe?"

"Urgh, go ahead. When you're done, can you help me have a bath?"

He nods, getting out of bed and not bothering to get redressed as he heads to the bathroom. The shower turns on and soon, he's under it with his eyes closed.

He hears her say, "I can't wait to get this baby out of me."

He laughs, using her shampoo to wash his hair. He'd have to buy some of his to leave here just in case.

When he's done, he helps her into the bath and gets in behind her, hugging her from behind.

"We haven't done this in a while," he says, leaning them back.

"Promise me that we'll be okay," she whispers fearfully as he starts soaking her hair.

"I promise, Kenna," he says into her ear, making her shiver despite the warm water.

She closes her eyes when he shampoos her hair, massaging her scalp. It makes her smile widely, a faint blush on her cheeks.

"You did this every single week when I was pregnant with Adrien," she says softly. "I missed this."

"You never asked for much - any foot rubs, back massages or anything like that. You'd get them done professionally."

"I had my own money, I am an independent woman," she replies, smirking a bit. "The little things, Bash. The things we don't ask for but have them done."

He nods. "Like whenever you had my dinner ready or a cup of tea or coffee in the morning... I'm not the most romantic man in the world, but I'll try for you."

"I don't want you to think I want you changed," she tells him. "I don't know what you I fell for."

"The fake me," he says quietly. "Remember that time when you told me you weren't going to be anyone's rebound and asked me to leave? And I ended up sending you flowers and the like for two weeks?"

She tenses up. "Well, we all know how fake that was. Did I really turn you on and had you interested in me back then?"

"You turned me on, yes. I wasn't interested though. You know why," he replies. "I thought you were beautiful, even more so than Mary. Mary's personality is way different than yours, but they are similar in a way because you grew up together like sisters. Sometimes, things I saw in her were you and things I saw in you were her. You both affect each other."

She sighs. "Mary is what every girl and woman wants to be and what every man wants. I was not that. I was sporty, girly, seductive, confident and I always wanted my way, no matter what I had to do to get that. Why did you fall for Mary? You both wanted completely different things..."

"We promised to be honest with each other, right?" He asks her when he washes out the shampoo from her hair.

"Yeah," she says, scared.

He swallows deeply, telling her, "The minute I saw Mary after all those years since we were kids, I was taken. She was so beautiful, so clever, a natural born leader. She was the kindest and purest soul I knew. Even at fourteen, she had begun running her family business with her brother and she was so business savvy. She impressed me. Her laugh, her smile, her scent all had me hooked. When she and Francis began having problems before he proposed, I saw my chance and I took it. I wanted her and I was willing to hurt my brother to have her."

She moves away from him when he tries to kiss her neck. He recoils, hurt and his mind starts calling him 'stupid' for not choosing his words carefully and for hurting her. Maybe he should have downplayed it, not give her the full truth.

He realises that Kenna is crying, but she doesn't pull away from his bare chest. He sees her sobs shake her body slightly, disturbing the water.

"I'd fall in love with Mary too," she says, her voice breaking. "She's fucking perfect. She always has been since we were little. The first to be picked, the first to be asked out by guys. Even at our Year 11 and 13 Proms, she was voted to be Prom Queen if we did that at our school. All of us girls were _Mary's Girls_. No one bothered to know us except Mary. Sure, I was popular only because guys had said they slept or kiss me, but Mary was naturally popular because of who she was. I had a lot of family issues during my mid to late teens and the more the pain was, the more I was in her shadow. Lola, Greer and Aylee were fine with it - they had money, who cared if they didn't have adoring fans or other friends than us? But, I wanted to be loved because I was barely getting that from home."

"I didn't mean to upset you-"

"Shut up," she snaps, sniffing. "Sorry, my fucking hormones are all over the place."

She lets his lips meet her neck and she turns away from him, wiping her tears.

She tells him, "I'd sometime stay over at one of the girls' because if I went home, I'd have to study and study and study. I would never get a chance to breathe because my parents were always breathing down my neck. I remember asking my dad to come to a football match I was in for my school's first team and he said yes. On the day, he was nowhere to be seen, but his personal assistant was there filming me play. At dinner, he pretended he was there, but he knew I knew he wasn't. Everything I wanted, Mary got and more. Everything that was mine, she had to have it because her _dad was dead_ or because she was better than the rest of us. Sometimes, I asked myself why the fuck I was friends with her if everything was according to her. Then, I'd tell myself that I loved her like a sister, she was the only one who knew what was going on with me. The only one who understood..."

"Kenna... I never knew you were going through all that-"

"Why do you think I was scared to call my parents during our marriage?" She asks him. "They hated you and I'd have to say that they were right. I could hear their 'I told you so's in my bloody head when Adrien and I left for England. My family were always good at judging people. I thought I would be too."

"I know you've forgiven me, but I still can't accept it because I don't deserve it. I cause you so much pain and I'm just a reminder of that and what happened with Mary."

She shrugs. "It's in the past, Bash. I may not be completely over it, but I love you so much it hurts. I'd rather have that pain than the pain of you not being with me." She turns to the side to look at him. "If Francis and Mary ended things today, would you want her back?"

"God, no," he breathes out. "Because I've fought for _you_. Not even that, I'm scared to lose you, Kenna. I resent Mary for making you feel worthless. As I said, you're more beautiful and perfect than she is. I even resent myself for making you feel shit for all those years. I used you and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I don't think I'll ever stop being sorry."

She lets out a laugh, brings a hand behind her to curl around his neck and massage it. "I don't think I'll ever stop accepting your apologies then." She gasps when she feels something and feels him chuckle against her skin. "Sebastian, control yourself! We've literally just had-"

"It's not my fault you're so goddamn sexy, Kenna. I did say you turned me on."

She giggles. "Again, we'll work on your bedroom skills, Bash. Maybe, you can surprise me after this little one is out."

"Minx," he replies, making her laugh loudly. "I think it's a girl."

"Yeah, I do so too."

"Do you want to think of names?"

She nods. "I was thinking of a French name."

"Our son is already too French," he jokes. "Are you sure? I'm certain your parents would want to be involved so maybe a Scottish name?"

"_Perrine_," she says. "She will be our rock. It's similar to Adrien and it's a lovely French name - the feminine version of _Perrin_."

Bash smiles. "That's beautiful. At least we're more prepared this time... How about _Eve_ from the Bible? Or even _Eva_? Or even Mckenzie to please your _handsome_ father."

Giggling she says, "How about _Aveline_? _Ava_ for short."

"That's beautiful. _Perrine_ will be her first name though," he says, rubbing her bump and feeling their child kick. "I think she likes our choices."

"Perrine Aveline Mckenzie Poitiers, our longed-for child," Kenna says.

"Oh, we're going with your father's influence, are we?" He teases her.

She nods. "By the way, I gave Adrien a second name when he was born..."

"Did you? Huh, never realised. What is it?"

"_Alastair_, like Alexander. I bet you didn't know that my father is Robert Alexander Beaton III and Alex is the fourth," she tells him. "We call Alexander by his middle name to save him the embarrassment of being a fourth of something."

Bash chuckles. "He does look like one of those guys who'd be named after a fifth-generation relative. Just like little Henri."

"That's Scottish aristocracy for you," Kenna says. "Everyone will call our daughter by _Perrine_ and we will call her by _Ava_ or _Aveline_. She's our longed-for baby. We've been through so much and we're working on rebuilding our family and she'll be welcomed into a loving family."

"If someone had told me that I'd be a father of two, in a happy relationship and living in England, well soon for the last one, I'd laugh in their face. I never imagined stepping out of France. After getting with you, I was willing to live here in England to run away from my problems. I never even imagined having children, not even with Mary. What spell have you got me under?"

She squeezes his bicep from behind her. "The correct question is what spell have _you_ got me under?" She replies easily. "You're a natural dad even though you've fucked up some things. Don't do that with our daughter."

"I won't, I promise. So certain it's a girl?"

"Yeah. Since I had the miscarriage," she confesses sadly. "That baby will always be in my heart, it just wasn't her time."

"I grieved, Kenna. I'm so sorry that I didn't before, that I didn't trust you or believe you. I practically drove you into his arms and I blamed you. It was all my fault, not yours," he says, kissing her back. "It hit like a million bricks when I think about that day. I'd never seen my mother so disappointed in me - I've seen that look from her many times after then. I don't want to lose her."

"You won't," she says, turning slightly to see that he's crying. "God, you're emotional..."

He smiles through his tears, kissing her softly on her cheek. "I'll never want to stop kissing every fucking part of you, Kenna. I'm sorry..."

"Hey, Drunk? Shut up and soap my body already," she says, making him burst into laughter. "Maybe, I'll even let you kiss one spot in particular..."


	17. Chapter 17

_Sunday the twelfth of April_, Kenna writes in her notebook, underlining the things she has to do on that Easter Sunday.

Her family are at her place, having driven down from Scotland and arriving at five in the morning. Alex was joining them at ten with Bash, Diane and Adrien in tow once he picked them up from the airport after his night shift.

"Kenna, you should be resting!" Her mother scolds, tying an apron around her waist. "I won't have you up on your feet cooking. I've got your sister and Mary helping." She spots Catherine laughing with Claude. "And even those Valois women."

"Upstairs, bed, now," Mary orders her, agreeing with Joanna as Paisley helps her up.

Kenna feels huge and horrible despite everyone telling her she's barely even a size twelve pregnant. Maybe, it's the fact that her ankles have swollen to the point that none of her shoes fit so she wears her slippers every day.

"I want to help," she says. "It's my kitchen."

"And we'll leave it exactly how it was when we're finished," Paisley tells her. "Come on, I'll help you get up the stairs."

She takes her time much to her sister's annoyance and when she is snug inside her bed, she closes her eyes.

It's only half six, the women in her life being crazy for starting to cook this early, but they were going to Church.

As much as she wanted to, she couldn't go to Church. Her body ached and her doctor had warned her that she should be resting as much as she could. That and her swollen feet were painful.

She feels winded, just sitting up in her bed. She considers answering her work mail, maybe planning to help people with their upcoming events. She hadn't been an event planner in _years,_ but she still got requests for hire.

In France, she was a glorified assistant to a few managers in Renaude's company. She had become a manager after investing a few hundred thousand into the business, but she was never a top dog. She just worked there to get out of the house when Bash was working.

She winces when she feels her stomach contract and she plays it off as false contractions - it's too soon. She's read up on everything regarding her pregnancy.

Kenna never used to be so concerned over her pregnancies, but this one was special. She didn't want to make any mistakes, she was frightened to make mistakes with this one.

She smiles when she feels Perrine kick. At least she believes it's Perrine. Not that she wouldn't mind having another son.

There's a fear at the back of her mind. She thinks about it daily and it doesn't stop crippling into her mind.

What if she dies?

She had a difficult birth with Adrien and Bash had recounted what happened since she fell unconscious upon hearing their little boy's cries. She couldn't remember much, only that she woke up being frightened that her son wasn't with her. But he was and everything was fine after that.

Tears fall down her cheeks as she finally succumbs into sleep, the fears swirling in her mind.

When she wakes up hours later, the house is quiet and she feels a body beside her.

Grinning, she runs a lazy hand through Bash's hair as he sleeps. His arm is over her lap and he looks at peace.

She checks the time. Half past ten.

She guesses that the Church service would have started by now and gets out of bed, using the headboard to support her way up.

She heads downstairs and finds Douglas asleep on one sofa and Alexander on another. They've left the TV on at a low volume, their snores being loud in her ears.

Alexander comes around after a few minutes and watches as she starts ordering her home about.

"Adrien's gone to Church with the rest," he says, yawning as she dusts off the mantlepiece. "Hey."

"Hi," she replies, giving him a smile. "Thanks for picking them up."

He shrugs, getting up. "No problem. Let me get that for you," he tells her, taking over from dusting. "Put your feet up and expect to have me fussing about you."

She blushes and does as told. "How is work?" She smirks.

Alex gives her a knowing look. "_Archie's_ fine. We're good, yeah. What about you and Bash?"

"We're getting there," she tells her brother, sniffling. "Things will be easier with him and Adrien living in England. We thought of names for the baby."

"That's lovely," Alex replies. "Want to share?"

Kenna nods. "Before I do, do you know I named Adrien after you and Dougie?"

"Don't tell me his middle name is _Dougie_," Douglas groans out as he wakes up.

She giggles. "No. It's _Olivier_."

"Ah, _Oliver_. That was Dad's great uncle's name. He served in the Army," Douglas tells her. "I guess I wanted to live up to our ancestor."

"Are you glad you did?" Alex asks.

Douglas nods happily. "Of course. I learnt a lot about discipline, teamwork and how much I should value you miserable lot. It was a real eye-opener."

"Glad for you," Alex says, smiling. "Anyway, how is Adrien named after me?"

Kenna gives him a sly smirk. "_Alistair_."

"Very fitting," Alex replies, approvingly. "Well, what have you got for Baby?"

"We think it's a girl. Every appointment I've gone to seems to confirm it, but the little one hides every time," she says. "We're going to name her _Perrine_."

"Very French and formal," Douglas says.

She nods. "Perrine Aveline Mckenzie."

"Ah, so there is a sign that she's Scottish too?" Alex teases her. "Well, it's not long until we see her."

She gives her brothers a wide smile. "Right, who is going to cook me some breakfast?"

"It's nearly lunch," Douglas replies, checking his watch.

Kenna shrugs. "And so? Don't know if you've forgotten, but I'm eating for two."

"Come on then, Trouble," he says, getting up. He turns to Alex. "You're helping, Mr Doctor."

"If it wasn't for Kenna, you wouldn't see my arse leaving that sofa," Alex mumbles, getting up.

...

At twelve, she heads back upstairs before everyone comes home by half past. She goes into her room and sees that Bash is still asleep.

"Bash?" She calls him softly, getting into bed.

She runs her fingers through his hair and his eyes flutter open, greenish-blue eyes landing on her.

"Jet-lagged," he mumbles, not making any effort to lift his head up from the pillow. "Hey."

She smiles. "Hi," she whispers back, taking him in. "Feels like ages since I last saw you. I didn't even see Adrien before they whisked him off to Church."

"Yeah, Mary and Francis took him because he was excited to see the kids," he explains, shifting so he laid on his back. "Alexander took me to the apartment before we came here. Still in a decent condition and I'll move in tomorrow and sort out everything."

"Wish I could help," she says lightly. "I'm inclined to be on bed rest."

He gives her a smile. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good. Perrine's an active baby, but I'm good," she tells him, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

He picks up on it. "What's wrong?"

She waves it off. "Just pre-birth jitters."

"Kenna..."

"What if I die this time?" She asks fearfully. "It was so unexpected after having Adrien, apparently my heart stopped for a few minutes. I felt like crap for three months after that."

"You'll be fine. We're more prepared this time," Bash assures her, kissing her hand. "We have all the information we need."

She turns to him. "If you have to make a choice, choose her."

This time, he sits up and shakes his head. "I love our child, but I won't be able to make such a choice. Between my wife and my child, what sort of choice is that? An evil one, that is."

She gives him a wry smile. "I'm not your wife. At least, not anymore."

"You're my wife just as much as I'm your husband. We don't need a paper to tell us that," he says. "The divorce was a wake-up call to do things properly and when we're ready, we might take those steps again so that should anything happen to me, you'll be protected."

She squeezes his hand and says, "I don't need your life insurance or anything to survive, Bash. I'm my own woman, I've got my own money-"

"I know, I know. Kenna, you, the kids, my mother and my brother are the only ones I deeply care about. If anything happens to me, I want you all to be supported even if you don't need it."

"Bash," she starts, softly. "Choose our baby over me. I've lived a life worth being proud of - she has a lot to offer."

"Don't talk like that, please," he begs. "I won't. I'll choose you."

"I'll resent you," she teases him. "Seriously, Bash, choose the baby."

"Adrien needs you."

"He has everyone in the world to help him and most of all, _you_. Please, Bash," she whispers, wiping his tears.

He didn't even know he was crying as he shakes his head. "Kenna, you're hurting me. Don't believe that."

"I don't. It's just in case, Bash," she says, kissing him.

He responds for a second or so before pulling away. "We won't have to go through that. You'll be fine."

"Yeah," she says, smiling. "I'll be fine."

But something tells her otherwise.

...

Tears stream down Kenna's cheeks. Happy ones as she holds Adrien to her chest tightly.

"I've missed you so much, Adi," she says into his ear.

"You won't ever leave me now? We're together forever?" Adrien asks her, looking into her eyes as he cups her cheeks.

She gives him a firm nod. "Yes, we're together forever. Did Meme and Papa look after you well?"

Adrien pulls a face. "Meme forced me to eat peas. Papa was gone, but he talked to me on my tablet. When he came back, he read me _four_ bedtime stories every day!"

"Four?" Kenna asks, impressed as she grins. "That's great! And you need to eat your peas, sweetheart."

"I don't like them."

"You're very small, baby. If you eat them, you'll grow as tall as Papa!" Kenna tells him, wiping her tears. "Alright, go and play with your cousins."

She watches as he runs out of her bedroom and soon, she sees Bash enter as he tickles Adrien on his way in. He's dressed smartly and she eyes him up.

"Someone's made an effort," she says, a little flirty.

He grins. "Considering that I've got the Beaton pride eyeing me up as if they want to kill me, might as well make an effort. Catherine even complimented me. _Catherine_, Kenna."

"Yes, she has been quite cordial to me too," she replies. "What's going on downstairs? I've been ordered to remain in bed until the food comes out."

"Not much. The kids are making a mess so we've sent them to the garden. Uh, Greer stopped by with gifts and Lola, her siblings and Stephane are here. Apparently, her parents went to Thailand for some mindfulness retreat..."

"How lovely," Kenna says, smiling. "Aunt Janet finally convinced Uncle Malcolm to go to Thailand of all places! Wait, did you say Lola's siblings are here?"

Bash nods. "More people to feed, yeah."

"Have you met her brother?"

"Which one? There were two."

"Ah, Landon and Sutton are both here," she says under her breath. "The older one - the blonde one."

Bash sits down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I met both of them. Spoke with the blonde one a little bit. Why?"

"I'll be honest with you," she says, reaching her hand out for him to take.

He instead joins her and lays down beside her, his back against the headboard. He then takes her hand.

"Go ahead."

She blushes. "Landon was sort of my first love. Well, not really. We kissed when I was eleven and he was twelve. It never went far like a relationship, but seeing him after all these years..."

"Feelings came back?" Bash asks quietly. "I-I understand."

"It doesn't mean anything, Bash. I-"

"It was the same with Rowan, Kenna. I'm fine with what you've just told me," he cuts her off.

Her eye twitches and she takes a deep breath in before releasing it. "Do you want me to tell you about all the guys I've been with?"

"I don't know if I want to know," he says, glancing away.

"I know about all the women in your life. Even the ones whose names I don't know."

"I want you to forget them and the people you've been with. Even the guy downstairs," Bash tells her, turning to face her. "I want to be the only one you think about."

She grips his chin gently. "Nathan, Dylan, Jonathan, Henry, Antoine..."

"Kenna-"

"Landon, Peter, Harry-"

"Kenna, stop."

"Elena, Briony, Freya-"

"You've been with women?"

She nods. "Yeah," she confirms. "Henry would invite women and... Well, that's in the past. I was confused for a while after we ended things when I turned seventeen and I got into a relationship with Elena. It wasn't _me_. I didn't feel comfortable, it didn't feel _right_ to me after Henry. Maybe, it was because of you."

"Why me?"

"How you were at my sixteenth birthday party. All sweet, mysterious and all. I fell in love with you. I never knew Henry was your father, I swear."

"I forgive you for that. I know how my father was like," Bash tells her. "Did you love anyone else?"

Kenna nods. "Landon, as I said. That was only a schoolgirl crush. I'd never thought about love or relationships until I started secondary school. Landon was a childhood friend and we were close back then so..." She sighs. "And Antoine."

Bash scoffs, turning away from her as her hand leaves the grip it had on his chin. He shakes his head in disbelief.

"Antoine?"

"It was only a little thing. After the divorce papers, I considered myself being with him. He was good with Adrien and he treated me with respect, love and care. If it was truly over for us, I would have gone long-term with Antoine. I love him in the respect that he was always good to me, even when he was a manipulative son of a bitch. Then again, you were too. I have a type."

Bash turns to her. "Petty bitches are my thing, don't worry."

She laughs, kissing him. She's relieved that he's not upset. "Hearing you call me a 'bitch' is so sexy."

"Are you constantly turned on? Like all the time?" He asks her, smiling.

She nods. "Of course, I am. I'm with the sexiest man in the whole of France."

"Oh," he tuts. "You can't say that. You haven't met _all_ the men in France."

"Out of the ones I know, you're the sexiest," she starts.

"Yeah?"

"Most gorgeous..."

"Keep going," he says, shifting so he was kneeling in front of her.

She grins, watching him unbutton his shirt. "Most fit."

He moves on to his belt. "Glad to see that you've noticed my six pack."

"Hmm, you've always had one. Glad to see that you've maintained it."

He laughs. "You were saying, Beautiful?"

"Okay, what else? Uh, can't think of anything else," she says teasingly.

He stops in his actions of slipping his belt off. "Then, the show can't continue."

"Goddamn it," she jests. "Let's be happy it didn't. I see that you didn't bother closing the door and God knows who probably came up looking for the bathroom and saw all this."

She squeals when his lips attack her neck, laughing as she tries to push him off her.

"Let them see everything," he whispers into her ear as he slips the belt off.

"No, Bash!" She laughs. "Come on, at least lock the-"

"Oh, for the love of-"

Bash jumps from her, both of them turning to see Catherine standing there with her arms crossed.

"Little ladies' room anyone?" She asks, looking between them.

"Uh, to your left, last door..." Kenna mumbles, fixing her hair.

Catherine lets out a smirk before she finally leaves, but not before closing the door for them.

"I'm never going to live this down," Bash says, making Kenna laugh. "Maybe, we should hold this off until the house is not full of people."

"As I said," she teases him. "Are we good?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We kind of quickly swept the whole people I've loved or been with under the carpet," she says.

He shrugs. "Are they here?"

"One is downstairs," she says lightly.

"Apart from him, are they?"

"No."

"Do they have you?"

"No."

"Then, I have nothing to be concerned about," he tells her, kissing her. "Come on, let's find a nice dress for you to wear."

She grins. "Are you going to help me choose an outfit for Easter?"

"Yeah-"

"I've already chosen one considering I look like a bloated whale in everything," she says. "It's the best I've got, but you can help me get dressed."

"I'd rather undress you, but that's fine with me."

...

Sunday 31st May.

"Just deep breaths, everything will be fine," Joanna tells her daughter, playing with the younger woman's brown locks. "They will take you in soon. Are you sure you want him and not me there?"

Kenna nods. "It's his baby. Thanks for your support though, Mum," she says. "Will you be here when it's done?"

Joanna gives her a wide smile. "With chocolates, flowers and the like, my love."

"How's Dad?"

"Fretting all the way in Scotland," her mother informs her. "He, your brothers and Paisley are awaiting the call."

There is a knock on the door and Alexander enters, placing a box of chocolates on the side table by the bed.

"Hey, Trouble," he greets Kenna with a kiss on her cheek. He turns to his stepmother, giving her a tight hug. "Hey, Mum."

"Hi," Joanna replies, wrapping an arm around his waist as they turn to Kenna. "Alexander has beaten me to it. Enjoy the chocolates."

Kenna blushes, mumbling a 'thanks' towards Alexander's way. She grips the duvet tightly, her nerves getting to her.

"If anything happens, can you both promise me that you'll be there for Bash and Adrien? If I don't make it, help them with the baby..." She requests, pointedly looking at them both.

"Kenna," her mother breaths out. "Of course, but nothing is going to happen to you."

"I feel like there's something bad that's going to happen, though," she confesses. "It's in my gut and I can't shake it off. Bash... I told Bash and he said that I shouldn't say things like that."

Alex sighs. "For once, I agree with him," he tells her. "Kenna, the doctors know exactly what they're doing. There's blood for you if you need a transfusion and the midwives are specially trained to-"

"I know," she says, whining. "But even still."

She quickly sobers up and gives Bash a smile when he enters and places a long kiss on her forehead.

"Not long now," he tells her. "Until we see Baby P."

"Yeah," she says, grinning.

Her eyes meet her mother's and brother's, silently begging them to not bring anything up.

"Right, let me get back to work. Let me know of any updates," Alex says, kissing her cheek and leaving.

Her mother also collects her things. "I'm just going to get some tea. I'll give you two some space."

After she leaves, Bash sits down on the bed by her feet.

"I got you something," he says, handing her a gift.

She gives him an exasperated look, accepting the small box. "Sebastian..."

"Come on, it's nothing apologetic, I promise," he says.

She opens it and sees a charm with three letters on it. "_A, O, A_."

"I thought it would be fitting," he says. "Should replace the other one and I haven't got Baby's yet because we're yet to see them."

"And you really don't want to get a charm in case Baby isn't a girl?" She asks knowingly. "Thanks, Bash. I love it."

Before he can reply, her doctor enters and tells them that it's time. He gives her a comforting smile, assuring her of anything with last minute details and a lowdown of what's going to happen.

"I've performed many, many caesareans in my life, Kenna - I assure you everything will go smoothly. You'll be awake during the procedure and hopefully, you'll see Baby."

A short while later, she mutters a quick prayer and swallows deeply. She hears Bash getting prepped to head inside with her and she waits.

She giggles, some of her nerves disappearing when the anaesthetist says a joke about her job. Soon, she feels numb and starts to make jokes about how Bash looks like much to his amusement and the people treating her.

"It feels weird," Kenna says after they've opened her up and began the procedure. "Like something is happening, but isn't..."

"Really?" Bash asks, nudging her cheek.

She laughs. "I feel weird. Hey, doesn't my doctor look like that celebrity?"

"Which celebrity?"

"You know, that one. He does, doesn't he?" She asks, blinking as the lights hit her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. He does."

"I don't even know who you're talking about, Kenna," Bash says, chuckling. "But, sure. I guess he does."

Kenna gives him a slow grin. "I feel weird."

"You said that," he tells her.

"Have you taken a look?"

"Yep."

"How do I look inside? Are my guts all over the place or what?" She asks him, eyes wide.

Her doctor laughs. "No, your guts are intact, Kenna."

"The celebrity spoke to me, Bash!"

"Yep," Bash replies, holding in his laughter. "You're doing great. Just a few more minutes."

"Might name the baby _Snow White_," she says.

Bash shakes his head. "God, no. We're not naming our kid after a Disney princess."

"Did you carry the said baby in you?"

"Nope."

"I'm naming them whatever I want, then," she says firmly.

"We already have names, Beautiful. Your father will be gutted if we named our child _Snow White_ and not _Mckenzie_."

Kenna curses. "Yes. Damn it."

"Right, we're almost there," her doctor announces, giving her an assuring glance.

"Okay," she replies happily. "Oh, Bash! Did I tell you about that one time Mary and I threw our high heels over the balcony of some hotel when we were fifteen? We wanted to see whose heels would float better. I won and she lost three hundred quid that day."

"How interesting. What happened to those heels?" Bash asks her.

She grins. "We still wear them. My shoe size hasn't changed from size five and a half in over a decade."

A little while passes and Kenna is taken out of her reverie when she hears a loud wailing and Bash's excited voice speaking to the medical professionals.

"We have a daughter."

"We were right..." She mumbles, her eyes transfixed on her new baby when the doctor lifts her up to show Kenna.

Bash leaves her side for a few minutes before he reappears in her line of sight, holding Perrine.

"She's beautiful, Kenna. I'm so proud of you," he says, placing Perrine by Kenna's face.

"Hi, baby," Kenna croaks out, her tears clogging her throat up. "I'm your mummy..."

Her doctor clears his throat, gaining the couple's attention. "We'll have Baby taken upstairs to be checked over whilst we close you up."

She nods, turning to Bash. "Stay with her. Tell my Mum, let her call everyone. Oh, and update Alex. He'll probably be unfocused with work."

"I love you," he tells her.

"Love you, too," she replies, allowing him to kiss her.

When they're gone, Kenna's eyes feel heavy and she begins mumbling incoherently.

"...She's losing a lot of blood..."

The last thing she remembers before slipping into unconsciousness is the sounds of machines beeping annoyingly all around her.

...

Mary peeks into the hospital room, spotting Bash eyeing the new baby in the crib as his hand is holding Kenna's limp one.

She waves, gaining his attention as she enters, closing the door quietly behind her. "Everyone is awaiting news."

"Oh, I told Joanna," he says, frowning. "I don't think we're ready for any visitors yet."

Mary nods, about to leave, but he stops her.

"You're here now, might as well stay," he tells her, gesturing for her to take a seat.

She smiles, sitting down and turns to Kenna. "How is she?"

"I don't know how to tell her."

"Tell her what?"

"She can't have any more kids," he says quietly, brushing a finger over the baby's cheek. "They had to do an emergency hysterectomy. She did tell me that she felt like something was going to happen."

Mary sighs, wiping Kenna's hair from her face as she slept. "Kenna's always had intuition. I'm sorry."

"It's not me who needs to hear that. We never really talked about having a third child, but I know she wanted one. We both were brought up with many siblings, it was natural for her to want the same for our children," he explains.

Mary turns to him. "What do Francis and I have? A niece or a nephew?"

Bash looks up to face her. "A niece."

"Oh, congratulations!" Mary says happily. "Can I hold her?"

"I'd rather you just look. I want Kenna to hold her first. Technically I and a few midwives were first, but I think it's important for Kenna," he tells her.

Mary agrees. "Of course. I'll be first straight after, right?"

He smiles. "Yeah."

"Francis and I are thinking about having another baby."

"Yeah?"

She nods. "Another girl perhaps. I... I had a miscarriage after Anne so I understand what Kenna went through."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Bash says.

"We didn't let anyone know," she confesses. "It was hard. Not only that, before James, I had my first miscarriage."

"God, I'm sorry-"

She chuckles. "Don't keep apologising. We're good. We have two beautiful kids, what more could we ask for? Anyway, I was really resentful of Lola because she gave Francis a baby and me, his wife, couldn't. But that helped our relationship, I adore them both and even John. I still feel some guilt that he calls _me_ his mother and I see how much it hurts Lola... I was planning on letting John know."

"Have you spoken about that with Francis and Lola?" Bash asks her. "Don't forget, Stephane is in the picture and he even admitted that he wasn't too fond of kids especially after he rarely brought his kids up."

Mary winces. "Yeah. I just don't want Lola to hurt anymore. She's one of my best friends and I've had eight wonderful years raising Johnny. If Stephane doesn't want kids with her, I don't know how she'd feel, watching John with me all the time."

"Speak to Stephane," they hear someone say. "Understand his fears for being a father again."

"Kenna!" Mary breathes out, gripping her free hand tightly. "Hey, pretty!"

"I'm in Heaven because I see an angel in front of me," Kenna jests. "Hi, babe."

Mary kisses her forehead. "Hi, sweetie. You're right about Stephane. I'll see if there's something I can do to help them. For now, I think two people are wanting to say 'hello'."

She strokes Kenna's cheek, giving her a bright smile before getting up and leaving the family to their peace.

"If I didn't know you both, I'd assume you were in a relationship," Bash teases her, kissing her lips. "How are you feeling, Beautiful?"

Kenna groans in pain. "Not so beautiful, Bash. I feel _empty_... Like something's missing... Where's Perrine?"

As if she knows that someone is asking of her, Perrine lets out a wail. She is quickly hushed by Bash before taken to Kenna, being laid across her chest.

"She's so small," Kenna whispers, taking a sharp intake of breath in.

"She weighs only five pounds and three ounces," Bash tells her. "Are you in any pain? Do you need me to call a doctor?"

She nods. "It hurts a bit. I just feel uncomfortable. I really need the loo, too."

He gets up, placing a long kiss on her lips, making her smile. When he pulls away, he checks Perrine before leaving.

"I can't wait for you to meet your brother, Perrine Aveline," she says softly. "He'll teach you how to speak French."

Kenna is transfixed on her daughter. It feels surreal to her. After waiting for so long, she's here and she's _perfect_.

She's everything she expected and more.

Kenna lets out a pain filled groan, trying to look for something to ease the pain. Her efforts are futile and she just lays there, an arm wrapped over the baby against her chest.

She doesn't wait for too long because her doctor appears with a midwife and Bash. Perrine is taken from her and her vitals, blood pressure and temperature are checked.

"How are you doing, Kenna?" Her doctor asks.

She cringes. "Not too good. Feel a bit nauseous. It hurts _a lot_."

He gives her an empathetic nod. "Completely normal. We'll try giving you something to eat as well as some fluids..." He trails off, writing his observations down.

"She's so small," Kenna states randomly, eyeing Perrine.

"Due to your previous complications, it is possible that her weight coincides with them. It's nothing to worry about, your daughter is very healthy," he assures her. He looks up at Bash.

"I haven't told her," Bash tells him. "I don't know how to."

Kenna frowns, looking between them. "Is everything okay?"

Her doctor closes her notes, using a finger to keep the page he was writing on open.

"We ran into some complications during the procedure," he starts. "We were unable to stop the bleeding in your uterus due to your previous complication, the placental abruption."

"Sounds serious," she says quietly, her eyes wide. "But I'm fine right?"

Her doctor nods. "You are. I should inform you that we were unable to salvage your uterus."

"I'm sorry?" She breathes out.

"We had to remove your womb, Kenna. You won't be able to carry any more children. I'm sorry," he tells her.

Kenna blinks at him indifferently. She doesn't even register Bash's hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her in some way.

She purses her lips in thought, turning to look at her newborn then at her doctor. She does this a few times before she looks at her folded hands.

"Okay," she says, her voice breaking as tears sting her eyes.

"Kenna," Bash calls her gently. "It had to be done, you would have died."

_It makes sense_, she thinks to herself. _At least Perrine's perfectly fine_.

"Yeah," she says quietly. "Can I have something for the pain, please?"

It may dull the physical pain, but not the pain of loss in her heart.

"Of course," her doctor says.

After her doctor sorts her out with some painkillers and Perrine is nursing on her chest, reality hits Kenna. Hard.

"If you want to talk to a therapist, I have contact details for one," her doctor informs her. "We'll leave you to get acquainted with Baby."

After he and the midwife leave, Kenna lets Bash wipe her tears away with tissues. He whispers comforting words into her ear and she looks away.

"Mary's here with Lola. Francis is with Adrien and the kids, you don't have to worry about anything," he tells her. "Your mum's also here, she told everyone back in Scotland. You and Perrine have got many gifts."

She doesn't say anything, her eyes lowering down to look at her newborn daughter. The last baby to ever be in her womb. Her nonexistent womb.

"Do you want me to switch with Mary and Lola? They're hoping to-"

"I don't want to see anyone, Bash," she snaps. "I'm not in the mood. I'm tired, I'm aching everywhere..."

Her best friends have seen her at her worst. They've all seen each other at their worsts from giving birth or from when they were kids with broken bones and scrapes. They had the type of friendship that they could dress in front of each other without being insecure.

Right now, Kenna didn't care. She just didn't want them to see her weak.

They've seen her weak many times, but this time was different.

"Can you ask them to leave?"

"Kenna-"

"You know what, I need some time. Can you go, too?" She asks, her voice breaking. "Please?"

Bash nods, kissing her forehead before he leaves her and Perrine alone.

When the door closes, her sobs return and they startle her baby. She apologises, but she doesn't really mean it. It's not like Perrine could tell her that it's okay.

She waits until Perrine finishes before cradling her to her body. She wishes that she hadn't sent Bash out because she can't get up from her bed to put the baby inside the crib.

She's in luck because someone knocks on the door just then and soon her brother asks, "Are you decent?" In his familiar Scottish accent.

"Yeah," she calls out.

He enters, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his niece. He immediately reaches out for Perrine, carries her and holds her against the blue fabric of his scrubs.

"I don't want to see or talk to anyone," she tells her brother, willing him to put Perrine down and leave.

"Why? What happened? Where's Sebastian or even Ma?" Alex asks, alarmed.

She shrugs. "I kicked him out."

"Did you argue?"

"No," she says. "Alex..."

"Yeah?"

Kenna swallows deeply, looking up at him. "I... I can't have any more kids. They did a hysterectomy. They said if they didn't, I would have died and-"

"Hey, it's okay," Alex coos, putting Perrine in the crib and getting into the bed to pull Kenna to his chest.

"I told you," she says, brokenly.

"At least, you're still alive," Alex says firmly. "I'd rather you be unable to have any more children than be dead, little sister."

Kenna's eyes land on Perrine. "Is this my punishment? Did I wrong someone?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Alex, I almost lost my life giving birth to Adrien, the same thing happened today only, I lost more. And the miscarriage, the placental abruption... I obviously wronged someone or God's punishing me. What did I do wrong?" She sobs.

Alex tightens his grip. "Nothing - you did nothing wrong. I can't imagine what you've been through, Kenna. I'm so sorry." He sighs. "Maybe, talking to a therapist will help."

"Not ready," she mumbles against his chest. "Not yet."

"I believe everyone wants to see you, lovely. You can't kick out your baby daddy and mother, Kenna," he teases her, hoping to get a smile out of her.

Kenna does, a small ghost of a smile before she sobers up. "Thank you, Alex. Can you tell Bash that I'm sorry. I just... I needed to think things over, but I think it will be easier with him here with me."

She feels his lips on her head.

"That's the spirit. And if you get through all of your visitors, I'll bring you two dark chocolate bars," he says. "I left the baby's gifts downstairs."

"Or you haven't bought them?" She asks knowingly.

He grins. "Thank God for the hospital gift shop. At least, now I know it's a girl!"

He gets up from the bed, strokes Perrine's cheek before he gives his sister a wink and leaves.

Kenna feels slightly better. Not entirely, but Alex is right. She is needed by her babies. Alive. Breathing. Well.

"Adrien," she mumbles to herself, collecting her phone from the table.

She tries to Skype him, but he doesn't answer. She figures that he's left his tablet at home.

Bash enters, taking a seat beside her. He doesn't reach out for her or anything, he simply waits for her to act first.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to process anything," she tells him, rubbing her face. "Do you..."

"Do I what?" He asks her.

She swallows deeply, shrugging. "Still want me?"

He starts to laugh much to her displeasure. "Kenna, we have two beautiful children and if we can't have more, then that is fine with me. If you still want more children, there are other options we can talk through when the time comes. For now, I'm happy with our family of four and I'm even happier that you're alive."

"Okay," she breathes out. "Is everyone still here?"

"I never asked them to leave. I just told them that you needed some time," he says.

She smiles a little. "You know me well. Can you get Mary and Lola first? My mother will probably stay for hours and they have to get back to the kids at some point."

He sends a quick text to Mary before he helps her look semi-presentable. She's still someone who cares about appearances even though they've seen each other as drunk messes and the like.

"Can you get me something to eat? Something meaty like a burger," she tells him.

He winces a little. "Yeah, okay."

She grins. "What? Is Mr Vegan not too fond of the word _meaty_?"

"No, I'm just thinking about the smell," he replies. "I'm completely fine with the word."

"Good. Now, get my purse out and get something for yourself too," she says. "Oh, and can you stop by the toy store and get Adrien's birthday gift? Get him three gifts from each of us."

"I thought his gift was the gift of being an older brother," Bash says.

She gives him a look. "He's nearly six. Six-year-olds are not too fond of their siblings after nights of them crying loudly and their parents' attention on the new baby. Get him four gifts, actually."

"I can choose them?"

"Nope, I want you to video call me so I can help you choose," she tells him.

"Should I get you the food first?"

She nods. "I think that would be wise. Off you go. You have half an hour because I'm starving."

...

Kenna blushes when her friends fret over her and Perrine. She jumps when Mary starts fixing her hair.

"It's so greasy. You never let it get greasy," Mary says, spraying some dry shampoo and running her fingers through her hair.

"Aren't I lucky to have you girls?" Kenna asks in a teasing tone. She yelps when Lola starts tugging at her feet. "Jesus, Lola!"

Lola looks up. "In the next couple of days, you'll be having more visitors. Your father is driving down from Scotland as we speak. I have to fix your nails."

"Sorry that they're not as they usually are. I could barely see my swollen feet for the past six months," Kenna quips. "And I couldn't fit into any shoes. Did you get me the shoes I wanted?"

Lola takes out a pair of new slippers out of a shopping bag. "Perfect to leave the hospital out in."

"Thank you!" Kenna says happily. "I'm going to be here for _days_. I just hope that I have enough time to plan a party for Adi's birthday."

"I can do that," Lola says, retrieving a file from her handbag. "He's like a typical kid - dinosaurs and cars, right?"

Kenna shakes her head. "Well, yeah. He's into outdoorsy stuff though. Bash is taking him to go and see horses tomorrow."

"You're getting him a horse?" Mary asks, surprised. "Please, don't let Francis know."

Lola nods her head in agreement. "He wants to get the kids their own horses or ponies."

"What's wrong with that?" Kenna frowns. "We used to go horseriding when we were their age. Even younger than Anne."

"Do you remember me falling off my horse and breaking my arm when we were twelve?" Mary retorts. "I want them to wait until they're thirteen at least. It's safer that way."

Kenna laughs loudly. "Okay, I'll ask Adrien to not tell them about his new horse."

"Thank you," the women say.

As Lola excuses herself to use the bathroom, Mary gets into the bed with Kenna.

"Bash told me about the hysterectomy," she says, looking at Perrine. "Kenna, I'm so sorry."

Kenna's face falls and tears spring to her eyes. She says, "It's fine. I'll get through this, everything happens for a reason. I can't even complain, I'm young and healthy. God has saved my life many times, I shouldn't even be here talking to you if not by His grace. And I have a smart, wonderful son and a beautiful, sweet daughter. I honestly can't complain."

Mary's tears fall down her cheeks as she brings Kenna in for a tight hug.

"I wish I had your strength and optimism," Mary whispers. "I look up to you, you know? You're like the big sister I never had. If you were gone, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. When you went to Scotland, I was so down. I had got used to having you around again, us having a glass of wine at midnight and falling asleep watching a movie on each other... You're the best, most perfect, wonderful person I know and a great mother."

Kenna is taken by surprise. She was always wishing that she was Mary or that she was like her. Learning that Mary really loved and cared for her makes her feel guilty for all the times she didn't trust her.

"Mary-"

"What secret are you both sharing without me?" Lola asks, returning.

The women laugh, wiping their tears as Lola takes a seat and takes Kenna's hand.

"All we need is Greer and the mischief will start," Lola says. "You three are my forever Thelmas and Louises."

"Oh, God!" Kenna cries out. "Leave the cheesiness out that door!"

"Thelma and Louise? No, more like Charlie's Angels," Mary quickly says, making Lola giggle and Kenna groan.

"Shut up before I kick you both out," Kenna jests.

Their attention is taken by Perrine who lets out a wail.

"Someone needs attention," Lola says, getting up.

Mary shrugs. "Might turn out to be an attention whore like her mother!"

She squeals, getting off the bed when Kenna reaches out to hit her for her words.

"The cheek!" Kenna mutters.


	18. Chapter 18

The next day, Bash takes Adrien to the nearest stables. He smiles when he sees the boy's eyes light up at every horse they pass by until they reach the owner of the stables.

"Sebastian," he tells the couple. "We spoke on the phone?"

The woman beams, nodding. "Elise and Eric. And this must be the birthday boy!" She replies, bending down to reach Adrien's eyes. "I hear your daddy's getting you a horse. Do you know what colour you'd like?"

Adrien hides behind Bash's legs, making the adults laugh. He peeks at them, shrugging.

"Well, we have a wide range of horses and ponies for you to look at today," Eric says as the couple start to move them into the stables. "Have you rode a horse before?" He asks Bash.

"I've owned a few horses of my own," Bash tells them. "I've been riding horses since I could walk. I've got three in France."

Elise beams in surprise. "It's lovely that your son gets to experience the joy you felt when you were his age. Do you think he'll like to ride one of ours?"

Bash feels a tug on his leg and looks down to see Adrien nodding eagerly.

"He's only been on a horse once. He seems eager to," Bash says, taking Adrien's hand.

"You're in luck," Eric says. "We have a few unnamed horses and ponies that are in need of new owners."

Elise nods, directing them to the far end. "We hope you can find one today..."

...

Kenna sighs in relief when she sits down on the bed. Just walking to the bathroom is painful and very uncomfortable, but her mother cheers her on.

"Six to eight weeks, Mum," she says, frustrated. "How can I give Adrien the attention he needs from me? His birthday is around the corner!"

Joanna rubs her cheek. "Don't force your recovery. Kenna, things will take a while until you feel back to normal. Don't forget, Lachlan was a C-Section, I know how it feels."

"Will the pain stop?" Kenna asks quietly.

"Of course. You're on painkillers and-"

"Not that pain. The mental one. The one in my heart," Kenna cuts her off. "Mum, I've always wanted more than two kids and now, I can't give my children another sibling."

Joanna sighs, sitting beside Kenna. "I know, baby. It will hurt, the pain probably won't ever go. Although it may be less as time goes on. You're blessed, baby girl. Some women can't even have children and you've had two before this happened. Also, you have a really supportive partner in Sebastian so I know you both can get through this together. Just heal and get better - leave the hard work for Sebastian right now."

Perrine lets out a whimper and they both turn to her, smiles on their faces. Well, a small one on Kenna's face.

"She's so precious," Joanna says softly. "I remember when you were that small. She looks just like you, baby."

"Mum... I don't know how to explain it, but I..."

"You what?" Joanna asks. "You can tell me anything."

Kenna falters, looking away from Perrine. "I love her, but I kind of..."

"Kind of what?"

"I resent her," Kenna says, breaking down. "She's the last baby to ever be inside me - she took that away from me, Mum."

"Kenna," Joanna calls her. "Look at me."

When she does, she says, "What, Mum? You're going to tell me that I'm a terrible person for thinking that and I know. I hate myself for resenting my own baby and-"

"It's completely normal," Joanna cuts her off. "I... I had postnatal depression after Lachlan."

Kenna turns to her mother in shock. "I don't remember."

"You were seven, Kenna. The only thing you cared about was whether Mary was coming for dinner or not," her mother replies. "I spent two weeks with my parents and I went to therapy... Afterwards, I was fine and I saw your brother in an entirely new light. I valued him more, he's my only son - no offence, to Alexander and Douglas. They're my sons, but I carried Lockie inside me. There's a special bond between a mother and her child, no one can take that from them. Lachlan... Lachlan is such a blessing and I feel joy whenever I look at him. I remind myself that despite the indifference, in the beginning, he will always be mine and no other woman's son."

Kenna wipes her tears, leaning into her mother's side. "I can't tell Bash. He'll hate me for even thinking about hating our child."

"Maybe, he'll understand. Your father did."

"Dad is the most perfect man in the world, Mum," Kenna says, rolling her eyes. "He doesn't have a hateful bone in his body."

Joanna grins wryly. "True, but that can be his weakness at times. Anyway, tell Sebastian. If he really loves you, he'll understand."

"I can't. I couldn't even admit it to myself. Sometimes, I can't bear looking at her even though I love staring at her. My heart hurts, my whole body hurts... I feel like I'm walking through fire and I can't stop the flames."

"My darling Mckenna, time. Time will fix everything. You've already experienced that considering last year, you and Bash were filing for a divorce and talking about custody battles. Now, you're back together and have two children," her mother tells her. "Time, my love."

"Time?" Kenna croaks out.

"Time."

...

"He's beautiful!" Kenna says to her son, massaging his head as he shows her pictures of his new horse. "What is he called?"

"_Hunter_," Adrien says happily. "Papa's going to show me how to do archery next weekend!"

Kenna smiles at Bash, giving him a wink as he holds Perrine. He looks so natural, she thinks and her thoughts from earlier plague her mind. Her smile disappears and tears sting her eyes.

"That's great, baby boy," Kenna says. "Do you want to hold your sister?"

"No, thank you," Adrien says, eyeing her with slight disdain. "I want to lay here with you."

Bash looks up at him. "Oh, come on Little Man. Your sister wants to meet you properly. And be careful, Mama can't move much because she has stitches."

"Can I see?" Adrien asks, turning to his mother. "Are they really bad?"

Kenna giggles. "Yeah, but the doctor put a lovely bandage on it so you can't. Maybe, when I come home."

"Why did they do that? Cut you open?"

"Mama wouldn't be here if they didn't, sweetheart. It was better to cut me open and get Perrine out."

Adrien turns to Perrine. "She's so small."

"_You're_ so small," Bash retorts making Kenna laugh.

"Both my babies are small," she says, hugging Adrien tightly. "Right, Uncle Francis will be here to pick you up and take you to his. You're sleeping over for the week."

"Yes!" Adrien grins. "Can I take my tablet?"

"Anything you want, baby," Kenna tells him. "Oh, I can't wait to come home and be with you."

Adrien snuggles into her side. "Can't wait for you to come home, Mama."

An hour later after Adrien is gone, Kenna invites Bash to sit by her as she nurses their daughter.

He makes her smile with his sweet words and plans for Perrine's nursery. He even plans to make her old office space at her apartment a room for the kids when they visit him.

It's an arrangement that fits for them.

Her mother will stay for a month and Bash will come five days a week to take over with the overnight care when Joanna leaves for Scotland. After the third month, Kenna will be alone during the nights, but Bash will be there during the days with his workload being nonexistent.

"Bash, don't be mad when I tell you this..." Kenna trails off, stroking Perrine's soft wisps of brown hair.

"Seems to be our new catchphrase," he jests. "Honesty is the best policy, no matter how painful it is to hear."

She nods. "Yes," she says. "Uh, I don't know how I feel about Perrine."

"How do you mean?" He asks her.

"I love her, don't get me wrong," she starts. "But I... I can't look at her without thinking that she's the last baby I'll ever carry in me. I've always wanted a big family, I wanted to carry my children in me - that bond and feeling is so precious and special. Then, I look at Perrine Aveline and I resent her. Not a lot, just a nagging bit."

Bash frowns and watches as her fingers smooth over their child's hair. He opens his mouth to speak a few times, but the words don't come out. He doesn't even know what to say.

"Bash?"

"Maybe, we should call that therapist-"

"What do _you_ think?"

"I think you need help and support to get through what happened to you," he says. "What happened was traumatising and-"

She groans. "Bash, spare me that crap. I want to know what _you_ think about what I've just told you."

"I'm... I'm upset that you see her like that," he confesses. "But I can't be mad because I understand why. We lost a child, Kenna and you never recovered from that. At least, not fully. Now, we were blessed with another child at the expense that we can't have more... Kenna, what you're feeling makes sense."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Don't feel guilty. It's a natural reaction and I do think you need to seek some help. Trust me, it will help."

She smiles, silently thanking him for not judging her. She's so lucky to have someone so understanding like him. At least, she hopes he's understanding because she wavers under his gaze as he watches her feed their daughter.

"I'm here whenever you need me," he tells her. "When you need a break or anything, I've got it."

"You can trust me, I won't hurt my child, Bash."

"I never said that," he says, frowning.

She narrows her eyes. "You were thinking about it. You may be indirectly saying so."

"Kenna-"

"I'm not impulsive, not anymore. I'll never make rash decisions when it comes to my children," she says. "Bash, they're just feelings - my mother went through the same thing. She said that she saw my little brother in a whole new light after therapy. I just need time, okay?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across as untrusting. You've always been their sole caregiver, you love them so I can't fault you," Bash says. "I just don't want you to hurt. I want you to heal and get better. We'll both get through this."

She gives him a grateful smile, finishing feeding Perrine. She looks down at her daughter, wondering about the day she'll finally let go of the resentment and love her fully.

She loves Perrine, but she needs to grieve the things she has lost. Once she does, she can allow herself to be open and a good mother.

"I've asked Lola to plan an outdoorsy party for Adrien. It's going to be in Summer. The weather may be off, but maybe we can have it camping themed? We can also have a petting zoo," she says,

"He's going to be six, do we really need a petting zoo? Can we even get a petting zoo?" He asks her.

She shrugs. "I don't know. Anyway, I'll pass on ideas to Lola. Feel free to give her some."

"I will," he replies. "Kenna, we will get through this."

She looks up at him. "I know. Thanks for being here for me."

"Always."

...

A week later, she's at home.

The minute she steps into her house, she sees endless of gifts, food, flowers and balloons everywhere.

"Sorry for the mess," Bash says, using his foot to slide a gift bag out of the way. "They kept coming and I couldn't deal with them."

She giggles, watching as he places the car seat by the stairs where Perrine is inside, asleep.

"It's fine. I'll go through them," she says, about to bend down to pick one up.

She is stopped by Bash who swoops down to collect it for her. He gives it to her with a disapproving look.

"You can't do things like that," he says.

"Oh, Bash!" She whines. "I've got this."

He picks the car seat up and takes it upstairs before coming back down and picking her into his arms.

"No going up the stairs without any support either," he tells her. "I want you to recover."

He takes her upstairs and places her down before the guest bedroom. Or what used to be the guest bedroom.

"Open the door," he says.

Taking a deep breath, she opens it and gasps. The room is painted a blush blue with a lilac brocade accent wall. The furniture is mahogany and Kenna takes it all in.

She runs her hand over the crib, the changing table, everything. She doesn't know how he could do this in such a short space of time.

She had got the bare essentials, clothes and nappies and the crib, but he got _everything_ else.

She walks over to the accent wall where the crib is against. On the wall is Perrine's full name in silver cursive lettering.

"Bash, it's _gorgeous_," she breathes out, eyeing the car seat. "I think she'd like it better in her new crib."

Bash heads over to the car seat, gently taking Perrine out and helping Kenna put the baby into the crib.

"Thank you, for all of this," she tells him, kissing him. "Oh, I remember Adi's in France... God, all that time has flown by."

"It has," he replies, bringing her into his side as they watch Perrine sleep. "Now, all we have to do is get remarried."

She winces. "Bash."

"Too soon?"

"Way too soon. Especially when I've got a ten-centimetre scar on my stomach... I don't feel too great, Bash. Baby steps, love," she tells him. "Oh, God... Lola finally set a date for the wedding. It's next month. I don't think I'll be able to find a decent dress or lose weight-"

"Kenna, you'll look amazing in anything, regardless of your weight," Bash says.

She sighs. "Thank you. Anyway, I ought to see how she's getting on with Adi's party. His birthday is in two days - Tuesday! Do you think it was wise having it after school?"

"We have to do it then. Just give Adrien all the attention, love and gifts he wants and needs. It's his day. I'm going to take him to the stables on Wednesday after school, too. Maybe, on Saturday and he can come and stay with me at the apartment for the weekend. Is that alright with you?"

She gives him a smile. "Of course, it is. Gives me some time to bond with Perrine Aveline."

"Thank you," he says, kissing the side of her head. "Thank you for giving me, Adrien and Perrine. I will forever be grateful."

She wraps her arms around his waist and brings his head down to kiss him. The kiss becomes deeper and she sighs happily into it.

When they part, she gives him a grin.

"I can't wait until we can make love again," she says into his ear. "I may not be pregnant, but I'm still-"

Her phone rings and she checks the caller ID. Mary.

"Mary, hi!" She says, answering it.

_"Hi, sweetie. I got called into work and Francis is with me. Is there any chance Bash can pick up the kids? I've tried calling him then I remembered that you were discharged today and-"_

Kenna laughs. "He's got it, don't worry. Superdad is on the way to be Superuncle too."

_"Thank you so much!"_ Mary says, sighing in relief. _"I hope you're settling in well. I'll stop by later with some food. Tell your mum to crack open that bottle of red she promised me."_

"I will," Kenna replies, chuckling. "Talk later. Love you."

_"Love you too!"_

She hangs up, turning to Bash. "You have to pick up the kids. Don't worry, my mum will be here shortly. She had to do the weekly shop because you forgot to do so."

"Sorry," he mumbles, kissing her. "I better leave now to get a parking spot. Call me if you need anything."

She gives him one last kiss before he leaves. Looking down, she sighs and stares at Perrine.

"I _do_ love you, Perrine Aveline. Mama will get through this, I promise you."

She rubs a finger against her newborn's cheek, smiling when Perrine twitches in reply.

"You're so beautiful, Princess," she says softly.

She hears the doorbell ring and a smile graces her lips as she goes down the stairs herself. She knows she'll be told off by Bash, but she lets herself live a little.

Kenna opens the door and gasps when she sees who is standing behind it.

"A-Antoine?"

Antoine shifts on his feet. "Hello, Kenna."

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" He asks her. "I'd rather we talk inside."

She lets him in and sees that he notices the gifts as they head into the living room. She doesn't bother to serve him drinks or food, she just waits until he says his piece.

"Congratulations," he tells her. "A girl, right?"

She nods. "Yeah."

"Wow. You've got one of each now," Antoine says. "I'm happy for you."

"T-Thank you," she replies. "What did you want?"

"Is she mine?"

Her eyes widen. "Y-Yours? God, no. I had a paternity test done," she informs him. "She's Bash's, Antoine."

She sees his eyes dull and he plants a polite smile on his face. He takes her in, almost transfixed.

"You still look beautiful," he says.

"Antoine-"

"Kenna, letting you go was a mistake. I'm sure Bash has realised that a few times too. Is there any chance we can..." He trails off, unsure. "Get back together? I don't mind being second best."

Kenna shakes her head. "It's over, Antoine. Bash and I..." She lifts up her hand. "We're back together."

His face falls even more and he looks like a puppy that's been kicked or had its tail stepped on.

"I wish you all the best, then," he says.

"It would never have worked between us, Antoine. We both know that-"

"And what about you and Bash? How long will it take until you split this time? He won't change, a leopard never changes its spots," Antoine snaps at her. "He doesn't love you."

She stands up, enraged. "You need to leave. Now!"

Her phone rings and it alerts her to the baby monitor.

"Leave," she says again, tears stinging her eyes as she winces in pain.

"Kenna, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. He isn't the-"

"The best guy in the world? I know, yet I still choose and love him. We're happy, Antoine, with our children. There is nothing there for you and me anymore."

She heads to the front door, opening it wide for him to go through. As he passes by, he leans into her causing her to lean back and turn her head to the side. He places a long kiss on her cheek, making her falter.

"You know my number. I'll be there whenever you need me and for the kids too," he tells her before finally leaving.

She slams the door, cursing herself for getting up from the sofa too quickly. She could have torn a stitch or something.

Fixing herself, she slowly makes her way upstairs and into the nursery.

"Are you hungry?" Kenna asks softly, bringing her daughter to her chest and sitting down on the armchair in the corner. "Your brother would drink non-stop when he was a baby... He was always a hungry little boy..."

She blinks when Perrine looks up at her in wonder as she nurses. It almost makes Kenna smile at the resemblance between her two children. The crease of wonder or confusion on their tiny foreheads.

"I'm sorry, Perrine Aveline. I'm sorry that I'm... I do love you..."

She sits there, time flying by as she just stares at Perrine. She doesn't know how she feels, watching the baby feed and close her eyes.

That's all she does. Eat, sleep, poo and repeat.

Kenna doesn't know why, but sobs rack her body and it feels like she's holding lava in her arms.

She hears the front door open and soon, Lola's voice calling out for her.

"I left work early to see how you were doing," Lola calls up, heading up the stairs. "Mary is at the door, sorting through some gifts - she managed to leave things to James."

When she enters the room, she gasps and rushes over to Kenna, taking a hand and supporting her in holding Perrine.

"Kenna?"

"Can you put her in the crib, please?"

Lola nods, gently taking the baby from her mother and setting her down inside the crib. She returns to Kenna's side, trying to inspect her for any injuries or opened stitches.

"Do you need paracetamol or ibuprofen?" She asks, brushing Kenna's hair away from her eyes.

Kenna shakes her head, rubbing her face. "Antoine came."

"What did he want?" Lola frowns. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," Kenna whispers. "He thought she was his - I told him that she wasn't, that Bash and I were making things work and... Oh, Lola, there are so many things wrong and I don't know what to do!"

"Kenna, I don't know everything that is going on with you right now, but I do know that whatever they are, you'll get through it. You're so strong, it surprises me at times. I mean, last year you were so unhappy and now, you have a new baby and you're with Bash again. Your family is way stronger than it has been in years, you should be proud - I'm proud of you. If I were in your shoes, I'd given up ages ago."

Kenna hugs her, closing her eyes as she feels Lola's arms wrap around her frame. "I... I can't have more kids, Lola. I'm not saying that to hurt you or anything-"

"It's fine, Kenna. I may not be my son's mother, but I will always be there for him," Lola replies, rubbing Kenna's back. "I'm so sorry about the hysterectomy - Mary told Greer and me. Don't feel guilty though because I feel sad that at least, I can still have kids."

"You're going to be a great mum, Lola," Kenna says into her ear. "I mean, you became a teacher for a reason because you're so good with kids. If you tell Stephane how you feel about things, maybe he'll actually talk things through with you to find a solution."

Lola pulls back. "Mary wants to tell John about me, but... as much as I want him to know, I can't do that to him. James and Anne adore their big brother and I see how much Mary and Francis love him. I spoke to Francis about this when he was born - I never told Mary."

"What did you say back then?"

Lola sighs, shrugging. "At first, I wanted to be known as his mother. I was single, alone and really young. I was scared, Kenna. My parents even offered to help me with him, but I thought about Mary. It wasn't just Francis, John and me in the picture, she was in there too and she wasn't able to get pregnant. She hated me, I knew that. So, I gave up my child to make her happy."

The door opens and Mary walks in, giving Lola a sad smile. "Lola... you're one of my best friends, my _sister_. When either of you hurt, I feel the pain too. I see the way you look at me and John and I just want you to stop hurting."

"I didn't make the decision lightly, Mary," Lola tells her, standing up to face her. "All I knew was that Francis wanted to be John's father and I had to accept that. I mean, Julien ended things with me when he found out because he thought there was something between Francis and me. All that matters is that John is happy. He's happy that you're his mum and he has siblings... Maybe, one day, but that day isn't now."

She brings Mary in for a tight hug, squeezing her as she thanks her for being there for her little boy.

"I know you see him regularly right now, but if you want to see him more or have him stay over at yours, let me know," Mary tells her. "To make things less suspicious, we can just put it down to date nights and Francis and I needing some time alone."

Lola nods. "Yeah, thank you. I think I will tell Stephane about him. I can't keep putting it off."

"Do what makes you happy," Kenna says. "At the end of the day, John will always have you in his corner, loving and supporting him."

"He will," Mary affirms. "Right, if you're done crying, Kenna, _a lot_ of people sent you gifts. We need to sort through them and get dinner ready for the kids."

"I don't think I'm up to doing anything," Kenna tells them. "I think I'll head to bed."

Mary frowns. "You need to reduce the risk of blood clots. I've read up on this and your mother told me stuff in case she's not here. Light activities, Kenna. And you need to stay mobile. All this sitting and lying around won't help!"

"Oh, my God," Kenna mumbles. "I hate you."

"Exercise will make your recovery go well!" Lola adds. "Why don't we see what Mary has in the fridge and cook something? You may not be able to do any cartwheels yet, but you can still stand and walk."

"Fine," Kenna mutters, getting up. "If I slip or hurt myself, I'm blaming you both."

...

Two days later, Kenna finishes icing Adrien's birthday cake. She had wanted to do _something_ for her son's special day so everyone let her do the cake instead of buying one.

It was a two-tier camo cake and Kenna had drawn free-hand horses on the sides. She has always been a creative spirit, be able to create dresses and draw things.

"I've got to go pick up my mother from the airport," Bash tells her, kissing her cheek. "I'll be back. Maybe, I'll have time to pick the kids up from school with her."

"Okay, drive safely," she replies, continuing to sort the cake out. She hears him leave and lets out a soft sigh.

She's been feeling off. Some days were good, the others were bad. Her mother was a blessing, supporting her during the day and even cooking and helping with Adrien's birthday.

She tries to put on a positive attitude for Adrien, but that failed when she snapped at him for not eating his breakfast that morning. She immediately felt guilty, it was his birthday for God's sake. Also, it wasn't like he was doing anything bad.

"Are you okay?" Greer asks her, checking on the babies that sleep in baby rockers on the floor.

"Yeah," Kenna replies, placing the cake onto its stand. "Can you put this in the fridge?"

Greer lifts the cake and places it into the empty space in the fridge before returning to Kenna's side.

"Do you need anything?"

"I'm good," Kenna says, eyeing Perrine. "Do you think Lola and Stephane need help?"

They both turn in the direction of the garden where the couple is struggling to set up the trampoline and other outdoor activities.

"Nah," Greer replies, grinning. "I'm sure a strong man with a butterfly tattoo like Stephane can handle a trampoline."

Kenna smiles a little. "Bash got a tattoo."

"Oh, really?" Greer asks, intrigued. "Has he found yours?"

Kenna's eyes widen. "No."

"Really? You've had it since you were eighteen, how on Earth has he not noticed it?"

"I rarely have my hair up. When I do, I cover my ears," Kenna explains. "God, it will be so awkward to explain to him how I have the letter 'B' behind my ear with no context."

"Add a 'K' to it and it will make sense," Greer tells her.

Kenna shakes her head. "Then, he'll ask why I have my initials imprinted on my skin. I got it when we were drunk and stupid. Mary even got 'F' imprinted on her bikini line-"

"Really?" They hear.

They turn and see Stephane grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip from it.

"Uh, you didn't hear that," Greer tells him, crossing her arms. "This is a private conversation, Mr Narcisse. I'd help your fiancée if I were you."

He grins, sending them a coy wink before leaving and joining Lola by the BBQ grill.

"Anyway," Greer says. "Is it a butterfly, like his?" She asks, nudging her head in the direction of Stephane.

"What is?" Kenna asks.

"Bash's tattoo!"

Kenna laughs. "It's my name. Across his heart, it's the cheesiest shit I've ever seen."

Greer moans. "That is cheesy," she replies. "It's nice to see you smiling. You've been a grump all day so far."

Kenna scowls. "Don't say that."

"Bash told us you nearly lost it with Adrien this morning, Kenna," Greer tells her. "I know you're struggling, but it's unfair on Adrien."

"I can't help how I feel," Kenna snaps. "I can't control it, it's not like I want to hate my own child."

Greer flinches, leaning against the counter. "I know. Have you spoken to a mental health professional, yet?"

"Greer..."

"I'm not saying that as a doctor, Kenna. I'm saying that as your friend. I care about you, Kens," she says before pausing. "You know what, I'll cut the bullshit. I _am_ saying that as a doctor. I've observed you, Kenna - you need help."

Greer is met with a glare as Kenna starts to walk out of the kitchen. The blonde is quick though and grabs her arm.

"Kenna, what you're going through is so horrible. I can't even imagine the pain you feel. I know it sounds horrible of me to ask you to put that aside and make sure that Adrien enjoys his birthday today, but can you do that for him?" Greer asks her. "Can you do anything to make him smile, even if just for today?"

Kenna pulls her arm from Greer's grip and leaves the room.

She heads upstairs, goes into her room and slams the door behind her.

She is _not_ a terrible mother. Is she?

She gets into her bed and rubs her face angrily. She is sick and tired and they keep annoying her, hovering over her, watching her every move.

Closing her eyes, Kenna falls into a nap.

A few hours later, she wakes up to the sound of squeals and laughter from children.

Kenna gets out of bed, heading to the window to see Adrien, his school friends and cousins run about and playing.

"He's having a great time," she hears Bash say from behind her.

Turning around, she reaches out for Perrine once she realises that she needs to be fed.

"I didn't want to disturb you. Greer said you weren't feeling well," he says, watching her start to pull her shirt down.

"I'm not feeling myself, Bash," she mumbles, sitting down on the bed as Perrine feeds. "I didn't mean to ruin Adi's day."

Bash frowns. "Who says it's ruined?" He asks her. "He's having a great time. Stephane made them all burgers and hot dogs, the weather's great and Francis is getting the karaoke machine ready. But it would be nice if the birthday boy's mum was there to watch him."

Kenna turns away, sighing heavily. "I'm not in the mood for celebrating, Bash."

"Not even your son's birthday? Kenna, come on!" He cries out in frustration. "Plant a fake smile on your face, I don't care - just be there for him. He wants to introduce you to his new friends. Kenna, he's made friends here! He's really popular at school, despite his height, and he's really happy."

"He doesn't need me to dampen his happiness," Kenna says quietly. "When I'm done feeding Perrine, can you take her back downstairs or to her room? I just want to be alone."

Bash nods, leaving and heads downstairs. He goes straight to his mother who is speaking with Joanna.

"Any luck?" Joanna asks him.

"No. She's not budging at all," he replies, giving Adrien a smile when he looks his way.

Diane clicks her tongue, shaking her head in annoyance. "Let me try."

"Don't upset her more than she already is, Mother," Bash says. "Just leave it, it's fine."

"It's not," Joanna tells him. "You need to consider calling someone. The sooner we nip it in the bud, the sooner she'll get better."

"This isn't something she can easily get over," Bash replies. "She's not ready for that. If she was, she would have called for help herself or asked someone to."

Diane places her drink down, saying, "When something like this happens, it's not easy for women. We may be resilient, but even then we're still doing our best to hold things together even though we're crumbling apart. If you'd excuse me."

She goes upstairs and lets herself into Kenna's room. Sitting beside the younger woman, she brings her to rest her head on her shoulder.

"Hello, Kenna," she greets her. "Did you rest well?"

Kenna nods. "Yeah."

"Okay, then I can say what I want," Diane says firmly. "Once she's fed, go to the bathroom, fix yourself and get dressed in a pretty little number. The weather's great, come and enjoy it! We're going to cut the cake soon too."

"No, thank you," Kenna replies. "I'll make it up to Adi tomorrow."

Diane raises an eyebrow. "Kenna, do you remember when I told you about the baby I lost?"

Kenna turns to her. "Yeah, why?"

"I felt like my world was ending after that. I didn't know what was down the line for me, I was depressed for a long while. Louis didn't help matters... To get to the point, you have a beautiful little girl in your arms right now. You're feeding her, you're tending to her every want and need... I don't have that with my son that I lost."

"I'm so sorry," Kenna replies.

Diane smiles softly. "It's fine. I've had a long time to deal with that. Anyway, this hysterectomy isn't the end of the world. I had one."

"You did?" Kenna asks with a gasp. "When?"

"After I had Bash. It was a difficult decision, I didn't want to go through the pain I felt after losing my first son again. You can imagine my relief after I began relations with Henry," Diane replies. "You may feel like utter shit right now, but don't forget that you are surrounded by people who love you and want to help you. Most of all, you are blessed with a son and a daughter and if you want more children, adoption or surrogacy can be considered."

Kenna gives her a little smile. "I really do want to celebrate Adrien's birthday."

"But?"

"I'm afraid I'll burst into tears and yell at him again," Kenna whispers. "He is already hurt by me, I don't want to add to the pain."

Diane rolls her eyes. "He's already moved on from this morning. He keeps asking of you."

"He is?"

"Of course, he is! He wants his maman and papa there for him."

Kenna finally gives her a nod. "When I'm done feeding Perrine, I'll be right down."

She keeps to her promise, getting dressed into something nicer. It's a loose, green, silky dress and she feels better about her body than she has been in ages. Pursing her lips in thought, she slips on some ankle socks and a pair of brown heeled boots.

"Uh, who is this princess because I think she's replaced my best friend?" Mary says from behind her.

Turning around, Kenna scowls. "I've always been a princess," she says making Mary laugh.

"I'm the one with royal ancestry," Mary replies. "Anyway, you look amazing!"

"Thanks," Kenna says, blushing. "Can you help me with Perrine? She's not falling asleep and I'd rather not trip down the stairs with her in my arms and these heels on."

Mary complies and the two of them go downstairs with Perrine in Mary's arms. When they get to the bottom of the stairs, they notice that the baby is fast asleep.

"Guess being in your arms made her fall asleep. You are boring," Kenna quips, receiving a hit on her arm. "Thank you, Mary. For just being here."

"Any time, Kenna," Mary says. "You're my sister. If not by blood, but by name and I'll always be there for you. Now, I think I hear them getting the cake out. As the baker, you need to oversee your masterpiece being enjoyed by everyone."

Kenna plants a bright smile onto her face, taking a deep breath in and releasing it. She turns and heads into the kitchen, greeting parents of the kids who are Adrien's friends. She also gives thanks to them for their congratulations over her newborn.

"I've been feeling unwell," she explains to some of the mothers. "I'm feeling better after a lot of rest, though."

"C-Sections are hard," one of the mothers agree. "But you look fantastic. How are you able to get back to your figure already?"

Kenna waves her off. "I know you're buttering me up," she says lightly. "I'm surprised this old thing fits me."

After she greets and speaks with other parents, she heads outside. She's well aware of her friends and family watching her as she goes over to the trampoline, beckoning Adrien to her.

Adrien pauses, eyeing his mother cautiously as he stops bouncing and goes to her. He jumps off the trampoline and hugs her legs.

"Hi, Mama."

"Hi, sweetie," she says, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, I've been really silly today and I shouldn't have been upset with you before you went to school."

"Papa says I have to be a good boy around you. That I shouldn't upset you," he tells her.

She sighs. "Papa shouldn't have said that because we both know how much of a good boy you are! And you don't upset me, never think so," she replies. "I've just been really unwell."

"Are you feeling better?"

Kenna wishes she could carry him into her arms and hug him tightly, but she can't for two reasons. One, her scar and two, her baby boy would be embarrassed in front of his friends and cousins. Not that he was a baby anymore.

"Yes because I'm talking to you," she says immediately. "Come on, round up your friends because we're cutting the cake. I made it, did you know that?"

Adrien nods excitedly. "Aunt Mary told me. It has horses on it, right?"

Kenna giggles. "Yes, it does! Come on, then."

A short while after, Kenna is filming Adrien blowing his candles with his cousins' help and she and Bash stand behind him as everyone claps.

When her son looks up at her, her heart swells with pride and joy and the pain dulls for a short while.

"I love you, Adrien," she says.

"I love you, too, Mama," he replies happily. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby."

After everyone has left and Adrien is in bed, being read a story by Joanna, Kenna finishes feeding Perrine and heads to bed.

She hears Bash clean up downstairs. Most of it was done by their friends and family, but he had to drop his mother at the airport and it was getting late.

She allowed Adrien to stay up for an hour after his bedtime. Alex had said he'd stop by after his shift to drop off a few presents.

As tired as she is, she gets out of bed and answers the door when she hears a car approaching the house.

"Hi," she says, grinning when Alexander gets out of his car with Archie.

"Not stopping for long, have to drop her off home - her car is being repaired," he tells her, kissing her cheek. "How have you been?"

She cringes. "That's a story for one of your night shift breaks," she replies, leading them inside.

They go into the kitchen, Kenna placing the presents on the counter.

"Bash, look who is here," she tells him.

He stops washing the dishes, greeting Alexander with a handshake. "Hi, I was going to go in a bit."

Archie frowns. "Oh, I thought you lived here."

"We're together, but we live separately," Kenna explains to her. "It's a decision we made a while ago."

"Ah," Archie says, nodding. "Well, I helped Alexander choose some gifts. He has no idea and I pity the woman he'll marry and have kids with."

Alex chokes, waving her off. "Who says I'll get married and have kids?"

"He's upstairs," Bash cuts in. "Your mother is reading him to bed. You might just catch him before he nods off."

Alex thanks them, heading upstairs as Kenna offers Archie some cake and something to drink.

"How have you been?" Archie asks her. "Alexander told me you had a girl?"

They nod, sharing a smile. "Perrine," they both say.

"That's so sweet," Archie replies.

Kenna gives her a smile. "Thanks. Would you like to see her? I bet Alex will go straight to her room to disturb her. He can't get enough of her."

"Go on then," Archie says, playfully rolling her eyes. "He'll be a great dad one day."

"Yeah," Kenna replies knowingly. "What do you think of that?"

"How do you mean?"

Kenna shrugs nonchalantly. "Alex meeting someone and having kids with her."

Archie narrows her eyes suspiciously. "I'll be fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Why wouldn't you be?" Kenna retorts. "Well, let's head upstairs, shall we?"

Baffled, Archie follows her upstairs.

When they enter Perrine's room and see Alexander holding the baby in his arms as he reads her a bedtime story, Kenna smirks to herself. She sees Archie's eyes widen in shock as if she's seeing him in a new light.

"Someone's Auntie Archie wants to meet her," Kenna says to her brother, gaining his attention.

He looks up and gives them a smile. "Adrien was down before I could say 'hi'. Ma's asleep right beside him."

"I'll let you both acquaint yourselves with her," Kenna tells them, heading back downstairs.

She sees that Bash has finished clearing up the kitchen and doing the dishes.

"I'm going, now," he says, getting his coat. "Call if you-"

"Stay," Kenna whispers, stepping towards him. "I... I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone," he replies, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Your mum is here for you."

She shakes her head. "I need you."

"Kenna, you need time and as much as I want and need you, I can't be the one to make things worse. We decided on living apart for a reason," he tells her. "I'll help you sleep, but after that, I'm going."

"It's Adrien's birthday," she says, pressing her face into his chest.

"It won't be when we wake up tomorrow morning," he teases her. "Come on, I'll even get you dark chocolate."

She doesn't move, but he hears quiet sobs escape her lips. She pulls him tighter to her frame.

"Kenna..."

"I hate how I'm feeling right now. I don't mean to push everyone away... I'll see someone, just don't leave me, Bash."

"Of course, I won't leave you, Kenna!" Bash tells her, kissing her. "Don't be silly. I'll never leave you. You'll get through this."

She sniffles. "Promise?"

"I promise."


	19. Chapter 19

**Before I start this chapter, I'm glad that you guys are responding well to Kenna's depression after giving birth.**

**Quick thing, although it may seem so, I am not an expert on this. I have seen it first hand though when I was slightly older than Adrien's age with my mother when she had her first C-Section giving birth to my little sister (which was her last ever pregnancy after having vaginal births with my brother and me). Back then, I never understood why she wasn't her usual happy self and it was quite difficult for my dad to explain to me and my older brother what was going on. Until I became an adult and asked my mother what happened back then as I was so confused as memories like that stick with you.**

**My parents had kept that my mother died on the table from us and that really shook me and even though it was over a decade ago, that brought the pain and slight grief that "what could have happened if I didn't have my mum? My mum is my best friend!" Thank God, she's alive and perfectly okay as well. My little sister also had a few critical moments during her birth too so that day, I could have lost my mother and new baby sister. Many, many, many years later, we're a happy family of five, but it does make me think what could have happened. I hate thinking that, but my mum assures me that we would have got on fine. This is a sensitive topic, I'm sorry for not disclosing that because I never planned to do this topic but after having that talk with my mother, I decided to go along with it. I'm sorry if it triggers anyone, but I believe writing about this will help me let go of that pain and move on because I still have my mum and now, the blessing in our lives called my sister. She's so healthy and sporty and happy and _tall_, it surprises me that once she was barely the size of a water bottle, fighting for her life.**

**Also, it's very normal to experience post-natal depression after any sort of birth so in your own time, talk to someone. My mother did (as well as Kenna's mum, Joanna in the story) and she is wonderful. I mean, we barely even talk about back then because you look into the future and heal together.**

**To cut this short, thanks for the wonderful feedback, I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

**Warning: Strong depression, strong words and if this triggers anyone, I sincerely apologise.**

* * *

_Cold_, Kenna thinks as she leans against the porcelain bathtub.

She shivers, bringing her knees up to her chest as she lifts her phone up to her eyesight in the darkness.

Kenna hasn't spoken to him in days. Even though he promised not to leave her, she found her bed empty the next morning. Since then, she avoided his calls and disregarded his texts. She even avoided him when he came to bring Adrien home after their day out.

She's tolerant of Adrien, but as he expresses excitement to hold and help her with Perrine, she pushes him away and refuses to let him touch her.

No one can touch her baby except her and she's afraid that something bad will happen to her despite her indifference.

3 AM, her phone reads in white letters.

Her thumb hovers over a name and she presses it, selecting 'call'.

Soon, a tired voice answers her.

"Kenna?" Lola asks. "What's wrong?"

Kenna pauses before saying, "Shit. I'm sorry for calling so late. I... Nevermind, go back to sleep."

"No, I'm off from work anyway to sort some stuff out for the wedding. What's wrong?" Lola says, yawning.

"I don't know," Kenna replies, shrugging. "I... I just needed to talk."

"Let me get out of bed," she hears Lola say before a lot of movement is heard over the phone. "Right, what did you want to talk about?"

Kenna cringes a bit. "I'm so sorry, You must think I'm mad for calling so late... To be honest, I don't know what I wanted to talk about now. I'm so sorry, I'm so stupid-"

"Kenna, hey... Shh, it's alright," Lola replies, hearing her friend's sobs over the phone. "I don't mind, you're good. Why don't we talk about my wedding to get your mind off things?"

Kenna sniffles. "Okay... Do you have a planner or were you and Stephane planning it yourselves?"

"We did want a planner, but she's out of action," Lola says, hoping Kenna catches on. "We don't want to stress her out right now."

"I don't mind. It will take my mind off things," Kenna says softly. "I used to do this for a living. Do you know, I still get requests and offers?"

Lola smiles. "That's great. Honestly, it's fine. The only things I want you to do is to come to my dress fitting next week, celebrate my last hours as an unmarried woman, and attend my wedding as my bridesmaid."

"I'd love to do all those things... Hopefully, I won't be as sensitive about things then," Kenna replies, curling up into a ball on the floor, her phone still on her ear.

"Have you spoken to someone, yet?" Lola asks carefully. "Might help you."

Kenna closes her eyes. "I... I _can't_."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"They won't understand," Kenna says. "They'll think I'm crazy, they might take them away from me."

Lola lets out a noise of disapproval. "Kenna, no! This is normal, Kenna. No one will take Adrien or Perrine away from you just because you're upset."

"I'm scared," Kenna whispers, tears spilling from her eyes. "What if Bash leaves me again and takes them away from me? I... I've not been the best mother or partner, I know, but I love them. I can't lose them."

"You won't lose them, I can strongly assure you of that. As for Bash, he worships the ground you walk on and if you do separate again, he won't _ever_ consider taking them away from you. He loves you too much to hurt you like that," Lola tells her. "Look, why don't you get some rest and I'll try and stop by this afternoon?"

"No, don't bother. I've taken too much of your time already," Kenna replies. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Lola croaks out. "Go to bed, I'll stop by. I love you, Kenna. We all love you and when you're ready to talk, we'll be there."

Kenna doesn't bother replying as she hangs up and just continues to lay down on the cold, tiled floor.

She tries to keep them in, but her sobs escape her lips and she feels alone. She runs a finger over the scar just below her bikini line. She used to pride herself over her figure, holidays filled with sexy two-piece swimsuits and attractive, flimsy lingerie.

Now, it's a horrible reminder of what she has lost and will never get back. She hates it, she hates that Bash tells her she is still beautiful and goddamn sexy despite the bloody scar.

She tries to pray, but nothing comes to mind and she breaks down into sobs again.

Eventually, her tears subside and she falls asleep on the ground.

...

Staring at the phone in surprise, Lola sighs. She finishes her glass of water, wipes her tears and heads back upstairs into bed.

She flinches when she feels Stephane's arms wrap around her waist and all she wants to do is drive over to Kenna's and be there for her.

"What's wrong, love?"

Lola turns in his arms, facing him. "I'm worried about Kenna. She's in a really bad state and we can't force her to talk to someone."

"It's been what? Almost two weeks since she had the baby, she won't be fixed straight away," he replies, brushing a finger over her cheek in which she leans into his hand. "You women are so strong, I can't imagine what it must feel like to be her. If you're that worried, why don't you go and see her now?"

"She doesn't want me to and it's past three in the morning..." Lola replies sadly. "I don't want to intrude."

He sighs. "I think you should go if you're really worried about her."

"I'll visit her this afternoon. I was going to text Bash, but he's probably dealing with this ten times more than the rest of us are. I'll give him a bell at nine," she says. "Why don't you want any more kids, Stephane?"

"It's not a matter of why I don't want any more kids, it's the matter of what I'll do for them," he replies. "Eduard and Luc have grown up without my help. My parents were heavily involved in raising them after their respective mothers died. I don't want history to repeat itself. I loved my former wives, their deaths hit me hard and the further apart I grew from my sons. I was young - seventeen when I had Eduard and twenty when I had Luc. They're men now and they resent me, I know they do whenever we spend time with each other. I can't have that again. I can handle two of my children hating me, not three."

Lola nods sadly. "I want children though, Stephane. I adore them so much and I've grown up in a big family. I want children and if you... If you can't give that to me, I need to know now so I know where we stand."

"Lola, if you promise to never leave me, I'll consider it."

"I don't want you to consider. I want a 'yes' or a 'no'," she tells him.

He kisses her head. "Yes. Do you promise to stay by my side?"

"Yes, always!" She breathes out, kissing him. "Thank you. When we have children, be it one or two or more... they'll love you so much. As for Eddie and Luc, don't force things. I know Eduard is more stubborn and Luc is more accepting, but time will fix things. It won't erase your absence in their childhood, but one day, they'll be parents themselves and they might want you to be in their kids' lives. How about we have a lovely family dinner? I'll invite them both and Eddie's wife... We can tell them about our news."

"Yeah. What did I do to deserve you?"

"I should be asking that," Lola says, kissing him. "You're amazing. I know how we got together wasn't the _best_ way, but I can't imagine being without you."

He grins. "Neither can I, love."

"Let's sleep. You're going to see Francis in the morning. Why do you need to do that anyway?"

He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. Just bachelor party stuff."

She smiles, turning so her back lies flushed against his chest. She could tell that there was something, but she didn't bring it up. As long as he was becoming friends with her friends, she was fine.

...

When Kenna wakes up, she is in her bed. As she moves to get out, an arm gently wraps around her waist and pulls her back into the bed.

"Why were you on the floor?" Bash asks her.

"I don't know," she replies, leaning into his chest.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"You left," she snaps. "You promised me you wouldn't leave and you did!"

She hears him sigh from behind her and she wants to scream at him. She wants to leave the bed, but neither her voice or body allows her to do so.

"I had to take Adrien and the kids to school," he eventually explains. "Then after, I had to help Francis with something before I picked the kids up. I dropped John, James and Anne at home and took Adrien to the stables. As for yesterday... I was looking for a job."

She turns to face him. "A job?"

"More like a hobby. With Francis taking over our family business, I have nothing to do. All I do is be there for you and Adi or sit around all day doing nothing. I have all the money in the world, yet I'm so bored."

She scolds herself for being so needy, clingy and rude. Of course, he'd need something to fill the void his job had.

"I'm sorry. I'm doing everything wrong. I'm so stupid, I didn't even think about you," she says, cupping his cheek. "I'm a mess. I... I don't want to be."

"I know, Kenna. It's fine, you're important," he replies.

She rolls her eyes. "I've made this all about me again," she says. "No wonder you didn't like me."

"God, Kenna. Don't be stupid," Bash tells her, letting go of her. "What matters now is that you get better. I'll keep repeating that."

"Okay," she says quietly. "Why don't you find something to do at the stables? Or why doesn't Francis make you the COO or CFO?"

"Catherine and Charles hold those positions," Bash says to her. "I can be a Director, but what's the point because I'm already a shareholder? Most of my adulthood, I've worked for my father. I'd rather not be brought back to that. I want to move on and do my own thing."

Kenna accepts his answer. "I hope you find something."

"Enough about me," he replies, shuffling closer to her. "How are you feeling today?"

She shrugs. "I don't know."

"Why don't we eat out? Get some fresh air with Perrine, we can walk there."

"I don't know," she repeats, sitting up. "I don't want to leave the house."

"Please, for me?"

She turns to him, giving him a nod. "Can I get ready first?"

As soon as she steps outside, she immediately wants to go back inside and get in bed.

It smells like freshly cut grass and she feels sick, cringing at the smell.

"No, I can't," she says, gagging. "I hate the smell of cut grass, Bash. What if she breathes that in?"

Bash raises an amused eyebrow. "She's fine. So are you, come on."

She rolls her eyes, following him as they start to walk down the pavement. She lets him push the buggy, deciding to wrap her arms around her middle.

She feels like everyone can see her scars, the physical and mental ones and she keeps her gaze down on the ground.

"Why didn't we take the car?" She asks Bash.

"The fresh air is good for you both," he replies easily. "You used to be so outdoorsy, Kenna. One of the things I love about you."

Kenna smiles a little. "God, I used to be such a gym rat," she replies, speaking of the time before she was a married mother. "I used to walk all over Tower Bridge and all. I'd even jog over the Thames."

"You got lazy," he teases her.

She pulls a face. "I became a trophy wife," she retorts, sighing. "A perfect, little housewife."

"Kenna..." Bash says warningly. "We're having a nice walk."

"I know," she replies. "I'm not starting anything. Just stating facts."

He stays silent after that and she's grateful. She'd rather have this stupid walk in silence than have conversations about how she _used to_ be.

After a while of walking silence, Perrine's whimpers now and then and Kenna's feet starting to hurt, she gives Bash a remorseful look.

"Bash, I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I... I can't help it. I'm a selfish, petty, disgusting, ugly bitch and-"

In a flash, he has his arms wrapped around her and her head lies against his chest in relief. She inhales his Armani perfume, wanting to be closer to him in every way, but she can't. Not now.

"Don't say that about yourself, _ever_," he says into her hair. "You're not disgusting. Even with blood and shit all over you, I find you the most beautiful person in the world. That scar doesn't define who you are, it tells a story. You've never judged me for my scars, why would I judge you for yours?"

"Bash... I don't want to feel this way. I just can't _deal_ with this. How can I love myself when every time I have a child, I almost die and lose myself? It's a sign. I'm a horrible person and I'm paying for my sins."

"You're not a horrible person, you're the most selfless person I know. If anyone's ugly and disgusting, it's me. I mean, you're a solid one million out of ten and I'm barely a four."

She giggles. "Oh my, God," she breathes out. "The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most handsome person I'd ever seen. Like a Greek god or something."

"You flatter me," he says.

"No, it's true!" She tells him. "I had you saved as _Mr Gorgeous_ for the longest of time and it's so embarrassing... I even got a-" She stops herself.

"What?"

Blushing, she shifts her hair from her ear, revealing her tattoo. "I got this when I was eighteen and drunk. I couldn't stop thinking about you, it's stalkerish, I know."

"No, it's great," he says, kissing the spot where her tattoo lies. "We're matching, now. How on God's Earth did you hide this for a decade?"

"Lord knows," she says, smiling a little.

"I love that I can still make you smile," he says into her ear, making her shiver. "How I can make you shiver with one slight whisper or touch... God, I love you."

She pulls back, looking at him. "Can you call the therapist for me?"

"You're ready?"

"I want to be happy. I want to be my usual spirited self... The sooner, the better. I don't want to feel like this, I don't want to hurt my son, I don't want to hate my daughter. I'm becoming the thing I hate and it hurts so much," she tells him. "Help me."

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he says, "I'll always help you. I've got you."

"Thank you," she replies, her voice breaking as tears spring to her eyes. "I love you, too."

...

Four times a week, she sees someone. She talks through her emotions, she talks through her personality. The therapist picks her apart and she feels scared but intrigued at the same time.

By July, she's feeling slightly better. Not a whole lot as times she feels like she's getting worse, but at least she is bonding with Perrine and allowing Adrien to spend time with them both.

Standing in front of the wall-length mirror, she stares intently at the baby pink dress, hoping nobody notices the stubborn baby weight she has left.

"Oh, God," she hears Lola say. "My bridesmaid looks better than me."

"Don't be silly!" Kenna replies, turning to face her as she attaches her Swarvoski headpiece around her brown locks. "You're beautiful! I'm just hoping nobody's notices the baby weight."

Lola gives her a bright smile. "What baby weight?"

"You and Bash are the world's greatest bullshitters if you're going with that line. I can see it!"

"More like, feel it," Lola replies easily. "I can't see anything. Ask Eduard, he didn't know you recently had a baby."

Kenna blushes. "It's fine. Are you sure?"

"Is she asking about the baby weight again?" Mary whines, entering the room to fix her hair a bit. "Kenna, you look fine."

"Thank you," Kenna mumbles. "Where's Greer?"

"When you have eight kids, you need to keep them in check somehow," Mary replies. "David's nappy needed a change."

"I'm hoping she doesn't smell like baby poo," Lola says worriedly. "I can't walk down the aisle with my Matron of Honour smelling like shit."

Kenna snorts, eyeing Mary. "Someone had a baby pooing inside of her at my wedding."

"I'll let James know your thoughts about his bowel movements," Mary quips. "That sounds disgusting but totally true. I regret asking how unborn babies did their excretions."

Greer enters the room, looking flushed. "Can we stop talking about shit? Yes, I said shit because David went and stained his whole suit and now I feel like shit having my baby looking like a tiger at my best friend's wedding."

"A tiger?" Lola asks her, eyes wide.

"It was the only outfit I could find," Greer says sadly. "It was his naptime outfit. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's too late to go and get a suit for him. Right, are we all ready? My dad's coming in a few minutes."

Kenna quickly heads over to her clutch, collecting a small box and hands it over to Lola.

"Something borrowed," she tells her friend. "I hope you like it."

Lola opens the box in surprise, her eyes widening at the sight of Kenna's charm bracelet.

"Kenna, I can't. Bash got this for you."

"It's just for today. You'll give it to me before Stephane whisks you off to your honeymoon to make a baby!" Kenna tells her. "You've been a great support system, all of you have."

She takes their hands, tears springing to all of their eyes. She can't believe that Lola's getting married.

"Look at us," Kenna continues. "A married mother of three, a wonderful soon-to-be married teacher and a married mother of _eight_ who is also a doctor! All of you have supported me and my issues and I couldn't have asked for better friends-no _sisters_ like you."

"God, don't make me cry. I didn't put on waterproof mascara, you bitch," Lola says, fanning her face.

Kenna laughs. "Shall I save this for later?"

"No, might as well get it over with," Lola replies, squeezing her hand.

Nodding, Kenna continues with, "You all inspire me to do better. Even Aylee up there..." They look up. "Who would have thought? Fifteen years ago, we had no idea where we'd end up. Who we would be with, who we would be... We'll all be twenty-nine soon and that's closer to thirty and we have so much to show for it."

"Don't remind me," Greer mumbles. "Eight kids and not even thirty? Kill me now," she jests.

Kenna giggles at her words. "Anyway... Bash and I were always going to have Perrine Aveline christened. With the depression, I didn't even want to think about that... Anyway, we decided that she'll have _three_ godmothers. Would you do us the honour of being our daughter's godmothers? Even Aylee in spirit?"

Mary is the first to hug Kenna tightly, nodding eagerly. "God, yes! Always, Kenna."

"That's the best wedding present anyone could have. Thank you, Kenna, and of course, I accept," Lola replies.

Greer shares a knowing look with Kenna. "Do you even have to ask, Kens?"

"Right, let's fix ourselves again and get out of here before we're late," Mary says once they all share tight hugs.

Kenna stands proudly, watching as Lola and Stephane say their vows. She has never been prouder of her friend and confidante, and she is excited for all the joy Lola has to come.

After the ceremony is finished and the couple runs down the aisle with flower petals showered on them, Kenna's eyes meet Bash's and she gives him a meek smile.

She heads to him as Mary and Greer also meet their husbands.

"Mrs Narcisse," Kenna says in an overly French accent. "Can you get any more French than that?"

Bash gives her a look. "Uh, Poitiers, Valois, Br-"

"I get it, Mr I-have-billions-in-the-bank."

He gives her a grin, kissing the side of her head as they follow everyone outside for photos.

"How are you feeling?" Bash asks. He knows it annoys her, but he has to ask. She is supposed to talk about her feelings.

Kenna's eyes land on their children. Adrien plays chase with his cousins as Lola's sister holds Perrine in her arms, trying to keep the children in check.

"I'm feeling okay. Not too bad, not too good. Just in the middle," she replies. "I asked them to be Perrine Aveline's godmothers, by the way. They said 'yes'."

"Great," he says, smiling. "I asked Francis, Aloysius and Stephane..."

"What did they say?"

"Francis started crying, the wimp. Aloysius was so touched, he had tears too. Stephane was the only one to hold it together. Until he said his vows. Am I the only manly one in our group?"

She snorts, smacking his chest. "Do you want me to tell them that you've sobbed like a baby so many times?"

"Don't you dare," he warns her. "I'll write a whole book about you crying."

"I'll write a book and three sequels."

"I'll turn it into a movie."

"I'll turn it into a movie, musical _and_ theatrical play," she replies easily. "I'm Scottish, I can do this all day."

He looks down at her. "I'm French, I can do this all day, too."

She playfully narrows her eyes at him, leaning up to kiss him. Her lips hover over his teasingly before she pulls back.

"Tease."

"Thought I was a minx?"

"You're both," he says. "I don't mind though."

She grins, but it soon disappears. "I want to go home, but I don't want to leave before the reception."

"Kenna, it's just for today, babe. I know you'd rather be cuddled up with me in bed, but Lola needs you."

"Okay..." She says, unsure. "Can you at least get Perrine for me? She might be due a feed."

"You fed her before, she's fine."

She leans into his side. "Please? I... I just need her near me, alright?"

He releases a breath, going over to Lola's sister and holding a short, friendly conversation with her before taking Perrine.

He heads back to her and she immediately brings the five-week-old to her chest, kissing her head.

"She doesn't think I'm a bitch, does she?" She asks Bash, worriedly.

"I said that she was nearly due to have a feed. She was quick to give her back," he replies, bringing her to his side.

"Thank you," Kenna mumbles, eyeing Lola wave her over. "Shit, I need to take photos."

He takes Perrine from her. "Don't swear in front of our baby," he teases her.

Glaring at him, she lifts her dress as she heads down the steps to reach her best friends. She allows the photographer to take a few pictures of her good side, stopping when he starts to take the fifth picture.

Lola apologises, on her behalf, opting to have photos taken of her with Greer and then her, Stephane and his sons.

Kenna feels claustrophobic when she leaves to join Bash in their car. She notices that James is strapped in at the back along with Adrien and Perrine.

"Anne had to go to the toilet and Johnny wanted to take photos with his favourite _aunt_," Bash tells her.

She nods, yawning and resting her head against the window. "Can you drop me off at home? I don't think I'm in the mood to party anymore. I'm tired of planting a fake smile on all day. I just want to sleep. I couldn't get a minute in with Perrine crying all night and texting Lola for last minute details. The bachelorette party didn't help things either."

"You didn't drink," he replies, starting the car and leaving the carpark. He notices that Francis and Mary follow behind.

"No," Kenna says. "But still. I swear if I have one more person congratulating me about having a baby, I'll scream in their face. Yes, I am happy I have a new baby that keeps me up all night, but she is the last baby to ever be inside me."

She sees him eye the rearview mirror and she turns to see the boys engrossed on something that is playing on Adrien's tablet.

Clearing her throat, she lowers her voice. "Just take me home. I don't want to socialise anymore. I get that enough four times a bloody week."

"Fine. Adrien and I will go to the reception and explain to an already stressed bride why one of her bridesmaids has disappeared," Bash tells her.

She sends him a glare and they continue the journey to the reception hall in silence. She mentally curses him.

She doesn't get out of the car when he parks and lets the boys out to go inside with Mary, Francis and Anne. Not even when he puts their daughter in the baby carrier and attaches her to his chest.

"You coming or what?"

"Oh, fuck off," she mumbles under her breath, closing her eyes. She doesn't even have the energy to argue or even talk to him.

"Thirty minutes to nap and then I'm carrying you out of this car," he tells her, closing his door and heads inside.

Now that he's gone, she lashes out and hits the dashboard. As much as she loves Lola, she really doesn't care for her reception. She was there for the main thing, that was important.

Her eyes open when she hears the door open and she turns to see Adrien struggling to get into the car.

Muttering incoherent words of annoyance to herself, she undoes her seatbelt and helps her son, closing the door for him.

"Adi, what do you want? Mama is not in the mood, right now."

Adrien frowns. "Auntie Lola is looking for you. Papa said that you're being silly to her."

"Did he say I was being silly?" She asks him.

He shakes his head. "He said a bad word I'm not allowed to say."

_Charming_, she thinks bitterly.

"Well, Papa can go f-" She quickly stops herself, mentally cursing Bash for pushing her. He already had her see a therapist _four times_ a week. What else did he want from her?

"He 'can go' what?" Adrien asks innocently.

"Nothing, darling," she quickly says. "Why don't you go back and play with your cousins? I'm sure Lewis and Vincent will join you too."

He shakes his head. "If you're not going, I'm not going."

"That's sweet, baby. I want you to go inside though. I'm fine."

Adrien pulls a face, but she gets out of the car and helps him out. When she sees him head inside, she gets into the driver's seat and smiles when she finds Bash's keys in the middle compartment.

She locks the door and starts the car, driving out of the parking spot. For a smart guy, her partner is sometimes stupid.

When she gets to the entrance she sees someone looking at her through the rearview mirror.

"Fuck!" She cries out, returning the car to the parking spot.

She gets out, locking the car and heads over to Francis.

"Keys," he says.

"How did he know?" She asks him, placing the keys onto his hand.

He grins. "He was testing you. He would have been out here, but Perrine threw up."

Her eyes widen and she heads in, finding Mary and Greer fretting over Bash by the bathroom.

"What happened?" She asks, taking her daughter from him.

"She's fine," he tells her, wiping his waistcoat. "You didn't burp her."

"I did!" She snaps, rubbing her daughter's back. "You're really testing my patience today, Sebastian."

"Guys," Greer says, warningly. "Clean yourself up, Bash. Kenna, next room. Now."

Kenna walks off, heading into the changing room with Mary and Greer behind her.

"For God's sake, Kenna!" Greer snaps at her. "On Lola's big day, you're picking a fight?"

"He started it, not me!" She replies, scoffing at her friends. "This is exactly why I asked him to drop me off at home. I didn't want to ruin Lola's day. She doesn't need me dampening her spirits."

Mary sighs, sitting down. "I know you're still finding things difficult, but you couldn't have picked another day? Bash just doesn't want you to regret not being here."

"He's being bloody controlling, that's what he's doing," Kenna tells them. "He always is, thinks he can control my every move. I feel claustrophobic in my own home! He doesn't think I'm a good mother. I already don't think I'm a good mother, but he doesn't make any effort to make me think otherwise!"

"Kenna, it's all in your head. He doesn't think that!" Greer replies. "Oh, come on! It's just one day. You always loved a good party."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kenna asks, eyes wide. "I'm not _fun_ anymore? Well, I will tell you what's not fun. Having a fucking baby destroying your fucking life!"

Realising what she has just said, Kenna gasps. She quickly gives Perrine to Mary and backs out of the room.

She doesn't mean it. She couldn't stop the words from leaving her lips.

_Oh, God... Oh, God_, she thinks, almost stumbling in her heels as she runs away. She can't handle everyone's stares on her.

When she finally gets outside and inhales the fresh air, she breaks down. Her legs give over and she falls onto the ground.

_I thought I was getting better. They told me I was getting better. They lied. They're all liars. They'll take them away from me. God, they'll take them!_

Her throat chokes up with ugly sobs and at that moment, she wants the pain to stop.

She remembers the last time she tried to stop the pain.

Shakily, she gets up and attempts to get into Bash's car. She fails, cursing herself for giving the keys back.

Taking her heels off, she places them on top of the car and walks away from the place.

She just needs the pain to stop, just for a bit.

She doesn't even care when sharp stones or rocks cut into the bottom of her feet as she angrily wipes her tears.

At least her home is close to the place.

She waves a taxi cab over, promising the man that she will pay him extra if he waits outside her house for her to pay him.

When she gets home, she finds her spare key and lets herself in. She finds a few notes and one of her cards in her handbag upstairs and heads back downstairs, wearing her slippers.

She pays the driver and returns back inside, closing the door behind her in relief.

Making her way back upstairs, she makes herself a bath. She doesn't care that it is freezing cold as the water runs.

"I didn't mean them," she says to herself, sobbing against the tub. "I didn't mean them..."

Turning the taps off, she gives up and lies against the tub.

All she wanted was to sleep. Why didn't he let her sleep?

Now, she can't even sleep.

All she can do is blame herself for being a fucking, despicable person.

Her stomach grumbles, but she doesn't pay any mind to it. Nothing tastes decent anyway.

Everything is slipping away from her and she can't stop it.

"I'm sorry...," she says, pressing a stressed hand against the dull ache in her head. "I'm sorry..."

The last thing she mumbles before she slips into unconsciousness is her daughter's name.

"_Perrine Aveline_."


	20. Chapter 20

**Warning: Mentions of suicide. A lot of heavy feels and emotions. Tears? Definitely.**

* * *

Opening her eyes, she sees a blurry figure tending to her bleeding feet. She blinks a few times and realises it's Alexander.

"You left the key in the door. I put it back to its usual spot," he explains, making her wince when he dabs some antiseptic on her cuts. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," she says, her voice breaking. "Is everyone mad at me? I never meant to-"

Alex sends her a glare and she immediately stops talking. His face says it all. She ruined everything as usual.

"I know you're struggling, Kenna. You can't hurt everyone around you. We're just trying to help," he says, sitting beside her when he's finished. "We didn't tell Lola. Mary just said that you weren't feeling too well. Aunt Janet cornered us, demanding what was going on. She felt your aura or something and it wasn't good."

"I've rarely been near her," Kenna mumbles.

"You know how Aunt Janet is like," he replies. "I know what you said, Bash heard it too when I was heading to the bathroom. He was really upset. We had to get him a drink before he had a meltdown,"

Her eyes widen and she grips onto his forearm. "Tell me that isn't true..."

"It is," he says to her. "Kenna, you're not the only one hurting, hon. I think... I think Bash is hurt too. He doesn't know how to help you and every time he tries to, you push him away."

She shrugs indifferently. "Well, if he didn't act like an overcontrolling arsehole, maybe I'd have more sympathy. He isn't the one who almost died giving birth to our daughter. Nor is he the one who lost something."

Alex scoffs and he shakes his head. "Why did you run a bath?"

"Why not?"

He turns to her. "Did you...?"

"Did I what?" She feigns confusion.

He lets out a bitter chuckle. "I know you better than you think, Mckenna. You promised me, you told me to trust you."

"I know," she whispers, sobs escaping her lips. "I feel so dead inside."

"You told me lies," he tells her. "Am I losing you again, or what? Do you want me to leave so you could drown yourself and leave your children motherless?"

"Alexander!" She cries out, hitting him. "I..."

She shakes her head, shoving him and getting up. She heads back into her bedroom and starts opening her wardrobes and dressers. She shoves clothes onto her bed and retrieves two suitcases from under her bed.

He just watches her, disappointment and hopelessness in his eyes.

"Have I really failed?" He asks her. "As a brother, did I fail to protect you?"

She pauses, her hand gripping tightly onto the shirt she holds. "Yes. _You_ left, remember?"

"And I'm sorry about that," he quickly says, going over to stop her from continuing to pack her things. "Where are you going? Why are you running?"

"They'll send me to a hospital or somewhere! Say I'm mad!"

"You're being irrational," he gently tells her, cupping her cheek. "I'm a doctor, I would know. No one is sending you to a hospital. Have you eaten?"

"I'm not hungry," she says. "Let me go."

He holds their hands up to her eyes. "I'm not even holding you that tightly. You can let go if you want."

She realises that _she's_ holding _him_. Her grip is tight and right then, she wishes she was holding Bash's hands.

"You look so tired... Have you taken your iron tablets for your anaemia?" He asks her.

"No," she mumbles, bowing her head as if she's a child told off.

He lifts her chin. "We all want to help you, sis. I don't think the interpersonal therapy is working, but it does take three to four months of treatment. I... I hate to say this, but I think you might be experiencing a more severe type of postnatal depression."

"What does that mean?" She asks, horrified.

"I _think_, okay? I'm not an expert on that - I just fix broken bones and bloody noses," he says lightly. "Urm, you might be put on antidepressants or..."

"Or what, Alexander?"

He looks down. "Hospitalisation or a mental health clinic," he replies, eyeing the bathroom. "If that is the case, I promise you, Dad will get on this and he will find you the best private care-"

"You've already made your diagnosis," she says in disbelief. "You said they wouldn't send me to hospital."

"I can't fool myself or you!" He cries out. "You just tried to kill yourself!"

"No... I-I didn't," she replies firmly. "I stopped myself."

He shakes his head. "But you thought about it, didn't you? I'm the only one who knows your deepest secret. Your attempts during your marriage weren't the only times, remember?"

Kenna freezes. "No."

"You said the blade was the only thing making you feel better. That holding your breath made you feel better... I felt so weak and you wouldn't let me tell anyone."

"I never did any of those since you left! I threw myself into my studies and..."

"It's come out, hasn't it? When you had the miscarriage? When you had Perrine?"

She sobs. "Oh, God... I'm sorry."

"I won't tell anyone about any of that," he tells her, bringing her to his chest. "That's what we do, we protect each other. We've always done that. I need more than your promise this time..."

"What?"

"Tell Bash," he says into her hair. "Tell him, let him in. I can't keep lying for you."

"I'd give him more reasons to leave me," she croaks out. "No, Alexander. Don't make me do that."

He pulls back, gripping her by her shoulders. "I have to."

"I hate you."

"This is for your own good. You're not only hurting yourself, but your children are also suffering. _He_ is suffering. He loves you, I can see that despite how much I don't like him," Alex tells her. "At one point, Dad, Dougie and I stopped looking out for you. Let him in. Let him be the first one to tell all your fears and problems to. You're only destroying your relationship."

She stops fighting, nodding shakily as she sinks onto the bed. She closes her eyes and she feels weak.

"Let's get you something to eat," he says, taking his suit jacket off. "Just some toast and then you can sleep."

True to his word, he makes her two slices of toast. He also gives her some orange juice despite her not liking the taste.

"Vitamin C," he tells her, patting her hand. He places her supplements in front of her. "Take them."

Silently, she complies and continues to eat bits of the toast. When she is done, she heads back upstairs and pushes her clothes onto the ground from her bed.

She gets dressed into something more comfortable and gets into bed, pulling the duvet up to her chin.

She hears her brother enter, starting to clear up her mess and shoving her suitcases back under her bed. He places a soft kiss on her head and gives her a small smile.

"I'll look after you," he promises her. "Sleep, yeah? I'll let everyone know you're okay."

"You won't tell them?"

"I promised not to, didn't I? Just keep up your side of the deal."

She eyes him nervously. "I can't."

"Why not? He won't hurt you," Alex replies.

She shifts. "Bash doesn't forgive so easily. He's already tried for custody, it will be easier now that we're not married anymore."

"Well, if you truly believe he can do something like that, maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do," her brother says.

"Or maybe I do know him..."

"If that's the case, aren't you lucky your family is just as powerful as his?" Alex tells her. "I won't let anyone take your children away from you. Not even their own father."

"I do everything wrong. It will be so easy for him to take them," she says fearfully. "I can't do this anymore, I'm tired."

He sits on the bed, brushing her hair from her eyes. "Do you want to get better?"

"I do. I just don't see a way out of the darkness," she whispers.

"I'll call Dad, then," he says. "We will arrange an appointment for you to see your doctor and get you the best help you need."

"Can I have a week?"

"The sooner the better," he replies.

She sighs. "What about Adrien and Bash?"

"There is support for them too. You do understand what I'm suggesting, don't you?" Alex asks her.

"I thought I was getting better."

"We all did," he replies. "It's better to be safe than sorry."

"Okay. Can you tell Bash? I don't think I can handle telling him..."

"Whatever you need, Kenna."

She sits up, hugging him tightly. At least she's doing this voluntarily. It will make things easier and hopefully, less painful.

"A week, please?" She begs.

"Okay. You have a week."

...

Bash looks up from his drink, smiling when Adrien snuggles his way into his chest and looks up at him.

"Are you sad?"

"No, why?" Bash asks, brushing his hair from his eyes.

"You look it," Adrien states. "Can I have a sip?"

Bash looks at his drink for a while before shaking his head. "It's an adult drink."

"Okay," Adrien replies sadly. "Where's Mama?"

"At home. She's not feeling well," says Bash. "Hey, why don't you go and play?"

Adrien shakes his head, making his place on Bash's lap in defiance. The boy watches as the children he played with beckons him over. He shakes his head, gesturing to Bash.

"Maybe later," he tells them.

Anne pouts, running off to find her mother as the boys continue to play. It's a funny scene, almost makes Bash smile.

_Kids are a blessing_, he thinks sadly. He squeezes Adrien, leaning his chin on the boy's shoulder. It feels so natural and comforting, he almost forgets her words.

Did that mean that their daughter was a mistake? That their relationship was a mistake?

He was scared of doing the wrong thing, that anything however little or big would set her off and she'd leave him. He wasn't the easiest man to be with, he knew that. He had hoped they'd get through any storm together.

He senses a presence beside him and he sends Lola an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Lola replies, waving it off. "Do you know how she is?"

"No. Her brother told me to stay," he tells her.

Lola nods. "Alexander always knew how to fix things. He's probably a better option, he's medically trained."

"I don't understand though. Why she said that about our daughter," he says. "If someone says something like that, they obviously mean it, right?"

Lola looks stunned by his words and she clears her throat saying, "I don't know, Bash. I don't know what's going on in that head of hers. I wish I did so I could make the pain stop."

"I don't think she even knows what's going on in her own head," Bash says, running his fingers through Adrien's hair. "This isn't right, you should be enjoying your wedding day."

"Why don't you head to Kenna? Honestly, I'd rather have you with her than here, worrying and drowning your sorrows with a kid in your arms," Lola replies, ruffling Adrien's hair. "I can look after him and Mary can take him home."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I am," she replies, giving him a bright smile. She turns to Adrien. "Hey, want some ice cream?"

Adrien turns to his father. "Are you going to be okay, Papa?"

"I am," Bash tells him, kissing his head. "You've made me all better."

Grinning, the child leaves his father and takes Lola's hand as they head over to the dessert table. On their way, they bring John and James along.

Finishing his drink, Bash collects his suit jacket and leaves, collecting Kenna's things from the changing room. He heads outside and sighs when he sees her heels thrown on top of his car.

Taking them, he unlocks his car and puts their things inside.

"Bash!"

"Francis," Bash says, turning around. "I'm going to see how she's doing."

Francis gives him a nod, gesturing to the baby in his arms. "Want to take her too?"

"I don't know. I don't know if it's..."

"You don't think she would hurt her own baby, do you?" His brother asks him, slightly alarmed.

Bash shrugs. "I don't know, Francis. Kenna is complicated. Don't worry, I'll take Perrine. It's unfair on everyone if we're just passing her off."

"Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, Bash. This doesn't only affect the mother, but the partner and the children before... Just call me, even if it's at two in the morning and you want to talk about the weather," Francis tells him. "Enough of the sappy shit, I've already cried today."

Bash laughs and takes his daughter, placing a soft kiss on her head. "Thanks. Now, before you make me cry or something, I'm going to go."

"Drive safely."

"I will."

"Call me when you get there."

"Yep."

"Bash?"

"What?"

Francis shrugs a little. "I love you."

Bash looks up at him. "Urgh. Do you want me to say those words back or something?"

The blonde grins. "Go on. Let me hear them."

"I... I lo-I can't. You know I do, you're my brother," Bash replies. "It's so awkward and in public too?"

"You say it all the time to Kenna and the kids. What about me? I knew you first," Francis says.

"Fine. I love you, too. Can I go now or do you want me to sing?"

"You can go now."

"Thank you. Don't forget you're dropping Adrien off."

Francis nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "How about he stays over for the night? Gives Kenna some space."

"I was going to take him to the apartment with me. I don't want him to get too used to staying away from her. She'd think that we don't trust her. I can't have her thinking that," Bash replies. "Thanks for the offer, though."

"No worries. Let me know how things go."

Bash gives him a small smile, strapping Perrine into her car seat and getting into the car himself. He takes a moment to compose himself before he finally starts the car and leaves.

...

Kenna jolts awake, turning to Alexander in confusion. "I... I fell asleep."

"Yeah, you slept for three hours. Bash is downstairs," Alexander tells her, wiping some sweat from her head. "You don't look too good. You're running a fever."

"I'm fine," she says, batting his hand away. "It's just so bloody hot. Can you open a window?"

"Shall I send Bash upstairs?"

"When did you start calling him that?" She asks back. "Are you best friends now, both of you controlling my life?"

He disregards her words, handing her a glass of water. "Should cool you down. Are you feeling any pain?"

She nods, accepting the medication from him. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"You always are," he replies sadly. "I'll send him up. You should start Perrine on the bottle. Make things easier for you."

"I feel like shit."

"Good."

"Where's your sympathy?" She frowns.

Alex gives her a smile. "It's there. It's always there, but sometimes you need tough love. You're only hurting yourself. Literally."

"Does she need a feed?"

"Yep. I'll send them up."

He leaves, her eyes watching his every move. The moment he's gone, Kenna's breathing quickens.

She literally dumped her child and ran away from her after telling someone that the baby ruined her life. She was a terrible person, saying such vile words.

She looks for a way out to avoid seeing or touching her, but Bash enters and their eyes meet.

"Give her to me," she tells him, mentally admitting defeat as she reaches her arms out. She can't starve the poor baby and she really ought to get a pump.

"I need you to answer a question first," he replies.

Her hands begin to shake as she says, "Okay."

"Was she a mistake?"

Returning her hands to her sides, she tells him, "No. I wanted her. I wanted her more than I wanted the whole world and more. I'd admit, after we slept together, I considered taking the morning after pill. The more I thought about it, I _wished_ to get pregnant. Now, she's here... I love her and hate her at the same time because her being here means I can't have any more children. I know some women can't even have kids and here I am being a bitch when I've already been blessed with two, but it was so unexpected. I knew something was going to happen, I'd rather be dead than have this emptiness in me."

"You want to die?"

"I don't know what I want, Sebastian. All I know is I'm hurt and I don't understand how to stop it."

He shushes Perrine when she starts to whimper and he can't keep holding it off. Tentatively, he makes his way over to her and hands the baby to her mother.

Kenna pauses, surprised at the contact before she quickly starts to feed the baby.

He remains close, crossing his arms as he watches her. Under his gaze, she feels uncomfortable and she wants to kick him so he could turn away.

"I'm taking Adrien for the night," he says after a while.

"No, he's staying at home," she mumbles. He has to because she needs a week with him. "He's my son, I'll have him with me. Anyway, I'm going to Scotland."

"If that helps, spending time with your family then go for it."

"Not home, Bash," she tells him. "There is a private Mother and Baby Unit a friend of my father's recommended. I'm leaving next week."

Bash takes a shaky breath, taking her free hand. "I don't want you to go, but I know it would help. I thought I could help you, that we'd get through this together. That's unlikely now."

"I made things difficult. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life. The day we met at my birthday party? The next day, I was on antidepressants and I came off them shortly before we got together. I'm not who you think I am, I'm not the strong woman you love," she confesses sadly. "Everything negative you said about me was true. Selfish, vain, jealous, impulsive, reckless, shallow, liar, that's all me."

"I'm just as fucked up as you. Maybe, that's why we're perfect for each other," he says. "I'm all of those things too."

His words send chills up her back and she just sits there with him in silence as their daughter is latched onto her. They're just as toxic as the other, they already knew that.

"Let's take a break," she says after the silence. "When I return, we can work things out again."

"I'm tired of that same shit. Up and down, off and on. I can't do that. Either we're off or we're on, no grey area," he snaps. "I'm crazy about you just as much as I hope you're crazy about me, too. I will be there every day for you, you'll be sick of the sight of me."

"I already am," she replies numbly.

He turns away from her, a small smile playing on his lips. "You look like a mess."

At first, she's confused. Then, surprisingly, a ghost of a smile makes its way onto her face.

He continues with, "You have bags under your eyes. Your makeup's a mess. You could have at least washed it off. You've gone and stained the pillowcase."

"Thanks," she mumbles. "I literally woke up before you and..." Her daughter's name suddenly is too painful to even utter. "Before you came here. I've not been sleeping well, haven't been for a long while. I'm not good and I... I need help."

"I know," he whispers, tears stinging his eyes. "It's like you're here, but you're not here."

"I don't want a break," she sobs. "I don't want to lose you."

"What a pair we make."

She leans into his side. "I'm... I'm suicidal. I've never said that out loud before."

"I know," he replies, wrapping an arm over her shoulders. "I kind of guessed that the last few years of our marriage weren't your first attempts."

"Since I was thirteen," she tells him. "I'm so fake, I got so good at hiding it. Alexander knew about it, he was the only one - I couldn't even tell Mary. I used to cut."

"When did you stop?"

She shrugs. "Shortly before I turned sixteen."

"Is that why you were crying?" He asks her.

"Part of it. I've always been messed up, Bash. I just never admitted it to myself, I was in denial," she says. "I tried again today, but I didn't get far - I stopped myself. No one understands, you probably think I'm crazy."

He looks down at her. "Of course, I don't. I understand most of all," he says softly. "Maybe, it was fate."

"What do you mean?" She breathes out, nervously.

"You're not the only one who tried things to escape. Francis... Adrien... Without them, I wouldn't be here," he admits. "Now you and Perrine Aveline."

She closes her eyes. "Fate, indeed. We're so unhealthy together."

"I can't live without you," he says.

"Neither can I," she replies, looking up to face him.

She studies his face, his eyes, his lips. She's taking mental pictures of him, she doesn't want to lose this moment.

She's laid out all of her scars, her dark secrets. She has never done that before to a partner.

_"Kenna, Bash could be the one for you. Just get to know him..."_ Mary's words echo in her mind.

Did Mary ever know of this side to Sebastian Poitiers? He was her greatest mystery and she's just solved him whole. She knew him inside and out.

"Versace and Louboutins. The first gifts I ever got you and when you wore them to our date, I knew I'd be with you for life," he whispers. "I remember the first time I met you. I was nervous, I don't even know why."

"You've cracked the code and you've found out everything about me," she replies. "I hold no secrets with you."

"Yet, you still amaze me," he says. "I was nervous because I knew you'd keep me on my toes. Being with you was exciting and amazing... I ruined things and I regret that."

She blinks. "Marry me. When I come back, marry me."

"What?" He breathes out. "Kenna, I thought-"

"I wasn't _sure_ then. I am now," she tells him. "I want you so badly, I _need_ you. That's my goal. You, Adrien, Perrine... I want _that_. I want to get better for us, our family."

He presses his lips onto hers in desperation and she replies just as fervently. Their lips move seamlessly until a cry breaks them apart.

Kenna looks down and sees her daughter staring right up at her with her blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers into her baby's ear. "I never should have said that. You're perfect and you didn't ruin my life. I did that on my own. I'm so sorry."

She sobs, feeling Bash's arms wrap around them. His lips press against the side of her head and she wishes that she never hurt her family like this.

"Forgive me," she tells Bash, looking at him through her tears. "Please, forgive me."

"You don't need my forgiveness. There's nothing to forgive," he replies, kissing her. "Just _talk_ to me, Kenna. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, for you to get help, for you to be happy... Meet me halfway."

"I will, I swear it," she says. "I'm so sorry."

"There's still hope. Hold on to that."

She shakes her head. "I gave up on hope, Bash. It does nothing. I have to crawl out of this mess I've made myself."

"No, there is hope," he says firmly. "And we'll get out of this mess _together_. After all, we're getting married, Beautiful."

Despite the despair she feels, she smiles.


	21. Chapter 21

**Warning: this might not all be accurate fully. Just setting a scene as I've done so much research to get most things accurate at least. A few things are personal experiences. Read to your discretion :) x**

* * *

As her father, mother and brother speak with the specialist, Kenna wonders if she'd be able to get a word in edgewise.

"...We're strongly against any medication of any sort," her mother says, cutting into her thoughts.

The mental health nurse, Katie, turns to her. "What is _your_ say in all of this?"

Kenna shrugs. "I don't know. Well, I do know that I don't want to take medication."

"We can talk with your psychiatrist to see what treatments are best for you," the nurse replies. "I can pass that on. Is there a reason why?"

"I used to take them for about four or five years..." Kenna trails off. "Never again."

"Kenna, it seems to me that your family are speaking on your behalf. Are their decisions yours initially?" The nurse asks her.

Kenna nods. "They've always been a part of my depression struggles. They know me better than I know myself."

"But this is about _you_. You and... what is your daughter's name again?"

Kenna's eyes land on Perrine who is asleep in her mother's arms. She's said her name many times before, but it's painful to even say it now. Without sobbing or falling asleep in exhaustion.

"P-P..." She tries, biting her lip nervously. "Perrine Aveline."

"That's a beautiful name. Who chose it?"

"I did," Kenna tells her. "I chose Perrine and my partner chose Aveline - a variant of it."

The nurse smiles. "Does the name have any meaning?"

A memory sneaks its way into her mind and it makes her smile a little.

_"Perrine. She will be our rock. It's similar to Adrien and it's a lovely French name - the feminine version of Perrin," Kenna said._

_Bash smiled. "That's beautiful. At least we're more prepared this time... How about Eve from the Bible? Or even Eva? Or even Mckenzie to please your handsome father."_

_Giggling she replies, "How about Aveline? Ava for short."_

_"That's beautiful. Perrine will be her first name though," he said, rubbing her bump and feeling their child kick. "I think she likes our choices."_

_"Perrine Aveline Mckenzie Poitiers, our longed-for child," Kenna said._

Kenna's smile disappears and she clears her throat. "Our rock and longed-for child."

"Is that the case?" The nurse asks.

"I don't know," Kenna replies numbly. "Are you just going to sit here and psychoanalyse me all day? I've been in and out of therapy for years, I know how this goes."

"Mckenna," her mother says softly.

Kenna sighs, rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," the nurse says. "Right, I'll show you to your room. You will meet your nursery nurse in there. She will help you care for Perrine Aveline. We can discuss other details about your stay here."

"Don't you have all my information already? You've had a referral," Kenna asks her. "Why do you need it all again and why do I have to go through all that again?"

"Kenna, this is to make sure that _you_ understand why you've been referred here," the nurse replies calmly as Kenna's parents look at her with disapproving looks. "Yes, we do have all the information about you, your family and other details. We want to be active with you in your recovery."

Kenna nods. "Fair enough," she replies. "Let's get this over with."

When they get to her room, she inspects it and gives a nod of acknowledgement to the nursery nurse.

"Hi, I'm Leslie Riche, your nursery nurse," the woman says in a thick Scottish accent.

Kenna smiles a little. "Kenna. Guess this is home, right?"

"We want this to be as welcoming, homey and comfortable for you, Kenna," Leslie tells her. "We will talk as you settle in with Perrine Aveline."

"It's just Perrine," Kenna says. "You can call her Perrine."

Leslie acknowledges her request. "As you and Perrine settle in, we will discuss Perrine's care plan. How she feeds, sleeps - that's the sort of things I'd discuss with you."

Kenna nods, turning to her family. "You can go now," she tells them as she collects her daughter from Joanna and places a soft kiss on the baby's cheek.

"Your mother and I will visit you every weekend," Robert tells her, planting a kiss onto her forehead. "If you need anything at all..."

"I'm good," Kenna replies nonchalantly as she turns to Alex. "Anything to say?"

Alex sighs. "Try, okay? And don't bite off everyone's head when you're sleep deprived or just a bitch."

"I'll try," she mumbles, rolling her eyes.

As her mental health nurse sees them out, Kenna sits down on the twin bed and looks up at Leslie. "How does this work? The care plan?"

Leslie gives her a comforting smile as she says, "As I said, feeding, sleeping... Kenna, _you_ are important. We're all here to support you in dealing with this. _My_ job is to focus on Perrine as you focus on your recovery. You can think of me as a nanny, only you'd be fully in control and tending to your daughter."

Kenna looks down. "I-I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't _function_. All I'd rather do is nothing at all," she tells Leslie.

"Is Perrine a reason you can't sleep?" Leslie asks her.

Kenna nods. "It's every two hours that she needs a feed and I don't even have the strength to use a pump. My partner tries his best and so does my mum, but she's only being breastfed. It's a personal choice, I did it with my eldest."

"Okay, we can try out some pumps today and see what we can do to start weaning her off you and onto a bottle."

"Does that make me a bad mum? I never wanted to start her on the bottle too early... I wouldn't prefer that."

"Of course, not!" Leslie replies. "It's understandable, but you are working on no energy. Do you fall asleep randomly, pass out and the sort?"

"Yeah," Kenna says, nodding. "All I do is fall asleep, I can't do anything else. I mean last week was the first time I had over an hour of sleep in total. When she finishes feeding at night, it's impossible for me to get back to sleep because I think and thinking makes me believe I'm doing things wrong and... Then, I hate her..."

Leslie's smile vanishes a little, but it remains as she says, "Right, we have an overnight staff to take care of Perrine during the night. As for feeding, think of it this way. It might be a bottle, but it isn't the formula. If you're able to pump enough milk for her today, it will get easier and she will still be technically breastfed."

"Makes sense," Kenna agrees. "Would I have to be around her all the time?"

"Not necessarily. Some treatments require you not to be distracted. Are you comfortable around Perrine?"

Kenna shrugs. "Sometimes it feels like I'm holding fire in my arms, other times... I just need her by my side. I don't really trust her with anyone else for over thirty minutes. It's like I'm trying to apologise to her for being so... for not being the mother I was to my eldest."

"Was your first pregnancy similar?"

"No. Well, not to this extent. I was too into caring for my son to even have depression, I guess. My partner was very hands on too, so I was supported greatly. Although the same can be said for this time, there's something I lost and..." She trails off. "You're not the person I need to say all of this towards - this isn't therapy. I'm sorry."

Leslie waves it off. "Not at all. As I said, we're all here to support you. Even if it's a shoulder to cry on. Shall I leave you both to settle in and start unpacking?"

Kenna nods, standing up. "Yeah. Thank you, Leslie."

"No problem at all, Kenna." Before she leaves, Leslie stops by the door. "Quick thing. Consent. There will be a form you can sign if you wish for your partner, family members or other professionals to share your information with us and vice versa should any questions arise. It will probably help on your recovery even after you leave the MBU."

"Oh, yeah. I'll sign it. If I don't, my father and partner will freak out. I don't mind, I trust them," Kenna replies.

Leslie smiles, waving at an awake Perrine before she leaves, closing the door behind her.

Looking down at her daughter's wide eyes, Kenna whispers, "I guess this is home for a while..."

...

Treatment is started almost immediately and that almost throws Kenna off. She sits in front of her psychologist in silence, watching the clock tick by.

The perinatal psychologist doesn't say anything, she hasn't since the session started forty-five minutes ago. As she spoke then, Kenna didn't bother replying.

She didn't even have the answers so she figured staying silent was better than pulling bullshit out of thin air.

The remaining time flows by and Kenna stands and says, "Good chat."

"Kenna, we have these sessions to help you. In your own time," her psychologist, Zara tells her.

Kenna swallows deeply and nods. "Hmm-hmm," she hums.

"You have an appointment with your child psychologist in fifteen minutes. Why don't you find something to eat so you can take your supplements?" Zara suggests. "We'll return to this tomorrow at the same time where we'll draw up a care plan."

"Great," Kenna mumbles, leaving.

She wraps her arms around her waist as she wonders around the unit, spying on women and their children during group activities. She's met a few mums yesterday, but she wasn't up for any more socialising other than introductions.

Heading to her room, she sees Leslie pulling funny faces at Perrine who stares on in shock and wonder. Kenna frowns, she wasn't even able to make the baby smile - not like Bash or Adrien were able to.

"How was your first session?" Leslie asks, handing Perrine over to Kenna.

_Like the ones that I went to four times a week. Utter silence, I even caught some forty winks,_ Kenna thinks.

"It was okay," she says out loud. "Same time tomorrow - we'll do up a care plan."

Leslie nods. "That's good. Baby steps. I'll leave you both be. You have my pager by your bed if you need me."

When she leaves, Kenna immediately places Perrine into the crib and gets into the bed, pulling the duvet over her head.

She yawns, just curling into a ball on the mattress. Tears leak from her eyes when she realises that it's five more days until Bash's visit with Adrien. She misses them terribly and she regrets being a shitty mother to her son. She even ruined his birthday.

She takes shaky breaths to control her breathing, but it doesn't help. She gets a lot of these lately. At night when she's alone with her thoughts and worries and fears and whatever dark shit that flows through her mind.

She curses herself, pulls the duvet off her body and gets out of bed. Fixing her face, she heads over to Perrine and picks her up against her chest.

"Let's go to this boring meeting, shall we?"

Martina Martineau is her child psychologist. A lovely and friendly woman with raven locks just like Mary's. Her eyes are grey and sharp and she greets Kenna with a warm smile.

"I'm here to keep an eye on Perrine's development. She looks very healthy, you're doing a great job!" Martina tells her. "As well as seeing over Perrine's development, I also help you bond with your baby. I've been told you've been experiencing some difficulties with Perrine."

Kenna looks her up and down and nods. "Yep."

"Do you want to expand on that?"

"Nope."

"Okay," Martina breathes out. "Well, this is only a thirty-minute session as we don't want to overwhelm you."

Kenna sighs when Perrine starts to cry. She tests the waters, checking to see what was wrong with her. She was fed and burped before her first therapy session, her nappy had been changed by Leslie...

Making noises of displeasure, she tries soothing her daughter, placing her against her shoulder and rubbing her back. She sings something in French, something Diane taught her.

It seems to do the trick, but at the last minute just as Kenna is about to put her down, Perrine cries even louder.

"She's not normally..." Kenna mutters to herself, but Martina hears clearly.

"Have you checked-"

"You've seen me check everything. She's also been fed and she doesn't do the face she makes when she's hungry," Kenna snaps. "I apologise."

Martina waves it off. "That's fine. Would you like me to examine her? Has she been examined?"

"Examined for what?" Kenna asks her. "Do you think I'd hurt my own baby?"

Martina shakes her head. "No, I don't think you'd hurt your own baby. We've held conversations with a few family members... One said that you said and I quote 'having a baby destroying your life'." She clears her throat. "I took out the strong words of choice, of course. I just think it will help if I check her over, don't you?"

Kenna slowly nods, accepting Martina's offer. She keeps close as the woman checks her baby over.

"Just a slight fever," Martina says, checking the thermometer. "I'll cut today's session so you can have her attended to."

"F-Fever?"

"Nothing to worry about," Martina assures her. "Might be the surrounding temperature. A fever is common, it shows that Perrine's immune system is working as it should."

Kenna's eyes widen. "Does that mean she has an infection? It's my fault, oh God. I haven't been watching her properly."

Tears spring to her eyes and she turns away from them, trying to stop them from falling.

"Kenna?"

"I can't do this. I can't..."

Martina picks Perrine up and goes to stand in front of Kenna. "Who does Perrine look like? I'm just curious."

Kenna frowns. "When she was born, she looked like me. Now, she's looking more and more like her father. They have the same eyes, just like my son's and they're beautiful..." Kenna says through her tears. "My partner, he's so handsome and we were bound to make just as gorgeous babies."

Martina smiles brightly. "Would you like to stare into them?"

"I do that a lot already," Kenna says dismissively as she goes to sit down.

"She's stopped crying," Martina tells her. "Maybe, it wasn't a fever as I thought. Maybe, she was just unsettled over something else."

"What?" Kenna asks in confusion. "Were you tricking me?"

"No," Martina says. "It's not so easy to identify a fever in a young baby. I did, however, remind myself of the normal temperature for a baby her age."

Kenna is stunned. "Why did you say that?"

"I didn't say anything. I just assumed Perrine's sudden behaviour was down to a slight fever. You responded well, though."

"Are you allowed to do that?" Kenna asks her angrily. "Can I have my baby now?"

Martina hands her over and stands back as Kenna gets to her feet and leaves. Sighing, the child psychologist bites her lip in thought.

...

When the arrow lands through the bullseye, Adrien turns around to face everyone.

"Did I do it?" He asks his father and uncle as his cousins stare on in shock. "DId I do it right?"

"Right?" Bash repeats. "Adrien, you got the arrow through the red target on your _first_ try."

Adrien grins, bowing. "Can you take pictures for Mama?"

Slipping his phone out and pressing the camera button, Bash snaps a few pictures and wonders why he didn't film it in the first place.

"Well done, Little Man!" Bash tells him. "Let James have a try."

As Francis instructs his son, Bash takes Adrien over to the bench. The two of them watch as James shoots his arrow near the edge of the target board.

"Well done, Jamie!" Adrien calls out, clapping.

James scowls, crossing his arms as he switches places with John. John manages to get the arrow near the red target much to his younger brother's displeasure.

"I taught you well," Bash says under his breath to Adrien. "You're just like me and your mum. We can't get enough of the outdoors."

"What was Mama like?" Adrien asks curiously. "She's very... _different_ now."

Bash nods sadly. "I know what you mean. She wasn't always different though. We used to go hiking before you were born. We'd travel a fair bit too."

"Where have you been with Mama?"

"All over the world. We've been to Australia for your Aunt Elisabeth's wedding," Bash starts. "Singapore for your Aunt Margaret's wedding... Huh, we only seem to travel when it's a special occasion."

"You've never been on holiday? What about when we went to see Mickey Mouse?"

Bash chuckles. "You remember that? You were _three_."

Adrien replies with a shrug. "Mama showed me pictures. So, what was Mama like?"

"Mama was very adventurous. She wasn't scared to try new things," Bash tells his son. "She smiled a lot, even when she was sad. She never gave up."

"When is she coming home?"

"I don't know, Adrien," Bash replies sadly. "When she's ready, I guess?"

"Did I make her go? I promise to eat my breakfast and peas if she'll come home," Adrien promises. "I will be a good boy. I won't ask her to carry me anymore. I will not act like a baby - we have a new baby. I'll be a big boy, I'll do everything _myself_ and-"

Bash lifts him up and onto his lap, hugging him tightly as the child starts to cry and clutch at his father's shirt. It gains Francis's attention and he swiftly takes his sons over to the lake nearby to dip their feet in and try and see the fish.

"It's my fault," Adrien says against his father's chest. "You and Mama didn't want to be together anymore because of me and we left France for England. I know it upset you, Papa. I'm sorry."

"Adrien, can you look at me please, mon chéri?" Bash asks him softly.

Adrien shyly looks up and cups his father's cheek. "What?" He pouts.

"Mama just needs some rest. It's _nothing_ to do with you - nothing is your fault. Mama and I didn't want to be together anymore because we were really unhappy and it was hard," Bash tells him. "When you stop being friends with someone you love and you barely see them, it can hurt your relationship."

"Are you together now though? For good?" Adrien asks, sniffling.

Bash nods. "Yeah, we are. But we don't want to live together anymore. At least, not now."

"Why not? All my friends have their mamas and papas living together!" Adrien cries out. "Why can't I have the same?"

"We're not ready, baby," Bash replies, brushing Adrien's hair from his eyes so he can see them. "Mama and I are fixing our relationship again. I'm sorry you're hurt about all of this."

Adrien looks away, placing his head back onto Bash's chest. "Do you and Mama still love me? Perrine gets all the attention, you barely play with me..." He whines sadly.

"Adi, Mummy and I love you to the moon, back and-"

"Around again. Two more times, Papa," Adrien finishes for him with a soft sigh.

"We love you so much, we'll never stop loving you. Even when we're apart from each other, you will always be in our hearts and on our minds," Bash says, placing a kiss on his forehead. "As for spending time with you, I'm working on that. And so is Mama."

Adrien tightens his grip on Bash. "Really?"

"Really. I know I haven't been a good daddy, Adrien and I'm sorry. None of this is because of you. Both Mama and I made mistakes, big mistakes and you and your sister were caught in the middle. You never deserved all of this and I'm so sorry, Little Man," Bash says. "What if you talked to somebody about everything you're feeling right now?"

Adrien frowns. "Like who?"

"Someone who listens to people's problems and helps them to solve them," Bash replies. "Like what Mama is doing? Someone is helping her solve her problems."

"Will they tell me off?" Adrien asks worriedly.

"No, Adrien. No one will tell you off," Bash tells him. "I'll be there if you want and so will Mama."

Adrien slowly nods. "Okay," he replies, wiping his tears. "Can I go play in the water now?"

"Okay, stay close to Uncle Francis though," Bash says, kissing his head before the boy gets off his lap and heads towards Francis and the boys.

Realising that his phone is still in his hand, Bash unlocks it and sees his wallpaper. Francis had taken the picture of him with Perrine in his arms, Kenna and Adrien as Adrien blew out his candles.

Staring intently at Kenna, he sees the light in her eyes as she watches Adrien. Although their little boy may have not been made out of love like his sister kind of was, they both love him very dearly and no matter what happens, Adrien and Perrine will always come first.

...

"I don't like Martina," Kenna tells Leslie that night as she gets ready for bed.

Leslie raises her eyebrows, balancing Perrine in one arm as her other hand helps Kenna put a shirt on.

"Do you need anything?" Leslie asks her, deciding not to dive into Kenna's reasons against Martina.

Kenna nods, wincing. "Paracetamol or ibuprofen."

"I'll see that for you. Do you want to say 'goodnight' to Perrine as I get that for you?"

Kenna sighs, taking Perrine from Leslie before the woman disappears out her door. Planting a kiss on Perrine's head, Kenna quickly puts the child into the crib and continues to get ready.

She finds herself playing with her wedding ring as she just paces the room. She feels alone even though she's surrounded by many people. Even though her daughter lies not that far from her.

Kenna stops when she hears soft whimpers coming from her daughter. She heads over to the crib and watches as Perrine makes her 'about to cry' face. Normally, if babies made that face, Kenna would be laughing and doing everything to stop the wails.

Now? Now, she just watches her daughter kicking her feet and arms in slight distress.

The baby isn't in any danger, she just wants to be held by someone. Ever since she was born, she was in the comfort of people's arms and when she nodded off, they'd put her down.

"What person would you be, Perrine?" Kenna asks quietly. "I hope to God, not like me or your father... We may have redeeming features, but you and your brother are so innocent."

Turning around, she sits on her bed and waits for Leslie to return. By then, her daughter's whimpers have ceased and she's relieved.

As Leslie returns, Kenna almost launches herself at her. She takes the medication and swallows them with the water Leslie hands her.

"I've set up a group meeting with some of the other mothers with their babies. You can take Perrine and get to know them. You're all going through the same situation, and you can talk about anything and everything," Leslie tells her. "Zara and Katie will tell you more tomorrow morning. Zara will have your itinerary for the day too."

"Thank you. Goodnight, Leslie," Kenna says, watching the woman take Perrine from the crib and head over to the door. "You have the pumped milk, right?"

"Yep," Leslie replies, giving her a small smile.

"And her teddy? My partner got that for her, she can't sleep without that," Kenna says to her, getting up to collect the grey teddy.

Leslie takes the teddy. "Can't believe I almost forgot that. Lucky you remembered!"

Kenna nods. "And her blanket?" She asks, seeing that her daughter is already wrapped in the blanket Diane made for her. "Oh, she has that."

"Do you want a little bit longer? It's only ten to eleven," Leslie suggests. "I don't mind."

Kenna shakes her head, crossing her arms so no one passes her daughter onto her.

"Goodnight, Leslie," she replies.

"Okay," Leslie whispers, finally leaving.

Later, Kenna stays up, staring at the ceiling. Her mind doesn't quieten and she digs her nails into her palms.

_Has she been fed? What about Adrien... It's his holidays, now. We promised to take him to Disney World,_ she thinks. _He probably hates me..._

She turns, burrowing her face into the pillow as tears leak from her eyes. That night, she cries herself to sleep.

...

Five days later on Sunday, Bash bites his lips when the cab stops in front of the Beatons' gates. He quickly pays the driver and gets out of the cab, helping Adrien out too and getting their belongings.

"I'll take my Spiderman bag, thank you!" Adrien tells him, grabbing his backpack and putting it on his back. He waves at the driver, making the man smile brightly before he drives off.

Bash chuckles, pressing the buzzer on the intercom.

_"Beaton residence,"_ Alexander's voice calls out in an overly posh 'French' accent.

"I'm insulted, Alexander," Bash replies, grinning a little. "Can you let us in?"

_"I'll let my nephew in and you can stay out there since you were insulted,"_ Alexander replies just as the gates start to open. _"Come on in then."_

It takes a while to walk up the driveway as Adrien's legs are little and he is defiant in not being treated like a baby. It makes Bash amused as the boy starts to pant heavily when they reach the open front doors.

"Want some water, kiddo?" Douglas asks him, coming out to greet them.

Adrien nods. "Yes, please!"

He accepts the bottle and drinks from it desperately as they enter the cool house.

"We have the air conditioning on," Douglas explains, closing the doors behind them. "Are you ready to see Kenna?"

As Adrien runs off to greet his Aunt Paisley and Uncle Lockie, Bash turns to Douglas and says, "I don't know."

"How come?"

"It's Adrien. It's hard on him and I've got to be strong for him. I wasn't even sure I wanted him to see her in this state," Bash replies as they head into the kitchen where Alexander is with their parents. "Hi."

Joanna is the first to look up and smile. "Hi, Sebastian. How was the train ride?"

"It was good. We left quite early so Adrien might want a nap soon," he tells them. "Have you seen Kenna since...?"

"No," Robert replies. "She more or less kicked us out. We've been speaking on the phone a little."

Bash nods and takes a seat at the table, accepting a drink from Alexander. He sips it and places the cup down, clearing his throat.

"How does she seem?" He asks.

Joanna shrugs. "Alright. She's met other mothers and their babies. She's attending her sessions. I'm sure she'll tell you more about it when you see her."

"Maybe, I'll stay and one of you should go," Bash says. "I wouldn't want to do anything to affect her progress."

Robert turns to him in surprise. "Bash, they have family therapy. I think it would be best if you both went."

"A few days ago, my brother and I took the boys out to some piece of wildlife land Mary's brother owns," Bash starts. "All my son could think about as we spent time with my brother and his sons was if his mother loved him or not and if she left because of him."

"Exactly. More of a reason to go," Alex says gently. "You need this just as much as Kenna and Adrien do."

"You won't regret it," Douglas tells him. "After all, every little helps."

"Okay," Bash says, nodding. "I'll go."

"Good lad," Robert praises him. "Now, let's get some food down you and Adrien before you go."

...

"How are you feeling today, Kenna? I hear your partner and son are coming to visit you," Leslie asks, entering after Kenna tells her to.

Kenna pauses, finishing feeding Perrine and doing her bra and top. "Anxious," she mumbles. "Scared. I-I don't want my son to see me like this, he's already scared of me."

"I'm sure that isn't true," Leslie says optimistically. "I'll take you the quiet room so you can spend time as a family. Would you mind if the family therapist observes?"

"Y-Yeah, sure. Might be a bit uncomfortable for Adrien, he's shy," Kenna informs her, getting up from the bed. "Can they give us ten minutes first? It's been a while since I saw them and..."

Leslie gives her a nod. "Of course. Martina or Zara might stop in to make sure you're okay."

"Okay," Kenna replies quietly, following her to the quiet room.

It's quite big, three sofas and two armchairs in a deep wine purple colour. The walls are red, almost burgundy and soothing. There are toys in the corner as well as drawing and painting tools.

A crib is also there and Kenna settles Perrine in it as the baby starts to nod off. She turns to Leslie with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Leslie. I know I've been off, but you put up with me. Everyone seems to just grin and bear it around me, at least you're kind of honest," she tells the woman.

Leslie laughs. "I am honest when it comes to mothers and their babies. They need to recover for all sorts of reasons. Tell me, Kenna, what are you working towards?"

Kenna believes she's not really working towards anything at the moment. That's she's been stubborn and quiet, but she has a goal.

"My partner and I are getting remarried," she says.

"Remarried?" Leslie repeats.

Kenna nods. "We used to be married and a lot of things happened, resulting in us separating and eventual divorce. Before we split, we conceived Perrine. We were apart, but we got back together."

"Was she the reason you got back together?"

Kenna shrugs. "A little. We love each other, our marriage wasn't the best of marriages, Leslie. I can't go into it, you'd need to watch five ten-hour movies."

Leslie laughs, nodding. "Okay. So, you're getting remarried. Personal choice or what?"

"We're trying. We're going to make an effort. I mean, I was really young when I met him and fell in love with him. We both knew we would be endgame material, no matter who we were with after we met," Kenna tells her, blushing. "We're making steps, baby steps towards being happy and honest and complete with each other."

"That's good. A really good goal," Leslie says. "I'll leave you now."

As Kenna waits, she heads to the little kitchen area and makes two cups of tea. She prepares the first one to Bash's liking and then hers with milk and two sugars. She even makes some orange juice for Adrien.

Adrien.

She's excited to see him. It feels like forever and it kills her every time they're apart. Her darling boy.

The idea of Adrien brings a smile to her face until she hears a familiar cry. Sighing, she leaves the kitchenette and brings Perrine to her chest, shushing her and humming a French song.

"That's it... Shh," she says after Perrine's cries die down.

The door opens and Leslie gives her a wide smile, letting Adrien and Bash inside. She turns to Kenna.

"If you need me, you have my pager. I'm sure you'll be fine," Leslie tells her. "As promised, you have ten minutes, but I managed to get you five extra minutes."

Kenna's eyes meet Bash's as she nods. "Thanks, Leslie."

"No worries," Leslie replies, leaving and closing the door behind her.

"Hi," Kenna says, lifting an arm so Adrien could hug her legs. She places a loving hand on his head. "Hey, my petit fleur!"

Adrien squeezes her legs happily. "Hi, Mama. Hi Perrine!"

Kneeling so she could see his face, she asks, "Do you want to paint something for Perrine?"

He nods. "Yes, please."

"Okay, in that corner, everything is set up. Mama and Papa need to talk for a bit, okay?" She tells him, kissing his head.

"Okay," he replies, grinning as he runs off to the activity table.

She stands, turning to Bash. "I've made us some tea."

He doesn't say anything, just goes to the kitchenette and picks up his tea, taking a desperate sip from it.

Joining him, she rocks Perrine in her arms. "How have you been, Bash?"

"I should be asking you that," he replies, strained.

"Can you look at me?" She asks softly, running a hand through his hair. When he does, she smiles a little. "I've missed you, mon amour."

He brings her hand to his lips. "I've missed you, too. I... I'm finding it hard, Kenna. I'm seeing someone too and Adrien's upset all the time."

"I know, I'm sorry," Kenna tells him with a soft sigh. "This is all my fault. You were already not doing too good and now... I've gone and made myself ill."

"You didn't make yourself ill, Kenna," he replies. "It wasn't your fault."

"It is," Kenna whispers. "Have you looked into our son's eyes? I saw them and all I could read is that he needed me home. I've hurt our son ever since we separated the first time."

"If you have any fault, then I have fault too," Bash says. "I was the one being unreasonable. I mean, our kid was still in school. How could I do that?"

She kisses him, sighing when he responds just as eagerly. Tears stream down her cheeks and she pulls away, handing their daughter to him.

She smiles when she watches him kiss Perrine's head and whisper to her in French. Although she understands his words, she lets him have that moment before two people will observe them.

"How's your therapy going?" He asks her.

Her smile disappears. "Yeah, it's alright. Good days and bad, you know?"

Mostly bad.

"Kenna," Bash says in a disappointing tone. "I know what that means, your smile even left your face. Have you been speaking to them?"

"No," she admits quietly. "I don't know how to, the words don't come out at all."

Bash squeezes her hand. "Okay, I'll admit, I was the same too. On the fourth day, the guy had me singing like a canary."

"Bash, I never like therapy. Probably should have because they put me on drugs, for God's sake," she replies. "I just... I feel like they're judging me, alright?"

"For what?"

She shrugs shyly. "I don't know. I can't sleep, I can't shut off at all. I'm eating now, they're getting me to though. I'm going to try the gym next week. I'll probably hang out with some of the mothers, but I can't talk. I hear so many stories and I can't be arsed to even join in or react."

"What will help, Kenna?"

"You, maybe? You can make me sing like a canary," she says lightly. "I have a session after this."

"I'll be there," he replies, kissing her. "What about Adrien?"

"Leslie will take care of him. The session lasts an hour," she tells him.

He smiles when Perrine wakes up and yawns, her eyes staring up at him in recognition.

"Hello, Princess," he says. "She's grown a lot."

Kenna chuckles softly. "Yeah, she's still hungry as a caterpillar. I've got her on the bottle. I kind of sleep alone and have Leslie tend to her during the nights."

"You do need all the rest you can get," Bash agrees. "Have you bonded?"

"I don't know," she says, wincing as she says that. She says that _a lot_. "I mean, I love her, I do. It's difficult."

"Okay, let's leave it at that," he tells her. "Shall we sit down?"

She nods, taking their teas and placing it on the coffee table as he sits down on one of the sofas. She invites Adrien to join them for the last seven minutes of their private time.

"This Christmas, where do you want to go, Adrien?" Kenna asks her son, kissing his head. "Anywhere you want."

Adrien looks up at his parents, looking between them with a cheeky grin on his face. "I want to see Mickey Mouse again!"

"Okay," Bash says. "We can go to Florida. I'll sort out Perrine's passport."

"That's a plan!" Kenna grins.

After their private time is over, they continue as they were and sometimes, Adrien would be questioned by Martina who studies both Bash and Kenna tending to Perrine as they change her nappy, feed her, burp her and the like.

The family therapist even gets involved after thirty minutes of observing the family. She talks to Adrien for forty minutes, his parents are surprised by his eloquent replies and patience. He'd normally be running off to do something else rather than sit down for a long period of time.

When he's done, he's crying and he immediately goes to Kenna, snuggling into her side. Her heart breaks as she whispers comforting words into his ear.

"I love you so much, baby," she whispers. "None of this is your fault or your sister's." She turns to Bash, mouthing, "Every day?"

"Yeah," he replies, confirming that Adrien's fears arise every day. He and Francis had even sat down and spoken for a while before the blonde checked on his nephew to make sure he was alright.

"Do you want to return to your painting?" Kenna asks him, kissing his cheeks.

He sniffles, wiping his nose and tears. "Yes, please." He says something under his breath in French and it makes her smile.

"I love you too, baby boy," she replies, watching as he heads off.

She holds a normal conversation with Bash, asking how their holiday is going so far. She learns that they went to do archery and swam in the lake of some estate building James 'Jim' Stuart owned a few hours drive away from home.

After five hours of spending time with her family, Kenna feels more optimistic. She still feels nervous, anxious and unhappy, but as Alexander arrives to pick up Adrien for Bash, a smile graces her lips.

"Thanks for coming to take him. He was falling asleep, poor boy."

"Well, the train journey took ages," Alex replies, kissing his sister's cheek. "I'm going back to work in two days. I'll try and stop by tomorrow."

Kenna waves it off. "Take your time. I'll be fine."

Alexander nods, patting Bash's back and leaving with Adrien on his hip after his parents bid him 'goodbye'.

Perrine is taken off their hands by Leslie and the two of them make their way to Zara's room.

At the door, Kenna stops Bash with, "I literally stay silent for these sessions. She says when I'm ready, but I might be with you there."

"I'm not pushing you to do anything you don't want to, you do know that?" Bash asks her, cupping her cheek. "I'm here for you. If you want me to speak, I'll speak. If you want me to shut up, I'll be silent as a mouse. If you want me to stop breathing-"

"Okay, I get it," she says, chuckling softly. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?" He retorts.

"I don't know," she whispers.

Bash nods. "That's fine. As I said, this is all on your terms."

Bringing him in for a kiss, she tries to bring him closer, but the door opens and she springs apart from him.

Zara stands there in slight surprise before stepping aside to let them through. She gives them a bright smile when they sit together.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't observe you today," she tells Kenna. "Martina passed on everything to me that she felt was necessary with your permission, of course."

"Yeah," Kenna says quietly.

Zara nods in affirmation. "Would you like to introduce us?"

Kenna clears her throat and says, "Sebastian, this is Dr Zara Ripley, my perinatal psychiatrist. Zara this is my fiancé and father of my children, Bash."

Bash shakes her hand and leans back into his seat, watching as Zara turns to Kenna once again.

"Right, the timer has started," Zara announces, starting her watch. "What are we focusing on today?"


	22. Chapter 22

"I-I..." Kenna is stunned for words. "Wow, I don't think I've ever spoken much in these sessions or any for that matter."

Zara smiles encouragingly. "Do you think having Sebastian here will help?"

"Yeah," Kenna replies, turning to Bash and then Zara again. "Is that okay?"

"We normally encourage these situations. Things mothers are able to tell their partners or family members, they aren't normally willing to tell them to their psychiatrist," Zara replies, writing things down. "Is it possible for him to attend as many he can?"

Bash nods. "I can move some things around," he says, winking at Kenna when she realises he literally has nothing to do. "We'll stay in Scotland a bit longer, that's fine."

Kenna grins happily at the thought of seeing her family more. "Thank you," she tells them both. "I'm sorry, Zara. I'm not the easiest person to let things out. I'm quite private, I keep things in and try to solve them myself."

"That's perfectly fine," Zara informs her. "Now, we have a better understanding of how you became unwell. It's still early days, but I think we can prepare another care plan - one you'll use when you return home."

Bash kisses Kenna's hand, pride in his eyes when she looks down, blushing. Their smiles never leave their faces when they go to a quiet room after her session.

She cuddles into his side, inhaling his scent wistfully. "I don't want this to end. I'm scared that when tomorrow comes, my mood won't be as favourable anymore."

"That's fine, Kenna," Bash replies. "I'm here whenever you need me and so are your parents and your siblings. Even Mary and Francis are booking their flight tickets to come with the kids. Mary puts it down to visit her mother, but we all know you're the reason."

He nudges her shoulder lightly making her giggle and she turns to him.

"Yes, we're having an affair behind yours and Francis's back," she teases him, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "Sometimes I feel guilty for never letting her know about when we were teenagers. I know she'll blame herself for not being too attentive, but she had her own life."

"I think that's just it," Bash replies. "Knowing someone since you were literally born, having your lives entwined for many years... you're bound to want to have secrets."

"Mary told me all of hers and I kept my darkest one from her," Kenna says sadly. "We practically called each other's homes our 'second homes'. I'd call Aunt Marie, 'Mama Marie' sometimes and the same went for my mother with Mary. Even when we were separated, I still blamed Mary for you loving her and her not feeling the same. She has always been my number one cheerleader, support system, _best friend_ and I threw it back in her face in jealousy and petty feelings."

Bash plants a kiss to the side of her head and whispers into her ear, "Despite all the wrongs you've both done to each other, your love still grows and it's eternal. Francis and I... we might come and go, but you and Mary have a friendship too special, it puts all the other friendships to shame. Mary will understand, let her support you."

Kenna replies with a nod, turning so their lips met. When they pull apart she says, "I'm trying to find my faith again. Every time I go to pray or I try to do anything, I fail. Today, I feel at ease. Like I can do anything and the first thing I want to do is find my faith once more. When I come home, I want to have Perrine christened as planned and I want to get remarried."

"I hear a silent 'but'," Bash says softly.

"I want to abstain from sex. Until we get married. I mean, it was predominantly an issue in our marriage and even after, I just want to prove to myself that I can do better. That I can _be_ better. A better person, mother, wife, Catholic..." She trails off with a soft sigh.

"That seems reasonable," he says, much to her surprise. "I understand and as much as it will pain me having a beautiful woman beside me at night and not being able to touch her, it makes it worthwhile. The wait, I mean."

She nods, beaming. "Like we're being together for the first time," she says, smiling. "I remember you saying that making love to me was like the first time, every time."

"Magical."

"Yeah?" She breathes out.

"Amazing."

She giggles. "I know."

"Spectacular."

Placing a finger on his lips to silence him, she says to him, "Thank you, Bash. For choosing me despite my..."

"I can tell you one thing that makes you different from Mary," he tells her, kissing her finger before she takes it away from his lips. "You're real. You're the kind of person to be 'what you see, is what you get'. With Mary, the more I got to know her, the more I found things I didn't like. Back then, I was willing to let them slide, but now... I wonder why I would put myself through that - Francis is better suited for her. And I'm better with you."

Kenna kisses him. "Yeah? Even with my deep, dark secret?"

"Especially with your _deep, dark secret_," he replies, teasingly. "Because your deep, dark secret is the same as mine."

She checks the clock on the wall with a sad sigh. "You better get ready to go back."

"Can I say 'goodbye' to Perrine first?" He asks, getting up.

"Of course," she replies, accepting his help to get off the sofa. "I'll try, Bash. I have to get better for our family."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she brings his face down to kiss him. She feels fireworks, sparks and joy whenever their lips met and a part of her wants to leave this place and follow him home.

She misses his touch, his scent, _everything_ about him. She doesn't want the moment to end, but it has to and they pull apart, Bash placing one last kiss on her lips.

"Come on, then," she whispers breathlessly.

...

That night, Kenna takes her diary out and writes 'Sunday 19th July' on the page.

She looks up and sees the empty crib. Sighing, her eyes flick back down to the page and she writes that Perrine is now exactly seven weeks old. She also writes about Bash and Adrien's visit and promises to return very soon.

When she finishes writing three full pages, she closes her diary and slips it under the pillow. Lying down, she closes her eyes and breathes out heavily.

"God? If You're listening, I want to thank You," she says softly, almost a whisper. "I know I haven't been the best of people, but I can count on You. Today, I felt at ease... Bash helped, a lot... Zara, she's alright too. I'm getting better, the days vary. I'm scared, but with the strength, I get from You and my friends and family, this won't break me. I'll get better for my family. Look after them whilst I'm gone and continue to aid them during this tough moment of our lives..." She repeats a verse from Psalm before finishing her prayer and opening her eyes. "Amen."

She remains up. She feels very tired, but she can't help not sleeping just yet.

After a while, Kenna reaches for her pager and presses the button. Soon, she hears a knock on the door and she gets out of bed to answer it.

"Leslie, sorry for disturbing you," she tells the woman nervously.

"No problem, at all! I was about to go home - my shift's ended," Leslie tells her, leaning against the door jamb. "How can I help?"

Kenna shifts, crossing her arms. "Is it okay if I have Perrine with me for tonight? I feel like I can handle her now. Maybe not, but I feel liberated a bit and I'd like to utilise that."

Leslie beams, nodding. "Alright, I'll go get her for you. Will you be needing her bottle or..."

"I'll be breastfeeding. Might get some expressed milk out," Kenna says. "Can I have the play mat as well? I've been reading up on things and I got some information from Martina before I headed to bed."

"Of course!" Leslie replies. "I won't be long."

True to her word, the woman brings over the play mat as her colleague puts Perrine in Kenna's arms.

"If you need anything, I'm Charlotte," the other nurse says. "I've been getting to know your little one when Leslie's not on the night shift. Wonderful, she is."

Kenna blushes, giving her a polite smile as Leslie sorts out the play mat in the middle of the bedroom.

"Thank you, Leslie and Charlotte," Kenna tells them when they finally leave.

Looking down at her daughter, she smiles softly when Perrine makes her 'hungry' face.

"Just in time, eh?" Kenna mumbles, pulling her pyjama top down.

As Perrine feeds, Kenna reads her Bible. She's glad her mother slipped it into her things before she came here.

"Let's see," Kenna says, glancing towards Perrine briefly. "Which one shall I read? Genesis? Would you like to know how God created the world? It's your brother's favourite. Or... Psalms. There a lot of meaningful things in Psalms..."

When Perrine finishes feeding, Kenna burps her. She gently places the baby onto the play mat and turns on the musical toys.

She wishes it was the one Diane got because it has French tunes, but this one is still nice. It draws Perrine's attention as the baby reaches upwards to grab a toy.

It's out of her reach though and Kenna watches on, pride and joy in her eyes.

She still feels a negative emotion, but at that moment she pushes it down as far as she can to just spend some much needed time with her daughter.

"Perrine Aveline Mckenzie..." Kenna sings, receiving a coo in reply. Smiling she repeats, "Perrine Aveline Mckenzie?"

A coo is given in reply and Kenna stares intently into Perrine's eyes. Sometimes those eyes make Kenna jealous. Her children's eye colours favour their father's and not her chocolate browns.

"You love your name, don't you?" Kenna asks softly. "I remember feeling you kick when your daddy and I decided on it."

Reaching behind her, Kenna grabs Perrine's stuffed teddy and puts it inside Perrine's open hand. She smiles when the baby immediately clutches it tightly.

"You're a strong one, aren't you?" Kenna beams, kissing her daughter's head.

For the rest of the night, Kenna tends to Perrine with a smile on her face.

Come morning, the smile leaves her face and she feels empty again. However, she'll cherish the night she had with her daughter and hopes that one day, she'll be able to explain to her precious gift exactly what happened and how much she adores her still.

...

The next day, Kenna visits the gym with Perrine in her arms. She sees other mothers already in there, talking, laughing and some just tending to their babies as they chat with other mothers.

Chantelle is there, speaking with a few mothers as she shows them how to care for their babies.

Heading to the back of the room by a treadmill and a crib, Kenna eyes all the friendly faces, sending small smiles back.

She is later joined by a young mother, probably in her late teens. She is surprised to find out how old the mother really is.

"Sixteen?" Kenna breathes out, shaking her hand. "Wow. When I was sixteen, I was going through guys as if they were items on a shopping list! Oh, and getting drunk."

Jenna laughs, nodding. "My parents weren't too happy to find out I got pregnant at fifteen," she replies. "I've been here for three months. My birthday was last week."

"Do you mind if I ask-"

"Why I kept my baby?" Jenna cuts her off knowingly. "I know I'm not as old as the other mothers here and it's not surprising to see how I got post-natal depression, but... my son's my life now. I've matured quicker than I wanted and I don't regret it."

Kenna blushes a little, putting her hair up. "Sorry for asking."

"Not at all!" Jenna says, smiling happily. "What's she called?"

Turning back to the crib where Perrine is awake, Kenna turns back to her new friend. "Perrine Aveline."

"Ah, that's sweet. My baby's called 'Joshua'. Like from the Bible," Jenna replies.

"Oh, you're religious?" Kenna asks curiously.

Jenna nods proudly. "I'm a Christian. Might not seem so with the whole sex before marriage, but I am. At least I'm working towards being a better Christian. Hence, my parents were deeply disappointed in me."

"I'm Catholic," Kenna informs her. "We're on the same boat. Well, my parents believe I'm an adult so..."

They giggle, getting on to the treadmills and turning them on. They both start on a light walk. Soon, they're jogging in sync much to Kenna's surprise.

"Are you married?" Jenna asks her, panting a bit.

"Kind of," Kenna replies. "We're working on it."

Jenna nods. "Ah. Complicated, eh?"

"You're sixteen, what do you know about complicated?" Kenna asks her, teasingly. "Hey, our names are kind of the same. Mine is with a 'K' and yours is with a 'J'."

"Huh, such is life. What fate," Jenna replies, grinning. "Have you got other kids?"

Kenna turns to her. "A son. He's six," she says. "He's with my kind of husband."

"Same dad for your son and daughter?"

"Yep. We met when I was your age, actually," Kenna tells her. "I was drunk and we... we danced. Didn't see him until six years later at my best friend's wedding to his brother."

"High school sweethearts kind of thing?"

Kenna shakes her head. "Nah. He was nineteen when we met. He's French. He studied in England during his younger years but went to university in France. We lived there for most of our son's life."

"Interesting," Jenna says. "An older guy, eh?"

"The age difference doesn't matter now, obviously," Kenna says, grinning.

"Do you speak other languages? You sound English to me," Jenna drawls out in her Scottish accent.

Kenna smiles softly. "I was born here in Scotland."

"Really?"

"Yep. Raised in England, though. I speak French since I was a baby - my godmother taught me because she's half-French. Served its purpose when I ended up marrying a Frenchman," Kenna tells her. "I know a bit of Gaelic, don't really use that do we?"

"English, Gaelic and French," Jenna tries out. "Wow."

Kenna chuckles, panting slightly when she increases the speed. "I can also speak Spanish, Swedish, German, Italian and Latin."

"Jesus, leave some for the rest of us!" Jenna jests. "That's amazing. I can barely speak English. I was learning German at school."

"Do you go to school?"

Jenna frowns. "I get homeschooled. Tutored since I got bullied."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Kenna tells her, genuinely saddened. "Hey, I'm starting to feel winded. I ought to be careful, can we stop?"

Jenna nods and they turn the treadmills off, fanning themselves to get some cool air onto their skin.

"C-Section," Kenna explains, blowing out a breath of relief. "Might need painkillers soon."

"Ooh, was it bad?" Jenna asks, wincing.

Kenna falters, swallowing deeply as she changed the subject with, "Where's Joshua?"

"With my nursery nurse, Jada," Jenna replies. "She's cool."

Kenna beams. "Mine's pretty cool too. Want to talk for a bit?"

They talk for hours, even collecting Joshua from his nursery nurse so that he could get to know Perrine.

"I've never had a sister figure before," Jenna tells her, cutting into Kenna's thoughts. "It's nice. Thanks."

"Any time," Kenna replies, nudging her shoulder lightly. "I've got a little sister and three best friends who are practically all sister figures... A lot of oestrogen in my life, but I love it."

Jenna laughs, bopping her son's nose. "How does it feel? Breastfeeding?"

Kenna raises her eyebrows. "You've not tried it?"

"Think it's too late now, but I might with my second. _If_ I have a second int he future. Anyway, how does it feel?"

"Really _connecting_, I guess. I feel a special bond to Perrine when I look down at her and watch her drink," Kenna says. "It's like _I'm_ the one she needs to survive."

Jenna blinks. "Wow. That's deep. Lunch is soon, want to sit with me?"

"Go on, then," Kenna tells her, getting up and gesturing to the door. "Let me change Perrine's nappy first."

...

"Oh, Bash!" Kenna breathes out the next day. "She's really cool. Like a cool younger sister, cool."

"I feel insulted for your actual younger sister," Bash replies, smiling at her as he plays with her locks.

Hitting him, she blushes. "I felt off yesterday, but she cheered me up. She's a laugh and Joshua's adorable with his big brown eyes! She's a Christian, too."

"I'm glad you're making friends," Bash says. "How are your sessions? Sorry, I couldn't come yesterday, Mary and Francis made it with the kids and then the kids saw Adrien and... well, your mother's vase and window in the kitchen broke."

Kenna tuts. "Ah... Whose fault was it?"

"Adrien's. And Anne's. Your mum didn't mind, but I sent him upstairs and Anne was forced to be by Mary's side all night until they went to Marie's house," Bash explains. "Adrien hasn't been acting out per se... He's adjusting."

"_Adjusting_?" Kenna repeats dubiously. "Say it as it is, he's acting out, Bash."

"I don't know, Kenna. Your mum said it was okay, that kids go through this phase," Bash replies. "Well, the other day we went to the park and he saw some of his friends from school. Next thing I know, one's on the ground crying and Adrien has the most guilty look on his face."

Kenna's eyes widen. "Sebastian!" She cries out. "And you didn't let me know yesterday so I could speak to him?"

"I already dealt with it, Kenna," Bash tells her.

"I'm his mother, Bash. I can still discipline my own kid."

"He's not only yours," Bash snaps. "I think I've got it covered. This is why I didn't tell you."

She shifts so she's not leaning into him anymore. "I'd like to be informed of my son's wellbeing, Bash," she says angrily. "Like when you waited hours to let me know about Adrien falling out of a tree!"

"Okay," he simply says, crossing his arms.

"It's like every time he's with you, there's always something or another. You need to take good care of our son, do you understand me? Protect him, Bash, and teach him right from wrong," she tells him.

"I'm sorry. I should have let you speak to him," Bash replies, taking one of her hands. "I just thought you didn't need to worry about all of that. You need to focus on yourself, Kenna."

She sighs, rubbing her face with her free hand as she says, "He's my son. I'll always want to worry about him regardless of the situation we find ourselves in. Then, maybe I'll be able to focus on myself. Knowing my family are okay."

"He's okay, I promise. If I need help, we have both of our families in reach," he says. "Come on, let's change the subject. How are your sessions?"

Retrieving her hand from his, she leans back on the sofa. "They're okay. Zara and I are working towards my goals."

"Goals?"

"I've set some goals up yesterday over dinner. I want to exercise more, pray more, spend time with Perrine more... Not only goals like that but things to do in my therapy sessions. Martina, the child psychologist - you met her - she's also set me a few goals in regards to Perrine. I'm getting there, Bash. It's still early days, though."

They're distracted when they hear the soft whimpers of their daughter, coming from the cot.

Remaining seated, Kenna watches as Bash stands up to go and get her and place her on his chest.

"I feel like, every time I see her, she's getting huge. She was a tiny little thing, smaller than Adrien," Bash tells her as he sits down.

"Yeah," Kenna breathes out. "I can't believe she's just over seven weeks old now. She'll be ready for her jabs soon. _I'm_ not ready for that."

"Can I be there?"

She nods. "Of course. I'll text you the appointment," she replies, sighing. "Hey, when did Mary and Francis say they'll stop by today? Perrine Aveline and I have got Baby Massage today. Oh, and I've started scrapbooking every little bit of her special moments! Like I did for Adrien's. Can you ask your mum to send that over so I can show my family?"

Bash blinks. "My mind shut down after the first question," he says, grinning when she hits him. "They said around five or six. Baby massage? Seems interesting. Scrapbooking? Hmm, not my thing, but I hope you enjoy that - you do have a creative spirit inside you. And yes, I'll ask my mother to post it over."

"Do I talk a lot?"

"You ask a lot of things in one breath," he replies. "I can't keep up sometimes."

"Oh, do I?"

"You know you do, don't you?" He retorts teasingly.

Genuinely surprised, she shrugs. "I don't know. My mind is a thousand miles ahead of my mouth at times. I think it's a coping mechanism."

"Whatever helps, right?"

"Hmm." She hums, her nose cringing at a particular, familiar smell. "Your turn."

Bash chuckles, taking a sniff of their daughter's nappy before coughing and bringing the baby away from his face.

"I think she did a number two," he says. "Do you want to do it together?"

"_When_ have you ever helped me change a nappy? Even with Adrien?" She asks, getting up to look for a fresh nappy, wipes, nappy bag and some Sudocrem.

"A few times," he replies, receiving a glare. "Okay, not that many. Hey, you shouldn't even be adding Adrien to that because we had a nanny in France."

She smiles bashfully. "Okay... But I've been doing most of hers," she says, gesturing for him to join her at the changing table.

When he does, he lays Perrine down gently and undoes her babygro.

"Need help?" Kenna asks him, leaning against the wall.

"I think I remember," he replies, undoing the nappy as he gags. "What are you feeding her?"

"Just breastmilk," Kenna tells him. "She eats a lot."

She watches as he sorts out the unpleasantness, pausing at times to make sure he's got it all cleaned up. Then, he disposes of the dirty nappy and puts a fresh one, leaving Kenna to put the cream onto Perrine's bottom.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Kenna asks, turning to Bash. "It's nearly time for you to go."

"Are you sure you don't want me at your therapy session today?" He asks.

She nods. "Hmm, yeah. Tomorrow though."

"I'll be there," Bash says, placing a kiss on her lips before she can do anything else. "If I annoyed you, I'm sorry and I'll work on that."

"No, it's okay..." Kenna sighs, realising that it's not only her who needs to deal with their demons. "Hey, are you attending AA meetings?"

Bash replies with a nod, picking Perrine up and holding her. "Yeah. I've not touched a drop since Lola's wedding. I've gone off the taste."

"Not even a glass of wine? Your favourite?" She asks.

"No," he says. "Might leave the drinking for special occasions."

"Okay," she says softly. "Just don't leave this vice for another. My brother keeps his smoking addiction a secret, but I know."

Bash smiles a little. "I know now," he tells her. "Which one?"

"The one you'd least expect," she replies, heading to the door. "Come on. I'll have her with me during my session."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so," she breathes out. "I'll tell you everything tomorrow."

He gives her a kiss to her forehead before following her to her therapy session. As they walk in silence, Kenna hopes that instead of breaking them, this will all be worth it.

...

"I can't believe you're both here," Kenna says that evening, grinning when she sees Francis pulling faces at Perrine. "She's starting to recognise people."

Francis looks up, his blue eyes lighting up. "Well, does she recognise me, her favourite uncle?"

"Don't let my brothers hear you say that," she teases, turning to Mary as Perrine gains her uncle's attention again. "Bash told me that Adrien's been acting out."

Mary waves it off, shrugging. "It was an accident. Mama Joanna wasn't even upset. She said she and your father needed new windows anyway. _Triple_ glazing, she told me."

"Not only that," Kenna tells her. "What about that little incident with his friend at the park?"

"Kenna," Francis calls her name, looking up to see her. "Adrien just doesn't know how to deal with things right now. Once you're home, all of this will stop. He's a really good kid, you don't have to worry about anything."

Kenna purses her lips, rolling her eyes. "And is Bash as expected? Is he looking after Adrien properly?"

"Kenna, I'm not a spy on your behalf," Francis tells her, shaking his head. "Bash is my brother. He's getting by and he's a good dad."

"I'm not disputing his ability to be a father," Kenna replies. "He keeps things from me. Things I really need to know. He forgets that I singlehandedly brought up Adrien during our marriage whilst he left for weeks on end with no word as to how he was. I didn't bring random women to our home as our child slept a few doors down. He may act like 'Father of the Year' now, but he wasn't always so golden."

Mary shifts uncomfortably on her seat, giving Kenna a disappointed look. "You have to admit, he's trying."

"You're on _his_ side?" Kenna asks, raising an eyebrow.

"There _are_ no sides!" Mary cries out. "If there were, you know I've got your back."

Kenna rubs her face. "I'm just annoyed that he doesn't trust me enough to know stuff about my own kids anymore. I love him, but he drives me mad. Just make sure he's taking good care of my little boy. I'm already gutted that I'm missing all this time with him, I know I'm not the best mother. I'm all he's got, though and I'd lay my life for him and Perrine Aveline. I pray that I get through this quickly so I can be the mother they deserve. It's hard, but I will get there."

"What more can Bash do to prove things to you?" Francis asks her, giving his niece to Mary so he could fully divert his attention to Kenna. "He's stopped drinking, he's attending both therapy and AA meetings... What else Kenna?"

"I don't know," she whispers. "Please, just to put my mind at rest?"

"Okay," Francis agrees. "But if it ends up badly..."

"I know," Kenna mumbles. "Thank you."

Francis nods. "Yeah."


	23. Chapter 23

"So," Bash starts as he picks his salad apart. "Are you staying in Scotland for the whole of the holidays?"

Francis nods. "Yep. Marie complains that she barely sees the kids, it's a win-win situation. She sees the kids and Mary and I can enjoy free childcare," he replies. "And we save money by staying with her."

"Yep, that's great," Bash says dismissively. "How was Kenna?"

"She was good, yeah," Francis tells him. "She talked about what she's doing. Baby Massage? What's that?"

Bash smiles a little. "I don't even know." He sighs. "So, she's okay? No worries or troubles that she doesn't want me to know?"

Francis freezes, quickly stuffing a piece of chicken into his mouth as he shrugs. As he chews, he feels his brother's suspicious gaze on him. He curses Bash for being able to read him like a book.

"She's worried about Adrien, that's all," he finally says, swallowing. "Hey, when are you going to stop being vegan? Marie is planning an awesome BBQ party that everyone's been invited to."

"I've been vegan my whole life, Francis. I can't just start eating non-vegan stuff off the bat," Bash replies, shaking his head when he realises what his brother has done. "Don't change the subject. She doesn't trust me."

"You don't trust her," Francis retorts. "I'm not taking anyone's side, but if I had to... I'd obviously choose you. You have to admit, you're using this as an excuse to be the better parent."

"How?" Bash asks, scoffing. "So I planned the mother of my children to become ill so I can be a better dad to my kid? Francis, I don't know if anyone has forgotten what I did for two and a half months early this year!"

Francis rubs his face, inwardly cursing as he says, "I didn't mean that. You keep a lot of things from Kenna that she, as a mother, needs to know. Mothers are really territorial and us fathers, we're just there to support them. Let's put it this way..."

He grabs a sheet of paper and draws a circle in the centre of it. Pointing at it, he writes 'Adrien' in the middle of it. He then draws another circle that intersects the first one, like a Venn diagram. He writes 'Kenna' inside that.

"This is Adrien and Kenna's relationship. Over the years he's been alive, Kenna has dedicated herself into bringing him up and protecting him like a lioness, right?" Francis says, drawing a much smaller circle - about three times smaller than the first two.

He writes 'Bash' in that circle and connects it to Adrien's circle. Placing a thoughtful finger on his lip, he thinks about what he says next.

"Okay. Now, this circle represents you and your effort over the six years..." Francis says, tapping the smaller circle. "You did raise him, yes. But then you kind of abandoned him?"

"You drew circles to show how shit I am as a father?" Bash asks, turning to his brother incredulously.

Francis winces. "Not saying you're shit per se. Just... Wait, let me let you in on something."

"Okay?" Bash replies, unsure.

"When Kenna started seeing Antoine and we took Adrien to Lego Land, that night he snuck into our bed."

Bash frowns. "Why?"

"Because he was scared, Bash," Francis replies sadly. "Anne has never done that, she's so independent. But Adrien? I didn't even realise until I woke up the next morning and Mary had to explain why we had your kid in our bed."

"Why was he scared?" Bash asks quietly.

"The day he and Kenna left France, Bash. He saw everything, Bash. he saw _everything_. Every little spat you both had, he saw it or heard it and he started getting nightmares, sleeping in our bed or Kenna's... Kenna told me he wet the bed when they lived with us before getting the house. I get where Kenna is coming from and I get where you are coming from too. You want to make up for all of those years, but don't exclude Kenna in the process."

Bash gets up and throws the rest of his food in the food bin before putting his plate and fork in the dishwasher.

"Bash, don't shoot the messenger," Francis calls out to him.

Bash sighs, returning to the table. "I'm just like Dad," he tells Francis. "Everything, from alcohol to the affairs... I'm _exactly_ like him."

"You're not," Francis says firmly. "You're getting better. Dad... Dad was complicated and I don't know how one could go about explaining the disaster that was him. I'm just glad that I know you at least."

"I was scared of him and my son was scared of me. Maybe, that's because..."

"Because of what?" Francis whispers. "You're not ill, not like he was. He was paranoid, Bash. We couldn't have done anything to help him. He's in a better place."

"We haven't really talked about this have we?" Bash whispers back. "About what him dying means to us?"

Francis looks down. "No, we haven't."

"He was good towards you, though? And everyone else? Before all of this went to shit," Bash asks. "I was always an outsider, I knew my place. I didn't mind getting hurt as long as you were protected. You, Charles, Claude, Henrietta, Emone, Little Henri... all of you, I had to do what I did for you."

"No one can ever know what happened, Bash," Francis tells him. "And yes, he was good once. Losing his mind changed things. That's in the past now and we can't change what's happened. At least you sought help. He didn't."

"But Kenna is right. I can't even trust myself," Bash replies. "Even when I've sought help. I mean, I can't even discipline my own kid in fears he'd hate me."

Francis smiles a little. "Mary's not afraid to be the stricter parent. You need to balance the role, share it out. Kenna's used to it and you aren't. Bash, parenting isn't the easiest thing in the world, but once you get the hang of it... it will get easier. More so when she comes home and we're all praying for her. And you and the kids. Forget about Dad and focus on being a better version of yourself. For you, Kenna and the kids."

They look up when Joanna walks in with her handbag and blazer. She gives them a smile which they return.

"Oh, hello lads," she says, placing her things on top of the counter. "I've just got back from work."

"It's only half twelve in the afternoon," Francis states, checking his watch.

Joanna gives him a wink. "When you're your own boss, you can make your end of shift times as you go. I was thinking about popping in to see Kenna. Anyone up for my offer?"

"I'm good, thanks," Bash says.

"Didn't Kenna want you to be there at her therapy session?" Francis asks him, nudging his shoulder. "Oh, don't be mad because she was a little worried."

"I'm not mad, Francis," Bash replies with a sigh. "Just tired, okay?"

Joanna frowns but turns away to fill her cup with water. She pauses when she sees Bash fold his hands and rest his chin on his joined hands. She doesn't know what to make of him - she promised her daughter that she'd make an effort to accept him.

Fake smiles and tolerance weren't going to be enough though.

"You can have a nap on the way. We need to talk," she tells her kind of son-in-law. "I'll be down in twenty."

She downs her glass and washes her cup before heading upstairs with her coat and bag to change.

In the car, thirty minutes later, Bash and Joanna put their seatbelts on and she starts their journey to visit Kenna.

"Your father, he wasn't a good man," Joanna starts off saying. "He hurt my daughter, but before he hurt her... he hurt you and your family."

Bash turns to her. "I don't like talking about my past if it's not to my therapist."

Joanna's lips quirk upwards. "Don't we all?" She makes a right. "Everyone is trying and we are all here to support you and Kenna. Only if you accept our help though. I can tell you're very private. Before you and Kenna got married, she and I were very close and she used to tell me most things. I knew she kept some stuff from me and told her brothers, but she and I were still close. Afterwards, she became withdrawn and quiet and we weren't close anymore. Kenna used to tell everyone about herself, even with the depression. Now? She can't even pick up the phone and tell me how she is without crying or hanging up."

"What are you saying? That I destroyed your daughter's life?" Bash asks her, raising an unamused eyebrow.

"Don't get defensive," Joanna tells him, keeping her eyes on the road. "I'm just saying that in order to get through this difficult time, you need help. You can't keep things in. Leading to looking after Adrien."

"You were eavesdropping?"

Joanna briefly turns to him. "It's my house, I can't eavesdrop even if I wanted to."

"Okay. What's _your_ advice?" He asks her.

She nods. "Let Kenna feel involved. It's already hard for her, being apart from Adrien. You're making things worse by thinking you can fix everything and leave the easy stuff for her. She's dealt with the hard and easy stuff."

"Yeah," he breathes out, staring out his window. "I know."

...

_Five Years Ago_

Kenna shook her head in disapproval as she watched the nanny try and calm Adrien down.

It became unbearable, his cries, and she demanded that the nanny give him to her.

"Haven't you dealt with a teething baby before?" She snapped, hushing her baby against her chest.

"I'm so sorry, Madame Poitiers," the nanny said, wringing her hands. "I am used to older children. It is my first time handling a baby."

Kenna raised her eyebrows. "Well, I'm sorry to say, but you're dismissed. My husband will pay you the rest of your pay for the six months you were meant to care for our son. Expect a cheque in the post."

As a house employee showed the woman out, Kenna headed upstairs to her bedroom. She cringed when Adrien's cries became louder and she entered the room, heading to her handbag on the bed.

"Okay, Adi... Mama's got you," she told her son as she searched for a particular item inside her bag.

Alas, she found the teething ring and gave it to Adrien. It put him off for a few minutes until his cries returned.

"Do you want to see Papa?" She asked him. "Let's go and see Papa!"

Heading back downstairs, she went to meet Bash in his office. He was in the middle of an important call, raising a finger before she even spoke.

He winced when Adrien's cries sounded in his spare ear and he told the person on the line to hold on.

"Kenna, what? I'm kind of busy and you've brought a screaming baby to disturb my important call," he said, holding the line. "Is it important?"

"Can you hold him for a minute?" She asked, frowning a bit. "He just wants you to hold him."

Bash rolled his eyes, gesturing for her to hand him over. Relieved, she handed him over and Adrien immediately quietened down and stared intently at his father.

"Want to learn some business, Little Man?" He asked Adrien, smiling when the baby nodded as if he understood a word he said. "Okay. Papa's answering a call and you have to be _really_ quiet to understand how he gets things done."

Continuing his call, Kenna leant against the wall with a wide smile on her face as Bash blushed, tightening his hold on Adrien when the baby tried getting off his lap.

When he was finished, he hung up and glanced at his wife. "You were right."

"I always am," she quipped. "Care to take over? I had to let the nanny go."

"Kenna! That's the sixth one in three months!" Bash cried out, shaking his head in disbelief. "At this rate, we'll go bankrupt paying nannies off because of your intolerance for them!"

Kenna glared at him. "We haven't found a suitable one for Adrien. He doesn't like them and it's not my fault! At this point, if it's not one of the help or your mother tending to him, it's me. I can't work and care for Adrien at the same time, my hours are increasing!"

"Have you tried to help a nanny get the swing of things?" Bash asked, his patience thinning.

"Of course, I have! This one said she was used to older children and not babies. That wasn't my fault she's incompetent!" Kenna replied.

"How much do I owe her for the rest of her contract? I've forgotten how long she's lasted," Bash said, leaning his head back in frustration.

"Six months."

"_Six_ months? He's not the Dauphin of France, Kenna! Do we really need nannies for that long? Why do you expect me to pay for your every whim?"

"Finding adequate care for our son is not a whim, Sebastian!" She snapped, crossing her arms. "Do you even care about our son's infanthood?"

"Why can't you look after him again?"

Her eyes widened in horror. "I've been looking after him since he was born! I've been feeding him, petting him to sleep and playing with him... Sure, I haven't changed most of his nappies because of my nails, but still! I'm the one up at night tending to him as you sleep your full seven hours, you arse."

"Fine. _I'll_ find a nanny. I'm sure my father and Catherine can point us in the direction of one that ticks all of your boxes," he told her.

"Thank you," she replied, rolling her eyes. "You irritate me sometimes, do you know that?"

"You do the same," he said, a smile gracing his lips. "You drive me crazy too. Come on, take him because he's starting to believe I can feed him milk."

Kenna giggled, going over and collecting their son from his arms. "Bash?"

"Yes?"

"We are okay, aren't we?" She fearfully asked, running her free hand through his brown locks.

He looked up at her, his hands on her hips. "Of course, babe. Why wouldn't we be?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. You... We haven't... _you know_, in a while. Do you not find me attractive or anything anymore? I've lost the baby weight. I can finally fit in that lingerie set that you like on me. Is it me? It might be me..."

"No, no... Kenna, I've just been stressed with work, okay? It's not you at all, it's me. I'm happy you've spoken out about this because..."

"'Because' what?" She asked shyly.

Bash smirked. "I've booked a trip for us out of the country. To Singapore. It's Margaret's wedding and she wants us there... I didn't want to go, but Francis convinced us. Mary won't be able to leave the boys, he'll be alone and-"

"I'll take what I've got," Kenna said, kissing him. "Wow, she's younger than I was when we got married. Twenty-one? Jesus, Bash."

"If she's certain, she's certain," Bash replied. "Francis and I will be there to threaten her man if needs be although I'll do so just for fun."

Kenna giggled happily, kissing him again. "Don't you dare! Right, let me get this one fed and ready for his nap."

"It's his nap so soon?"

"Not 'so soon', right on time," she replied, about to leave. "Why?"

Bash shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back in his seat. "Then I'd like you in that lingerie set as soon as possible, Kenna."

Eyes wide, she turned to look at her son's doe eyes. "Let's get you fed and petted to sleep quickly, eh? Mama and Papa need some time with each other."

Sending her husband one last wink, she turned around and left. She couldn't contain the relief and excitement in her body as she complimented the chef when she entered the kitchen and headed to the fridge-freezer.

By the time she was ready, she waited for three hours before she put her robe on and went to investigate what was taking him so long. Adrien had already woken up and was playing with his toys under Diane's gaze.

"Bash?" Kenna called out, peeking into his office. She sighed when she saw that he was on another call, this time he was speaking with Henry.

"I understand, yes. I'll get right on it. I'm not busy at all," Bash said, giving her an apologetic look.

If it wasn't Mary who came calling, it was his father. Francis knew better than to ask for her husband's help multiple times, but it still bothered her.

Enticing her husband, she slipped her robe off and crossed her arms as she entered the room.

Bash quickly looked away and she smirked. At least she still had that effect on him.

"You will have the files filled and sent through email within the hour," Bash continued. "I'll also have the flight booked after and I'll see you this night."

Ending the call, she gave him an incredulous look.

"How long?"

"Three weeks in Spain," Bash replied, shrugging. "I'll make it up to you."

"And Adrien?" She asked angrily. "You know what? Don't bother. Funny thing is before you put a ring on it, you used to spend every single day with me. What changed, Bash?"

Without bothering to listen to his answer, she left and picked her robe up, putting it back on.

On a list of his priorities, she was sure she didn't even make top ten.

...

_Present Day_

"I wasn't around much as Adrien grew up," Bash tells his ex/future mother-in-law. "I'd leave for weeks on end and she'd be stuck looking after Adrien alone. I wasn't... I wasn't faithful during my trips away. My father needing me was a good excuse to leave and try to fill the void in my heart. I thought that once Kenna and I were married, I'd come to love her as much as I loved Mary. A year and a half in, I... I didn't and my wife just became sex. I've lost count of the women I've been with during my marriage."

Joanna takes it all in as she stays silent, continuing their journey after the red light turned orange and then green. His words shocked her, but she couldn't react just yet.

As much as she wanted to slap him for being so flippant about the vows he made before God and their friends and family, she had to remind herself that he was better now. That didn't mean she'd let him walk all over her daughter again.

"You barely know me and next, I'm your therapist," she says lightly after ten minutes of silence.

Bash turns to her in surprise, nodding. "People say I should talk more. I'm sorry you weren't happy with me marrying Kenna. In hindsight, we should have waited longer or not get together in the first place."

"Do you think waiting longer would have helped?" She asks.

"Maybe. I love her now with every inch of my heart, and sometimes I think I should have waited a few good years until I finally realised how much I valued her. I had a hand in her depression and she... I should have been a better husband," he tells her. "None of those women, not even Mary ever made me as content and happy as I was with Kenna. She was the only one to fill the void, yet that wasn't enough for me back then. I'm sorry, Joanna."

"If not for who your father was, I may have liked you. We're nearly there," she replies, deciding to end the conversation there for now.

As Joanna spends time with Perrine in one of the quiet rooms, Kenna attends her therapy session with Bash.

They sit on their own seats, Kenna not even paying mind to him and she and Zara converse.

At the end of the session, Zara tells her, "You're doing really well, Kenna. Still early days, but you may leave here sooner than you think. I even believe it's possible to leave the MBU for a night or two."

"I-I don't think I'm ready for that," Kenna says, briefly eyeing Bash.

Zara gives her an encouraging smile. "I know you're frightened. You have many people there to support you. And we need to gradually help you leave the ward so you can get used to being at home."

"Urm... My best friend _is_ around and it would be lovely to see the kids..." Kenna says quietly. "Yeah. What do you think, Bash?"

Bash turns to her, nodding a bit. "Yeah, that's great."

But their eyes say it all. If she comes home, they'll be thrown into the deep end and the arguments will start.

"Then let's sign off the paperwork, eh?" Zara says, beaming.

...

"We came as soon as we heard," Mary tells Kenna, hugging her tightly. "You know what this means, right?"

"What?" Kenna asks, laughing as her arms wrap around Mary's waist.

Watching their partners, Mary smirks a little when she says, "We can continue our not-so-secret affair! No, I'm joking - you can come to my mother's BBQ party tomorrow!"

Kenna giggles. "Okay. It's been ages since I saw your mum. Where are the kids?"

"With her. We would have brought them, but we didn't want to overwhelm you..."

As Mary and Kenna continue their conversation, Francis leads Bash outside into the garden, both of them sitting at the patio area.

Francis slips a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and retrieves his lighter, offering Bash one.

Bash raises an eyebrow. "I've not smoked in four years."

"I can see how much you're stressed out," Francis replies, taking one out, putting it in his mouth and lighting it. "Mary hates it. I've tried stopping, but I slip sometimes. I never do it around the kids."

"Remember those Cuban cigars that Dad used to get imported from his mate in Spain?" Bash asks him, taking the cigarette from his brother's lips and taking a draw from it. He then returns it as Francis nods.

"When you visited, twelve years ago, he and Mum went out and you took one out of the box and lit it up. You almost choked yourself to death!" Francis laughs.

Bash grins. "Dad didn't even bother doing anything about it. He wasn't even upset, he just asked how it was. Maybe that's why I started smoking. It's not good for us."

Francis shrugs. "I know," he says, taking a draw. "I shouldn't be encouraging you, you've just stopped drinking."

"Not completely, I'm no saint. Just for special occasions."

Francis turns to him. "I might have a special occasion coming up soon."

Bash smiles a little turning to face his younger brother. "What?"

"Mary and I... we're expecting again. We found out yesterday after we saw Kenna," Francis says. "I've done this three times before, but I'm scared."

Bash's face wears a look of surprise before he takes the cigarette and takes a long draw. "I get you. This is your fourth kid, Francis. You're not even thirty yet and here I am, thirty-one and I've been frightened since I had my first kid. Congratulations, I'm happy for you both."

"Bash, I'm sorry."

"About what?" Bash replies. "It's not me who can't have any more kids, it's Kenna."

Francis sighs, nodding. "And you're choosing her for life. That means, if you have other kids, they won't be hers. Not that I'm saying that you'll split up or cheat on her again or anything."

"I get what you mean," Bash tells him quietly. "So, how far along is Mary?"

"Four weeks," Francis replies, blowing a puff of smoke out. "Another brunette or blonde kid, running about and messing the house up."

"Lovely." Bash chuckles.

"Speaking of kids... Where's Adrien?"

Bash waves it off. "Lachlan and Paisley took him to watch a movie and then, they went to the park and he doesn't want to come back now. He's having so much fun, I don't want to rain on his parade, it's his holiday."

"Well, if you're not busy... Mr Beaton told me that we could test drive some of their cars..." Francis trails off, turning to face his brother with a grin. "I heard they got Lachlan a Bugatti."

"What twenty-one-year-old needs a Bugatti?" Bash asks as they stand up from their seats.

"A twenty-one-year-old who has billionaires as parents. You shouldn't even complain, I remember your eighteenth birthday gift with the custom black matte and camo interior!" Francis replies, putting his cigarette out in the ashtray on the table.

"Can we never bring that up? Thank you."

Upstairs, Kenna and Mary laid in Kenna's bed, talking. Kenna knew that Mary had something to say, but she was struggling.

"Mary, tell me what's on your mind."

Jumping, Mary turns to her in alarm. "Oh, nothing-"

"It's _me_."

"Exactly," Mary mumbles sadly. "It's _you_."

Frowning, Kenna asks her, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know what I have to say will upset you," Mary responds with a sad sigh. "I don't mean to hurt you..."

"Mary, you're scaring me."

"I'm pregnant, Kenna," Mary breathes out, eyeing her friend worriedly.

At first, Kenna is too stunned to speak, but a smile graces her lips and she brings Mary into her side for a tight hug. She even strokes her friend's hair for good measure.

"Oh my, God! Congratulations, Mary! You and Francis must be so excited to give John, James and Anne another sibling. Maybe, this time you'll have another girl. Anne needs a sister for sure."

Mary looks up at her in wonder. "You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset that my beautiful best friend is having another baby? You and Francis always wanted a big family, you're getting one," Kenna replies easily.

"But... so did you," Mary says, tears clogging up her throat. "And you won't get that and I'll probably get pregnant again and-"

"Mary, we've both been through heartbreaking miscarriages and had beautiful rainbow babies after," Kenna starts off saying. "You're blessed, I'm not upset anymore. I've come to terms with what happened. It hurts and I'll never forget it. The hysterectomy... I understand what happened and why. I can't change it and go back in time. I'm getting better and I'm making an effort with Perrine Aveline... Speaking of making an effort, Bash and I are planning to get remarried."

Mary shoots up from her side. "Really?!" She squeals.

"Shh!" Kenna presses her hand over Mary's mouth. "We've not told anyone, but the therapists. I'm not so sure right now with how we are."

Taking the hand away from her mouth, Mary replies, "This is just a small blip. That doesn't mean everything's ruined. Hey, we can start planning the wedding. Do you want an Autumn wedding or a Winter wedding? Or you could have a Spring one like you had the first time."

"Mary, I don't even know how long I'm going to be at the ward for!" Kenna laughs. "We do want to get married as soon as possible, but we might not live together permanently just yet. We're still working on a lot of things."

"Okay. Well, I hope things get better," Mary replies, beaming.

Kenna hugs her again. "Same here. Oh, I still can't believe you're pregnant! Perrine is barely eight weeks old and here you are, expecting another baby!"

"I'm about four weeks," Mary informs her. "I'm so happy. It's been four years since we had Anne and... We haven't even told the kids, yet. I'm hoping to tell John first, he'll be so excited. Just like he was when we had James and Anne. Oh, Kenna!"

Hugging her best friend tightly, Kenna's smile falls from her face and she sighs, burying her face in Mary's shoulder as the other woman laughs happily.

...

On Saturday 22nd August, Kenna is discharged from the MBU at two in the afternoon.

After signing all that she needs to and saying goodbye to the staff and other mothers, she heads outside holding Perrine in her car seat. She looks down at her eleven weeks and six-day-old baby with a bright smile on her face.

"We're going home, baby girl," she whispers, brushing her daughter's cheek. She looks up and smiles when she sees Mary, Lola and Greer all waiting for her.

She understands Mary's presence sort-of, but Lola and Greer's presences confuse her as she walks up to them.

"Wh-what are you lovely ladies doing here?" She asks them. "I thought Bash was picking me up?"

"He and Francis had an emergency to attend to," Mary replies, helping Kenna with her handbag as Greer takes Perrine and Lola takes their suitcases.

Kenna frowns. "Oh, I was hoping to see him," she says, waving her hand dismissively. "How are you all? Mary, nearly eight weeks gone!"

"I know, I can't believe it," Mary says, blushing.

Kenna giggles, turning to Lola. "Lola... How was the long honeymoon?"

"Wonderful except for the time when I got a sunburn. Stephane won't let me live it down and he was the one who kept persisting that I put on sun lotion," Lola bemoans, rolling her eyes. "I'll let him win that argument, but any others nuh-uh."

Kenna gives her an approving nod. "Exactly, put them in their place. At home, you're the boss." She turns to Greer. "How are the one hundred and one kids doing?"

"They're great," Greer replies, nudging her shoulder. "Right, let's get these in the boot and Perrine strapped up. You're lucky we used my car, I've got that cool car seat ejector thingy. Don't ask, it was Aloysius's idea."

"Why are you guys here anyway?" Kenna asks once they're on the road.

"In order to apologise for not being here, Francis and Bash booked us a spa morning and hair appointments," Mary tells her, turning around in the passenger seat to look at her. "I'm not complaining. I'll need all the relaxation and pampering I can get before I have this baby."

Kenna grins and turns to Lola. "And you and Greer?"

"My parents were hosting my youngest sister's birthday so we were in Scotland. I managed to convince Aloysius and the kids to come to visit my extended family," Greer says. "I picked up Lola along the way so she could see John and her family."

"Well, we can enjoy the rest of the holidays together, now I'm..." She takes a deep breath in and releases it. "Now I'm better."

Lola reaches over and squeezes her hand. "How _are_ you feeling, Kenna?"

Kenna shrugs a little. "I'm great. Happier than I have been in a long time and I feel nothing but hope and happiness, especially when I look into my baby girl's eyes. I still cry, I'm an emotional wreck, but I think I'm ready to come home and face it all. I can't avoid my life forever."

"And do you? Want to live or do you still have those dark thoughts?" Mary asks her quiet as Greer looks at her from the rearview mirror.

Kenna gives them all a pointed look. "All I'm saying is that I get good days and I get bad days. I haven't felt depressed since I got with Bash the first time after we got engaged, married and messed things up. Let's just say, I'm getting by."

Getting to the spa just out of town, Mary walks over to the reception before them to retrieve their appointment badges.

"Appointment for four under the name _Valois_. We also have a baby with us," Mary tells the woman behind the desk as she checks her phone with a small smile.

"Of course, just through the door on your right, Mrs Valois. Everything has been prepared to ensure that you all get the best treatment, the Bri-"

"Thank you very much!" Mary quickly cuts her off, taking their badges and leading them through the door.

Kenna frowns, eyeing the beaming receptionist as they walk by her. Something strange was going on.

The women only spend two hours at the spa before going to the hairdressers for their hair appointments.

Mary stands up when the hairdresser is halfway done with her hair. "I've just got to pop next door for the cash machine," she tells her friends, grabbing her purse from her handbag and leaving.

After washing Kenna's hair, the hairdresser allows her to take a quick break to feed Perrine. She had put all her breast milk packs in a cooler bag which was in the car and they were frozen. She wasn't about to waste precious feeding time getting into the car and unfreezing the milk.

She uses Perrine's blanket to cover herself as the baby feeds and the hairdresser asks her questions.

"I'm thinking about getting my caramel highlights retouched," she says, thinking she might as well get her money's worth. Or Bash's money's worth.

"Yes, caramel highlights are just stunning on lighter shades of brown," the hairdresser agrees, playing with Kenna's hair a bit to see what she can do.

Greer looks up from her magazine. "Oh, and give her a trim."

"Greer!" Kenna cries out.

"Oh, come on. You'd look so beautiful, Bash would want to jump your bones the minute he sees you," Greer tells her, smirking.

Kenna blushes furiously. "You and we all know that we're performing abstinence."

"Abstinence my arse," Greer replies, rolling her eyes playfully.

"Do you know how long I've been growing out my hair for?" Kenna squeaks out. "No!"

Greer gives her a look. "Remember when your mum had breast cancer and you cut your hair in support when we were twelve? Then, you donated the money you raised _and_ the hair into making wigs for children going through cancer."

The hairdresser gasps in awe. "You're such a great person! Come on, your girlfriend is right. Who knows? Tonight might be the night you and hubby stop abstaining?" She winks and Kenna catches it through the mirror in front of them.

Relenting with a deep blush and no denials over Bash's title in her life, Kenna says, "Fine. Just under my chin, okay then?"

"I know _exactly_ what to do!" The hairdresser gushes.

Mary returns a short while later, feeling winded as she sits back down and says, "Cash machine was broken so I had to leg it to the one across the road. Running and being pregnant is not a good idea."

Two and a half hours later at just past half six in the evening, they make it back to Kenna's family home where she turns to her friends in gratitude.

"This morning was amazing. I doubt Bash would have taken me himself," she tells them. "A great welcome home anyone could ever ask for. Thank you."

"One last thing," Mary says to her as she closes the front doors behind them. "You might want to go upstairs to your bedroom."

Intrigued and feeling slightly giddy, Kenna heads upstairs as Perrine remains in Lola's arms, the three women watching Kenna go up.

Opening her bedroom door, Kenna spots two boxes on her bed. She takes nervous steps towards the white boxes that have lilac bows wrapped around them.

Kenna opens the smaller box and it reveals a pair of white Saffiano textured patent leather pumps from Prada.

She sighs softly, wondering why Bash was buying her gifts again. She knew that they have been off these past weeks, but she didn't need any gifts in apology.

She decides to open the bigger box and that's where her tears clog her throat up as she stares at the dress.

The dress is ivory white in colour and she realises that it's a wedding dress. The whole day has been preparing her for a _wedding_.

Shakily, she fingers the dress and picks it up to see it in its full length and she almost stumbles at how long the train is. It has to be at least 10ft long in length! From the information tag, it is!

The bodice is seethrough with intricate flowering covering up the breasts as it's exposed in the middle. The rest of the dress is seethrough and there are high waisted, white bikini-styled shorts to protect her modesty as well (1). It's very bohemian, very _her_.

A knock distracts her and she allows her tears to fall as she gently places the dress on the bed.

"C-Come in," she calls out, her voice breaking.

Her friends enter her room and she wonders exactly how long she took staring at the items on her bed. They're dressed in strapless, lilac bohemian style dresses, Swarovski jewellery bands on their upper arms and earrings, with smiles on their faces.

"You're really oblivious," Greer teases her. "We've been dropping hints all day!"

Kenna places a hand on her chest. "I feel sick," she whispers, much to their alarm. "I-I wasn't expecting this _at all_. I'm-I'm a mess!"

"Bash would still marry you a million times over," Lola tells her, being the first to walk over to her and sit her by the vanity table.

Kenna stares intently at herself in the mirror and she raises her eyebrows at how beautifully natural she looks. Her hair is shorter, wavier, the caramel highlights glistening in the evening sunlight.

The bags that normally plague the underneaths of her eyes are no longer present, her cheeks healthier and fuller. Blushing furiously, she starts sobbing.

"Oh, Kenna!" Mary coos, she and Greer joining them. "What's wrong?"

"I...I don't understand," Kenna says softly. "I thought we'd at least wait a few weeks or so. What if everything goes to shit again? I can't handle that. I've only just got my life back on track."

Lola kneels down, bringing Kenna's hands in hers as she replies, "Well, as far as Bash is concerned, you're his forever. If you think this was a surprise, just wait until you go downstairs and into the garden. For the past month, he's been planning this wedding to how you'd like it. The first time, he planned it but he barely knew you then. Now, it's like all your childhood dreams coming true."

"She's right," Greer adds. "I'm jealous and I'm sure my wedding cost more. Come on, let's get your makeup done."

Wiping her tears, Kenna nods and starts giggling when Mary retrieves non-alcoholic 'champagne' from thin air.

"We need to have a toast!" She tells them, getting the flutes ready. "Urgh, I hate the fact that I've been pregnant at both of your weddings, Kenna. Can't a woman just enjoy some alcohol on her best friend's wedding day?"

As she watches her friends become engrossed on the drink, Kenna smiles to herself. These women have been with her during her best and worst moments. She feels guilty for not getting them gifts.

An hour later, she views herself in front of the full-length mirror. She's shocked at how her dress fits her perfectly, from top to bottom despite her not being measured lately. She's definitely gained a size up from what she used to be with eating better and her diet changes. Greer jokes that she's still thinner than her at least.

"It's time," Greer informs her, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Kenna nods, giving her daughter a kiss to the cheek as she is carried by Paisley. Bash even invited his half-siblings from both sides and Claude retouches her lipstick as thirteen-year-olds Henrietta and Emone smooth out their junior bridesmaid dresses.

Everything about this wedding is vastly different than her first wedding. From the venue to the Bridal Party, down to the dress. Her first dress, although expensive as well, was simple and had a one-metre train. It lacked detail and she had a simple pure white cape to finish it off.

Getting off the stool, Kenna heads outside of her room and takes her father's arm as her bridesmaids and daughter follow after.

Her heart beats loudly in her ears as they descend down the stairs and her eyes meet her mother's and Diane's. They both give her smiles and she easily returns it, her breathing uneven as they reach the bottom step.

"Let's take a moment, eh?" Her father asks, barely above a whisper in her ear.

She nods quickly and they excuse themselves for a moment, heading out the front doors as Greer and Lola struggle to pick up her trail after them.

It's a funny sight and Kenna would laugh if not for the incoming panic attack that arises from her chest.

"No, Dad... I can't," she gasps out, almost stumbling over in her heels as she holds onto his hand for support. "I can't marry Bash."

Calmly, Robert cups his daughter's cheeks and stares into her eyes. She can see her own eyes through the reflection of his glasses and right then, she doesn't even recognise herself.

"Kenna," her father says softly as Greer and Lola return inside to give them privacy. "Seven years ago, I tried begging you not to accept his proposal. Then, a week later, I begged you not to marry him. Back then, I didn't see a man who loved my daughter. I saw my daughter losing herself for a man who wasn't worth the ground she walked on. Every father wants his daughters to be happy, but not at the expense of something real."

"And now?" She whispers fearfully. "Wh-What do you think?"

Robert briefly looks up at the front doors where he is certain everyone is waiting expectantly for them to return through them. He then looks back at Kenna.

"A month. One month it took your mother and me to get to know Sebastian a lot more than we did when you first got together. He planned every bit of today and I was taken back at how much he knew about you. He barely knew you as a teenager, but everything is perfect down to the flowers, the music and cake," her father tells her, swallowing deeply. "But today is not an example of why you and he should be together. You gave him many chances to walk out when you got ill and he never took them. He stuck by you, attended your therapy sessions with you... He even followed us to Church and became quick friends with the priests and other people we knew. He's making an effort, Kenna. Even I can't deny that, no matter how much I still have my reservations about him. Maybe, all of this was a wake-up call and now, you both know what's true."

"I should marry him?"

Robert tilts his head. "You should do what makes _you_ happy. People learn from their mistakes, you did harshly and now... you're a mother of two beautiful children and you're recovering smoothly. Regardless of what happens in the future, you have me, your mother and siblings for life. If you want this, go for it. If you don't, it's not too late and he'll understand."

She straightens up and takes a deep breath in, closing her eyes. Counting to ten, she releases the breath and stares into her father's hazel eyes.

"I'm ready," she says quietly, fixing her flower crown on her head. It's made of white roses and she likes the finish with the lace as vines. It makes her feel like a girl again, free and young. Happy and spirited.

She heads inside first, her father carrying her train and she notices that everyone except her bridesmaids and daughter has gone outside into the garden.

"Are we doing this or what?" Kenna asks the women as Lola gives her a bouquet of dyed purple roses.

Heading outside through the kitchen, Kenna sees that her parents' garden has been transformed into a fairytale scene. There are hanging lights, mason jars full of pretty flowers or candles, rose petals leading to the lower part of the gardens by the lake...

She places a shocked hand over her mouth as her arm with the hand carrying the bouquet remains linked with her father's arm. She looks around, taking it all in.

"Never thought our garden could turn out better than what your mother had planned for it," her father mumbles into her ear as they walk under a rose wrapped archway making her smile.

Soon, she stands at the end of a white aisle, her eyes on her fiancé's back. She sees Francis turn to her, smile and whisper something in Bash's ear which makes the man visibly relax.

The string-quartet starts to play a beautiful melody and Kenna's eyes water when she realises it's her favourite song. She feels a familiar hand squeeze her shoulder comfortingly.

Stepping to the side a bit, Mary starts the succession with Perrine gurgling in her arms. Henrietta and Emone follow with Claude keeping them in line, discreetly shifting them back into the middle when they go off course for fun. Lola goes next, then Paisley and finally, Greer - all women with bright smiles on their faces.

"Alright, it's almost time for the main attraction," her father tells her, giving her a warm smile as they watch the kids get ready to walk down the aisle. "This feels right. _Better_. _This_ is how it should have gone, with me walking my princess down the aisle. I'm glad we're there now."

"You'll make me cry," Kenna says, her voice breaking as she fans her face. "I'm not ready to cry just yet. I didn't put on waterproof mascara."

"Okay," her father says flusteredly. "I'll wait until the speeches, darling."

Anne goes next, happily skipping down the aisle as she flings flower petals from her small basket over everyone. Her parents and everyone laugh and she giggles, singing to herself.

Adrien goes next. He's nervous, but he has John and James flanking his sides as he holds the rings on a pillow, gripped by his two small hands. He receives awes from everyone and he blushes, almost shying into John's protective side.

Deciding to take one for the team, John takes the pillow and holds Adrien's hand, leading his cousin and brother the remaining distance until they reach their fathers.

"Good job, Little Man!" Kenna hears Bash praise their son.

The music changes and another song familiar to Kenna plays. It was the song she sang to Bash when they first met.

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," she chants to herself quietly much to her father's amusement.

Placing a bright smile on her face, they start to walk down the aisle, her heart loud in her ears. She feels everyone's gaze on her, from her childhood friends and family to Bash's side and his family.

She even sees Louise and Francesca give her small smiles as they stand along with everyone, watching her walk down. She knows Bash is trying to right the wrongs and get to know his family better. It's healthier for him, for her and their family.

Finally, she passes their mothers, even Catherine. She even notices that Aylee's parents are there, Xander and Agnes giving her approving smiles. It has been years since she saw them, probably at her first wedding shortly before Aylee died.

"Nearly there, my sweetheart," her father tells her, squeezing her hand.

She hums in reply as they pass the groomsmen and Francis. Bash had chosen Francis as his Best Man and Stephane, Aloysius, Douglas and Alexander as his groomsmen. Unsure of roles for Henri and Charles, he made them junior groomsmen so they could be paired with Henrietta and Emone.

When they reach the front, Kenna just can't meet Bash's eyes as she leans over to her father, kissing his cheek. Robert returns the gesture as he collects her bouquet and hands it over to Paisley.

He whispers into her ear, "Be happy, Mckenna. It's all I want for you." He leans back, squeezing her hand one last time before going over to sit down beside his wife on the bride's side. She notices that everyone else takes their seats except the Bridal Party.

Before she looks into his eyes, she takes him in. He's wearing a navy blue suit with a white button up, the first three buttons are open and his chest is exposed. Perfect for a summer wedding. There's a single white rose on his lapel, held by a custom pin.

Finally, her chocolate brown eyes meet Bash's sea greens and at that moment, her fears leave her body. She hasn't seen him all day and all she can think about is pressing her lips against his and holding him tight.

But she wills herself to calm down and turn to smile at the Priest. She can still feel his gaze on her and she quickly reaches for his hands, her grip tight and true.

"Dearly beloved," the Priest starts, gaining Bash's attention. "You have come together so that in the presence of the Church's minister, your friends and family your intention to enter into marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal."

Kenna keeps her eyes on the Priest, her smile widening as she feels Bash circle the top skin on her hands with his thumbs. She tells that he's nervous, she is very much so too.

The Priest continues, "Christ abundantly blesses the love that binds you. Through a special Sacrament, he enriches and strengthens those he has already consecrated by Holy Baptism, that they may be faithful to each other forever and assume all the responsibilities of married life. And so, in the presence of the Church's representatives and God, I ask you to state your intentions."

Kenna feels her hands grow cold as she and Bash turn slightly to fully face the Priest. She folds her hands, left over right, just over her stomach as her smile softens.

"Sebastian and Mckenna, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?" The Priest asks, looking between them.

"I have," the couple says.

"Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?"

"I am," the couple says.

The Priest nods and continues with, "Are you prepared to bring your children up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

"I am."

"Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God," The Priests tells them, watching as Kenna shakily places her right hand in Bash's right hand, neither of them facing each other, but him.

The Priest allows a small smile to grace his features as the couple finally face each other and he remains quiet.

Bash resists the urge to brush her hair from her eyes, settling for squeezing her hand and letting her know that it's her. It will always be her. Now, forever, always.

He swallows deeply before he says, "I, Sebastian, take you, Mckenna," he starts, grinning when she cringes at her full name for what has to be the millionth time today. "To be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honour you all the days of my life."

Kenna blushes furiously as she responds with, "I, Mckenna, take you, Sebastian, to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honour you all the days of my life." Her voice breaks when she gets to the last bit and she mentally curses herself for almost losing it. She does _not_ want to look like a panda just yet.

The Priest continues, "May the Lord in his kindness strengthen the consent you have declared before Him and your friends and family and graciously bring to fulfilment His blessings within you. What God has joined, let no one put asunder. May the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob, the God who joined together our first parents in paradise, strength and bless in Christ the consent you have declared before the Church, so that what God joins together, no one may put asunder."

As the Priest continues on, Kenna reflects back on her relationship with Bash. From the moment he cockily knew she'd accept his offer to dinner to the moment she accepted his sweet proposal nine months after they properly met.

_"I can't believe you're mine."_ She hears his voice echo in her mind.

And her reply, _"And you're mine forever."_

"May I have the rings, please?" The Priest asks.

All eyes on him, including his parents', Adrien nervously walks up between the couple and more or less shoves the pillow into the Priest's face. The Priest gives him an amused smile, taking the Sterling silver bands that match with amethyst stones from the pillow.

Adrien then makes his way back to his cousins and Francis, receiving a 'well done' from Francis. He even grins when Kenna gives him a proud wink.

Raising the rings in his hand, the Priest announces, "Bless and sanctify your servants in their love, O Lord, and let these rings, a sign of their faithfulness, remind them of their love for one another. Through Christ our Lord."

"Amen," everyone says.

Taking the smaller ring from the Priest's hand, Bash slips it onto Kenna's ring finger, above her first ring that he'd got from his grandmother as her only grandson.

...

_Sebastian, Aged 15_

"Sebastian!" Bash heard his grandmother call him, gesturing for him to come to her by the back doors. "I need to talk to you, boy."

Nervously, Bash left his horse and walked up to meet her. He allowed her to shuffle him inside, rubbing his arms down for warmth.

"I don't know why your mother allows you to ride that beast in this weather!" She cried out in French. The woman couldn't speak English, but she did understand a few words.

They both sat down in the formal living room and his grandmother gestured to all around them as she spoke to him in her common tongue.

"All around us, you can see the hardship of your ancestors in building a home fit for royalty. We weren't born into wealth, my child. As each generation arose, we'd add bits and bits to our home. This home will one day belong to you. As my only grandson, everything I have will be yours."

"But why, Meme?" Bash asked her, a frown playing on his lips. "I don't need it."

Anastasia laughed. "Oh, but you will. You will marry a beautiful woman, have children with her and live happily ever after."

"I won't ever get married. I won't ever have children, either," Bash said defiantly. "I know exactly what I want to do and want to be."

"And what is that?"

"I want to ride my horses and be free. I'll live in the wild! I don't need money to survive. I know how to live in the woods, I've camped many times with Francis. I'll even bring him along."

Anastasia nodded. "Francis. Your father's legitimate son," she stated, eyeing Bash's bruises. "You can't live your life according to him. Your father isn't a good man, you know that."

Bash hung his head, rubbing at a fresh bruise on his arm. "I do," he whispered.

"So, if worst comes to worst and your father sets out to hurt you in the worst way possible, what is mine is yours. My fortune will make sure you're untouchable, my sweet child..." Anastasia sniffled, wiping her tears.

"What about Frankie and Loulou? They can have everything, I don't mind. They are older than me."

"It's not about who is older or not. Their father runs their life, you have your mother. I want you to be happy. One day, you'll have children and you will protect them fiercely. You won't be what your father was to you, to them."

Bash looked away. "Do I have to? Get married, I mean. Who'd want someone as broken as me? The woods are-"

He was quietened by his grandmother placing a simple band onto his hand. He gasped, staring at its simple beauty.

"Your Pepe, he got that for me after his first paycheck. It's worth next to nothing, but I wore it with pride. To me, it's priceless..." She trailed off, cupping Bash's cheeks. "This ring will find a beautiful, wonderful girl's finger. She'll love you unconditionally and she will love you for _you_. Promise me that the one whose finger this lies on will be your forever."

Too stunned to speak, Bash quickly nodded and squeezed the ring in his hand so tight, he was sure it would snap. When he opened his hand, the ring was still intact and it glistened in the light.

"It's a Ring of Certainty," Anastasia told him. "As long as you have that, any girl who sees how broken you are will help fix you and love you. Go on, ride that beast and feel as free as you want. You know you'll find someone special."

...

_Present Day_

"Mckenna, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," Bash says, his heart loud in his ears as he keeps his eyes on their joined hands._  
_

Kenna slips the ring onto Bash's ring finger, above his previous ring. She says, "Sebastian, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

The rest of the ceremony is a blur to Kenna as tears silently fall down her cheeks and she closes her eyes. A bright smile plays on her lips as she feels Bash squeeze her hands.

"You may now kiss the bride," the Priest tells Bash.

Kenna wastes no time in pulling her husband to her frame, cupping his cheeks as they kiss. It's a short kiss, but it says everything they need it to say. A few pecks after, the flushed couple turn to their friends and families who stand up and applaud.

"God, I've waited all day to do that," Bash says under his breath as they start to walk down the aisle, greeting their loved ones amongst others.

"Did you marry me to sleep with me?" She teases him, taking Perrine from Mary when the baby starts to fuss.

Even Bash picks Adrien up in his free arm as he replies, "Maybe. I don't mind though. When you're ready, Kenna."

"Thank you, husband," she says, kissing him again.

"Any time, wife," he easily replies to her, beaming happily when they walk under the archway.

...

Heading upstairs to change into the second dress her _husband_ got her, Kenna takes a moment to let everything sink in. She stares at the rings on her finger, feeling the heaviness of the two rings.

She beams and continues up the stairs and into her room, closing the door behind her. She hears the laughter and conversations coming from downstairs as people eat, drink and dance.

Hearing the door open, she turns and gives Bash a shy smile, beckoning him to join her.

"I-I don't know what to say. H-How did you plan all of this behind my back?" She asks, suddenly not that surprised. "Just like our first wedding."

"Way different than the first time," he says, wrapping his arms around her waist as she immediately puts her hands on his shoulders. "I can't take all the credit. Your brothers, Francis, our mothers... they all had a hand in this. I didn't even want the girls to help in case they'd take over things."

Kenna chuckles, kissing him softly. "Everything is _perfect_, mon amour."

"Want me to help you get undressed?" He asks her, huskily.

She smirks, reaching behind her back to undo her zipper. Before she drags it down the zip, she presses a hand against his chest.

"You should entertain our guests," she tells him and she starts to push him towards the door. "You and I both know what will happen if I let you stay."

"Is that so bad? We haven't since we had Perrine-"

"All in due time," she sings, turning him around and out the door.

She shuts the door for good measure.

Thirty minutes later, she stares at the dress she's wearing through the mirror. It's the same dress as her first one of the day, but this doesn't have a train and it reaches just above her knees. She also has a silk scarf to wrap around her arms if the weather gets chillier as night dawns.

It's almost nine, she realises. Way past both of her children's bedtimes, but she'll allow Adrien to stay up. It's a big day for their family. A new start.

Downstairs, Bash frowns when a text lights up his phone and excuses himself from the conversation he was having with his half-sisters.

"Come back quickly," Louise tells him. "I need to tell you more about my husband, Valentin!"

Bash gives her a smile. "Oui, oui. Valentin le non-romantique. I'll be right back."

He heads out through the front doors and jogs towards the gates. When he gets there, he rounds the corner and sighs.

"Rowan."

Rowan looks up at him, smiling in relief. "You've been ignoring me!"

"How did you get this address?" Bash asks her, grabbing her arm and leading her further down the road.

She shrugs. "Jourdain and you are still good friends. I got him a few drinks and he spilt all about the wedding he helped you plan along with others."

"Rowan, we're over. I'm with Kenna, now," Bash tells her.

"You were with Kenna when _we_ were together," Rowan reminds him. "She already knows about us. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about her..."

She stands back and opens up her light, summer jacket. Underneath is a visible baby bump.

"I'm pregnant, Bash. That's why I've been trying to get a hold of you!" She cries out. "We can be a family. You don't have to pretend anymore. You don't love Kenna."

Bash gasps, turning to the side in disbelief. "N-No. You c-can't be..."

It dawns on Rowan. "You didn't tell her about America, did you? Before you checked yourself into therapy, we had a little fun."

"It was a mistake, Rowan. I never should have-"

"It was fate, Bash! Us being at the same place, at the same time!" Rowan tells him, taking a step to reach him. "There's a reason you came to me when you were married to her the first time. She was a front, she was to make your father believe that you were stable. _I'm_ real."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Bash backs away from her. "How can I even trust what you're saying? You can be lying for all I know!"

"Me?" Rowan asks, her voice breaking as tears spring to her eyes. "Lie to you? I'm not Kenna, I'd never lie to you. I've always been honest from the first time we met. Bash, we can be a family. You can come with me and leave her again. You did the first time."

"And that will never happen again," Bash tells her defiantly. "Kenna is everything to me and if you ever try to contact me again, I'll make sure to won't attempt to."

As he walks away, Rowan calls out, "I'll tell her."

"You won't," he says, not bothering turning around.

"I will! I'll go inside and tell all your little friends and family _everything_. How after kicking out your wife and son, you were sleeping with me in a hotel like a dirty little secret. Not only that, during your marriage, I was the only thing that excited you. I know about Christmas Eve. I'll tell them that too. Let everyone know exactly who you are. A leopard _never_ changes its spots."

Bash stills, eyes wide. He didn't care about the affairs, everyone knew, but Christmas Eve... "What do you think happened on Christmas Eve?" He asks her, turning to face her again.

Rowan gives him a bright smile. "I watched your CCTV feed when I visited that time she was at work. I wanted to make sure no one knew about our love trysts so you were protected from your father. Curiously, I wanted to know why you called me on Christmas Eve and I know exactly why. Poor Kenna, she was frightened of you. I swear, she ran out of that room faster than a cheetah could. That shiner... Wow, that shiner shocked _me_."

"How much do you want?" He suddenly asks, getting ready to take his phone out to transfer any funds.

"You're buying my silence?" Rowan retorts, grinning. "I don't want your money, Bash. I just want what's _mine_. You're mine and I'm yours. It's always been like that, baby. Even when Kenna was in the picture. She's so stupid, honestly. The whole reason that I told her of our one-night stand was to get her to leave you. Dumb bitch loves you more than I thought."

Bash clenches his fists. "Don't you _ever_ speak of my wife like that."

"Sixteen, Bash!" Rowan shouts at him. "When we fell in love and thought we could run away together, into the wild, to be free... We were each other's firsts, and we'd be each other's lasts." She's sobbing now, jabbing a finger at his chest. "We'd be in the woods for hours, _days_. We'd make love-"

"I was young and stupid, Rowan! Life went on, I changed and fell in love with other women that weren't you. Now, Kenna may not be my first time, but she will be my last. She's my life and so are our kids," Bash tells her.

"What about _our_ baby?" She whispers, patting her bump. "I've got two more months to go and I need you. _We_ need you."

Bash looks down, tears springing to his eyes as he rubs his face. The sky is getting darker.

"I'm sorry, Rowan. That's who I am, what I do. I feed people lies, I cheat... I give people false hope and I'm so sorry. I can't be yours, I'm not yours. As for the baby... Fuck!" He yells out, turning away from her, running his fingers through his hair. "Are you sure?"

"It's only ever been you," Rowan croaks out, angrily. "I'm not like that whore of your wife who's slept with your father and cousin! I have standards."

By the front doors, Francis starts laughing when he sees Alexander tucked away with a cigarette between his lips.

"Caught you, Mr Doctor," he says, getting his own pack out. "Ah, forgot my lighter."

Alex rolls his eyes, grinning as he helps Francis light the cigarette up. "God, Douglas is the only one who calls me that. No one knows that I smoke except Kenna."

"Same here. Bash knows only because I picked the bad habit up from him," Francis replies. "Wedding was nice, wasn't it?"

The older man nods. "Yeah. Next, I'll be sobbing when Paisley walks down the aisle. My ma had to give me tissues, instead of me giving _her_ them."

"You ol' softie, you." Francis laughs. "Have you seen Bash? His half-sisters have been asking of him and I don't know where he's gone."

"Kenna, too." Alex smiles knowingly. "They couldn't have waited until everyone left?"

Francis snorts. "My brother and sister-in-law have never been known for their 'subtlety'. My brother talks about their sex life so much, I'm sometimes scared to look Kenna in the eye, knowing what I know. Even Mary tells me stuff they've tried when we're in bed about to sleep. Honestly, if you've seen the nightmares I get..."

Alexander starts laughing, almost choking on the smoke in his throat. "Lovely to know!"

"I hate you!" They hear a feminine voice scream.

Alarmed, they put out their cigarettes and jog towards the source, outside the gates, where they see Bash getting hit repeatedly on the chest by a ginger woman.

"Shit," Francis says under his breath from behind Alex.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Alex asks, pulling the woman off of Bash. "Who is she?!"

Rowan shakes her head, wiping her tears angrily. "He's the father of my unborn baby."

Alex's grip slackens on her as he notices the bump, and then the tears and shock in Bash's eyes. He puts two and two together and curses.

"You promised me," Alex tells him, pointing at him. "You promised me that Kenna was it for you. What. Is. This?"

Bash bites his lip, shrugging in reply. He has nothing to say and that angers his half-brother-in-law. He doesn't know why the older man hasn't punched him senseless by now.

"Bash, tell her that you love me," Rowan says, cutting into the situation. "We can be happy; you, me and our baby. We're real, baby. You can't think you can buy me off. Please and I'll let it all go. We can get your marriage annulled, it should be easy - tell them you're with me and we're happy. We're having a baby-"

"Hey, crazy lady!" Alex calls out, snapping his fingers. "Shut up for a minute, and let me understand all of this. Are you trying to say that the man who married my sister not even a couple of hours ago, is your baby's father?"

Rowan nods. "Yeah," she whispers fearfully.

Francis clears his throat. "How much do you want?"

"You're joking!" Rowan cries out. "I've just said, I don't want your money, Francis!"

"Five? Ten? Fifteen? Thirty?" Francis calls out. "Thirty-five million pounds, last offer."

Rowan shakes her head, crossing her arms. "This is disgusting. The way you're all treating me! I'm the mother of his child, Francis."

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Alex asks her, eyeing her. "I've known my fair share of women looking to make quick money. Tie him down for eighteen years, is that your great plan?"

"Disgusting, I tell you," she mutters darkly, glaring at Alexander.

"Okay," Alex replies. "When you give birth, we'll have a paternity test done. If the child _is_ his, then we'll see where we go from there. If not, I'll give you one million to disappear and keep quiet about everything."

Rowan purses her lips, meeting Bash's eyes before she nods. "He's the father, there's no doubt about it," she tells them smugly. "Kenna will leave him and we'll be the family we always planned we'd be."

Alex falters when his sister's words echo in his head. About how she'd leave Bash, never let him see their kids again and she won't even feel any guilt about it.

He rubs his face. "You need to leave now."

"She'll tell Kenna, Alexander," Bash mumbles. "We can't trust her word. She's tried this before."

Alex slips his hand into his pocket and retrieves his phone. "Your account details?" He asks Rowan.

Stunned, she gives it to him and taps her foot impatiently. She feels her phone buzz with a notification and she checks her account, seeing that fifty grand has been transferred into her account.

"You have two months," she warns Bash. "Or I'll tell her and everyone who you really are."

She leaves and gets into the car, speeding away as Alexander turns to face Bash. He gives him a bitter smile as he waves his phone in front of him.

"Let this be the first and last time I get you out of a mess," he tells Bash. "You don't know half the shit I do and trust me if you did... You'll be on your knees thanking me."

"I'm sorry-"

"No," Alex cuts him off. "That's not for me. Tell that to the woman you've just married not that long ago! Tell her everything before Rowan does _again_." He starts walking away but stops. "And as for who you are? I _know_ what you did and you're lucky I like you a little bit to not beat you into a pulp."

The brothers watch him walk back through the gates, the man's demeanour quickly changing into one of joy when he starts a conversation with his father and family friends.

"He's scary," Francis says lightly, eyeing Bash. "God, Bash! You went to the States to get _better_. What happened?"

"We were in a hotel. My connecting flight to my destination was delayed and... one thing led to another, I'm not proud of it," Bash replies, shaking his head. "I feel sick thinking about it. It was a stupid, drunken mistake. I wanted to tell Kenna... I just couldn't, she was so happy to see me and I missed her so much too."

Francis rubs the back of his neck as he says, "What did you do that they both know about it?"

"If I told you, you'd hate me."

"As much as Kenna's family do?"

Bash nods sadly. "Just know, that was a mistake. I'm different, now."

They leave it at that and head back in. Just as they step through the doors, Kenna reaches the bottom of the stairs with a wide grin on her face.

"Went for a smoke, did you, Francis?" She teases the blonde. "I saw you both with Alexander and he smells like he had a good time smoking. Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me. Just keep it away from the kids."

She kisses Bash deeply, using her left hand to turn Francis's face away blindly. It makes the blonde laugh as he holds his cheek and steps away from her reach.

"Did you really have to make her my sister again?" He teases the couple. "I think we need to do speeches."

Robert Beaton is the first to talk. He talks about how proud of his daughter he is and how thankful he is that he has two beautiful grandchildren from her. He also tells his four other children to hurry up, get married and have children of their own too. It makes Bash squirm in his seat when the subject of children comes up in the speech and he quickly downs his water.

Francis is next with PG-13 rated stories about the couple before he finishes with him being happy to welcome Kenna back into their family again. He says that Bash is at his best with her and he's relieved to see his brother so happy and at peace.

Even Douglas and Alexander share stories of their half-sister and they compliment Bash's PlayStation skills, Alex pointedly eyeing Bash as he raises his glass up in a toast to the newlyweds.

Mary is next on the stage, bemoaning how she is always pregnant at their wedding and that adores them both and can't wait to join them on their next adventure. She also tells everyone embarrassing stories of Kenna much to the bride's embarrassment and everyone's amusement.

Diane follows after, saying, "My mother saw this day. She died peacefully in her sleep, but she had this dream of her only grandson falling in love with a woman who loved him for him just before she let go. She asked me to make sure that my boy..." She stops, her voice breaking as tears slip down her cheeks. "My boy put her beloved ring on the finger of a woman who loved him unconditionally and would be his forever. At first, I wasn't sure what I thought of Kenna, but now... I can't imagine my Sebastian being with anyone other than her. You're his forever, my dear. Thank you for making him happy." Her eyes meet Kenna's watering ones and before she knows it, Kenna is hugging her tightly.

Bash looks down, controlling his breathing as he remembers the words his grandmother told him. Her Ring of Certainty which was now his wife's. Funnily enough, Kenna had said the same thing about the ring without ever meeting his beloved grandmother, Anastasia Poitiers.

He feels Francis's comforting hand on his neck and he turns to him grateful for the support.

As Diane takes her seat, Kenna remains on the makeshift, wooden stage. She clears her throat and gives everyone a wide smile.

"Figured I'd stay up here and say my piece since I'm here," she says, making everyone chuckle. "Those of you know the journey it took for Sebastian and me to get here. We're very thankful, _I'm_ very thankful. This won't be a cheesy reminiscing speech - this will be a tribute and declaration of love to the man who has been nothing, but supportive of me during this past couple of months."

She takes a moment to compose herself and Bash stares at her. He thinks she's a goddess with her hair and her dress, the smile playing on her golden skin. The soft hint of a blush at being on centre stage. He knows on a normal day, she'd bask in it. Today was her wedding day and she was more humble, nervous, emotional.

"Sebastian Laurent Poitiers, I choose you. Now and forever always, I choose _you_. I choose you to hold me, to wipe my tears, to kiss me. I choose you to raise our children and to run away from monsters with them," she says, staring into his eyes. "I choose you to be there in my highs and my lows, to care for me, to protect me. I choose you to _love_ me_."_

She leaves the stage and walks up to the table where he sits, his green eyes sharp as they follow her every move. He wants to confess everything, but he keeps quiet. He can't with people around.

Kenna continues with, "I hope you don't lie, steal or cheat," she says, making his eyes widen a tiny bit. "If you were to lie, lie with me when we're in bed so I know you are near, by my side protecting me. If you were to steal, steal my sorrows and share our problems so we can find solutions together... and if you were to cheat, please cheat death because without you..." Her voice breaks as she brushes a finger across his cheek, sending shivers down his spine. "Without you, I am incomplete and a life without you would be heartbreaking."

"I..." He says, too stunned. "I-I don't think I can beat that," he tells her, everyone laughing, as the women dab at their eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't have anything-"

"It's fine," Kenna replies. "I think we should open up the dancefloor, don't you?"

As the guests get up to dance, Kenna takes Adrien's hand and leads him to where a few Castleroy children are dancing. She lets loose, beckoning John, James and Anne to join them.

Kenna laughs, surrounding herself with the children. She meets Bash's eyes and gives him a wide smile, her attention caught by Anne trying to take the bows off her lilac dress.

Bash tenses up when Alexander joins his side, the both of them watching Kenna with the children.

"_Relax..._ My sister always had a way with words," he says, sipping his drink. "Tell her. Take her upstairs and tell her the truth."

"Okay," Bash whispers. "Five more minutes? She's having fun."

...

Kenna sighs happily, hugging Bash tightly. "Today has been like a dream. I have my son, my daughter, my _husband_... I can't stop smiling." She grins.

"Kenna, I need to tell you something," Bash says, releasing her grip on his body. He rubs his face, going over to sit down on the bed. "I'm so sorry."

"W-What do you mean?" She asks him, breathlessly as she stands there in confusion. "A-Are you regretting this-"

"God, no!" Bash quickly says, swallowing deeply. "It's not you, trust me."

Kenna falters. "I don't know if I should, Bash. You've given me reasons not to, sweetheart. Whatever it is, we can deal with it together."

"I don't deserve you, I never did," he states, sighing. "You were more than perfect and I took you for granted."

"You're scaring me," she replies, her voice breaking as tears fall from her eyes. "Don't stop being honest now."

Bash nods sadly. "You know when we argued on your birthday? I was so upset. I left straight after and when I got to America, I got to the connect state where I'd take my next flight to my destination. The flight was delayed by a day so they gave us a free stay at a hotel and I took the offer up and ended up at the bar."

"Okay? So you had a drink, so what?" She asks, laughing but his reaction makes her stop. "What happened, Sebastian?"

He swallows deeply. "I bumped into Rowan. One thing led to another and..."

"You slept with her," Kenna breaths out, realisation in her eyes. "Oh my, God."

"It meant nothing. I had a few drinks and... I was upset, okay? It meant nothing, I swear," he tells her, trying to assure her.

"It does if you're bringing it up today!" Kenna screams out. "Is that it? You regret this now? You've married me again and you want to continue your affair with her? Mon Dieu!"

"Kenna, no! Never ever think I'll leave you. I'm yours, not hers," he says, getting up to grab her hands so she doesn't attempt to leave. "I'm not doing this to hurt you, my love, I'm doing this so we're completely honest. I have to tell you, she came today and she's... she may or may not be pregnant with my baby."

"Every single time... It's always something new, something more horrible than the last...!" She cries out.

Kenna starts struggling out of his grip, pulling so he loses his grip, but he tightens his grip. She stops, breathing heavily as she doesn't meet his eyes.

She just sinks to the ground, her hands stilled gripped by his. Tears fall down her cheeks and she tries tugging again to no avail.

Bash just stares down at her, not knowing quite what to do now. She's pulling from him, cursing him and he resents her brother for making him do this to Kenna.

The door opens and Mary enters, running her hand through her hair as she steps towards them with a bright smile.

"Kenna, Bash, people want to get the cake cut because it's l-" She cuts herself off, confusion settling into her features as she stares at the situation. "K-Kenna? Bash? What's going on?"

"Let me go, Sebastian," Kenna says quietly.

Soon her hands drop by her sides and she sighs in relief. She gets to her feet and heads to her vanity table. She fixes her makeup, Mary quietly redoing her hair and fixing her crown.

When the ladies are done, Kenna thanks Mary and gives her a bright smile.

"Let's cut that cake so people can get going home," she says to Bash and Mary.

As the couple cut the cake, they take pictures. Kenna's smile is the one she's reserved out of falseness. The one which makes her look stupendously happy even when she's dying inside. The same smile she wore at her first wedding.

Bash's smile is slightly more genuine, more so than in their first wedding. As his lips meet his wife's on the request of the photographer, he apologises with the kiss. She doesn't respond but pulls away and plants that fake smile she has come to perfect.

...

It's three in the morning when Kenna finally gets dressed in her pyjamas after checking up on the kids. She removes her makeup with wipes and removes her jewellery, placing them in her ornate box.

"It would be weird if the newlyweds didn't sleep in the same room," she hears Bash say behind her back.

Remaining silent, she gets up and heads to her bed, picking up a pillow and chucking it to the floor. That is his bed.

"You know what? I thought telling you the truth would be better, that we would be stronger from this. Would you rather Rowan told you?" Bash asks her, angrily.

"Do you love her?" Kenna asks him, crossing her arms.

Bash shakes his head and starts to undress as he says, "No. Once, I did. Now? It's you or nothing."

"You say all of this, yet you slept with her," Kenna replies. "Every little argument, you went back crawling to her. Even if we didn't argue, it was her! Is she that important to you?"

"She's nothing. Kenna, please," he begs. "I'll get down on my knees, anything. I don't want a repeat of the past. The first time wasn't real, _this_ is real. I'll do whatever you want, just don't leave me.

It's a while until she finally nods. "Abstinence, Bash. I can't trust you not to sleep with other women. Until I feel and believe that you're committed to me and me only, I don't want us to be that way. It won't feel right, it would be like you're thinking about _every other girl_ than me. Me, your _wife_."

"I'll do it. I'll do anything," he says, bringing her into his arms as tears spring to his eyes.

"The Bible says to forgive. We're married _again_. We can't be unmarried otherwise that's a failure on both of our parts... I can sure as Heaven and Hell tell you that there won't be a third time. Promise me one thing."

"Anything," he whispers, searching her eyes as he brushes a finger across her cheek.

She turns away from his touch. "_Never_ see her again. She's crazy and I... I don't know what she's capable of."

"Yeah, okay," he replies, kissing the side of her head. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Bash," she easily says, kissing him deeply.

They break apart when the door is almost flung open. Joanna's eyes are wide and the sudden sound of a baby crying in distress is heard.

"What is it?" Kenna asks her mother, following the woman towards the source of the cries, Bash right behind her. "Why is she crying?"

Getting to the room, the couple sees Alex checking Perrine over. He tries to calm the baby as he assures a frightened Adrien that everything is okay.

"Alex, what is wrong with her?!" Kenna cries out, joining his side as Bash squeezes her shoulder.

"I think we need to take her to the hospital," Alex tells the worried parents. "She's really sick."

Kenna's whole world stops and she looks away from her brother, trying to comfort her daughter in any way. She feels hopeless as her daughter's cries increase and she starts sobbing at the amount of pain the baby is probably in.

"Mama's here, baby girl. She'll never leave you," she whispers, stroking Perrine's hair.

She can't lose her daughter. She's just released the grief and anger she had at her child. Now, there was nothing but adoration for the young baby and if Kenna lost her...

"Shh, Mama's got you," she croaks out.

* * *

**(1): Search musebyberta online and check the dress for YouTuber Keren Swan(son) which is ninth on the list, last I checked. Further information, the blonde bride is being held by her forearm by her brunette mother and a man stands close behind in a white dress shirt and blue tie. I watched the wedding video (as I watch her and her family's vlogs sometimes) and adored her dress, so I'd image Kenna's is similar to it but more bohemian and her hair styled differently too.**


	24. Chapter 24

"Why can't we be with her?" Kenna asks her brother, rubbing her arms for warmth.

She hadn't bothered with a jacket. She didn't care how she looked as she paced the waiting room with her UGG boots and pyjamas. It was bloody early in the morning, the pyjamas were totally understandable.

"They're checking her over," Douglas says, checking his phone when it bleeps. "Alex is with them to make sure everything is okay. Don't worry."

"Don't worry?" Bash asks him, furrowing his brows. "Our three-month-old daughter is lying unconscious and we're just here waiting."

Douglas winces, getting up and sending an apologetic look the couple's way. "Call me if anything changes."

He leaves and Kenna sits down beside Bash, leaning her against his shoulder as she closes her eyes. She doesn't know what's happening or why it's happening. All she knew was that her daughter was fussy a bit that day and now, the next morning, she was screaming.

She had barely tended to her child that day. It seemed when she had a minute to, someone else or another wanted to know the child. She knew it was too much for her daughter, but she hadn't seen these people in years or a while so they had wanted to catch up and get to know her children.

"Kenna?" Bash calls her softly. "Alex texted, they want you there."

She opens her eyes and nods, getting up and leaving the waiting room. She heads to the treatment area where Alex is conversing with a few doctors about Perrine's condition.

From the look in his eyes, it's not good news.

When she stands beside him, the doctor turns to her and shakes her hand.

"Your brother has filled me in on his suspected diagnosis. May I ask how your daughter was behaving these past few days?"

Kenna nods in confusion. "Urm. She's been fine, I guess. She didn't eat much and well, she had a fever a few days back but her nurse tended to her. I-I was in an MBU for a while, so she had round-the-clock care. I was also changing her nappies quite a few more times than usual. She had an upset stomach. There was a bug going around and I thought she'd caught it, but other than that she-she was fine."

She digs her nails into her palm as Alex takes over, explaining that Perrine suffered from an unexpected seizure and how he saw rashes on her skin. Her poor son had woken up to use the toilet when he saw his sister like that.

She made sure her parents comforted him so he wasn't too traumatised by events that happened during the night.

"W-What are all of those tubes for?" Kenna asks them, going over to stare at her baby. "Is she comfortable like that? Is she in any pain?"

"She is being treated with antibiotics. We were able to figure out which form of meningitis she has and the tubes are to support her with her breathing. We did notice she was holding her breath as she tried to sleep. It is not a cause for concern, Perrine just needs to remember that she needs to breathe and it's a precaution."

"Okay," she whispers in reply. "C-Can I touch her?"

She just needs to hold her baby against her, make sure that she's going to be okay. She wouldn't cope if she lost the baby she fought hard to love. She's always loved her from day one, but her issues came flooding back and she wasn't strong enough to stop them from harming her love for Perrine.

"Not right now. We are still treating her, but if you and your husband wish to go home and-"

"No," she says firmly. "We're staying."

She didn't care how early it was, she and Bash were staying for their daughter. Not even Alex can convince her to move from where she stands right now, eyes trained intently on Perrine as if she'd disappear.

"I'll stay too. In case you need help understanding things," Alex says with a sigh, thanking the medical staff and pulling up seats for them. "I'll text Bash."

The minute her husband enters, Alex excuses himself to get them all something to drink. None of them was catching any sleep tonight.

"You see?" Kenna asks quietly, her eyes trained on the soft rise and fall of Perrine's chest. "_These_ sort of things happen when you hurt me... First, that baby we lost and now our daughter... We could lose her too."

"Karma, right?" Bash replies, leaning back in his seat as he watches his wife. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you how much I regret most things in my life. The only thing I don't regret is you. You and our kids. You're the only thing I've got going for me right now."

She sighs, rubbing her face as she almost catches her hair with her rings. She brings her hand to her eyesight and she's almost compelled to take them off and just put a giant hazard sign whenever things concerned Bash.

But she couldn't. Her father asked her if she was sure, her mother and _Diane_ asked if she was sure as they helped her get into her dress. She has thought long and hard, as she always did and she's made her bed. She has to now lie in it.

"I don't want to hear all that, Bash," she finally says. "Not right now, when I can barely have the strength to look at you... Yes, I've forgiven you, but you need to give me space. If we're going to make things work and maintain a healthy marriage, we need to seriously lay things down about our life and where we want to be at as a family. I've got my own stuff going on as well, I don't need to worry about whether my husband is going to cheat on me."

"I'll give you space," he says easily, getting up. "Text me if anything changes."

She looks up at him with a frown. "Where are you going?"

"The chapel."

"So you pray now?" She asks dubiously, eyeing him with curious eyes.

Bash nods. "Yep. I'm going to go before you make something out of nothing."

"Here we go," she mutters, laughing a little. "With the little snipes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to steal your go-to front," he snaps.

Her eyes roll and they land on Perrine. "Just go, Bash. You're always good at that anyway."

She hears the chair scrape on the floor and she raises an eyebrow, turning to him. He's sat there, looking at anything but her and she returns her gaze to their daughter.

"I think I'll just stay. Either way, it will cause an argument. I'd rather not have one whilst our little girl is fighting for her life," he tells her. "You always make things difficult and play the victim."

"_I_ make things difficult and play the victim?" She repeats, eyes wide as she turns to him again. "I can't believe you just said that after everything that we've-no-_I've_ been through! I've never once played the victim, you always turn things around and make me out to be the bad guy. You used Antoine against me even though it was you being unfaithful. Funnily enough, you got that same woman pregnant as your pregnant wife was losing her mind worrying about you as you disappeared for months!"

Alex enters, holding a cup holder with three hot beverages. He takes them in and lets out a disappointing sigh.

"I need to speak with my sister for a minute, do you mind?" He asks Bash.

At first, he doesn't get up. He changes his mind when Alexander shoves a cup in his face and gives him a look which means he meant business. Slowly, he gets up and accepts the cup, leaving straight after.

"Right," Alex says, sitting down on the seat. "I'll have you know that it was me who told him to tell you."

"Why would you do that?" She asks angrily. "Are you actively trying to destroy my marriage? Last time, I had doubts and was ready to end it at the altar, but I kept silent. Now? We've not even gone on our honeymoon and you sure as hell are making me want to end things _right now_."

He scowls. "Why would I want to hurt you?" He retorts. "I just thought it was best to spare you the pain. You had to air it out before things got more concrete. From what I can tell, this Rowan girl isn't going down without a fight. I mean, she was the one Sebastian ran off to every time, wasn't she?"

"Alexander, I'm not in the mood to start something else with you," she tells him, shaking her head. "I am not mentally stable to process all of this. The only thing I want to do now is to be there for Perrine Aveline. If you're going to be talking shit, leave right behind him and his lies."

"That's you all over. You never face things head-on, you always wait until it becomes a mountain of issues piling on top of each other and you let them go."

She lets out a bitter chuckle. "And whose fault is that?"

"Kenna, none of us made you pick up those blades. Or made you try hurting yourself in ways you can never come back from," Alex says quietly as he leant forward. "You need to think about your family. Now, you're home, they need you."

"It's not even been a day since I left the ward," she whispers, eyes glistening. "How on Earth am I supposed to stick to my care plan when my daughter is ill and my husband doesn't know how to keep it in his trousers? I can't _cope_ with being thrown into the deep end!"

Alex sips his coffee, shrugging in resignment. He doesn't know what to say. She's right. For the past months, she's been told to think about herself. Now she's home, she has a million unresolved issues to deal with.

"I can't speak for what Sebastian did," Alex starts. "But I can see he's trying to make it better. I... I was there when they were talking, Kenna. All he thought about was _you_. He didn't even care about that woman's baby, God, forgive him. He wasn't in the right frame of mind back then, you know that. And you had ended things, too. What about you? You slept with your husband's cousin _then,_ with your husband during your divorce. You're no saint."

"No, I'm not," she admits. "At least I own up to it though. Can we leave-"

An intense beeping starts and Alex gets up, almost spilling his drink as he places it on the table and checks Perrine over.

"W-What's happening?" Kenna asks him as he presses the emergency button.

"I-I'm not on duty, but she's-"

"What?" Kenna asks, worriedly, getting up.

As doctors rush in, she is taken outside by Alex who brings her into his arms. He rubs her back as she starts to sob, burying her face into his chest. He tries to make things better, but nothing ever will. Nothing will ever go her way and she's lost in the darkness and chaos of the reality called her life.

...

A few weeks later, Kenna brought Perrine back home to her parents'. With Bash and Adrien back in England for the new school year, she decided to stay an extra few days in Scotland to cool things off between her and Bash as well as get Perrine's medical details sent back home.

"How's our angel doing?" Her father asks, leaning over her shoulder to see the nearly four-month-old fast asleep.

"Better," Kenna replies. "It was touch and go... I honestly don't know how Earth she became so ill!"

Placing a hand on her shoulder, Robert says, "What's important is that she's better now. Gave us all a scare."

Kenna bites her lip nervously, studying Perrine intently. That's all she's doing lately. She can't let her miracle disappear from her.

"She still needs some checkups when we go back home. The doctors say she might have seizures or hearing and vision difficulties. This might even affect her in the future," Kenna tells her father fearfully. "I've never been through something like that. Not even with Adrien..."

"We're all praying, darling," her father tells her, kissing the side of her head. "What are you going to do when you go back home?"

Kenna shrugs. "Bash has Adrien staying with him for the meantime so I won't see him when I go to the house."

"Are you going to avoid him forever?"

"No," she mumbles. "I-I've been looking at couples' therapy. What can I do? I've made another mistake by choosing to stay with him, I've got to lie on the bed I've made."

"Kenna... You're a smart woman, smarter than me even," her father replies. "This wasn't a mistake, you followed your instincts and you can be happy. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face watching you get married again. You've come a long way and if what Sebastian did really messed things up for you... Well, we're all here."

Kenna leans into his chest, feeling her father rest his chin on top of her head. It makes her smile a little. Her father was lanky, a tall thing of a man and he often towered over his children when they were little. Until Alexander and Douglas grew in height and almost matched him. She was tall herself and she wondered how her son was a such a small little being.

"When you and Mum had your issues, how did you fix them?" She asks gently.

Her father tenses up. "_A lot_ of therapy. I mean, after we had your sister, things got better. It was a clash of different backgrounds. Your mother wasn't born into wealth like your older brothers' mother was."

"I know that," Kenna replies. "What was Alex and Dougie's mum like?"

"She wasn't the best of people. We met through our parents, she was very manipulative. She was older by a few years and we obviously didn't work out."

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know," her father says honestly. "Douglas went to look for her during Christmas. I didn't want to know how she was."

"Seems like anyone can clash despite coming from the same background or not," she replies. "But Bash had a difficult life, I can't deny that. Worse than mine, his father hurt him... You've never laid a hand on any of us and Bash had to take it in to save his siblings. I don't know what I would have done if I was him."

"I can tell you this much," her father says. "He's learning to love and you're the only one worthy of that love. Anyone else isn't worth the love he has in him to share. Commitment and abandonment issues can mess up someone for life, but he wasn't going to be a statistic. He's trying, I can see that."

She turns her face to the side so she can see her father's face as she says, "So I shouldn't give up? I should forgive him?"

"I genuinely think it was a lapse of judgment. He didn't purposefully go out to do this, he was in a bad mindset and events that followed on from that... Well, you both need a good talk and to do this _together_."

_Together_, she thinks. When have they ever done anything together?

"Okay. Let's get this little one to sleep," she replies, picking up Perrine and heading upstairs.

_Together_.

...

Home is a welcome sight for Kenna as she gets out of the cab and pays the driver. He helps her with her belongings as she takes Perrine in her car seat.

She instructs the driver to put their things by the door and pays him extra for his troubles, apologising for using his manpower to which he just chuckles and gets back into his black cab.

"You're home," she hears Francis say behind her as he bends down to pick up some of the bags. "Welcome back."

She gives him a polite smile and says, "Thank you."

"How's our little fighter?" He asks as she opens the door and places the car seat onto the ground by the stairs.

She steps aside to let Francis bring her things inside.

"She's doing so much better. We still need to see the doctors, but she's fighting fit. Definitely less crying and no more rashes blistering her skin," Kenna replies as he brings the last batch inside.

"That's great. We were all really worried," he informs her. "And you?"

She gives him a wry grin. "I'm doing good. How's Bash?"

"Not like most newlyweds. He feels really bad, Kenna," Francis says, closing the front door behind him. "If he's not looking after Adrien, he just shuts off."

"Yeah, I saw that he wasn't replying to my texts concerning our sick child," she replies shrilly.

"He sees them," Francis quickly says. "You said you wanted space and that is what he's giving you, right?"

She nods slowly. "Y-Yeah."

She _did_ remain a few extra days in Scotland just because of space. She can't fault him for respecting her wishes, damn it.

"I will forgive him, but I can't forget. Francis, there's always a lot of things that we're going through and the blame is always shifted onto me. Until we can deal with solving our problems without wanting to scream at each other or run away, space is the best thing. I mean, we're obviously living apart for the same reason," she tells the blonde. "I will speak to him. Invite him around and see Adi."

"If you need me or Mary, you know where to find us," Francis replies, bringing her in for a tight hug. "Any time."

She sees him out and finally goes over to pick up her daughter. "Hi, baby girl," she coos, staring into her daughter's hazel eyes. "Look at you. Someone's eyes are getting darker, like Mama's."

She enters the living room, opening the blind and back doors to bring some fresh Autumn air inside. It's been raining, but it stopped a while ago.

"Let's put you down on your play mat, eh?" Kenna asks her daughter, bouncing her a little.

She kneels down and places the baby gently onto the mat, brushing her brown wisps of hair from her face. She beams down at Perrine when the baby immediately starts to kick her feet around and gurgle.

"Let Mama make a quick call, okay?"

Kenna gets up and slips her phone out of her pocket, her eyes remaining on her daughter as she presses Bash's name on her contacts.

He doesn't pick up and she tuts in frustration, sending him a quick text instead.

{To Bash (Husband): **Tried calling. We're home now and we'd like to see you and Adi x Miss you and love you both xx**}

She waits a few minutes and just when she's about to throw her phone on the sofa, she receives a text in reply.

{From Bash (Husband): **Sorry, left my phone in the kitchen. Yeah, I'll pack his things and we'll come after school. Miss you both too. Je t'aime.**}

Kenna sighs in relief, smiling widely as her attention returns to their daughter. She frowns a little when Perrine reaches out for her hanging toys, but can't quite reach in the correct direction. The baby then gives up and moves on to stuffing her fist in her mouth.

"Perrine?" Kenna calls out, slipping her hair behind her ear as she kneels down and hovers in front of her baby. "Perrine Aveline Mckenzie?" She sings, but her daughter doesn't even give her attention. "Perrine Aveline?"

Perrine continues to not acknowledge her and Kenna's heart sinks. She just sits there, playing with Perrine's hair as she swallows a nervous gulp at the fear of her daughter never being the same.

"This is all my fault," she whispers, tears springing to her eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby girl. I... I never..."

She never should have said she hated her daughter, she never should have said she ruined her life because now... Now her daughter is ill and she can't do anything to protect her or stop it from happening.

"I'm so sorry, baby..." She says, letting her tears fall.

...

After dinner, Kenna allows Adrien to play with his tablet in the living room as Bash picks up their plates and heads to the sink.

Kenna watches him as she feeds Perrine with a bottle. She doesn't know what to say. They've barely spoken since he arrived with Adrien as her attention was immediately drawn into focusing on her son.

"Bash, can you leave those for a minute?" She asks, rubbing Perrine's cheek as the baby finishes feeding. She immediately places a baby cloth on her shoulder so she can burp the baby.

Bash complies, opting to put the remaining dishes in the dishwasher before he wipes his hands with a kitchen rag and sits at the table. He reaches for Perrine once she's burped and Kenna willingly hands her over.

"I was hoping to talk, but you know with Adi... I just had to spend time with him first." She shrugs, trying to make excuses.

"I get it. He needs you," Bash replies, eyeing her. "Kenna... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get upset. I have no right to get upset-"

"And I have no right to judge you for the things you did after I broke things off," she cuts him off. "Bash, I'm the last person to judge you, I've made mistake after mistake. I'm not the best person in the world! I'm a complicated woman and I should be blessed to have someone who understands that and loves me despite my flaws."

He smiles a little. "And you accept mine, Kens," he replies. "I'm sorry. Truly, I am. I never imagined Rowan coming back into my life like that. She was familiar, that's all it was - that's _why_ I went to her every time. I didn't even feel anything for her, I just had to... I don't know what I had to do. I met her after my grandmother died when we were teenagers. She was just comfort and I guess, I used her as comfort afterwards during our marriage and when I left. She's nothing. Not even comfort because _you're_ my comfort. You're everything, Mckenna Marie."

She giggles. "Oh, God. I forgot I married the cheesiest man on Earth. You and I, we will get there and we just have to be honest with each other and not be quick to be defensive. Anyway..." Her attention then goes to their daughter. "Bash... The doctors said that Perrine might experience some difficulties..."

"Like...?"

"Hearing loss, epilepsy, concentration issues, imbalance, vision loss... Those sort of stuff. Overall, they said that it's estimated that up to 1 in every 10 cases of bacterial meningitis is fatal. Alex says she's looking okay after the pictures I sent him to show a paediatric where he works. He also said that she could have these issues and we wouldn't be able to tell until a while or when she really hits those milestones, but..."

Bash sighs heavily. "But?"

"I've noticed that she doesn't respond to me calling her name as she usually does. Her co-ordination is off too and she's almost always reached for things with ease," Kenna tells him. "I don't want to wait for a diagnosis."

"Easy, we'll go private and get this sorted quickly before it becomes a bigger issue," Bash replies, making her smile in relief. "We've got the means to get this seen to. Our baby girl will be fine." He kisses Perrine's cheek, making the baby smile a little.

"I just want us to be at a good place because since we've had her... Nothing's gone right for us, Bash. I want us to be happy," she says, reaching for his free hand. "I want us to be a proper family and I want to be able to trust you."

Kissing her hand, he replies with, "Then, let's make this work. I love you so much, Kenna."

"I love you, too," she says, kissing him. "Now and always."

...

Kenna turns to Bash with a small smile playing on her lips as he babbles at a confused Perrine. She would have laughed if not for the parent of another school kid chatting to her as she idly nods on in reply.

"...And Eric has learnt his grade 5 piano..."

Kenna 'ah's in reply, thinking of the days she would play the piano expertly at one of the events her parents hosted when she was a child. It makes her smile, the memories fond in her mind as she remembers her siblings singing and Alex with his little Stradivarius violin. He kept it, she finds out over a decade or two later. His first violin from when he was five.

"That's lovely," Kenna finally says, hoping to God that her child is let out for the day first and not last.

"Kenna! Bash!"

She looks up, sighing in relief when she sees Mary and Francis make their way over, joining them on the bench.

"We've been looking for you both," Francis says, eyeing the other mother briefly. "We need to talk about that thing you both needed from this morning?"

"What-"

Kenna hits Bash and his eyes widen in realisation.

"Oh, yeah. You know what? I think Perrine needs a nap so let's go and talk about that thing by the car," Bash tells them.

As they walk towards her car, Kenna is the first one to start laughing. She runs a hand through her hair and sends her in-laws a grateful smile.

"I remember you guys warning me about Cindy," she tells them. "Cindy who has Eric in John's year and Hannah in Adrien's class. God, she goes on about her kids!"

They lean against the car, watching their children's class doors from a distance as they talk about the parents they're not too fond of. Cindy was definitely high on their list and did not give either couple a break.

"How's Perri doing?" Mary asks, leaning over Bash to take the baby into her arms and making faces.

Kenna smiles at her nickname for the baby. Even Francis called Perrine by 'Perri Ava' or 'Perri Angel'.

"Some causes for concern," Bash tells them. "Alexander is a great help, getting us the support we need to care for her. We've gone for private care."

"So, what does that mean? Do you know what's wrong with her?" Francis asks, brushing a finger over Perrine's cheek.

Kenna nods a bit. "The doctors say her balance and concentration may be off because of sensorineural deafness. They say that it can get worse or even change during the early days of recovery, but after a few months, we should have a clearer picture as it should stabilise."

"She could also have learning difficulties," Bash adds, making his wife nod sadly. "We're not there yet, but we are in high spirits because she's a fighter."

"Yes, she is!" Mary says in a baby voice, kissing Perrine's head. "God, I can't wait to do this all over again. John's afraid to let me out of his eyesight now we've told the kids."

"That's lovely," Kenna replies, grinning. "How did they take it?"

Mary winces a bit, Francis doing the same. "Our little blonde vixen didn't like the idea of not being the baby of the family anymore. She more or less asked if we could take the baby 'back to where it came from'."

"I wouldn't expect any less," Bash admits. "Anne's a scary one."

Francis chuckles, nodding. "She's Mary through and through," he replies, receiving a hit from his wife. "And James - well, he said he didn't mind as long as he didn't have to give up his room."

"Each of the kids has their own room," Mary says, information everyone already knows as the houses on their street are four-bedroom homes. "We'll have nowhere to put the baby when they come. For the first few months, I'd like them beside me in our room, but after that..."

"We might have to look for something bigger or have the boys share," Francis finishes.

"And we don't want them to share because John needs his own space and we let him do his own stuff, you know?" Mary says flusteredly. "I don't want to switch things up and discomfort him."

Kenna knows Mary's frightened of doing or saying the wrong thing to her adoptive son. She knows the effort her best friend has put into caring and loving her son from their best friend. At first, things were difficult and Mary had been spiteful and jealous.

Until she realised that John was innocent and she couldn't hate an innocent being, one who looked so much like her beloved life partner. She promised Lola she'd be the best mother to the boy and eight years later, almost nine, she kept her promise and his true maternity figure remained a secret from many.

"Maybe we should have Anne and James bunk up," Mary continues on. "But then again, Anne is a girl and she's very territorial. She hates people invading her personal space and she's all about 'stranger danger' and all that."

Francis sighs, nodding. "She's a difficult kid, she whines and moans and rejects everything. Do you know what we're going through right now? The 'I don't like fruits and vegetables' stage. It's driving us mad, the boys never went through that. Not even ketchup can salvage the vegetables or chocolate cake for the fruits. And when she gets to puberty, dear God."

Kenna and Bash both let out amused laughs as Mary and Francis pull faces at their predicament. From the moment the blonde girl was born, they all knew they'd have a fireball in their hands.

"I'm just glad she's stopped that stupid Disney Princess phase," Francis mutters on. "Imagine explaining to a four-year-old why they can't wear their Cinderella dress to bed for the tenth day in a row. I burnt that dress alive - it didn't fit her anymore anyway."

"Jesus," Bash mumbles, grinning as he crosses his arms. "I'm glad our little Perrine will be an absolute angel. Look at her."

They all look at Perrine and she immediately reaches over to pull at Francis's hair.

"What is it with kids and pulling my hair?" Francis bemoans as he allows the baby to do so. "It takes me an hour to do this."

"An hour more than it takes me," Mary says under her breath much to everyone's amusement. "I can tell you the full list of a hundred products he puts in his bloody hair from A to Z. On a gym day, he puts fifty."

"Bash is just straight up my shampoo, conditioner and a hand ran through it," Kenna tells her. "I mean, he's literally started buying two of my women's shampoo, one for me and the other for him."

Bash frowns. "What can I say? It smells crazy _good_."

"No wonder your dirty hands are all up in my clean hair," she jests, kissing his cheek.

"I'll have you know, I'm cleaner than you are," he retorts. "Have you all been to her apartment before we got married the first time?"

Mary grins nervously. "He's kind of right. I mean, your heels were everywhere from the living room to your bathroom and your dirty laundry-"

"Mary Adelaide Valois, you still want to be my best friend right?" Kenna asks her nonchalantly.

"I mean, her apartment was a work of art. The clothes on the floor were artistic statements!" Mary reiterates, pointing to where the classroom doors start to open. "Oh, look! Our children are leaving their classrooms!"

"Smooth, Valois," Kenna says. "Smooth."

"Why thank you, Poitiers," Mary cheekily replies, heading towards John's classroom with Perrine still in her arms as Francis goes to get James.

Kenna reaches out for Bash to take her hand and when he does, she squeezes it happily, pressing a kiss onto their joined hands.

"Shall we?" She asks, cocking her head to the side slightly to see him.

"We shall," Bash replies, giving her a small smile.

She returns it and at the moment, she knows that they can face everything and anything. Whether it be Rowan or Henry or Antoine... They can face it together.

"I love you, you know that?" Bash asks her as they head towards Adrien's classroom.

"I know," she replies, beaming. "You may have told me that a few times, but I think I forgot how it sounded."

"I love you."

"Yeah?" She breathes out, letting go so her arm wrapped around his waist. "Sorry, I missed that."

He grins, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, Mckenna Marie."

"Meh," she replies, giggling when she quickly avoids his fingers that creep her side to start tickling her hips.

Releasing herself from his hold, she waves Adrien over and grins when a bright smile plays on her son's lips.

"Mum, Dad!" He calls out, stopping to turn and wave at his teacher before running to them. "Hi!"

"Hi, sweetie!" Kenna says, kissing him on the head. She chuckles when she realises that he completely dropped his French names for them, being a _big boy_ now. "Since when did you call us 'mum' and 'dad'?"

Adrien blushes as he starts walking towards the car, his parents following behind with small smirks.

"Someone said 'mama' and 'papa' is baby-ish," Adrien replies quietly. "They said that they didn't like my accent or me." He shrugs it off and runs off, seeing one of his cousins call him over.

Bash and Kenna share a concerned glance. She tries turning around, but Bash stops her with a shake of his head.

"If you tell his teacher, you'll make things worse," he says to her quietly. "There are some new kids this year, they just haven't got to know him."

"Someone can't bully our son for having a French accent," Kenna replies angrily. "If I tell his teacher, they can tell me who was rude to him."

"He's a strong kid, he'll get over it," Bash says. "Come on, Francis has got Anne and we can go home."

Kenna stalls, yanking her hand away from Bash's and turning around. She storms over to the teacher who has a kind smile on his face.

"Hi," she calls out, waving to get his attention as he lets the last kid out to see their parent. "I'm Kenna Poitiers, Adrien's mum," she introduces herself, shaking his hand. "His sister was ill so we're finally meeting, Mr...?"

"Mr Godard. Jon Godard," the man replies in a Scottish accent.

She smirks a little. "You're Scottish?"

He nods. "I am, yes. Glaswegian."

"I'm Scottish, too! Made in Edinburgh!" She replies, laughing a little as he laughs too. Great, she has an in. "Raised in England though."

"Yeah, I hear some of your Scottishness coming through," he says lightly, making her chuckle. "How can I help you, Adrien's mum?"

She waves it off. "_Kenna's_ fine! Uh, basically... You know that Adrien's accent is French. He was born and raised in France and although his dad has an English accent, our little boy is French through and through."

"Yeah, I've noticed. He does very well in his French lessons and it's no wonder," Jon replies, smiling proudly. "So, what's the issue?"

She winces. "A kid has been making fun of Adrien about that. I'm not sure whether it's a big thing or not, I just came home yesterday so..."

Jon sighs, eyeing Bash walking towards them with an uneasy frown. "Adrien has been more quiet than usual. I was his substitute teacher last year, I'm not sure if you remember?"

"Sorry, last school year was hectic having him move from France to England," she replies apologetically. "I knew his teacher, Ms Carroll, though."

"Yeah, she was his teacher," Jon affirms. "So, he was a really bright, loud, smart lad last year and now, he's a lot quieter. I was planning to speak to you and your husband about it."

Kenna's heart jumps. "Oh, okay..."

"As you know, we've had a few new children this year and as Adrien's not exactly the tallest of his class, he's been subject to some bullying."

Kenna gasps as Bash shakes his head in slight anger and disappointment.

Before she can say anything, he jumps in with, "And what are you doing to stop this?"

"Adrien tells us that he's fine. We've moved the boys to a new classroom and I've heard a few children saying that the bullying hasn't stopped," Jon continues. "We've spoken to Adrien about it-"

"Don't you have a zero-tolerance policy for this sort of thing?" Bash asks him, cutting him off. "He never went through this in France. Have these kids got something against French people? I want to know who their parents are-"

"Sebastian," Kenna calls his name softly, returning her attention to Jon. "Is there anything we can do?"

Jon nods. "Speak to Adrien, see things from his point of view. We've tried stopping anything from happening-"

"But nothing is working?" Kenna finishes sadly.

"There have also been very unflattering words such as Adrien 'going back to his country' amongst others. We honestly do not tolerate these sort of abuse and bullying at our school and I sincerely apologise on their behalf," Jon tells them.

"So, you can't kick them out or anything?" Kenna snaps. "Adrien is probably more from the UK than they are! How _dare_ they say that to him?"

Bash places a comforting hand on her shoulder as he says, "Thank you for letting us know. We will be on this immediately."

"If there's anything I can do, let me know," Jon tells them, sincerely apologetic.

The couple shakes his hand and leave, meeting Francis and Mary with all of their children by the other couple's car. When Mary sees their faces, her smile leaves her face.

"Adi, can you go and wait in the car, please?" Bash asks as Kenna takes Perrine.

Adrien immediately looks towards them, eyes wide. "H-Have I done something wrong?" He asks, eyes watering.

Kenna quickly shakes her head. "Oh, no sweetie. We just have to get home sooner rather than later. Say 'bye'," Kenna replies. "I'll let you watch Paw Patrol with them later."

Adrien doesn't even say his farewells as he gets into their car, climbing his way up.

"What's wrong?" Mary asks in alarm.

"Adrien's being bullied," Bash informs them. "These kids have been saying disgusting and horrible words to our son, saying that he should go back to France. Where are they learning stuff like that from?"

"I blame the parents," Francis says, displeased. "That's disgusting. If he needs anything, let us know. I'll even punch the kid that's bullying him's dad."

"Join the queue," Kenna mutters bitterly. "Thank you, guys. We'll see you later. Right now, we need to make sure he's okay."

After they are all secured in their car, Kenna turns around to face Adrien who has tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell us, sweetie?" Kenna asks softly.

Adrien looks down. "Perri was sick and you and Dad were worried about her. I didn't want to make things worse."

Bash turns around too as he says, "But that doesn't mean we'd ignore you, Little Man! And hey, I _want_ to hear you call me 'papa'. I love hearing your little voice. _Never_ be ashamed of being who you are."

Kenna nods. "You're Scottish, French, you've even got a little bit of Africa in you from Nana Joanna! You should be so proud of yourself because you're a special little boy and those boys who say mean things and hurt you, they aren't special. They pick on others to make themselves feel better, but you know what? You turn the other cheek and _show them_, you're made of tough stuff."

Bash chuckles, sending a smile in Adrien's way. "You hear that?"

"Yeah," Adrien says quietly, wiping his tears as a small smile plays on his lips.

"Do you know what they say about Scottish people?" Bash asks coyly.

"No."

Kenna gives him a look. "Sure you do!"

Adrien giggles. "No!"

"They're strong! Like crazy strong with big muscles!"

"No, they're not!"

"Have you seen my daddy, and my brothers?" Kenna asks, gasping.

"They're scrawny!" Adrien replies.

Kenna sighs. "Yeah, they are. But when they're threatened, they grow their big muscles and defeat whoever hurts them and do you know what they say about French people?"

Adrien nods shyly. "They are the people of love."

Bash nods in confirmation as he says, "Yes, so with your Scottish side, you are strong enough and with your French side, you have so much love in you," Bash tells him. "And when your powers are combined..."

"You are strong enough to love them, to kill your enemies with kindness," Kenna tells him. "In the Bible, in Luke chapter six, verse 28, _bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you._ Also, Matthew chapter six, verses fourteen to fifteen, _For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins._"

Bash nods. "Do you remember when you hurt that boy from school during the Summer when Mama was not there?"

Adrien nods in shame. "Yeah."

"He forgave you, didn't he? He's one of your best friends now, too," Bash replies.

"Yeah."

"So, if you forgive the boys who hurt you, God will forgive you for hurting your friend."

Adrien nods in understanding. "But they don't like me."

"So what?" Kenna cries out dramatically. "I like you, Adrien! Papa likes you! Your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your grandparents... We all like you, baby! Guess what? So do your friends. _Those who matter, do not mind. Those who mind, do not matter._"

"Coming out with these quotes, eh babe?" Bash teases her. "But Mama's right in all seriousness. Those boys do not deserve to be your friend, ignore them. They're not important at all."

Sharing a kiss with her husband, Kenna returns her attention to their son and says, "Who wants ice cream?

"It's Thursday, though," Adrien says, pouting.

"Who cares?" Bash asks. "I think you need a treat and-"

"It's on Daddy, so get as _many_ scoops as you want!" Kenna tells him, patting Bash's shoulder as she sits properly. "Chauffer, start the engine!"

...

After they spend the evening eating ice cream, pizza and watching two movies, Bash reads Adrien to sleep as Kenna puts down Perrine for the night.

She turns on the baby monitor and leaves the room, watching her baby sleep through the screen.

She jumps when she feels arms wrap around her waist and she willingly leans back into her husband's embrace.

"That was quick," she whispers. "I'm surprised with all the sugar he had."

"I think he was emotionally drained," Bash replies. "He cried a little, but he's fine now."

Stepping out of his reach, she turns to him and says, "Why didn't you notice this when I wasn't here?"

"Kenna, I thought he was upset and quiet because of you," Bash tells her. "I should have dug deeper, got him to open up to me. I'm sorry, I'm still learning."

"It's fine," she mumbles, crossing her arms as her hand still grips onto the device that shows their daughter sleeping soundly. "In France, Adi always came to me with his problems and... I've missed that. Now, he feels like he can't talk to either of us and I feel so guilty because of everything that's happened since _everything_. We're off and on, up and down and Adrien is in the middle of it."

Bash nods sadly, leaning against the wall. "It's going to take a lot more than ice cream and holidays. Maybe, we should change his therapy schedule from once a month to twice a month. And we could do family therapy as well as couples'."

"Yeah," she replies quietly. "I'll see what days we can do. You best get going now."

She steps forward, planting a long kiss on his lips and pulls away before it can go any further. They did that a couple of times, stopping before making love and losing themselves.

"Urm, I promised Francis and Mary that you'd take the kids to school for them whilst they go for a scan. They have some concerns they'd like to address with their midwife," Kenna tells him, running a hand up and down his chest. "So, bright and early tomorrow."

"Anything else?" Bash asks her, leaning his forehead against hers.

She shakes her head. "No," she whispers then falters a bit. "Sh-Should we talk about you moving in? I-I feel like we should at least put a date on it. It's weird having you leave after Adi's down for bed, not that I'm not used to it already, but..."

"I get it. Well, we're not ready for that. When we are, we will know and it will feel right and natural. Either way, we're getting there," he replies.

"Oh, okay," she then says, smiling a little. "Don't let me keep you. I don't want you to drive so late."

Kissing her one last time, he tells her, "I love you. See you later."

Watching him go down the stairs, she calls out, "I love you, too."

After he gets into his car, Bash's phone goes off and he slips it out of his pocket and sees a text from his sister, Louise.

{From Loulou: **Police came looking for you. Asked about Henry's death. Anything we should know, Sébastien?**}

Resisting the urge to send her the de-French version of his name, he quickly typed out a reply.

{To Loulou: **No. I was in Arizona when he died.**}

{From Loulou: **They asked for Mama, too. Be careful.**}

{To Loulou: **I will. Thanks for the heads up.**}

Eyeing his rearview mirror and seeing the lights on in his brother's house. He gets out of his car and locks it, heading across the street. The door opens just as he reaches up to knock on it.

"Hey, I saw you get out of your car," Mary says, inviting him inside. "You okay? Did Kenna tell you about picking up the kids for us?"

"She did and I'm good," he replies. "Is Francis around?"

She shakes her head. "He just went out not too long ago. Do you want to wait for him? I'm sure he'll be back soon, it is quite late to be out."

He contemplates the offer. On the one hand, it's late and he could always talk to Francis at some point tomorrow. On the other hand, he needs to know if the police have tried looking for Francis.

"I'll give him ten minutes," Bash finally says, following her into the dimly lit kitchen. "Adrien's better by the way. Let the kids know how sorry we are that they couldn't watch TV together."

"Oh, it's fine," Mary replies, opening the fridge and retrieving some juice. "Orange juice is fine?"

"Yep," he says, accepting an empty glass. "Thanks."

She smiles, filling it up halfway before taking a seat beside him with her own glass. She sighs wistfully and tuts a few times.

He turns to her. "Lay it on me."

At first, she is surprised, but then her facade falls and she gives Bash a wry smile as she says, "Francis and I... we're going through a rough patch. I think it's the pregnancy. He was a bit blindsided about it, but he's happy. At least, I think he is." She quickly waves her hand. "You don't need to know about my issues, you already have lots. Did Perrine get down easily?"

"You and Kenna are alike," Bash replies teasingly. "Always changing the damn subject before anyone can get a word in. I'm sorry that you're going through a rough patch. Honestly, Kenna and I are experts at going through rough patches. And yes, she did go down better than before from Kenna's words."

She smiles at the information about her niece before spinning the conversation back to her. "But you can't give me sound advice?" Mary asks knowingly.

He replies with an apologetic smile. "Kenna and I, we're taking it a day at a time. I mean, we're in so many therapy courses right now. I highly doubt we can give anyone advice. However, you guys have gone through a lot and you've faced it head-on, unlike Kenna and me. I think you'll both be just fine."

Mary studies him curiously, a smile playing on her lips. "You seem different. Liberated, happy. I don't think I know of a time you were like that. Not even with me."

"I... I had to work for something that was _mine_. I had to be worthy of someone else and realise that the issues I had with my family shouldn't affect my life," he replies. "Enough about me. How's everything? Work, your family, whatever else..."

She chuckles lightly. "Work is great, yeah. We're expecting a big turnover by the end of the year and I'm cutting back my hours, even more, to spend time with the kids. We're planning on going on holiday with Jim and his new girlfriend. Maybe Hawaii, we haven't decided yet."

"Yeah, we're planning on going on holiday too, but with Perrine being unwell... Might be on the backburner for now," Bash replies, checking his watch. "I should go. It doesn't seem like he will be here soon and well, I've got an early start being carpool now."

Mary laughs as they get up and she leads him to the front door. She gives him a warm smile which he returns.

"Are you happy, Bash?" She asks softly, searching his eyes.

"Of course, I am," he tells her.

"You can talk to me about anything, you know. We used to be friends," she says to him, looking down. "I'm so sorry, I never really apologised for what happened between us... I wasn't the girl you thought I was and I never meant to lead you on, but I did and I truly believed..."

He frowns. "Truly believed what?"

"I-I don't know. Forget it," she says, waving it off. "It's probably my hormones-"

"Mary. What is it?" He asks her.

She looks up at him. "I truly believed that you could find happiness with someone else-"

"That's not it," he cuts her off. "Tell me."

"I still had feelings for you. There were days when I'd think about you, even after you and Kenna got married. I would wonder what would have happened if we stayed together, those sort of things..." She confesses. "It's crazy because I love Francis so much, it hurts. What you and I had ended abruptly and I'd admit, I was jealous at times and I had no right to be."

He pauses, staring at her in disbelief as he takes what she has just told him in. He can't really believe it, staring at the door and her a few times in thought.

"I'm sorry, I thought I should be honest. I definitely don't want to cause drama or anything-"

"What about now, Mary? Do you still feel anything?" He asks quietly.

"No."

"Good. Make sure it stays that way," he says firmly. "I should go-"

"I don't want this to ruin our friendship, Bash. I'm sorry, I should have kept quiet. I just had to get some sort of closure and," she replies, crossing her arms. "Yeah, it's late. Pick the kids up by eight."

He nods. "This doesn't change anything. The past is in the past. Tell Francis that we need to talk and I'll catch him up tomorrow."

As he leaves, he sees the curtains shift from Kenna's bedroom window. His heart skips a beat and he gets into his car, starting it up immediately. He picks his phone up and unlocks it, sending a quick text to his wife.

{To Kenna (Wife): **Let's set a goal for exactly a month's time if you want. Everything will be on your terms x**}

He waits patiently for a reply, but when he doesn't get one, he guesses that she's gone to bed.

That night, sleep doesn't come easy to him.


	25. Chapter 25

**We are starting off this chapter with a long flashback for once. Most of this chapter is snippets from the past. The next chapter is a continuation of the present day.**

* * *

_Four Years Ago, Germany_

Bash followed after his father, watching him greet a few prospective business partners. He wondered why Francis refused to come, citing that he had prior commitments that he couldn't reschedule.

"Sebastian! Meet Ray Schweiger and Nathan Hahn," his father told him, beckoning him over. "Gentlemen, my eldest, Sebastian."

Bash shook both men's hands and stepped back, inspecting the hotel that they were in. He could probably swing for another room for personal matters and enquiries.

His phone began to ring and he excused himself, going away to answer it.

"Kenna, hi."

_"Have you made it?"_ His wife asked as he heard her call out to their son. _"Not there, Adi! Walk back to Mama - Papa's on the phone."_

Bash sighed. "I can't talk right now," he told her, eyeing a woman wink at him. "You know how it is."

The woman smiled at him. She looked like Mary and for a while, Bash couldn't take his eyes off the brunette woman.

_"Yeah, 'course,"_ he heard his wife mumble on the other line. _"I'm sorry for calling. I just wanted to see if you were okay and if you got there safely. We both miss you, we can video call this night - see Adi's new shoes that Claude got him. They're Vuitton and-"_

"I can't. I'm expected to dine with these men. Get to know them over a bit of alcohol, that sort of thing," Bash replied, making his way over to the woman. "I'm sorry if I could change it, I would."

_"I've stopped believing that, you know that,"_ Kenna said sadly. _"Get us some souvenirs if I can't reach you at any time other than now. I'm sure people ask if the ring on your finger is purely just decorative."_

He stopped, looking down at his empty ring finger. "Don't be like that, babe."

_"But it's true. You don't spend any time whatsoever with us, even when you're home. You know what, Mary's calling - I'll call you..."_ She trailed off. _"I won't call you, you'll never bother anyway."_

She hung up and he rubbed a hand against his face. He turned to see that his father and the two men were heading towards the bar. Returning his attention to the woman, he completed his journey over to her and smiled.

"I was beginning to think you didn't like what you saw," the woman said in a thick German accent.

"Would I be here if I didn't?" He asked making her beam.

"Room 207. 11 PM, be there."

The next morning, he left the woman's room. He'd found out that her name was Claudia and she was the daughter of one of his father's new business partners. He hadn't cared, but he did ask that she kept what happened between them just that.

She had asked why the secrecy, it could help their business transaction. But when he pulled out the wedding ring, her face fell and she kicked him out, calling him names in German and French to his shock.

He glanced down at his vibrating phone, seeing his ever-faithful wife calling him. He didn't know what to do. His phone suddenly stopped buzzing and a text message came through with a picture attached to it.

{From Kenna: **Guess where we are? xx**}

The picture underneath showed a selfie of his wife carrying their son as they grinned for the camera in front of the hotel he was at.

"Shit," he muttered, heading to his room to get dressed in a fresh outfit and some perfume to mask the feminine one all over him.

Taking a moment to compose himself, he headed downstairs and met his wife speaking with a surprised Henry. They seemed to be flustered when he joined them, planting a kiss on his wife's cheek and ruffling his walking son's hair.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have imposed," she started to say, feigning innocence. "Your father just told me that you're in the middle of a really important deal. I should go."

One the one hand, he was relieved his father sorted this out since Claudia and her father were making their way over to greet them. On the other hand, he felt guilty and he should at least give her some attention. Like she was a flower wilting away.

"Herr Schweiger, Frauline Claudia," Henry suddenly said. "Meet my daughter-in-law, Kenna and my grandson, Adrien."

Claudia's eyes widened when they met Bash's and he quickly looked away, slipping an arm around his wife's waist.

"Lovely to meet you, Herr Schweiger," Kenna said with a polite smile, eyeing Claudia. "And you too, Fraulein Claudia."

"They're hoteliers," Henry explained to Kenna. "If you ever need a place to stay in Germany, Switzerland or Dubai, they are the ones to call. I'll forward you their details."

Kenna nodded, turning to Bash with her hand still gripping Adrien's. "I should find a flight and get home. Your mother is probably feeling all alone-"

"Don't be absurd," Henry cut her off. "Stay and join us for dinner. I'm sure you and Claudia can talk about fashion or whatever it is women talk about."

Kenna turned to her husband and saw that his eyes fell. She quickly shook her head.

"I shouldn't. I came on a whim and well, I'm busy on a project at work-"

"Stay," Bash whispered. "We can sort out a nanny for Adrien."

"I guess that I am staying," she announced numbly, Henry beaming happily as he sent his son a warning look. "I should get refreshed."

"We'll be in the restaurant for breakfast," Schweiger told her. "It is lovely to meet you, Frau Poitiers."

Kenna blushed furiously, wondering if she was one - a _missus_. Her husband paid her no mind and all she did was sit around waiting for him.

"And you, sir," she replied politely as Henry led the father and daughter duo away.

She stepped out of Bash's grip and sighed. She could smell Claudia's perfume on him, she wasn't stupid. Alas, she remained silent and walked past him to the front desk to book a room.

"Don't be stupid, you're both staying with me," she heard Bash tell her as she took her purse and card out. "We can have Adrien right in the middle of us just like at home." He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"And how long are you staying for, ma'am?" The manager asked her with a smile on his face at the sight of her card.

"Just a night," she replied, shoving Bash's hand off her shoulder.

The manager nodded, telling his employee to retrieve the access card for her. He quickly sorted out her room and details before handing her the card.

"Thank you very much. Can you get someone to bring up our bags?" She asked.

"Of course," he said, ordering a bell boy.

Kenna bent down and picked Adrien up, slipping her handbag over her other shoulder as she headed to the lift. She was fully aware that Bash was following her and she didn't want to make a scene.

Not just yet.

Getting to her room, she placed Adrien on the floor and took a toy out of her bag for him to play with as she finally turned to Bash.

"Was she good?"

"What?" He breathed out. "What are you talking about? Was who good, babe?"

She blinked, nodding. "I'm being silly, aren't I? Of course, you'd have to spend time with her. Henry's having you play her to get to her father."

"Kenna..." Bash said softly, pulling her to him. "The only times I've been with her is when I met her yesterday with her father and this morning with you and my father."

She smiled, pressing her lips against his hungrily but he quickly pulled away. She started to leave his grip but he began kissing her neck, trailing kisses down her collarbone.

"B-Bash," she breathed out, eyeing their son. "Adi's here."

He pulled away. "Did you bring the baby monitor?"

She nodded, taking it out of her bag and setting up. She quickly grabbed her phone and followed Bash into the bedroom, closing the doors slightly so they could still see their toddler.

"I've missed you," she whispered, unzipping her dress as their lips met again. "So much."

"Hm-hm," he replied, leaving her lips as he began unbuttoning his shirt. "Can you... can you not come unannounced next time?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She immediately froze, shoving his hands away from her body as she sat on the bed. "I-I see how this is. You go off to get away from me, right? W-What did I do wrong?"

She played with her wedding ring, tears falling down her cheeks as her husband stood there, breathlessly as he ran his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong, Bash," she continued. "I-I just thought..." She sighed. "We'll be gone by tomorrow morning."

She stood up, struggling to zip her dress up. She could feel his presence in front of her and she dared not to look up.

Her hands were gently coaxed from the zip and he pulled it down the remaining way, slipping the dress from his wife's shoulders.

"You did _nothing_ wrong," he croaked out, too scared to look her in the eye. "I don't deserve you _at all_."

Finally, he lifted her chin and studied the tears glistening in her eyes. He kissed them as each tear fell, his arm bringing Kenna closer to him.

_I'm sorry_, he thought, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I love you," he said aloud.

She released a strangled sob at his words, almost collapsing in his arms, but he kept her upright. Hugging her tight against him as he whispered soothing sweet nothings into her ear. Everything she wanted to hear, everything he wasn't sure he even meant.

She deserved better. So much better. As his wife, as the mother of his son, as the only one willing to put up with all his bullshit even if she didn't know the full situation of the man she had married.

"I'll cancel breakfast. We can see them at dinner instead," he said to her, immediately pressing his lips against hers desperately. "Whatever you want, tell me."

Surprised she nodded, whispering something into his ear which made them both smile.

"Do you think you can... do that for me?" She asked huskily, the slight shyness coming out of her with her voice getting higher.

"Let's see," he replied, lifting her and laying her down on the bed. "I probably can."

A while later, Bash got out of bed and left his wife sleeping. He had gone to check on Adrien a few times, eventually putting the boy down for a nap in his travel cot.

Now, the toddler was wide awake, talking to himself as he patiently waited to be let out of the cot.

"Hi, Little Man," Bash said quietly, bringing his son to his bare chest. "Did my Little Man have a nice nap?"

Adrien nodded, making Bash grin as he placed a kiss on the child's head.

"Let's get you something to eat and... let's surprise Mama," Bash told the toddler. "Mama's been feeling sad and we want to make her all better, okay?"

Adrien once again nodded as Bash retrieved his wallet and headed over to the telephone. He ordered room service, a full breakfast for himself, Kenna and something for Adrien. He then called to request that someone help him buy some items for him.

By the time Kenna woke up an hour later, she was surprised to see breakfast fully laid out with her family already eating.

"Hi," she said, running a hand through her hair. "I fell asleep. Sorry about that, must have been because we flew in quite early."

"No, it's fine," Bash waved it off, gesturing for her to take a seat. "I got your favourite."

She grinned, but when her eyes landed on the plate in front of her her smile disappeared. French Toast wasn't her favourite, it was Mary's. Kenna enjoyed a full English on a normal day.

"What's wrong with it? Is it cold? We can complain-"

"No, it's fine," she said shortly. "I suddenly don't feel hungry anymore..."

"Why? Are you okay?"

She nodded, pushing the plate away from her. "Yeah," she whispered. "I think it's the flight messing up with my insides. Delayed reaction or something."

"We worked up quite an appetite," Bash replied, kissing her neck.

Moving away from his lips, she nodded. "But I feel nauseous. I might have to raincheck on dinner."

She thought about how Claudia looked like Mary a bit, finally piecing together her husband's awkwardness and the German woman refusing to meet her eyes. Something happened between them, and now, instead of her, Bash was thinking about her best friend and this other woman.

"Yeah, sure," her husband replied. "Do you need anything for-"

There was a knock on the door and he smiled at her, gesturing for her to answer it.

With a frown, she got up and opened the door. She stepped back when four or five people came in with various branded shopping bags in their hands. She counted them all, there had to be at least thirty bags there.

As Bash tipped them each and saw them out, she headed to the first few bags, pulling out dresses and shoes.

"W-What is all of this?" She asked him, standing to show him the items she held.

"I figured you'd want to shop without the need to leave the hotel and Adrien as I work. Anything you like, you can keep. We can return the things you don't like. There's another batch scheduled in an hour's time."

She looked down, taken back. "W-What if I like all of them?"

"Then you can keep them," he replied, handing her his card. "Whatever else you want, it's on me."

"I have my own money," she told him, pushing his card back to his chest. "And Bash... I-I don't want any of this - the gifts or-or shopping. I came here so we could spend time as a family for the first time in _months_. I didn't come to be treated to stuff I don't need, I'm not shallow! Material shit won't work on me, Sebastian," she snapped. "You're so thoughtless sometimes... And French Toast isn't my favourite!"

She turned and headed to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. She sat down against the bathtub and sobbed, wondering what she could do.

She felt so lonely, so unwanted. He never got her gifts since they were married and now, he was spoiling her. He felt guilty and she was scared to know the reason why even though deep down, it was obvious - see-through like glass.

Kenna wasn't a stupid woman, she knew when she was being played. Why she never let him on that she knew or said anything was a mystery to her. If she left him, she'd been known as the woman who couldn't keep a husband, she could stand to lose a lot. Money, her son, her home, her 'friends'... She thought she could have it all. The lifestyle, the husband, the children, the house, the money...

She had all, but she never really had a husband. The ring on her finger was a lie. A lie she went along with and fell for every single time despite knowing the warning signs.

"Kenna?" Bash called her, cautiously. "C-Can I come in?"

Shakily, she stood up and unlocked the door. She walked past him to the bed and sat down, pulling her legs underneath her.

"Sorry for my outburst," she said to him. "I... Bash, I came because..."

"Because?" He asked, kneeling in front of her.

Her eyes met his nervously. "I think I'm pregnant. I've not done a test-"

"Really?" He asked, a smile on his face. "Kenna, I'll have someone bring up a few tests and we can-"

"Now, you care about me?" She asked, watching his face fall. "You only ever care when I'm carrying your child. Other times, you don't see me or notice me unless I'm practically naked, waiting for you. I'm trying to hold our marriage together and..."

"Kenna, I'm sorry. I'll do better, I'll try. I promise to try. I know I haven't been good to you, God you deserve more... I'll try, don't leave me," he whispered, kissing her.

Like the idiot she was, she believed his words. "Okay. Let's do those tests."

_Negative_. All five tests were all _negative_.

Her moods were down to something else and she feared that it was coming back, going to creep on her unexpectedly. As Bash left the bathroom to tend to Adrien, she prayed that her depression hadn't come back.

She'd gained a bit of weight, tending to stress eat and snack on her favourite chocolate a bit more than usual. She felt tired, irritable and at times, she wanted to do absolutely nothing.

She quickly shoved the tests into her bag when she heard the door open and Henry's voice come through.

"We'll see you at eight," Bash told his father. "And I've called for a nanny, here's the number."

Once the door closed, Kenna left the bathroom and wondered where her son had gone to.

"Hahn has a grandson," he told her of his father's other business partner's relations. "He needed Adrien to get an in, I don't know."

"Don't use our son to help your father," Kenna cried out, ready to go and retrieve her baby, but Bash stopped her.

"We need to talk," Bash told her. "Come on."

She gave up and joined him on the bed, laying her head against his chest as tears stung her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I truly believed I was pregnant... It would explain my awful moods."

"Maybe it's stress at work?" He suggested. "You have been working really hard at work, love."

She nodded. "Yeah..."

"Maybe we should start trying," he suddenly said. "I miss the days when Adrien was a baby and we'd sit down, watching the moon and stars."

She looked up to stare into his eyes. "R-Really?"

"I mean, why not? I'll cut back my hours and I'll travel less. You'll be able to keep working if you want - we can make this work. I think we should start trying, we both want lots of kids and it's not like we don't have space-"

He was cut off by Kenna kissing him deeply, a smile gracing her lips. "Yeah, okay. Uh, I'll work out the perfect time to be trying. We will have to track my-"

"We will do that, but first before we bring scientific stuff or whatever into this, can we just do it?" He asked, chuckling when she pulled a face. "We're meant to enjoy it, _relax_. Not worry about the next scheduled sex we'll have."

Blushing, Kenna nodded and pulled his shirt off over her head. Her lips met his happily as he quickly adjusted them so she was underneath and he was above her.

There was no time for building anything up as she gasped in surprise.

"B-Bash," she breathed out. "What's got into you?" She giggled.

He kept silent, meeting her lips in a chaste kiss before his lips moved to her neck.

"It must be my birthday because this is the first time we've ended up in bed more than once," she jested, clutching his hair as she ran her other hand up and down his back.

She let go first, placing a long kiss on the pressure point on his neck. He replied with a shiver and whisper of a name which made her freeze.

Pulling back, she stared into his eyes in shock and she felt him still in her arms.

"What did you just say?" She asked him.

"Kenna-"

"Did you just call me 'Mary'?" She asked, shoving him off her. "Oh my, God!"

"Kenna-"

She pulled herself out of his grip and went to the bathroom, immediately emptying her stomach contents into the toilet. Sobs escaped her lips as she shook, closing her eyes in heartbreak.

During dinner, she barely spoke. She answered questions from a nervous Claudia and an excited Schweiger and then she remained silent. She barely ate too, citing that she was too full from the breakfast. The breakfast that she never even ate.

After dinner, she left first. She headed to the front desk and requested that her room should be cancelled and she'll pay any fees on the room. When she was done, she had someone help her pack the designer things on Bash's card, deciding she'd keep them as consolation, before she went to retrieve Adrien.

That night, she got the earliest flight out of Germany and she even waited at the airport so she didn't run into anyone. It was a very brief journey, she'd expected it to be longer.

Her phone rang and she tutted, readjusting her son in her arms so she could take the noise-making item from her bag. She hung up when she saw who it was and turned to her son.

"Maybe we should go on our own little holiday, hmm?" She asked the boy. "Where does Adrien want to go?"

"Home," Adrien sweetly said, one of the words he knew.

Kenna sighed. "Well, Papa will find us there. Can we go somewhere else? Like... Australia! That's far, isn't it? And fun."

She looked around, seeing couples walking about happily with their children. The real families. Something hers wasn't and won't ever be. Right then, she admitted defeat.

"Okay, home it is," she mumbled.

Two weeks later, she had pushed what happened to the back of her mind, throwing herself into work.

When she got home that evening, she was surprised to see a dinner laid out for two. She hated the wine, picking it up as she inspected it - too bitter. And the flowers... God, she hated lilies. Mary loved them for some reason, she never knew.

She felt arms wrap around her waist and she feigned happiness. "Hi, you. When did you get back?"

"This afternoon. My mother said that you would be late getting home," Bash replied, helping her with her jacket and bag. "Sit."

"What's all of this for?" She knew exactly what it was for, but she wanted to see if he would admit fault.

"I don't know," he replied, eyeing her as he gave her things to one of their staff. "I thought we should have some dinner. Spend some time together."

She nodded. "Will you call me 'Mary'?" She asked nonchalantly, sniffing the food. It was risotto, she never had that before. "Looks good."

"Kenna, that was a mistake. I'm sorry. She'd called me asking about Francis and yes, they were on my mind," he told her, taking her hand. "I did not mean to call you by her name as we had sex-"

"Sex?" She repeated, picking up her fork and retrieving her hand. "So as man and wife, we're having sex and _not_ making love? I see."

"Kenna-"

"No, no. That's fine. Whatever you say goes, you are the main breadwinner after all," she said nonchalantly. "Excuse me for thinking I was worth more to my husband."

She picked up a piece of the food with her fork and placed it in her mouth, swallowing it whole. She chewed, enjoying the peculiar, new taste but as she chewed some more she could feel her tongue swelling up and her face becoming tighter.

"Kenna?" Bash called her in alarm, pouring out a glass of water for her.

"Mhm-" She felt around, trying to find something before she started pointing at the dish as she got up. "What's in..."

"Uh, cashew nuts, raisins... I-I don't know, I didn't-"

"Nutmeg?" She croaked out. "B-Bag!"

Bash stood up from the table, immediately heading upstairs to collect her handbag that the staff help had helped her put in their room. He turned it upside down, feeling through her lipgloss, purse and other items before he found her EpiPen.

Frowning, he headed back downstairs and helped her use it. When she had calmed down after a while, she shoved him away from her.

"Bash, I'm allergic to nutmeg!" She cried out, her voice hoarse as she gagged. "How did you forget that?!"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know. We don't even have nutmeg at home usually. I'm so sorry-"

She cut him off with, "Are you trying to kill me? Jesus, as if being called by your best friend's name in bed wasn't enough," she muttered darkly, groaning as her stomach began to churn.

"Since when did you have any allergies?" Bash asked her in confusion.

"Oh my, God!" She breathed out, glaring at him. "Even Adrien is allergic to nutmeg! You know that, but you didn't remember that I'm allergic to it? It was the first thing I told you when we had our first date and you tried ordering for me!"

"I'm so sorry, Kenna," he said, starting to clear up. "I'll order something in-"

"Lost my appetite. I need to use the toilet before everything just comes out," she replied, standing up with the glass of water and her EpiPen. "I can see that you're trying, don't get me wrong, and I love you for that. Where's Adrien?"

"My mother's got him," he replied, watching her walk out and head up the stairs.

He threw the napkin on the table and rubbed his face, slipping his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and entering his text messages.

{To Mary: **Kenna's allergic to nutmeg?**}

{From Mary: **Yes, why?**}

{To Mary: **Fed it to her by accident. I fucked up real bad...**}

{From Mary: **Jesus, Bash! How did you not know she was allergic? We made sure nutmeg wasn't in the wedding food list and she's told you this a million times before. What you need to do is some damage control. Flowers, chocolates, the whole thing.**}

{To Mary: **Help?**}

{From Mary: **Purple roses, dark chocolate, McDonald's. The last one depending on if she wants to eat or not. Jesus, Bash...**}

After leaving the remains of their unfinished dinner to the kitchen staff to clear up, he went to go and retrieve these items for his wife by himself.

By the time he got home, she was in bed watching a movie on their TV. She had the lamp on and she looked upset, not angry as she was earlier, just upset.

"I've got you some things..." He trailed off, taking a cautious step towards her.

She shrugged, gesturing for him to put them on the bed.

"My mother said you haven't been eating properly these past two weeks," he continued, handing her the McDonald's bag. "I got you some flowers and dark chocolate. I've also got you a Big Mac burger and large fries with a Vanilla milkshake. Your usual order."

She smiles a little. "You remembered."

"Of course, I did," he told her, getting into the bed after he took his shoes off. "It was your go-to order when you were pregnant with Adi. You need to eat, you're getting thinner."

"I don't have an appetite," she mumbled, starting to eat the chips as her eyes remained on the TV. "I don't feel the need to do anything lately."

"Talk to me, what's wrong? Is it my fault?"

She nodded. "Partly... Amongst other things," she admitted. "Bash, I have de-"

A phone began to ring and she realised it was hers. Sighing, she cleaned her hands with a tissue and answered the call. It was work, asking that she came in earlier than usual because of an emergency.

Hanging up, she told Bash, "Work. I have to go in by six... I don't think I can handle this anymore."

"Why don't you quit?"

"Then I'd have nothing to do. You're never home and I'm just... here," she replied sadly. "It's not like the money I earn amounts to anything you earn."

"Why don't you do something that makes you happy?" Bash asked her, brushing her hair from her eyes.

Turning to him, she wondered what he was thinking about. He'd act so horrible, spending time with other women than her and then, he'd be sweet and caring and understanding.

"That's the problem, nothing makes me happy," she replied quietly. "Not like you or Adrien do. I'd rather spend time with my family than work and have nothing to show for it."

"Okay. Here's the deal," Bash began. "You quit, I'll spend less time at work and we will work this out. Would it help if we moved or you know, got some time away from it all?"

She nodded, grinning. "Well, I wouldn't want your mum to be lonely so we don't have to move. But a nice holiday would be great."

"Yeah, where?"

"Australia."

"Australia, it is, then."

...

_Present Day_

The next morning, Bash arrives at Kenna's house to collect the children. He counts all the children to make sure that they are accounted for and straps Adrien and Anne into their booster seats.

"You didn't answer my text from last night," he tells his wife when he closes the door on Adrien's side.

"What were you and Mary talking about?" She cuts to the chase. She doesn't look upset, just curious.

He smiles at her. "Francis. He's giving her grief."

"Well, it's good that they have the morning to themselves then," she replies with a smile. "I get how it can be for dads when women are pregnant. Have you spoken to Francis about it?"

"I was planning to last night, but he never showed up. I'll catch him later on."

"Uncle Bash, I'm going to be late!" They hear Anne say from inside the car. "I want my gold star!"

"Okay!" Bash cries out, the couple laughing as he rounds the car and gets in. "Queen Anne needs to get to school on time."

Kenna winks at him as he lowers the window. "Good luck. I'll see you after?"

"Yeah, definitely," he replies, turning to face Anne who gives him a stern look. "We're going, kiddo! Jeez, you're scary when you're like that..."

Kenna waves at them as he backs out of the driveway and finally down the road. Once they're out of sight, she heads back inside and picks Perrine up. She presses a kiss onto the baby's cheek and strokes her cheek.

"Hey, Little Mama," Kenna whispers. "What should we do before Papa comes home? Read a book? Play with your toys...?"

Perrine doesn't even pay her any mind as she looks around, her fist in her mouth. She makes sounds, almost leaping from Kenna's arms which makes the woman giggle.

"You've got strong legs - might play football or something with those," she says to her daughter. "Come on then, let's go and read a story."

...

_Four Years Ago, Australia_

"It was lovely of Bash to organise this," Greer said, sipping her strawberry daiquiri. "A couples' holiday, exactly what we needed."

Kenna turned to her friend with a small smirk. "Is that so? What's up?"

"Aloysius and I have been trying for another baby... We've been unsuccessful and he blames himself," Greer explained sadly. "We're going to see our doctors when we get back home to the kids."

Mary reached over, rubbing the blonde's hand as Lola patted her shoulder in consolation. Mary was expecting again and she and Francis couldn't be happier to add to their family of four. Soon four would be five.

"Well?" Mary turned to Kenna.

"'Well' what?" Kenna replied.

"We've all said our woes or testimonies, what about you?" Lola asked her.

Kenna shrugged, sipping her piña colada. "Bash and I are trying too, but..."

"What is it?" Greer asked.

Kenna bit her lip nervously, using her straw to stir her drink. She didn't know how to say this. They'd think ill of her and say that she was selfish. All she was doing was protecting herself, she wasn't ready.

"I'm still on the pill."

"Kenna!" They all cried out in shock.

Kenna winced. "I know, I'm horrible! Every time we take a test, I have to pretend I'm upset."

"Why, though?" Mary asked her, shaking her head in disbelief. "Did something happen?"

Kenna's eyes flashed in anger, but she kept her composure. She refrained from starting an argument where some things could be never taken back.

"I think he's having affairs," she whispered sadly. "Well, I _know_."

"Do you have evidence?" Greer asked her as they all turned to her in empathy.

"No, not really," Kenna replied. "He never texts or calls them, he just picks them up. Random women, anywhere, everywhere."

"How do you know?" Lola asked.

Kenna shrugged sadly. "I just do. The long weeks away, the shifty behaviour. I turned up in Germany out of the blue and he asked that I should never turn up unexpected like that. Like he was hiding something... He then called me by another woman's name in bed."

She refused to meet Mary's eyes, opting to focus on her drink instead, as her friends gasped in horror. Soon, they were patting her shoulders, saying comforting words and trying to assure her that she had it all wrong. She didn't even say that it was Mary's name he said.

"He also fed me the one thing I was allergic to and I've told him, time and time again, I'm allergic to nutmeg. What husband forgets the one thing that could kill his wife?" Kenna continued. "I just feel like my marriage is slipping away and all of you were right. I should never have married him. This is probably going to end up in a divorce or something, I don't know..."

_I should never have listened to Mary and got with Bash_, she thought.

"What am I doing?" She mumbled. "This isn't your problem, it's mine. Don't worry about it, forget what I said."

Later that night, Kenna was filing her nails. She pressed the cold file against the skin of her palm and dug in. As she pressed harder, she could feel her skin split and the heat rise as-

"Kenna, are you telling everyone that we're having marriage problems?"

Kenna quickly dropped the file and kicked it under the bed, getting up to see her husband enter their suite. She walked up to him, hands behind her back as she shrugged.

"Aren't we having them?" She retorted nonchalantly.

Bash sighed, rolling his eyes. "Kenna, I'd rather not have my _little _brother scold me for having marriage problems with my wife. I told him to mind his own business by the way."

She watched as he headed to the bar, pouring a glass of whiskey for himself. She could see the annoyance and disappointment in his eyes and she walked up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell them anything," she whispered, kissing him.

He pulled away. "And you told the girls that I'm having affairs?"

She froze, her eyes darting away from his as she backed away.

"That I tried to kill you with nutmeg? Kenna, you have a wild imagination and I'd rather you not paint me as a terrible husband!" He cried out. "Maybe, _you're_ the one having affairs."

"What?" She breathed out, eyes wide as she turned to him.

"Early mornings, late nights? Damn it, Kenna!" He asked, referencing her working her two months notice off.

She then noticed that he was a bit drunk, his words slightly slow as he downed his drink and passed her to get to the bed. She followed after, keeping her hands behind her back as she watched him kick his loafers off.

"Bash, I'm not having any affairs," she told him, sitting beside him on the bed. "I didn't mean to let everyone know about our issues, I thought that I could seek some counsel or something. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled. "I'm being stupid, love. Of course, you'd be feeling lonely and... I'm working on that, okay? Soon, you'll have most of me."

She smiled a little. "Your dad has the remaining parts of you?"

"The less important parts," Bash replied, pulling her to straddle his hips. "I have to save all the important parts for my beautiful, sexy wife."

She giggled, pressing her lips against his as she cupped his cheeks. He began undoing the bow behind her neck that kept her dress up, shifting so he laid down with her on top of him.

"Hmm," he mumbled after a moment, backing away from her hands. "There's something warm and... sticky?"

She rolled off him, sitting down on the bed as she stared at her hand, using the other to keep her dress covering her frame. The hand she dug the file into. She hadn't even noticed the pain or blood.

"You're bleeding," he husband stated in alarm. He stood up, pulling her up as he grabbed her other hand and led her into the bathroom.

As he searched for a First Aid Kit, she stared at the blood caking her whole left hand and her husband's right cheek.

"Does it hurt?" He asked as he started to clean the blood off with antiseptic wipes.

She shook her head prematurely because she winced, gasping in pain as she pulled her hand to her chest.

"What did you do to it?" He asked, taking her hand back gently. "Kenna, this looks deep. You might need stitches."

"I don't think it needs that," she replied. She knew from the past. She could always determine how deep her scars were, it was why he couldn't see the faint lines on her wrists that well. She also thanked her parents for her complexion.

"Are you a doctor?" Her husband teased, grabbing a plaster.

She smiled a little. "No, I've had scrapes like this before. Football can get ugly."

"Right?" He replied, making her giggle as he placed the plaster onto her cut on the thick part under her thumb. "All done. If it's not as deep as I thought, should heal nicely."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for telling the girls about the whole assumed affairs, nutmeg and the other name-calling in bed situations. You're really good to me and you care," she said, noticing as his eyes fell and he looked down, rubbing her palm to not look her in the eyes. "I love you, Bash."

"Yeah," he whispered, kissing her hand. "Come on, order something for us to eat as I clean my face up."

She nodded and watched as he ran the tap. Heading outside, she wondered how quick it took for him to change her mind this time. He was getting better at it, she noticed sadly.

She couldn't complain, Bash was better than her past lovers.

...

_Present Day_

Kenna stares at the file inside the bathroom drawer. It lays there, all shiny and neat inside the little space she's made for her nail care items. She hasn't cut since she was a teenager, but staring at the file reminds her of the last time she used it to pierce her skin. It wasn't cutting, it was curiosity.

She picks the file and sits down on the closed toilet, twirling it between her fingers. It was cold and she lifts her left hand to stare at the faint scar on her palm. Bash was surprised to see that it made a scar, wondering if stitches would have helped, but she didn't mind back then.

The scar reminds her of the times Bash would sing lies to her and she would fall for it. She feels nervous just staring at the file. She doesn't even know why it haunts her now, she's used files many times since then.

Using the file, she traces the scar on her palm. She is transfixed about the whole thing, the memories of her young teenage years plaguing her mind.

Everything is different now. She's a mum of two, a wife, a completely different person to who she was growing up and at the beginning of her marriage, the first time. Withdrawing the file, she places it back in the drawer just as the bathroom door opens and Bash enters with their daughter in his arms.

"Here she is!" He tells the baby. "You okay?"

She nods, heading out as he follows behind. "I'm good."

"Let me see."

"Hmm?" She asks, stopping abruptly by the top of the stairs.

He gestures to her hand. "Let me see."

A giggle leaves her lips before she's full-on laughing, shoving her hand in her husband's face as he inspects it. She even shoves the other one in his face to let him see that there was nothing.

"Bash, I haven't cut in at least over a decade!" She tells him. That's a lie.

"Be honest with me, Kenna. I've promised not to see other women, at least promise me you won't cut yourself or try to kill yourself."

"Sebastian!" She snaps. "How _dare_ you even assume-"

"A few months ago, you tried drowning yourself on the day of your best friend's wedding. Even before that, on Christmas Day before we..." He stares, studying her face in fear. "I can't lose you."

She steps towards him, planting a sweet kiss on his lips before saying, "Bash, I'll be honest... When we went to Australia for that couples' holiday, I did purposely cut myself, well dig the file into my palm. When you didn't press the matter, I forgot about it. Since then, I've been good. Today... I was just thinking about that day - nothing more."

"Promise?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I promise," she whispers back. "I'll never try anything like that again."

She has already made this promise to her brother, this time she's honest and she intends to hold her promise to her family. She can't try any of that ever again, she needs to sort herself out.

"I was honest," she starts. "Now you have to be."

"Yeah?"

"You and Mary. Last night."

"Honestly, we just spoke about generic stuff-"

"A month will turn into two, two will turn into three and eventually... I won't have you in my home if all you tell me is lies," she cuts him off.

He sighs and heads into Perrine's room to put her in the cot as she plays with the things around her. He turns to Kenna and crosses his arms nervously. He doesn't know what this would do to their relationship or to hers and Mary's relationships. The four of them, him, Francis, Mary and Kenna - they've all hurt their relationships somehow, but it was always Bash and Mary who did the most harm.

He and Francis were brothers, he would never do anything to hurt his brother again. He'd have Francis rather than anyone else, any decision made. Kenna and Mary were the same, they'd put each other before him and Francis. They were practically sisters, their lives were entwined since the moment they were born.

"You remember our first wedding day?"

"Unfortunately," she replies, sitting down.

"And when I told her that I..."

"You loved her, yes," Kenna finishes for him. "And she told you that she didn't love you back."

He swallows deeply, nodding. "She admitted that she still had feelings for me back then. That she lied. She needed closure and I felt so uncomfortable so I waited until they'd gone so I'd end up getting the kids from you."

"Tell me all she said."

"She said she was jealous, that she had no reason to be because she had James, John and Francis and you and I were together in France... She wondered what would have happened if she and I stayed together. I didn't-I left straight away, Kenna. I swear, she told me that she didn't love me anymore - she just needed closure. It's you for me, believe-"

"I believe you," she cuts him off. "If this was four years ago, I wouldn't have. Or even before the divorce. I know there's nothing between you and Mary and there will never be. And... I believe her too."

He looks at her in surprise. "You do?"

Kenna nods. "Mary and I both had difficult pasts and with the loss of her father and lack of her mother's attention, it was easy for her to believe she held feelings for two guys at the same time. Mary always had her way, always got what she wanted and when you were married to me, she found it hard to let go. I'd definitely need to talk about that with her, but I believe you both. She's lucky I won't give her a laldy."

"A-A what?"

Kenna grins. "A _laldy_. That means 'a beating' in Scottish," she replies. "God, the girls and I used to say that all the time because growing up with older and younger brothers to annoy you was on a whole new level of sibling rivalry. I'll teach you some Scottish words."

"I'm excited," he replies. "Honestly, I'm honoured. The first Scottish word I know means 'beating'. What was the first French word you learnt?"

"Bonjour!" Kenna tells him, getting up to kiss him. "Now, au revoir because I need to visit Greer."

"What for?"

"Some stuff she needs to get off her chest to someone that is _not_ Aloysius and well, Lola's at work."

Bash frowns. "Oh, I thought we could spend time together, but if you need to go then go."

"You have me every day," she tells him.

"Do I really?" He asks her, brushing her cheek. "Just thirty minutes?"

"To do what?"

"Talk? I don't know. I just... I need to be around you, to make sure you're real and-"

"I'm not going to disappear?" She finishes, smiling a little. "I'm here. We're good. Okay, since we've taken care of the kids for them this morning, I'm sure Mary and Francis can take Adi and Perri for us for a few hours this evening. How about that?"

Bash grins, kissing her softly. "Yeah. After I've caught up with that brother of mine, I'm yours."

"Good. Forever?"

"Forever."


	26. Chapter 26

**Warning: This chapter includes cutting and mentions of suicide. It's not graphically explained in detail, so read at your discretion. Love the feedback coming from you guys, it's wonderful to write for people who love this story just as much as the love that goes into writing it. Thank you all.**

* * *

_Kenna, Aged 16_

Kenna's hands shook as she tried writing the answers to the practice History questions down. On a good day, she would have been excelling in answering any questions from any of her chosen subjects.

Today, she was a nervous bundle of wrecks, scratching answers down. She didn't care if they were wrong or right, she just had to hurry up, wait for the bell to ring and request to see the nurse.

As the invigilators collected their mock exams, Kenna whispered into the ear of one and soon, she collected her clear pencil case, water bottle and left. She headed in the direction of the medical room, changing courses to the toilets instead.

She sat down on the closed toilet seat and retrieved the compass from her pencil case, thanking God she was one of those people who always came prepared no matter what exam it was.

She pressed her thumb onto the sharp point, feeling herself breathe out in relief and close her eyes. Tears sprung to her eyes and she leant her head against the wall of the stall.

"Kenna?" She heard Lola call out. "Kenna, are you in here?"

Kenna cursed, shoving the compass back into her pencil case before picking her bottle up and leaving the stall. She placed her things by the sink and washed the blood away as Lola fixed her hair.

"Figured as much. Greer used to play that nurse card all the time. What's up?" Lola asked her.

"Where are the girls?"

"Aylee and Mary went to get something to eat and Greer's outside," Lola replied, turning to her. "Are you okay?"

Kenna quickly nodded, giving her a smile. "I felt like throwing up. It's all out of my system, don't worry about it."

"Could you be pregnant?" Lola asked, eyebrows raised.

"Unlike Aylee, I've not had the pleasure of having sex," Kenna told Lola. "It's nothing, Dad cooked last night and it wasn't the best thing in the world."

Lola accepted her answer. "What was dinner like?"

"Quiet, as usual," Kenna said wistfully. "Mum and Dad asked if I was going to get at least all As for my mocks."

"Don't worry about that," Lola replied. "Just think about yours and Mary's birthday party this weekend! It's going to be amazing."

Kenna smiled a little, heading out of the bathroom first with her things. Together, the three girls headed to their form room and got their bags. Kenna couldn't help but feel sick and nervous, remaining quiet as the other girls continued to talk about her and Mary's birthday party.

She couldn't shrug the sinking feeling in her stomach that something was wrong with her.

The morning after the party, she woke up smelling a man's aftershave or perfume, she couldn't tell. She glanced upwards, seeing Mary crashed out on the sofa and Lola on the armchair as Aylee and Greer shared a blanket on the ground.

Rubbing her face, she sat up, feeling a suit jacket slip down her shoulders. She grabbed the jacket and inspected it, noticing that it was an Armani suit jacket. She racked her memory to remember who gave her this and why she kept it.

"Sebastian," she mumbled to herself, feeling the hangover starting to come on. "Ah!"

She noticed that they were at Mary's house and her mother wasn't home. The butler noted that she was awake, stating that he would start getting the chef to prepare them some breakfast. She didn't feel hungry anyway, but she nodded and headed upstairs to get dressed into something less dressy and more comfortable.

She put Bash's jacket in her bag and retrieved tracksuit bottoms and a plain tee. She had a shower before she got dressed and after getting dressed, she sat down on the floor of the bathroom and sighed.

She picked her phone up and called her mother.

_"Darling, do you need me or Dad to pick you up? We're at work, but Mortimer is on standby too if this meeting overruns,"_ Her mother's voice rang through.

"Mum... I-I think it's time," Kenna whispered, looking down.

Her mother sighed heavily._ "I'll pick you up then. Do you need an emergency appointment?"_

"Call Dr Carey, too," she replied sadly. "I... I'm just tired, Mama. I-I don't know what to do..."

She began sobbing, her mother saying comforting things into her ear as she could hear the sound of her mother getting into her car.

_"I'm coming, baby girl. Mama's got you."_

The moment she took the antidepressants, her mood was changed over the weeks that followed. She was calmer, quieter and her friends were becoming concerned.

"Are you okay?" Mary finally asked after they'd checked their results from their mocks.

"Yep."

"What did you get?"

Kenna shrugged, showing her friends her results. "Only failed History. Everything else was Bs."

"Understandable," Aylee said, rubbing her shoulder in comfort. "I got a C in History."

"I got an A," Mary mumbled. "Figured since I've got royal blood, eh?" She said lightly. "Don't worry about it, Kenna. That U would be an A-star, you'll see."

Kenna replied with a shrug of indifference. She didn't even care for her education now that nothing really meant much to her. She had her friends concerned about her behaviour and the fact that she was getting thinner than usual.

"Kenna, you can talk to us."

"Can I?" She retorted, slightly harsher than intended. "It's nothing, okay? I've-"

Her phone began ringing and her heart skipped a beat as she answered the call with a smile.

"Hi, Henry. I'll text you the details of that place," she told him. "I'm busy right now, but I'll see you tonight."

She hung up and turned to her friends.

"What?"

"Who's _Henry_?" Lola asked her coyly. "A new guy?"

She grinned, nodding. "Yep. He's great. We've not had sex or anything, we're just getting to know each other."

"How old is he?" Greer asked.

Kenna glanced down. "He's a bit older than us," she lied. "He's really nice. We're going to have dinner. Like a real, proper, fancy dinner tonight. He's paying."

"Well, if you're happy, then that's all that matters," Mary replied, rubbing her hand with an excited grin. "So, what does he look like? On a scale of one to Francis?"

Kenna blushed furiously. "Definitely over Francis." It was his father and Francis got his looks from his parents. "Really hot."

"Damn girl!" Greer cried out. "Better looking than anyone we know?"

"For sure," Kenna replied, smiling. "I don't know, maybe you'll meet him one day." Or you've already met him... "Let's move on."

...

_Present Day_

"Francis!" Bash calls out upon seeing the blonde and his wife get out of their car. "I've been meaning to talk to you." He eyes Mary briefly, giving his brother a smile.

"Okay, come over," Francis replies. "I'm sure Mary will want to tell Kenna about our appointment today."

Mary gives them both a smile, crossing the road to head inside Kenna's home as Bash follows Francis inside. As soon as the door is closed, Francis turns to his brother.

"You and Mary had a talk last night," he states. "She told me."

"I told Kenna," Bash replies. "But we're not going to talk about that right now. We're going to talk about what happened to our father."

"What do you mean?"

Bash narrows his eyes accusingly. "Louise said the police in France were looking for my mother and me. Were they looking for you?"

"N-No," Francis admits. "But you were in America, you've got a pretty strong alibi-"

"Why would I need one? How did Dad die, exactly?"

"I don't know," Francis tells him. "My mother called to tell me and I called you straight after. We have nothing to worry about, they're probably chasing up loose ends."

"You and I both have had colourful pasts that stay unknown and if the police find out about everything..." Bash trails off. "We could be kissing our families goodbye."

Francis looks away and heads into the kitchen. "Stay low, Bash. My mother has it under control."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Bash tells him, following after. "The Medicis, they are a lethal family. All your mother cares about is money and her children."

"True, but she won't do or say anything that will get us in trouble. You may not think so, but she cares about you," Francis replies. "After what you did for me and our siblings."

Bash accepts his answer, taking a seat. "Okay. That's out of the way, we can talk about you."

"Me?"

"What's going on with you and Mary?" Bash asks him. "She said you were going through a rough patch."

"Bash, a long time ago, you told me to mind my own business when I asked if you were cheating on Kenna. Now, I ask that you do the same," Francis tells him. "The sad thing is, you were cheating on her and I don't know how you managed to convince her otherwise every time."

Bash recoils, sitting down as he eyes his brother. He'd tried everything back then to be the husband she needed and deserved, but he just couldn't do it. His heart wasn't with her, the marriage wasn't true. At least on his part.

"Yeah, you're right," Bash replies. "And I know better-"

"Oh, spare me the 'I've changed' speech, Sebastian," Francis snaps. "If it's not you or Louis or Dad, it's something else that shakes up my marriage. And it all comes back to you. I know how Kenna feels, not being able to trust your own spouse."

"Mary never cheated-"

"She did, though. We may not have been serious, but we were committed. And you did nothing to stop whatever feelings you had for her. You always had to get the girl, even the ones I liked. Olivia, Jennifer, Amanda... What hurts the most is that when I was sixteen, I told you I wanted to marry Mary," Francis says. "I'd loved her since we were five, all the other girls never compared to her and what I felt for her. And you tried to take her from me."

Bash looks down in shame, nodding to everything Francis says to him. It's all true, but he couldn't help whatever feelings he had for Mary, Rowan, Delphine... If he was being honest with himself and Kenna, he had to let Francis know the truth.

"I hurt Kenna. By accident," he confesses.

"When?" Francis breathes out.

"Christmas Eve, uh, before we separated. The only reason I don't have her brother harming a hair on me is that it was an accident. Rowan was going to use that against me and-"

Francis scoffs, shaking his head. "Dad... Dad hurt Mum and Diane, and you... you'd lay a finger on your wife? After what we grew up with?"

Bash shakes his head. "It was only the one time, I swear. I-I couldn't handle her touching me after everything I'd done. I had to get her to stop pulling at me and I got her off me more violently than I wanted. I was so angry, hurt and damaged - she never deserved all the shit I did to her. I put all my problems on her, I accused her of doing the things _I_ did. I... I..."

"You disgust me sometimes and it hurts," Francis whispers, his eyes watering. "I've looked up to you my whole life and you were just like him. A monster. Someone who fooled me into believing they could do no wrong."

"I'm sure you don't hate me as much as I hate myself, Francis," Bash replies, laughing bitterly. "The one thing that sticks in my mind from that day is that I asked Kenna why I'd want another child with her and her reasons were that she loved me and I loved her back... I asked, '_since when?_'. I may have asked her that, when has she ever loved me, but I meant myself. I've never said this to her, but when she said I loved her back, that 'since when' was for that. Since when have I ever loved her or cared for her or wanted her? I was a good liar, a good manipulator and every time she fell for it..."

Francis pauses. "'Every time she fell for it', what?"

"I'd wonder when she'd realise and leave me. I was waiting for her to file for a divorce out of the blue and I'd be so relieved. She didn't though, she kept fighting until she gave up and I lost my wife and son. I don't know what was wrong with me, then and now. I'm trying, though. I want to make things better, I want to be a part of my children's lives, I want Kenna. I can assure you, whatever happened between Mary and me is in the past. All I care about is Kenna, Adrien and Perrine."

"Promise me. Promise me that you'll treat Kenna with the respect, love and care she deserves. Worship the ground she walks on, never let her sad tears to be caused by you," Francis says quietly. "Treat her better than you did before. In return, I won't get involved in whatever happens between you two."

"I promise," Bash says. "Is the interrogation over?"

"Yeah, I've got work to do."

Bash stands and leaves just as Mary and Kenna step outside, still in conversation. He watches as Kenna says something to which Mary nods in resignment. The women share a brief hug and Bash walks over to them, Mary excusing herself to go back home.

"All sorted?" Kenna asks him, referring to his conversation with Francis.

"Yes. Let's go inside."

"I've asked if Mary could take the kids this evening. They can't so I texted Lola instead she'll pick the kids up from school and drop them off before taking Adrien and Perrine with her," Kenna informs him. "I've given her a full list of what to look for in case Perrine is ill or anything."

She is surprised when he hugs her tightly from behind, kissing the back of her neck. She leans into his touch, bringing a hand to cup his cheek.

"What if we move?" He asks quietly. "To Scotland or Sweden or anywhere else that begins with 'S'. Or even anywhere that doesn't begin with 'S'."

"Why?" Kenna replies, turning to face him with an amused smile. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Forget about it," he mumbles, kissing her cheek.

She drops it, changing the subject. "What do you want to eat for dinner? Should we cook or order in?"

"I'd like a takeaway," he replies, squeezing her a bit. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," she says, leaving his grip to head upstairs. "Dougie has been thinking about coming to stay for a few days."

He follows after, a small smile playing on his lips. "Why?"

"He'd like to see the kids more. _Me_ more. He might come down with Paisley or Lachlan, depending on their schedules. They'll stay at Alex's."

"They can stay here," Bash replies easily. "Well, you've got the space, one free bedroom."

She gives him a bright smile. "Well, I'll kick Dougie over to Alex's and Paisley can more or less be a free babysitter if she comes. Or even Lockie if he comes instead and doesn't bring his PS4."

"Why would you need a babysitter?" Bash coyly asks, gently pushing her against the wall.

She shrugs. "I don't know..." She trails off, slipping her arms around his neck. "I might treat myself, to a few nights of bubble baths and wine. Well, fake wine."

"Am I in those plans?"

"Depends," she says, looking up at him. "I feel so drained from these past few months, I don't think I've slowed down. If it's not Perrine, it's Adrien who needs something and I need a night to myself. My care plan is going out the window."

"Do you think Lola and Stephane would mind having the kids for the night?" Bash asks softly.

She winces. "I don't want to bother them even more. I'm sure I'll be fine. Just an idea."

"No, you should have a night to pamper yourself. You know what, I'll take them. I've got that list from the doctor for Perrine and I can get more involved in Adrien's education. They're doing sums in Maths now, did you know? And-"

"If you could have them tomorrow night, that would be wonderful," she cuts him off, placing a kiss on his lips. "And we'll see if you can join me when my siblings come."

"Well, it's a plan."

...

_Three Years Ago_

Kenna took deep breaths in and out, trying to control her anger as she gripped onto the steering wheel tightly. She couldn't believe him. She did everything for him and it meant fuck all, as usual.

She was a stay-at-home mum, she attended all the little dinner parties like the good, polite wife she was. She stopped taking the pill, hoping they could be successful in giving their son a sibling.

"What more do you want from me?" She whispered, eyes wide with tears.

She jumped when she heard a knock on the door and she rolled the window down. Turning to face the intruder of her thoughts, she planted a fake smile on her face.

"Jourdain."

"He asked me to give you this," Jourdain said empathetically, handing her a stickie note. "Dinner with Monsieur and Madame Roche at eight this evening."

"Tell him I have plans," she snapped, starting to pull out of the parking space.

She headed towards a small café, not too far from home. As soon as she stepped inside, she felt at peace and she could gather her thoughts better.

Kenna ordered a chocolate cupcake with dark chocolate pieces and a vanilla latte before collecting her order and going to sit somewhere away from everyone else.

"Is this seat taken?" A man asked in French, gaining her attention.

"Go ahead," she mumbled, replying in English. She noticed that he was staring at her with a small smile. "What?"

The man shook his head. "I'm wondering what a beautiful woman like you is doing all alone, looking so sad," he told her, speaking in English now.

"Ask the husband who put her there," she replied darkly, taking a sip of her drink. "Kenna."

"Renaude. Arsène Renaude."

"Like Arsenal? The football team?" She asked him.

Arsène laughed. "I guess so. Are you a supporter?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I did football back in my prime," she replied.

"Prime? What prime? You look no older than twenty-five? Twenty-six?"

She blushed furiously. "Spot on," she said. "There are many seats here and you chose this one?"

"Blunt, I appreciate that," he told her. "I saw a forlorn woman, I had to make her smile."

She smiled. "Well, thank you. You can go now."

"What do you do, Kenna?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Uh, nothing. I studied science but didn't really pursue a career in that field."

"Do you have a job?"

"You've just met me, why on Earth would you think I'd give you a lot of information about my life?" She asked, laughing.

He took a napkin and got a pen from his pocket. He wrote down some numbers on the napkin and showed her.

"I own a recruitment company in Paris," he began. "This is how much I am willing to pay for a managerial role in one of my divisions."

She glanced down at the number and gasped. It was certainly more than what she made at her last job, but she wasn't looking for a job. She was going to be a stay-at-home mum.

"I'm not looking for a job," she told him.

"It's more or a less a hobby," Arsène told her. "Everyone's friends in my company, we look out for each other. It's a reason to get away from our problems at home. A job where we work for a few hours and relax for the rest, let loose, no stresses and then, we go home. Face what happens there and return the next morning."

This could give Kenna an excuse to not be invited to dinners and events she doesn't want to go to. She wasn't a trophy wife made to be quiet, smile and nod at everything her husband and his associates said.

"Yeah, go on then," she said, shaking the man's hand. "Let's do this properly. I'm Kenna Poitiers."

"Well, Madame Poitiers, welcome aboard," Renaude beamed, squeezing her hand.

That night, after Bash had yelled at her for not being there at the dinner which made him look stupid and humiliated, she told him that she had a new job.

"I thought we agreed that you didn't need to work," he asked her, taking his shirt off. "That you'd have the children to keep you busy."

"Oh, I see," she replied, getting up from their bed to stand in front of him. "I'm a housewife, now? First, a rebound and now, a housewife. You really know how to treat women well."

He sighed, rubbing his face. "For the love of God. What is with you taking things out of proportion? You and I both talked about this already, turn the offer down."

"You mean, you talked and I had to agree," she replied. "I feel like I can't say 'no' to you."

"That's a lie," he said. "All I hear from you is 'no'. Today is an example."

He walked past her to get to the en-suite, turning the light on and the shower. He could hear something smash from the bedroom and he looked over to where the lamp on his side of the bed now laid on the floor.

"That's just childish, Kenna," he snapped.

"Thank you," she replied, grabbing her lamp. "Until you let me work, I'll break everything in this house. Including Meme Ana's vases!"

Before she could let go of the lamp, he snatched it off of her.

"Really?" He asked. "And don't even joke about my grandmother's vases, they're priceless."

"Well?"

"Fine. Work, do whatever you want. Just stop breaking shit, yeah?" He told her, placing the lamp back on her nightstand. "You're impossible sometimes."

"Well, whose fault is that?" She mumbled her breath.

_Two Years Ago_

"Kenna?" Antoine called out, bringing her into his arms. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

She wiped her tears, stepping back from his embrace. "Bash, he-he cheated on me."

"Oh, no..." Antoine breathed out, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry. I knew that there was something happening at home, I'd never imagined that he'd cheat on someone as beautiful and faithful as you."

"I'm just so sick and tired of being his doormat," she said. wringing her hands. "I don't know what to do. Do I leave him? Do I forgive him?"

"Was it only just the one time?"

"Yeah."

"A mistake?"

"Yeah."

"Then, there's your answer, honey," Antoine told her, playing with her hair. "You have a kid together, you can't just end things just like that."

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right. How's Jeanne and the baby?"

He immediately brightened up. "They're good. We're excited. Come on, let's get you back to work."

"Let me fix my makeup first," she replied, heading towards the toilets. She stopped, turning to face him. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Any time, Kenna. I'll _always_ be there for you," Antoine replied.

A few months later, Kenna woke up to find her phone ringing. She felt Bash's side and realised that he'd gone to work. Sighing, she answered the call.

"Antoine?"

_"Kenna... It's Jeanne, she... We lost the baby, Kenna,"_ he sobbed over the line. _"I'm at work, she didn't want me there with her at the hospital. Can you come?"_

She was meant to start work in two hours time, so she decided that coming earlier wouldn't hurt. She bet that Arsène would have some files for her to fill in that he'd told her about yesterday.

"I'll be there soon," she told him.

After she had him calmed with a cup of tea and some biscuits, what he said to her next shocked her.

"I'm going to leave Jeanne." He sighed. "Everything is just confusing when I'm with her. I don't... I don't think I love her anymore too."

Kenna shook her head. "Oh, Antoine... You can't. Remember when you told me to try and make things work with Bash, I did and-"

She was cut off by Antoine pressing his lips against hers, bringing her closer tightly to his body. She froze, eyes wide as his lips moved against hers. She didn't know what to do, her body wasn't _moving_.

Suddenly, she pushed him off her. He almost stumbled to the ground, just catching himself at the last second as she wiped her mouth hard. That's when she began running.

Kenna went to her office, collecting her things before leaving through the lift, quickly pressing the button. She felt sick like she wanted to throw everything up from her guts and not stop.

She drove home and when she got there, she went inside and straight upstairs. She placed her things on the ground and retrieved her phone, wanting to ask her husband if he could come home.

She froze when she received a text from Bash and she slowly turned to face him.

"B-Bash-"

"Save it."

"Please-"

"I told you, Kenna. I _warned_ you," he told her, hurt. "And you didn't listen. What am I supposed to make of this? You're selfish, you only think about yourself. Let me guess, he gave you some sob story about his wife and you wanted to _comfort_ him. Was he good?"

Her breath hitched in her throat and she sank onto the bed, tears falling down her cheeks. He used her words against her. She turned away when Bash cupped her cheek, kneeling in front of her.

"Better than me?" He continued quietly.

When she didn't reply, he nodded slowly. He got up, pinching the bridge of his nose before he collected his phone and started to walk towards the door.

"I hope he was worth it, I really do because everything I do, I do it for _you_ and our son. If we really mean nothing more than a cheap night having sex with my cousin, then good on you, Kenna," Bash told her.

"Will you let me talk?" She requested angrily.

"What's the point, I have all the evidence I need."

"Need for what?" She asked fearfully. "Bash, Antoine and I, we never-"

"The funny thing is, you'd probably run back to him. Despite him wanting to ruin my family's name, to ruin _me_," Bash told her. "Here's how things are going to go, you _will_ come with me to whatever shitty business event I need to go to and you _will_ smile, laugh, listen and pretend because that's who you are. A liar and a good one at that. If it wasn't for Adrien, this marriage... Let's just say I'd be signing the papers by now."

He walked out, leaving her all alone to release the sobs that built down her throat. She sobbed until ugly tears ran down her cheeks. Until her nose began to run. Until she was nothing more than an endless tap for tears. She screamed, slamming the floor, pressing her forehead against the cold wood of the bedroom floor.

"Please..." She begged, not really knowing who she was begging to or who could hear her. "Please..."

...

_Present Day_

"I thought you were hungry," Bash says to her, picking up a spring roll and stuffing it into her mouth.

She grins, taking over in feeding herself. "I am. I was just thinking."

"Uh oh, you're doing a lot of that lately. Is your head hurting?" He teases, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he returns to eating.

She hits him, smiling wryly. "I was thinking about the time you..."

"I what, babe?"

"Threatened to divorce me for the first time. When you saw the photo of Antoine and me..."

Bash swallows his mouthful, placing his plate onto the coffee table. He wipes his mouth with a tissue and turns to face her, taking her hand and holding it in both of his.

"You didn't deserve that. I guess I always knew the truth about what happened, I just needed an excuse to leave you. Not that I'd ever want to leave you, now," he says, avoiding her gaze. "I'm so ashamed of myself for putting you through that, I'm so sorry. I treated you like a trophy wife and I'm an arsehole. I have nightmares of turning into Henry and I did. I was him in every way and I'm trying, Kenna. God, I'm trying because he frightens me and I don't want to ever be him. What he was, do what he did. Speaking of that, Christmas Eve... I still regret that and if I could turn back the time, I would."

"That was a mistake," she replies.

He nods sadly. "Even if it wasn't, it still shouldn't have happened and I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you," she mumbles, kissing him. "You're not Henry and you will never be him."

"Kenna, don't give me hope like that."

"Babe, no... It's like when my mum got breast cancer, Paisley and I had to get ourselves checked out to see if we had the gene... Pais did and I didn't and all she could think about is if she was going to have cancer," Kenna tells him. "She made the decision to have a double mastectomy eventually. I know it isn't the same, but now she has a chance and so do you. You've sought help and maybe, you'd see if..."

"If I have what he had?" Bash asks quietly.

She nods. "Yeah. When you're ready, though. I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for. We're still pretty much healing as a couple, as individuals and as a family. We have time."

"I'll make an appointment."

"Are you sure?"

"I am," he replies. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now, can we actually pay attention to the TV because I _love_ this soap and you've made me miss about ten minutes of it?" She tells him, turning to watch the TV.

"You weren't paying attention in the first place," he says, picking his plate up. "What's going on anyway?"

She grins, explaining the soap as she watches him. He seems more relaxed and at ease and she smiles to herself. They can make it through this. They've got each other and now, they will do things properly.

...

_January, Last Year_

Kenna headed downstairs, passing Bash's office as she went to search for something she'd forgotten in the playroom. She noticed that the door to the office was opened and Bash's laptop was open on the desk.

Curiously, she walked inside and sat on his chair, scrolling through the history of his browser. Flight tickets, flight times, New Year's sales... She pulled a face when she noted that he had one of his bank accounts open on one of the tabs.

She looked through the account, seeing various purchases over the months. He spent at least a grand each day on one thing or another. He even had a regular payment going to Victoria's Secret. She then noticed that the payments each day or every other day were for _hotel rooms_.

It confirmed her suspicions and she closed her eyes in anguish. She refused to cry, not until she found out the full story. She couldn't make assumptions, not like he did with her and Antoine. She would be understanding and listen. She'd try and find a solution and make things work.

Standing up, she clicked on the tab he was on previously and left the office, closing the door behind her. She headed to the playroom and retrieved her headpiece, gripping it tightly in her hand unconsciously as tears sprung to her eyes.

Kenna thanked Diane mentally for putting Adrien down for a nap, not that he needed one. They were going to visit Diane's brother after his nap, the man eager to get to know his great-nephew better and they would probably be there for a good while until they came home.

She heard the front door close and she composed herself, making her way over to greet her husband with a bright smile.

"Hey, Bash."

"You're talking to me now?" He asked, surprised as he walked towards the kitchen.

She followed behind him. "Yeah," she replied nervously. "I just think we should forget what happened around Christmas."

He turned to her, a smile on his face. "Yeah. Will you come back to our room? I've missed you."

_Lie_, she thought.

She looked down, shaking her head. "I think it's best if we didn't sleep together on the same bed, in the same room. For now, at least."

_In case you bring some other woman there_, she thought sadly, a smile growing on her face.

"Why don't we spend the weekend away for my birthday? Your mum and Adrien will be visiting your uncle these next few days, so we can spend some time together. Sort out any issues and come back better for our family. It's a new year and it's my birthday today, let's try and repair things between us," she told him.

"Yeah, why not?" He replied, stepping towards her. He flinched when she stepped back. "I'll see where we can go. I'll make this weekend the best birthday weekend you'll never forget, Kenna. I promise you, Beautiful."

He looked hurt when he left the kitchen, Kenna sighing heavily. She could still see the faint bruise on her eye whenever she studied herself in the mirror. She wasn't afraid of him, he seemed to think she was because her actions were very clear.

How she distanced herself, avoided his gaze at times. She was Kenna Beaton for God's sake, she _never_ got scared of anything or anyone. Damn Bash for hurting her, accident or not.

"Kenna?" She heard him call her.

She left the kitchen and headed towards the direction of his call. She saw him sitting down as she entered his office. Her smile left her face when she realised that he was angry.

"Did you look through my bank accounts?" He asked her.

Startled, she quickly shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about," she told him, turning around walking away.

"You did!" She heard him cry out accusingly. "Why would you even-"

She stopped, turning to face him. "Why are you spending money on lingerie every month? They're obviously not for me because I don't see them. Or better yet, I haven't got some for my birthday gift from you."

"Excuse me?" He breathed out, narrowing his eyes. "So you admit it-"

"Why are you spending hundreds of euros on lingerie, Sebastian?" She repeated, her voice getting louder. "You're spending _a lot_ of money on hotel rooms and lingerie, it's ridiculous! You have a room, a house, a _home_. Why the fuck are you spending money on hotel rooms in Paris when we live here in _Paris_? Answer me!"

When he didn't reply, she continued towards the informal living room. She threw her headpiece onto the table and cursed when the latch snapped open. It was expensive and it was a gift for her birthday from her mother who she hadn't spoken to in a long while.

"What the hell, Mckenna?" He finally snapped, turning her around to face him. "I _never_ look through your things, bank accounts, your phone, whatever. Why would you-"

"Are the lingerie and hotel rooms for your whores?" She asked coyly, tilting her head to the side.

"My what?!" He cried out, making her jump. "My whores? Oh my, God. You're honestly the most stupid person I've met. Accusing me of what, are you exactly?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid. You treat me like shit and then you go off and spend time with your whores! I know about-"

She stumbled when he passed her, heading in the direction of the stairs. She quickly went to stand in front of him, pushing him back towards the sofas.

"You think you can get away with it?" She asked him. "Go on, tell me why you spend money on hotel rooms and lingerie? Let me hear those excuses, _sweetheart_. Tell me the truth!" She screamed. "Stop lying to me and making me feel like I'm going mad!"

He turned to her. "You know what?"

"What?" She asked, smiling a little bit. _Are you going to tell me everything? Are you going to stop making me look like a fucking fool?_

"I can't do this, anymore. I can't handle you anymore, Kenna," he began, making her smile disappear and her heart drop. "You're selfish, vain, jealous and it sickens me. I do everything for you but you treat me like something you scrape from the bottom of your shoe-"

"Bash-" She breathed out, shaking her head.

"Antoine, Renaude... You never give me a chance, especially after I relocated to Paris for you! You know how much I hate this place yet, I moved for you. I got you everything you wanted and more-"

"Bash-" She began to say, trying to tell him he misunderstood everything but he wouldn't even give her the time of day to speak for herself.

He was making her the villain. He was victimising himself. She couldn't let him do that, she loved him and she couldn't let him confuse her like that. She didn't do anything, it was all him. Was this all her? Was it all her fault?

"It's over. I can't stand you. I can't stand to even look at you. The baby thing was sick, Kenna," he continued, bringing up _their_ miscarriage.

Kenna began sobbing, pulling at him so he couldn't leave. She didn't even care as she sank to the ground, squeezing his arms so he couldn't move as he tried to.

"Don't do this. I didn't mean to lose the baby. I can change! We can make this work. We can have more kids, I'll quit my job - anything, just don't make our son like you... We can do this, together." She sobbed.

She wanted to use his affair against him and Mary, for good measure, but she wanted him, she didn't want to give him more ammo to leave her. She looked up at him through blurry eyes, begging him, literally on her knees.

"The baby-" She tried, but she was quickly cut off.

"Let me go, Kenna," he said calmly, glancing away.

"Renaude wanted to hurt me - Francis explained everything-"

"Let. Me. Go." And this time, it was harsher and he pushed her off him, making her fall back on the ground.

Her back hit the corner of the coffee table and she gasped in pain, her tears flowing down her cheeks as she became silent in shock.

She shook as he left, turning around to see her son's wide eyes staring at her. Wiping her tears, she got up and cradled him to her chest, carrying him to the sofa.

"What's wrong?" She asked him. "Why aren't you napping?"

"You and Papa, yelling." Adrien began to cry, leaning deeper into her chest. So, he knew what that meant.

Kenna felt heartbroken, guilty and horrible. Her poor baby shouldn't have to go through this but this was going to be the new normal.

"Papa is upset that you and I are leaving him for a little adventure. We're going to see your cousins!" She said to him, kissing his head. "John, James and Anne!"

"Can I bring my toys?" He asked, his innocence making her smile.

Kenna doesn't have the heart to tell him that they would have to bring all of their things because they were never coming back. Her eyes looked up and connected with Diane's heartbroken ones.

"We are going to bring every single one of them with us," she said, not breaking eye contact with her mother-in-law, soon to be former._  
_

At nearly nine at night, Kenna rang the doorbell of a house she'd been to a few times before. There was a similar house across the street that was on sale and she took a picture of the 'For Sale' sign for future reference.

Adrien laid asleep against her chest, her left arm supporting him as she used her other arm to do other things. She rang the bell again, hoping to God that someone would answer soon.

A few minutes later, the door finally opened and Francis stood there with a surprised look on his face. He took her in, eyeing Adrien and the bags that surrounded them on the ground.

"Kenna?"

"Bash... It's..." The words refused to leave her mouth as tears stung her eyes. She began sobbing, shaking her head.

Francis sighed, taking Adrien from her arms and shushing the child when the boy woke up, crying.

"Mary?" Francis called up the stairs, comforting Adrien who tightened his grip around his uncle's neck.

Upon hearing her name, Mary came down the stairs and stopped when she saw Kenna and Adrien by the door. She shivered when the cold air entered, hitting her arms and she silently went outside to start bringing their belongings in.

"Kenna, what happened?" Mary asked her over tea, a short while later. It had taken a while to get Adrien settled to sleep again and by the time he nodded off, Kenna had started sobbing again.

"It's over," Kenna said hoarsely, fully cried out. "He ended things, kicked us out and well, here we are. I'm so sorry to have come here. I had nowhere else to go..."

"Don't be silly," Francis told her, his voice strained. "You're welcome any time, both of you. I will call him and see what the fuck is going through his mind. What is he playing at?"

Kenna shook her head sadly. "No, don't," she mumbled. "Oh my, God... I shouldn't have come here. It's just... Diane tried talking to him, but he wouldn't hear it and my family... We're not on speaking terms since the wedding and I have no one... I have _no one_." The tears returned and she covered her face.

She could feel Mary's arms wrap tightly around her and although she hated her friend a bit, she felt safe. Safer than she had been feeling in a long while.

"You have us," Mary said firmly, kissing the side of her head. "You have us, babe."

"Why would he end things?" Francis asked in disbelief. "You guys had the perfect marriage."

"Francis," Mary warned gently, eyeing him as she shook her head.

"Well apart from the time we all thought he was having affairs-"

Kenna froze, something rising in her chest and throat. "I... I think I'm going to-"

Kenna leapt from her seat, heading to the sink to throw up. Her sobs returned and Mary got up to help her, brushing her hair back and whispering soothing words in her ear.

"I'm worthless," Kenna whispered, digging her nails into her palms. "That's why he didn't want me because-"

"Oh, Kenna," Mary breathed out sadly. "Don't be silly. You're not worthless. Bash, he'll get over whatever is hurting him and you and Adrien will be home in no time. He's probably stressed with work."

Mary turned to see that her husband had left the kitchen and she could now hear his raised voice outside in the garden. She ignored it and focused on her best friend, kissing her head and stroking her back.

"You're going to be okay."

Unfortunately, Kenna didn't believe her because as they turned in for the night, Kenna and Adrien taking over James's room for a while, she headed to the bathroom.

She felt the pain more than ever as she sought refuge in the only thing that supported her during her teenage years. Normally, she'd be numb to the feeling, but it stung and she hissed and gasped in pain, watching the blood drip onto the floor.

She sat there on the ground for a good few hours. Until she realised that the kids were waking up to start their day, she snapped out of her restless reverie and cleaned up. She got changed into a long-sleeved shirt after she had a shower and went to snuggle her son as they remained in bed.

They could hear Mary and Francis downstairs with their children, laughing and talking as they ate breakfast. Neither mother or son wanted to do much, taking to seek comfort in each other's arms.

"Why did Papa hurt you, Mama?" Adrien asked her quietly.

"He didn't hurt me," she quickly replied.

"He did," Adrien argued back. "I saw your booboo when you put your shirt on."

She let out a wince when she remembered the growing, purpling bruise on her lower back from when she hit the coffee table. It wasn't a decent thing to do, sitting by the bathtub with an injury like that.

"Is Papa a bad man?" Adrien asked, eyes wide.

Kenna shook her head. "No, baby. Papa's isn't a bad man, he's just... when people are upset, they do silly things that they don't mean to do."

"Does Papa do silly things all the time? He's always upset," Adrien stated.

"Your Papa is a good man, Adi. He loves and cares for you, you should never think bad of him," she told her son, cupping his cheeks and looking into his green eyes. The same green eyes that destroyed her heart and broke it into a million pieces. She won't ever be able to repair it.

"Does he love and care for you?"

Tears slipped down Kenna's cheeks and she nodded. "Yeah. Of course," she replied. "Baby, we are not going to be living with Papa anymore. We're going to be living here, in England. It's closer to your cousins, Aunt Mary and Uncle Francis. And your godmothers."

"Does Papa not want us anymore?"

"Of course he does!" She cried out, almost sobbing. "I just think we'll be very happy here. We need to spend some time away from him."

"But why?" Her son whined.

Kenna shrugged. "He's really busy at work at the moment and we need... we need to give him some space."

"What about my school?"

"I'm so sorry, baby. For now, we'll have to homeschool you until we see where we end up."

Adrien nodded sadly, tears running down his cheeks. "When will I see Papa again?"

"I don't know," Kenna whispered, sniffling. "But you and I are going to enjoy this adventure, I promise you. We'll find a new home, it will be smaller like this house is and we will be very happy. We might invite Meme to stay too. We're going to be okay, baby. I got you, my little Prince."

...

_Present Day_

Kenna opens her eyes, realising that she was in bed. She looks over and sees that it's just gone past ten in the morning.

Eyes wide, she gets out of bed and rushes to Adrien's room to see that it's empty and his bed is laid. She goes down the hallway into Perrine's room and sees that it's empty as well.

Panicking, she quickly heads down the stairs and enters the living room to see Bash awake with their daughter on her play mat and the TV on. She sighs in relief, almost collapsing onto the sofa.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, his attention leaving the TV.

"I-I thought..."

"You look terrified," he says, getting up to sit beside her. He brings her to his chest and she immediately tightens her grip on him. "I took Adrien to school this morning. By the time I got back, Perrine Aveline was wide awake demanding to be fed."

She closes her eyes, nodding against his chest. "Oh my, God... I thought someone had taken them. I-I don't even know why..."

"It's okay. I should have let you known what I was doing," Bash replies, kissing the top of her head. "I won't do that again."

"No, it's fine... I have to get used to this," she mumbles.

"The doctor called, Perrine's hearing will be sorted out on Saturday," he informs her. "Our little girl will be able to hear again."

Kenna smiles, leaving his grip so she can sink onto the floor and play with her daughter. She babbles, blowing kisses as the baby gurgles in reply. She beams when her daughter smiles up at her. At least she hopes Perrine's smiling and not passing wind.

"I pray that's the only thing our baby girl suffers from," she says softly, kissing her daughter's cheek. "Who's Mama's girl?"

"We should do property development," she hears Bash say. "Having no job means that I'm sitting watching Homes Under The Hammer every weekday."

Kenna chuckles, looking up to eye him. "Yeah, maybe. Might be fun, working on houses together. Who knows? We might even find a nice, big home for Francis and Mary and their ever-growing family."

"I'll start looking," Bash replies, briefly eyeing her. "Could be a fun project to do..."

As Kenna feeds Perrine, she joins Bash on the sofa. She rests her legs on his lap and they sit in comfortable silence. The only sounds they hear is the talking on the TV and Perrine's soft suckles from the bottle.

"Bash?" Kenna calls out after a while.

"Yeah?"

Focusing her eyes on their daughter, Kenna tells him, "Australia wasn't the only time."

"What do you mean?" Bash asks her in confusion, turning to look at her.

She gives him a wry smile, shrugging slightly. "W-When Adrien and I ended up at Francis and Mary's following our separation, I cut myself. Normally, it didn't hurt. That time, it did and that scared me. Nothing could numb the pain and heartbreak and I-I didn't want to live like that, with so much pain. I was so emotionless, yet I was so pained. After Adrien started bedwetting, I pulled myself together and I didn't cut or try to drown myself or anything else. I had to focus on him."

"Thank you for being honest," he whispers. "I drove you to do that and-"

"No, let's not do that. Put the blame on each other. Alex told me that no one forced me to cut myself or try to kill myself, I did that," she tells him. "And yes, circumstances involving you did make me hurt badly and pick up the blade... I sometimes find myself still wanting answers, Bash. For the manipulation and everything and I feel like your father is not the only excuse. Or even Mary."

"I don't even know myself, Kenna. If I did, I'd explain it to you, I swear," Bash tells her. "I'm sorry and I don't know why I did those things. It didn't make me feel any better or worse. I felt like I was living someone else's life, that unless I did something drastic, nothing felt _real_. I didn't marry you with the intent to destroy you. I sincerely wanted to eventually fall in love with you, have children, live our lives together... My heart wasn't in it and I guess I blamed you for not being Mary and for what my father forced me to do - get with you."

She takes his hand, eyes still on their daughter. "I still doubt that you love me. Bash, I don't want you to be with me because I'm the mother of your children. If we didn't have them, I doubt we'd still be here."

"Don't say that," he says softly. "Adrien and Perrine, my love for them are separate from the love I have for you. I love you for you now. Not because I saw you give birth to our children, but because you're you. Despite me acting like shit to you, you still picked yourself up and built a home for our family. You were patient and I know most women would have left after the first year."

"Language," she says lightly, blinking tears away. "What makes me so special?"

"You're definitely not afraid to let other people know when they're doing bad stuff," he says. "I remember having to stop you from smashing every glass item up. You always knew what to say to get my attention and then you'd switch. You'd act like nothing was wrong when everything was wrong. You were the perfect pretender and I made you one."

She turns to him. "I've always been a pretender. I lied to my friends, my parents, my siblings, _you_. Hell, I've even lied to our son. I told him you didn't hurt me."

"I guess it's hard explaining to a kid that what they saw or heard wasn't real," Bash says sadly. "When we all know it's very much real and I never should have hurt you. You are special, Kenna. You're so special, I don't deserve you."

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words," she tells him. "And a lot of your actions in the past still give me nightmares. I won't ever forget them, but I will forgive them. We'll get through it and the memories will fade and we will only remember the happy times."

"I swear, every single day, I will make it up to you. Those five years don't mean anything. From now on, everything counts and we will find the light and heal and be happy. We'll get through this," Bash replies. "And we can find our next adventure."

She beams. "Like property development and Homes Under The Hammer?"

"Yeah, why not," he replies, kissing her. "I promise to love you, to comfort you and to be there for you forever."

"I promise to be there for you through the good times and bad and love you and comfort you," she says in reply. "Forever."


	27. Chapter 27

**Replies to reviews: **

**BlerBlerBler [chapter 24]: At first I was worried about them. It's all a part of Kennash's life; their children, siblings, parents and friends all are involved and have their own issues to deal with. The school conversations were my favourite. Francis, Mary, Kenna and Bash brought some humour to such a heavy story, trust me when I say I needed the lightness. We'll have to see if Bash and Kenna get through everything, but their past is too much and they need to deal with that or even attempt to.**

**BlerBlerBler [chapter 25]: So true haha! He is, I've never gone into such a dark aura of a character before. It's so interesting to write. **

**BlerBlerBler [chapter 26]: Yeah, the past is very dark and it gives light to all Kenna was experiencing during her younger years, relationship with Bash to during their marriage. Francis and Mary's situation will be revealed soon, I won't spoil anything.**

****elder441 [chapter 26]: The Francis and Mary situation started before her admission to Bash, but both events are linked partly. It will be revealed soon. A Frary story is definitely being brainstormed at the moment. I have loads of ideas, even one that may interlink with this story. It's a matter of deciding what to write, but I'm just as excited to write it as much as you are to read it!****

* * *

"We should get a dog," Kenna says, reaching over the bath to collect her phone from the stool. "Something small and cute."

_"What about something big and scary? Or you know what's low maintenance?"_ Bash asks through the phone. _"A fish and-Adrien, don't jump on the sofa, please!"_

Kenna chuckles, leaning back into the scented lemon water. "How's our girl doing?"

_"Yeah, she's good. I have her in that new baby rocker thing? It plays stupid music every time she moves, not that she can hear it anyway. Adrien Olivier Alistair Poitiers, if you don't-"_

She grins. "Did he listen?"

_"Yeah, he got off,"_ Bash mutters. _"Why does he do what you ask straight away and I need to complain three times until he does what I ask?"_

"You'll get there," she replies, closing her eyes. "I'm enjoying myself. I got a foot massage machine that I want to try after my bath."

_"Oh, yeah?"_ He asks inquisitively. _"And this bath, what does it smell like?"_

She raises an amused eyebrow. "Lemon. It's lemon and elderflower bath soap."

_"Is it warm? Hot? Cold?"_

"Wouldn't you like me to have a cold bath? Or even a shower," she teases, much to his amusement. "It's boring though..."

_"Why? You have an evening free of kids jumping on the sofa and crying for no reason whatsoever other than to be held."_

She shrugs in indifference. "Remember what we did on that sofa?"

_"Uh, Adrien can you sit on the arm-you know what, go and play in your room,"_ she hears Bash say and she laughs.

"Get that sofa cleaner ready. Make sure all those seats are clean," she says. "I don't blame you for sending him to his room. I haven't been inside that apartment in _years_. We got married, went on our honeymoon and a week after that, we were in France. Anyway, I'd like this bath more if it was shared."

She hears him clear his throat and she smirks.

_"Oh?"_ He replies.

Back when they used to date, she'd revel in sex talk over the phone. It makes her grin right now, knowing the effect she had on him back then still works. She used to be such a tease, even catching him at the worst times.

"Yeah, if someone could help me wash my hair and make sure I have every, single, part clean," she says softly and punctuative. "Might work down my body after..."

_"Pizza?"_

"What?" She asks, frowning. That wasn't any of their safe words.

_"Not you, Kenna. One minute, babe," _Bash quickly says before getting into a conversation with their son.

It lasts for a few minutes until the father finally agrees to order pizza. He moans about how Adrien has already had pizza a few days back and it kills the mood, Kenna getting out of the bath and unplugging the bottom.

"I'll call you back," she tells him.

_"Wait, Kenna-"_

"You've killed the mood," she says, laughing. "Sort out his dinner, I'll call you when he's asleep."

_"Damn. Okay, yeah sure. Who thought that having kids was a good idea? The best way to completely destroy your sex life."_

She giggles. "Hey, you couldn't keep your hands off me during my pregnancies. Said our sex life went up by a lot."

_"Well, because it means you're free to not use contraception. Not that I remembered at most times..."_ He mutters the last bit to himself.

"Because I'm already pregnant. I can't get _more_ pregnant, dumbarse," she replies, stifling her laughter. "You know what, let me enjoy my evening and night off. Deal with whatever you've got going on there yourself."

_"Talk later,"_ he grumbles, hanging up.

She shakes her head, still letting soft chuckles leave her lips as she wraps a towel around her body. She heads to her room, getting dressed in silk pyjamas and putting her hair up in a small bun. She'll do the body lotions later.

Retrieving her phone, she heads downstairs and gets the foot massage machine from under the stairs. She places it by the stairs when she hears the doorbell ring.

"Mary?" She says in surprise when she opens the door. "I thought tonight was my 'do not disturb' night."

Mary smiles a little. "I-I brought wine. Then I remembered we both don't drink since you're still sort of breastfeeding and I'm pregnant..."

"Is everything okay?" Kenna asks her, letting her in and closing the door behind her. "Is Francis still being off-"

"It's my fault," Mary suddenly says, turning to face her.

"What is?" Kenna asks, frowning.

Mary looks down. "Well, it's _our_ fault."

"What are you talking about, Mary?"

"Henry," Mary replies nervously. "Catherine asked us to help her with an alibi, right? Maybe, she killed him. Francis... He's been digging into it because he and Bash are getting suspicious and-"

"Bash doesn't know anything," Kenna says, heading into the kitchen and placing her phone down.

Mary trails after. "James asked me, Kenna. He said I was hiding something and he asked if it had something to do with the new deal we wrote up for the Valoises to go over. Francis was asking me why I spent so much time with his mother when she came to visit to sign the deal."

"She's your mother-in-law, it's normal to spend time with her," Kenna says offhandedly. "I even spend time with Diane of all people!"

"I didn't want to worry you with all of this, Kenna," Mary replies, sitting down at the table. "I think we should come clean. It will put our husbands' minds at rest and it's not like they'd call the police on us."

"It had to be done, okay?" Kenna tells her firmly. "Henry... He had to go because with him still around, I would have lost Bash for good. He compares himself to that monster and yes, our marriage wasn't the best the first time around but he's trying and we're really happy."

Mary sighs, rubbing her face. "Sixteen, Kenna... We were sixteen when you got involved with Henry. I wish we could go back in time so I'd definitely stop you from ever liking him. If only I knew."

"It was just fun. Some way to ease the pain I felt-"

"Why didn't you let me in?" Mary cuts her off. "You were on antidepressants, cutting yourself and flying around the world with an older guy. I am your _best friend_, your _sister_. You couldn't have spoken to me, let me help you?"

Kenna sends her a cold glare. "Could I have spoken to you when my husband called me by your name in bed? Or when he told you he loved you on our wedding day? Or when you got pregnant with his baby?"

"Wh-what?" Mary breathes out in fear. "H-How-"

"The miscarriage before you had James," Kenna tells her. "I saw the texts. I had thought about confronting him, but we'd barely been dating for two months. I wasn't even sure if he was the one at first so I let it go and I told myself that if you had the baby, I'd accept it because it will still look like Francis either way. Hopefully at least. When you lost the baby, I was so relieved, I'm sorry to say. Then you couldn't help yourself and, you and Bash saw each other in secret. You were married and he was with me-"

"Kenna, stop," Mary whispers.

"Then you told him, _me_, you were pregnant with Francis's baby on our wedding day. That took guts, Mary."

Mary starts sobbing and she looks at Kenna through her tears. "James is Francis's. You can see that!"

"I know," Kenna replies. "I prayed for that. Not for your sake or Bash's, but for Francis's and mine. A little blonde baby to make sure your little trysts stayed secret. I won't ever tell Francis because he doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"Kenna, you mean more to me than Francis and even Bash do. We've been best friends since birth, literally. Hurting you wasn't my plan," Mary tells her, standing up to face her. "I couldn't help myself. I resented you for having Bash, for-for being the one whose bed he'd go to after leaving mine. I love Francis so much, but I couldn't..."

"You couldn't what?" Kenna asks her, tilting her head. "Couldn't stop fucking his brother? Couldn't stop yourself from fucking your best friend's boyfriend? Do you know how traumatised I was to hear him say _your_ name? Any other name, I would have accepted that because I knew he was a cheater. But yours...? Did you ever sleep with him when we were married?"

Mary shakes her head in distress. "I'm so sorry. He was yours, I was Francis's. It was over, _for good_. I didn't love him anymore-"

"Because I had him? Because Francis was overjoyed at the thought of your first child together?" Kenna asks. "Loyalty goes both ways, Mary. I never took what was yours, but you kept taking anything and everything from me. I let myself be used and abused by you and Bash because I didn't want to lose you both. Love doesn't come easy to me and when I feel it for someone, it's hard to stop loving them."

"I know," Mary whispers. "Where do we go from here? Now that you know everything?"

Kenna sighs, inviting her to sit down before taking her hands in her own. "You love Francis, right?"

"I do so much. I just want to stop hurting everyone. I want him to be happy with me and our children," Mary shakily replies. "I want us to leave the past in the past and move on. I can't lie to you anymore. I'm so sorry."

"I've forgiven you a long time ago," Kenna tells her. "Both of you even though you never asked for it. I'm not upset, I've learned how to be more forgiving and accepting."

"You shouldn't have to accept things," Mary replies, shaking her head. "Tell me or even scream at me how much you hate me for hurting you. Tell me how horrible I was for doing that to my own husband, hurting him by using his own brother against him. Kenna, they may have forgiven me and let bygones be bygones, but I shouldn't get off that lightly."

Kenna shrugs. "What's the point? It was years ago and James is Francis's son. We don't need to bring up the past."

"Does that include what we did for Catherine?"

"Definitely," Kenna tells her, sighing. "Mary just move on. I have."

"Do you still... Are we good?" Mary asks fearfully, her grip tightening a little.

Kenna looks down at their joined hands and nods. "We're good as always, Mary."

"I'm so, so sorry..." Mary whispers, hugging Kenna tightly. "I love you so much."

"I forgive you, as always," Kenna mumbles, resting her chin on Mary's shoulder. "I love you, too."

...

Kenna wakes up with a headache and a foul mood. She hasn't called Bash back, deciding to have a moment to herself after Mary left. She was learning how to control all her negative emotions.

She grabs her phone and sends a quick text to Bash, asking him to bring Perrine to her. She knows that he'd be dropping Adrien off at school so she has time to think about what she wants to talk about with him before he arrives.

She has forgiven him for getting Mary pregnant, that was never their plan so she couldn't blame them. For something that happened before they were even serious enough to be an official couple, she can't and won't hold it against him.

Hell, she dated other guys behind his back. She never went beyond kissing and making out with them though. Just the occasional flirting at nightclubs. She was never one to sleep around, preferring to fly from one guy to another whenever she got bored without getting serious. Until Bash came along.

She goes to the door when she hears the slam of a car door outside. She's already prepared breakfast for them in the time it took to text him to the time she began thinking about her past.

Opening the door, she helps him bring in their children's travel bags as he carries Perrine in his arms. She's happy to see her daughter, but there's a little bit of her that doesn't want to wait until nap time to talk.

"Something smells good," Bash's words cut into her thoughts as she closes the front door behind her.

"I made breakfast," she replies, putting the bags onto the sofa. "Well, mostly for myself because it's hard cooking for a vegan. I made you some porridge with water instead of milk. Less creamy..."

He chuckles. "I was talking to my mum last night about that. I don't even know why she made me vegan - I want to try meat. I'm scared to though."

They head into the kitchen, Kenna placing the bowl of porridge onto the breakfast table first.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Maybe an upset stomach at first, but you won't be a killjoy at barbeques anymore. Also, I sincerely apologise for that time when I made you believe you ate meat," she replies, sitting down.

He grins as he sits with their daughter secure on his lap. He reaches over to grab a spoon and starts eating the porridge. He cringes at the bland taste but stays quiet much to her amusement. He knows she knew his thoughts about it, but he wants to ask what was up with her.

"You seem annoyed," he states, eyeing her. "Want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head. "It's nothing. Just family stuff," she lies. "Had a bit of an argument with my sister. Not so sure I want her visiting for a while."

She starts eating her poached eggs, thinking about how she told a half-lie. The sister? Well, her sister by friendship rather than biological. She will always want Mary in her life, it's impossible to even think about a life without her. It was hard leaving Mary to go and live in France, but she had to fight for her marriage even before it properly began.

"Perrine's christening," Bash brings up. "My mother is desperate to find out when we're going to do it. She thinks that it will be a good time to introduce her new partner."

"New partner? She never told me of a new partner," Kenna says, surprised.

He grins. "They got together before Christmas. It's only just got serious with her moving to Switzerland - they met online. I'm happy for her."

"That's really good," his wife says. "And yeah, I think we can start organising a christening. Nothing too big, Adi had a small one too."

"Why not? We can have a huge party to celebrate our daughter's life. She didn't have the best start and she's getting better, what's not to celebrate?"

"Bash, I don't want a big christening ceremony. Just close friends and family only," Kenna snaps. "We can have a party at home like we did for Adi's birthday."

Bash nods. "Okay, we'll have a small ceremony. I'll cancel the caterers."

"You called up the caterers? Were you planning this without me?"

"I just wanted to start preparing things so you didn't get overwhelmed. I had a date and we already had some ideas and-"

"Bash, this is a really important event in our daughter's life and you didn't involve me with the planning?" She cuts him off, hurt. "We were going to do this together. It's like our weddings all over again, I have no say!"

"Didn't I plan our second wedding to what you'd like?"

She sighs, rubbing her face. "Yes, but..." That's an argument for another time. "_I'm_ the one with the credentials to plan events. I did this for a living before we got married the first time. It's how I can afford to keep that apartment you're sleeping in today. Instead of planning other people's events, I want to plan my own or my family's."

"I'm sorry. That's me all over, I take over things and I should have spoken to you about the christening. I'll back off," he replies.

"No, don't," she says, touching his shoulder. "Together. We're in this together and we're going to do everything or most things together. Although I'd rather not have a dump with you watching me, so some stuff at least."

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "We've got the names, the godparents, what else do we need?"

"Don't cancel the catering or the Church. Or even the date," she tells him. "I've got everything else to plan. _We've_ got everything else to plan."

"My mother wants her to wear the same christening gown Adrien and I wore," Bash tells her.

Her face falls and she sighs. "Is it a must?"

"I-I don't know. I was hoping you'd speak to your parents about yours? I think it's fair since Adrien wore mine, Perrine can wear yours."

Kenna smiles softly at a memory. "It was my mamó's. Her mother had it specially made. She wore it and my father wore it too. And when Alex was born, he wore it and then Douglas. My father never imagined he'd meet my mum and have Paisley, Lockie and me. Mamó was so happy because my dad's siblings didn't have children or weren't on speaking terms with the family... My mother's christening gown went to my aunt and cousins... I'll ask my dad about mine."

"Where's your grandmother now? She didn't come to the wedding, either of them."

Kenna looks down at her food. "When she found out that I was marrying you, the first time, she was upset. She thought I was making a huge mistake and because I was her favourite, it hurt seeing me go. She died when Adi turned three."

"You didn't grieve..." Bash says.

"I did," she replies. "You didn't realise. You were away, it made it easier for me to not be seen as weak. I was married into your family, your family who didn't _do weak_. It was what made your father interested because I was stronger than I looked. Until I wasn't and, pills and dripping blood became my best friends."

"Yeah, weakness wasn't in my father's dictionary," Bash replies, quietly. "I thought that when I was a man of my own, I could handle him. I wouldn't be threatened by him or intimidated. My grandmother used to protect me. I'd run away into the woods for hours whenever he came to visit. Until he started bringing Francis, Henri and Charles over, I stopped hiding and faced him. He used them against me."

Kenna takes his hand and squeezes it. She wants to help him stop the pain, but she knows that the pain will always be there. Her own pain still remained from the skeletons in her wardrobe.

"Bash..." She starts, watching him readjust Perrine in his arms. "If Rowan's baby is yours, I won't..." She stops, unsure.

Will she be like Mary and accept the child into her family with open arms and forgiveness? Then again, she and Rowan were love rivals and Mary and Lola were best friends. Lola couldn't even be considered as a love rival because what happened between her and Francis was just a spur of the moment thing, both hurt by their relationships.

"I won't be upset," she finally finishes. "We will get through that together and set up a co-parenting-"

"Kenna, stop," Bash whispers. "No, don't be like that. I know that isn't you."

She glances down. "I'm trying, Bash. Let me try," she tells him. "It's not the first time I've had to do this. Accept things at face value and put aside my feelings for the sake of our relationship."

His eyes fall. "Mary told you?"

"No," she confesses, shaking her head. "I knew. I always knew, Bash. I had Mary begging me to hate her last night. You both will never know how much pain you caused me. But I am to blame for always forgiving and forgetting."

"I couldn't lose Francis... If I lost him, that was it. I also couldn't give her up and I'm sorry Kenna," Bash tells her. "I'm sorry I take what isn't mine to take. I'm sorry for not seeing that I had the perfect woman for me all along. I'm sorry for almost being James's father and letting you take blow after blow and still forgive me after. I'm sorry for making you lose yourself and making you feel like you were going insane. I want all my children to be yours. If they aren't, I won't..."

"Don't be like your dad and abandon your children outside of marriage. Feed them lies, hurt them like he hurt you. Bash, if this baby is yours, be the father you wished yours was to him or her. Love them, protect them, be their support and comfort in their time of need... Treat them as equal as possible to how you treat our children," she tells him. "I would have done the same if you and Mary had had that baby. The love I have for both of you would have been the same for that baby, a lot. Just like Mary has for John."

He lifts her chin with his free hand. "I really don't deserve you."

"No, you don't," she replies bluntly before she lets out a grin. "But aren't you lucky I've decided to put up with you? _Again_."

"I am. I really am."

...

_New Year's Day, Last Year_

"Happy New Year's," Diane said, kissing Kenna's cheek once the clock turned midnight. The older woman then moved on to giving her grandson a big hug and kiss.

"Happy New Year's," Kenna heard her husband tell his mother before he locked eyes with her.

Her heart skipped a beat and she turned around to pick their son up. With Adrien in her arms, she headed upstairs and put the child to sleep, kissing his head and whispering to him the season's greetings.

When she was done, she was surprised to see Bash waiting for her. He brushed some of her hair behind her ear and kissed her softly, making her back away quickly.

"H-Happy New Year's, Kenna," he mumbled, walking off like a kicked puppy.

She wiped her lips, wondering what other women he had kissed before her. She didn't want to feel them against her skin until she was ready to let him in. Or forget the idea of the other women's kisses.

Turning around, she went into her temporary room and found a gift box waiting for her. She opened it and found a picture of them on their wedding day. She wanted to throw it away or smash the glass, but she couldn't.

She loved him, she wanted him. She was still angry and upset that it took hurting her for him to see the damage he was doing to their marriage. If he even saw it.

Hugging the picture to her chest, she laid down and started to cry. Her cries were soft and quiet, scared that she'd wake everyone if she released them loudly.

After an hour, she got out of bed and headed towards the master bedroom. She opened the door and saw him fast asleep as if nothing was wrong. She could hear his soft snores, he seemed to fare better without her in bed as he was sprawled across her side and his.

She studied him, kneeling by the floor and watching him. He didn't wake when she brushed a finger across his cheek or when she ran it over his eye, wondering what he'd feel with a black eye himself.

Kenna felt unsure, staring at the ring on her wedding finger. She moved to take it off, but he shifted and turned away from her. She waited for a few minutes, making sure that he was still asleep.

Once certain, she headed into their walk-in wardrobe and got her suitcase. She began packing her clothes and shoes, neatly placing them in the case. She took her time, not bothered if he woke up and realised or not. She didn't know what to do.

All she knew was that she and Adrien could maybe disappear. She could plan this well, she had money - cash and on her card.

She then paused, wondering if this was truly the way to do things. Maybe this was drastic. It was only the one time, but didn't people say that it always started with the one time?

One time would be two times, two times would be three times and soon, she'll be another statistic. A statistic which would either end up good or bad. She definitely wanted to end up on the survivor list should anything happen.

"Kenna?"

She looked up and met Bash's tired, curious eyes. She didn't say anything, she simply closed her suitcase and stood up, bringing it up to stand by her side.

Stepping towards him, she kissed his lips lightly and pulled back. "Happy New Year's, Bash," she whispered, staring into his eyes.

She pulled away, then began wheeling the case out of their room and down the hall to the room she slept in.

She spent the morning hanging up her clothes and putting her shoes away in the wardrobe of the room she was staying in. She didn't think it would be possible to sleep in the same bed, let alone be in the same room as him.

She would be his wife, she would act her role for the sake of her son. _Their_ son. Everything she does from now on will always be for Adrien.

She woke up on the floor of the wardrobe later that morning. She studied herself in the mirror. She looked like a mess, not like the glam and beautiful woman she normally was.

She went to bed looking like a goddess and woke up still looking like a goddess. These days? She saw the flaws of her looks. The flaws of every little bit of her. The love for herself slowly leaving.

She didn't feel beautiful and she certainly didn't look beautiful. Her bruise was still evident, her eyes bloodshot and red from the nights she spent crying or awake.

His words were lies. Her life was a lie. Standing in front of her was a ghost. Someone she didn't recognise.

Normally, she'd revel in looking at herself in the mirror. Even on her worst days as a teenager, her looks were her comfort. How everyone wished they were her. How girls went to change their clothes or style their hair to look like hers.

"Am I really that ugly?" She whispered to herself, eyes wide in shock. "I can't be..."

Bash was certainly different from the man she met all those years ago. Different from the man who flirted with her, treated her well, got to be her first time and took her virginity... Now, if it wasn't an argument or avoidance he sought, it was something else. He'd pretend to be sweet so they'd have sex and he'd be satisfied. Well, she was his wife, he was free to claim her and sleep with her.

They hadn't even had sex in a while. He wouldn't touch her following the miscarriage as if she was dirt.

She wished she could learn from him, to not give a shit about everything. To go off and sleep with other people to dull the ache in her heart, her mind, her soul. He didn't care about anything except himself, not even Adrien, she bet.

Probably Adrien. She couldn't deny that he loved the boy despite the distance. When he was a baby, Bash and Adrien would watch the stars and fall asleep, the moonlight shining down on them.

For one of Bash's birthdays, she had a painting made of a picture she took of them and the moonlight hitting the faces of father and son. It made her happy how that painting was proudly against the wall of his office. She'd sometimes hear his business partners ask about it if they had meetings at the house.

"Tell my wife that," her husband would say happily. "She has a creative spirit and sourced the best, of course."

"Give me her number," a man had replied. "My wife needs to meet her as soon as possible."

Those were the days when they were a _team_. Hook, line and sinker - business moguls quick to share their ideas and money with Bash's family because of her. Even Henry used her, gushing at how wonderfully entrepreneurial she was and how his son had chosen a great woman with a good head on her shoulders.

After a much-needed shower, she fixed her hair and did her makeup. Her life a continuous line of wake up, shower, makeup, pretend, sleep. She wore a light grey knit dress, brown knee-length socks and grey heeled booties.

Although she looked sexy, she didn't feel it. She felt out of place. Like this wasn't her life anymore. Like she wasn't this person. She felt like an imposter in her own life.

She found breakfast being cleared away when she reached the dining room and Adrien went off to play with his toys as Diane followed. She felt the woman's hand squeeze her shoulder as she brushed past and left the husband and wife alone.

"Kenna... It's been six days. I'm so sorry, please," he said.

She stood there, folding her hands one over the other. She didn't look at him, she kept her eyes trained on the toast which still was laid on the table. Her stomach rumbled.

"I've given you space. I think it's enough and we should forget about it. God, how long are you going to... It's a new year and..." He rubbed his face in frustration and twisted his wedding ring. "You're my wife and I need you. This morning... we're trying _right_?"

Quietly, she grabbed the plate of toast and the jam jar. She then headed towards the kitchen and ate with the kitchen staff. She could tell that they were hesitant to make conversation with her, but for now, they jested and celebrated the New Year with her.

After she was full, she left the kitchen. She waited outside, behind the archway once she heard something that surprised her.

"The Madame is still not talking to the Monsieur. Does anyone know what happened?"

"Whatever happened, happened on Christmas Eve - did you see how she ignored him the whole of Christmas Day?"

Another voice said, "You can cut the tension in the house with a knife."

"Poor woman looked frightened of her husband, though," the first voice said.

"That's how it goes. Men with power and money think they can abuse their wives and the women can't speak because of the money and the children. He can destroy her. I wish we could help, but I'd like to keep my job," the second voice replied.

"Don't be an imbecile," the third voice said. "She's not being abused! She probably wants to suck him dry of his money."

Kenna scowled, wanting to tell them off. She was stopped by the second voice.

"Madame has a lot of money herself that her husband cannot touch. Why would she want _his_ money? She won't even need child support if they divorce. She has enough to last her great-grandchildren!"

"Be quiet!" A new voice came into the conversation. Kenna recognised it to be the chef. Chef Bordeaux was a scary woman who never had a fault cooking. Except for the time she cooked with nutmeg, that wasn't her fault though. "It's none of our business... We all know of the Monsieur's affairs, why are you blaming Madame?"

Kenna almost collapsed. Even the staff knew about Bash's infidelities. She should have kept the clothes packed. She should have-

"Kenna?"

"Diane," she said, her voice breaking as she walked up to her, hands clenched. "I want to leave him-"

"No-"

"I want a divorce-"

"Kenna, just-"

"I hate him!" Kenna whispered angrily. "I'm sick and tired and I want this to be over. I don't even care, I'll give him all my money in the divorce - I just want my son."

Diane hugged her tightly, stroking her hair. "No, Kenna. Don't do anything rash. What happened on Christmas Eve?"

"He hates me," Kenna whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "He said the most horrible things and I can't bear them. They're in my head, they're when I look at him! How can I be married to someone who doesn't love me?"

"He loves you," Diane quickly said. "He loves you, Kenna."

"He doesn't," Kenna snapped, breaking away from Diane's arms.

She felt Diane grip her arms tightly. "He does. You need to put whatever happened to the side and make things work. For you, for him and for your son. Please, be happy,"

"I'm not happy, Diane. I'm not happy in this marriage."

"Things will blow over. You'll be okay," Diane told her.

Kenna avoided Bash for eleven more days until everything ultimately ended and she could no longer bear the pain.

He'd ended things, she had felt relief.

He'd hurt her, she had felt nothing.

It was okay because she was going to rebuild her life.

...

_Present Day_

"All done," Kenna says, closing up the box full of party favours. "I forgot how exciting making party gifts were! Oh, remind me to pop to the jewellery store."

Bash kisses her head with a smile and heads to the sink. "What do you need?"

"Oh, some gifts," she replies nonchalantly. "For our daughter's godparents."

"That's a great idea," Bash says, filling up a glass. "Do you need my..." He grins, blushing. "Sorry. You're a modern woman and all that."

"Thank you," Kenna says high-pitched as she gets up and places the box down on the ground, under the table. "Babe..."

"Yeah?"

She swallows deeply, crossing her arms nervously. "H-How guilty did you feel after our.._. incident_ during Christmas? Did you mean everything you said after New Year's and on my birthday? T-That you missed and needed me?"

Bash turns the tap off and turns to her. "I did feel incredibly guilty for hurting you. I had no right to try and sweet talk you into staying with me. It wasn't as if we slept in the same bed with me going off and... Or even as if we had sex. I was scared of what my dad would do to you, to me, to Adi... He then said we could use it to our advantage, that you were boring anyway."

"After all the things I did for you, him and your family?" She asks, hurt.

"Yeah," he whispers, nodding. "But I did miss you. There would be things that I'd see or hear and think, 'I know exactly who would have liked this'. I needed your comfort because you were a constant in my life and I got selfish and became a complete arsehole. I should have protected you more."

"It's in the past now. _Henry's_ in the past," she says firmly as she checks him over. "Right, we need to buy some new clothes!"

Bash raises his eyebrows. "Do we need new clothes for our kid's christening?"

"Yes, Sebastian!" She laughs. "Show everyone that we are the envy of the Church."

"That's not very Catholic-like," he teases her, sipping his water. "Envy is such an ugly colour."

"It is indeed and I'm the Queen of Perfection so we must match as a family. I'll have her godmothers in the same colours as each other too, perhaps vanilla cream or baby yellow. Might have powder blue or periwinkle blue-"

"Or ice blue or even rainbows and unicorns... Kenna, I think we can let the clothes go!" Bash chuckles.

She pouts. "We're organising this and it has to be perfect. It's the first event I'm organising since I've been ill, I need to be on my game. I've accepted an offer to plan a wedding for two months time. Actually, I've accepted a good few offers."

"You're going back to work?" He asks, surprised.

"Yeah," she mumbles. "Being my own boss means I won't get sexually assaulted or work overtime."

"Kenna... Do you... Do you still have nightmares about that?"

She nods sadly, smiling a little. "It's nothing. He didn't get far-"

"He hurt our unborn child-"

"It's in the past," she says firmly. "I want to forget he ever existed. I want to forget Antoine existed. I want to forget every other man but you. And also the past..."

She walks over to him, cupping his cheeks as his arms slip around her waist. She likes how they fit so perfectly, so seamlessly as one. One love, two hearts, two souls.

"It's always been you," she says, not expecting for him to say it back. He's been in love with Rowan and Mary. She can't expect him to say-

"It will always be you."

_That_. She can't expect him to say that, but he does. So confidently and firmly and _true_.

"Right, let's make sure the caterers have your vegan options confirmed," she says, kissing him. "Why don't you eat a meaty burger already and allow everyone to not grin and bear your dietary requirements?"

He smiles. "I'm good. Not even Francis can convince me."

"Damn it. I can't entice you with-"

"Not even you, Kenna," he cuts her off, becoming flushed. "I know you won't want us to... So let's separate before we repeat our adventurous side from France, yeah?"

She giggles, letting go of him as he heads to the toilet. She checks her phone and sees that she's got three calls from Lola. It makes her confused and she texts the brunette just in case.

{To Lola: **Sorry, was busy making gift favours with Bash. What's up? x**}

{From Lola: **Really need to see you. Can we meet at the cafe across my workplace? x**}

"Bash?!" Kenna calls out.

"Yeah?!"

"I'm going to pop out for a bit. I'll be back soon!"

"Okay!"

She puts her coat on and heads out with her car keys. She re-reads Lola's text and tries to decipher it. She can't so she starts her car and drives down to the local secondary school to meet her friend.

When she arrives, she orders two lattes for them and finds a seat by the window. She watches as cars pass by, one nearly causing an accident as it drives out of the school carpark.

Kenna wonders if any of her kids will attend this school in the future. It's close enough and if they have Lola as a teacher, they'd be sure to have the best education with her help. On the other hand, they would probably attend a private school.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Lola says, taking a winded breath as she sits down and puts her bag on the chair beside her.

"What's up?" Kenna asks, sliding the latte over to her.

Lola gags. "No, thanks. I'm-"

"Pregnant?" Kenna finishes, grinning. "Congratulations!"

Lola blushes, glancing down. "Yeah."

"You don't seem so happy about it?"

Lola looks up, surprised. "I-I am. I mean, I told Stephane last night..."

"And there's a 'but'," Kenna says.

Lola nods sadly and takes to stirring the latte instead. "Eduard's expecting his first child, too. I was thinking about telling Stephane about John. I've kept it from him since the beginning and-"

"Are you ready for that?"

"I don't know. I have to tell him, right? It's not only me and John though. Mary and Francis are involved and so are Jamie and Anne. We're already talking about considering moving to Scotland-"

"Scotland?" Kenna cuts her off. "Wait, why?"

Lola smiles wryly. "He got a really good job offer up there. I never even knew he was looking or a job. Apparently, my father talked to him about wanting me to be closer. Our relationship is being mended and my parents want to get closer to me so they want us all up there. Even Sutton's thinking about coming back to Scotland."

"Oh," Kenna whispers sadly. "Do you want to leave?"

"No. I love my job here, the kids are amazing and so are my colleagues. Also, you guys are here and the support system we have is great already. I can see John, be involved in his life... The other day, Francis asked what I thought about regarding his education. They make me feel involved and if we move to Scotland, I'd rarely see my godson, the kid I gave birth to."

Kenna feels for her, reaching over to hold her hand. "I know how you feel. Well _not_ directly, but still..."

"What do you mean, Kens?"

"I may or may not be a stepmum soon," Kenna reveals. "Bash... during our _break_, shall we say? He... got Rowan pregnant."

"The same Rowan that we all hate and wish she never existed?" Lola asks, eyes wide. "Kenna, I'm so sorry!"

Kenna waves it off. "It's fine. I've thought long and hard about it. I guess it's a Valois thing, having children outside the marriage," she says lightly, making Lola smile. "If the baby is his, I'd want him to have a part in their life. I'll be there and I'd support him."

"Kenna, years ago, you wouldn't have even said or accepted this."

"God, no," Kenna says. "But we're all mature adults now and c'est la vie."

Lola nods. "C'est la vie, indeed."

"Oh, Lola, I hope you find a solution. If you need anything, we're all here for you."

"I know and I'm grateful," Lola replies. "I hope you and Bash get through this as well."

Kenna gives her a bright smile. "Thank you. Now, let's get you something else, eh?"

...

_Seven Years Ago - Two Months of Dating_

Out of curiosity, Kenna eyed Bash's beeping phone. He was in the toilet, presumably throwing up with how long he was in there. She had performed a prank on him, making him think he was eating a real meat burger and not a vegan one. His symptoms were in his mind and she had apologised profusely, even taking to eating the vegan burger as punishment. She sincerely hated the texture.

Now as he vomited or emptied his bowels, she picked up his phone and looked through his phone since it was unlocked already. He'd left in quite a hurry much to her amusement.

She gasped when she saw the calls and texts blowing up his phone were from Mary. The topic of the texts made her sick and she shook, rereading everything numbly.

{From Mary (3:04 PM): **I'm pregnant, Bash. Need to talk ASAP.**}

{From Mary (3:13 PM): **Why aren't you answering? It might be yours. Well, I think it's yours. The dates add up.**}

{From Mary (3:20 PM): **We need to talk, Bash! I don't want to keep hurting Francis and you're with Kenna. We need to talk about this. xxx**}

She removed all traces of her using his phone and placed it back to its position on the table. She and Bash weren't serious, so she couldn't be upset. But she thought about Francis and how that would destroy him. Francis was lovely, he didn't deserve this.

When he returned, he seemed less green and more relieved. He kissed the side of her head, further taking away any fears he was upset with her. It was a harmless joke and he hadn't actually digested any animal products.

"I'm going to get you back so hard," he said, reaching over to grab his phone. "I've never thrown up like that in my life!"

She giggled softly, her smile disappearing. "Why don't we go on holiday? Work has been quiet."

"Where do you want to go?"

"We can try Singapore," she said, getting up. "I've got some new swimwear that I've not had the chance to put on. That hotel that was on the TV with the infinity pool, I can get us a great room."

He dug into his pocket and retrieved his wallet, chucking it her way as she caught it. "Use my card, you know the pin." He glanced to his phone and picked it up.

She smiled wryly. "Why don't I treat us?"

"Just use my card," he replied, laughing. His eyes fell when he looked at the screen of his phone. "And, uh, buy whatever clothes and shoes you want to take there with it. I saw that the Versace website updated. You love Versace."

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost, sweetie?" She asked, straddling his hips and pushing his phone to the side.

"N-Nothing," he breathed out. "I've got a meeting. My father said I should go on his behalf since it's in London a-and he's still in France sorting stuff out."

Kenna didn't mind that he was lying. She lied to him herself. She saw other men, thinking their relationship wasn't official or exclusive enough to be committed to only each other. Hell, he was fucking his sister-in-law and had got her pregnant! They were just as bad as each other.

"Stay with me?" She asked shyly.

"I'll make it up to you this evening. Dinner with a chance of no pranks," he replied, kissing her. "Come on, let me go. The sooner I do this, the sooner we can-"

"End up in bed all night?" She asked sultrily.

"God, yes," he said, his lips moving down to her neck, leaving hot love bites. "I can't get enough of you."

_You can't get enough of Mary, too it seems,_ she thought, pulling his head closer.

"Let me go," he finally said, gently coercing her to the side as he got up. "See you, Beautiful."

"See you..." She mumbled as he left.

During dinner, he had made the plunge and asked if they were serious. She thought they were. If they were going to be serious, she'd stop seeing those other men.

"So are we?" He asked, grabbing her hand and staring into her eyes hopefully.

She nodded. "We are, aren't we?" She replied, smiling a little.

"And do we want this to be _permanent_? I can see myself with you, Kenna. I won't lie," he said. "I want us to be exclusive, tell everyone we're together. We're happy."

She beamed. "Yeah, I guess! I want that for us, too."

"So, we're doing this? Boyfriend and girlfriend, we're doing this?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding. "Well, Boyfriend, _you're paying_."

"You've just trapped me, haven't you?" He joked, kissing her. "You're amazing, Girlfriend."

"And you're perfect, Boyfriend," she replied happily.

If he wanted to be serious, that meant that he and Mary were over for good and the baby wasn't his. But Mary said the dates added up... Oh, well. she will have to accept it if she and Bash were going to be a lifetime commitment. Mary had accepted John, hadn't she?

It was a start though. She and Bash were on their way to being a wonderful couple and she really liked him. She was excited to see what the future brought them. She hoped for wedding bells one day since he ticked everything on her checklist.

...

_Present Day_

"That one," Kenna tells the sales assistant, pointing at a simple design on a ring.

The sales assistant unlocks the glass cabinet and retrieves the pad on which the ring lies on. She presents it to Kenna, making sure that it's the one she wants.

"Yeah, it will match," she says to herself. "Can there be an inscription?" She asks.

"Depending on the number of words," the sales assistant says, bored. "I'll have to ask my manager."

Kenna nods. "Can you get them?"

The sale assistant presses a 'call' button on the desk and they wait until a man comes from out the back, dressed in an expensive-looking suit.

"How may I help you today, ma'am?" He asks.

The sales assistant speaks. "She'd like an inscription done."

"I'll take over," the manager replies, watching her go and attend another customer. "She's new, forgive her."

"No, she's been helpful," Kenna replies, eyeing the ring. "I'd like it to be a Ring of Friendship. I want four of them done."

"And the inscription?"

She smiles. "Something cheesy. We're that kind of people," she says lightly. "'Friendship Lasts For Eternity' - that."

"That will fit," the manager tells her.

"Do you think they will be ready by exactly a month's time?"

"We are known for our fast service," he easily replies.

She nods. "Great. Then, I'd like to add two more orders. This time for a necklace and four pairs of cufflinks... I saw a really nice necklace that can have birthstones incorporated. I want that to have an emerald birthstone and behind it, '31st March' inscribed."

The manager grins as the prospect of making four sales at once. "Let's talk about that some more..."

When she gets home, Adrien is already eating his dinner as Perrine lies down in her baby rocker. It's a sight to Kenna. Seeing Bash as a stay-at-home dad with his cooking and conversing with their son, talking about how they will tackle his homework.

"You were a while," Bash notes, finally noticing her.

She presses a kiss on top of Adrien's head. "The manager of the store droned on, trying to make me spend more than I needed. Sorry."

"It's fine," he replies, serving her a plate. "I hope it's not too salty. I couldn't try it, obviously."

Kenna grins. "Oh, thank you. It's fine, I love Scotch Pies!"

"I know," Bash replies. "I called your father. He gave me a partial family recipe to make it. It won't taste the same as to what you're used to, but I hope I've done well."

She digs in, nodding in acceptance. "This tastes alright. Not like my father's mother's original recipe, but it's great. Great job, babe."

"Pepe's is better," Adrien tells them cheekily, receiving a ruffle of his hair from Bash.

As they eat, Bash eating something a vegetable pie, Bash bites his lip nervously. He watches Kenna and Adrien eat and Perrine look around and wonders if his family dynamic will change if Rowan's baby was his.

Will they come down for the weekend or for holidays? Will Adrien have to attempt to get along with the baby after his reluctance towards Perrine when she was born?

"Don't think too hard, it will hurt," he hears his wife say.

He smiles, placing his fork down. "It's nothing," he says. "I was thinking about bringing over Luna."

"Luna will love to meet Hunter!" Adrien replies, nodding. "Why don't you bring Oakley and Paris too, Papa?"

"I'm thinking that if we go to France every year, we might want to ride them. I don't know, It will be a hassle to bring them all over, especially since my mother is not there."

Kenna nods. "What about Louise or Francesca? Can't they help from that side?"

"Louise and Valentin moved into the family home, they're planning to start a family and they're really busy. I don't want to trouble them," Bash says, waving it off. "I'm bored, that's all. I was thinking about entering competitions like I did when I was younger. Luna won three silvers and-"

"Seven golds!" Adrien finishes, turning to his mother. "Luna is _amazing_."

"Isn't Luna old?" Kenna asks her husband. "I remember that she wasn't as fast as she was in her prime years."

"Yeah," Bash replies. "She's around eighteen..."

"Wouldn't Oakley be a better choice to compete?" Kenna continues, taking another forkful of the pie.

"Or even Hunter?" Adrien adds.

Bash grins. "Tag-team," he teases them. "Oakley is young and he is tamed. And Hunter, it will be while to make him into a prize-winning horse, Adi. I want Luna here because she was my first female horse, my escape."

"I think it's great you're thinking about starting a hobby like that," Kenna says. "If it's a weekend thing, go for it."

"I hear the silent 'but'," Bash says sighing.

"I thought we already saw what this is," Kenna says, gesturing between all of them. "I work and you-"

"Be the stay-at-home dad?" Bash finishes, strained. "Forget about it - it was just an idea."

"No, I'm not saying that you-"

"Adrien, if you're done can you excuse Mama and me?"

Adrien freezes, looking between his parents. He silently picks up his plate and goes to eat and watch TV instead.

"Bash-"

"Kenna, when have I ever seemed the sort to be a stay-at-home parent? What would I do when Adrien's at school and Perrine's asleep? Read books on how to parent better? Wait for you to come home and cook and bake hundreds of cupcakes every day?"

"Bash, I didn't mean-"

"You haven't even asked how job hunting is going. It's hard, you know. You'd think it will be easier, namedropping the family business. It isn't, though because people either hated or mistrusted my father through what they heard on the grapevine and they would ask why I wasn't involved with Francis and the rest anymore," Bash continues. "I want something of my own. I don't want to live or spend my father's money for the rest of my life because he still has that hold on me."

Kenna looks down and nods. "I get it. I'm sorry, I should have been more considerate."

"I know I coerced you into quitting your jobs and I regret that because you needed that independence... But you were great at bringing our son up and I still find myself learning new things. I'm scared I will mess it up. If I ease into this, it will be easier for us all."

"I haven't worked since we separated," Kenna tells him, slightly upset. "How could I on the verge of mental breakdowns and practically wasting away? I can't tell you what to do and I shouldn't have assumed that you will take on the role of caring for our children and I earn the money for once. I don't want to live a life where my husband shoves his card in front of me whenever I even look at a shopping website or at a store. I've always been independent. Clingy, yes, but independent."

"You're absolutely right and can we just promise each other that whatever it is, we'll be okay? No more paying for each other and assuming things," he says.

"Deal."

He gets up, kissing her lips as he heads into the living room. He finds Adrien crying, curled up into a ball on the sofa.

"Oh, Adrien. What's wrong?"

"Were you and Mama arguing?" Adrien hiccups.

Bash chuckles. "No, we weren't. We just had a disagreement."

"Kyle's parents had many disagreements and he had to go and live with his mama," the boy replies. "Mama and I came here when you and she had that big fight and all of those disagreements and-"

"Adrien, Mama and I can sincerely promise you that what happened in France will never ever happen again. We weren't happy and now we are. You and your sister are important and we love you both so much to fight like that. That was not something we ever wanted you to be around, things were hard and we just weren't happy."

"So, you-you weren't arguing now?" Adrien asks shyly, wiping his tears.

Bash shakes his head. "We kissed. Do you want to see Mama and me kissing?"

"Eww! No!" Adrien cries out in horror. "I'm the only one you're supposed to kiss!"

"Is that right?" Bash laughs. "So I can't kiss my wife?"

"No."

Kenna walks in with Perrine in her arms. "Wait, what?"

Bash looks up at her, grinning. "Apparently, we can't kiss anyone but Adrien."

Kenna pouts. "But Adrien, your papa is a great kisser!"

"No...!" Adrien says, blocking his ears.

"Kiss me," Kenna says to her husband.

Bash stands up and swipes her hair behind her ear before kissing her softly. It makes Adrien pull at his father's shirt and stand between them.

"Stop it!" He says, giggling.

Kenna presses her lips harder against Bash's, grinning when Adrien's hand reaches up to make a barrier between their lips. They finally pull apart and Bash lifts Adrien up into his arms.

"Hey, Little Man, I can kiss my wife when I please."

"Fine," Adrien grumbles. "Only after you kiss me and Perrine first!"

Adrien beams when he feels both of his parents kiss his cheeks. He wraps his arms around their necks, bringing them closer.

"I love you, both."

"We love you, too," Kenna replies, grinning when Perrine makes a soft coo. "And so does your sister. We love her, too."

...

Two weeks later, Kenna and Bash book a weekend getaway for each of their friends. The girls were at a spa and the guys took to the stables, deciding to camp out in the woods nearby. The kids were being looked after their grandparents. Well, for the Castleroys, at least three nannies as Yvette took time for herself.

Douglas, Lachlan and Paisley had all come from Scotland to join in on the getaway with Alexander taking the weekend off from work.

"The great outdoors," Alexander announced, stepping out of the taxi. "Which way is the hotel?"

Douglas gave him a look. "Mate, we're camping."

"Camping?" Alex asks, eyes wide. "Not in these Versace loafers, I'm not."

"Will you wear them as we ride the horses?" Stephane asks him, grabbing his bag from the boot. "I never knew the Beatons were so spoiled."

"Alexander and Kenna were," Douglas defends himself, Lachlan nodding. "Being the eldest son and eldest daughter, whatever they wanted, they got."

Bash grins, bringing out all the bags. "Sounds about right. If you knew my first impression of him..."

A while later, most of the guys had their tents set up. Alexander and Lachlan had decided that a hotel would suit them better. They even promised to bring out food or drink if anyone wanted anything.

"I assume you've had some interesting experiences," Aloysius says to Douglas as they set up their tent. "Sebastian told me about you being in the Army."

Douglas nods, sending the older man a smile. "Been through the wars," he says lightly. "Camping is nothing."

"I would imagine," Aloysius replies. "Have you been horseriding before?"

"My parents own stables in Scotland. I know how to ride horses, but horses weren't the kind of horsepower I went for. I was interested in motorbikes as Alexander and Kenna went horseriding," Douglas says.

"Oh? I've owned a few motorbikes myself during my youth," Aloysius tells him. "My wife told me that you used to date."

Douglas smiles. "She did, huh? It was only a very brief relationship - I left and she got with-"

"Leith. A lovely chap."

"Do you intend to befriend your wife's exes?" Douglas asks him teasingly.

"They're all really friendly," Aloysius replies happily. "Maybe, it's something in the Scottish waters."

Douglas snorts. "Yeah, maybe. Do you want to grab a beer?"

"Oh, yes! I'd love to know more about your days serving our Queen and Country!"

By their tent, Bash throws in the sleeping bag and turns to his brother. "Do you actually want to help me or are you going to stand there?"

Francis grins. "I'm not doing anything. It's fun watching you struggle."

"Struggle?" Bash repeats. "Have you forgotten France? Get out of here!"

The blonde laughs, heading to grab a beer with the others as Stephane joins them. He sends Alexander a text to ask for the brothers to come with a bottle of wine for Bash, Aloysius and Alexander.

...

"Kenna, you don't know how much I needed this," Greer says, eyes closed and laid back as nail technicians do her feet and hands.

Kenna giggles. "You've gone back to work?" She asks her knowingly.

"Yeah," Greer replies, sighing in relief. "God, I had five patients in one day and my colleagues didn't stop complimenting my skinny arse after giving birth. I know they're trying to ease me in, but if the next person asks how old my baby is now, I won't be so smiley after."

"I'm the opposite. I love the attention I get from being pregnant," Mary pipes up. "Now Francis and I have talked things through, he can't get enough of me."

"There must be something in the French waters," Kenna replies. "If I wasn't wanting it, Bash wanted it. I don't think there was a day we didn't have sex when I was pregnant with Adi."

Lola giggles. "Or maybe it's just the Valoises."

"Maybe," Mary and Kenna mutter before laughing with their friends.

"So, how's pregnancy going for you?" Mary asks Lola, reaching over to take her hand.

Lola blushes furiously. "Not so good. The morning sickness is horrible and Stephane keeps his distance. With the whole shutting down the move to Scotland argument, we've been in tepid waters."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Mary says, the other women nodding. "Did you tell him about John?"

"How could I? We've barely said two words since I made him call my parents and turn down that job," Lola replies. "I just want to be around you guys and see John."

"The same John you won't use as an excuse to defend yourself?" Greer asks her. "Oh, come on. Suck it up and tell Stephane if that's what you want to do. It's better now than later when he finds out from someone else. He'll understand."

Lola nods. "I'll talk when we get back from our weekends away." She smiles, rubbing her small bump. "Right, tomorrow what have we got scheduled?"

"Food tasting and massages," Kenna reveals. "But first, before we even think about tomorrow, I have some gifts for you."

She gets up and digs through her bag to retrieve three gift bags. She hands one to each of her friends and collects the fourth bag for herself from her bag.

"Open your gifts."

Kenna snaps a photo of the moment her friends see the rings and gasp, awe and smile happily.

"Kenna, wh-what is this for?" Greer asks putting the ring on her right ring finger.

"For being my best friends since forever. For being my children's godmothers. For being my support systems... God, there are a million reasons why I love you three from the bottom of my heart and I could be here forever telling you so. I've been wanting to give you those since I got married _again,_" Kenna tells them.

Lola wipes tears from her eyes as she says, "This reminds me of the friendship bracelets we got at your first wedding. God, Kenna... Why are you so bloody sweet?"

They laugh, wiping tears off their cheeks.

"Kenna, hug me before I get there first and trust me, my back kills just to get up," Mary says.

Kenna stands and bends down to hug her tightly. It lasts for a while before she moves on to Greer and then Lola.

"Right, let's crack open the champagne!" Greer says. "Well, the non-alcoholic beverages for two women breastfeeding and two pregnant women-"

"Get the flipping bottle already!" Lola laughs. "Before the two pregnant women start breastfeeding..."

...

"It's like after all these years being in each other's lives, getting married twice and having children, Kenna doesn't _get_ me," Bash says, taking a sip from his wine later that night. "Am I being fair? I don't know..."

"That's just women in general," Aloysius says. "Not that Greer is like that, of course. But in their defence, we don't get _them_."

Francis nods. "I can't tell you how many times Mary and I diverge from the same path."

"Marriage is about compromise," Stephane finally says, nudging his head in Aloysius's direction. "I'm sure he can agree."

"Oh, yes. My late wife, Yvonne and I rarely argued. Mostly because we saw things the same," the older man replies. "Greer and me... We're getting there. It's harder with a younger wife."

"Indeed," Stephane replies, clinking his beer bottle with Aloysius's wine glass. He turns to the three brothers. "When are you getting married?"

Douglas scoffs. "With what woman? God, don't be like my parents."

"I'd rather not talk about my love life, too," Alex says. "Much less with a brother-in-law that I'm still getting to know and three other men I barely know."

"Aren't we lucky that we have a whole weekend to get to know each other better?" Aloysius replies, beaming. "Right, any top-ups?"

After getting new beers or having their travel mugs topped up, they continued talking.

"How are you enjoying house-husband life?" Alex asks Bash. "Kenna said she was returning to work."

"Huh," Bash replies. "It's not a permanent thing - me staying at home. I've got options."

Lachlan looks up from his silence. "Sure, you have."

Bash sends him a playful glare before sighing. "I'm _contemplating_ options."

"You can always come back," Francis tells him. "I need you, but you do you. Not that I don't want you to come back, but take your time. You know what, come back and we can-"

"You're on the way to giving us all aneurysms," Alex mutters.

Bash laughs. "No, Francis. Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I'll ever go back to Valois & Company. It isn't the best thing for me. Ever."

"We can rebrand. 'Valois Brothers'," Francis suggests.

"I'm not a Valois."

"Yes, you are. Legally you are - I saw your birth certificate-"

"You saw what?"

Francis nods slowly. "Mum was cleaning through Dad's stuff and she found all of our birth certificates."

"That can't be right, my mother has my birth certificate. I used it in France," Bash replies.

"I'll tell you about it later," Francis says, clearing his throat. "Right. Any more lacklustre love tales or job queries?"

"How does it feel being a stay-at-home dad, though?" Douglas asks. "I really want to know. Considering settling down and taking a relaxed approach to life."

Bash shrugs. "It's alright, I guess? Except for when Adrien really tries my patience. He's obedient with Kenna, but me... It's a whole new ballgame. I had to threaten to stop taking him to ride Hunter before he listened and put down his tablet."

"Mothers naturally have the discipline and patience to raise children," Aloysius tells them. "None of my children listens to me, they all listen to Greer. Even those that are not hers. Doesn't make me a bad father."

"No, that makes you a good cop," Alex says. "I'm glad that women take over the bad cop role. In bed as well... The roleplay-"

"Okay, this got sexual real quick," Lachlan says, putting his headphones on.

"Anyway, moving _back_ to children rearing..." Bash says, sending Alexander a warning look. Not yet, for that. At least until they were pretty drunk.

Stephane clears his throat. "I wouldn't know, I barely raised my sons. I won't make the same mistake again with this new baby."

"Yes," Bash says. "Now, I can relate to that. Kenna tells me it will take time, but I want results now. I want to be able to have fun with Adrien, but set some boundaries when he's misbehaving. I didn't discipline him when he was going through his phase and he never came to me when he was getting bullied. I got a real telling off from Kenna. I just want to be a part of their lives. I'll do better for Perrine."

"To fatherhood," Stephane replies, raising his beer bottle. Everyone clinks their drinks with his own drink.

"To fatherhood," everyone says, except Lachlan who looks up in confusion.

"What are you all toasting for?" He asks, taking his headphones off.

Alex tuts. "Shut up, Lachlan."

...

"I think being a stay-at-home dad will be refreshing for Bash," Paisley says the next day. She had been unwell the previous night so could finally join them now. "Considering you had to quit your job three times for him. Your event planning business was going really well until you got with him."

Kenna rolls her eyes. "I didn't quit my job for anyone."

"You did," the women all say making her groan.

"Okay, yes," Kenna admits. "Now, it's my time to do something that counts. That means something to me."

Mary nods. "And Bash can get closer to the kids."

"He's complaining though," Kenna tells them. "Says that I didn't ask what he wanted. He doesn't realise that I'm trying my best to get myself back together. I want to be the Kenna he first got with, the one who didn't take pills or cut or tried to kill herself... The one who was independent, sexy and didn't take any bullshit. I don't want to be this version of myself, I want to be better. I can't do that if I'm worried about our children."

"Everything will work itself out," Lola assures her.

"Yeah, all you can do is have faith that things will be better," Greer adds. "Now, who is up for that food tasting? We're trying olive and cheese first. I don't know the hype about what this place does for it, but I'm down."

"Same here," Paisley says. "I wonder how the boys are getting on."

Kenna chuckles. "Bash _lives_ for the outdoors."

"I won't be surprised if Alexander stayed at a hotel," Paisley replies. "Not in his Ralph Laurens and Gucci flip flops."

"He's really spoiled, isn't he?" Lola asks. "I wonder what I saw in him!"

Greer raises her eyebrows. "At least your ex and your husband are not in the same tent. I had a few texts last night saying how wonderful Douglas is from Aloysius!"

"Your husband is a strange creature," Mary tells her. "Befriending your exes."

"He's not really the jealous or threatened type. I believe if he was either of those things, he'd challenge his love rival to a duel of guns or Fencing," Greer replies, making them giggle. "What about Francis?"

Mary rolls her eyes playfully. "I'm just wondering when he will realise that he can't put his hundred hair care products in. He might join Alexander in the hotel!"

Lola snorts. "So true. Stephane's really good outdoors. He's cooped up in an office all day, it's great for him to have some fresh air. He brought Berry, his first girl in his life."

"What?" They all ask alarmed.

She grins. "_Wild Berry_, his Mérens horse."

"Oh, should have known," Kenna mutters. "It is a horseriding getaway. Bash couldn't get either three of his horses here in time. They'll come next week. He's riding Adrien's Hunter. You all know Hunter, the bloody expensive Belgian horse?"

Greer smirks. "Aloysius named his Clydesdale horse _Tiny Pip_. I don't even know why and don't ask him either."

Mary brings a hand to her forehead. "_Banana Pie_. Francis named his Boulonnais horse, _Banana Pie_."

"You wouldn't believe what Dad got Alexander and Douglas," Paisley tells them. "Two Eriskay horses as 'welcome home' presents."

"What about mine? I came home too..." Kenna asks, frowning. "I guess they were Dad's firstborns."

"Enough about them," Greer finally says. "You booked this to get away from the guys in our lives, let's enjoy it."

...

Alexander puts his helmet on, listening to the horseriding instructor talking about safety measures as the other men get ready.

"I might sit this one out," Lachlan says, coming to him nervously. "I'm an indoors kind of guy, I don't think I'll be okay."

"It's fine," Stephane says before Alex can say anything. "It takes a real man to ride a real beast. Take Berry for example. She's a tough old girl and-"

"Banana Pie will outrun her," Francis tells him. "He's been trained in France from age three."

Bash rubs Hunter's neck and says, "I'm going to try and get my horses down here to start training again. Hunter's not going to make me win this race. But we'll see if he is competition material."

"Why don't you train him?" Douglas asks, leading his horse towards them.

"He won't be a competition horse," Bash replies, patting the horse. "He's Adrien's birthday gift, he can decide what he will be. What about your horses?"

Alex finally says, "Midnight was trained by the very best. He's the son of my father's award-winning horse, Shadow. Douglas's Black Moon is Shadow's daughter."

"So I have three horses to look out for," Stephane says, eyeing the beasts. "Okay, gentlemen. A reasonable, clean wager to uphold."

"Y-You're putting money on this?" Lachlan asks. "I'm definitely out because my parents still pay for my way." He backs away, taking his helmet off. "I'll remain with the instructor and film for evidence."

Bash contemplates it. "Yeah, go on then. If my wife doesn't want me spending money on her, I'll bet it all. Well, a small, minor portion - let's not get trigger-happy here."

Francis grins. "If he's in, I am too. We all know Hunter is going to lose." He eyes Bash tauntingly.

"I've bred three horses and owned five at one point. I can work with Hunter, even with the worse horse on the planet - do not get any ideas," Bash replies.

"How exciting!" Aloysius exclaims. "Well, should we all put one thousand in?"

Alex chuckles. "That's nothing. We're all in money, here," he says, sharing a look with Douglas. "How about ten?"

"Ten thousand?" Douglas asks, eyes wide. "I don't have that kind of money!"

"I'll lend ya," Alex replies easily.

Bash purses his lips. "No, that's too low. As you said, we're mostly billionaires or heirs, why don't we up the value?"

"You put too much trust into your son's little horse," Stephane tells him. "You think that Belgian will beat a true French?"

Bash smirks. "We'll see about that. Fifty-seven thousand each."

"Fifty-what?" Douglas cries out. "I'm out-"

"I'll lend ya," Alex repeats, getting off his phone. "I've texted Dad, he's betting on us."

"For the love of... I am a soldier, not a horserider! I deal with motorbikes, not horses!" Douglas replies. "I'm out-"

"Stay in. The pool is nearly half a million," Aloysius says. "Fifty short of five hundred thousand... This is the most exciting bet I've ever made! Way more fun than watching it."

Douglas laughs in shock. "You are all crazy."

Stephane smiles coyly. "Are we in agreement? Seventy-five thousand each - nearly half a million pounds is on the line here."

"Jesus..." Douglas mutters, getting onto his horse.

The other men follow and ride towards the starting line where Lachlan is ready to set the pistol off. The instructor, now intrigued about what is happening, double checks everything.

"Right," Lachlan starts, starting to film. "I want a clean, nice race. We will have an invigilator watching from the stands over there. I've requested for him to film, evidential reasons, of course, to cancel out any cheating."

"Lockie?" Douglas calls him.

"Yes?"

"Shut-"

"Up, I get it. Clean race, lads!" Lachlan finishes, heading to the car where the instructor waits inside. He leans out the window and starts counting down from ten.

After one, he shoots the pistol.

...

Kenna yawns as soon as she steps through her front door, bending down to hug Adrien one-handedly. Her sister comes in with their bags behind her.

"Hey, baby. Did you have fun with Nana and Pepe?" She asks, kissing his head. "It's late. Past your bedtime."

"Yeah, I did, Mama. I wanted to see you and Papa before I slept," Adrien replies sweetly. "Where's Papa?"

Kenna shrugs. "He was meant to come home before me," she tells her son. "Go on, go to bed - you'll see him before school tomorrow morning."

Adrien leads her to the kitchen, kissing her parents, his aunt and sister 'goodnight' before rushing upstairs to sleep. His door is later heard being shut closed.

"Hi, Mum and Dad," Kenna says, bringing Perrine to her chest. "Thank you so much for coming down. Diane would have, but I thought you guys would like to spend time with them."

"Thanks for the offer," her father says, smiling. "They're great. Our only grandchildren, we should spoil them before we have more."

Her mother frowns. "I'm starting to think that they might be our only grandchildren."

"Mum, I'm barely just turned twenty-three, give me time. My boyfriend and I are talking about starting a family... Even Dougie is considering his options," Paisley says.

"And Alex is working on that," Kenna assures them. "Give them time. Right, are you sure you don't want to stay for the night and go tomorrow morning?"

"We already have the flight tickets," Robert informs her. "And I've got work tomorrow morning. There's a small crisis. Nothing Paisley can't fix. Douglas will join us tomorrow afternoon for that meeting, by the way."

"Uh-uh," Paisley replies, smiling at a text message on her phone. "Excuse me, I need to call someone."

As she leaves, Kenna's own phone starts flashing on the table. She curses, remembering that she forgot to put it back on loud.

"Can you...?" She gestures to Perrine and her father.

As Robert takes Perrine from her arms, Kenna takes the call outside in the garden.

"Alex, you've called thirteen times. Don't tell me Lockie broke his ankle and is scared to go home," she says lightly.

_"Kenna... It's not Lachlan,"_ Alex says nervously. _"It's... It's Bash."_

Kenna's smile grows. "He's broken his ankle and he's scared to come home?"

_"More than that,"_ Alex admits. _"He-Well-What happened is... Uh..."_

Her heart drops. "Okay, you're scaring me," she says, entering the house and eyeing her confused parents. "What happened? Give him the phone."

_"I can't."_

"Why not?"

_"He's hospitalised..."_ Alex mumbles.

"He's what?!" Kenna cries out. "What happened?! W-Where are you?"

Alex sighs on the other line._ "We were having a little race and Hunter was startled, Bash lost grip and ended up being dragged a few good yards. He was unconscious by the time we calmed Hunter down. God, there was blood everywhere and-"_

"What the fuck, Alex?!" Kenna shouts. "Tell me which hospital you're at, now. Oh so help me, God - if the horse didn't finish him, I will myself."

_"O-Oh-kay,"_ Alex replies. _"It's, uh, nearby-"_

"Name?"

_"Don't hurt me,"_ Alex quickly tells her.

"Name?" She repeats.

He gives her the name of their local hospital, making her roll her eyes and grab her car keys, her mother following. They get in the car and soon, she speeds down their road.

When they arrive, they see Alex, Douglas, Lachlan, Stephane and Aloysius there. All men are very shaken up by what happened, but it didn't seem to be so serious an injury. They all eye her and she glares at them, silently requesting for her husband's whereabouts.

"In there," Alex tells her, raising his hands up in defence.

She walks down the hall, hearing her mother hit her brothers for their stupidity. It brings a small smile to her worried stature and when she finally opens the door, tears spring to her eyes.

"Francis," she breathes out, seeing him sat by Bash's side.

"The doctors gave him something to sleep. He was in a bit of pain," Francis informs her. "There's a little bit of swelling to his head, he was wearing a helmet but he's alright. He has a broken arm from when he fell off and his ankle is sprained."

"Jesus," Kenna says, sitting on the other side. She runs her fingers through Bash's hair and places a kiss on his good hand. "Alex told me what happened, but he may have exaggerated a little. He said there was blood everywhere."

Francis chuckles. "Well, there was. Not that much, though. It was a nosebleed, I think."

"And _he's_ the doctor," Kenna mutters.

Francis rubs his face tiredly. "It was a stupid bet. Half a million or near that," he starts. "Bash was determined he could do well with Hunter. Hunter who is barely trained and easily spooked. Bash was neck and neck with Stephane until the horse was scared of something and went on its hind legs. It was unexpected, Bash let go, got tangled up and was dragged. He's lucky his injuries weren't severe. Hunter could have trampled on him and-"

"You're making me angrier," she teases him. "Thinking about the 'what-ifs'." She gives him a small smile. "Go on, get home to Mary and the kids. And tell those other idiots the same."

"Yes, ma'am," Francis replies, smiling. "Go easy on him."

"He wants to compete. How can he if he's making reckless decisions and could get seriously hurt like this time?" She asks quietly. "Go on, head home. Is it okay if you and Mary take the kids because-"

"We've got it. We'll even drop Adrien off at school. I'm sorry this happened."

She waves it off. "It's who he is. A risktaker, a fighter... He can't just sit down and do nothing and I need to understand that."

She gives Francis a hug and watches as he leaves before returning her attention to Bash. She gives him a smile when he wakes up a short while later, squeezing her hand.

"How are you feeling?" She asks.

"Shit," he mumbles.

"Good," she replies, her smile disappearing.

He grins wryly, kissing her hand. "What a way to end our weekend."

"We need to talk, Bash," she says softly. "I can't be living in uncertainty."

"You know what I want."

She sighs. "I do, but that won't work."

"Why not?"

"Because that's you. You never take a bloody break."

He frowns deeply, studying her. "No... You don't trust me, do you?"

"What do you mean?" She asks, rubbing her face in slight annoyance.

"'Uncertainty', that's what you said. Maybe you're referring to me ending up in someone else's bed. If I get a job, I'll cheat - that's your thought process," he tells her, sitting up with a wince. "I can read you."

She scoffs. "Your words not mine."

"Kenna, why do you think I don't want to be a part of my family's company?" He asks her. "It brings back bad memories, there are still opened wounds."

"What opened wounds?" She retorts. "Sure, your dad. But it was _you_ who slept around, leaving me at home or at work thinking about you all day." She rolls her eyes. "Claudia. That German woman who looked a little bit like Mary. It was women like her which made you accept every single plane ticket away from home and you're talking about wounds? What about the ones when you manipulated me into thinking you weren't cheating, saying that I was? Or when you still booked hotel rooms down the street and bought lingerie for other women?"

"I get it," he whispers sadly. "So, I can't ever work because you don't trust me?"

She gives him a small bitter smile. "Am I really that controlling? No, I don't trust you fully. Although I trust you enough to marry you. Don't forget, you tried forcing me to stay home and be your perfect little wife-"

He laughs. "This is payback? God, you're so petty."

"Didn't you know by now?" She replies, almost snarkily. "Get better, I'm going-"

"Have you ever tried hospital sex?" He cuts her off.

"W-What?" She breathes out, turning to him in surprise. "I'm not having sex with you until-"

"I know. You can trust me," he replies. "But have you ever considered it?"

She gives him an annoyed look, getting up. "All you think about is sex."

"Kenna, no..." He says, grabbing her hand. "I just wanted to stop whatever argument we were just having. It was a joke, a tasteless one and-"

Her lips crash onto his and he moans. Either from pain or relief that they weren't fighting anymore, he didn't know. Her hands pulled the thin sheet covering him away and he brought her closer, helping her up onto the bed.

"Are we doing this?" He asks when they part.

"I'm still mad at you," she mumbles, searching his eyes. "We really need to talk, but... you're like a dog on heat and... I need this just as much as you," she says, trying to reattach her lips to his, but he backs away.

"Kenna, we shouldn't. Not when we're arguing or not just in the heat of the moment," he says to her. "I am sorry and we need to talk."

She gets off of him and fixes her clothes. "I will pick you up tomorrow," she says quietly.

As she heads to the door, she hears him say, "I love you."

"Okay," she mumbles. "I love you, too."


	28. Chapter 28

_Last Year - February_

Kenna called Bash, hoping he would pick up and answer her call. It had been just over a month since she and Adrien left France and she hoped that he'd like to speak with their son. He hadn't even bothered to call, at least to her knowledge because their son had his own phone and tablet that he kept for emergencies.

She decided to leave a voicemail and said softly, "Hi, Bash. Happy Valentine's... I just wanted to let you know that Adrien's okay and we're moving into a house soon. I miss you and I'm so, so so-"

She was cut off by the automated voice telling her that his voicemail was full. Sighing heavily, she placed her phone down and inspected her wrist. The cut was barely visible and she didn't feel the pain as much now.

"Just a few more days, eh?" She heard Francis say from behind her.

Kenna turned, giving him a small smile. "Yeah. Adrien's excited, he's picked out his room and everything. It's a huge adjustment, going from a bedroom as big as the whole upstairs to one not even as big as his en-suite in France."

"Life of luxury and being the only child, right?" Francis teased, gesturing for her to come to the kitchen.

She followed and sat at the counter island as he retrieved a cooled bottle of wine and three glasses.

"Francis!" She cried out. "It's ten in the morning." Not that she cared. Tea and alcohol were her solaces. She even had some vodka at three in the morning after a sobbing session.

"And so?" He retorted, grinning. "It's Valentine's, we need it."

She accepted the glass of wine and nearly downed the whole thing. If not for Francis telling her to slow down, she would have almost thrown up. She almost slammed the glass back onto the counter and gestured for more.

"Shit, Kenna," he mumbled, filling it up.

"My husband kicked me out and practically forced me to locate to another country with our four-year-old son on my birthday. I think I can deserve to drink heavily on this bullshit of a holiday," she said, tears springing to her eyes. "I just feel so much pain. What did I do wrong? D-Did I not love him as much as he needed me to? Did I hurt him? I just... I just wanted to know why he..." _He paid for hotel rooms and lingerie_.

She burst into tears, covering her face. Her body racked with tears and all she wanted to do was sit down and do nothing but cry. She longed to be in his arms, kiss him, take him to bed, _love him_.

"Kenna, I am so sorry. I-I don't know what to say..." Francis replied sadly. "I wish I could _help_."

He moved towards her, about to bring her into his arms but she raised a hand to stop him and he backed away.

"D-Don't touch me, please," she whispered shakily.

Francis frowned. From what he knew of Kenna, she was a very accommodating person. She loved hugs and the like. Sure, they rarely hugged because they were respectful of the other person's space, but she really needed comfort and he didn't know how else to provide it.

"Did something happen?" He asked, unsurely. "Are you over the Renaude-"

"Don't say that man's name," she snapped, wiping her tears. "Don't even say your brother's name. You know what?" She got up and faced him. "All men hurt women. They think they can get away from it! Well, they can't and your brother will understand that when I show him... When I show him that I can be someone without him! You will never understand, Francis!" She grabbed her glass and downed her wine. "You will never understand what men like your brother really do to hurt someone. T-The pain they cause. The wounds they cut..."

"Kenna-"

"I feel so... so alone and hurt and-"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Francis said softly, placing his hand over hers. "Please, calm down."

She hiccuped and sniffled, wiping her tears. She didn't care much for how other people saw her. Her bloody staff-well Bash's house help had spoken about her behind her back. They saw her as weak, stupid and-

"Kenna, you will find a way to get over this," Francis said, sitting beside her.

She looked at him and he could see the pain and hurt in her eyes. He wore that same pain so long ago and now, he felt guilty that he and Mary were happy and Kenna was so sad because of _his_ brother.

"You can stay for as long as you like. We can look after Adrien-"

He was cut off by Kenna leaning forward to kiss him. He quickly leant back, shaking his head as he placed a hand on her shoulder and gently moved her back.

"Kenna, that isn't the answer," he said to her.

"Why?" She asked him. "Mary was with you and Bash at the same time. She was the one for Bash."

Francis looked down. "That was a long time ago. We're married now and we're really happy. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you and Bash, but using other people is not the answer. _Kissing me_ isn't the answer, either."

"I just want to be loved," she whispered sadly.

"I know," he replied. "And you are. Adrien loves you so much and so does Mary. You are loved-"

"I'm not. Everything is pointless," she told him, furrowing her brows. "I don't even know who I am, what I've become. I look in the mirror and I see _nothing_. There's nothing special about me, nothing to love about me-"

"Kenna, my brother is an idiot for even giving up someone like you. You were patient, kind, amazing for him and he didn't see that. One day, you will be with someone who knows your worth," Francis said firmly. "Just get through this and be the mother your son needs. He's all that counts now."

He stood up and left her alone with the almost halved bottle of wine. He wanted to cry at how broken she looked, but she didn't need people feeling pity for her. She didn't need someone who felt sorry that she was in this position under no control of hers.

He headed upstairs and saw that the room she and Adrien were staying in was wide open. He found two used and bloody plasters on the nightstand as well as a small bottle of vodka beside some sleeping pills.

His heart skipped a beat and he picked up the bottle and the pills.

"F-Francis?"

"Kenna, what are these?" He asked her, eyes wide as he turned to face her.

She shrugged. "Not the answer," she mumbled.

"Exactly," he said, swallowing deeply. "Forget him. H-He shouldn't drive you to do this-"

"I just needed some help sleeping. I've not slept in _weeks_, Francis!" She cried out in frustration.

He scoffed. "I know what the effects of taking sleeping pills with alcohol do. Death is the final destination and that's it, Adrien is without a mother."

He began leaving with the items in his hands and she tried to stop him. He turned to her in shock and she froze, backing away. He frowned and handed her the pills.

"Promise me you'll only use the recommended dose?" He asked softly.

"I will. I-I just need my head to be quiet for a few hours. I need the sleep," she replied sadly. "I-I won't..."

"I care about you. You're my wife's best friend, my nephew's mother... I respect you and you're family," he started. "Talk to me, talk to Mary even if you ever need to vent like a few minutes ago. Don't be quick to overdose or-"

"I don't want to leave my son," she told him, stepping towards him. "I'm okay."

He searched her eyes. She was lying and he was going to warn Mary about that, that his wife should check on her best friend frequently. He squeezed Kenna's hand and left, pouring the vodka down the bathroom sink and disposing of the bottle in the recycling bin outside the house by the road.

His phone rang and he answered it.

"Bash."

_"How is she?"_

"Why do you care?" Francis snapped. "You don't know how she is right now. You destroyed her and you're asking how she is? Well, she's a fucking mess, that's what she is."

He heard his brother sigh. _"Tell her... God, I've fucked up. I should never have-"_

"Never have what? What happened between you, that warrant you ending things because she looked through your bank accounts? So what, Mary looks through mine all the time! You lost the right to have full privacy when you got married," Francis replied. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

_"Everything..."_ Bash replied, choked up. _"I miss her."_

"You miss who now?" Francis asked in disbelief. "Screw you, Bash. Couldn't you have _not_ kicked your wife and kid out in a country she barely knows? She has no one, Bash! Or so she believed because Mary and I will help her and Adrien. They're moving out soon and they're going to be happy. Just move on, Bash. You've burnt the bridges, just... stop."

_"Just tell her to forget about me. I want her to be happy, it's better this way," _Bash told him. _"I love her, I realise that now. I have to accept that it's too late and... she didn't deserve the shit I put her through. I have to go."_

Francis hung up, turning to look up the stairs. He felt terrible, being able to speak to Bash whenever and he wouldn't even give Kenna the time of day. She had to move on.

It was better this way.

...

_Present Day_

"Papa!"

Bash groans when Adrien jumps into his arms. "Hey, Little Man. I kind of broke my arm so..."

Adrien jumps down from his arms and grins. He pulls his father's good hand and leads him into the living room. He soon gestures to the coffee table and looks up at his father.

"We made you a cake! It has no eggs, no milk, no-"

"It's a vegan cake," Kenna says, chuckling. "He insisted that we make it."

Adrien nods. "It was bad the first seven times we tried to make it, but hopefully, it should taste as expected!"

"Okay, can I have a little rest before we eat it?" Bash asks, ruffling Adrien's hair.

"Okay..." Adrien drawls, grabbing his tablet. "I'll be in my room."

"You're only allowed an hour on that," Bash tells him. "Can you time yourself for me?"

Adrien nods sadly. "Fine..."

As they watch him leave, Kenna steps towards her husband. She fixes his hair a little which makes him turn to face her.

"Where's Perrine?"

"With Lola. She couldn't go to work today because her morning sickness was just the worst," Kenna replies. "Sit down, let's talk."

He sits down and she copies him, sitting beside him. Their legs touch and she places a gentle hand on his knee, rubbing it in soothing circles. He puts his hands over hers and she turns to him.

"What do you want to do?" She asks softly.

"I want to do something that makes me happy. That also gives me time to see our kids grow and allows us to be with each other more," he replies easily.

"Why don't you join my business?" She asks him.

He raises his eyebrows. "Y-Your business? Event planning?"

"Yeah. You managed to plan two of our weddings moderately tastefully, why not?" She replies. "I've seen the way your eyes light up when we're organising Perrine's christening. You can also see the kids because we will work from home and we'll be together."

"Should we do a trial then? Because there's a reason couples don't really work together," he says, unsurely. "It will be like work experience."

"Yeah, totally," she replies happily. "You can be like my personal assistant or something. I will visit prospective venues and I will go shopping with the customer's budget... There are a lot of things I do that I can easily delegate responsibilities and jobs to you."

"And when do we start exactly because I've got a broken arm-"

"I've already started obviously," she replies. "I just need to hire a photographer for the wedding and the wedding favours. I'll do those, but you can continue to plan my next job. It's a sixteenth birthday party to some millionaire's daughter from Japan. Just find a venue and catering company. Most grateful if it's a hotel the guests can book a room in - perhaps, about forty-seven rooms."

Bash frowns. "I-I didn't know how complicated planning an event was. Oh, I'll start looking then-"

She starts laughing. "Don't worry, this event isn't until Easter. We have time. For now, we can relax and see about getting you, training award-winning horses again."

"Why do I feel nervous about this?" He asks, playing with her hair. "Going into business with you?"

"Who says you're going into business with me?" She retorts lightly. "You're my assistant. Someone to collect my coffee order."

"And be your on-call hookup?" He teases, kissing her neck.

She giggles. "W-What?"

"It's a thing. Hooking up with your sexy PA," he tells her, leaving a red mark on her neck.

She raises an eyebrow. "Was yours on your list of the women you slept with behind my back?"

He stills and sighs. "We didn't have sex..."

"Ahem?"

"Okay, after the fourth one, I didn't sleep with them," he admits, his cheeks reddening. "That's in the past, babe."

She nods stiffly. "Mhm," she hums. "Four, though?"

"I'm sorry," he says, wrapping his arm around her hip to pull her closer. "I guess I treated them like you treated Adrien's nannies."

She smiles a little at his small joke, but she can't help feeling hurt. She thought she knew everything, but there are still some things he is not telling her or is keeping from her, willingly or not.

"Perrine's christening is this Saturday," she changes the subject. "I'm really excited because this is kind of a new start..."

"It is, isn't it?" He replies, getting up. "Do you want to go on a date?"

Kenna looks up at him in surprise. A giggle escapes her lips and she bites them after, shrugging.

"Bash, it's too late for a date," she tells him. "We've been married _twice_, we have two kids..."

"Okay, dinner then?" He reiterates. "I want to show you how much I appreciate you, how much I'm sorry for everything... Rowan, my little horse mishap, _everything_. Can I take you out for dinner?"

"No," she replies.

"Oh, okay," he says, disheartened. "Let's cut that cake shall we?"

She gets up and heads to the kitchen to grab three plates, a knife and three forks. She also fills up the kettle and turns it on. She waits, looking through the window.

Birds fly into the bird feeder she put up a long time ago, coming and going. She studies them, even when Adrien comes in and takes the plates and forks. Even when Bash comes to collect the knife and kisses her cheek to let her know that he was fine with her rejection earlier.

She doesn't know why she's stopped. Something about Autumn calms her and she thinks about how everything has changed. The Autumn before last was horrible. So horrible, she didn't think she smiled during that time period in her life.

"Kenna? Are you okay?"

She nods, turning to face Bash. "Life is strange."

"I guess," Bash says, confused.

"I mean, our lives are strange. Nine months, five years, not even a year, and now," she says quietly, more or less to herself. She frowns deeply, trying to connect the dots.

"Nine months," Bash repeats. "The time we took to date, get engaged and be married. Five years, how long we were married for. Not even a year we were divorced and got back together to engaged... And now. We're married now."

She takes a shaky breath. "What's wrong with us?"

"Nothing," he replies. "Why do you think there's something wrong with us?"

She shrugs. "I don't know," she mumbles. "I'm sorry for rejecting the offer to dinner. That was really nice and we haven't had a proper date since we had Adrien... Yes, I'd like that dinner, if you're still offering?"

"Should we go after the christening? So, it's less stress and I hopefully won't be in as much pain as I am now."

"Yes," she replies, nodding. "That will be lovely."

"It's a date," he says happily.

She nods. "It is indeed."

...

Kenna blushes as the Vicar compliments her daughter. Her daughter who is dressed in her christening gown. Her daughter who has so many people here today that will be in her life forever to see her grow and be a wonderful person. Better than her mother and father will ever be.

Perrine is Kenna's special baby, her little miracle. At first, she wasn't and there were days when Kenna couldn't even bear looking at her baby. Now, Perrine was the light in her life and a chance to get things right.

"She's such a well-behaved baby, isn't she?" The Vicar asks her.

Kenna nods. "She rarely cries. She's our good girl, aren't you?" Kenna babbles, kissing Perrine's head. "W-We have _six_ godparents, is that okay?"

The Vicar nods in surprise. "Not usually done, but of course. She is a lucky girl, shall we say?"

Kenna beams and walks over to Bash and Francis, turning to the blonde. "Thank you so much. I-I don't think I've even thanked you for accepting to be a godfather."

"It's okay," Francis tells her. "I'm honoured. First Adrien, now Perrine... I'm a popular choice."

"You are," Bash says. "Kenna, I gave him the present you wanted me to give him."

"Oh! Did you like it?" Kenna asks Francis. "I hope you did."

Francis chuckles, hugging her with one arm. "I did, thank you. You're very kind for giving me a present. I didn't need anything."

"You're wearing them," she notes, eyeing his new cufflinks.

"I am," Francis replies. "On the top ten list of the best gifts I've ever received, they're on it."

Kenna smiles brightly at him and through that smile, she thanks him for all he's done. Last year, she was about to do something stupid, but he had stopped and helped her. He had always been there for her, even not directly.

"Right, the ceremony is about to start soon," Mary informs them, heading over and eyeing Perrine. "Hi, baby girl!"

She strokes Perrine's cheek and turns back to the adults, giving them a 'hurry up' look.

Just as Kenna is about to move, Greer comes over with David in her arms, beaming brightly at the mother and daughter.

"Look at her! Just as beautiful as her mummy," Greer says, pinching Perrine's cheek softly. "Kenna, I just wanted to thank you for choosing me to be one of her godmothers. You know I'll be there for all of you, whenever right?"

"Right," Kenna replies, squeezing the hand that doesn't hold David. "We should hang out more. Go shopping or something, just have a girls' day out."

"Definitely. Now, we better go before Fairy Godmother Number One loses it," Greer says teasingly as they turn to see Mary tapping at her watch as the Vicar chuckles.

Kenna heads towards the Vicar, Bash joining behind her. She shushes Perrine when the baby starts to cry in slight distress. Kenna knows it's because of the christening gown, she doesn't blame the baby. She couldn't stand it when she wore it at her own christening according to her parents.

"It's an old relic," Kenna mumbles to her baby. "Just twenty minutes, my lovely."

"Do you want me to hold her?" Bash asks. "I didn't wear my arm support for a reason."

She turns, giving him a shake of her head. "I have her. Just rest your arm, yeah?" _You clumsy dumbarse_, she thinks lightly.

"Welcome everyone, especially Perrine Aveline and her family, to this special day in this little girl's life..." The Vicar says, his words continuing on as Kenna stares into Perrine's eyes.

They're getting darker, browner like hers. They were hazel like her father's. Now, they're brown like her mother's and hers. Her baby looks so much like Bash, but with her eyes and long eyelashes.

Her daughter coos, emitting a bright smile onto Kenna's face as she presses a kiss onto the baby's head. Kenna looks up when the Vicar starts the Bible reading.

The rest of the service flies by and soon, Kenna hears, "…Shine as a light in the world to the glory of God," from the Vicar's lips.

And it's done.

All Kenna thinks about is her daughter as everyone celebrates her daughter's rite of passage. She feels Bash's kiss on her cheek and sees Adrien trying to look at his sister from the corner of her eye. But it's Perrine she thinks about, looks at and adores.

No one can take this moment from them, her darling daughter. The last child to ever be in her, but the only child to be her saviour.

"You are a very special baby," she says into Perrine's ear softly. "Mama's little wonder."

She almost sobs when Perrine smiles.

...

Kenna taps her fingers on the table, her chin resting on her fist. She waits and waits and waits.

Francis had asked for Bash's help that morning and he told her to wait for him at the restaurant since he wasn't sure when they would be finished. Thinking nothing of it, she finished her work and got dressed into a tight-fitting little black dress and strappy heels despite the weather.

She is making an effort and she sees herself in a better light than before. Now, instead of dark thoughts surrounding her looks and body, she feels lighter and more accepting. Especially as she has shed the final baby weight from her pregnancy with Perrine.

"Would you like to order a drink while you wait?" The waiter asks, holding up his electronic notepad expectantly.

Kenna sighs before she nods. "A bottle of red wine, top-shelf - you choose. Make it expensive," she replies, forgoing the drinks menu. It's on her husband's card anyway.

"As you wish," the waiter says, leaving.

Another hour passes by and she checks her watch. It is past eleven and the kids were probably asleep. She even notices that she's the last one there.

She's even finished the bottle of wine.

She spots the waiter coming to her and she speaks first. "Uh, this is embarrassing - just take my card," she tells him, digging into her purse and shoving her card into his hand.

"I've been asked to keep you seated," he says, handing her card back.

"W-Why?" She asks suspiciously. "Aren't you closing?"

"We are," the manager says out of nowhere. "But not for you and your husband."

Kenna frowns. "What is going on exact-"

A soft melody cuts her off and she holds a hand to her mouth. She turns and sees Bash on the stage, her favourite band singing her favourite song behind him.

"What the fuck...?" She breathes out. "H-How...?"

"Uh, sorry I'm late," Bash says bashfully - ironic. "I got caught up trying to find these lot."

"Bash-"

"And then, I had to make a deal with the owner of this place to shut it down for the evening or night... May have miscalculated a little bit..." He trails off, nervously.

Kenna is stunned. When he had asked her out for dinner, she didn't expect a restaurant closing for her nor her favourite band to show up from nowhere.

"Kenna, you have made me the happiest man in the world. You married me _twice_, despite everything and you have given me two wonderful children. I honestly... I honestly do not give you enough credit for how much you've gone through and have done for me," Bash tells her, getting down from the stage to walk to her. "You are amazing, wonderful, beautiful... God, I could be here for _years_ telling all of these people how great you are and every adjective to describe you."

"Continue, then," she teases lightly, a light blush on her cheeks as a smile grows on her face. "Considering I believed you stood me up."

"Never," he replies. "I would be insane to stand someone like you up. You deserve the world and I want to give you that. But will you join me for a dance, first?"

Kenna smiles and gets up, taking his outstretched hand. She hears her favourite song start to play and she kisses Bash before resting her head against his chest as they slow dance.

"God, you're so cheesy," she mutters, laughing.

"You love it though," Bash replies.

"Hmm," Kenna hums. "Maybe I do."

...

Shoes off. Suit jacket off. Dress off...

"A-Are you sure?" Bash breathes out as he undoes his buttons.

Kenna nods firmly. "I am."

"We don't have to-"

"Are you seriously contemplating rejecting me _again_?" She warns lightly.

Bash chuckles. "God, no."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and paces the room. He doesn't know what to do. He really wants her, but at the same time, he doesn't live with her and they are taking things painstakingly slow.

"We're in a hotel room," he states.

"Yes, we are. I've noticed," she replies, covering herself with a robe. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head. "I mean, we're in a hotel room like secret lovers-"

"Because the kids are at home," she interrupts him.

He nods. "Yeah. I just thought our first time since everything would be more..."

"'More', what?" Kenna urges him.

"Special?" He mumbles. "I don't know. There's something missing here."

Her face falls and she stands in front of him, cupping his cheek. "What's missing?"

"I love you, Kenna. So much, but..."

"'But', what?" She asks, frightened of his next words. "But I am not doing it for you anymore or-"

"Kenna-"

"Bash, you're not making any sense! One minute, you can't wait to love me like that again and the next, you're second-guessing everything and backing away!" She cries out. "What is it?"

He winces. "We've been distant. I thought I could make it all better with dinner, but we can't go one conversation without arguing or bringing up bad shit. I thought we could restart and forget about the past, but no matter how much we push it down, it always comes up."

"Okay," she whispers, hurt. "And what does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"And aren't we working on this, our marriage, ourselves, the children?" She asks desperately. "Why are we going to therapy if it's going to waste?"

"I don't-"

"Don't tell me that!" She snaps, rubbing her face. "Y-You wanted to give me the world, but now it seems like you're breaking up with me."

He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around her waist. "No, I don't. Babe, I want you. I just want us to be stable and aren't we working towards that? Until we are absolutely sure-"

"It's just sex, Bash!"

"I thought that meant something more to you. We're Catholic, Kenna!" He replies. "It should be special-"

"It will," she whispers, cupping his cheeks. "Because we have each other and we love each other so much. It's you and me together for life and things are always better when we're together. You said being with me was like the first time, each time. I want that, I miss that."

He presses his lips against hers and their lips move slowly against each other. It's slow, electrifying and Kenna sighs in relief.

"I love you," she tells him when they pull apart.

"I love you, more," he replies, kissing her again.

More clothes come off and Kenna feels the sparks and the fireworks. The same sparks and fireworks she felt all those years ago after their first date.

Those sparks and fireworks are here to stay.


	29. Chapter 29

_Bash - Aged 19_

Bash continued to stare at the women who celebrated their birthday. A smile grew when he saw one was feeling better in particular. How she changed from that depressed woman to party animal surprised him.

_God, she's beautiful_, he thought, eyeing Mary briefly. Not that she wasn't either, but although not the prettiest, Mary still had strong characteristics about her.

Kenna, on the other hand, was clear perfection. Bash had never seen anyone like her, he half-expected her to be a vain bit of a person, but she wasn't. Probably because she was too busy drowning her sorrows and sobbing to be her usual self.

"Who are you staring at?" Francis asked him suspiciously, handing him a beer as he sipped his apple juice.

Bash shrugged. "Kenna. She's a strange one."

Francis smirked to himself. "How so?"

Bash paused, taking a sip from his beer before shrugging. He wouldn't tell Francis that he found the girl crying her eyes out moments earlier.

"Is that... Is that your jacket?" Francis asked him, surprised.

Bash cleared his throat. "She was cold."

"Yeah, right," Francis drawled, turning to him. "Did you guys-"

"No! God, Francis, I've just met the girl..."

"Hasn't stopped you before," Francis replied lightly. "She's pretty, in the same social circle as us... You should get her number."

Bash shook his head. "Not my type." _She wouldn't want to deal with the emotional baggage that is my life_, he thought darkly. _She would be too much anyway_.

"You wouldn't have given her your expensive suit jacket just like that," Francis stated. "Dad's going to be mad if you don't get that back by the end of the night."

"It's _my_ gift, I don't care what he says," Bash said, rolling his eyes. "She was cold and she is one of the birthday girls. I am not going to let someone be cold on their special day, am I? I'm not heartless."

Francis smiled. "Oh, alright. You better get going soon. You have an early flight."

"Yeah," Bash replied. "Uh, I might go now actually. Not feeling in the mood to socialise anymore."

"Broody much?"

"Happy to be," came Bash's reply as he placed the beer down and walked out, hands stuffed into his pockets.

He didn't even care to ask for his jacket back. He had longed stopped feeling the cold anyway.

_A Few Months Later_

Bash stared at his results. He had failed one module, but he knew his father would be angry either way. His grades weren't the best, but it was his first year and first semester. Surely, the first year was meant for slacking and the rest, you needed to get your shit together anyway?

As if he was psychic, Henry started calling his phone, his name written in great white letters in front of a photo of him and Bash when he was little. He hadn't had the heart to change the photo or get rid of it, but he had the heart to simply refer to his father as 'Henry' and not 'Dad' or 'Pere' anymore on his phone.

"Dad," he greeted, finally gathering the strength to answer his call. "I-I got my results."

_"And?" _Henry's sharp, impatient reply came as well as a few types here and there. Of course, he'd be working.

Bash winced. He would have to do way better next semester. "Yep, I got everything over ninety per cent."

_"That's my favourite boy! Soon, you will take over the running of the French counterpart as Francis takes England on. We might even solidify deals in Scotland, I haven't decided. Take a holiday on me when your next break comes. Expect my call on Sunday as usual."_

Then the call was over and Bash allowed himself to breathe.

He was a goddamn man, why the fuck was he afraid of what his abusive, never present father said to him? Or _did_, should he remind himself.

Bash sighed, clicking on a new tab and going onto Instagram. He used to it check out girls he'd been with or was pursuing, but today, he decided to check out Kenna's page.

She was very active on the social media front, posting sultry or attractive photos of herself alone or with family members and friends online. Mary was in quite a lot along with the other girls.

He saw a family photo which seemed to be taken a few years back. A post beside it said, 'Family is Everything'. He smiled to himself, if only it could be applied to his family.

Kenna seemed relatable from what he had heard. Mary spoke about her a lot, saying how Kenna could solve a problem in seconds and how she helped everyone despite people thinking she was a heartless bitch. She was, Mary had admitted coyly, only to the people she did not like nor know well though.

Bash found her attractive, but he wasn't attracted to her. She seemed friendly, like someone you could talk to about anything and everything. She also seemed like the type who would sit down with you and make you all better with one smile and chat. And also the type to be sardonic and sarcastic, belittling you with one word.

"She's beautiful," he heard his mother's voice say from behind him.

He quickly closed the tab and she gasped at his results. "Oh, Ma-"

"Have you told Henry?" She asked, strained.

He gave her a look. "What do you think? I will just have to work harder for this semester. It will be fine, I won't do any resits."

"If you're sure. The only reason he's agreed to pay for your tuition is that he wants to use you," Diane said, rolling her eyes. "You know that, don't you?"

"Of course, I do," Bash told her. "Look, I've already got good coursework marks for this semester, everything will work out."

"Be careful, Bash... You're my only son and if you take one step out of line..." Diane trailed off and Bash frowned, studying her eyes. "I want you to be happy. There is still that other option."

Bash shook his head. "France is my home. I'm not leaving you."

"Don't be ridiculous, you don't need me. I don't need you either," Diane replied, caressing his cheek. "Broaden your sights."

She left him with that and Bash returned to his computer, reopening the Instagram page.

He stared at the photo taken at the party. He knew when this was taken, a few minutes after she returned from retouching her makeup. It still surprised him at how quickly she switched from brokenhearted to happy quickly.

Biting his lip and eyeing his fake handle that only his brother and Mary knew about, he sent her a direct message.

[Stan P: Hi, you're pretty great, I can see you're good at a lot of things. Do you really play football?]

He was surprised to receive a quick reply.

[Kenna Beaton: Yeah, I do. Thanks.]

[Stan P: No worries.]

Bash became stuck for words. It was a pretty lame start to begin a conversation. He wasn't one to initiate things, he let others take the lead most times. Mary had told him Kenna would talk to everyone and anyone, she was sociable.

[Kenna Beaton: So, you're called 'Stan'? That's a strange name. Is it short for something?]

His eyes looked up at her reply and he quickly typed a reply but slowed down. He did not want to look too eager.

[Stan P: Yes. You?]

[Kenna Beaton: Yeah. I've just checked your page - it's pretty blank except for the pictures of horses and dogs.]

He smiled to himself. He was a keen horse rider, he owned a good few horses and dogs. The dogs weren't his, they were his uncle's. As the old man went on holiday, he would dogsit for some money.

[Kenna Beaton: Do you like horses and dogs?]

[Stan P: I do. They are all mine. Not the dogs, just looking after them for a relative. My grandparents built me a stable behind our house. I also compete in races. The latest picture, I won gold.]

[Kenna Beaton: Congratulations! I have a horse, Celeste. I don't compete, I ride for pleasure.]

Bash continued his conversation with Kenna and it lasted until midnight, his time. She had asked for a number or even a picture of him, but he politely declined. She hadn't pressed the matter and he was impressed with her even more.

The next morning, he used his real account to follow her. He never once contacted her with the real account, even when she followed back out of courtesy. For the months leading up to August, Kenna became the new penpal of the mysterious Frenchman, Stan P.

...

_Present Day_

"Do you know a Stan P?" Bash asks his wife as they lay on the bed. They aren't ready to go just yet and face reality.

They will need to get up and redress to deal with their kids, but a part of Bash wants to text Francis and ask if he and Mary won't mind taking Adrien to school and looking after Perrine for a few more hours.

Kenna frowns at her husband's question. "I-I do. He was a penpal of mine a good decade or so ago," she replies. "Really lovely guy. He competed in horseriding like you..." It dawns on her. "Are _you_ Stan P?"

"Guilty," Bash grins, kissing the side of her head. "I wanted to test the waters, I don't know. You were pretty cool and I guess I wanted to stop being a lone wolf. After your birthday, something changed in me. I stalked your social media _a lot_. I just wanted a friend, I was lonely."

"Awh," Kenna says softly, rolling so she lays on top of his body. "You should have contacted me as _yourself_. I don't mind a few more friends."

"Oh, so I will be satisfying Miss Popular's needs?" He teases her.

She giggles. "Maybe. But, if you really needed someone to talk to - like you did when you told me that you were having issues with your family life, I would have been there for _you_. Not some fake 'Stan P'. I'm sort of glad we never asked to meet each other, that would have been wrong on so many levels since I had no idea what you-_he_ looked like. I was happy for the online friend. But you as Bash, I wouldn't have minded meeting you and hanging out."

"So we could sneak off places and _get to know each other_?" He asks, chuckling. "Babe, your mind-"

"Your words and insinuation, not mine!" She quickly says, giggling.

"Do you know Francis thought we got _friendly_ at your party? He saw that you had my suit jacket and I remember feeling horrified. I would never have a one-night stand with a girl like you. Not after that nice moment that we had, me trying to cheer you up."

Kenna smiles softly. "You're so sweet."

"Sometimes," he replies modestly. "Hey, we haven't had a honeymoon."

She gasps softly. "No, we haven't... Should we not bother?"

"Kenna, we need to have one."

"No, we don't," she replies. "It won't mean _anything_. We have a lot to do and a honeymoon does not fit into those plans. I remember trying not to cry my eyes out during our first one..."

"You do know that things are different, right?" He asks, slipping her hair behind her ear.

She gives him a nod. "Yes, but that is why I don't feel like we need to have another honeymoon. You're already moving in, we're sharing a bed, we have two children... We don't need any of that to reaffirm our feelings."

"Alright."

"If anything, time alone with you will drive me mad," she says teasingly. "You'd probably just want to go out and hike or stay in bed all day. I won't have time for myself."

"Isn't that why couples go on honeymoons? To spend time with each _other_?" Bash asks her.

She narrows her eyes playfully. "Keep talking, I dare you. My mind is set, now get out of bed. We're going _home_."

...

A few weeks later, Bash is surprised by the arrival of his mother.

"Do you want anything?" He asks, leading her into the kitchen.

Diane nods, heading to the fridge herself to retrieve some apple juice as Bash gets her a glass cup. She places the carton on the counter and sits at the breakfast table.

"Where are Kenna and Perrine?" She asks her son, watching as he pours the apple juice into the cup and gives it to her.

"Kenna's with Lola and Mary talking about babies or whatever else and Perrine's asleep in the living room," he replies. "Do you want to see Perrine?"

Diane smiles and nods before grabbing her drink and following him into the living room. Her heart beats loudly in her ears and she studies Bash as he bends down to pick up Perrine from the baby rocker.

"She's grown so much since I last saw her," Diane says softly as she takes a seat on the sofa.

"Yeah," Bash replies, shushing his daughter when she starts to whimper. "Maman, there's something I need to tell you."

"Same here," Diane says nervously. "You first."

Bash sits beside her and starts rubbing Perrine's back in circles as he says, "Remember Rowan?"

"We _all_ remember Rowan," Diane says bitterly. "I'd rather have Kenna who has been with your father than some piece of trash you found in the dirt."

"Mum, there's no reason to be-"

"Bash you lied to me and to Kenna for all of those years," she tells him. "I could see Kenna trying _so hard_ to make your marriage work and you running into Rowan's arms every time. I know you weren't overly religious and didn't take your vows seriously, but still."

Bash looks down. "I... I'm sorry."

"It's not me you need to be sorry to," Diane replies. "You have a lifetime of apologies to make it up to Kenna. You will never truly understand the meaning of 'sorry' because it wouldn't mean anything."

"But I am-"

"Are you really?" Diane asks. "I asked you if you loved Kenna when she had Adrien and you gave me a bullshit answer. Anyway, what about Rowan?"

"She's pregnant."

"Okay."

"It might be mine," he confesses.

"And that is what I mean," Diane breathes out in disbelief. "Does Kenna know?"

Bash clears his throat. "That's the thing, she knows about it. She even discussed co-parenting and everything with me and I just sat there, thinking about _why_ she would accept it. I don't know what I'd do without her."

"She's accepted so much shit from you over the years, what's another one?" His mother sighs sadly. "The woman's a saint. I wish I was half the woman she was putting up with you," Diane says, taking a sip from her drink. Her hand is shaky when she places it back on the coaster.

"I'm going to see Rowan at the hospital and get a test done. If it's mine, I don't know what I would do..."

Diane shakes her head. "When I imagined having more grandchildren, I would have thought it would have been Kenna's or even your sisters'. You and Henry have so much in common."

"Don't say that," Bash whispers. "That's unfair."

"Is it, though? You let him control you and look where you are! Eventually, Kenna will get fed up of the constant reminder of _all_ your infidelities, physical or not, and she will leave you. That is something Catherine never did because despite you existing, she had Francis and the rest to keep going. As much as I admire Catherine, Kenna _will_ snap and leave because she's tried to do it before many, many times."

Bash turns to her. "What do you mean?"

"New Year's Day before you separated," Diane states. "She overheard the kitchen staff talking about you and your trysts behind her back. She was humiliated and she wanted a divorce right there and then. She despised you, she was willing to give up everything just so she could have Adrien and she would have won."

"How?" He croaks out.

"I would have helped her," she admits. "And I would have made sure that she didn't end up like _me_. Running back to her parents with nothing to show for it and an ex-husband who gets his reputation not tarnished and everything he wanted."

Bash nods. "Alright. Thanks for your honesty."

"Hmm," Diane hums. "I'd never lie to you, you're my son. You are still my son no matter what you do."

She retrieves her glass and swallows the rest of the secrets that she shares with Kenna. It is not her place to tell him.

...

_January 4th, Last Year_

"A lawyer?" Diane called out in shock. "Kenna, I said-"

"It was only a little talk, Diane," Kenna casually said, flicking through her magazine.

Diane sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I'm sure that little talk meant that you're considering a divorce. Something I specifically told you not to consider."

"I'm scared shitless, Diane," Kenna said firmly, meeting her eyes. "I'm scared that he will kick me out with no warning. I have to protect myself. I have to protect _Adrien_."

"He loves you, you do-"

"You and I both know that isn't true," Kenna snapped. "I heard both of you talking after I had Adrien. I prayed that it would get better and yes, at times it did, but now it's worse."

"I'm so sorry," Diane told her.

Kenna scoffed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pursuing a relationship with Henry. I'm sorry for marrying Bash even though I knew he was never in love with me. I'm sorry for being such an inconvenience to everyone-"

"Stop," Diane whispered. "Just call off the divorce. Or thought processes leading to it."

"Or else?"

Diane looked away. "There's nothing I have over you. Just think about it."

"Diane, I give him a month or I walk and I won't look back," Kenna replied numbly. "Bash is not the man I married and I don't want to be stuck being a trophy wife to someone who takes and takes and never gives back. I have ambitions for _myself_."

"I understand. Four weeks, I promise things will change."

"He has no more than that," Kenna affirmed, leaving the room.

...

_Present Day_

_Didn't even get to pass four weeks_, Diane thinks to herself, rubbing her hands on her trousers.

"Tell me what you wanted to say," he says, bringing her out of her thoughts.

She pauses, clicks her tongue and nods. "I'm ill, Bash."

Green eyes meet browns and Bash's heart stops.

"H-How ill?" He asks quietly.

"'Not that long to live' ill. But Bash, I'm good. I'm happy and-"

"No. Have you seen a doctor?"

She nods. "Yes. I've seen three because I was in denial and I can't afford to be in denial," she tells him.

"Then, we'll get a fourth opinion."

She shakes her head. "No, mon chéri," she says softly. "This is happening, Sebastian."

He takes a shaky breath, trying to not to let any tears spill. Perrine still lays asleep on his chest and he kisses the top of her head, holding her just a little bit tighter.

"I stopped by in France and told your sisters. I've put my affairs in order and by the end of the week, I'll be in Switzerland living the rest of my life to fullest," Diane says. "I thought I'd get a chance to see the children one last time."

"Yeah," Bash whispers. "That's fine. I know Adrien will not let you rest once he sees you."

She laughs and sniffles, giving him a comforting smile. "We're okay, aren't we?"

"Je t'aime maman."

"Seba-" She doesn't even finish as she brings him and Perrine into a hug, placing a hand on the back of his head. "I love you with all of my heart. It's always been you and me against the world and... I'm sorry that this is happening."

"Why are you sorry? _I'm_ sorry for giving you hell when I was growing up. You know what, let's go out and have some lunch. It's on me and-"

"Oh," Diane breathes out, laughing. "Despite everything, you always had redeeming features that Henry never did."

Bash laughs softly as they pull apart. "I guess... Hey, did you know about my birth certificate?"

Diane's eyes widen and she sips her drink once more. "How do you know about that?"

"So, it's true?" Bash asks.

He gets up and places Perrine gently back into the baby rocker before placing a blanket over her. He presses a kiss on her head and stops when she whimpers a little before finally settling. He then rejoins his mother on the sofa.

"Go ahead," he urges her.

Diane coughs a little. "I never wanted you to be a part of Henry's world," she admits. "I wanted to shelter you and look after you by myself. After Louis left me, I had to figure out a way to make sure that you were well cared for and... Henry wanted to get to know you. He manipulated me and well, I thought that having a father figure will help in the long run. It didn't and I quickly regretted that."

"But how was I able to use the one...?"

"Catherine helped me. I knew it was because she wanted to get rid of me and stop me from involving you and Henry, but I never wanted Henry to come into your life," Diane tells him. "Yes, you are a Valois and yes, you do legally have a right to _a lot_ of assets Henry had. Catherine and I had a deal though and you got the lower cut as per that deal."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bash asks her, hurt in his eyes.

Diane gives him a wry smile. "We didn't need him. And you can tell because my late first husband left you some assets as well. I am not an evil woman, going around and collecting bits from here and there to cater to my son. I am a mother who is willing to protect him within her means."

"I gave the money I got from Louis to Françoise and Louise," Bash tells her. "As for what I got from Henry, I've been blowing through that so I have _nothing_ that ties me to him - that allows him to still have that hold over me. You saved me a lot of work."

She chuckles. "I did, didn't I?" She asks coyly. "Hey, you remember your grandmother's favourite recipe?"

"Yes...?"

"I think it's time you learnt how to make it for Kenna."

...

_Mary & Francis's Wedding_

A hand reached out in front of Kenna and she looked up from her Scotch to see Bash waiting patiently. She gave him a small smile, placing her drink down and getting up to accept the hand.

"Thanks for accepting otherwise, I would have looked stupid," he said once they began dancing on the dance floor, other couples dancing around them.

Kenna grinned. "I'm not one to leave an invitation unanswered."

"I can see that. I also see that you're in higher spirits than when we last met," he replied, twirling her around. "Are you going to sing for me now?"

She blushed, landing flush against his chest. "God, no."

"Why not?"

"That was just us, now there's a full house," she told him, flabbergasted.

He chuckled. "Should we sneak off?"

"And do what exactly, Mr Stranger?" She asked coyly. "I'm a woman of high standards. I do _not_ sneak out of my best friend's wedding!"

"Wouldn't it be fitting? The Best Man and the Maid of Honour seen sneaking off for a secret rendezvous - singing," he replied, bringing her closer.

She laughed. "Let's just dance, okay? I'm being nice!"

"You're not nice normally?"

"Well, people call me selfish sometimes," she replied, shrugging. "I just didn't want the groom's brother to be stood up by one of the most beautiful women in the room."

He laughed, the onlookers eyeing them. "Thank you. I think we can be friends."

"Do you now?" She asked, grinning. "I'm good though, thanks for the offer."

"You're difficult-"

"Can we dance in silence, please?" She asked, eyeing Henry from the corner of her eye. "Sorry, I'm just... Let's just say, I'm happy being a lone wolf at the moment, away from all the stares and the talking."

Bash nodded. "Yes, of course. Lone wolves are cool-"

"Sebastian?"

"I'll be quiet," he said, resting his chin on her head as they continued to slow dance. After a while, he said, "What if we got to know each other better? We're going to be in the same space a lot more now that Mary and Francis are married-"

"I-I need to go," she whispered, stepping out of his embrace. "It was nice - the dance, thank you."

She turned and left through the back of the hall, heading upstairs to the hotel rooms. She got into hers and got her pills, playing with one between her forefinger and thumb.

It wasn't long until she swallowed it with water and sighed in relief.

She couldn't handle it. Her crippling fears, her anxiety, Henry, her depression... It seemed as if nothing was going to go good for her. She will be sad forever and lonely.

Her shoulders started to shake and sobs escaped her lips.

She felt _weak_.

...

_Present Day_

Kenna takes a long drag from the cigarette, letting out a few coughs when she pulls it away from her lips. It's her first time and it's not as relaxing as she thought it would be.

"I'll take that back," Francis says jovially, taking his cigarette from her fingers. "Mary hates me smoking, you know this."

"I do," she says, chuckling. "How's the pregnancy so far? Not that I don't know, but how is it for you?"

"Yeah, it's alright. She's working a bit more because Jim thinks he can swan off abroad anytime that he wants. I'm stuck playing stay-at-home dad despite having a business to run."

Kenna gives him a look. "What is it with you men and not wanting your wives to work?" She teases him.

"No, it's not that!" Francis laughs. "It's just a crucial time at work. I've got to stop my mother from carrying out a hostile takeover every day. She doesn't approve of my methods of making everything better."

Kenna eyes him, giving him a small smile. "You'll get through it." She turns and sees the classroom doors open. "Time to pick up the monsters we call _children_."

After she picks Adrien up, they go home and the second she opens the door, the smell of delicious food hits her and she giggles when Adrien rushes past to get to the source. She closes the door and heads to the kitchen behind Adrien.

"What's cooking, good looking?" Kenna asks when she enters.

"Sole meunière," Bash replies, handing a bowl of fruit to Adrien. "Wash your hands first and when you're finished, I want your uniform laid neatly on your dresser."

"Oui," Adrien says, placing his fruit down so he could get his stool and wash his hands.

Kenna heads over to Diane and kisses her cheek. "Comment ça va?" She asks quietly.

Diane gives her a tight smile. "Ça va bien, merci. I'm getting by," she says. "I might go and rest in a little bit, but stay and enjoy dinner."

"Diane, can we...?" Kenna trails off, gesturing to the garden.

The older woman collects a kitchen rag and wipes her hand before following Kenna outside into the cold. She closes the backdoor behind them and they both sit on the grass much to their amusement.

"I do not think I've sat on grass since I was a teenager," Diane tells her. "I might revisit a lot of things I used to do."

"As long as it doesn't involve neon coloured clothes," Kenna jests as her throat clogs up. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't be," Diane replies. "I've told Sebastian not to be either. I need you to look after him for me."

Kenna nods, slipping an arm around Diane's shoulder. "Of course, I will."

Diane starts sobbing and Kenna hugs her tighter, her own tears falling. The first time she and Bash were married, Kenna probably wouldn't have felt so heartbroken or console her.

Now, she will do anything to make sure Diane stays comfortable.

"I don't know how to thank you," Kenna says. "For everything."

"Don't. It's me who should thank _you_. You are a saint, Kenna, and I am glad you are in my life," Diane replies. "I've written a letter for Bash and I want you to give it to him after I'm gone."

"I will."

"I hope he won't mind that I've left the estate to Louise. I know my mother wanted him to have it, but his life is in England just as Françoise's is in Spain. It makes sense for Louise to have it but it is legally his," Diane says.

Kenna laughs a little. "You're not even waiting until your will is read, eh?"

"I work quickly," Diane replies.

"Same here," Kenna says, smiling. "We should head back in, I'm sure everyone-"

"You need to talk to Bash."

"I know," Kenna whispers. "But for now, let's enjoy some family time before everything turns upside down again."

"Oui, let's go inside."

...

At night, Diane helps the couple put Adrien down to sleep as well as deal with Perrine on the go. She's very hands-on, not wanting to miss any moment with either of them.

"I don't know what I'll do," Bash says as he washes the dishes.

They have a dishwasher, but he says it's therapeutic and Kenna doesn't discourage him. It gives his restless hands something to do. He never was one to sit down and be patient.

"When she's gone, you know?" Bash finishes, shaking his head. "She's been there for me since I was born. She's the only one I have."

"Ahem?" Kenna hums lightly.

"Well, the only parent that I am proud to call one," Bash reiterates. "I need to make some calls - see if I can get onto any-"

"Bash, she hasn't even told us exactly what she has," Kenna tells him gently. "You can't just expect to get your mother onto a waiting list for something you don't know."

Bash sighs, gripping onto the cup he holds tightly. "I can't just stand aside and do _nothing_. Kenna, didn't you feel the same when your mother was ill?"

Kenna frowns. "I was twelve, it's different."

"Exactly! I can do something, _anything_," he replies, determined. "My mum will get through this, you'll see."

He continues to wash the dishes and Kenna stares at his back, stunned at his reaction.

Before she knows it, he's sobbing and she gets up, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her forehead against his back.

"I'm so sorry," she says. "I'm so, so sorry..."

"I can't lose her," Bash whispers, turning in her arms to hug her tightly as he buries his face into her shoulder. "I can't..."

...

Bash studies his mother as she laughs at something playing on the TV. He plays with Kenna's hair as she sleeps on his chest, her breathing even and his sporadic as he bites his lip.

"Can you believe that?" Diane asks him, pointing at the TV. "Imagine the chances of falling for _twins_."

"Shame Kenna's asleep to enjoy it," he replies, fixating his eyes on the TV. "I really don't know the appeal of this show - she watches it religiously."

Dianne giggles. "Might join her!" She takes a sip from her red wine. "Oh, I should tell you, I've already made funeral arrangements. I want to be buried by my parents' graves at the estate."

Bash scowls at how casual she's reacting to this. She even starts laughing again and he digs his nails into his palm.

"Yeah, sure," he says shortly. "Let me put Kenna in bed."

He gently moves his wife from his frame and stands up, lifting her into his arms. He starts heading out of the living room and up the stairs.

Kenna awakes just as she's laid onto the bed and she sits up, yawning.

"I was meaning to talk to you about something..." She trails off, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'm going to head back down and make sure my mother is-"

"I know about Rowan having the baby. Alex called me and well, I know she's not yours. Rowan's baby, I mean," she tells him. "I also know that she is who you went to see after dinner."

Bash sits on the bed by her feet. "Megan. Megan Aubrey Marina Lavaud. She looks nothing like me nor is she mine."

Kenna swallows deeply. "I don't know what I feel. Relief? Sad? Guilt? God, she's going through this alone," she tells him.

"Kenna-"

"I've always hated Rowan, but I looked into her eyes and," she starts, her voice strained. "She looked so alone and hurt and betrayed. That's... That's what _you_ did to her, Bash. I know because you did that to me."

"Kenna, why are you even feeling sorry and guilty for her? Why won't you leave things be in the past and move on? The baby isn't mine, be glad and move on," he says, almost frustrated. "She's one thing off my mind now that I need to focus on my mother - you should too."

Kenna recoils, staring at him in confusion. "Bash-"

"Do you really think I want to talk about how alone Rowan is going to be when my mother is dying?"

She shrugs. "I'm sorry, I just felt sorry for her, I thought you would be too because she was your first and she meant something to you. I was thinking about you-"

"You were thinking about _yourself_, Kenna," he cuts her off. "You always bring up the past when we've left it behind. I do not need to think about Rowan for as long as I breathe because she isn't important. You will just keep ruining everything by looking into the bloody past and feeling sorry for the women I've left for _you_."

Kenna's face falls and she nods. "I'm sorry, I should never have said anything or brought her up."

"Kenna, we have a chance to make things better for our family. I can't think about anything else other than our family," he says, rubbing his face. "My mother's _dying_."

"I know and I'm sorry-"

"Would you stop apologising?" He snaps.

"Would _you_ stop getting annoyed at me?!" She cries back. "I just thought you'd need to air things out, but you never do unless I encourage you to! You know what? Fuck you, I don't need this right now."

She gets off the bed and heads downstairs. She stops when she sees Diane waiting at the bottom, her face crestfallen.

"Talk to your son," Kenna snaps at her before pulling her boots on and leaving the house.

After the twentieth minute of walking around their neighbourhood, she starts to feel the cold. She remembers that she never took her coat, phone or keys and she curses, not wanting to see him first thing when she steps through the door.

A familiar car stops across the street and the driver's door opens. Francis looks left and right before crossing the road to meet her.

"Why are you walking around this late?" He asks. "It's dark and it's cold."

Kenna rolls her eyes. "Bash and I argued," she shakily admits. "Rowan had the baby, did you know?"

Francis looks away and that gives him away. "Yeah, I went with him."

"I just thought he would need to talk," she says, shaking her head. "He is going through so much and I'm trying to be supportive."

"If it means anything, he never lets things out with me," Francis tells her lightly. "It's who he is."

"So what if that's who he is? I'm his wife and I am here as well as his therapist!" Kenna tells him angrily. "I'm here trying to be supportive, allowing him to just let his emotions out with me and he's giving me this..." She waves her hands in frustration.

Francis sighs. "Kenna, for the longest of time, it has always been Diane and Bash. He loves his mum, she's everything to him and she brought him up single-handedly. Bash was never good at showing his emotions or letting them out healthily. It is years of... God knows what at our dad's hands."

"What do I do, Francis? I used to keep things to myself and look where that got me? Admitted to a fucking mental health hospital," Kenna says. "What do I do?"

"See what Bash wants and support him," Francis replies, shrugging. "I don't know. I promised to keep out of your marriage issues, so my opinions don't matter."

Kenna nods sadly. "I understand... You better get home, I know how cranky Mary is when she's pregnant."

He laughs. "Want a lift?"

She shakes her head. "Thanks for the offer, though."

"Alright," he says, giving her a smile before getting back into his car and driving off.

She walks for another fifteen minutes before finally letting herself into the house with the spare key, just gone half eleven. She sees the lamp is on in the living room and she takes her boots off, replacing the spare key back into its spot.

"Kenna?" Bash calls out, heading into the foyer to meet her. He sighs in relief and brings her to his chest. "I thought you did something..."

"'Something' what?" She asks, not responding to the hug.

"Don't worry," he mutters, stepping back. "I shouldn't have got upset and take it out on you. I understand what you're trying to do for me, but let me do this my own way. I'm still learning."

"I understand."

"Sometimes seeing my therapist is enough for me and at times, I don't want to vent out on you. But I should because we are doing this together and you're my wife," he continues.

_Together_, Kenna reminds herself, thinking about what she and her father spoke about.

"I'm sorry," she says to him quietly. "I'm messing things up, aren't I?"

"You're not, it's me," he replies. "I feel like my life is falling apart and I do what I'm used to doing. Surviving on my own."

"Sebastian," she calls him. She means business. "Tell me what you want."

He shrugs. "I want my mother..." He whispers, eyes tearing up. "I want her to be there for me whenever I mess shit up. I also just want you, Adrien and Perrine, because I don't know how I'll cope with being upset and stressed out about my mother. I'll be worrying about you and whether you're going to leave me because... I've given you so many reasons and chances to leave me and you always stayed despite them. I want you to stay by my side, I don't want our marriage to suffer because of the constant reminder of my mistakes and my refusal to open up at times."

Kenna gives him an understanding nod. "I get it. I'm here whenever you need me, and we should try and talk things out calmly."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"You begged, you apologised an awful lot, you got on your knees-"

"I love you," he breathes out, cupping her cheeks as she wraps her arms around his waist.

She smiles a little. "Say it again? Please?"

He nods. "I love you, Kenna."

"I love you, Bash," she replies, kissing him. "I need to apologise to your mum. I kind of snapped at her." She blushes. "And I retract my 'fuck you', I was just-"

"Same."

"Huh?"

"I may have called you some names behind your back," he mumbles, blushing.

She hits his chest. "Classy," she says, pulling his head down to kiss his lips sweetly. "Where's Diane?"

"On her fourth glass of wine."

Kenna nods, walking around him to head into the kitchen. She sees Diane slowly sipping from her wine as she stares intently at a drawing Adrien made on the fridge.

"I'm sorry, Diane."

"It's not you," Diane replies. "I understand everything, God, I do."

Kenna takes a seat. "Remember when I gave him four weeks?"

Diane scoffs, a small smile on her lips. "Didn't even last a week."

"Right?" Kenna chuckles softly. "I give him a lifetime. We will argue and scream and shout at each other, but instead of me being scared... I'm _stronger_. I've got hope."

"And I pray that you always will have that," Diane tells her. "Promise me that you'll help him be a better person, even if you decide to end things."

Kenna smiles at her. "I promise. And I don't plan on us ending things, don't worry."

"Good. Now, I think I should be getting some sleep."

"Same here. Goodnight, Diane," Kenna says softly, getting up.

"Goodnight, Kenna."

...

One week later, Mary looks at Kenna as the other woman downs her wine, disregarding that she's still breastfeeding. What's one bad batch of milk to waste?

"I'm sorry. Here I am drinking and you have to watch and wish you were doing the same," Kenna states, narrowing her eyes at her finished glass.

Mary smiles wryly as she helps Kenna pour another glass. "It's okay. You need it."

"I'm just tired," Kenna says softly. "I can't stand the tension in my house."

She closes her eyes and sighs heavily. Her mind is filled with images of Bash saying that he can't stand her, or their marriage and him walking away from her. The amount of times she thinks about their past marriage is unthinkable.

Her eyes open and she takes a sip from her glass.

"This was a really shitty idea, I'm not even in the mood for this," Kenna says, shaking her head. "How do you do it?"

Mary shrugs. "I remind myself how much I love Francis every day. We show each other how much we mean to the other and just promise to keep other unwanted shit out of our lives," Mary replies. "It's understandable, Kenna. Couples argue because of family stress."

Kenna swallows deeply. "I... I just feel so hopeless and I want to break the cycle of us screaming at each other, leaving and slamming doors though..."

"What can you do?" Mary asks her. "Things will get easier."

"I guess," Kenna mumbles. "I still can't believe Diane's dying, we should be focusing all of our energy on her and trying to not bite each other's head off in the process."

"Jesus, Kenna," Mary replies sadly. "How _is_ Bash taking it? I never bothered to ask, sorry."

Kenna shrugs sadly. "He cries a lot and he gets upset a lot. He takes it out on me and I get defensive because that's how I protect myself. He's an arsehole and I remind myself that he's lashing out because of Diane."

"You ought to attend more couples' therapy," Mary says.

"I can't. We've used up enough days of the week," Kenna informs her. "Says she is free for more sessions in two months."

"Shit."

"Right?" Kenna sighs. "And Bash is going to Switzerland to stay with Diane and her partner for a while. Then, he's going to France to sort out more things and he'll be gone from Christmas until February. Two and a half fucking months."

Mary tuts. "You're joking."

"Nope," Kenna tells her. "I'll take the kids to Scotland over the holidays and find a way to work and deal with the kids."

Mary checks her watch and sighs. "I've got to go. Good luck, babe."

"Thanks, love," Kenna replies, giving her a quick hug. She turns and stares at a photo of her and Bash on their second wedding day. "What am I going to do with you, Sebastian?"

...

By November, Kenna easily catches on to the dynamic change in her house.

If it's not about Diane, the kids or work, Bash withdraws from her and she feels rejected. He doesn't even want to make love. She doesn't know what reason is specifically causing the distance, but everything is a part of it.

"Are you going to Tesco?" He asks, closing the fridge door and heading over to the cupboard to grab a mug.

"Yep. Do you need anything?" She asks back, feeding Perrine some baby food.

"Adrien needs his raisins for his packed lunch. I didn't even know we started that shit... Or was it for the London Zoo school trip? I don't know," Bash informs her, rubbing his head. "Oh, I'll need to see Francis about something I signed on a while back for the company. I'll be out all afternoon and evening."

Kenna clicks her tongue. "So, I'll have to go food shopping _and_ find enough time to pick Adrien up. Great."

"It's not my fault someone's mother's dying," he mutters darkly. "We've run out of my nut milk, by the way."

She sighs. "I'll add it to the list," she tells him, adding it to her notes on her mobile.

She watches as he completely leaves the tea or whatever he was making, heading out of the kitchen. She soon hears his footsteps heading upstairs and she lets out a frustrated groan.

"Your daddy is so annoying," she says to her daughter. "When you meet someone, just hope they won't be as frustrating as Papa, okay?"

She giggles when Perrine gives her a gummy smile, sliding one spoonful into the baby's mouth. She's her light in all of their hostility. She thought things were going well, but the more Diane tells him of her declining health, day by day Bash withdraws.

By night time, she heads downstairs after changing Perrine's nappy, a yawn escapes her lips. It's pitch black outside and she checks the clock in the living room - just gone past one.

"You forgot the nut milk."

Kenna jumps when she heads into the kitchen, seeing her husband standing by an open fridge. She runs a hand through her hair and curses mentally, reminding herself that Perrine had vomited all over her clothes when she got to the milk aisle.

"I'm sorry-"

"I can't drink _cow's_ milk, Kenna!" Her husband snaps. "For fuck's sake..."

"Why do you even need it right now?" She retorts, heading to the medicine cupboard to look for the cream.

He slams the fridge door closed and sits down, covering his face. "I can't sleep, I feel nauseous when I eat or don't eat," he mumbles. "I just wanted some tea, just relax my mind... Why are you downstairs?"

"Perrine was crying - she did a huge poo all over her back... I came to look for the rash cream," she replies retrieving it and sitting across from him. "We can't continue like this, Sebastian."

"I don't want to talk-"

"That is your problem," Kenna says sadly. "I love Diane too. She means a lot to me as well and I'm so sorry that you and she are going through this."

Bash shakes his head. "You don't get it."

"Help me get it," she replies, staring intently at him, willing him to turn to her.

He removes his hands from his face, resting his chin on his fists. "I will never be able to call or see her again when she's gone. My father never apologised for the shit he did to me and now he's gone and I'm losing my mother. I'll be an orphan, Kenna."

Kenna nods, taking what he says in. "I hear you and I am here to let you know, when she's gone, I will still be here for you."

She reaches out nervously and waits for him to respond and put his hand in hers. She watches him watch her hand and she sighs.

Just as she's about to retrieve it back, she feels him grip her hand tightly and hears him take a shaky breath.

"People leave me, Kenna. We learnt that the hard way," Bash says softly. "I just sometimes forget that some are here to stay."

"Then _remind_ yourself," she says firmly. "Because look at our rings, they are a sign that I'm your _wife_ and I'm here for the good and the bad. Just let me in, Bash."

"I will," he promises, kissing her hand.

"Thank you."

He nods. "I haven't even asked how you are. I've made things about me."

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'm alright, babe. It's you I'm worried about," Kenna replies. "When you're alright, I'm alright."

"You sure?" He asks. "I've literally told you that I'm going to be away for two and a half months. And I went off on you for nut milk for fuck's sake. Babe..."

She falters. "I'd rather you lash out over nut milk than walk out the door," she whispers, getting up from her seat to straddle his hips. "At least I know you're still here. With _me_ and not..."

"Not some other woman?"

She shakily nods. "Can you blame me?"

"No," he says with a sigh, cupping her cheeks. "Why are you scared of me walking out when _I'm_ scared of you doing that like you did after we argued about Rowan?"

"I didn't walk out," she says. "I went to clear my mind and stop us from saying things we couldn't take back. And don't you even _dare_ think I'd harm myself either."

Bash sighs in relief. He remembers the difficult conversation he and his mother had, the woman warning him that his wife would one day leave him again if he wasn't careful. He was never going to lose her again, he loves her too much to hurt her again.

"I never did think before I acted," he says lightly, staring into her eyes. "Let me make it up to you."

"How?"

His lips hover over her pulse point on her neck and he kisses it. "Remember when we were in France - that little apartment we stayed in after that huge argument you had with my mother?"

"God, I can't remember why we were even arguing," Kenna says, laughing softly. "But, yes, I do."

"Now, you do remember that we christened that kitchen a few times over?" He whispers, standing them up and gently pushing his wife to sit on the table.

"Our kids eat at this table," she says huskily.

"Didn't stop us in France..."

He presses his lips against hers, her arms wrapping around his neck and she pulls him closer, slowly sliding a hand down south. He chuckles at her response, pulling back and shaking his head.

"Kenna..." He drawls. "I want to make it up to _you_."

She pouts. "Fine," she says, blushing furiously.

"I just want to make _you_ feel good. I don't need to be helped," he teases her. "Come on, let me have my fun. Let _me_ love _you_."

"You're so sweet and frustrating at times."

He bites her ear softly. "I'm sorry. I'm working on it."

"Alright, we should take this upstairs. I really don't want to look at the table the way I do at the couches in the apartment," she says, smirking a little.

"What my queen wants, she gets," Bash replies, lifting her up into his arms, bridal style.

He walks over to the light switch and she switches the lights off. He then heads to the bottom of the stairs and kisses her deeply.

"I love you, Kenna."

She smiles. "I love you too, Bash."


	30. Chapter 30

"Have you got your passport, your house keys, your flight-"

"Kenna, I've double, and even triple, checked, babe," Bash teases his wife, pulling her in for a tight hug. "I'll be fine."

Kenna sighs, burrowing her face into his shoulder. "Don't be too hard on your mum's boyfriend, alright? And say 'hello' to your sisters for me."

"I will," he promises. "I'll miss you and the kids."

"We'll miss you, too," Kenna says, kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you more," Bash tells her before letting go and picking his travel bag up. "See you in February."

She nods. "Yep," she says, walking him to the door. "Text or call me every night or day, let me know you're safe and alright."

"I will."

She finally opens the door just as the cab pulls up. "Don't forget to Skype Adi at six, he'll be done with dinner but only for thirty minutes because he needs to do his homework. Remember to ask him about his Tennis Club."

Bash chuckles, kissing her cheek. "I've got the written reminder and the one on my phone. Kenna, I've got everything in my head as well. I have to go."

Kenna admits defeat. "I just wanted a few more seconds... But yes, go and send Diane my love."

After he's gone, Kenna heads upstairs and into the bathroom. She turns the shower on and heads over to the sink, rubbing her hands over her face as she inspects her tiredness and worry.

_Everything will be fine_, she thinks, digging through the top drawer for her facial care routine.

She's been slacking, she knows it, but the months leading to December have been very difficult. She retrieves her phone from her robe pocket and unlocks it, heading straight to the girls' WhatsApp group chat.

{You: **Anyone free today?**}

{Mary: **Can move shit around. Why?**}

{Greer: **On my annual leave so, thank God you texted. Got nothing to do.**}

{Lola: **Got a lot of marking to do at home :( Free this weekend though but you can go off without me xx**}

Kenna sighs. She'd rather the girls all do something together rather than leave one out. She has plans to go shopping, even offering to pay for whatever her friends lay their eyes on.

{You: **Was planning on going to Westfield. We can go there on the weekend then but head over to Lola's to help her destress at 5 PM tonight x Bash got me a chocolate fountain ;)**}

{Greer: **We ALL know what you're both using that poor fountain for x What do you say Lols?**}

{Lola: **I say, I've already got the fruit and can swing for marshmallows if one of you can bring some, it's a plan!**}

{Mary: **Then I am down x B) Are kids invited?**}

{Lola: **Don't mind, ALL are welcome for practice - Stephane's away ;)**}

Kenna laughs and takes her clothes off. She puts them in the laundry basket and gets under the shower, sighing in relief when she feels the water on her face. She hasn't got long, Perrine is going to wake up soon.

But she takes her time, painstakingly cleaning herself and washing her hair. Her hair has gone darker now, back to its normal colour as her caramel highlights have been washed out. Her hair is also growing and its reached past her shoulders.

By the time she's done, she heads into Perrine's room and grins when she sees that the six-month-old is wide awake. She even starts singing, lifting her baby into her arms.

"Someone needs a bath and a fresh nappy," she says, kissing her daughter's hair.

By the time she's got Perrine ready for the day, it's just gone past eleven. She feels bored as she feeds Perrine her breakfast and eats her own.

She has no plans as today was a Wednesday and the only plan she has is this evening. Although she has some work to do, she's decided to put it off until tomorrow just to have a day to settle herself with raising two kids for the time being.

Despite having her daughter in front of her and her son close, she feels alone. Her mind drifts off to unsettling thoughts and she takes a deep breath in, pushing them away.

Everything is okay, nothing is wrong - she doesn't need to do that or even think about that. She feels unsteady, maybe because Bash isn't here to provide some sort of comfort.

Perhaps, because her fears about him cripple her mind. Every time they were apart, he'd find comfort in other women. Recently, he is doing good, the Rowan situation put to rest.

A part of her knows that her request for him to call or text her every day was a bit obsessive and unfair, but she reminds herself about their second wedding day. About the fake smiles and forced blushes after he told her he slept with Rowan.

She tuts, unlocking her phone and heads to her messages.

{To Bash (Husband): **Hope you got to Switzerland safely x Just letting you know that we're good. You don't have to contact me if you don't want to.**}

{From Bash (Husband): **I did and I know x I want to. That and you'll probably be worried if I'm seeing someone else.**}

She scoffs to herself. He really gets her now and he surprises her. He's learning and she's sort of happy and sort of scared. From unreadable to easily read through a simple text.

{To Bash (Husband): **That obvious?**}

{From Bash (Husband): **Totally, I've got to go. I love you.**}

She doesn't bother to reply, if he can read her being in another country, he can tell what her answer will be. Anyway, she needs to focus on Perrine who spits up all over her bib, making her let out a soft sigh.

She really wishes that February was here already.

...

After texting Kenna, Bash looks up and gives his mother a smile.

"You've been staring at that phone for a while," she states, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Kenna?"

"Yep," he says. "She sends her love."

"You said when you stepped through the door," Diane tells him. "I understand, you don't need to hide that kind of stuff from me."

Bash shrugs. "It's my marriage. I don't really want to say that my wife doesn't trust me. She does before you say anything."

Diane chuckles to herself, coming over to sit at the counter island with him. She strokes his cheek and plays with his hair.

"I will miss this," she whispers. "Looking at you..."

"Maman..."

"I know. You're a man, darling - you don't need me."

Bash frowns. "I do. But I can't handle you acting like this. All nonchalant and then really loving..."

"I don't know how to act, Bash!" Diane cries out, shrugging. "Do I sit and cry, depressing you all even further? I didn't even want you to be here."

"Tough, I'm here to stay," he says, hugging her tightly. "You can't get rid of me."

They hear footsteps and he pulls away, eyeing his mother's boyfriend enter the kitchen nervously. Bash still doesn't know what to make of him, only meeting him once before at Perrine's christening.

Niko Benzinger who has dark brown hair, a thin moustache and is a citizen hailing from the German part of Switzerland. He can also speak French and Italian, languages that Bash can speak as well.

"Niko," Bash calls him. "I was thinking if we could all go out for dinner? The doctor said that Maman should have as much fresh air as possible."

Niko stills by the fridge and turns to him. "Ja, we can go to the outdoors café."

"Yes," Bash says. "I'll go get ready."

He gets up and heads upstairs. It's a small country house and it's peaceful, something his mother definitely needs. It's much more contained as well and his room is down the hall from theirs.

By the time he's ready to go, he pauses at the top of the stairs, hearing his mother's voice as well as Niko's. From what he hears, the other man is not pleased about their privacy being invaded.

"He's my son, Niko. I wasn't about to reject his offer to visit!"

"You had over three decades with him, I still have to share you?"

Diane gasps. "You will never understand - you don't have children. Regardless of age, he's my son and I've made mistakes in the past, whatever time I have left, I will make sure he's with me and the same for my girls. Especially since..."

"Leave him in the past, Diane."

"He has a right to know. I told you because I couldn't hide it anymore, but they all have the right to know."

Bash takes a shaky breath, wondering what he has a right to know about. He makes his presence known when he comes down the stairs and heads into the kitchen.

"I'm ready."

Dinner is awkward and Bash spends his time texting Kenna as his mother and Niko converse. He knows he's third-wheeling, but he doesn't care. He knows where he stands with Niko, but the man won't stop him from being there for Diane.

_Controlling prick_, he thinks bitterly.

His phone starts to ring and he sees that it's Adrien Skyping him. Smiling, he answers and taps his mother's forearm.

"Hey, Little Man! I'm with Meme, do you want to say 'hi' to her?" Bash asks his son, handing the phone over before either person could make a decision.

As Diane talks to her grandson, Bash sets his attention on Niko and gestures for the man to follow him to the side.

"Jealousy is an ugly colour," he says tersely. "I would know, I wore it many times"

Niko narrows his eyes. "I never thought I could fall in love, but I met your mother and everything changed for me. I don't want to lose her to ungrateful children, I know how you and your sisters treated her growing up."

"We're adults now," Bash replies. "If you're going to hold something we did in our pasts against us, you are really scraping at the bottom of the barrel."

"I want to spend as much time as possible with Diane, you are not helping that," Niko says.

Bash clicks his tongue. "I thought you were a decent guy. I mean, I only found out about you last December and all I knew was that you made my mother happy. Now, you do realise that Diane cares about her children first, then her grandchildren, herself and _then_ partners. Hurt either one before you, then you won't see her again."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, but it can be-"

"Bash! Adrien wants to tell you about his Tennis Club!" His mother tells him, waving them over.

Bash gives her a smile and turns back to Niko. "You don't know what I'm capable of," he says, just so he can hear. "Know your place in her heart - _nowhere_."

He returns to his seat and takes his phone from his mother's hand, greeting Adrien properly. From the corner of his eye, he sees Niko take his seat and send a smile that seems to make Diane unnerved about their little chat.

"Shall we order then?" She asks, smiling despite the awkwardness.

...

By early Christmas Eve, Kenna and the children get to her parents' late. It's been snowing heavily and transportation was delayed everywhere much to her grief. She's glad she chose flights instead of a train though, but Perrine didn't let anyone rest with her constant babbling and noise.

"Come in, come in!" Her father rushes them inside. "The heaters are on. Let me take her."

He takes the buggy and Kenna sighs in relief, heading back out to collect the rest of their stuff as Adrien takes his Wellington boots off. He'd almost slipped a few times when they left the airport so she had to change his shoes.

"Is everyone else asleep?" Kenna asks her father, shutting the doors behind her and taking her boots off.

Robert nods, unstrapping his granddaughter. "Alexander and Archie got here straight after their night shift, they've been pretty much knocked out all day. Your mother couldn't stay up, she fell asleep. The boys and Paisley went up a while ago too. I had to stay up in case you needed a lift, but the whole bloody place was snowed in."

Kenna nods, retrieving her slippers and putting them on. "I noticed. We had to walk a few miles down because the bridge was dangerous for the cab to cross over."

"You should have called, I would have come-"

"My phone's dead. Adrien used the battery up Skyping Bash," she says, yawning. "Adi, upstairs, please. I'll be up soon to put you down but get into your pyjamas."

She hands him his little Spiderman suitcase and backpack and he trudges up the steps as Kenna and her father head into the kitchen with Perrine in his arms.

"How's Sebastian and his mother?" Her father asks cautiously.

Kenna sighs. "He's having issues with his 'stepfather'. Niko seems like an alright guy, but he's a total arsehole and wants Diane all to himself. I ought to get down there and show him a piece of my mind!"

"Well, when someone is dying, it's never easy," Robert replies sadly.

Kenan nods sadly. "I know. I'm sorry for acting out when Mum had cancer."

"You were a kid, and you weren't as bad as the boys," he tells her. "You get something down you and I'll sort out the kids."

"Yeah?"

"Of course. You need rest, darling. I'll see you in the morning," Robert says, leaving the kitchen and taking some of their things up.

As Kenna sits at the table with a cup of hot chocolate, she hears lighter footsteps enter the kitchen. She looks up and gives her sister a bright smile.

"Hey, Paisers," she says softly.

"Hi..." Paisley replies, sitting across from her. "Are you okay?"

Kenna nods a little. "I guess. You?"

"Well, I'm... I'm pregnant, Kenna," Paisley whispers. "Everyone else knows, Mum was being nosey as usual and saw the tests. I didn't realise you'd get here late."

Kenna laughs a little, reaching over to grab her sister's hand and squeeze it. "Congratulations, baby sister. You're growing up."

Tears spring to her eyes and she sniffles, wiping them.

"I'm sorry," Paisley says quickly. "I-I didn't think-"

"Paisley, do you really think I'll hate every woman who gets pregnant in my life?" Kenna asks her lightly. "I'm alright."

Paisley gives her a watery smile. "If you're sure. Remember that doll I couldn't let go of until I was ten?"

Kenna snorts loudly. "Oh my God, by the time you did get rid of it, it was old and disgusting!"

"Hey, don't diss Baby Jasmyne like that!" Paisley says, laughing.

Kenna bites her lip and looks away, tears rolling down her cheeks. "It's been so long, hasn't it?"

"Since what?"

"We were kids," Kenna says, sniffling. "We're mums, Paisley!"

Paisley breathes out nervously. "We are... How does it feel? Being a mum?"

Kenna shrugs in indifference. "It's different for everyone. With Adrien, things were easy. Probably because I had so much help, I barely changed his nappies. But with Perrine..." She takes a sharp intake of breath. "It's been six months, I'm still getting there."

"Do you think I can do it?"

"Yes," Kenna replies easily. "Motherhood isn't easy, but you're a great person and any child would be lucky to have you as their mother."

Paisley kisses her sister's hand and blinks away her tears. "How's Sebastian?"

"Wondering why none of you calls him 'Bash'," Kenna teases her. "He's okay, I guess. Haven't really spoken to him since Adrien hogged the bloody phone and drained my battery."

"Well, give him a call," Paisley says. "It may be late, but I'm sure he'd like to hear from you."

Kenna nods and watches as she leaves, drinking her remaining hot chocolate. She gets up and puts the mug into the dishwasher before heading back to the foyer to collect the remaining suitcase and her handbag.

As quickly as possible, she pulls the suitcase up the stairs and when she reaches the top, she heads into her bedroom and smiles when she sees that her son is already asleep and Perrine is in the cot right beside him, her favourite melody playing on the mobile.

She takes her phone out of her bag as well as her charger, plugging the charger and connecting her phone to the USB. She waits until she has ten per cent on the charge before snapping a picture of her sleeping children and sending it to Bash.

Her phone starts to vibrate and she answers, kicking her slippers off and getting into the bed.

"Bonjour, mon amour," she says quietly.

_"It's like one in the morning for you,"_ he says. _"And isn't your phone dead?"_

Kenna giggles softly. "Not anymore, I'm charging it and yes, it is one in the morning. That must mean it's two for you."

_"Yeah, I couldn't sleep. My mother's practically coughing up her lungs and I freaked out because... blood came out."_

"Shit," Kenna whispers, quickly eyeing her kids to make sure they didn't hear. "Babe, I'm so sorry."

_"It's fine. It was just unexpected to see that. She normally hides it,"_ he replies much to her alarm.

Kenna sighs. "Well, I hope she takes it easy. I was thinking about bringing the kids over for a couple of days before school starts again for Adrien... You know, just to bring some life into there considering Niko's possessive."

_"No, you stay right there. She's already annoyed that my sisters are coming - they won't take 'no' for an answer and I'll pick them up this evening,"_ Bash explains. _"Just enjoy your time with your family."_

"My family is your family and same goes for yours being mine," Kenna tells him. "If you need me, I will book the first flight there and even if I can't get a flight, my dad has his jet."

_"I know, but I think that it should be just us for now,"_ Bash says. _"I don't want her overcrowded or anything."_

Kenna frowns. "Did something happen?"

_"We went shopping for presents yesterday and she collapsed. She's fine, but her doctor said that she must be on bed rest,"_ he admits. _"She hasn't left the bed since and she's barely eating. She specifically told me not to tell you because you'd worry and then you would want to come with the kids and she doesn't want anyone, even me, to see her like that."_

"Oh, right," Kenna mumbles. "Damn... Buy her some flowers from us and don't forget I put her-"

_"Gift in the first compartment of my suitcase, I know,"_ Bash finishes for her. _"She misses all of you and so do I."_

Kenna smiles sadly. "We miss you both too. Keep me updated, I've got to sleep before Perrine wakes up for no reason this early morning."

He chuckles softly. _"Bonne nuit."_

"Et toi," she replies, hanging up.

She lets out a heavy sigh and places her phone on the nightstand before getting up and rummaging through her suitcase. She finds her pyjamas and puts them on, leaving her clothes on her vanity chair.

Turning on the lamp, she turns off the main light and gets under the duvet, carefully pulling Adrien to her chest so she can snuggle with him.

"Lord, protect my family and give us strength as we go through these trying times," she says softly, closing her eyes. "Give my mother-in-law the strength she needs to fight against her illness and survive, and give her son and daughters the strength to be there for her and support her, comfort her and love her. Also, bless my sister and her partner in their venture into parenthood and look after my parents and siblings. In Jesus' name, we pray-"

"Amen."

Kenna opens her eyes and looks down to feel her son squeeze her arm. "Amen," she says, pressing a kiss onto his hair. "Good boy."

"Goodnight, Mama," Adrien says.

"Goodnight, Adrien. And goodnight, Perrine."

...

By the time she wakes up, Kenna feels the space beside her and finds it empty. She also notices that the crib is vacant and a note is on top of her phone which was now fully charged and the charger was out.

_[Didn't have the heart to wake you up from your slumber x I've got the kids sorted. Mumma xx]_

She lets out a smile, getting out of bed and opening up her suitcase to fix her outfit for the day. She lets out a yawn as she picks out a dark purple sweater and jeans.

After she's showered, dressed and brushed her teeth, she leaves her room and heads downstairs with her phone in her hand. She spots the time and gasps when it's past twelve.

"Why did no one wake me?" She asks, heading into the kitchen to find her mother, her children, Paisley and Archie.

Her mother heads towards her, pulling her into a tight hug. "I walked past your bedroom and heard you on the phone. You needed the rest, trust me. Hello, my baby girl."

"Hi, Mum. I don't think I've had a good night's rest in a while," Kenna mumbles, sitting down beside Archie so she could take over in feeding the baby. "Bash doesn't sleep so I have to be ready to take his call."

"How is Papa?" Adrien asks her, looking up from his lunch.

Kenna smiles. "He's fine. And so is Meme."

Satisfied with her answer, he returns his attention to his food much to his mother's relief. He was a smart kid, he could tell when things were tense in his house.

"Hi, Archie," Kenna finally greets the woman. "I was surprised to hear you were here."

Archie shrugs. "My family went abroad and I didn't want to go with them considering I could be on call at any moment. Alex suggested that I come so I didn't feel alone."

"That's sweet of him," Paisley replies, sharing a knowing look with Kenna.

Archie rolls her eyes and gets up to wash her hands. "We're friends."

"Alex doesn't _do_ 'friends'," Joanna informs her. "He... He cares about you if you know what I mean?"

"I do and I've told him-"

"This is the second Christmas you've spent with his family," Kenna cuts her off. "There's obviously something there."

Archie sighs. "I don't know."

"Archie, you do know," Joanna states.

"It's complicated. I mean, I see him every day so, I don't know if I'll be able to handle a relationship more than what we have now. We're just working on it."

Kenna nods. "I get it. Sometimes I want to see Bash every day, but other times I'd want him to be on the other side of the world because we butt heads regardless of what we're doing. It's complicated."

"How is he?" Archie asks cautiously, eyeing Adrien. "Alex told me that his mother was not so well?"

Kenna clicks her tongue. "She isn't well," she replies, strained. "He doesn't want us to worry."

"But you are worrying," her mother says, kissing the side of her hair. "Perhaps I should give Diane a call. We became quite good friends during the past year."

"I'm glad," Kenna tells her mother. "I don't know, I'll text Bash and see if she's down for a chat."

She places the baby food down and rubs her face, letting out a frustrated groan. She misses him like crazy and wants him home or to be with him, but he has to stay with his mother.

"I'm tired, sorry," she mumbles, getting up. "I'm going to take a breather."

She lets her sister continue feeding Perrine as she leaves, grabbing her coat and pulling on her knee-high boots and grabbing her keys.

It's freezing outside and the snow starts to fall, caking her hair. Although it's the afternoon, it feels like the day has been dragging on for a while and she wants nothing more than to go back to sleep and wait for February to come already.

Kenna feels cold tears fall down her cheeks.

...

Bash balances the tray with one hand as his other opens the door to his mother's room. He enters and places the tray on the dresser before going over to open the curtains.

"Bonne après-midi, Maman," he says, turning to see that her eyes are still closed despite the sunlight hitting her face.

She looks peaceful and Bash smiles, letting her sleep for just a little bit longer as he heads over to her wardrobe to find an outfit for her to wear. It's Christmas Eve and she'll like to make an effort, they're expecting guests.

He wants to let his sisters take over in dressing her so he quickly chooses an emerald green skirt and matching blouse with a silk blazer in the same colour. He always had a taste for choosing clothes for his mother and wife. He knows them like the back of his hand.

"Maman?" He calls out, bringing the clothes over to the armchair by the window. "It's afternoon and we're expecting guests very soon. Louise and Françoise are already cooking."

He walks back towards the food, pouring a glass of water for his mother as well as retrieving some painkillers. She always needs two when she wakes up.

"Adrien will call later and Kenna is just desperate to hear your voice," he continues, heading towards the bed. "She's got you a present for tomorrow, you'll love it because she always gives the best..."

His heart stops when his eyes can't see her chest rise and fall. Placing the glass onto the nightstand, he checks her pulse and when he doesn't _feel_ anything, he backs away in shock.

"Maman?" He whispers. "Mother!"

His mind goes blank and all he does is stare. It's a few minutes until he springs into action and retrieves his phone from his pocket, dialling '144' for the emergency services.

He sticks his phone on his ear and uses his shoulder to hold it in place as he gently coerces his mother onto the ground and places one of her pillows underneath her head.

"Louise!" He yells, starting to perform CPR. "Françoise!"

He sighs in relief when he hears heels getting closer and closer and soon, his sisters are in the bedroom, gasping at the sight before them.

"Take the phone," he says to Louise. "Tell them that there is no pulse but CPR is being performed-"

"I can't speak German," Louise says, shoving the phone to their older sister who also can't speak the language.

Bash closes his eyes, still doing CPR. "I can. Just put the phone on loudspeaker."

Françoise kneels by their mother's other side, shaking as she watches Bash perform mouth to mouth. When he comes back up, he speaks with the emergency services and all she and Louise can do is stare.

"Please, don't die..." She croaks out. "Please, Mama..."

...

As Adrien plays with Lachlan and Douglas, and Perrine is being cooed on by her aunts, Kenna sips on her wine and flicks through a magazine. It's a peaceful evening and she's glad she decided to come because her family are wonderful, looking after the children so she has a break.

She even got her nails done since her mother knew someone who did house calls. She feels pampered and spoiled, a smile lighting up her face when she reminds herself that she's pushed down the dark thoughts.

Kenna hasn't even had nightmares of her husband in another woman's arms and she _trusts_ him. Trust. God, she loves him and she trusts him, what more can a man ask for at Christmas?

She chuckles to herself, sipping her wine. Of course, she will not only give him trust. He deserves so much because the year they've had has been a rollercoaster and with Diane's illness, her husband needs all the rest and gifts he can get.

"Those look wonderful," her father says from over her shoulder. "You and Sebastian didn't have a honeymoon, right?"

Kenna looks up and nods. "I'm thinking of giving him one. I was quite adamant that we didn't need one, but after everything, we definitely do. Might plan it for Valentine's and get someone to look after the kids for us."

"Well, any ideas on where to go?"

Kenna shrugs. "We've already gone to Thailand for an anniversary and we went to Malaysia for our honeymoon... Might try Hawaii or Japan."

"Well, you can always borrow the jet when you make a decision," her father replies.

"Thank you," she says, grinning. "It would be a lovely, little surprise. I'm planning on making it stretch for two weeks. Or we should wait until Easter for four weeks away."

"Well, your mother and I are always available. When you own a company, you can set your own days off," Robert replies coyly. "Right, let me see how our Christmas dinner is doing. You have us making tofu because of your vegan husband. Just in case he stops by."

Kenna snorts. "I didn't plan on marrying a vegan," she says. "But tofu does sound great. Who knows? Switzerland is only almost two hours or so by plane, he could make it for Christmas after all."

"That would be a Christmas miracle."

By the time its bedtime for the adults, Kenna heads over to her nightstand and gasps when she sees that she has seventeen missed calls from Bash. She left her phone on silent, thinking she'll give him a call at night since he was a night owl these days.

She calls him, her anxiety rising. Seventeen was too many times.

"Mon amour, I'm so sorry, my phone was on si-"

_"She's gone."_

Kenna's eyes widen and she sinks to the ground, resting her back against the bed. The same bed where their son lays asleep, unaware of what's going on. The same bed she was about to sleep on and miss this news.

"Gone? Where?" She asks, knowing full well what he meant.

He takes a sharp intake of breath. _"She went to bed last night and didn't wake up. She's dead, Kenna."_

"I'm coming-"

_"No-_"

"I am and there's nothing you can do to stop-"

_"I'm already at the gates,"_ her husband whispers. _"I had to get out of there. I couldn't breathe. Kenna, she's..."_

Kenna jumps up and opens her door, rushing downstairs and pulling her boots on. She presses the button to open the gates and dumps her phone on the table by the door, forgoing a coat as she runs out the front doors.

When she reaches the gates, she launches herself into Bash's arms and hugs him tightly. She grips onto his hair, burying his face into her shoulder as he sobs. Her own eyes water and she closes her eyes, hugging him tightly even when they sink to the ground.

She feels the coldness of the snow cake her trousers, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is Bash and making him feel better. He doesn't deserve this. He was getting his life back together, moving on from his past and looking towards the future, _their_ future.

His sobs are gut-wrenching and she flinches. This isn't anything she's ever heard before, this is _years_ of trauma coming through his grief and she whispers soothing words into his ear. Soothing French songs, anything to make him feel better.

Bash's response is to hold her tighter, gripping onto her as if his life depends on it. She's his lifeline, his wife, his everything and she's the only one who has understood what he went through even without asking.

"I'm so sorry," she says softly. "I'm so sorry..."

...

It's three in the morning. Christmas Day. The day his mother will never get to see.

"How are you feeling?" Robert asks gently before cursing. "Sorry, that is a very absurd question."

Bash smiles wryly. "I'm alright, thanks. We all knew it was coming so I'm alright. It was just shocking. I did CPR and I-I was talking to her, I believed she was asleep and..."

He sighs, covering his face as Kenna leans her head against his shoulder, rubbing his forearm. He feels sick and he wants to throw up, but he can't. He feels empty and no matter how many soothing words his wife whispers into his ear, they'll never come from his mother's lips.

"Louise and Françoise are sorting out her things," he says, gulping. "Some Christmas, eh?"

Robert pours him some Scotch, pushing the glass towards Bash. He watches as his son-in-law looks at the glass uncertainly and pulls it slowly towards his chest as if protecting the drink.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think-"

"I need it," Bash cuts him off. "It will be the only one, I'm not completely sober, remember?"

He downs it and Robert pours him another. It won't be the only one. This time, he takes it and stands up, turning to Kenna.

"Want to go to bed?" He asks his wife.

Kenna studies his bloodshot red eyes and nods, also getting up. She rounds the table to kiss her father's cheek before following her husband upstairs to the guest bedroom his mother stayed in last Christmas.

Bash places the drink on the nightstand, turning on the lamp and starting to strip. He turns to face Kenna who is already in her pyjamas, having changed out of the snow soaked clothes she wore earlier.

"Close the door," he says. "I'm sure the kids will be alright for the night."

Kenna nods. The last time they stayed in Scotland as a family, Perrine became ill but she was alright and she has a baby monitor installed so she can check on their kids at any time.

She closes the door, locks it and walks towards Bash, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kisses him. She wants to help him forget, to grieve, to _love_. They were barely intimate, but the times they were made her cherish him.

His lips trail downwards, to her jawline, her ear, her collarbone. He leaves love bites, he wants this Christmas to be better than the year before and the year before that. He wants her to know exactly what he thinks of her.

"You know I love you?" He asks her, kissing her earlobe.

"I do," her breathy reply comes.

"I worship the ground you walk on," he continues, kneeling down and pulling her pyjama shorts down. "I love every. Single. Part. Of. You."

He presses kisses on her knees, her inner thighs, going upwards as his finger hooks onto her lace underwear and pulls it down. He hooks her leg over his shoulder and she uses his hair as support, trying to balance on one foot.

"B-Bash," she moans when he finally reaches the spot she wanted him to.

Now she's glad she decided to stay in the guest bedroom. Two kids would certainly have killed the mood and without the worry of getting pregnant and having a child so soon after their daughter, she can feel him wholly and completely.

"W-We have to be quiet," she says breathily, looking down at him.

"It's you who needs to heed that warning," her husband replies, continuing his actions.

Her eyes roll back and she grips onto him even harder, grinding into his mouth. When she lets go, she clamps her mouth shut tight, lets out a moan and shivers. She waits a little bit before unhooking her leg from his shoulder, she collects her pants and shorts, placing them on the chair.

"Bash..." She calls him softly, going over to sit on the bed. "I didn't need that."

"You did," Bash says, shrugging. "You've always been there for me."

She sniffles, her eyes stinging. "But you lost your mum."

"She..." He pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes. "She wouldn't want me to dwell. I don't need to be pleasured or comforted, I just need you and our kids."

She slips her shirt off over her head and beckons him over. When he stands before her, she undoes his belt and pulls his jeans off.

"Kenna..."

"I want to make love to you," she tells him, looking up to reach his eyes as she slips her hand into his boxers. "Merry Christmas, Sebastian."

"Merry Christmas, Mckenna," Bash says, leaning down to kiss her. He groans into her mouth when she starts stroking him. "Babe, stop."

She doesn't, her lips moving to suck on his neck. She picks up the pace, feeling him press his head into her shoulder.

"I want you..." She whispers. "To be happy, Bash. I want to help you, I want to _love_ you."

He shivers against her and she finishes, grabbing a towel to wipe her hand off as he sits down beside her. She smiles to herself, hearing him breathe erratically.

"Only you make me feel like that," Bash tells her.

She raises an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Like everything is going to be okay," he says, sniffling. "Like I'm the only man in the world."

He starts to shake and it's not because of her. Sobs escape his lips and she gets under the covers, manoeuvring him to do the same as she lets him rest his head on her chest. Her hand finds his heart, where her name is inscribed on his skin for life.

"I love you so goddamn much, Bash and I want to help you," Kenna says to him, running her fingers through his hair.

He presses a kiss onto her ribcage and sighs against her skin. His tears wet her sun-kissed skin and he rests his chin on it, drawing circles by her belly button.

"When you're ready," she starts, playing with the baby hairs at the back of his neck. "We can go further."

After a while, he moves so he hovers over her. Pressing a kiss onto her lips, he enters her and makes her gasp. Using it to his advantage, he slips his tongue into her mouth and hers immediately responds, battling against each other as he starts to thrust at a steady pace.

She feels herself clench as her hand grips onto his hips, pressing him further and deeper as he picks up the pace. She knows that if their lips detach, she'll make noises beyond her control and wake everyone up. It's a risk she's willing to take when she pulls away and sucks his pulse point,

Her breathing quickens and she places her mouth back on his, letting out small whimpers of pleasure when he goes harder. He can go harder all he wants, as long as it helps.

It's not long before she feels herself about to release, her stomach tied in knots. But he's not there yet and she waits and lets him take control. He needs to be in control because a lot of things were out of his control.

Kenna opens her eyes, seeing his screwed shut, tears falling down his cheeks. She becomes undone and shakily wipes his cheeks, kissing the tears away when they continue to fall.

Bash digs his face into her shoulder and uses her skin to cover his mouth when he becomes undone, letting out a guttural moan of his wife's name. He starts to cry and she just wraps her arms around him, holding him.

"I'm here, Bash. I've got you, mon amour," she whispers into his ear, her own tears sliding down her face. "I've got you."

...

Kenna sighs when she sees that the backdoor through the kitchen is unlocked. She retrieves her coat and heads outside into the cold. She keeps walking until she reaches the lake in the woods behind her family's home.

The lake is frozen now, almost serene and peaceful if not for the lowly trickling of water coming from the frozen waterfall. There are no birdsong or animal life, the clouded white sky just endless.

She finds Bash on a bench that is dedicated to her paternal grandmother, Mamó Linda. Silently, she sits beside him and sighs, watching the lake in front of them, the cold biting at her cheeks.

She blows out a puff of air and cringes when she smells something strong, unpleasant and smokey. She turns to her husband and sees him smoking, a terrible habit that he's returned to following his lack of pleasure for alcohol and stress over his mother.

"It's cold out, how long have you been out here for?" She asks.

"I don't know," he replies. "Where are the kids?"

She looks away. "Church. Douglas stayed to finish cooking."

"I'm sorry, Kenna," her husband mumbles. "I thought I was okay. I didn't mean to cry like a baby on you last night."

Kenna chuckles. "Oh, Bash. I don't mind. You're hurting and you can cry all you want."

Bash smiles sadly. "Thanks, babe. The funeral's on New Year's Eve. Her solicitor called to tell me that. Just to end the year on a sad note and start the new year on a better one. It was her wishes should she died before... the year was up."

Kenna sighs heavily, leaning her head on his shoulder. She hugs his arm and kisses his hand, cupping it in both of her hands comfortingly.

"I'll come with you," she promises him. "Have you contacted Catherine and them lot?"

He shakes his head. "I was meant to," he tells her, pausing to take a draw from his shortening cigarette. "Louise is handling the other people she knew. My sisters didn't want me to handle too much... I don't know, I think they're protecting me."

"I'll be there for you when you call them," Kenna replies.

"Thank you," he says, kissing her head.

Kenna reaches into her pocket and retrieves a letter with _'Sébastien Laurent'_ written on it in feminine cursive letters. She smooths it out and hands it over to Bash, giving him an encouraging smile.

Bash feels as if his whole soul has left his body. Words from a dead woman lay in this letter and Bash stares at his mother's handwriting, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

What words were so important that his mother gave his wife to give him after she was gone?

"I-I can't," he whispers. "When did she...?"

"A few months ago," Kenna tells him. "Bash, I don't know what words are in that letter, but I know this... Your mother knew she didn't have enough time to be here with you to take you through it. If she had, she wouldn't have written this letter. Whatever it says, she loved you."

Bash turns to her. "She said she couldn't keep something from me any longer. She wanted me to know something, I had a right to know something..."

"Find out if you're ready."

"I don't know," Bash mumbles. "Could it be that Henry isn't really my father?" He asks lightly.

Kenna smiles wryly. "Well, let's not speculate that much. It's not like it won't be a blessing."

Bash laughs, a genuine laugh and kisses her lips. "God, I love you."

"Say it a-"

"I love you."

"Once more?"

"I. Love. You," he says against her lips. "Hold my hand?"

She takes hold of his hand and squeezes it. She watches as he stares at the letter. Then the letter is concealed in his coat and he gets up, pulling her up along with him.

"Do you hear that?" He asks her, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers find his shoulders.

"What?" She replies.

Bash smiles. "It's quiet. Serene... Like Heaven knows its gained an angel."

Kenna chuckles softly. "Was your mother really an angel?" She teases.

"Well, a semi-innocent angel at least," Bash says. He starts swaying them and they dance to the sound of nothing but peace.

Her head lays on his chest and he inhales her scent, closing his eyes. He could stay here forever, in her arms, in her presence. He's captivated by Kenna, something he would never have thought of being many, many years ago.

Why wasn't he like this in the beginning? Everything is simple with her, peaceful and it just _flows_ and works. She isn't complicated, she's comfortable. But a different comfortable. This comfortable is like coming home, like finding yourself again, like finding happiness.

"Merry Christmas, Maman," he whispers, looking to the sky. "I love you."

...

New Year's Eve comes quicker than expected.

Many people are here and Bash watches from his bedroom window. He sees them converse, shake hands and express condolences with his sisters who dress as if they're widows as opposed to daughters.

The black dresses, black scarfs, black netted hats that cover the grieving red-stained eyes... Even Louise wears black lipstick with waterproof mascara.

"Everyone's wondering where you are," he hears his wife tell him as she enters the room. "Lachlan has kindly offered to look after the children. He's got them watching films in the theatre room."

"It's more real than before," he finally says, his voice hoarse. He sighs and turns around, facing Kenna. "You look nice."

Kenna gives him a look, a faint blush on her cheeks. She's wearing nothing special, a black bodycon dress, a black blazer and a pair of black courts. It's her most simple outfit, something she found in the wardrobe that she hadn't brought along with her to England.

"Are you going to stand there all day or come downstairs and welcome everyone?" She asks.

Bash clears his throat, walking over to the bed to collect his suit jacket. "I'm coming."

Kenna walks over to him and helps him put his jacket on before fixing his collar and tie. She stands back when he fixes his cufflinks on and when he's done, she brushes away lint from his shoulders and gives him a small smile.

"Everything will be okay," she says firmly. "Repeat that for me."

"Everything will be okay," he repeats, kissing her softly. "Let's face the music."

As he walks past, he shakes people's hands and accepts hugs. His uncle stands by the casket and he walks over to him, placing a hand on his back.

"Neveu," his uncle greets.

"Oncle Constantin."

"It's been a while," the man says in English, sighing heavily. "How is England?"

Bash looks down. "It's fine. How are Bertie and Jojo?"

His uncle smiles at the mention of his beloved dogs. "Missing their dogsitter," he says. "Your mother was a good woman. She did her best, Sébastien, I hope you know that."

"I know that."

"Your eldest sister tells me you will do a eulogy."

Bash nods in confirmation. "I will."

"Are you prepared?"

"We will see," Bash says, sniffling. "I-I've been going over it a lot. I haven't broken down yet."

His uncle chuckles sadly, turning to him and opening his arms. Bash steps into them and pats the old man's back fondly. His uncle had always been more of a father to him than Henry or even Louis had been. He knew he could always count on the man.

"Where's that lovely wife of yours? Still giving her grief after all of these years?"

Bash smiles. "She's around. I'll have you know, we're good. Better than we have been in a long time, Oncle."

"That's good. Right, you go along. I need a few minutes with Diane..." His uncle tells him.

Bash backs away, his eyes trained on the shiny, black casket with the silver handles. Exactly what his mother requested because anything she wanted, she got and he adored her.

"Bash?"

He turns and sees Francis, bringing his brother in for a tight hug. "Did we hug when Dad died?" He asks the blonde.

"If I recall, we weren't even in the same country," Francis replies, kissing his cheek. "Stay strong, brother."

"I'm trying to."

Francis hugs him a little bit tighter. "If you need me, you know where I am."

They pull apart and Bash finally joins Kenna who is talking with her family. They all give him comforting glances and he nods, accepting them as he whispers into Kenna's ear.

She looks back at him. "Are you sure?"

"I am."

"Okay," she says softly. "Right, let's get this started."

The funeral takes place in the chapel down the road and the session is long and tiresome, but Bash maintains his tough composure, gripping onto Kenna's hand tightly. By the time Louise steps down the stairs and places a hand on his shoulder, Bash almost loses it.

She's just given a sweet story and prayer and the memory is vivid in Bash's mind. The last holiday he and his sisters took with their mother when they were kids before Louis took the girls away.

"Her son, Sébastien, would like to say a few words," the Priest announces.

Bash gets up, his hand still gripped tightly by Kenna. They go up the steps and he lets go of her hand to retrieve the piece of paper he wrote his eulogy on. He takes a shaky breath and looks towards Kenna for guidance.

Patiently, she rubs circles on his back and he looks back down at the paper. She'll stand there for however long he needs her to.

"Bonjour," he starts, almost above a whisper. "I'm Sébastien. That is what my mother called me, but over the years, I made it more _English_, I guess. But whenever she called me like that, I knew I was in trouble even before she got to my middle name."

Everyone chuckles lightly and he gives Kenna a small smile, his wife returning the favour.

"My mother was born and raised in France. Paris, specifically and she was the daughter of a jewellery maker, Jean de Poitiers and his wife, Jeanne Anastasia de Bartarnay. She was also the sister of Constantin Poitiers, her beloved brother," Bash starts, eyeing his uncle. "Diane was a wonderful woman and she was loved. Loved by her daughters and son and her two grandchildren... From a young age, she learnt how to live life to its fullest and she left this world, knowing that she would have no more regrets..."

His throat closes up and he closes his eyes, taking a moment. He's surprised when he hears Kenna take over.

She clears her throat. "Diane looked after her children and did everything to make sure that they were well cared for. It was always her children before her and even after she had grandchildren, she always put herself after because she was selfless. She helped Bash find himself, find the goodness in his heart and even find love in his wife..." She gasps softly, trying to stop tears from falling down her cheeks. "Even find love in his wife, Mckenna. Diane was the original bohemian girl in Bash's life and she loved the outdoors. She loved horseriding despite her mother's disdain for the sport. She enjoyed swimming in the lake and exploring. Her love for the natural earth made its way into her son's heart and she encouraged his excitement for the outdoor world. She wasn't perfect, but she was a wonderful, caring person..."

Bash squeezes her hand, letting her know that he's got this. His written eulogy has stopped, but he knows the rest from his heart and he gives Kenna a nod to which she squeezes his hand in reply.

He tells everyone a story. The story of how he fell off his beloved horse, Luna and was comforted throughout the night as his horse was treated for a broken ankle. The accident had come after one of his horseriding competitions and he was heartbroken, having only won a measly silver.

...

_Bash - Aged 17_

"Bash, calm down, darling," Diane called out to him, hurrying to follow him.

"I tried, Maman! I tried to win, but I couldn't and Dad was watching. He watched me _fail_."

Diane gripped his shoulders tightly. "You didn't fail. Bash, you can never fail unless you let yourself fail!"

Bash shrugged himself out of her grip and walked on, going over to collect Luna from the stableboy. He brushed her neck and sighed heavily, turning to his mother.

"I need some time," he told her.

"Silver is better than nothing."

"Gold is better than silver, Mother!" Bash snapped. "I _know_ I can win, but-"

"There will always be younger, fitter and more determined riders coming to take your thunder. You can't always win, my son," Diane told him.

Annoyed, Bash got onto his horse and rode away. He couldn't stand how blasé she was about his loss. He knew his father would expect more, he wasn't even expecting the man to come and watch him race. He'd never come for the ones before.

In his rage, he didn't even realise the fallen tree before them and soon he was flying in the air and his horse neighed loudly. Two thumps, his and Luna's, and one crack were heard and he breathed heavily, getting up to see blood on his shirt from a cut on his arm and another on his forehead.

Shakily, he went to Luna and knelt by her, the horse in obvious distress.

"I'm sorry, Luna," he whispered, brushing her mane. "I'm so sorry."

Hours later, he paced his room as his mother sat on his bed. She was patient with him, listening to him as he sobbed and worried over his prized possession. The only thing that brought him childlike joy.

"What if she can never race, Maman?" He asked, fearfully.

"I can always get you a new-"

"I don't want a new horse, I want Luna!" He told her. "Meme got her for me and if I lose her... I'll lose Meme Ana _forever_."

His mother got up and brought him to her chest, hugging him tightly. "Oh, my precious boy... I can only assure you that Luna will be alright. She will get through this. And your Meme will always live in your heart."

"How do you know that?" He croaked.

"I know that because I have hope. Not only that, her rider is the most loving, kind-hearted boy I know and he cares a lot about her," his mother replied easily. "Luna will survive because you are a _fighter_. That and Meme Ana is watching from above."

...

_Present Day_

"...I didn't believe her, but she was right. My horse was down for two months, but our first race since her injury, we won gold," Bash reveals. "My mother has always been my number one supporter and without her, I don't know where I'd be."

He finishes up and when he's done, he goes back down the stairs and sits down, his wife joining him beside him. A few more hymns and prayers are sung and said and it's over.

Diane is buried six feet under and flowers are thrown onto the top of the casket... Her grave is beside her late parents, and her daughters are sobbing as her son struggles to keep his own down.

"Goodbye, Maman," Bash whispers, tears falling down his cheeks.

As everyone attends the wake, Bash joins his sisters at the will reading. By tomorrow night, he'll be back in England and he'll move on and get on with his life.

Kenna joins them, having been called as she was in the will much to Diane's children's surprise as well as Kenna's. She hadn't expected anything, she was only her daughter-in-law.

She takes Bash's hand and he kisses her cheek. She takes note that Niko isn't here and she is sure that her husband and his sisters are relieved at the lack of presence.

The lawyer speaks in French. He explains that the estate is Bash's and Louise will live there, mostly things they already knew. Kenna also gains some of Diane's jewellery from her adolescence. Mostly bohemian things, Louise nor Françoise liked in the first place and she's grateful.

Then he gets onto the subject of the letters and requests that they each read it as soon as possible.

Bash sighs, taking his from his pocket. "Is it the same for my sisters?"

"Oui," the lawyer responds.

Bash nods, opening the envelope and retrieving the letter. "Alright."

He scans the letter and everyone watches his expressions intently. His eyes widen and fall, his brows furrow and his lip twitch, set and he bites his bottom lip when he reaches the end of the letter.

"Well?" Louise asks.

"W-We have... we have an older half-brother," Bash breathes out in shock, bowing his head.

"Mon Dieu!" Françoise gasps out, pressing a hand to her chest as Louise shakes her head in disbelief.

Bash swallows deeply. "S-She wanted us to... to find him and try and..." He struggles, biting back a sob. "She wanted us to get to know him. T-The story is all on here, how she met his father, how she got pregnant at fourteen... I can't."

He stands, throwing the letter onto the table and leaves. Kenna follows him, slipping by people flawlessly, barely bumping into them as her husband just tries to find the nearest bathroom.

He forces the door open to one and she enters, closing the door and locking it behind them just as he vomits into the toilet. She closes her eyes and leans against the door as he empties his stomach, gripping onto the toilet as if his life depends on it.

"Why?" He asks, heartbroken. "W-Why did she...?"

Kenna sighs, blinking away tears. "I-I-I don't... I don't know, Bash. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

So she doesn't say anything more and they remain as they are. In silence.


	31. Chapter 31

**ATEOTB will be updated soon! Probably tomorrow due to reworking. Enjoy this for now if you read both :)**

* * *

"We should give them some space," Kenna tells Francis and Mary as they start clearing up after the wake, slipping her hair behind her ears as she bends down to pick something up. "Urm, they were told something unexpected."

Francis sighs, eyeing the door the siblings were in. "Want to elaborate?"

"Francis," Mary tuts. "It's none of our business unless they make it so. You guys continue, I'll check on the children."

Mary heads upstairs as Kenna dumps some plastic plates and tissues into the black bin. She feels tired and she wishes that her New Year's Eve was spent differently. That Diane is alive and not buried sit feet under.

Kenna lets out a soft sigh, sitting down on a nearby seat. "I... I don't know what to do."

Francis turns to her before pulling over a seat next to her. "Me neither. How is your marriage going?"

Kenna gives him a look. "You said that you'll keep out of my marriage problems."

"So there _are_ problems?" He asks, alarmed.

Kenna smiles a little. "They are not, don't worry. It's actually going really well. Diane brought us closer, I guess. We haven't argued much. In fact, we've... we've made love an awful lot."

She blushes furiously. It's something she should tell her friends, not her brother-in-law. But by the smirk on his face, she relaxes and rolls her eyes. He's fine with the detail, it's his brother and they've always been blunt about sex.

"That's great," Francis replies. "You know what they say, things come in threes. A death, a birth, a wedding..."

"I can't get pregnant," Kenna tells him, rolling her eyes.

"Well, not necessarily a _birth_. A child, I guess or something. And your dad told me you are planning a honeymoon since you didn't get one after the wedding," Francis explains.

Kenna raises her eyebrows. "Aren't you superstitious?"

He chuckles. "Diane was superstitious and to be honest, my mother is too."

"Interesting," Kenna says.

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

Kenna nods. "Thanks, Francis. God, I feel so embarrassed now."

"Why?"

"Remember when I tried to..." She gestures between them. "You're a great person, and I'm so happy that you and Mary are happy and healthy. Thanks for not telling her about that, I still feel so awful."

"Don't be," Francis replies, waving it off. "I actually need your help."

She eagerly nods. "Anything."

"I was planning on giving Mary a baby shower. She's been so tired and stressed out about being pregnant, she needs a break. Especially with Jim being away from the company all the time and everything going on at work..."

"Say no more!" Kenna replies, grinning. "We do need some light after everything. Diane wouldn't have wanted us to be sad for too long. Might even plan one for Lola and make them share. I'm sure they wouldn't mind, not with me planning it. Two birds, one stone."

"That's a wonderful idea," he says, nodding. "Wow, the mothers of my sons sharing a baby shower."

Kenna giggles, shaking her head. "Well, it saves time and money. Come on, let's finish tidying up. I'm taking Bash out before we do the countdown."

After cleaning up, Kenna gets Bash from the office and leads him to the car, unlocking it and getting inside. She sees Bash get in, slamming the door and putting his seatbelt on.

He leans his head back on the headrest and sighs, reaching over to grab her hand. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere," she says softly, squeezing his hand before placing both hands on the steering wheel. "You need to just slow down and... I'll help you.

...

"Deauville Beach?" Bash asks when they arrive.

Kenna shuts the engine off and nods, turning to him. "Remember coming here with Adrien when he was little?"

"To take those stupidly cute family pictures? Yeah," he replies lightly. "I used to go here all the time with Francis, Charles and Henri."

Kenna bites her lip, undoing her seatbelt and getting out of the car. She smooths her dress down and slips out of her heels, throwing them into the car before heading towards the sand.

The second her feet feel the sand beneath them, she relaxes and closes her eyes. She inhales the smell of water and she smiles. Continuing on, she walks and walks until she stops short of the serene waters.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" She asks her husband when she feels his presence beside her.

"It's beautiful," he agrees.

There are not that many people here. They arrived shortly after six, the sky already dark and the weather chilly.

He sighs. "I don't know what I'll do."

"Same here," Kenna replies. "Well, I know what I'll do. I'll support you, however, we don't truly know where life takes us."

"I hate not knowing."

"I let things be," his wife says. "The unknown is interesting,"

"Is that right?"

She nods. "Do you want to swim?"

Bash looks around. When he's sure that they were somewhat alone, he begins to undress much to her surprise. He sends her a wink, making her blush furiously when he undoes his belt.

"Come on then, wife."

Kenna giggles, taking her blazer off and folding it before placing it on the ground. She reaches behind her back to pull her zip down before pushing the dress off her shoulders and down her hips.

She steps out of it, leaving it neatly laid on top of her blazer beside her husband's clothes.

"I didn't realise you wore matching underwear. Black, very fitting," Bash states, walking backwards into the water.

Kenna shakes her head, amused. "It's called _taste_. Although, I _always_ match my underwear."

She wades slowly into the water, stopping when it reaches her waist. The water is freezing cold and she gasps when she feels some spray at her.

"Sebastian!"

"You're too slow for my liking!" He calls out, swimming backwards.

Kenna laughs loudly. "Slow?" She asks him, swimming out to meet him.

When she reaches him, she splashes him back and he retaliates by bringing her into his arms. He leans in for a kiss before dunking her into the water for a few seconds.

She emerges, hits him on the shoulder and wipes her face off.

"You're so rude!" Kenna tells him as he steadies her with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. "You're so lucky..."

"Why?"

She stares into his eyes, feeling the warmth of his hands on her skin despite the cold water over them. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight and she feels lost for words.

Her hands go to rest on his shoulders as she says, "Do you remember how much I hate the water?"

"I never understood why," Bash replies. "You seem right at home."

She gives him a small smile. Her mind suddenly drifts into unsteady thoughts. "Do you ever feel like life's not worth living?"

Kenna mentally curses when she sees his eyebrows crease in concern. They have a life, a house, money, clothes, cars, _children_. Why the hell are these thoughts in her mind now?

"What do you mean?" Bash asks quietly.

She searches his grief-filled eyes. "That there's no such thing as happiness?"

Bash freezes. He knows exactly what she means and he feels that way now. Now that the only constant person in his life is gone. He suddenly lost his beloved mother, the one who was a huge part of his life and there is nothing he can do except willingly accept that she's dead and gone. That he'll never hear her voice or feel her hugs or see her eyes or smell her perfume...

Kenna's eyes water. "I'm sorry. I just... I loved Diane and she was there for me, you know? She was your mother, but she was there for me too. With Adi, with the miscarriage and my depression... I'm sorry, I'm meant to be comforting you and-"

She's silenced by his lips meetings hers and she wraps her arms around his neck, responding to the kiss. She feels his hands move lower and she wraps her legs around his waist, bringing him closer.

He pulls away first. "Kenna, we've been through a lot. We're still figuring shit out and dealing with our demons. You've got my back and I've got yours, Beautiful."

He slips her wet hair away from her eyes, slipping it behind her ear as he kisses her again, deepening the kiss. His tongue melts at the touch of his wife's tongue and he uses his other hand to bring her even closer as if the distance between them was too big for comfort.

Bash feels stupid. He's regretted a lot of things and mistreating Kenna is one of them. If he knew that she'd be by his side no matter what, he would never have done the things he did during their first marriage. Their second marriage is a new start, but he finds himself making up for the first one anyway. He has to, he _needs_ to, he _wants_ to and he has perfection right in his arms.

She is his, no one else's and he's hers. He hates how his father believed that women belonged to men, leading him to take such a horrible idea into his own relationships. Now, he realises that no one owns each other, they simply want and need the other person.

Kenna doesn't belong to him, but she is loyal to him. He'll follow her, he'll kneel for her, he'll worship her, he'll protect her, he'll love her, he will do anything _for her_.

His mother was very firm about that, about him treating his wife fairly. She's his queen, the mother of his children, his life. Diane may not have led a sinless life, but she sure knew how to give advice from her own mistakes.

"I'm scared too, Kenna," he whispers, searching her wet eyes. "But I know that I can face anything if you're by my side. So, will you stay by my side?"

She quickly nods. "I will. Always."

"Okay," he shakily breathes out, his heart loud in his ears. "You've told me about the times you... you tried to hurt yourself or you did hurt yourself."

Kenna's eyes widen. "Yeah."

"Well, I only told you that I... But I never told you _how_."

Tears slip down Kenna's cheeks. "Bash, y-you don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

"You're my wife and I _am_ ready to tell you about my past," Bash replies, wiping her tears away as his own sting his eyes. "I think it's fate or something, but my mother's death... Well, she's brought out a lot of things I need to stop bottling up. Especially learning that I have a brother out there... I need to talk, Kenna otherwise I'd burst."

"Yeah?"

He nods. "Yeah," he whispers, his throat closing up. "Shall we get back in the car first and get warm?"

It's darker, she notices. She turns back to him and nods, planting one more kiss on his lips before they swim back to shore. She collects their clothes and offers him her hand.

Bash takes it, kisses it and together, they walk back to the car.

...

_Bash - Aged 21_

"Bash, think this through, _please_," Francis begged, offering his hand. "We can deal with this together. You're my brother, just get down from there."

Bash shook his head. "I'm done, Francis. Nothing matters anymore-"

"It does!"

"It doesn't," Bash replied, sitting down on the edge. "You'll never understand..."

Francis took a step towards him. "Then help me understand." He peered over the edge, looking at the driveway of his home.

They were on the third storey, the fall quite long as the walls for each storey were really tall. If either of them fell, it would mean a long hospital stay and perhaps even death.

"Dad... He tells me that I'm his favourite, but..." Bash trailed off, closing his eyes as he let out a heavy sigh.

"He treats you like shit. Like you're expendable," Francis finished for him. "I know, Bash. I see things."

Bash turned to face him, stunned. "I feel like I'm trapped and I can't get away from him. I just want the pain to stop."

"Bash, _please_," Francis whispered. "I can help you, let me help you."

"Why do you care about me?"

Francis smiled softly. "As I said, you're my brother."

"_Half-brother_," Bash corrected him. "We only share one parent."

"Unfortunately," Francis said lightly. "It isn't the one we both favour. Our mothers."

Bash rolled his eyes. "He has all of you, yet he picks on me. Why?"

"I wish I knew. Because you're his eldest probably," Francis suggested. "Because you're strong and you're smart. He's probably jealous of you."

"Jealous of _me_?"

Francis looked down. "I-"

Bash pulled his collar down, showing Francis a six-centimetre long scar. "So jealous he thinks marking my body with burns and cuts is _okay_? You ask why I don't fight back, it's because he's my father. I wouldn't be here if not for him."

"Look, we all know that the only person who's his favourite, is himself," Francis said. "Dad is not important, _we_ are and no matter what, I've got your back."

"It's not enough."

"I know that," Francis said, nervously. "I can't protect you as much as I'd like to, but I promise you something. One day, he'll fall and we will rise. We'll probably get married and have kids, we'll show them that we're better. That we're not like _him_."

Bash swallowed deeply, looking at the ground below. It was daunting, but he'd been willing to make that fall. Make everything go dark, beyond repair or comeback.

"Do you ever feel like life's not worth living anymore?" He quietly asked his younger brother. "Like happiness doesn't exist? I'm sure as hell it doesn't exist for me."

"When are you at your happiest?" Francis retorted, tears stinging his eyes.

Bash closed his eyes. "Spending time with my grandmother."

"Meme Ana was the best," Francis replied. "She wasn't even my grandmother but she treated me equal to you." He sniffled. "Anything else?"

"Luna."

Francis grinned. "I think you love that horse more than me."

"Don't say that. At least she doesn't talk back," Bash replied lightly. He opened his eyes. "I just feel overwhelmed. Like there's nothing here for me. I feel stuck like nobody cares."

Francis blinked his tears away. "I care."

"Numb. I also feel numb," Bash continued, ignoring Francis. "Worthless. Empty-"

"Bash," Francis cut him off, forcing him to look into his eyes. "You are _not_ worthless and people do care. Let's go inside, it's getting cold and I'm sure Dad has some stupid expensive alcohol we can waste somewhere."

The blonde winced when he felt something wet his cheek. He looked up and saw that it had begun to rain heavily, his hair and clothes quickly becoming soaked as he stood up, trying to protect his face somehow.

He got off the ledge and opened the window wider. He turned and offered Bash his help getting back inside. He gave his older brother a look when he wouldn't take his help and almost rolled his eyes.

"Come on. I'm here for you," he said, his hand still outstretched.

Bash sighed and got up, fixing his shirt. It's not like it mattered, he was now soaked anyway. He fully turned, about to take Francis's hand but he suddenly slipped.

"Bash!"

Bash reacted quickly, managing to grip onto the first storey's top window ledge. There wasn't much to grip but if he could kick the window open, he would be able to slide through.

But the window was decades old and smashing it open was _not_ an option.

"Just try and hold on! I'll open the window!" He heard Francis say from above him.

"Do you really think I'll let go?" He snapped.

Francis rolled his eyes. He wanted to say, "Well, you tried jumping off the bloody roof moments earlier!", but he said, "I'll be down in a second." instead.

The rain continued to pelt down on his fingers and he felt himself slipping. The fall was definitely shorter than it was from the very top of the house, but it was still quite a distance.

He wished Francis would hurry up. He was starting to get scared and he didn't want to do this anymore. It was karma, right? The universe was trying to make the thing he didn't want to do anymore happen.

When Francis hadn't arrived yet, he felt weaker. If not for the rain he would have held on, but now he didn't care and simply let go. His fingers ached as he fell and he landed on the gravel below, curling up into a ball.

"Fuck," he muttered, digging his head into the uneven ground.

Bash let out a wince, sitting up as the window opened above him. He was certain his arm was broken and he looked up, sending Francis a glare he was sure he couldn't even see anyway.

"Bash! Wait there, I'll come down."

Bash didn't bother waiting, taking his car keys out of his pocket and unlocking his door. He clutched his left arm to his chest, letting out a pain-filled groan as he got into his car and closed the door.

He started the engine and used his good arm to manoeuvre his car. He blindly searched for his phone as he drove out of the estate, using his knees to steer the wheel. It took him a while to realise that his phone was back at the house.

It didn't matter, he'll get it later.

Or get a new one.

He eventually ended up at Deauville Beach, parking his car and closing his eyes. He was partly broken now, maybe he should do everyone a favour and finish what he inadvertently started. It had been his starting goal for the day, ending everything.

Bash got out of his car, the rain still pouring heavily. He closed the door and headed to the beach, walking until he reached the ocean. It was cold and empty and he felt like an ant in the middle of nowhere.

He sat down, bowing his head into his knees. He was in pain, a lot of pain, but none of that mattered because the pain would stop soon and he would be able to move on and be relieved of everything.

The rain continued on, even when he got up ten minutes later. There was no one holding him back now, and he felt liberated and free. So free that Bash began to walk deeper into the water.

His body froze in shock from the cold but he kept going, closing his eyes until he was submerged fully in the water. He could feel himself float and he held his breath, his mother's face imprinted in his head. She didn't have to worry any longer.

It was better this way.

_One Hour Later_

Bash frowned, hearing annoying beeps in his ears. He groaned, opening his eyes slowly to the brightness of lights in his eyes. He clamped them shut again, cursing when he realised that he was in a hospital.

"You're awake."

"How did you find me?" He croaked out, blinking the blurriness away as he turned to Francis.

Francis looked away. "Dad had a tracker installed in your car. I got into his laptop and well, tracked you down."

"Figures," Bash mumbled, looking down to see that his arm was in a cast. "How bad?"

"You broke it in three places. Well, you have a hairline fracture in your wrist," Francis informed him. "You'll need to keep the pressure off it for a good few months or more. They had to do surgery on it."

"Why the fuck does he have a tracker in my car?" Bash asked, moving the topic along.

Francis shrugged, leaning back in his seat. "I don't know."

"Why did you pull me out?"

"Why do you even need to ask?" Francis retorted. "I pulled you out and saved your life because you're my brother. You'll always be my brother no matter how many times we argue or fight for a man's attention that isn't worth having in the first place."

Bash covered his face with his good arm, shaking his head. "Francis, you really don't get it."

"Bash...-"

"I'm not happy, Francis, and I've never been happy!"

"Okay, fair enough," Francis replied. "Do you want to talk to a therapist-"

"No."

Francis sighed. "Do you want to talk to me?"

"No."

"Then _how_ can I help you, Bash?! Tell me how to help you. Tell me what you want-"

"I want to die!" Bash snapped at him.

"No, you don't!" Francis cried out.

"You don't know what I want!"

Francis stood up, pacing the room. He wanted to scream some sense into his brother, but he knew that he should be patient and kind. This was his brother, and he loved him and cared about him. It had always been him and Bash, the united front to protect their family.

"When did you give up?" Francis asked quietly, tears falling down his cheeks. "The Bash I know is stronger than this and would do _anything_ to protect himself, me and everyone else. When did I lose him?"

Bash scoffed. "God, Francis."

"It's true. When did you become a shell of who you were?" Francis retorted. "I love you, you know that and if you truly believe that no one cares about you then why am I wasting my breath?"

Bash's face fell and he turned to the blonde. "Francis..."

"I'm tired, Bash. It's the same thing over and over again, you need help or _something_..." He started for the door. "Your phone is on the table. I'm going to head home and tidy up before he suspects anything-"

"Francis, I'm sorry."

"I don't need an apology, Bash. I just need you to be okay so I can stop worrying," Francis replied. "I'll check on you tomorrow."

After he'd gone, Bash grabbed his phone from the table and turned it on. A few text messages from Francis from earlier as well as his mother are notified and he sighed heavily, reading them over before putting his phone on loud just in case.

He'd try. He'd try for Francis and his mother.

...

_Present Day_

"Why didn't you tell me that you tried to drown here?" Kenna asks, taking his hand.

"We made happier memories here, Kenna. Adrien's little trips to the beach, the second month after we got married the first time... _Today_ even," he replies. "After you asked me that question, it took me back to that day and I remember asking Francis the exact same thing."

Kenna wipes her tears and kisses his hand, closing her eyes. "I didn't mean to ask that question. Everything just got to me today and it just came out."

"Hey, hey," he says, cupping her cheek. "It's fine. We're fine." He swallows deeply. "I didn't believe in happiness back then, but now I do. You make me happy and so do our children and I love how you took me here to take my mind off things for a while. I don't show you how grateful I am sometimes and I really need to make it up to you because nothing I do is enough."

"Sebastian..."

"My mother said that I'd be forever in your debt. Well, amongst other words and I realise that now. I will never know the meaning of sorry, but I have a lifetime to make it up to you," he tells her. "Just be patient with me, please?"

Kenna nods. "I will. Thank you for telling me about what happened."

"Every scar tells a story," Bash says, gesturing to his body. "And when I'm ready to tell them, I'll tell you."

"We should get back," Kenna replies, placing a hand on his cheek.

She smiles when he turns his head so he kisses her palm softly, placing his own hand over hers. She loves him and she will always support him, whatever he is going through because he's her forever.

"Bash, I love you. You are loved. You are priceless and I care about you," she tells him firmly. "Never forget that."

"I love you, too. Thank you for choosing me. I don't deserve it-"

"Bash, you've found a lot of things difficult and I, most of all people, get that. It's not about deserving or not deserving, it's about love. I fell in love with you and that was it for me. You struggled and I know how it feels to be led by the darkness with no way out," she says, wiping tears from his cheeks. "Depression is serious, Bash and I felt exactly how you felt _a lot_ of times. You never need to protect me from that because I get it."

Bash nods, closing his eyes. "Are you happy, Kenna?"

Kenna pauses, placing her hand back in her lap. She looks ahead, watching as the moonlight hits the water and sparkles. It's serene and beautiful and peaceful and Kenna feels at peace and relaxed.

"Babe?" Bash calls her.

"I'm happy, Bash. I'm really, really happy and you make me so."

"Yeah?"

She chuckles softly. "Yes, Bash. And I'll be honest, the first time we were married, there were times that I was happy. Like stupid happy and it made me believe... believe that things were going to be fine. I know I shouldn't talk about our first marriage, but we did have good times."

"We did, didn't we?" He replies, giving her a smile. "Like Twister sex..."

"Oh, God!" Kenna cries out, giggling. "We haven't done that in ages."

"Do we even still have that?"

She nods. "At the apartment, buried deep into my wardrobe in case anyone sees it and wants to play. If only they knew what we used it for."

Bash smirks proudly. "I always won."

"I think not!"

"The only reason you think not is that you always distracted me," he states. "You're too alluring."

"I'm glad you think so," his wife replies, checking the time. "We ought to go. It's going to be ten by the time we get there and I'm missing the kids."

Bash nods, kissing her lips. "Want me to drive?"

"If you don't mind."

"I don't. Come on, you get to the backseats and I'll go over. It's freezing outside and I'm not willing to catch a cold," he replies.

Once they are on the road, Kenna stares out the window. The radio is on low and there is a comfortable silence between them. Kenna wonders how their son is doing, he hadn't taken well to learning of Diane's death two days after it happened.

Kenna thinks back to how Bash simply occupied himself with their children on Christmas Day, refusing to acknowledge what had happened as he did his best to give his children the attention they needed after he was gone from home. After on Boxing Day, he'd told Adrien and the boy was in tears, refusing to play or eat until he saw his Meme.

It breaks her heart, seeing her husband and son in so much pain, but Kenna knew that it was coming. Diane had accepted it and they all have to as well. They'll work this out as a family and move on.

"I-Is there a time you..." Kenna sighs, rubbing her face. "You believed that you could love me when were married the first time?"

Bash turns to her in surprise. "I don't remember."

Kenna's eyebrows crease and she nods. "Okay," she mumbles, turning the volume higher on the radio.

_Okay_, she thinks. _That's not a 'no'._

Bash sighs, placing a hand on her knee. When she doesn't remove it, he relaxes. Of course, there were times he believed he could love her. She was everything and more and manipulating her to stay by his side was not the right thing to do.

But one memory sticks in his mind and he's always held on to that. They were staying in Fontainbleau with Henry as Catherine went on holiday with the children and Bash had been feeling low.

He grips onto the steering wheel tighter as his other hand takes Kenna's own.

...

_Six Years Ago_

"I don't feel comfortable," Kenna said, fixing her hair. "Being here."

Bash sighed, eyeing the window. "I know. It's only for two days."

Kenna let out a groan, struggling to turn around on the seat to face him. "Why couldn't we stay at a hotel or something? Your father will keep trying to indoctrinate us with all this bullshit about parenting. He's not the best father in the world..."

"I know, Kenna," Bash replied, turning away from the window. "It's been years since I've been here."

"What do you mean?"

He frowned slightly. "Nevermind."

"Urgh, and the fact he requested that we take the room at the very top. I am six months pregnant and he wants me to go up all of those stairs? He's mad!"

Bash chuckled, planting a kiss on the top of her head. "Babe, it's exercise. Weren't you complaining about the weight you've gained?"

Kenna scowled. "Doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer a groundfloor bedroom. Anyway, whose bedroom did this belong to? It's semi-decent."

"It was mine. Well, mine whenever I stayed," her husband said, turning to the window. "Francis and I would drown our sorrows out the window on the ledge. I fell from there once and broke my arm in three places. We were drunk and it was raining..."

He was lying, but he couldn't confess that he'd tried to take his life. Not to his perfect wife whose biggest problem was probably breaking a nail. She could never understand the shit he went through, she grew up in a happy, loving environment and he swore that his child will grow up in that environment too. Not dark and evil and painful like his.

"Are those the scars on your left arm?" Kenna asked in surprise, pulling his arm to her so she could inspect it.

He nodded. "I had surgery done."

"Oh, babe..." She cooed, getting up to kiss him and his scars. "They make you sexier."

He laughed, shaking his head. "You're lying."

"No, honestly," she replied, shrugging innocently. "I've always wanted a man who had stories to tell." She backed away, heading towards the bathroom. "Give me a minute. My bladder is a rushing tap again."

When the door closed behind her, Bash walked over to the window again and opened it. The weather was nice, a bright April. It was one of his half-sisters' birthday earlier in the month and it had rained then. Now, it was warm and bright and Bash couldn't help but think about that day.

That day many years ago when he had the intentions to die.

Curiously, he opened the window. The window latch was stiff but he managed to wriggle it through and open both sides wide outwards. After that incident, he stayed at a private apartment of his father's whenever he came to visit.

Bash went through the window and sat down on the ledge. He looked down at the same drop he'd made years earlier and he took a shaky breath.

Everything was complicated now. He hadn't expected Kenna to get pregnant quickly. He wasn't ready, but she gave him an ultimatum and he had to accept that he was going to be a father by June. With what his father had him doing, he felt ashamed. He didn't want to have a child believing their father wasn't what they expected.

He wasn't fit to be a father, he didn't even know the first thing about being a dad. His own father wasn't the most attentive or the best, he hurt him and now, as damaged as he was, he created life.

Kenna was better off doing this alone or with someone else. She couldn't count on him to be a good father for their child. She believed they were having a son and he'd put off doing the nursery and picking out names.

Anything to do with their impending arrival, he'd run away from it. In doing so, he became clingy. She was all he wanted in his bed, her touches he craved. He was trying to make up for being a shitty father in the future by making her feel loved even if he didn't love her.

_Love_ her.

Did he even love their child?

He knew she adored their baby even though they never laid eyes on them yet, but he didn't know how he felt. Indifferent, perhaps? Scared, unsure? This was his flesh and blood and he was terrified.

Did he want their child?

"Bash!"

He turned around quickly, seeing his wife hurry towards him. "K-Kenna-"

"What are you doing up there?"

"What are you wearing?" He asked instead, quickly getting back inside to stop her from coming through. He twirled her around, inspecting the red lace lingerie nightie she was wearing that was tight around her bump.

Kenna blushed furiously. "I just wanted to spice things up a bit. Henry won't be back until tomorrow night so we have the house all to ourselves..." She placed her hands on his chest, her wedding ring sparkling in the sunlight. "You look upset and I can tell that you really didn't want to come here today. I don't know why, but whatever it is... I'm here."

Bash cupped her cheeks in disbelief. She read him perfectly and he didn't even need to say anything.

"I want to cheer you up, Bash," she continued. "I know this pregnancy was a shock for both of us and I'm scared too, but I've got your back if you've got mine."

"I love you," he quickly said. His eyes widened when he realised that it was genuine and it came out of nowhere. He rarely genuinely told her that he loved her, but she didn't even need the whole story to be by his side.

Kenna smiled. "Oh, Bash, I love you too," she replied, kissing him deeply.

As his lips moulded with hers, he truly believed he could fall deeply in love with her. She was carrying his child and she was loyal to him. She cared and looked after him and he threw it back in her face. He was a shitty husband and now, a shitty father even though his child wasn't here yet.

Kenna pulled away. "Babe, you're crying."

He didn't even realise that tears were slipping down his cheeks and he let go of her, wiping them off. "I-I don't even..." He sighed, shaking his head.

Kenna placed a hand on her cheek, brushing off one more wet patch away. She wanted to ask if it was something deeper, but instead, she said, "You're a sympathetic crier."

"How? You're not crying," he croaked out.

She sniffled, tears starting to run down her cheeks. "Now I am. I can't stop crying because my hormones are all over and... I'm giving you an excuse, so use it."

He began to laugh, digging his face into her shoulder as she rubbed his back in circles. He smiled against her skin, closing his eyes as he hugged her a tight as he could without putting pressure on their unborn child.

"Want to do it in Henry's bedroom?" She whispered huskily in his ear.

"If you look at that..." Bash said, leaning back to look at her. "And you said I was brazen."

Kenna laughed, hitting his chest before walking back towards the door. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

...

_Present Day_

When they get back, Bash turns to his wife and smiles. "Yes."

"What?" Kenna asks, confused.

"There was a time I believed that I could love you," he admits. "Many times actually."

"W-What?"

He nods. "Yeah. Kenna, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Honestly," she replies. "We ought to get inside. The traffic was terrible and..." She checks her watch, her eyes widening. "Shit, it's quarter to twelve."

They quickly get out of the car and head inside, straight into the informal living room where everyone waits, watching the TV. Adrien spots them first and gets up, running into Bash's arms.

"It's going to be a new year in less than fifteen minutes, Papa," Adrien tells him. "Uncle Francis said I need to make a resolution."

Kenna smirks. "Is that right, baby?"

"Yeah."

Bash chuckles, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Want to let us in on your resolution?"

"Nuh-uh," Adrien replies. "I don't know it yet."

"That's alright," Kenna says, leaving their side to collect Perrine from Mary. She gives the brunette a wide smile. "How do you feel about having a baby shower next month with Lola?"

Mary smiles a little. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Of course, I can," Kenna tells her. "You're my best friends and I've got Greer to help me as well as your husbands. I texted Stephane earlier to see if Lola might want one."

"You didn't get any," Mary replies.

"Doesn't mean my friends shouldn't," Kenna says, shrugging. "Can we talk after? I need to tell you something."

Mary gives her a nod. "Yeah, of course. I love you, Kenna and Happy Almost New Year."

Kenna beams. "Happy Almost New Year, Mary. I love you, too," she replies, taking her hand.

...

When the last second of the year ticks by, Kenna kisses Bash and then plants two kisses on her children's heads. After she wishes everyone a Happy New Year, she and Mary head upstairs to her and Bash's bedroom.

"Haven't been here in _years_," Mary says thoughtfully, walking around the four-post bed. "It's just as I remember it."

Kenna smiles softly. "My memories in this room are both good and bad," she tells her. "You know the lamp on the bedside table?"

Mary turns to the lamp. "Yeah, what about it?"

"The amount of times I've smashed that lamp just so Bash could see things _my_ way," Kenna says. "It's been replaced, I don't know, three? Maybe four times?"

Mary lets out a shocked gasp, taking a seat on the bed. "Did you guys ever get... you know, _violent_?"

Kenna nervously pulls her sleeve down, heading over to sit beside her. "Well, not per _se_."

"What does that mean?"

"Mary, I didn't come up here to talk-"

"You're changing the subject-"

"No, you are. I came here to tell you something and we're talking about another thing," Kenna says. "Anyway-"

"Kenna, tell _me_."

Kenna groans, sighing as she bows her head. "Fine," she relents. "We threw stuff at each other, mostly me because Bash was afraid I'd pick one of Meme Ana's vases or trinkets. That's about it."

"Kenna, when you first came to England after he kicked you out, I noticed that you had a black eye-"

"Mary, Bash is _not_ violent with me. Why are you-"

"You're the one who told me about the whole vase thing!"

Kenna closes her eyes. "Just as a trip down memory lane, okay?"

"Tell me the truth," Mary presses her. "Did he hurt you?"

"I guess if I'm going to tell you what I intended to say in the first place, I'll need to start from that," Kenna says quietly. "Yes, Bash was the cause of my injury, but he didn't do it on purpose. We got into an argument and I was full-on. I grabbed onto him and he elbowed me by accident. It's never happened nor has it ever happened after. I threw shit and got frustrated, but he never hurt me."

Mary looks down, taking it all in. "And your bruise on your back?"

"I feel like no one believes me when I say-"

"I know the kind of person Bash is, but I was concerned. I don't deserve the full story, but I want you to be safe nonetheless," Mary tells her. "I feel like I owe it to you."

"You don't owe me anything nor do you have to make up for anything," Kenna replies. "It's fine. Bash never hurt me on purpose and that's the truth."

Mary nods. "Okay."

"Anyway, fast forward Valentine's Day and I got drunk and tried to kiss Francis," Kenna confesses. "It was a stupid mistake and I was hurt. I never meant to-"

"Did you kiss him?"

Kenna shakes her head. "No, I swear-"

"Then it's nothing to be ashamed of," Mary says, laughing. "Is that why you were so scared? You _tried_ to kiss my husband after yours left you, it's understandable. If you hadn't been dumped and forced to relocate to another country, I'd be mad."

"You're not... mad?"

"Francis told me that night and he made me swear I wouldn't let you know that I knew," Mary admits. "He said that along with a few other irrelevant things now. That you were drinking and you were taking sleeping pills... He was concerned and so was I, we both thought you'd do something stupid so your actions were spoken for."

Kenna bursts into tears, relief and grief flowing through her. "I haven't even told Bash about it. I did a lot of stupid things back then, Mary, and I'm not that person anymore."

Mary tuts, bringing Kenna into her chest. "I know, honey."

"Don't hate me."

"Of course, I don't, you idiot," Mary says lightly. "You're my best friend and you will never make me mad."

Kenna wraps her arms around Mary's waist. "Thank you, Mary."

"You're welcome, Kenna. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year..."

...

"We've not even slept," Bash states, four hours later, as he and Kenna lay on their bed.

Kenna's finger trails the scars on his bare chest and she smiles a little. "I don't feel tired."

"Neither do I," her husband admits, rubbing her shoulder. "I don't think I _can_ sleep."

Kenna rests her chin on his breastbone, looking up to see his eyes. "What did you, Louise and Frankie decide?"

"My sisters want nothing to do with him, but I'm curious. I don't know, maybe I should do as they say and leave things be-"

"If this is about him getting what's rightfully his then, they are selfish," Kenna interrupts him. "Does he even know you all exist or...?"

Bash shrugs. "I have no idea. I'm going to sort that out later and get someone on his case, but I don't know if I should initiate contact or not."

"Well, you have all the time in the world to come to a decision," she tells him. "Don't let your sisters take control, _you_ are in control."

He kisses the top of her head and strokes her back. He'll never tire of her, her body draws him to her like a moth to light. He's insatiable and she plagues his mind every second, every minute and every hour. The desire to touch her or be near her drives him insane. In the good, way though.

"I'm in control," he whispers, sighing.

Kenna nods, shifting so she hovers above him. Slowly, she places a kiss on the scar on his collarbone. From there, she works downwards, even kissing the scars from his broken arm injury and the recent one from the horse race. She moves onto his tattoo where another scar lays under the dark lettering, hidden.

"I know you don't believe me," she starts, kissing a scar above his belly button. "But you are perfect. In my eyes at least."

She goes further down, pressing a long kiss on a scar on his hipbone. She then lays her head on his upper thigh and traces that same scar, her eyebrows furrowing as she presses it.

"How did this one happen?" She asks. "If you don't mind telling me."

Bash swallows deeply, feeling her breath warm his pelvic area. He doesn't know if she's done this on purpose or it's an innocent play. Either way, his body starts to react to his wife's actions.

"Bash?"

"I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready to tell you about that one," he says, suddenly tensing up. It wasn't a nice memory.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, don't be," he says gently.

Kenna nods, inspecting the scar even more. "It looks self-inflicted," she says softly before gasping. "Bash-"

"No."

"Okay," she replies. She leans up, studying his face. "I didn't mean to press. It's just-"

"You know which ones are self-inflicted or otherwise," he finishes for her. "Like the one on your palm."

Kenna looks down. "I've become somewhat of an expert," she says sadly. "I feel _horrible_ when I think about what I used to do. I said, didn't I? When I told you it scared me when it started to hurt."

Bash closes his eyes. "That's exactly what happened. It hurt and I... I was hospitalised because I let it bleed out. I didn't care... I didn't want to be helped and I let it be."

"You don't-"

"Might as well because you know how it feels," he cuts her off. "You know how much pain could be in one's heart and you understand."

"When?" She asks nervously.

He shifts uncomfortably. "It was after my grandmother's death. Then after, I met Rowan and she... You know our history."

Kenna sighs. "I do," she says. "You were sixteen? Shit."

"Weren't you thirteen or something when you started?" He retorts lightly.

She smiles wryly. "I was. I didn't mean to judge, I wasn't judging..."

"You were surprised."

"Exactly. I'm glad you're okay now. And alive otherwise, we wouldn't have Adrien or Perrine," she tells him. "Let's change the topic."

Bash gives her a grateful smile. "Shall we get some sleep?"

Kenna sits up with a smirk on her lips. "Not yet."

"Why not?" He asks, almost whining. "I'm tired and you know Adrien's going to..." He narrows his eyes when she straddles his hips. "Kenna, not again-"

"Come on, it's a new year!" She tells him, leaning down and kissing his lips. "You can't resist this."

Her husband snorts. "I'm extremely tired-don't you dare start..." He groans. "Fine. One more time and that's it," he replies, gripping onto her hips. "Thank you for everything, Kenna."

Kenna beams. "You're welcome."


	32. Chapter 32

"So, your plan to stay in France until February is scrapped?" Kenna asks her husband as they pack their suitcases three days later.

"Yeah," he says. "I've left everything in my sisters' hands. I just want to spend time with you and the kids."

Kenna smiles, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Well, _mostly_. Adi's going to be at school most of the time, and he has got all of his after school clubs... Wow, I wish he could take time off school to process things."

"He'll bounce back," Bash tells her. "He did when we were off and on."

Kenna winces, shaking her head. "He was acting out. When children do that, they always blame the parents and I feel awful. I wonder how he's going to react if someone says the wrong thing. He and Diane were close, Bash, and he loved her."

"He's alright now."

"It hasn't hit him fully. When he realises that he can't call her when we go back home, he'll be torn," Kenna says. "We'll need to make sure he's got support and I know we're both dealing with our own shit, but for now we need to focus on the kids. I don't know if I'm relieved that Perrine's not old enough to understand..."

Bash sighs, throwing a shirt into the suitcase and getting up to sit on the bed. "I agree."

"But don't let that put you off on talking to me," she quickly adds, getting up to sit beside him. "When they're in bed, you can offload on me. In many ways than one."

"God, Kenna," he breathes out, laughing. "Thank you. Same goes for you. If you got anything to say, tell me."

"I will, thanks Bash," she says gratefully before getting up. "Our flight's in two hours... Want to hurry things up a bit?"

She bends down to neatly fold his shirt, rearranging his whole suitcase as well. As neat as he is, he is a terrible suitcase packer and he loved using duffel bags, eager to dump his clothes and get on with it.

She takes her time, slotting his underwear into the netted part and looking up to see him watching her with an amused smile on his face. She playfully rolls her eyes before zipping the case up and moving onto hers.

"Aren't you lucky I know how to pack a suitcase expertly?" She asks, packing hers. "Go and check on Adrien and Perrine, will you? Surely your brother-in-law needs a break."

Bash chuckles, planting a kiss on her head before leaving. He's finished packing thanks to her anyway and she even did the kids' own things. He heads downstairs and finds his son watching something on his tablet as Perrine is being carried by Valentin.

"Do you want kids, Valentin?" Bash asks in an effort to start a conversation. He barely knows the guy and it seems he barely knew his family anyway.

"I would love children. Louise isn't too fond on the idea, I think she lied to your mother to please her," Valentin replies, handing Perrine over to Bash. "She's a beautiful child. Your wife is very kind and self-assured. She has a good head on her shoulders, helping you with the eulogy and supporting you all through Diane's death."

Bash nods. "Yeah."

"She's wonderful," Valentin continues. "She even made us breakfast this morning and did our laundry... Don't take her for granted. Women like her are rare."

"Wouldn't you know?" Bash says fondly. "She's the best thing in my life. And our children, of course."

Valentin grins. "I see the way you look at her. Uh, Louise told me about you both having troubles and getting divorced. How do two people separate, divorce and then get remarried not even a year later?"

Bash feels lost for words. He'd told his sisters that in confidence, but of course he knew they wouldn't keep it from their respective partners. Frankie is always a secret keeper though, but Louise loves to gossip.

"I was unfaithful," Bash confesses. It's the truth, he must own it and lay in his bed that he's made. "Let's just say, I did a lot of grovelling to get her back."

Valentin is surprised. "A woman like your wife - strong, confident, independent... I'm surprised she took you back. If I cheated on Louise, not that I would _ever_, she'll never let me see the light of day again. That or she'll walk out and disappear from my life."

"Well, Kenna and I always knew that we were meant to be, no matter how disturbingly toxic we are," Bash says.

"That's not comforting to hear at all."

"It isn't, no," Bash replies. "But it's the truth. Kenna and I are always brutally honest nowadays and it's how we are, so we are honest with other people. I'm not perfect, Valentin, but I do try and she sees that. It took me a while to make things work with her. I'm trying to get through it one day at a time."

Valentin nods. "She is a saint. Your mother told me that once when I asked of you and your family. I never knew what she meant until now. Not that it's any of my business, but sometimes people on the other side of the door can see through it. There are windows after all."

Bash swallows deeply, pressing a kiss on Perrine's head. "You're right. And Kenna is... she's everything."

He looks up and sees Kenna on the stairs. She gives him a small smile and completes her journey down, starting a cordial conversation with Valentin. As they speak, Bash studies Kenna. Everything his brother-in-law said was true about her. She cares about other people. Sometimes too much above her own self even with all of her issues.

Bash excuses himself, handing his daughter over to his wife before heading upstairs with his phone. He looks through his contacts, stopping in the 'R' section and searches for Robert's name.

Pressing it, he presses the 'call' button and places the phone on his ear.

"Robert, I know you've probably just landed in Scotland, but I will need your jet if that's not too much trouble."

_"What for, son?"_

"I think Kenna's due a holiday. And we'll need-"

_"We will meet you at Heathrow. I've got the kids, don't worry,"_ Robert cuts him off happily. _"Treat my princess well, will you?"_

Bash smiles. "I will, sir," he says before adding, "Thank you. For everything."

_"No worries."_

...

Just before Kenna can call for a cab, she spots her parents walking up to her and her family, with suitcases by their sides. Those little ones with the four wheels that Kenna thinks are too extra for her.

"Mum, Dad?" She calls out, walking over to meet them halfway. "What are you doing here?"

Joanna gives her a wink. "_You_ are going somewhere that is not home and _we_ are taking the kids for two weeks."

Kenna frowns. "T-Two weeks, but-"

"No 'buts', love," her father cuts her off. "Just gives us the children and go and enjoy yourselves!"

Bash lets Joanna take the buggy as Robert rushes over to lift Adrien into his arms and up in the air. He smiles at the grandfather and grandson, turning to his wife.

"Kenna?"

Kenna is too stunned to function, her heart beats loud in her ears as she takes a moment to compose herself. Shaking her head out of her reverie, she turns to Bash, her mouth agape.

He laughs. "What?"

"Fuck," she mumbles, blushing a little. "I-I was saying that we need to be there for Adrien-"

"Kenna, _we_ also need to look after ourselves. Your parents," Bash starts, cupping her cheeks. "Are well qualified to help Adrien grieve whilst we get much-needed rest. _We_ need some time away, alone. After everything, it will help us and be healthier for our children in the long run."

Kenna blinks away tears, looking over his shoulder to see her parents patiently waiting for her answer. "Okay," she whispers, nodding. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, but I promise you'll love it."

Kenna laughs nervously, rolling her eyes. "I hate surprises."

"I know," her husband says.

"And I hate that you're paying-"

"Kenna-"

"Bash, whatever it costs for me, I'll pay for it myself," she tells him. "We made a promise to each other."

Bash sighs. "It's our sort-of honeymoon."

"The same one I didn't want in the first place?" She retorts lightly.

"No, the one you were secretly planning behind my back," he says teasingly. "Babe, I'm not deaf."

Kenna scowls. "Whatever expenses we rack up, I'll pay then," she tells him firmly. "Please?"

"Okay," he agrees, but she knows he won't hold up his deal. He's transparent. "Right, let's say 'goodbye' to the kids and go."

"Alright," she whispers, kissing him first.

She pulls away, kneeling down before the buggy to kiss her daughter. "I love you, sweetheart," she says softly, standing up to kiss Adrien's cheek. "And I love you, bubba."

"I love you, too," Adrien replies, turning to Bash. "And you, Papa. Enjoy your holiday and get me something!"

Bash chuckles, kissing his cheek. "We will, Little Man." He shares a smile with Kenna.

God, he loves her.

...

"If I had more warning, I would have packed a swimsuit for the hot tub and pool," Kenna says. "Or something sexier..." She sighs, checking herself out in the mirror and pressing a hand against her flat stomach. "Or anything that isn't dull and screams 'I'm a mother'."

Bash raises an eyebrow, looking up from his phone. "You're sexy, Kenna, and I bet that if anyone doesn't know you, they would never guess that you've given birth twice."

Kenna tuts. "Ah, you're so sweet."

"But I do agree. I need something for the pool as well," Bash says, getting up from the bed to stand behind her. "But I had hoped we'd mostly be spending time in-"

"Bed?" Kenna asks, scoffing. "Oh, Sebastian..."

"Fine," he relents, laughing as he wraps his arms around her waist. "We'll find some stores and buy swimming suits and trunks and whatever else you want to buy."

She turns in his arms, kissing him softly. "Thank you."

"Do we have to today? I wanted to relax. We did have back to back flights," he says, turning her around once again and pulling down the zip of her dress.

"By 'relax', do you mean sex?"

"It _is_ our honeymoon," he whispers into her ear, biting it a little.

Kenna playfully rolls her eyes, but she doesn't resist. She lets her dress slip down her shoulders and fall from her body.

"Bash-"

"Tell me what you want, Kenna. In detail. Anything _you_ wish."

Kenna gasps in surprise. She takes his hand and squeezes it. "Not yet, Bash. I need to be wined and dined first. But thanks for helping me take my dress off. I was planning on putting something else on."

"Really, Kenna?" Bash asks, letting her go. He plants a kiss on the back of her head and heads back to the bed, grabbing his phone. "I need to make a call anyway. Take your time."

Kenna nods and gives him a smile as he excuses himself for the bathroom. When the door closes behind him, Kenna retrieves her handbag and gasps when she sees a lacy bright red bra and matching panties.

"Mum," she hisses, rolling her eyes. Not everything is about sex, not that it hasn't been amazing lately. She has more to offer her husband than sex to make all the negative feelings go away.

She picks up the room phone and orders for room service as well as a few other items. When she's done, she grabs the door stopper and slots it under the bathroom door.

Going to the lights, she dims them and takes a wine bottle from the ice bucket they wanted to save for later. Although her husband sneakily planned this, she managed to get some details from her father and planned ahead.

When she hears the bathroom door trying to move, she heads to it and leans against the wall beside it. She also grabs a robe and puts it on.

"Kenna?"

"Yeah?"

"I-I think the door's stuck," Bash says, trying to push it.

Kenna grins. "Oh, my God! Let me try." She wriggles the handle. "I can't get it open. I'll call maintenance."

"Hurry up!" He replies, trying to push against the door. "I-I don't-"

"I know, babe. Deep breaths, Bash. You'll be out soon, I promise," she tells him.

She lets out a wince. She knows he hates the feeling of being confined. He's claustrophobic, but she needs to do this if she doesn't want her surprise to be ruined.

"Deep breaths. In and out, I've called maintenance," she informs him.

She presses her ear against the door, becoming concerned when she doesn't hear anything. She hears the tap run and sighs in relief. At least he's moving.

Twenty minutes later, room service arrives and Kenna quickly ushers them inside, letting them set her plan in motion as she begs them to be as quiet as possible. As they get to work, she tells her husband that maintenance is _still_ on their way.

"Kenna?" He calls her. "Are they here yet?"

"Oh, babe, they got sidetracked. Some lift stopped working, they'll be here very soon, mon amour," Kenna says, giving the employees thumbs up.

Bash groans, sitting down on the closed toilet seat. He closes his eyes and tries to even his breathing. He can't believe this is happening. He'd come in here to arrange a surprise for Kenna to happen tomorrow and managed to get himself locked in the small bathroom.

It isn't small, but it sure does feel like it is right now.

"A few more minutes, babe," he hears his wife say. "They're literally down the hall!"

Kenna gets her purse from her handbag and gets a few cash notes before giving them to the room service waiters and thanking them for their extra help as they leave. After they leave, Kenna quickly takes her robe off and puts on the lingerie set her mother snuck into her bag.

She pulls a face but puts her robe on and finally shifts the door stopper and kicks it into the cabinet.

"Okay," she calls out, opening the room door for a while before closing it. "They're sorting it out." She jiggles the handle a bit. "Oh, my husband is locked inside! Can you sort the door out?"

She rolls her eyes when she tries to make it deeper. "Yes, ma'am. We'll see what we can do."

"Thank you so much!" She says in her normal voice. "Bash, just stay back okay?"

She lets out quiet giggles, messing with the handle for a few more minutes before 'thanking' the team and closing the door 'behind them'. After her hopefully convincing performance, she opens the door wide and launches herself into Bash's arms.

"Are you okay, babe?" She asks, rubbing his back. "I was so worried, you'd faint or something."

Bash pulls back to eye her suspiciously. "Y-You're not dressed."

"I couldn't get dressed after hearing you freaking out in the bathroom," she says, kissing him. "Are you okay?"

He nods, burying his face in her shoulder. "I am, now."

Making sure that he's definitely alright, she takes his hand and leads him back into the bedroom, hearing him gasp behind her. She lets out a coy smile, turning to face him with a blush on her cheeks.

"I think you can guess-"

"It was all a ploy?" He cuts her off, rolling his eyes as he places a hand on his heart.

"I'm sorry!" She says, laughing nervously. "I know how claustrophobic you get, I'm so sorry."

He waves it off, letting go of her hand to collect a wine glass. "It's worth it," he tells her, handing the glass to her.

Kenna smiles, biting her lip as she accepts the glass. "I really am sorry. If there was any other way, I would have taken it."

"You really can't handle surprises, can you?" Bash asks her, picking up the other glass and taking a sip from it. "What is with you and trying to give me heart failure?"

His wife laughs and he joins in, cupping her cheek to kiss her sweetly. He leans his forehead against hers and stares into her eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes that transfix him. The same eyes their daughter now has.

"This is nice, thank you," he says, clinking his glass with hers before downing it.

Kenna grins, walking back to put some music on. She gestures for him to take a seat at the table and when she joins him, she refills his glass.

"I only had dinner planned. That's how far I got with this idea," Kenna says, gesturing to their food. "It's annoying because they had so many good options, but you're vegan, and seafood and any meat dishes are out of the question."

"I'm sorry," Bash says, slipping a cherry tomato into Kenna's mouth.

Kenna playfully scowls but chews on it before swallowing it. "It's fine. I also didn't want to be unfair so I also got a vegan meal."

"Thank you for being considerate," he says lightly, leaning back. "Not that hungry to be honest."

"You've barely eaten these past few weeks, mon amour," she informs him, stroking his cheek. "Are you okay?"

Bash nods. "I am. I will be," he replies. "Just don't really have an appetite, but thank you for being so thoughtful, Kenna. It's more than I can ever do. I almost killed you once."

Kenna rolls her eyes. "That's in the past and it wasn't your fault. It's not like _you_ actually cooked the food."

"You're right. You know what? I should cook more," he says. "Not that I don't. But for us. Like date nights at home."

"Oh, okay," Kenna says, grinning. "I'm excited."

"So am I," Bash replies. "I'm excited for what's to come in the next chapter of our lives."

Kenna blushes lightly. "A new year, new opportunities. I have an idea to swing by you."

"Yeah?"

Kenna gives him a nod. "I was thinking you could go back to work."

"W-Work?"

"Yeah, with Francis. I mean, it could be exactly what you need. You've been floating aimlessly through life, you could go back to work," Kenna says.

Bash looks down. "Not you too. Did you speak with Francis?"

"No," she says. "I just thought you need to fill the void."

"Kenna, I don't want to go back. I really don't and I've told Francis-"

"Francis needs you," Kenna cuts him off. "If you're worried about our marriage and the things that happened in the past, you've got Francis to support you. You've got _me_ to support you. You can't deny, when you weren't sleeping with other women behind my back, you did a good job."

Bash sips from his wine, looking up to see his wife staring back at him. "_We_ did a good job, I couldn't have got those clients without you."

Kenna almost chokes on the air, clearing her throat. "Well, playing the trophy wife was good for a few things."

"Kenna..."

"Times have changed, Bash," Kenna tells him. "I'm over it, it's in the past. We now need to think about our family and that includes Francis and all of them."

"So, you're fine with me going back?" Bash asks, surprised.

"I wouldn't have brought it up, Bash, if I wasn't," Kenna says. "Do it, I'll always be by your side."

Bash searches her eyes and lets out a smile. "Yeah." He picks his wine cup. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"

Kenna grins. "We shall."

"Right, then I should let you know that I booked us for some water activities. Like undersea diving."

Kenna's eyes widen and she quickly downs her wine. "Oh, shit," she mutters. "Did I once say that I really hate the water?"

Bash grins. "You did say so and that is why we _will_ do this."

"I hate you.

"I love you, too."

...

Francis nudges Bash's shoulder, handing him his caramel macchiato. "How was your honeymoon?"

Bash smirks. "It was alright, thanks."

"So, why did you want us to talk?" Francis asks nervously.

"Should we head out?" Bash asks him, gesturing for them to leave the coffee shop.

The second they step out the door, Bash hands his cup to Francis before lighting up a cigarette. He takes a draw and sighs in relief.

"Those are bad for you," Francis teases him.

"Shut up, Francis," Bash replies in kind, taking his drink back as they start to walk towards the parking lot. "I'm coming back to work, Francis."

"What? A-Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am. Kenna and I spoke about it," Bash says. "I don't know though."

Francis playfully rolls his eyes. "You do know, Bash. We can do this and I need you. You can help me control my mother and our brother. You can help us keep those Bourbons away."

Bash turns to him in shock, stopping walking. "Why the fuck are they still in the picture?"

"Lord knows," Francis mutters darkly as they continue to walk. "Louis is around and Mary didn't take it too well."

"All I know is that if I ever see Antoine's face... I don't know what I'll do," Bash replies, his eyes darkening. "I've only just got my marriage in a good place and after Perrine..."

"I know. It's the same with Mary and me," Francis replies. "Dad was always worried about them. You see why I need you?"

Bash sighs heavily. "You've got me."

"Thank you. I owe you," Francis says.

"You don't. You're my brother, I've got you."

...

That night after doing her nightly skincare routine, Kenna joins Bash in bed, turning to him with a small smile. She reaches a hand out to play with his hair as he reads his emails on his Macbook.

"When I said that I was coming to work, I didn't expect to get millions of emails right away," he says, sighing.

Kenna rests her head on his shoulder. "It will get easier. How are you feeling so far?"

"Scared, nervous, anxious..." He trails off, closing his eyes. "I think it's too soon. It's not even been a month since my mother died and... Can I do this?"

"You should do things at your own pace, Bash," she tells him gently. "No one is rushing you."

Bash takes a shaky breath, offering her his hand. The second she places her hand in his, he kisses the back of her hand and squeezes it for comfort. It immediately calms him down and he uses his other hand to close the Macbook and place it on the nightstand.

"I had a dream about her," he says quietly. "It's stupid."

Kenna tuts. "No, it isn't. Go on, tell me about it."

"She was on the beach. She wore this polka dot number, blue for the top and red for the bottom. Her sunglasses were wide, red and thick and she had this huge smile on her face as she reached her hand towards me. The second I saw my hand, it dawned on me. It's a memory and... I can't believe I forgot about it."

"Did she take you to the beach a lot?" Kenna asks.

Bash nods, smiling. "Every weekend. With Meme Ana and my grandfather, Jean before he died. I don't remember him, but apparently he would get me these giant sundaes all for myself. Whenever Louise and Frankie visited, they got smaller ones and I always got the bigger one. even though Henry didn't love me, Diane did. She was my mum _and_ my dad and she was enough, Kenna."

Kenna's eyes water and she blinks, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I know it's stupid to even ask this, but do you miss her?"

"So much my heart breaks," Bash whispers. "I haven't been a great son to her. I always blamed her. Even for the things that Henry did and I'll never get the chance to say 'sorry'. She was extremely patient when it came to me... Why did she never tell me about my brother? I swear none of us would have cared. It would have been nice to have an older brother. Why did she keep him from us for all of these years?"

"Fourteen is a young age," Kenna says softly. "I can't imagine what she would have been going through. France was different back then and being Catholic. An unwed, pregnant mother... Bash, your mother would have struggled."

Bash wipes tears from his cheeks. "My mother fell in love easily. This guy, my dad, Louis... They never treated her well, but she gave them her all." He turns to his wife. "I'm sorry, Kenna. I don't deserve you and I never will."

Kenna stares at him, unsure of what to say. She bites her lip and nods once, turning away before more tears could fall.

"Kenna, Antoine's back."

Kenna turns to him in shock. "I-I... What?"

"Yeah," he mumbles. "He... He treated you better, right? He saw your perfection and at first, he had had an ulterior motive to destroy our marriage, but he fell for you. I wish it could have been that quickly that I fell for you."

She cups his cheek. "I'm sorry about being with him. If it helps, all I could think about was you. Every time we had sex, I imagined it was you."

She leans closer to him, nervously hovering her lips above his as she straddles him. She silently asks for permission and his lips lean up to meet hers. The kiss is slow and she rocks her hips into his, making him groan.

"I wished it was your fingers. I wish it was you saying that you loved me. I wished it was you inside of me," she continues breathlessly as his lips trail down her jawline and collarbone. "I wanted _you_. It's always been _you_. Even before everything. Even before and after he kissed me and you left me screaming on the floor of our bedroom in France."

Bash stops, pulling away to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry-"

"Stop," she whispers, sniffling. "I'd never been more scared about losing you than on that day. When we left for England, I'd already accepted the fact that I wanted to leave you. You made it easier even when I was begging you."

"I hurt you - I really don't understand why you still want me..."

Kenna kisses his fallen tears away before leaning her forehead against his. "Because we're meant to be."

He smiles in relief, his lips meeting hers forcefully as he starts to take her pyjamas off and she slides his boxers off. Just as his hands grip her shorts, their door flings open and Kenna gasps, falling off the bed as Adrien steps inside, his fist rubbing his eye.

"Adrien!" Bash cries out, covering himself. "What's wrong, bud?"

"I had a nightmare!"

"For fuck's sake," Kenna mutters lightly, on the ground as she rubs her head. "Mummy's coming. Go back to bed."

"Okay," Adrien replies, sniffling as he leaves, leaving the door wide open.

Kenna starts laughing and Bash soon follows, pulling his boxers back on underneath the duvet.

"That's your son for sure. Cockblocker," she tells him, getting up and pulling her shirt on. "I won't be long, babe."

"Hurry back," he teases her, leaning back on his pillow as she leaves.

His smile disappears and he rubs his face.

"Shit."

...

When she wakes up, Kenna is surprised by a birthday cake and a few presents. It's Saturday and she groans, shielding her eyes from the morning sun as her son starts singing loudly.

"My birthday was ages ago," she mumbles.

"Yes, but the kids weren't there to celebrate with you," Bash replies, handing their daughter to her.

Kenna smiles softly. "Okay. Go on then, what did you get me, Adi?"

Adrien shoves a gift into her free hand. "It's nothing."

"It's something," Kenna says, blowing him a kiss as she unwraps the present. Inside there is a framed photo of the family on her second wedding day. Before she got the horrible news. "Baby, it's lovely."

"Is it really?" Adrien shyly asks. "Pepe had loads of pictures and I got to choose one!"

Kenna laughs. "It's beautiful, honestly. It's the best gift ever!"

"What did Papa get you?" Adrien asks, jumping onto the bed.

Kenna's eyes meet Bash's and she coyly grins. "Oh, he bought some clothes on our honeymoon and treated me out for dinner." Lingerie, dinner and sex. Lots of the last one. "I had a spectacular day."

Bash chuckles, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Right, I'm going to cut this cake and get breakfast ready. Who wants to help?"

"I do!" Adrien calls out, getting off the bed and heading downstairs.

"Take your time, Kenna. I love you," Bash tells her.

Kenna blushes. "I love you too."

When she's finished getting ready, Kenna opens up her laptop, logs on and goes into her emails. Her eyes scan the one sent from the private investigator she's hired to help find her half-brother-in-law.

Clicking on the email, she reads it and finds out that he's found him, alive and well in New York. He's a solicitor and moved from France to the States for university and eventually to live there.

Biting her lip, Kenna books a flight to New York for herself and after confirming the details, she's called by her son and her head looks towards the door to see him standing there.

"Mama, aren't you coming?" He asks her.

Kenna nods, smiling. "A few minutes, baby. Mama's working right now, but I'll be down very soon."

"Okay... Be quick because Papa and I want you to cut the cake."

"I will don't worry," she promises, watching him go before returning her attention to the laptop.

Kenna lets out a proud smile, shaking her head and checking her flight bookings. It will only be a short trip, just to test the waters. She doesn't want Bash to stress out any more than he is now and she knows a part of him wants to respect his later mother's wishes. The other half is pressured by his older sisters and his need to please them.

She lets out a sigh, rubbing her forehead. She hopes that nothing negative will come out of this.

Her husband has been through so much, _they've_ been through so much. If this can bring a little happiness into his life, she would be relieved. She doesn't want to force things, but she needs to make sure that his half-brother is what he needs in his life right now. He doesn't need golddiggers or resentful long-lost relatives. Diane's family were full of them, vultures.

She logs out and shuts down her laptop, gets up and heads downstairs where she plants a genuine smile on her face. She kisses Bash and ruffles Adrien's hair before enjoying her belated birthday with her husband, son and daughter. All of whom she loves dearly.

...

A week later, Kenna smiles when she feels arms wrap around her shoulders. She continues to put her makeup on, viewing Bash through the mirror.

"Hey, babe," She asks.

"Hi," replies, kissing her neck. "I've been thinking..."

Kenna turns her head to kiss him softly. "Mhm?"

"What if we adopt?" Bash asks her.

Her eyes widen and he nervously bites his lip, watching her through the mirror. She looks down and places her makeup brush onto the vanity table before turning to him.

"Adopt? Adopt a dog?" She breathes out.

"A child."

Kenna swallows deeply. "Bash, we've only just-"

"I know what you're going to say and I've thought a lot about it," he quickly says. "My brother was adopted and God knows if his life is going well for him. I want to help change a kid's life and we're ready."

"Bash, your mother..." She trails off, cupping his cheek. "Babe, this might be too soon. You're healing, _we're_ healing. I don't think we're fit to take care of a child that comes with emotional baggage when we have our own."

She sighs, picking up her brush and eyeliner as he nods sadly and looks outside to see that it's dark. He checks his watch and sees that it's late evening.

"It's late, why are you doing your makeup?" He asks her, pulling away to start getting undressed so he could put more comfortable house clothes on.

"I've booked a flight..." Kenna confesses, finishing her makeup.

Bash frowns. "A flight?"

She nods, walking back into their bedroom. "A client, she's in New York right now and she doesn't do Skype."

"Oh, okay," he replies, sitting on their bed. "What about Adrien and Perrine?"

Kenna turns to him, zipping her dress up. "Lachlan will be here in the morning to drop Adrien off at school before you head off to work. If you can just get him sorted, Lachlan will deal with the rest and look after Perrine."

Bash replies with a disappointed nod, rubbing his chin. "How long will you take?"

"A few days," she tells him, coming to stand between his legs and cupping his cheeks. "If I manage to get things sorted quickly, I'll probably won't take as long as I will."

Bash sighs. "Right."

"What is it?"

"Nothing-"

"Bash-"

"You won't be able to come anyway," he says, getting up. "It's a private event that the Board is organising on my behalf, to welcome me back. I was thinking about us going as a family, to show them that our company is stable, that _our_ family life is stable."

Kenna's face falls and she mentally curses herself. "Of course," she mumbles. "I'm sorry. If I knew-"

"It's your job, it's not like you purposefully planned this," he cuts her off, making her gulp. "It's fine. Just do what you do best and make sure that your client is satisfied."

Kenna shakes her head. "I can cancel-"

"I won't let you ever give up your job for me again," Bash says firmly. "Go." He then lets out a smirk. "I can take Lachlan as my plus-one, might raise some eyebrows but it will be good for him to get to know about my family business. He is family to me after all."

"That and you just want someone to keep an eye on the kids," his wife says coyly. "I see you, Bash."

He laughs, kissing her cheek. "Fine, you got me. But if you came, I would have hired someone to go around with us with them. You're not a housewife or a trophy wife. You are my equal and I am proud of you, Kenna. Your independence is important and you've made a name for yourself. You should be proud of yourself just like I am of you."

Kenna shakily runs her fingers through his hair, messing up his neatly styled hair. She knows he won't mind because he presses his lips against hers hungrily and she lets out a moan, pulling him closer to her body.

"I love you, Kenna," he breathes out, his heart racing.

"I love you too," she says against his lips before she connects them again and pushes him onto the bed.

She's got a little bit of time.

...

It's cold in New York and Kenna shivers, wrapping her scarf around her neck tighter as she steps out of the taxi. She looks up at the tall building, suddenly feeling daunted. She almost wants to go back into the taxi and go back to England, but she has to do this for Bash.

Heading inside, she goes to the reception area and gives the woman a bright smile.

"Hi, I have an appointment with Matthew Clements," she says, swallowing deeply.

The receptionist quickly types into her computer before nodding in confirmation and handing Kenna a visitor's pass. She then tells Kenna the floor that the law firm is on and lets her through the security gates.

Kenna walks through, going to the lift and pressing the button. She feels a presence beside her and gives the man a polite smile, turning back to the lift. When it arrives, they both step into it and the doors close.

"You don't look familiar," the man says in a semi-foreign, semi-American accent.

Kenna gives him a wry smile. "Just visiting."

"Do you need a lawyer or something?" He asks her.

Kenna shakes her head, wanting to stop the small talk. "Not exactly."

They continue the rest of the journey up in silence and when it finally reaches the floor, Kenna notes that he steps off with her. She plays it off and heads straight to the reception there.

"Matthew Clements' office? We spoke on the phone," Kenna tells the woman behind this reception desk.

"Of course," the woman says, giving the man who travelled up with her a quick acknowledging wave. "He's not in his office right now, but I can direct you to his waiting area."

Kenna thanks her and follows her instructions, arriving at the waiting area. It's scarier now and she definitely feels like this is a mistake. She sets her handbag on her lap and keeps her back straight, trying to instil some sort of confidence in herself. She's used to being outgoing and forward, but this isn't her business, it's Bash's and she's forcing herself into this despite his sisters' requests not to give contact.

After a while, Kenna is called by the secretary and she stands up. She fixes her hair and takes her scarf off, slipping it between the handles of her bag.

"You've got this, Kenna," she whispers to herself before walking into the office.

The man is facing the window, seemingly reading a case file or something and takes a seat, clearing her throat.

"Hello?" She calls out.

Spinning around, the man's eyes widen when they land on her. Hers also widen and she starts laughing.

"The man from the lift?"

"The woman from the lift," he responds in kind.

Kenna blushes. "Sorry for my bluntness earlier. I was really nervous about meeting you."

"Why would you be?" _Matthew_ asks, standing up and going over to the mini-bar in his office. "Tea, water, coffee?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Kenna replies. clearing her throat again. "Well, I was nervous because I've been looking for you."

Matthew returns back to his seat and studies her. "So _you're_ behind my little shadow?"

Kenna nods once. "I apologise for the whole cloak and shadow act," she tells him. "It's a delicate situation, you see."

"Does it involve hiring me as your lawyer?"

"No," she says. "I don't need your services. I'm UK based anyway."

"Then why are you interested in me, Miss...?"

Kenna sits up straighter. "_Mrs_ Mckenna Poitiers. You can call me Mckenna."

Kenna sees that his eyes twitch at her surname and she realises that he must know something about Diane.

"Well, Mckenna, how can I help you?" Matthew asks, his hands finding some papers on the desk.

Kenna notes that he does the same thing that Bash does when he wants to hurry a conversation up. Their hands are restless, they get up and sit down, they walk around...

And his eyes...

Bash got his green eyes from Henry's side, but the shape was all Diane's and Kenna's heart stops when she sees that Matthew has Diane's eyes. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears and she lets out a small smile.

"A-Are you adopt-"

"Adopted?" He cuts her off, nodding. "Yes, I am. From France, actually."

Kenna grins, letting out a soft gasp. "I knew your birth mother."

"Diane Poitiers," he states knowingly. "Y-Your mother?"

Kenna lets out a laugh. "N-No. Mother-_in-law_."

"Oh, right. Yes, you did say you were _Mrs_..."

"M-My husband, Sebastian, well, Sébastien, is her second son and he has two older half-sisters, Louise and Françoise," Kenna explains. "You see, Diane died on Christmas Eve and she gave her children letters, telling them all about _you_, Matthew. D-Did you know anything-"

"I did my own investigation into her," Matthew admits. "I knew she had three children after me and I knew who my father was and how I came to be... I wasn't a conventional conception, Mckenna and I decided to spare your husband and his sisters the pain of knowing that."

Kenna nods sadly. "They know now."

"Indeed," Matthew says. "I never thought she'd want to know me-"

"She always thought about you. From her letter, she said she wished things were different. She was fourteen and times were... Times were difficult around that time," Kenna tells him. "Her dying wish was for her children to be united."

Matthew rubs his face. "I can't. I know you mean well, but I have a life here. I have a fiancé, children..."

Kenna slips her phone from her bag and unlocks it, heading to her gallery. She chooses a recent picture of her, Bash and their children before showing it to Matthew. She sees his eyes light up.

"He's older - I found him when he was a teenager. About seventeen? He was racing his horse and he won gold. I went to watch and I was very proud," Matthew says, taking her phone and leaning back in his seat. "Yeah, your children are really beautiful. That's Diane's beauty there. I want you to know, I never blamed her. I was adopted into a loving family and I made a name for myself..."

He studies the picture, sighing heavily.

"W-What are their names?" Kenna asks. "Your children, I mean."

Matthew looks up at her. "Dion and Michaela. Yours?"

"Adrien and Perrine Aveline," she says, giving him a bright smile. "They're lovely names, your children's. I know this is all confusing and daunting, it is for me because I-I didn't tell them that I was coming."

"Shit."

"Yeah," she whispers sadly. "I'm probably going to get the lashing of my life, but if you can make it seem like it was your idea-"

"I won't be a part of their lives-"

"You have to be," Kenna cuts him off. "You could fill the hole in his heart. I love my husband and his happiness is everything to me and he really wants to know you despite what your sisters say."

Matthew raises his eyebrows when she refers to the women as _his_ sisters. He has family, his adoptive parents long since dead and his adoptive brother and him not on speaking family. But maybe his biological family can fill the void in his heart as well.

"Yeah," he whispers. "Tell me about your plan."

Kenna smiles happily, sighing in relief before getting into an elaborate plan of how to introduce him and his real family to each other. A part of her feels guilty for doing this, but when she sees the happiness in her husband's eyes, it will be worth it.

It has to be worth it.


	33. Chapter 33

"Kenna! You made it," Bash says, capturing her lips in a quick kiss.

Kenna smiles, brushing her hair from her eyes. "I wouldn't miss it for the world," she replies easily. "Where are the kids?"

"Perrine needed a change and I think Francis took Adrien somewhere with the other kids," Bash says, looking around before his green eyes land back on her. "You look beautiful."

Kenna scoffs lightly, eyeing her blue, slim fit dress. "This old thing?" She asks lightly. "You flatter me."

"Do you want anything to drink?" He asks, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Uh, yeah go ahead," she says, following him to the drinks table. She nervously looks around, there are more people than she expected.

The hall is full, many business people here from England to Europe and Asia to America and Kenna bites her lip when she sees Matthew and his partner holding a conversation with someone across the room. She gives him a smile when he looks over and he returns it, tapping his watch discreetly.

"Hey, darling?" She calls her husband, gaining his attention. "There's some American guy I'd like you to meet. We bumped into each other in the entrance and he's considering taking a position in your legal team."

Bash frowns slightly, handing her a champagne flute. "We're not looking for any takers for a job, Kenna. I'd give him my card and see if I can-"

"He's really good apparently," she cuts him off. "Talk to Francis about it. Don't make a rash decision!"

Bash eyes her suspiciously. "Is he your new secret lover?" He teases her, wrapping a possessive arm around her waist.

Kenna chuckles, placing her free hand on his shoulder. "You wish. He must have known who I was to you because he convinced me. I would have hired him myself."

"Kenna, I know you're trying to help, but we really don't have a job going on now," Bash says. "Can we talk about something else?"

Kenna nods, giving him a bright smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, thanks. You?"

"I'm doing alright," she tells him, taking a sip from her glass.

"How was New York?" He asks her.

Kenna clears her throat. "It was eventful. It's her wedding and it's a big one."

"Can you handle it?"

"I have to," she tells him, her eyes flickering over to an anxious Matthew. "It's my job to make her happy."

"Kenna..."

"Yes?"

Bash takes a strand of her hair and plays with it. "Can we talk somewhere quiet?"

"Is this sex?" Kenna asks with a small smile.

"No," Bash says, laughing. "Not here at least. I just want to talk about something."

Kenna gives him a nod and sends Mary a quick wave. "You go out first, I'll follow."

"Oh, conspicuous, are we?"

She giggles. "Hmm. Go."

She watches him leave and she heads towards Matthew. The person he's talking to excuses themselves, sending her a quick greeting and a few kind words that make Matthew raise an amused eyebrow.

"You're popular," he tells her when the man leaves.

"Monsieur Roche. I almost had dinner with him and his wife once," she explains lightly. "Uh, my husband is a tricky one. He's adamant about not hiring anyone so we might need a new plan."

Matthew sighs, taking a flute from a passing tray. "I could come forward with a business idea. Give me ten minutes."

"Do you have money?" Kenna asks, intrigued.

"A question every man wants to be asked by a wealthy heiress with a just as rich husband," he says lightly. "I'll think of something."

"Okay," Kenna replies, smiling before leaving.

She finds Bash waiting for her at a balcony, a bottle of champagne resting in a bucket on the table. When she gets closer, she sees that he's holding a bouquet of roses and she gasps happily, gaining his attention.

"I got sidetracked," she tells him, taking the roses. "You didn't even know I was coming, how did you...?" She trails off, sniffing them.

Bash smiles wryly. "I got them from the hallway. I missed you, Kenna, even if it was only three days that you were gone."

Kenna kisses him, placing her free hand on the back of his neck. When she pulls away, she tells him, "I love you."

"I love you too," he says softly. "I know you've already said 'no' to this, but I really do think that we should adopt."

"Bash-"

"I went to a children's care home and met this kid."

"Wh-What?" Kenna breathes out in shock, letting go of him. "When?"

Bash crosses his arms. "The day I was telling you that story about my mother and grandparents taking me to the beach. I've been contacting him a few times and I was hoping that you'd come with me to visit him next time."

"Sebastian," she says firmly, placing the roses on the table. "You lied to me." She winces, she's more or less done the same.

"I didn't lie," he argues gently. "I kept it from you."

She wants to say, "Same difference," but she says, "Alright. Tell me about this kid."

Bash's eyes light up. "He's ten years of age. He's got French ancestry, which is great because we held a few conversations in French and he was really comfortable. He's called Pascal."

"Pascal..." Kenna says, trying the name on her lips. "T-That's a lovely name."

"He's great too. I'm ready, Kenna. I swear to you," Bash tells his wife, taking her hands in his. "_We're_ ready. This is our calling, this is meant to be because we've always wanted a big family and my mother, she always wanted me to live my life to the fullest and have no regrets. She wants us to do this. Find my brother and complete our family."

Kenna looks away, biting her lips nervously.

_"You know what they say, things come in threes. A death, a birth, a wedding."_

Diane's death, hers and Bash's honeymoon and now...

"Yeah," she whispers, turning to him with a smile. "Yeah."

"My mother was superstitious," Bash says, breathing a sigh of relief. "This is a new chapter in our story and I promise you, we will be happy."

Kenna grins. "Do you know Pascal's family history? Why he's prepped and ready to go, basically? We need to do this right and, I don't want any issues. We also need to see how this affects Adrien and Perrine because-"

"I may have asked Adrien how he'd feel about us adopting a sibling for him," Bash says. "He loved the idea."

Kenna frowns a little, but her smile remains. "You've asked Adrien. Wow, you're serious."

"Of course! This is a kid's life we're talking about. I keep thinking about what if he was my brother. Anyway, as for your question, Pascal's mother is dead and his father is in prison. He has no other known relatives."

Kenna gasps softly. "Oh... I-I didn't expect that."

"Yeah," Bash says, wincing. "His mother was a drug addict and she overdosed. His father dealt the drugs and did other things on the side. Pascal hasn't heard from him since he was five."

"Bash... That's a lot of emotional baggage there," Kenna says, placing a hand on his arm. "I don't think we can handle that much."

"Kenna, we can," he insists. "My mind is made up and that is final."

Kenna resists the urge to roll her eyes. "This is a family decision, Bash. How do you even know his social workers will allow this? I've been to an MBU somewhat recently and you attended a mental health clinic less than a year ago! Bash, we need to be realistic. I was thinking that we could take our time. We can't afford to rush into this."

Bash searches her eyes. "What are you not telling me?"

"I'm sorry?" She asks.

"Tell me. You are keeping something from me. I've told you mine, tell me yours," he says.

Kenna sighs. "I found your half-brother. He's in the hall."

For a while, Bash simply stares at her. He remains impassive, neither angry or happy or anything. His face is neutral and he blinks a few times, thins his lips, puckers them a little, and relaxes.

"We will discuss this later," he says. "I have an event to attend."

He walks away, leaving Kenna shivering in the cold. Her eyes land on the bottle and she pours herself a flute and downs it. She pours another one and sits down, watching the dark sky.

She's alone for a few minutes until she feels a presence behind her. She turns and rolls her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Did you and hubby get into an argument?" Antoine asks, taking the bottle and pouring a flute for himself as he sits down.

"You're not meant to be here."

"I'm not meant to be a lot of things," he replies, eyeing her. "How are you?"

"Why would I tell you?" She retorts.

Antoine gives her a small smile. "I miss you."

Kenna takes a shaky sip from her flute. "Enjoy the night, Antoine. Enjoy it well because the next time you even think about coming near me, I'll scream for Bash and he'll deal with you in ways I can't."

She gets up and collects her bouquet, heading back into the hall to find Mary waving her over to her, Greer and Lola with their partners sans Francis. She grins and walks over, giving them all hugs.

"You were gone for a while," Mary states. "We were thinking that you and Bash were reuniting in certain ways."

Kenna smiles it off. "I wish," she says lightly. "Actually, he sprung some news on me and I need some advice."

"Oh?" Greer asks. "Tell us."

"He wants us to adopt this kid he's been visiting behind my back," Kenna tells them. "From what he tells me, he sounds great but the emotional baggage on all parties is too much. He keeps saying it's because of Diane and this situation she's thrown him into, but what if he can't handle it and cope?"

Mary sighs. "From what I can see, Bash is doing really well. He's happy, Kenna. Losing Diane has made him see things differently."

"You guys haven't seen him on a different level," Kenna says.

"How do you mean?" Lola asks her.

"He cried a lot, understandable, but he also zones out and he's unpredictable," she explains. "I can't control him because he's ten steps ahead of me or on another thing entirely."

Mary discreetly checks Bash out. She sees that he and Francis are in a deep conversation with some man and his daughter and she turns back to Kenna, giving her a meek shrug.

"I-I don't know how to help you."

"Neither do we," Lola says apologetically. "Why can't you talk to him?"

Kenna looks away. "I don't want to disturb his grieving process. I should leave it. I don't want to start something that-"

"Mckenna?"

Kenna turns around to face Matthew. "Oh, hi. Uh, Ladies and gentlemen, this is Matthew Clements. Matthew, these are my good friends," she says, quickly introducing them. "Matthew has a business idea he wants to propose to Francis and Bash."

"Oh, does he now?" Mary asks, sipping her juice. "Do you want to test that by us?"

Matthew turns to Kenna. "And she is...?"

"Francis's wife," Kenna says. "Mary."

"Oh, right. I think I'll wait for the main performance. Your husbands are very hard to hunt down and talk to."

Kenna chuckles, turning to see them and her smile suddenly disappears. "Excuse me."

She gives the roses to Mary and walks over to the group surrounding her husband, sleekly linking her arm with his own as she turns to give the man and his daughter a fake smile.

"Herr Schweiger, Frauline Claudia, a pleasure it is to be acquainted again," she says, gripping a little too tightly on Bash's arm.

He notices and clears his throat. "Why don't you get something for us to drink, darling?"

Kenna eyes him and she suddenly feels breathless. Like all of her fears and insecurities are returning. It feels as if every woman in the room has slept with her husband at one point or another and she shakes her head.

"I've already had quite a few," she tells him, silently begging Francis for help when her eyes land on him. "Want to let me in?"

"Hotels," Schweiger says. "Your husband and his brother called me up to talk about a hotel project in Calais."

"Is that right?" Kenna whispers, her throat feeling dry. "You did own quite a-"

"Maman, Papa!"

Kenna releases a deep sigh of relief when she lets go of Bash to bring Adrien into her arms. She hugs him tightly, hoping he'll remove her nerves. She feels him smile against her chest.

"Hello, sweetheart!" She says, briefly eyeing the Schweigers.

"Don't say..." Schweiger trails off. "Is that...?"

"Adrien," Bash says. "Yes. He will be seven-years-old in the summer."

Schweiger bends down slightly to give Adrien a high-five. "I last remember you running around everywhere, boy. It's good to see that you are very big now!"

Adrien shies away, hiding behind Kenna's legs. "Thank you."

Kenna places a hand on his head, turning to Bash. "I am going to find our daughter and perhaps, we should head home. It is past the children's bedtime."

"Ch-Children?" Claudia breathes out. "You have a daughter now?"

"We do," Kenna says firmly. "She'll be one in Spring. If you'll pardon us."

She walks away, almost too quickly. She almost stumbles into a guest, apologising profusely as she makes her way over to her brother and daughter by the door with her son.

"Kenna? You're looking a bit pale, are you okay?" Lachlan asks.

Kenna nods. "Take the kids home. I'll be behind shortly."

She leaves them and heads down the hall towards the toilets. As soon as she finds a stall, she shuts the door and vomits into the toilet, sobs escaping her lips. She covers her mouth, shutting her eyes closed.

This was karma. She got herself involved in Bash's family's business and now, her ex-partner and his ex-lover were coming to do harm onto her marriage again. She feels tired, fed up and she lets out a curse.

She wants to do good for him, she doesn't mean to hurt him. Finding Matthew is a good thing, it is what he wanted, right?

Kenna's eyes widen when she hears the door open and shut. She gets up and closes the seat quietly before sitting down on it and covering her face. She doesn't want to see anyone or talk to them either.

"Kenna, I know that's you," Mary's voice calls out. "You're the only one with the custom Gucci heels with 'K' charms on the heels."

Kenna smiles despite everything and opens the door. "Okay, you've found me."

Mary grins. "It was pretty uncomfortable bending down to check those out with this bump. Go on, tell me what's wrong."

"A woman that Bash slept with is here," Kenna confesses sadly. "He didn't want me to be there with him when he was speaking to her and her father."

Mary's face falls. "Should I slap her and call her a 'whore'?"

"Please don't," Kenna says, giggling.

"Maybe he was protecting you," Mary tells her gently. "Francis is with them, it's not like they'd have sex right there and then with everyone, including her father, watching."

Kenna rolls her eyes. "But still. She's still wearing that disgusting perfume I smelt on Bash all of those years ago. She stills has feelings for him, I saw that."

"She's a slut and she's not taking my best friend's man on my watch!" Mary says, making Kenna burst into laughter. "There we go. Now, I've got you some mints because, whew, I can smell that breath from here."

"Shut up," Kenna says, smiling as she takes some. "Thank you, Mary."

"You're welcome."

Kenna looks back down. "Antoine's here. And that means-"

"Louis is not too far behind," Mary finishes, rubbing her forehead. "We have to put a lot of shit in the past and they are definitely examples. Did he try anything?"

"Some sweet talk about missing me," Kenna replies, waving it off. "I threatened him with Bash, but after seeing Claudia... I think what would have happened if I left Bash that time he saw the picture of Antoine forcing himself on me? I always went to him to offload when Bash cheated and-"

"Don't even go there. Antoine is evil and he's poisonous. The Bourbons play with our emotions and screw us all up, they're snakes. He ruined your marriage, Kenna, leave him in the past," Mary cuts her off.

Kenna quickly nods. "You're right," she says, taking a few more mints. "I'm going to head home, I'm jet-lagged. You stay and enjoy the party."

"I'll come with you."

"Mary-"

"Let me get my stuff from Greer and get the kids from Catherine. I'll also let Francis know we're going home," Mary says, already heading outside.

When they return to the hall, Mary scours the room to find their friends and her children as Kenna's eyes land back on Bash _still_ in a conversation with Francis and the Germans.

She furrows her brows when she sees Claudia reach a hand to rub Bash's forearm up and down a few times before nodding and bringing her hand back to her middle. Kenna's fists clench and she nudges Mary, gaining her attention as she points over to the group.

"I'm going to kill her," Kenna whispers, her eyes stinging with tears.

"Stay calm, Kenna," Mary says back. "You and Bash are strong. He's loyal to you, that meant nothing."

"We had somewhat of an argument," Kenna admits. "This is payback."

Mary swallows deeply. "You trust Bash and you love him. Come on."

She leads Kenna over to Greer and Greer notes that Kenna's eyes remain fixed on her husband. The blonde sighs, handing Mary her things.

"Have a good night, ladies. Aloysius and I are making the most of our babysitters," Greer says, attempting to break the tense air. "Seven kids, right? I'm glad the eighth is at university."

"Yeah," Mary says softly, rubbing Kenna's shoulder.

Kenna gently shrugs her off and heads towards Matthew, tapping him on the shoulder. "I told him that I found you and you're here. Find him and I hope everything goes well because I am going home."

Matthew nods, wishing her a 'goodnight' as he watches her leave. He frowns, knowing something is up before turning his attention to his younger brother who talks with his own younger brother and a couple.

Fixing his tie, he heads over and his eyes lock onto Bash's who already seem to know who he is and why he's there. "Sebastian, I am Matthew Clements. Is there a chance we can speak in private?"

Bash nods slowly, excusing himself before leading Matthew out into the hallway. "How long have you and my wife been in contact?"

"Only a few days. We met in New York," Matthew says.

Bash scoffs. "Of course you did," he says, biting back a snarky remark about his wife being a liar. "So, we're half-brothers."

"We are," Matthew affirms. "I'm not looking for anything. Money, homes, or whatever under the sun. I just want to get to know you and our sisters."

Bash sighs heavily, going over to the wall to lean against it. "Dinner. Tomorrow at 6 PM."

"I'll be there with my fiancée."

Bash gives him a nod and leaves, heading back into the hall. He sees that only Lola, Greer and their partners remain and he sighs, forgoing his hotel conversation for some alcohol.

He stares intently at the flutes. He's already had some to cool his nerves down, but now he needs more. But he's put a limit on himself. Then again, he's had quite an eventful evening.

He leaves the champagne for something stronger instead.

...

Kenna sees the minute past three in the morning tick by, and she sighs and gets out of bed. She slips her slippers on and heads downstairs, deciding to wait on the sofa instead.

She waits, chipping away at her neatly done nails. She had a bit of time in New York before her flight home so had her nails done. Kenna is not one for patience, but when it comes to her husband and her children, she has all the patience in the world.

She knows she should have let him do things in his own time, but she wanted to surprise him. He sulks and she sighs. He becomes restless and the only way she can bring him back to bed is to have sex with him.

Her body aches and her head feels like a thousand hammers pounding on it. She feels guilty and terrible, and she wishes that the conversation about that child he was getting to know went better.

Of course, she wants to adopt and expand their family, but if they do it soon, he might have a breakdown or a meltdown and she will have to pick up everyone's pieces again and forgo her own sanity and health worries _again_.

Kenna gets up from her seat when she hears the door open. She bends down a little to switch the lamp on and like a moth to light, Bash enters, his tie loosely around his neck.

She nervously eyes him, sighing in relief. "I wasn't sure if you were coming home."

"I had contemplated not coming home," he replies, shrugging. "I decided against it."

"Bash, I'm so-"

"Dinner at six this evening. Matthew is coming with his fiancée," he cuts her off, looking down. "He... He has her eyes."

Kenna nods a little. "I'm sorry, Bash. I wanted to do something nice for you and I messed up. I shouldn't have got involved, but you were..." She trails off, sighing as she bows her head. "You were saying all of these things about what your mother would have wanted and I just wanted to help you."

"I know."

"I'm stupid sometimes-"

"No, no you're not," Bash says softly. "If it wasn't for you, I'd probably never get in touch with him. I needed to be put in the deep end because I would have avoided it like I was doing by wanting us to adopt that kid."

Kenna steps towards him, testing the waters. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Bash mumbles. "I do things so I don't think about other things. I push my feelings down and when they get too much, I keep pushing them down and it's not... it's not healthy, do you understand me?"

Kenna nods. "I do. I really do."

"I ignore the warning signs. And you were right, it is too soon, but I hope that doesn't mean we'd stop talking to Pascal and getting to know him," Bash says. "Because he's a really good kid and he deserves to be happy. He deserves a family, a loving mum and dad who can protect him and I _know_ we can provide that for him just as my half-brother's family probably did for him."

Kenna smiles. "Definitely. When the time is right, we will welcome your brother and Pascal into our family and give them all we've got to offer."

Bash gives her a nod. "I almost drunk more than I should. I found some hard liquor and stared at it, but I didn't drink it."

"That's good," Kenna breathes out. "I may have had a few glasses of wine when we got home after the kids were put to bed."

He laughs and she joins in. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she replies. "Bash... When you were with Claudia, I saw her rub your arm. I know it's stupid, I shouldn't be jealous, but she _knows_ that touching you in any way is wrong."

"She was apologising," Bash tells her. "She told her father about our one-night stand and he forced her to apologise to me, Francis and you. But you had gone before she could tell you."

"I went to throw up," Kenna confesses. "Because I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like everywhere I turned to, a woman you've probably slept with was there. I had to go before I lost my mind. Then Mary found me and threatened Claudia and a few other things."

Bash laughs wryly. "I'll admit, it was hard ignoring them. They'd give me longing looks and well, I felt like they didn't exist when you were by my side. I am sorry about that. Perhaps, we should stay well clear from events like those-"

"And show them that they've won?" Kenna asks him. "Bash, what they don't know is that they've made our marriage stronger than ever. That and I trust you fully. I knew there was a risk of this when I told you to return to work. Bash, I'm fine. Last night was a blip."

"Okay," he replies. "Can we go to bed now? I've got a headache and we've got a dinner to prepare for."

"Do you forgive me for that?"

"Yeah," Bash says, coming over to kiss her. "Thank you so much."

Kenna smiles. "You're welcome, Bash."

...

"Does this look okay?"

Kenna turns to face Bash, a frown on her lips. "That is the sixth outfit you've changed into and they're coming in fifteen minutes."

Bash rolls his eyes and disappears back into the wardrobe. "I need to make a good impression."

Kenna snorts. "This is your _brother_."

"Half-brother," Bash corrects her, looking through his tie drawer. "Blue or black?"

"Same difference," Kenna mutters. "Uh, blue."

"The wrong choice, I'll go with the black one-"

"Excuse me?" Kenna cries out. "I'm the fashion guru in this house!"

Bash tuts, getting the blue one instead. "Fine. Are you sure?"

"I swear if you ask me that, I'll stab you. Black ties are too depressing," Kenna says, finishing her makeup. "I'll go get the kids ready."

"Okay," Bash says, hearing her leave their bedroom.

He puts the blue tie on and sighs, sitting down on the stool. He's nervous, scared and a part of him wants to throw up. Last night, his head was barely acknowledging anything so when he met his brother, he managed to hold a short conversation with him. Now, the man is going to see the calmer version of him. The version he is at home with his children and wife.

He slips out the cue cards from his pocket and reads them over. He feels stupid, writing prompts to talk about with the sibling he's never met. He will be thirty-two soon and his brother is a good fifteen years older than him. He feels weird at the age difference. There are only eight years between him and Francesca, and six years between him and Louise - fifteen is huge.

His brother could be a grandfather at this age, right?

Bash gets up and throws the cards into the bin before grabbing his suit jacket and cigarettes. He heads downstairs and into the garden, lighting up a cigarette and quickly taking a draw from it.

It's not healthy. Leaving one addiction for another, but his father was worse. Henry never discouraged him of that habit, he even used to teach his sons when they were teenagers.

It disgusts Bash now, but then again, he's smoking and drinking and basically a reincarnation of his late father. All his mother wanted for him was for him to _not_ become another Henry and he went and did that.

Bash wonders what Matthew is like. Is he like his birth father or like their mother? Is he calm and collected or otherwise?

By the time he's finished with his cigarette, the doorbell rings and he takes a moment to calm his nerves before he heads inside, popping a mint into his mouth and spraying some perfume just as he reaches the door. He shoves the perfume bottle into the credenza by the door.

"Are you going to let them freeze in the cold?" Kenna asks teasingly from behind him as she carries Perrine on her hip. "We'll be in the dining room."

She completes her journey down the stairs and leads Adrien into the dining room as Bash finally opens the door and plants a smile on his face, stepping back to let them inside.

"Welcome," he says, shaking Matthew's hand before shaking Matthew's fiancée's hand. "I'm Sebastian," he formally introduces himself, hoping they won't smell the smoke on his clothes.

"Matthew. Matthew Clements," Matthew replies. "And my fiancée, Di-Ann."

Bash turns to Di-Ann in surprise. "L-Like-"

"Our mother's name, yes," Matthew finishes for him. "It was fate, I guess."

Bash nods numbly and turns around, leading them into the dining room. "You remember my wife."

"Mckenna," Matthew greets her, shaking her hand as Kenna hugs Di-Ann. "My wife, Di-Ann."

Kenna smiles. "It's nice to meet you," Kenna says to the redhead, gesturing for them to take their seats. "Adrien, can you say 'hello' to our guests?"

Adrien gives the couple a wave. "Hi."

"Hello," Di-Ann says, giving him a bright smile. "He's a handsome, little boy."

"He really is," Kenna replies, giggling. "And this is our daughter, Perrine Aveline."

After the introductions and a few glasses of wine sipped and finished, Bash relaxes. He stays quiet as his wife converses with Matthew and Di-Ann, taking to studying them from the rim of his wine glass.

He mentally scolds himself to grow a pair and do something, anything and he clears his throat, gaining Matthew's attention.

"D-Did you always have that name? 'Matthew'?" He asks.

Matthew nods. "They said my birth mother insisted on it, that it was from the Bible and she was Catholic."

"It means 'the gift of the Lord'," Bash says quietly. "I have no doubt that she loved you."

He shakily stabs a piece of tofu and all but shoves it into his mouth as he nervously scratches his neck. He feels hot and uncomfortable and his heart starts to race.

His mother lied to him for all of these years. Told him and Kenna how awful it was to lose a child, but she had lost her sons before him in different ways. Stillbirth and giving up for adoption. He feels guilty for having been the one son she welcomed and nurtured and yet, he never appreciated her more than he did, now she was gone.

"What does your name mean, Papa?" He hears his son ask.

Bash turns to Adrien, his body calming down. The boy's helped him and he doesn't even know it. "Venerable. That means, 'deserving respect'."

"So you must respect your daddy, yeah?" Kenna teases their son. "Eat up, there's dessert for afters."

Adrien grins and returns to his meal as Bash ruffles his hair, meeting Kenna's eyes. She gives him a small smile and turns to the other couple, offering them more wine.

"Why New York?" She asks them.

"Good clients," Matthew explains. "The ones that pay big bucks. You've seen my office. There won't be that kind of space here or in France."

"I can't dispute with you there," Kenna replies, sipping her wine. "Tell us about Dion and Michaela."

As Di-Ann and Matthew talk about their children, Kenna rests her hand on Bash's knee and gives it a squeeze. She smiles widely when he places his hand on hers and squeezes it.

"So, have you lived in England for a long time?" Matthew asks.

Bash shakes his head. "I was here for boarding school when I was a child. My father, he was a difficult man and I stayed away to keep him happy more or less," he says. "I returned back to France for secondary schooling at a private school before going into further education and getting my Business degree."

"So, how did you and your wife meet?" Di-Ann asks him.

Kenna giggles a little. "Do you want to tell them or shall I?"

Bash blushes, rolling his eyes. "Well, you see, her best friend and my brother are married and we've known each other since we were children. I met Kenna at her and her best friend's joint sixteenth birthday party and we shared a dance and-"

"A bottle of expensive champagne. Honestly, the party was not quite the thing I wanted then and he made it his mission to cheer me up," Kenna says, turning to give her husband a grin. "He was so sweet about it, called me flattering words a few times..."

"She said I was a good dancer and I called her 'beautiful' and all I can remember is wanting to get to know her better," Bash says, returning her grin with a soft smile. "She was someone I wanted to figure out and be around."

Kenna clears her throat, giving their guests a nervous laugh. "Actually, come to think of it. Our story's quite a bor-"

"We didn't see each other until the wedding of my brother to her best friend a good few years later. I was the Best Man and she was the Maid of Honour and we shared another dance and flirted a little. Next thing I know, my brother is trying to set us up and I took a leap of faith and asked her out."

"With presents. And if you don't know me, one thing you should know is that I love presents," Kenna says teasingly. "I was having brunch with my best friend and I suddenly get a text from yours truly straight after she tells me that her husband is setting us up and I told her that I wasn't interested even though I did fancy him a lot. I wasn't in the dating mood, but he sent me a text with a kiss and which I didn't reply to. The next morning, there were roses ordered to my door with a note from him, asking that I go to dinner with him and I finally agreed just as I got another delivery. I will admit, I do love my brands and he got me a full outfit to wear for our first date."

Bash laughs. "She came and we had a great time until I messed things up and she left. I asked my brother for advice and ended up going to her apartment in the middle of the night to ask her if we could try again. We sealed the deal and the next morning, after making her breakfast, she told me it was a one-off thing."

Kenna playfully rolls her eyes. "I was playing hard to get."

"It worked."

"I bet it did," Matthew cuts in, grinning as he gave them amused eyebrow raises.

Bash nods. "It did because every day for the two weeks that came after that night, I sent flowers and chocolates and everything under the sun to her door. Then, I stopped because I didn't want to scare her away and I texted her to tell her that she was always on my mind, ever since her birthday party. She invited me over and the rest is history."

"I would have made it last a month, but I'd admit, I was starting to fall for him," Kenna says, making them all laugh.

"I don't deserve her," Bash tells them. "There are things I wish I could have done differently because she deserves perfection and more."

He takes her hand and kisses the back of her hand which makes their son gag. He ruffles Adrien's hair and laughs, clearing his throat.

"I think I'm done with this meal. Does anyone have room for dessert?"

...

"Tell me the truth," Di-Ann says to Kenna as they clean the dishes, watching the brothers and Adrien play football outside in the garden. "Your relationship wasn't all roses and peaches was it?"

Kenna frowns, drying a plate and putting it away. "How do you mean?"

"I can read people," Di-Ann tells her nonchalantly. "I read a lot of things about Sebastian. You... You're a closed book."

Kenna gives her a small smile. "Well, that's a bit personal is it?" She nervously asks.

"It is, but we're family now," Di-Ann says lightly. "It took Matthew ten years to realise how much he loved me. By then, I was engaged to another man and was getting ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Until he told me, the week before the wedding, that it was always me for him, even if I married a thousand other men."

Kenna sighs, leaning against the counter as Di-Ann continues to wash the dishes. "Following what we told you at dinner, he proposed nine months later and we got married a week after that. My family weren't too happy about it and when I moved to France after our honeymoon to be with him, that was the last time I saw them until recent years."

"Wow."

"Yeah," Kenna says quietly. "I feel bad, but we're good now. We had Adrien early in our marriage and when he was a toddler, things started going south. He had... Well, he had affairs and I kept quiet about them, forgiving him each time. Until I started somewhat of an emotional affair with a distant cousin of his from his father's side..."

Di-Ann pauses. "It wasn't your fault. His actions led to you seeking comfort elsewhere. But how did you go from that to the performance you gave us at dinner?"

"Performance?" Kenna repeats in confusion. "We worked through our issues. Not before getting separated, divorced and continuing a sexual relationship despite our legal battles resulting in our daughter. We got remarried last summer and things have been better."

"I shouldn't have asked. We barely know each other," Di-Ann says, laughing slightly. "I'm sorry, I am so nosey - Matthew tells me that, but I don't listen. I didn't mean to upset you-"

"No, it's fine," Kenna says, waving her off. "It's in the past and we're happy. Well, we're working towards that and let's just say, our therapist deserves an annual family Christmas photo card and a bunch of spa treatments and Yankee candles."

They laugh and continue doing the dishes together, turning their attention to Adrien when he comes inside.

"Papa says it's nearly my bedtime."

"Okay," Kenna says. "Do you want me to tuck you in, bubba?"

Adrien eyes Di-Ann before shaking his head. "I'm a big boy, Mama! I'll tuck myself in!"

He leaves, leaving the women amused as Kenna playfully rolls her eyes.

"Wait until he calls for either me or my husband to read him a story," she says to the redhead. "He's just playing macho for your sake."

"He's macho alright!" Di-Ann replies. "Great..." She mutters, looking outside. "He's smoking."

Kenna turns to her in surprise. "Matthew smokes too?"

"Has been for years. He never does it near the kids, but well, we have the money for dental care I guess," Di-Ann says, rolling her eyes. "How long as Sebastian been smoking?"

"Quite embarrassing," Kenna tells her. "Since we were teenagers. His dad used to smoke. Tobacco, cigars, the whole lot. Bash gave up, but after somewhat abstaining from alcohol, he turned back to smoking. My brother, his brother, they all smoke."

Di-Ann turns to her with a grin. "Do you want to hose them down as a warning?"

"You're evil!" Kenna laughs. "What if they're getting to know each other?"

"You're right. Fine, playtime's for later," Di-Ann says, nudging Kenna's shoulder.

Outside Bash puts out his cigarette and looks up at the sky, wondering if his mother is looking down and seeing this. He lets a smile out when one star shines brighter than the rest and he sighs heavily.

"How did she die?" Matthew asks. "Diane?"

"Heart failure. It just gave out. She had some kind of breast cancer. I found out after the postmortem when we spoke to the doctor with her partner," Bash says. "She was suffering for longer than she told us. She was seeking treatment privately and then she was in remission for a bit but then she got cardiovascular disease."

"Shit," Matthew mutters. "Did she suffer?"

Bash shakes his head. "No. It was... It was quick and painless. Or I believe so. Christmas Eve... I went to wake her up in the afternoon and she wasn't responding. I did everything I could, but it was too late."

"I'm sorry. That must have been hard to... to digest."

"It was," Bash says quietly. "It didn't feel real. It didn't feel like it was _her_ that I was doing CPR to. Louise and Frankie were crying and screaming and I just kept going until I was told to stop. I took the first flight out of there and it felt like a dream."

Matthew wipes his tears. "I always wondered what she was like. What she smelt like, how she sounded... Was she a good mom?"

"She was. I took her for granted," Bash admits, turning to him. "She let me get away with a lot of things. I blamed her for a lot of things... She always was patient with me and I never knew why until now. She already lost you and her second son was stillborn. She didn't want to lose me."

"The chosen one."

"I wouldn't say that," Bash replies. "My father wasn't the best of fathers and he caused a lot of issues for us even when he lived an hour away and barely saw me."

Matthew nods. "Hmm. What did she smell like?"

"Oh," Bash breathes out, smiling. "Chanel. Everything Chanel. Her and my wife would stink up the house with that perfume. I couldn't escape it."

"Di-Ann loves Chanel."

"Well, we're both damned for life."

They laugh and Kenna comes outside to join them, rubbing her shoulders for warmth. She gives Matthew a smile as she comes to stand beside Bash, almost leaning into his side.

"Talking about Diane?" She asks them.

"Yes," Matthew says. "I wish I had a chance to know her. She seemed like she was a great person."

Kenna turns to Bash. "The kids are asleep. It's getting late."

He checks his watch. "Oh. Matthew, why don't you and Di-Ann stay?"

"We've booked a hotel room," Matthew tells him. "Thanks for the offer though. We might take you up on it in a few weeks time when the kids are off school."

"Yeah, sure," Bash says. "Shall I walk you both out?"

Matthew nods. "I'd like that."

...

"Normal."

Kenna looks up from her phone. "What?"

"He's normal," Bash mumbles.

"Who, Matthew?"

"Yes."

Kenna laughs. "What did you expect?"

Bash shrugs. "I don't know. Not that, I guess?"

"You mean, you expected him to be just as dysfunctional as the rest of your family members," Kenna states lightly. "I get it. Matthew is a normal lawyer who lives a normal, boring life. Something you wanted, right?"

"By normal, boring life, you mean the job, the wife, the kids... Yeah, but nothing about us is normal," Bash replies. "I don't know... We get along, so that's good. I'm scared about introducing him to our sisters."

Kenna places her phone down. "You need them to understand that this is exactly what they need. Your mother wanted this, and they need to respect that."

"Hmm," he hums, switching his lamp off. "Kenna, would you like it if you met Pascal next week?"

Kenna nods. "I would. I've got to meet the little boy who's stolen a part of my husband's heart as soon as possible," she teases him. "Thank you for slowing down."

"No, I should thank you. I need this, but I can't keep doing things like that - too quickly. Anyway, goodnight."

"Goodnight, mon amour," Kenna whispers, turning her lamp off.

She lays down and pulls the duvet to her chin, turning on her side. A smile grows on her face when she feels herself being pulled across the bed towards her husband and she giggles when Bash's lips meet a ticklish spot on her neck.

"Bash!" She whisper-yells. "Go to sleep!"

"I'd rather do something else other than sleep," he says, nipping at her ear.

"Well, I can't obviously decline that," she replies, turning to kiss him.

...

Kenna bites her lip nervously, watching as the kids stare at her in awe, curiosity or something else she can't put her finger on. She turns to Bash who takes it in his stride, reading a magazine about something as they wait for Pascal and his caregiver.

"They're staring at me," she mumbles under her breath.

"They're kids," Bash replies. "They won't attack you."

Kenna scoffs lightly. "No, but they can judge harshly. Is this blazer too much? It feels like it's too much."

"I will say this for the tenth time, you look great. A bit too formal for a kid, but it's fine. You're making an effort and I'm grateful for that," he tells her, taking one of her shaking hands. "It's just like we're meeting Adrien or Perrine for the first time. With patience, love and joy."

Kenna tuts. "Cheesy," she says, letting out a grin. "But how can you love Pascal already? Did you get attached that quickly?"

"He's a great kid. I guess, I saw myself in him. He's obsessed with things I love and he was born in Paris. I don't know, we have a connection and his social worker said he was very quiet and reserved until I met him."

Kenna gives him a bright smile. "You see? And you said you were a crappy father."

"Well, I'm Superdad now aren't I?" He retorts with a smile.

Before she can reply, Pascal's caregiver comes out of the office and leads them into the living room where Pascal waits patiently. As soon as his eyes land on Kenna, he's transfixed.

Kenna is just as in awe as she sits down right across from him on the other sofa, not wanting to invade his space. She notes that Bash sits right beside him and places a tender hand on the boy's head.

"Hi, Pascal," Bash says softly. "This is Kenna. My wife."

Kenna gives the boy a little wave. "I've been wanting to meet you for a while," she says. "Hi."

Pascal turns to Bash. "She's everything I dreamt she would be."

"Yeah?" Bash asks, relieved.

The boy nods. "Pretty. Kind. Her eyes are warm, like my mum's used to be before she died."

"I'm so sorry you lost your mum. At such a young age too," Kenna says.

"It's fine. I don't remember her much, but her eyes were kind," Pascal tells her, bringing a large book onto his lap. "Do you like horses, Kenna?"

Kenna laughs. "I do," she says, sending her husband a knowing look. "Do you know that I have one? She's called Celeste and she's really big and beautiful."

"Bash says he'll take me to the stables one day," Pascal tells her. "I've always wanted a horse. That and a family."

Tears spring to Kenna's eyes. "How long have you been in care, Pascal?" She knows the answer already, but she wants to know it from his lips.

Pascal looks down. "I don't know. I don't count. But I've seen people come and go. This is my fourth home."

Kenna sniffles, planting a smile on her face. "So, horses and you are French. Do you speak-"

"Comment vous appelez-vous?"

Kenna grins. "That's simple, though."

"I was starting a conversation," Pascal tells her, laughing. "But okay..."

He then turns to Bash and he starts a conversation in French with him. Kenna understands, laughing when they laugh and rolling her eyes when they say how pretty she is.

"Who taught you how to speak French?" Kenna asks him.

"Mon père," he mumbles sadly. "He wasn't a good man. Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Yes, how about that trip I've planned for you and our kids," Bash says, making Kenna's eyebrows raise. "To the zoo?"

Pascal nods. "I'd have to bring my book about zoos, but I can come if I ask my caregivers. I'll see if I can get some allowance to buy something. We get allowances every start of the month. I get five pounds and I save it."

"What do you save it for?" Kenna asks him.

"Flowers for my mum," Pascal says. "She was really nice. Did I tell you that?"

She shakes her head. "No," she whispers. "That's sweet."

Bash clears his throat. "Don't worry about money. If you see something you want, we'll buy it for you."

"Yeah," Kenna says, agreeing with him. "It's a day about you. Don't worry about anything."

Kenna fingers one of the necklaces around her neck and she unlatches it, placing it gently onto her right palm. It's got a cross pendant and she eyes Pascal as he brings Bash's attention to something in his book.

"Pascal?"

"Yes, Mrs Kenna?"

"'Kenna' is more than fine," she says. "Uh, are you religious?"

Pascal shakes his head. "My dad said bad things about religion. I was scared to tell him that my mum gave me a Bible. He found out and I never saw it again."

"We're Catholic," Kenna tells him. "And I want to give you this."

She reaches over the coffee table and places the necklace into his hand. She sees him clutch it tightly and open his palm to stare at the item as if it was precious life he needed to protect.

"When you miss us, rub on that and we'll be thinking about you too," she tells him gently. "I know you've just met me, but I can tell that you have a bright future ahead of you. One that is happy, beautiful, successful... You're destined for great things, Pascal and if it's with Bash and me and our children or not, you'll make it."

Pascal gets up, launching himself into her arms and she hugs him tightly, lacing a hand on the back of his head as her eyes meet Bash's eyes. She loves when he's right sometimes because now her heart has been taken by this little boy as well and she doesn't even mind.

"You're so brave, Pascal," she whispers into his ears. "So brave."


	34. Chapter 34

**So, this story will end in the next chapter. It's been a journey, a beautiful one and it is time to focus on my other fics for this fandom. I do have a story in the works set to be released for the Christmas period and then perhaps another for the New Year's but right now, Eighteen and ATEOTB will be updated frequently. Replies to reviews will be in the last chapter to end on a lovely note!**

* * *

"Bash!"

Bash stops typing and places his laptop on the other side of the bed, getting out of it and heading downstairs.

"Bash, come quick!"

"What is it? Is it a spider?" He asks, ready to collect something to get rid of it.

"No, just come!" Kenna calls out.

Bash rolls his eyes playfully and enters the kitchen to see his wife standing there with their daughter on her hip. "What is it?"

"Say it again, baby. Can you say 'dada'?" Kenna says, turning to Perrine.

Bash gasps. "Wait-"

"Shh!" Kenna hushes him. "Say 'dada' again."

And then she says it and all that the couple feel is joy and relief. Tears spring to Bash's eyes as he lifts Perrine from Kenna and hugs her, pressing a long kiss on her head.

"We both knew that she could be behind, but she's right on track," Kenna says softly, wiping her own tears. "She said it out of nowhere, I was just feeding her some breakfast and she called for you. I didn't even realise until she turned to me and..."

Bash brings his wife to his side, pressing a kiss on her lips. "She's fine, Kenna."

"I know," Kenna whispers, letting out a sob. "We've already been through so much with her. I feel so stupid for being excited about her saying 'dada'."

"It's understandable," Bash replies. "God, the way you called for me had me fearing the worst."

She laughs a little. "Sorry. I just couldn't believe it. She's nine months old already and sometimes I get scared that she isn't like the other babies or she's too clingy... but she isn't. She's special and she's independent and I'm losing her."

"Losing her?" Bash asks. "What are you on about? She's a baby."

Kenna shrugs. "Adrien grew up quickly. I feel like we weren't there enough for him... I still think that we're not there enough for him. I mean, he tucked himself in when Matthew and Di-Ann came. And now we're seriously talking about bringing Pascal into our family... I don't want to lose them. I've almost lost them many times, I can't deal with that heartache."

"I'm going to call in sick at work," Bash starts. "Then, I will inform Adrien's school that he has an emergency doctor's or dentist's appointment. But Kenna, this will only be the _once_."

Kenna's eyes widen and she nods quickly. "Uh, yes. Thank you so much!" She kisses him and lets out a cheeky grin. "Let's wait an hour because you look _really_ good in those pyjama trousers."

Bash looks down at his very belated Christmas-themed clothing choice. "Well, my wife has great taste. Even if it turns her on."

...

It's a lazy Tuesday in their home and all day, they go about in their pyjamas and watch films and eat all the sweets and unhealthy snacks and meals they want. It makes Kenna happy and soon, their sofa will be warm with yet another small body to occupy it.

"Hey, we should start looking for a new house," she tells Bash whilst Adrien's eyes are transfixed on the Disney film they watch.

Bash turns to his wife. "I've barely lived in this one," he says lightly. "But I also agree. I've got used to having Francis close by, we could look for bigger houses around or... in other towns."

Kenna blinks in surprise. "Are they expanding their search?"

"They've found a house," Bash admits. "Well, it's a surprise for Mary. Seven-bed in the Cambridgeshire countryside. It's perfect. It has a tennis court and an annexe, Francis and I went to see it and he made an offer that was accepted."

"Oh," Kenna whispers breathlessly. "That's _far_."

"Francis was planning on staying in the immediate area because of the kids' private school, but the more he thought of it, he wanted a life similar to the one we had in France. The fresh air, the stables nearby, the tennis court and swimming lessons in our private lands and the local highly respected boarding and private school..." Bash trails off. "He has four kids, it's understandable he'd want privacy, especially with our jobs."

Kenna frowns a little. "But here, we have seven-bedroom homes as well! And they're all modern with large gardens and-"

"Kenna, what if we moved there as well? I saw a great eight-bed house just right next door. It comes with two pools - outdoor and indoor, a gym, two offices so we both have enough space to work. It's a little bit of a fixer-upper-"

"But... What about Lola and Greer and my _brother_?" Kenna asks him. "Adrien has _finally_ settled into this school. He's popular and has friends-"

"He can make new ones and it's not like he will be all alone in another new school," Bash gently tells her. "He will have his cousins and soon, his new older brother. And Lola, Greer and Alexander can visit anytime."

Kenna bites her lip and runs a hand through Adrien's hair. She notes that he's fallen asleep and she's relieved because she isn't ready for his input yet. She knows it won't be as accepting.

"He's been in and out of school for the past two years, Bash. It will mess up his routine. He'll start acting out again... Can we put a pause to this for now? I was thinking that we'd be moving up the road, not to another town that is miles and miles away."

"It's closer to Scotland than here," Bash tries.

Kenna laughs wryly. "A pro, but not enough to change my mind just yet. We will see what Mary says."

"Kenna."

"What?"

"It's only roughly two hours away from here," Bash informs her. "It's not that far. I promise this will be great for our family. I haven't done anything rash, but I did tell the seller that I was considering taking another look at the house. Think about it, you, me, Pascal, Adrien and Perrine... In the tennis court or swimming in one of our pools. A proper family. And we'll have space for our horses because it has its own stable. We'll literally be a couple of seconds drive down the road from Francis, Mary and the kids."

Kenna smiles a little. "I guess it is a nice idea."

"Yeah?"

"But as you said, we are _considering_," she tells him. "You need to book the tickets for the zoo this weekend. We should plan for an afternoon out and evening in. The morning is out of the question, I have work."

"Oh, yeah. Sure," Bash replies, turning to the TV.

Kenna sighs, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "I will think deeply about this offer. Maybe I might be swayed into seeing the house for myself."

"Really?" Bash asks, turning to her again. "A-Are you sure?"

She nods slowly. "I guess. I mean, it wouldn't hurt to see what we want in a home. This will potentially be our forever home, we need to get it right."

"We do," Bash agrees. "And it needs to be beneficial for all of us. So, if you don't want this, then I won't railroad you into leaving. As you said, we have friends and family here and it will be hard."

"And at the same time, we'll have family over there as well..." Kenna whispers. "We'll talk about it, okay?"

"Okay. That's all I want."

Kenna smiles. "Okay."

...

As they park, Kenna asks, "Should I go and get him or should you? Or do we go as a family?"

Bash turns to her. "I guess we could see him in his element."

"So family front it is," Kenna breathes out, getting out of their car.

She closes the door and opens the backdoor to unstrap Perrine from her car seat as Bash helps Adrien undo his belt and booster. As a family, they go over to the front door and Adrien rings the doorbell.

"Remember, Little Man, Pascal could potentially become your older brother so you have to be nice to him," Bash says to their son. "But if you don't want this, we can stop at any time."

Kenna smiles softly. "I'm sure the boys will hit it off."

The door opens and Pascal's female careworker gives them a bright, but winded smile as she lets them inside. She leads them into the kitchen where the children are having their lunch and Pascal packs his.

"It's a bit full here," the careworker says apologetically. "But Pascal is prepped and ready to go!"

Adrien looks around, his eyes falling on Pascal as many of the children eye the family. "Bonjour."

Pascal looks surprised, but he smiles at Adrien, holding his hand out. "Bonjour," he replies, shaking Adrien's hand. "I am Pascal."

"I am Adrien," Adrien says quietly. "And that's my sister, Perrine Aveline but we all call her Perrine."

"She's small," Pascal states, eyeing the baby.

Kenna chuckles. "She is, but she's healthy," she says, kissing her daughter's head. "Are you excited about the zoo?"

"I am," he tells her.

"That's awesome. And after, when we drop you back here, we have something to talk about," Bash informs him.

"What is it?"

Bash gives Kenna quick glance. "Uh, we'll talk about that this evening. Should we get going?"

Pascal nods and takes his packed lunch which Bash immediately carries for him. "You don't have to."

"I would do it for Adrien and Perrine," Bash says warmly. "Do you have any allergies or things we should know about before we leave?"

Pascal shrugs. "I'm allergic to apples."

"Well, it's a good thing that we didn't buy any apples because we got lazy and forgot to go shopping," Kenna says lightly.

"We have oranges," Adrien states, pulling Bash out of the hall.

Pascal follows on, turning to his careworkers who give him encouraging smiles. He smiles back and follows after Adrien and Bash with Kenna and Perrine behind him.

When he sees their car, he gasps. "Is that a _Tesla_?"

"It is," Kenna says happily. "It's my car, I thought it would be easier to drive around in London."

Pascal nods excitedly and gets in, going through the middle to get to the furthest seats. "Can I sit alone at the back?"

"But I wanted to sit with you and show you my Match Attax cards," Adrien tells him.

Bash and Kenna share a look before he says, "Why don't you show him the cards this evening after the zoo? I think Pascal wants to admire the interior a bit."

Adrien nods sadly and allows his father to strap him into his booster. "Fine."

"Don't be glum," Kenna says, strapping Perrine in. "He's just excited to be in a car like this. He doesn't get many opportunities."

"How rich are you?" Pascal asks them.

Bash falters. "I, uh... Well, I run my family's business and Kenna owns her own event planning company. If you take money out of the equation, we're a normal family."

Kenna nods, smiling brightly. "All ready to go?"

Pascal does his seatbelt. "Yes. Locked and loaded."

"Look, the only kid we don't need to spend time faffing about to strap in," Kenna says lightly, making Adrien scowl. "One day, you'll do it yourself, baby."

"I'm _not_ a baby!" Adrien cries out, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Sure acting like one," Bash mutters, closing the backdoor and getting into the driver's seat as Kenna shuts the other door.

She eyes Adrien look away from her through the window and sighs, getting into the passenger seat. She takes her phone and sends a quick text to her husband.

{To Bash (Husband): **Let's dial it down a bit. I think he's jealous and feeling a bit ignored.**}

Bash checks his phone and turns to her with a nod. "Adrien, why don't you pick out a radio station for us?"

"No thanks," the boy mumbles.

Kenna sighs and rests her head on the window. "Just leave it off."

"Yeah," Bash replies.

...

By the time they see most of the animals, Adrien is in higher spirits and makes an effort with Pascal. He understands that they both need space and time to get to know each other but he hates how his parents are willing to drop everything to cater to the other boy.

If he is to be his new brother, would it always be like this? With Pascal always getting his way?

"Hey, what's your favourite animal that we've seen so far," Pascal asks him.

Adrien shrugs. "The penguins."

"They were cool, weren't they?" Pascal says. "My mum liked penguins. I think she used to take me to the zoo a lot but I don't remember."

"Where is she?"

"She's... she's dead," Pascal mumbles sadly.

"I'm sorry," Adrien tells him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "My mum and dad broke up and I went to live with my mum for a while before going to live with my dad in France and then my mum again and now we are happy."

Pascal frowns. "They broke up?"

"Yes," Adrien says. "They weren't happy. They argued all the time and... they said mean things about each other. But then they had Perrine and everything is better. They got married again and they went on a honeymoon and we stayed with our grandparents. Then Meme died and they were sad but then Papa found out he had another brother! Then he was all happy again and now, they want you."

Pascal gasps, disregarding everything the other boy has said except the last part. "They... want _me_?"

Adrien nods. "They keep saying that you'll be my new brother. And that we'll move houses and buy a bigger one with swimming pools and loads of space for our horses!"

Pascal stares at him in shock before he starts crying. It makes Kenna turn away from the spider monkeys to look at him in alarm. She taps Bash's shoulder and hurries over, kneeling down to check Pascal for any injuries.

"What is it, mon petit chou?" She asks, cupping his cheeks.

Pascal fingers the necklace she gave him. "You want to be my family?" He asks shakily.

Kenna gasps, turning to Bash. "Who told you that?"

"Adrien," Pascal says. "Is it true? You want me?"

Bash pushes the buggy closer to them and joins Kenna in kneeling down before the boys. "Yes, it is," he replies.

"We were hoping to talk to you about that this evening," Kenna tells him, sharing a glance with Bash before looking back at Pascal, her eyes watering. "You like it?"

Pascal looks down at the cross pendant and nods. "I do."

"My... my Mamó gave me that," she informs him. "She was the strongest person I knew before she died. She became very ill and forgot about us but she saw me wearing that necklace and she remembered me. It's very special to me and I wouldn't give it to just anyone. It's protected me and I wanted it to protect you because... I feel like everything happens for a reason. God put you in our lives for a reason and you're special. We can help each other heal, all of us."

Pascal sniffles and leans forward to hug Bash tightly as Kenna turns away to wipe her tears. He feels Bash's arms wrap around him and then he feels another pair.

Letting go, he sees Adrien giving him a shy smile. "I thought you didn't like me?"

"My mum is a good judge of character," Adrien says simply. "I trust her."

"What about me?" Bash asks, ruffling his son's hair.

"Meh," the boy replies, shrugging.

Bash turns to Pascal. "So?"

"So...?"

"Do you want to be adopted by us?" Kenna asks him hopefully.

Pascal smiles widely. "Yes, please."

"Oh, God," Kenna breathes out, hugging him tightly. "Well, the next step will be to have you live with us for ten weeks and then we can apply for an adoption court order-"

"We can talk about that with his social worker later," Bash cuts her off. "For now, I think this calls for a celebration. Who wants to adopt an animal?"

"I do!" The boys say.

Bash chuckles. "I went on the website and saw quite a good few options from tigers, lions, gorillas to sloths."

"I want to adopt the penguins!" Adrien says excitedly.

"I want to adopt the gorillas," Pascal says, laughing.

Bash turns to Kenna. "Babe?"

"Oh, I guess I could go for the tigers and Perri wants the lions?" Kenna says. "It's a great way to protect the animals in the wild. And it's a wonderful gift that won't clutter up the house. Your toy boxes are overspilling, I wish I sorted them out when we came from France."

Adrien giggles. "Can we also have fizzy drinks?"

"No," his parents say.

Adrien turns to Pascal. "It was worth a try."

Bash laughs, lifting both boys into his arms. "I think before we do that, we need to do one important thing."

"What?" Pascal asks him.

"Take a family picture," he says before smiling brightly. "Or _prenez une photo de famille!_"

Pascal smiles sadly. "I've never had a family picture."

"That changes today," Kenna tells him, grinning.

...

"Look at them," Kenna whispers as she and Bash watch the boys fast asleep on the twin beds in Adrien's room. They have remodelled it a bit to accommodate Pascal for whenever he visits. Tonight, they were allowed to have him have a sleepover. "They're so special."

Bash kisses the side of her head. "They are," he replies just as quietly. "I can't believe it."

"Neither can I," Kenna says, laughing a little as she turns to face him. "Your mum would have loved him."

Bash nods. "She really would," he says, stepping away from the door so she can close it. "We have a lovely new photo up on the mantlepiece."

"We do," Kenna says happily. "I thought that we were rushing into this but it feels _right_. I can't think of anything better for us to do than be parents to a third child. We've had our ups and downs but this is really good."

"It is," he says, leading her downstairs. He heads over to the radio and turns it on, fiddling around with the stations before he finds a good one and offers her his hand. "Shall we dance?"

"Oh, we're one of those parents," Kenna tells him, laughing as she takes his hand and they start to sway around the room.

She pulls away from his chest and looks up into his green eyes. "So green."

"So brown," he whispers in kind.

Closing her eyes, she kisses him softly. "I love you," she says against his lips.

"I love _you_," he states, pressing his lips against hers.

"If we buy that house now, we can have it ready by the time the adoption is finalised within about three months or so," she says, smiling softly.

Bash gasps. "Y-You want to move?"

"I've done my research after we went to see the house. And today put things into perspective. I can see us, I see us waiting by the backdoors as we watch the boys on their horses and Perrine roam about on the grass, intrigued at the world around her," Kenna tells him. "I see us singing Christmas carols in the formal living room and watching movies in the informal one. I see myself in that beautiful farmhouse styled kitchen, baking and cooking dinner or breakfast every day. And that office with the view of the garden... We used to have a fairytale life in France before everything went sour, I want that fairytale back. For good."

Bash rests his head against hers. "I do too."

"Oh, I love this song," she says, listening to the song that's just come on. "Perfect by Ed Sheeran."

Bash smiles, leading her outside and kicking his shoes off. "Go on, take them off."

Kenna does. "What is this?" She asks, amused.

Bash takes her hands and pulls her further into the garden, their feet on the grass. "My mother taught me how to be free. The outdoors, my paradise just perfect for that."

"Bash..."

"May I have this dance where there is no music because the radio isn't loud enough to reach outside?" Bash asks her.

Kenna giggles. "You may," she says shakily, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"You're strong, you're perfect. One look and I know I'm safe, I know I'm certain," he tells her. "You've taught me so much. And I hope to learn even more from you."

"Bash," Kenna whispers, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I stepped on something disgusting."

"Oh!" He says, laughing as they look down. "Do you think it's those damned foxes again?"

She nods, gagging. "Urgh. And here was us, wanting to get a dog."

"We can! The house also has kennels-"

"Of course, it does," Kenna says, laughing. "You've already sold the dream, you don't need to keep going on about it."

Bash chuckles, lifting her up into his arms. "I'll never stop going on about it because _you_ are my dream."

"For fuck's sake," she mutters lightly, kissing him. "Now take me inside and wash my feet because it's starting to smell and it feels disgusting."

"As you wish, mon ciel étoilé," he says, making her look up at the sky.

"There're no stars," she states.

He laughs. "Use your imagination. That and we have Perrine's nightlight that makes the stars."

"Okay..." Kenna says, grinning. "Let's watch the stars."

...

Two months later, on the 18th of April and six days after Easter, Kenna gasps when she hears liquid pour onto the floor and sees her best friend looking down at it in shock. They both look at each other and at the water and at each other and Kenna grabs her phone.

"Not yet," Mary says. "Don't you dare call Francis."

"What? Why?" Kenna asks, dialling '999' instead.

Mary rolls her eyes. "They are in this important meeting and I don't want to disturb him-"

"His fourth child is arriving, Mary. I think he would want to be disturbed!" Kenna tells her.

"Hold off on the emergency services, I haven't even started my-ah!"

"Right," Kenna says, cancelling the call. "Contractions, right."

Mary looks at her in disbelief. "Haven't you done this twice before?"

Kenna gives her a look. "My first one, I was unconscious and woke up in a hospital where they suddenly told me to push. The second time was a C-Section."

"Right," Mary replies, nodding and biting down on her lip. "Fair enough. Ow, ow, ow!"

"Okay, how about you walk it off?"

"Am I a dog? Do I look like a dog?" Mary snaps.

Kenna holds her hands up. "Jesus, Mary."

"I'm sorry," Mary whines. "It never gets easier. It gets worse and my back kills and it hurts...!"

"Deep breaths-"

"Bitch, please," Mary says.

Kenna snorts. "I'm rubbing off on you," she replies. "Do you want some music? I have whalesong music from when I was expecting Adrien. Thought it would be good for his cognitive-"

"You're so weird sometimes, do you know that?" Mary asks her, laughing slightly. "Oh my God, by July, we'll be moving into our new homes in the middle of nowhere. H-H-How is the adoption process going again?"

Kenna beams. "Really well. Pascal loves staying with us and soon it will be forever! It was nice for you guys to invite us over so he could get to know John, James and Anne. Speaking of them, have you got a name for Baby yet? Or even a gender?"

"Francis and I want it to be a surprise. We already have one of each, we don't really mind what we have," Mary says, breathing through the pain. "Dear God, take away the pain!"

"If it's a boy, you could go with the 'J' theme. Joseph, Jeremiah and a whole bunch of lovely Bible names."

Mary laughs. "Francis said 'Simon', you know, his middle name."

"Does he want your child to be bullied?"

"That's what I asked," Mary tells her. "Simone is nice though. For a girl. Francis and I have names but we will reveal them in due time."

Kenna nods. "Alright, how far apart are these contractions."

"Far enough-ahhhhh!"

"That was about five minutes," Kenna states. "We should think about calling Francis."

Mary glares at her. "Not yet! God, I need to pee so bad as well!"

"Then go! It's not like the baby is going to come out. Wait, can the baby come out?"

"Kenna!"

"I'm joking," Kenna laughs, taking her arms and walking with her back towards the downstairs loo. "Do you need help?"

Mary nods. "The one day I choose to wear a damn jumpsuit. I wanted to look cute!" She cries.

Kenna laughs at her. "You're still cute, Marvellous Mary."

"Go on."

"Majestic Mary."

"Yeah?" Mary says, sniffling as they enter the bathroom and close the door. No unexpected guests in the form of the children who are in the garden oblivious to what is happening. They do not need to be alarmed just yet.

Kenna grins, unzipping the jumpsuit as Mary takes over. "Magnificent Mary."

"This is really helping," Mary says, sitting on the toilet. "Positive mindful thinking. My birthing coach-"

"You have a birthing coach?"

Mary nods, rolling her eyes. "Catherine got one for me during the baby shower. Francis told me to grin and bear it and accept it."

"Did they help? The birthing coach, not that I would ever need one," Kenna asks.

Mary smiles sadly. "Uh, they did. A little. Oh, and don't call the contractions that, we call them _surges_."

"What the fuck?"

"Hey! Do _not_ swear in front of my un... Okay, the pee is coming out."

Kenna laughs. "I love our friendship. It's got to the point when I can not even look away as you pee and probably pee your child out-"

"Kenna!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. I will shut up."

Mary smiles, sighing in relief. "Bladder is empty and now I need help getting back up."

Kenna gently pulls her up. "God, look at all of this baby weight. This may be your biggest size yet."

"Kenna!"

"What?" Kenna asks, laughing. "This baby is _huge_. I hope you won't need stitches."

Mary glares at her. "Shut up. I had stitches with Anne."

"Adrien destroyed my womanhood," Kenna says. "Five stitches, Mary. _Five_. At least I wasn't awake for it."

"I don't know how she will take it," Mary mumbles, letting Kenna take the jumpsuit off as she puts a spare robe on instead. "Anne has been distant from me. She prefers Francis to carry her or read her bedtime stories."

Kenna nods sadly. "Adrien was clingy when I had Perrine. Seems like Anne is trying to be independent but reliant on Francis only. It happens, don't worry about it. She'll make her way back to you."

"I hope soooooo...!"

"Breathe, Mary. Breathe through the surges," Kenna tells her, giggles threatening to leave her lips.

"Mckenna Marie-Oh my God," Mary whispers.

Kenna frowns. "What is it?"

Mary points at the door where the handle is missing. "Where's the handle?"

Kenna gasps. "Oh, the boys were playing hide and seek and broke it last week. Bash was supposed to fix it but he had to go into work all week. Shit!"

"We're locked in here?!" Mary cries out, eyes wide. "No...!"

"It's fine," Kenna says, patting her pockets. "I have my phone... I don't have my phone."

"Kenna, don't joke with me right now."

Kenna falters, turning to the door. "Uh, children?! Anyone?!"

"James! John!"

"Adrien, Pascal!" Kenna calls out, banging on the door. "I'm sorry, Mary."

Mary shakes her head. "I hate you so much right now," she says lightly.

"I know," Kenna replies, laughing. "Look at us."

"This is just like last time," Mary whines sadly. "I thought I learnt my lesson."

Kenna turns to her. "Worst case scenario, Baby is born in this very bathroom and Bash and I are relieved that we're in the process of moving to another house so won't be reminded of the blood and shit all over this floor. We just have to wait until one of the kids come back inside. I really hope Perrine is still napping."

"Kenna," Mary whispers. "They're getting closer."

"I... I have no experience in childbirth-"

"Kenna."

"I mean, I really don't want to," Kenna says. "This is a new dress and... Fine. I will help you give birth _again_."

Mary smiles in relief. "At least I sent you the bill for the dry cleaning."

"Don't worry about this one. I intend to burn this," Kenna jokes, grabbing towels. "Bash is obsessed with towels. The funny thing is, he wears the smallest one so it's easy to pull down and I can-"

"Kenna, I do not want to hear about your sex life right now," Mary tells her.

"Alright, keep your hair on!"

Mary sends her a stern glare as she watches Kenna lay down towels by the bathtub. "Is the floor a comfortable twenty-five degrees Celcius?"

"You what?"

"I'm joking," Mary says, giggling as Kenna helps her sit down.

Kenna playfully rolls her eyes and gets more towels and runs the bath, retrieving a bowl for hot water. "Everything will be alright, Mary. Just keep an ear out for the kids," she says, putting the bathroom heater on and placing the other towels on it.

"When I'm screaming bloody murder?" Mary chuckles. "I wanted a birthing pool."

"Why?"

"Never had one," Mary says, shrugging before she hisses in pain. "Have a look."

Kenna raises her eyebrows. "Mary, I love you but I am-"

"Take a fucking look!"

Kenna gulps and lifts up the top of the robe and checks. "Yep, that baby is coming very imminently. Damn, is that what it really looks like? How can our bodies do that? That's _wide_!"

"Do you mind?" Mary asks. "How big?"

"About seven or eight centimetres dilated. Bitch, I don't have a ruler, I don't know."

"You've had _two_ kids and at least one vaginal birth, Kenna! How do you not know?"

Kenna shrugs. "I've never seen myself from that point of view. I can ask Bash," she says lightly.

"How on Earth did you help me last time?"

"Now, you see, that was mostly Lola and Greer. I more or less took James and spread all that goop all over me as they focused on you," Kenna jests. "As a good luck charm to have Adrien. Yeah, that makes sense."

"At this point, I want a cartoon villain to help me give birth than you," Mary replies. "Call the kids!"

Kenna gets up and bangs on the door. "Children! Children we gave birth to and otherwise!"

"Well?"

"They're still outside."

Mary rolls her eyes. "For the love of God," she then swallows deeply in pain. "This baby is coming. I can't, I can't-I need to push. Like, _now_."

Kenna says a quick prayer before kneeling in front of Mary and checking. "Yep, that baby is crowning."

"Why are you stating the fucking obvious?"

"Hey, don't swear."

Mary blinks in mortification. "Are you serious right now?"

Kenna winks at her and takes one of her hands. "When I tell you to, you push."

She reaches her other hand for one of the towels that are warm and faces Mary again, giving her a comforting smile.

"Everything will be okay, Mary. I am here-"

"I don't want you to be here," Mary says, crying.

"I know," Kenna replies. "I don't want to be here either but you're stuck with me. Just like you've been since you were born." Tears spring to her eyes. "This is crazy."

Mary nods. "It really is," she whispers, groaning. "I need to push."

Kenna nods, squeezing her hand comfortingly. "Alright, push."

And Mary pushes.

...

Mary laughs in joy, looking up at Kenna before looking back down at her towel wrapped baby. "Call those fucking kids to help us out of here."

Kenna laughs, washing her hands. "On it," she says, going to the door and banging on it.

"Mum?" John calls out. "Mum, where are you? Auntie Kenna! I'm thirsty!"

"Your kid is lazy," Kenna states, turning to face her friend. "John Philip Valois!"

"Auntie Kenna?!"

"He gets that from Francis," Mary tells her quickly. "John, darling! We're in the downstairs bathroom!"

Kenna places her ear against the door and hears footsteps come closer. "Sweetheart, we're locked in. Can you grab my phone from the kitchen counter and call your dad for me, please? Oh and an ambulance."

"Are you hurt?" John asks in alarm.

"No, but you have a new sibling, Johnny!"

John gasps. "I'm getting the phone!"

"Good lad!" Kenna tells him, turning back to Mary. "He's getting the phone."

"I heard," Mary says, laughing as she eyes her baby. "Look at those brown eyes... My eyes."

The baby yawns and closes their eyes, making the women swoon happily.

"I wish I could have another one," Kenna says softly. "Nothing beats the feeling of pushing an eight-pound kid out of you. Or having it cut out of you. But that pure, innocent, little face is worth it."

Mary sobs. "It is. It really is."

"Are you going to tell me the name?"

"Not yet," Mary whispers, brushing a finger of her newborn's cheek.

"Auntie Kenna! I have your phone! Do I make the calls now?"

Kenna stares at the door in disbelief. "This child... Yes, John. Call your father and '999'. Your father is in my emergency contacts, number five."

"Okay!" John calls out. "Hello? Daddy? Mama and Auntie Kenna are locked in the toilet in Auntie Kenna and Uncle Bash's house. Oh, and Mama had the baby."

"At least he's straight to the point," Mary says, making them laugh. "I can imagine Francis freaking out."

Kenna nods. "'_What?_ Your mother had the baby? She's locked in the bathroom? Bash, we need to go ASAP! Our wives need us, they're suffering, they're dying in the toilet! Sebastian! No, Sebastian, we will _not_ be making a stop at Starbucks. Although, I wouldn't mind a soy latte. My personal assistant didn't make a nice one this morning before the meeting so my morning is all ruined!'"

Mary laughs loudly, jolting her child awake. "Oh, no. Sorry, baby. So sorry. Go back to sleep, darling," she whispers, eyeing Kenna. "You've got my husband spot on. Starbucks is his weakness."

"I've called Daddy, Mama!"

"Good boy, John!"

"I will call the '999', now!"

Kenna nods. "Yes, do that right now! Call _the_ '999' now." She looks at Mary. "And let's see who gets here first."

...

Kenna smiles, standing up from her seat to hug Bash tightly. "Did Catherine use the jet?"

"She did. She and Claude are looking after all of the kids, and I've cleared our schedules for the rest of the weekend," he says, kissing her. "I heard you played midwife."

"I did."

"Was it crazy?"

She laughs. "It was. Mary and I couldn't stop bickering but it's a once in a lifetime experience. Or twice for me, but I wasn't much help the first time around."

"What do we have?"

"I can't tell you," Kenna says softly, kissing his lips. "They'll let everyone else know in a bit. They just need some time as a family."

"Kenna, don't make me tickle it out of you."

Kenna giggles. "We have another niece."

"We do? Oh, that's amazing," Bash says happily. "Although Queen Anne will have something to say about that."

Kenna nods. "She will. God, the baby is so beautiful. Brown eyes, blonde fluffs of hair. She's all Mary but with your side's blonde hair."

"Remember when Adi had blonde hair?"

"Although I never slept with any man other than you, I did question it sometimes until your mother showed me pictures from when you were a baby," Kenna tells him. "It's Henry you both got it from. He was born blonde too. I know that because he told me."

Bash tightens his grip on her a little. He doesn't need to be jealous of a dead man, but he still feels awkward about their former relationship. "Has Mary told you a name?"

"No," Kenna mumbles sadly. "I tried but she wouldn't budge."

"Bash, Kenna?"

They turn and see Francis standing by the open door.

"Come and meet your new niece. Or again for you Kenna considering you held her first," Francis tells them.

Kenna beams and leads Bash inside, Francis heading inside to perch on the side of the bed where Mary holds their new daughter in her arms. She looks much better and less sweaty than before, Mary immediately knowing that is what her friend is thinking right now.

"No stitches," she says.

"Good one, lass," Kenna replies. "Well? Name?"

Mary shares a warm glance with her husband. "Rose."

"Rose Anaïs Valois," Francis says."Our little grace."

Kenna takes a shaky breath, tears stinging her eyes. "That's so beautiful."

"It really is," Bash says. "She's beautiful. Congratulations." He moves from Kenna to hug his brother tightly and then Mary, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Well, two new kids added to the family. Our move to Cambridgeshire is going to be quite a journey."

"We have seven kids between us. Our siblings need to start working," Francis says lightly. "I am closed for business."

"I was put out of business."

Kenna turns to her husband. "That's right."

Bash chuckles, sending her a quick. "Don't worry. The only woman I'd ever want to carry my children is you. Even if you can't anymore but the thought still counts right?"

"Shut up," Kenna says with a smile.

"Uh, so I'd like to introduce you both to my half-brother from my mother," Bash tells the other couple. "We've been getting to know each other better these past few months and I think he's ready to meet our half-sisters and... well, my paternal side of the family."

Francis nods. "I'd love to meet him properly," he says. "How about July? I'm sure the kids would all be off then. I'm not sure if UK and US holidays interlink."

"I'll ask Matthew," Bash says. "It will be great for the kids to meet their cousins. I think that Louise and Frankie are considering it."

"They're warming up to the idea of having an older brother?"

"A little. I understand their feelings, but he's family and this is what our mother wanted," Bash replies. "She kept him from us for so long, it did more damage than good and she realised that at the end."

Francis smiles sadly. "No matter what, I'll try and get along with him. Here's to hoping he isn't as headstrong as Louise and Frankie."

"He's pretty decent from what I know so far," Bash says. "But I'll let you make your own opinions of him."

Kenna pats his shoulder. "We should go. You know how Pascal gets around new people without us," she says, giving him a pointed look.

"Oh, yes," Bash says, shifting so he makes his way over to the door. "We'll leave you guys to it. Don't worry about the kids, they can chill at ours until Catherine takes them over to yours."

Mary gives them a warm smile. "Thank you so much. Honestly, you're a big part of our lives and... Francis and I decided that..."

"We want you to be Rose's godparents as well," Francis finishes, sharing a bright smile with his wife. "If you don't mind-"

"Of course, we don't mind!" Bash tells them. "Hey, we'll be happy to."

"So happy," Kenna adds. "Thank you."

Mary shrugs a little. "It's nothing. Before you came in, we also gave Rose a third name. We named her after you, Kenna."

"Mary, you didn't have to," Kenna says softly.

"We wanted to," Francis tells her.

Mary nods happily. "We've known each other for almost thirty years, my whole life... Some friendships don't even last a decade or two. So we gave her the name that your grandmother, Linda, gave you. _Rachel_."

Kenna's fingers reach for the necklace around her neck but it's absent, her mind remembering that she gave it to Pascal. She was never one for superstitions but she was religious. Her grandmother was still with her after all and so was Diane.

"T-Thank you," Kenna whispers, swallowing her tears down. "We should get going. The traffic will be awful if we don't leave on time."

"Alright. See you guys. We love you," Francis replies, even getting little Rose to wave.

"We'll see you guys soon. Text me if you need anything," Bash tells them before he and Kenna make their way out. As they head outside, Bash turns to his wife. "Are you alright?"

Kenna nods. "Yeah."

"You're crying."

"All I have ever wanted was a family. I couldn't wait to start my own family, where I would be surrounded by my extended family and loved ones," Kenna says, linking her arm with his as they walk to their car. "Reality has just hit me."

Bash kisses her head. "In what way?"

"In the way that even when they're gone or not nearby, they're still there. I can call my mum and dad over the phone, I can look at the stars and talk to Diane and my grandmother..." She stops and turns to him. "Even when we're in different places, I know you're coming home to me."

"I will always come home to you," Bash whispers, cupping her cheeks. "Always."

"And I will always come home to you," she replies, kissing him softly. "Come on let's go home."


	35. Chapter 35

**Here's the last chapter. It's been a ride, a crazy one. I think this is the first story I started. I was in love with Kennash and hated how the show did them wrong then I had this AU idea come out of nowhere and with my team of lovely helpers and supporters, this came into fruition. Up until this point, I had written chapters as if they were the end of the book, but this one is. In this journey, Kenna and Bash have separated, divorced, found their way back to each other, dealt with personal mental health journeys, had a daughter, got remarried and adopted their second son. I really enjoyed this story and ending this means that I have more time for ATEOTB and Eighteen. So I hope you enjoy this story. **

***There won't be a sequel but maybe one day, I'll think about doing one, no matter how short.**

**I have introduced Elisabeth and Margaret Valois in this last chapter. They weren't present somewhat, but as Bash work on his family life and connecting with siblings lost and found, I thought it was fitting to have his younger sisters come for the last chapter to show how much his healing journey has improved his life. **

**The first part is around Summertime, late July or early August. Then it leads to December with the family spending Christmas together.**

**Replies to reviews:**

**BlerBlerBler [chapter 33]: I loved Pascal in the show. It gave Bash and Kenna a lovely little family unit so I thought it was fitting to have them adopt him rather than some OC character. :D**

**CocoRocks [chapter 33]: Thank you for enjoying it! And thanks :D**

** Guest (1) [chapter 34]: I know, I thought it was time. Now with it being a lovely round number of 35, it made sense. Thanks for loving it! I love writing Kenna and Mary's relationship! They're like arguing sisters but in a loving way. Only Kenna would be able to make light of such a daunting experience and get something out of it haha. :D**

****BlerBlerBler [chapter 34]: Something tells me that Auntie Kenna will be telling Rose exactly how she came into the world for years to come. Even at the poor girl's wedding day during speeches haha. Enjoy the last chapter :D****

* * *

"Do we really need to hang that up?" Bash asks his wife, pointing at the new birth certificate on the wall of her new study with the perfect view of their expansive garden.

Kenna nods proudly. "Yes, yes we do," she replies easily. "It's official, we are parents of three wonderful children and we have to show it somehow! With Pascal's new adoption certificate with his new name!"

"Then, why don't you hang Adrien's and Perrine's birth certificates up as well?"

"I will," Kenna says happily. "I just needed to remind myself that this is real."

She shifts the framed paper a bit and steps back, crossing her arms and pursing her lips. She looks at it, a smile gracing her features as she turns to her husband who playfully glares at her.

"You're too mumsy," he says.

"Is that a bad thing?" She asks, shrugging. "Jesus, I forgot to buy drinks and alcohol for the housewarming party!"

"I've already sorted that out," Bash tells her. "As you were going around putting certificates up on walls and throw pillows everywhere."

Kenna playfully rolls her eyes. "Okay, you move a few sofas and beds around and you think that's how interior designing is done?"

"I've never really had the need to interior design," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he looks around. "I guess this is my first proper home that I have a say in what goes where."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't," he says, laughing. "Can I do our room at least?"

Kenna tuts. "Fine," she agrees. "I'll check on the kids and you put that desk up for me, please, mon amour!"

"Oui, mon chéri," he replies, picking up the box.

She heads out of her study and into the spacious kitchen and family room area. She stops in surprise, taking some time to herself to get used to the large interiors. It seems like Paris was a lifetime away, her and Bash's bedroom just a little bigger than their new one now. The kitchen is fairly the same size like in France and Kenna shakes her head, smiling to herself.

"I'm sorry that I ditched you," she tells Mary, taking a seat on the sofa. "Is she feeding well?" She asks, eyeing the children who watch a movie on the new flatscreen TV.

Mary nods, lifting the cover to check Rose. "She is. God, she eats and eats and eats. What is it with our kids being so gluttonous?

"It's definitely from our husbands' side. All of them, obsessed with our breasts for some reason," Kenna replies, making them laugh. "Do you like your new house?"

"I do. Do you like yours, neighbour?"

Kenna giggles. "I do, I really do. I've just put up Pascal's new certificate up. He's no longer Pascal Allais. He's Pascal Laurent Daniel de Poitiers," she says, clapping happily. It's still surreal to her, but she knows it's real.

"So you gave him _all_ of Bash's names? Middle names included?"

Kenna nods, shrugging. "We couldn't really think of anything else that fits. And Adrien and Perrine both have three names as well including their first names so, we named Pascal after Bash. One French name and one name from the Bible. He... Pascal told us he wants to be baptised."

Mary gasps, placing a hand on Kenna's wrist as she quickly glances at the boy. "Does he?"

"He does," Kenna confirms. "We know that his birth parents weren't overly religious and he's been coming to Church with us on Sundays... At first, we didn't let him go to Sunday School, but since he's asked, we should let him right?"

Mary nods, smiling. "That's great. Honestly, it is. You should do that. Have the talk with him and see what he believes in."

"We don't want to force Catholicism down his throat or anything. We've already shocked him by telling him he'll start a private Catholic school in Autumn... I feel like we're pushing him too quickly," Kenna says. "I don't want him to freak out about anything. He'll have to be baptised before they start school."

"From what I've seen, Pascal is a strong boy. He can handle whatever life throws at him and just take things slowly. Don't rush anything, give him time," Mary replies. "You guys have got this."

"Mum?"

Kenna turns to the children. "Yes, Pascal?" Then she freezes and her eyes meet Pascal's who also realises what he's just said.

To him, it seems so natural. She's his mum, she looks like his birth mother in a way although maybe his memories have been altered and he believes that they share similarities. He's always called her 'Kenna' until now and he stopped himself from calling Bash 'Dad' last week. But, everything is official now.

"C-Can we go and play outside now?" Pascal asks, going with it.

Kenna beams. "Yeah, honey. Don't go on the trampoline yet, boys. Your fathers haven't put it up properly."

"Okay!" The kids yell, getting up and heading outside as Anne glares after them.

"You can join them, Annie-Bun," Mary tells her eldest daughter.

Anne scowls, turning to her. "I will play with Perrine instead. Even if she has her gooey everywhere."

"Gooey?" Kenna asks, confused.

"Saliva, spit-up," Mary says, waving her hand. "Anne's a little neat freak now. Don't mind her, she's just jealous and petty about everything since we brought Rose home."

Kenna chuckles. "Annie, do you want to help me choose some paint colours for Perrine Aveline's room?"

Anne nods, getting up from the floor. "Yellow. Everywhere. It's bright and happy!" She says.

Kenna reaches out and runs her fingers through Anne's blonde curls. "You're so precious. And yellow isn't a bad idea at all. Did you help Mummy and Daddy with Rose's?"

"Yeah," Anne says proudly. "We went with baby pink."

"Francis hated it," Mary says. "But what Queen Anne wants-"

"Queen Anne gets," Kenna finishes, laughing.

Her eyes land on the photo above the fireplace and she grins. It is the photo taken the day they took the kids to the zoo and all she sees is happiness. She never would have imagined such a thing a few years ago, but everything's changed for the better.

"That's a beautiful family picture," Mary states. "I want something like that done. A day out with the kids, just natural and happy. We need a new family photo now that Rose's here."

Kenna turns to her. "I hear beaches and zoos are wonderful to capture happy memories."

"I'll bear that in mind," Mary says, smiling softly as her gaze goes to her new baby. "Family is everything..."

...

"Bash," Francis calls his brother, handing him his phone a week later at work. "It's Elisabeth."

Bash raises his eyebrows. "She hasn't called in _years_," he mumbles, taking the phone. "Bonjour, Elisabeth. How's it going?"

_"Bien. It's good to hear from you. I heard from Maman that Francis and Mary had the baby and I just had to call them and well, you,"_ Lissie says. _"So, how have you been, big brother?"_

Bash gives Francis a look and the blonde grins, winking before he leaves Bash's office. Just like every mother out there who gives the phone to their child and tells them to speak to relatives. Not that he doesn't want to speak to his half-sister but they were never close. "Not too bad."

_"Bien, bien. And how is Kenna? I hope she hasn't divorced your arse again,"_ Lissie says lightly.

"No, we're great," Bash tells her. "Really great."

_"Great! And the kids? How many is it again?"_

Bash rolls his eyes, moving a few files around. "Three. We adopted a boy, he's eleven now as of July 26th. Uh, Adrien's now seven and Perrine's now one."

_"Wonderful,"_ Lissie mutters. _"I'm sorry about your mum, by the way. We all know how mum and she were, but at the end of the day... she was nice to us."_

"Thank you," Bash mumbles.

Lissie sniffles. _"I also heard that you have a half-brother as well. How did Louise and Frankie take that?"_

Bash chuckles wryly. "Not too well at the start, but they've warmed up to him. They're even planning trips to New York every Winter because he has this fancy apartment and well, money and they mix well."

Lissie laughs. _"That sounds like your half-sisters alright... I know what I'm about to ask is too much, but I can't tell Mum or Francis just yet."_

"What is it?"

_"I'm getting a divorce, Bash,"_ Lissie confesses.

Bash frowns. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What has it got to do with me though?"

_"I was hoping that I could come and stay in England with you for a bit," _Lissie tells him. _"I can't go back to France with Briony, Maman will do my head in. I can't stay with Francis because he and Mary just had Rose. So... you're my next option."_

"We're not exactly the closest of siblings," Bash tells her, leaning back in his seat.

_"Don't worry about it then-"_

"No, don't... Come," he tells her. "I'll explain it to Kenna and the kids, it's fine."

Lissie sighs in relief. _"I'm sorry for asking. I-I just need some time to get back on my feet."_

Bash bites his lip. "I understand," he whispers. His own wife went through it. "Is there... is there something you need to get off your chest?"

Lissie stays silent, her breathing heard over the phone. _"N-No."_

"Elisabeth," Bash says softly.

_"He hits me,"_ she whispers, a sob escaping her lips. _"I just couldn't cope anymore. I can't let my daughter..."_

Bash stills. "I'm sorry. I-I don't know what to say," he replies, rubbing his head. "Do you want me to get you?"

_"Bash-"_

"I can book a flight to Australia right now-"

_"No, I'll come to you. I've got a mate, he's helping me,"_ she tells him. _"When Papa used to hit Maman, I swore to myself that I would never let a man treat me like that. But I did and... I've hit rock bottom, staring at myself every day in the mirror and questioning what is wrong with me."_

Bash swallows deeply. "Lissie..."

_"I don't even know how it got this bad. We'd argue, really full-on. Over the little things. He'd disappear for days and weeks and... I know everything he'd do. With other women, when he's not with our child or me..."_

"Lissie, stop," Bash begs her softly. "I-I can't hear this."

Lissie sighs. _"Jesus, I'm sorry. I didn't even think... You and Kenna are good now, right? I'm sorry I didn't even come to your wedding. I was dealing with this shit and I couldn't show my face."_

"Because it would have been blue and purple?" Bash asks.

_"Yeah,"_ Lissie admits, deflated. _"Well? You and Kenna?"_

"We're doing wonderful, as I said," Bash snaps before he instantly regrets it. "Sorry. I'm just fed up of the implications every time someone asks if we're doing well. As if I'm going to hurt her again or as if I'm going to cheat on her and hurt my kids... I'm trying my best, I'm seeking every possible help I can to make sure that I treat Kenna how she deserves to be treated. To make sure that my children grow up in a stable, loving home..."

Lissie sighs. _"I never meant to imply anything."_

"I know."

_"I wish Kyle was as willing to change like you are,"_ she tells him proudly. _"Honestly, I used to be so jealous of you and Kenna. I resented her. She had this perfect, glamorous life with you and every time you posted something on social media or turned up for some family gathering, you both looked like something out of a fairytale."_

"But we weren't," Bash admits. "Kenna and I can turn on the charm and act our arses off, Elisabeth. We can pretend and lie and inside, we'd be dying and cursing each other. That... That wasn't a fairytale. That was hell. But deep down, I loved her and I hurt badly when she left me and took our son with her. I didn't know who I was, I couldn't..." He rubs his face. "I couldn't live with myself for fucking everything up. For becoming the version we hated of Dad."

Lissie sniffles, clearing her throat. _"How did she do it?"_

"Do what?"

_"Leave you?"_

"It wasn't hard," Bash whispers. "I gave her an 'out' and she took it."

Lissie scoffs. _"Just like that? You'd let her go? The mother of your child?"_

"Back then, I wasn't well," Bash tells his sister. "You never know how much you love something until it's gone."

_"I doubt Kyle would see things that way,"_ Lissie says scornfully. _"He only ever cared about his damn self. I should have listened to you and Francis and not married him. I guess I only cared about the money."_

Bash shrugs. "Every older brother never wants to see their sister marry some guy beneath them. Some guy who won't know their worth. I regret this, but I was one of those guys so I've more than learnt my lesson."

_"What do I do?"_ Lissie asks, her voice breaking. _"How do I go from here? How do I raise Briony alone?"_

"Have you got my phone number?" Bash asks her, seeing Francis enter his office.

_"No,"_ Lissie replies quietly, almost shamefully.

Bash nods. "Okay, I'll use Francis's phone to send you two numbers. Mine and Kenna's. I have to go but... I'll talk to you this evening. Or Kenna if she isn't busy."

_"Yeah. Thank you, Bash,"_ Lissie says, sighing in relief. _"I'm so sorry as well."_

"Don't worry about it," Bash replies. "Au revoir, Lissie."

_"Adieu,"_ she whispers before the call ends.

Bash hands Francis his phone after sending Lissie the text. "Lissie is coming to stay with us for a while with our niece."

"Oh, why?"

"I don't know," he lies. "We'll find out when she comes. Perhaps a holiday, it is almost August and Briony must be out of school."

Francis nods, sending Bash a smile. "It's almost your housewarming party. Lissie's just in time."

"She is," Bash says, smiling before it disappears after Francis leaves. Sighing, he covers his face.

...

Kenna places her wine glass down and bites her lip, her phone in her hand. It starts to ring and she answers it. "Hey, Elisabeth."

_"Kenna, hey,"_ Lissie says. _"Sorry for calling so late there."_

"It's no problem," Kenna replies. "It's only about nine at night. All kids down and accounted for the night."

Lissie sighs in relief. _"I thought it would be twelve in the morning or something, huh. It's eight in the morning here in Sydney..." _She says, distracted.

"So, Bash said you needed to talk to me?"

_"Yeah,"_ Lissie says, more alert. _"Did he tell you...?"_

Kenna nods. "Uh, yes. He did. I'm so sorry, Lissie. Honestly, I... I have no words. Well, I do-"

_"I get it,"_ Lissie chuckles wryly. _"How have you been?"_

"I've been great. Bash and I are great, the kids are great, the weather's great... Everything... great."

_"Good,"_ Lissie says in earnest. _"What do I do, Kenna?"_

Kenna sighs, taking a sip from her wine. "One day at a time, Lissie. The thing is, with marriage, people become one and forget who they were as independent people. I was too reliant on Bash and when we separated, I didn't know who I was. I didn't recognise myself, I was using alcohol to drown my sorrows away and I hated that. I had a son and I had to focus on him. I got there eventually, his happiness was all that mattered and getting him out of a toxic situation was good. Bash and I needed to find ourselves apart and work out a way to co-parent, but we made shit complicated and well, here we are. I guess we're happier now than we were during our first marriage."

_"Damn,"_ Lissie mutters.

"Right?" Kenna says lightly. "You and Briony are welcome to stay for however long you need. Lissie, it's time to find yourself again and I'm here, Bash is here, your mum, Francis and everyone else, they are here. You don't have to go through this alone because that is one thing I regret."

_"Really?"_

"Yeah," Kenna says. "My parents didn't want our marriage in the first place so we drifted apart. But it turned out that they were right and I was too stubborn to go back and admit my mistakes. But I picked myself back up, focused on Adrien and fixed things with my family. With their help, I was able to seek help and so did Bash and we managed to fix things and try again. Even if there is no hope for you and what's-his-name, you can still be happy. A single parent isn't the worst thing in the world. Look how Bash turned out."

They giggle and Lissie says, _"Thank you. I can't wait to see all of you again, most especially you. I'm sorry if we've never connected in the past."_

"Communication is a two-way street, Lissie," Kenna says, waving it off. "Jesus, Bash has a _lot_ of half-siblings, I'm starting to forget your names!"

Lissie laughs loudly. _"Tell me about it. I used to confuse Charles and Henri when they were little..."_

...

"Is that our goddaughter?" Mary asks, seeing Lola and Stephane enter the house, looking around in awe, with a carseat in Stephane's grip.

Lola looks at them, grinning happily. "Hey, everyone! Kenna, the house is _amazing_."

Kenna giggles. "Thanks! Come on, let's see her!"

Lola playfully rolls her eyes, taking her newborn into the kitchen so the women can swoon over her. "Ladies, meet Bella Juliet Narcisse."

"She is so beautiful," Greer whispers, brushing a finger over her cheek. "I'm sorry I had no time to see you and her! Jesus, she was born in May and she is this big already?"

Lola nods. "She was a big baby," she informs them. "Bigger than John was."

"Really?" Mary asks, surprised. "Rose was eight pounds as well."

"With the moving and everything," Kenna starts. "I forgot you were due."

Lola chuckles. "It's fine! We went up to Scotland. Since you've moved here, Stephane and I are moving to Scotland. Janet-_Mum_ and Dad are so happy."

Greer scowls. "I might as well move here, now."

"We'll still visit each other!" Mary tells the blonde, giving her a side hug.

Greer sighs wistfully. "I guess."

Kenna gives her a bright smile. "Why don't you and Aloysius think about changing your scenery? Get out of the busy city and somewhere quieter for all of those children of yours."

"We'll think about it," Greer replies. "It's not like any hospital won't hire me as a doctor and he needs to go into work, eh? Anyway, how are Lissie and Briony settling in? I heard that she was getting a divorce."

Kenna nods sadly. "It's been crazy for them," she says. "She didn't want to go to France, so Bash and I offered to let them stay."

"That's nice," Mary says. "Honestly, I can't believe it. And their wedding was so beautiful."

Kenna nervously nods. "It was." She gestures for the ladies to take a seat in the family room as she gives Stephane directions to the annexe where the rest of the men are. "I am going to check on Lissie and see if she wants to join us. The kids are all outside so Lola you can see John and I'll be right back."

She heads upstairs and down the left hall to the very last bedroom. She knocks on the door and is invited inside, a smile gracing her lips when she sees Lissie standing in front of a mirror with three choices of dresses.

"I was just coming to ask if you wanted to join us," she tells the blonde.

Lissie smiles. "I guess I shouldn't be so rude. You and Bash have been so kind in letting us stay. The least we can do is attend your housewarming party."

Kenna takes a seat on the bed and crosses her leg over the other elegantly. "I know you feel absolutely shit right now," she starts. "And the last thing you'd want is to pass fake smiles around as people pity you and apologise for your marriage breaking down, but beyond that... we all love you and care for you and we'll be here for you."

Lissie sighs, joining her on the bed. "I would leave in the middle of the night, like around two in the morning. I would wander the streets then go to the beach and scream. I'd ask God why this was happening to me. Like if I had wronged someone in a past life or..." She shrugs. "God, I don't even know. I've wasted my teenage years and most of my twenties with this man. I have his child and... Part of me wants to go back."

"Because he's the only thing you know? He's familiar and you believe that if you keep quiet and keep holding on, things would get better? But they don't," Kenna whispers. "They don't until both of you change and shit happens."

"Why didn't you leave him? I love Bash, despite our estrangement, but it's beyond me even though I'm going through it," Lissie says.

Kenna gives her a shrug. "I would pray that he would fall in love with me and things would change just like that," she says, clicking her fingers. "He did love me. He just didn't know... _how_. Henry... Henry was never a good father to any of you, but-"

"He did have his moments..." Lissie says softly. "I remember there was this holiday to the Caribbean. Bash was fourteen, Francis was eleven, I was ten, Margo was eight, and so on... I was scared to swim and Dad just lifted me up over his head and dunked me in the pool. I came back up in Bash's arms and Francis and the rest were clapping for me as if I'd conquered my long life fear."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Lissie says, sniffling. "That was the last holiday we had before Bash just... fell out of the picture. I never saw him much until my late teens. Dad just wasn't willing to let him be involved in our lives much. Every time he visited Bash, he came back with a foul mood and he'd take it out on Maman."

Kenna frowns. "Did either of you... know what he did-"

"To Bash? No. Before he died, he called me and just confessed really. Said that Francis was ignoring him and Bash wasn't talking to him even if they were in the same place or whatever. He needed to vent and I felt so guilty," Lissie admits. "Bash has only ever been close with Francis. Even with Claude and the younger ones. It was always Margo and me who stayed well clear because of Maman. If I could go back in time, I'd be in that car, off to see him every other weekend as a kid. He'd teach us how to ride horses and ponies and perhaps things would have been a little easier. For all of us, mostly Bash."

Kenna clears her throat. "The yellow one. It's very bright and summery," she says, getting up. She'll need to speak to her husband about this another time. Now, it wasn't the time. "I've got some gold heels if you'd want to borrow them."

"Bash says you're obsessed with Louboutins," Lissie says, wiping her cheeks as she laughs a little.

Kenna smirks. "What can I say? Christian knows me well." She heads to the door. "I'll leave them outside the door. See you in a bit."

"Oh, I asked Margo to come. If you don't mind? I thought I'd surprise Bash and Francis," Lissie states.

"It's fine," Kenna says. "It would be nice to see her. And her husband."

"He's not coming. She didn't want to rub her happy marriage in my face," Lissie replies. "Not that it matters because of you and Bash, and Francis and Mary... Oh well, at least she's being thoughtful and not an airhead."

Kenna chuckles. "Girl," she says. "I'll see you later."

After putting the heels outside the bedroom door, Kenna heads downstairs and sees movement behind the front door. The bell rings and she answers it, sending Matthew, Di-Ann and their children a bright smile.

"Matthew, Di-Ann! Hello!" She says, kissing their cheeks and hugging them. She gives their children a wave. "Bash is at the back with the rest of the guys. The women are having a little cocktail do in the kitchen and the kids are outside so everyone, knock yourselves out!"

She leads them into the house, taking their coats and putting them in the cloakroom before leading Di-Ann and children into the living room-kitchen area as Matthew heads outside.

"Hope you don't mind, we tried booking hotel rooms but they were full so we were wondering if we can stay here instead? We'll only use one room," Di-Ann says to Kenna, waving at Mary and the other women.

"It's no bother. I'll get Bash to set up the temporary beds and the kids can bunk up in a room," Kenna says happily. "We have a lot of food and a lot of drinks so... Let's get properly acquainted, shall we?"

"Let's," Di-Ann says, leading her kids over to Kenna. "These are-"

"Dion and Michaela," Kenna says, hugging them both. "It's amazing to meet you both! I am your aunt through marriage, Auntie Kenna."

Dion nods. "Hi."

"Hey," his sisters replies.

Kenna looks up at her in-law. "Not that talkative are they?" She asks, seeing the kids run off into the garden to meet the other children.

Di-Ann chuckles before smiling at the babies in their mothers' arms. "Oh, dear. I'll get broody all over again."

"Is a third child on the horizon?"

"Matthew's fifty in three years. Sadly not," she tells her. "Who knows?"

Kenna smiles brightly, spotting Lissie enter the room. "Ladies, this is Elisabeth, Bash's paternal half-sister. Lissie, this is-"

"Bash's other brother's wife," Lissie states, shaking the older woman's hand. "It was a surprise hearing about your husband. We all knew that Diane had secrets, but never this huge. The woman was a dark horse. So mysterious and... she never really showed her real side. Poor Bash... My big brother lost his mummy..." She sighs wistfully, shaking her head.

Kenna notes how Lissie leans on the counter and how drunk the woman is. How much did she drink since she last saw her? "Uh, want a cup of coffee, love?"

Lissie giggles. "I'm fine. I'll wait for Margo in the front. Adieu."

"I'll check on her," Greer says, getting up and following after her.

"Let me guess," Di-Ann says. "Dutch courage following a messy divorce?"

Kenna clicks her tongue. "You've got it in one sadly."

"On a better note," Mary starts. "Let's all toast the de Poitiers family and their new home!"

"To Kenna and Bash," Greer says.

"To Kenna and Bash!" The women chorus.

...

"Francis, meet Matthew. Matthew, meet Francis," Bash says.

"I'm getting a sense of déjà vu," Matthew says which makes them chuckle as he shakes Francis's hand. "Got any embarrassing stories to tell about our beloved shared half-brother?"

Francis grins, eyeing Bash. "I've got a few in my head. Once, he put a nappy full of shit-"

"Francis, do you want a beer?" Bash offers him. "And a perhaps a note to _shut up_?"

Francis shields his mouth as he turns to Matthew. "I'll tell you later."

Matthew laughs. "Four children, right?"

"Indeed," Francis replies. "John, James, Anne and Rose."

"How do you remember all of their names?" Matthew asks lightly.

Francis snorts. "I remember easy. It's our good mate over there who you need to ask that question," he says, gesturing to Aloysius who plays FIFA with Stephane, the both of them shouting at the TV. "He has eight kids. Eldest is in her early twenties and youngest is one."

"You men do not shy away from reproducing, eh?"

"Just doing my part to put beautiful and handsome people into the world," Francis replies. "Have you seen my eldest daughter? I swear she could be a model in the future." He pats Bash's chest. "And this guy? Any child of his is just naturally aesthetically pleasing. Our genes were just meant to be shared."

"Don't mind Francis. He's high most of the time," Bash says, receiving a hit. "High on love and whatever else that goes on his head. That and he loves children and once told his wife that they would have ten children by age thirty. He said that when they were thirteen."

Francis gasps. "Don't make me sound crazy! It was Mary who suggested that and if you look, we have four. Only four."

"Who can say? You might be having quintuplets by next January," Matthew joins in.

Francis squeaks. "I have just got used to each child having their own room so Anne doesn't complain and the boys both get their space... Don't wish that on _me_ of all people," he tells them.

They turn to the door when it opens and Bash and Francis are surprised to see Margaret step inside with a child on her hip and a wide smile. She looks around approvingly before giving her brothers a grin.

"Are you just going to stand there or greet your sister and nephew?" She asks.

"Margo?" Francis says, taken back. "You're _different_."

"Jesus, Francis," Margo mutters, flicking her wavy, shoulder-length brunette locks. "It's the baby bump isn't it?"

Bash hits Francis on the chest and goes over to hug her. "Hey. It's been very long."

"It has," Margaret replies, chuckling. "And yes, I may look different because the weather in France is different than the weather in Hawaii, idiots."

"That's where you're living now?" Francis asks, hugging her.

She nods. "Paradise on a volcano. Who could want for more? Quick warning, Lissie has been sent to bed. She's not feeling well, but I, the fun sister, am here to hang out."

"This is the guys' hangout," Stephane says, not even bothering to look at her.

Margo glares at the back of his head. "I can play FIFA. That and all the women are drinking and I can't because I'm knocked up. So if I can't drink, I want to shoot a pixelated ball into a pixelated goal."

Bash raises his hands. "Join us. It's great to see you. Thanks for coming."

Margo smirks. "It's all good. I missed your dumbarse anyway. Oh, can I just say I will never ever figure out how you both married such beautiful, smart women? Like, what the actual hell?"

"It's obviously our charm," Francis tells her, handing her some sparkling water.

"Or they're blind," Margo deadpans, drinking her water. "But it's fine. You're my brothers and I love you. Now, who is this hunk?"

"My other half-brother," Bash quickly says. "Not that you would even because you're happily married."

Margo scowls. "I am, aren't I? And that is wrong on so many levels. I apologise and nice to meet you. I am Margaret but everyone calls me 'Margo'. This is Tobias, his older sister is in the garden. She's Justine. Now we're done with all the introductions, I'm playing the next match."

"Anyone disputing that?" Matthew teases the men.

"No," Bash replies, sending his sister a bright smile. "I really missed you, Margo."

Margo blushes. "I missed you too, Bash. And Francis, of course, but we see that idiot every year." She laughs.

"Hey!"

...

_Success_, Kenna thinks as she gets ready for bed that night. She's put the kids down, made sure that Briony was alright before dealing with a drunk Lissie and settled her new niece and nephew in their room before finding spare pillows for Matthew since he has a bad back and as she later learns that Margo, Tobias and Justine are also staying over.

It's a full house. She's got her kids in their own rooms, Michaela and Justine sharing, as Dion sleeps on the other twin bed in Pascal's room. Not wanting her other niece to see her mother in such a state, she put the three-year-old in the cubby in Perrine's nursery. Sometimes either Bash or Kenna would sleep in the room, just making sure that their little girl was still alive and breathing but their fears had decreased over time.

Yawning, she feels Bash's arms wrap around her waist and she smiles, patting his hands.

"I've never felt so happy to end an event," she says. "And I'm the one creating them."

"It has been a long day, hasn't it?" Bash asks, pressing a kiss on her neck.

She nods. "It has," she mumbles tiredly. "Your sisters were a lovely surprise."

"They were," Bash replies. "And Catherine of all people. Last-minute arrival who demanded all the red wine we had left."

"Be glad she chose Mary and Francis's to stay at," Kenna tells him, turning his arms to kiss him softly. "I am glad we got the builders to soundproof this room."

"Is that right?"

Kenna grins. "Yeah. Is the baby monitor on?"

"It is."

Slowly, she starts undoing his shirt. "Well then, I guess we're finally christening this room."

Bash raises an eyebrow. "With my brother and sisters down the hall?"

"As I said, let's test out this soundproof bedroom, shall we?" Kenna replies cheekily, bringing his lips to hers. "I love you, Bash."

"I love you more, Kenna," he says against her lips, lifting her into his arms and gently placing her onto their bed before kissing her hard. "Now and forever, always."

Kenna smiles softly. "Now and forever, always," she repeats before they kiss again, their clothes sliding off one by one.

...

When Christmastime rolls around, Kenna finishes putting all the presents under the Christmas tree in the informal living room. She's gone all out this year, as it's the first time that a newly baptised Pascal is celebrating Christmas and last year, her other son was grieving the loss of his beloved Meme. Also, it's a Christmas that her daughter can actually acknowledge even though she won't remember.

"Enough presents or do you need to stuff more under there like it's a turkey?" Bash teases her, checking his watch. "It's almost Christmas Eve. Record time."

Kenna beams. "I know right? Are you okay, babe?"

Bash nods, taking a seat. "I am."

Kenna gives him a look, taking a seat beside him and lifting her legs up to curl into his side. "Are you really?"

Bash shrugs. "I don't know. I know that it's the first anniversary since she died, but I'm not... it's not real. It hasn't sunk in."

"Maybe because you've been bulldozing through life since she died," Kenna says. "We've done so much this year. You've gone back to work, we've adopted a new child, we've moved into a new house, we've taken in your sister and her one and a half kids... I still can't believe she's pregnant by the way."

Bash rubs her thigh. "I'll see what I can do," Bash replies. "Maybe set up the annexe for them to have their own privacy. I'll see if I can get a quote next month."

Kenna brings his hand to her eyesight and sighs heavily. "It's officially Christmas Eve."

"Okay, it might have just sunk in," he whispers, looking down. "I-"

He's cut off by the sound of his phone ringing and he picks it from the coffee table before checking the caller ID. It's Catherine calling of all people and Bash wonders if she's called the wrong person.

Still, he answers with a strained, "Hi, Catherine."

_"Hello, Sebastian. I am currently nursing my second glass of Sherry and realised that it's Christmas Eve for you,"_ she says. _"How are you?"_

Bash is surprised, but he doesn't think twice before replying, "Fine."

_"No, you're not."_

"I'm not," he whispers honestly. "But that's how it's going to be. Every Christmas Eve will be the anniversary of her death and it will get easier."

He feels Kenna shift before she gets up and collects a shopping bag. She kisses his cheek and leaves the room, leaving Bash alone with his phonecall with Catherine.

_"It will,"_ Catherine tells him. _"I remember when my own mother passed. One day she was full of life, the next she breathed her last breath and I wasn't even there for her. I was in France, being cheated on, looking after kids and had a full-time job... I don't think I even remember her smile."_

Bash sniffles, wiping his cheeks when tears fall. "Is that how it would be? Not remembering the little things? Every memory distant, every smell vague. If so then how is it going to get easier? Like I'm forgetting her."

_"Diane is impossible to forget, that is for sure,"_ Catherine tells him. _"It will get easier. Maybe it's just my old head, she did die a long time ago now. I should let you go. I bet the children are excited. It's Pascal's first Christmas with you."_

Bash smiles a little. "You remember his name."

_"I do. Give the kids my love,"_ Catherine replies. _"Goodnight, Bash."_

"Goodnight, Catherine."

He hangs up. Getting up, he turns the decoration lights off as well as the tree before he makes his way upstairs, switching the living room lights off as well. He takes his time, passing the photographs he and his wife have plastered everywhere from credenzas to the walls. Some have Diane in them. One is of her and Adrien and Perrine last year when she came to visit.

He looks away and continues up the stairs and down the hall. He makes sure that he doesn't wake the kids up or Lissie. They'll be up early enough later on and he doesn't want to handle grouchy children.

Finally entering his and Kenna's bedroom, he closes the door behind him and sits down in the seating area. He hears the tap run in the bathroom and he looks over thoughtfully.

"We should do something. To mark the first anniversary of my mother's passing," he calls out.

"That's a lovely idea, babe," Kenna's voice replies as the tap stops. "Light a candle? Say a prayer?"

Bash nods. "Something like that," he says.

"How was the chat with Catherine?" Kenna asks, entering the room with her hands peppering her face.

Bash smiles. "Surprisingly tame."

"That's good," she says, coming to sit beside him. "Are you ready to come to bed?"

"I just need a few minutes," Bash replies. "Don't let me keep you, the kids will be wide awake demanding for attention in the morning."

Kenna chuckles softly. "Okay, mon amour," she replies, kissing him and getting up. She gets into their bed and pulls the duvet over her frame. "Can't wait for you to join me."

Bash smiles. "Very soon," he promises her before he soon hears her fast asleep, her snores soft and quiet.

He stands up and goes over to the window, taking a seat on the bench there. Leaning his head on the window, he traces his mother's name on the window and looks up to see the stars shining bright in the sky. It's the countryside, the stars more clear now than they were back in London.

After a while, he gets changed, switches the light off and gets into the bed, pressing a gentle kiss on Kenna's head before he settles down and lays on his back. He can't sleep just yet so he turns on his side and studies Kenna.

He plays with her hair and smiles as she doesn't even acknowledge the disturbance to her perfect locks. She's so goddamn beautiful, he always finds himself questioning how on Earth he managed to keep her after everything. Lissie's situation has definitely made him think twice about things and he knows that Kenna is one of the strongest women he knows.

One of her hands lays over the duvet and he lifts it gently, inspecting her rings. He presses a kiss on her hand and she shifts before sighing happily and falling back asleep without opening her eyes.

He soon realises that he can't get to sleep and he grabs his phone from the nightstand and checks the time. He's been laying in bed for about two hours now, two hours since he and he wife finished preparing for Christmas by stuffing more gifts under the tree and sorting out the family pyjamas for the Christmas morning photoshoot tomorrow.

He sighs and it wakes Kenna up, her hand blinding turning on her lamp. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep," he says quietly, shrugging a little as he sits up.

Kenna also sits up. "Want to talk?"

"No, go back to bed-"

"If you're awake, I'm awake as well," she says, yawning and resting her head on his shoulder. "So, what should we talk about?"

Bash smiles. "You really don't need to. I can go downstairs and watch some TV or even hit the treadmill in the back."

"Okay, how about we go for a walk? Not outside the gates, just in the fields out back," she suggests, getting out of bed. "I'll get some torches, hopefully, we won't step on some horse shit but I trust you and the boys to clean up after your horses."

Bash nods. "Okay."

When they get ready, they head out the backdoors and slide it closed, leaving it open a little. Kenna offers her hand to Bash and he takes it, turning his flashlight on as they start to walk down the patio onto the grass.

"Are you okay?" She asks him. "I know I'm asking too much but we need to do that."

"I know," he replies. "I am. Okay, I mean. I will be better as the years pass I guess. For now, I'm fine."

Kenna nods happily. "Good."

They head through the barrier that separates the garden from the rest of their lands. The vast lands are mostly used for the horses when they're not in the stables and Kenna has an idea come into her mind.

"We should get some chickens," she says. "Produce our own eggs. Maybe some cows for milk..."

Bash grins. "You want us to be farmers? We're city folk, babe."

"I know," she says coyly. "But it would save us a trip down to the supermarket."

"We can think about it. We're already introducing two puppies into the family tomorrow, now we want a full-on farm?"

Kenna laughs. "We'll wait until the kids are older. For now, their chores can be to look after their horses, the puppies, clean up their bedrooms and do the dishes."

"Experts at parenting, we are," her husband says lightly.

Kenna blushes a little, feeling the cold nip at her cheeks as they continue walking. "Y-You know that Valentine's after we split?"

"Yeah..." Bash trails off. "What about it?"

Kenna sighs. "It's embarrassing, really."

"What is?"

Kenna stops to face him. "I tried to kiss Francis."

"Oh."

"Yeah," she whispers. "He moved before anything happened but I was so angry with myself for trying it on with him. I guess I was jealous of what he and Mary had that you and I couldn't ever make. A proper family, a happy family."

Bash looks away, his eyes landing on the light that his torch makes on the ground. "I see."

"Are you angry with me?"

"No."

"Babe-"

"I don't exactly have a right to be, do I?" Bash asks her. "We had words that day, he wasn't the happiest brother in the world and he respected you by not telling me that. It doesn't hurt me or anything, I am glad you told me. I deserved it, even if nothing happened."

Kenna frowns. "I don't ever want us using our friends or family against each other. I was childish about the whole thing and I apologise."

"I'm sorry too," Bash replies, kissing her. "I wish things were different."

Kenna shakes her head. "If they were, would we have ever found each other again?"

"Well, we wouldn't even be separated in the first place, mon chéri," he tells her. "We'd be happy. Four kids and all."

Kenna laughs. "Four?"

"Yeah, because we wouldn't have lost that baby," Bash says softly, brushing her hair from her eyes. "That was my fault. If I'd been a better man, husband, father, you wouldn't have had to go through that alone."

Kenna blinks away her tears. They've gone through this many times. "Bash, it's the past. And I wasn't alone, I had Diane."

"I miss her."

"Me too," Kenna whispers, hugging him tightly. "I'm here, just... if you need to cry or vent or reminisce, I'm here for you."

Bash nods against her cheek and presses a kiss on his before he closes his eyes. "Can we stay here for a bit?"

"You really need this hug, eh?"

He chuckles. "I do. I really do."

...

Christmas Day is easier, everyone's mood in high spirits. Kenna is surprised by the sight of Lissie up with all the children in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. She even has Perrine in her highchair and the boys and Briony waiting patiently at their kids' table. All kids accounted for at seven in the morning.

"Oh, Lissie..." Kenna says, entering the kitchen. "You really didn't have to."

Lissie beams. "It's fine. Bri came and found me then I heard Little Miss Perrine singing to herself so I got the boys as well and started to make breakfast for everyone. I guess we all needed a little breakfast before we started our Christmas Day."

Kenna grins in reply. "Uh, Bash and I are going to Church at nine with the kids. Do you want to come?"

"Definitely," Lissie says, rubbing her bump, winded. "Can you take over? My bladder's a mess."

"Six months pregnant always messes up your bladder. It's like your child wants to destroy your urinary system," Kenna replies, continuing making the pancakes.

Lissie laughs. "They really do! Hey, thank you so much for letting me stay on for Christmas. I know that we're a bother and we'll be out of your hair very soon."

"It's no worry," Kenna replies.

"I'm sure you and Bash want to spend time with your kids alone. Once the settlement comes through, I will buy that house that I've had my eye on in France."

Kenna turns to her in surprise. "You're going home to France?" But they had plans for the annexe.

"It's time. That or Maman will take us in. Either way, I want Briony to know her French side as well," Elisabeth explains before excusing herself for the loo.

Kenna turns back to the pancake and flips it, giving her daughter a bright smile as the baby stuffs her fist into her mouth, seemingly hungry. "Right, who wants a dinosaur-shaped pancake?" She asks the kids.

"I do!" Adrien says. "Can you also make a car?"

Kenna chuckles. "I can, my sweet. And you, honey? What do you want Pascal?"

"A dolphin, Mama!" Pascal says.

"Dolphin it is," she replies, turning to her niece. "And you, sweetie?"

Briony shrugs. "I don't know. My mummy knows what I like."

"I will do a flower," Kenna tells her.

By the tenth pancake, she sees Bash enter the room with two boxes full of holes in each arm. He calls the children over to the living area and Kenna turns the stove off, getting Perrine from her high chair as Lissie joins them curiously.

"What have we got here?" The blonde asks, feeling her daughter nervously hide behind her nightie skirt.

Bash grins, giving the girl a wink before turning to his sons. "One thing we've wanted since forever," he says, pointing at Adrien.

"A dog?"

"How do you know?"

"Because it has holes!" Pascal explains for his brother. "We are very clever, Dad."

Bash sends his wife a look and she giggles. "Fair enough, gentlemen. Choose a box. Both of you."

Thankfully, they both go for different boxes and open them up, gasping and squealing when the puppies jump out and attack them with licks, their tails wagging.

"You got us Huskies?!" Pascal cries out, cuddling his female puppy.

"Alaskan Marmalutes," Bash corrects him. "But yes, they do have some Husky genes. They are brother and sister."

Kenna raises her eyebrows. "Were they expensive?" She asks. She knew about the dogs, just not the breeds or how he came across them.

"Not at all," Bash says. "I got them at the shelter. Poor things were abandoned by their parents' owner in a landfill site. They're about five weeks old and very playful and happy. Good with children _and_ babies."

Perrine sees them and starts trying to leap out of her mother's arms to try and get in on the fun. It makes the adults laugh and Kenna places her daughter on the ground who quickly crawls to Pascal and the puppy he holds.

"Any names?" Lissie asks the boys, gently pushing her daughter towards them.

Adrien lifts his puppy to his line of sight. "Loki!"

"Are you sure?" Kenna asks, amused. "After your favourite supervillain?"

"Thanos is my favourite supervillain but Loki is the strongest," Adrien explains.

Bash is about to dispute that but he smirks. "Loki it is. And you, Pascal?"

"Skye," Pascal says quietly. "It was my mother's name meaning - she was called Azure."

Kenna smiles. "Perfect. Loki and Skye. Well, you both better start taking care of them before I get breakfast on the plates."

The boys get up and head outside to the kennels with Bash and Briony as Lissie lifts Perrine into her arms before she can escape as well. She looks over at Kenna and sees that she's teary-eyed.

"Are you okay?" Lissie asks her.

Kenna nods. "I sometimes forget that he's not entirely ours. That his mother will always be a huge part of his life."

"You are his mother now, forever," Lissie assures her.

"I know," Kenna replies, sighing. "But he never talks about his dad, the only dad he knows and calls is Bash. Sometimes he calls me by my name and it's like we're back to square one again."

Lissie gives her an assuring smile. "He's getting used to you. Wasn't his father an arsehole anyway? His mother seemed to be the only one who cared about him, he's bound to still have an attachment to her no matter what. You're going to have to accept that but you are his mother, legally and in every other way. Don't forget that."

Kenna nods, a smile on her face. "I won't."

Just before bed, Kenna has the boys light up candles for Diane as Bash watches, Perrine asleep on his chest. She gives their sons tight hugs before she says a prayer, all of them listening intently.

When she's done, she stands back and lets Bash say a few words.

"It's the first Christmas without Meme Diane, but it's also the first Christmas with Pascal," he starts, ruffling Pascal's hair. "A lot has happened to our family this year, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," the boys say.

"Mostly good, some bad... But we started the year on a low note and we're ending it having gained new family and friends..." Bash says.

...

_Seven Years Ago_

Kenna opened the door to her new home. It would be interesting, now living in France. She was excited for what was to come and she happily greeted the household staff as Bash introduced them to her. The staff seemed relatively fine with her, but she knew she'd have to charm them just as she'd have to charm her new mother-in-law.

She closed the door behind her and sighed. It was the end of her first week living in France and all she wanted to do was go home to London or even Scotland. Everything was different. She knew the language, could understand it and reply fluently but she felt lonely.

Francis and Mary were in England with John and James and the only one she had here was Bash.

Biting a lip, she placed a hand on her stomach and hoped that their honeymoon had done wonders to their new marriage. She wanted a child, someone else to know and have who could support her here.

"Kenna, is that you?"

Kenna looked up and entered the kitchen, a smile gracing her features when she saw her husband cooking dinner. It made her laugh, the sight of pots and pans everywhere as well as food.

"Need help?"

"I've got it," he said. "You go and sit down, I'll be done in a minute."

Kenna raised her eyebrows. "What's the occasion?"

Bash shrugged. "There's none. I just thought you'd like to celebrate your seventh day as a French citizen."

Kenna blushed furiously. "You remembered."

"Of course, I did," he replied, pecking her cheek quickly. "Félicitations, ma femme chérie."

Kenna chuckled. "Merci beaucoup, mon merveilleux mari," she replied happily.

"I was thinking... After dinner, we could celebrate with a bottle of champagne and some vegan chocolate, dark of course and..."

"And?" Kenna asked, eyebrows raised.

"We could do it under the stars. They're especially bright tonight," he told her, sending her a quick, cheeky wink.

Kenna's eyes watered. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, continuing to cook.

"Why all the effort, babe?" She asked. "It's only been a week. Not a month or a year..."

Bash turned to her, his green eyes meeting her browns. "It's still special. You moved to France for _me_. The least I can do is acknowledge every milestone."

"Turn the stove off."

"What?"

"Just do it," she demanded.

When he did, she launched into his arms, her lips meeting his hungrily as she started to take his apron off. He chuckled against her lips, pressing his against hers, his hands also working on her jacket.

"Are we seriously going to make love in the kitchen?" He asked. "Where I'm cooking?"

She nodded. "We are, now shh," she replied. "The stars and dinner can wait."

And she didn't realise that her wish had come true that night.

...

_Present Day_

"I can't wait to see what the new year has in store for us," he finishes, kissing his sons' heads. "I love you all very much."

Kenna smiles, kissing his lips. "I love you too," she whispers before taking Perrine from him and taking her upstairs. "Goodnight, boys."

"Goodnight, Mama."

Making sure that his wife is upstairs, Bash turns to the boys. "So, Mama's birthday is next month. We have to make it the best birthday ever. It's her thirtieth."

Adrien grins. "I know what we can do!"

"What?"

"Mama loves shoes. We can take her shopping," Adrien says, making his father laugh.

"I think Mama has enough shoes for now," he tells him. "How about we build something for her? Like a jewellery box?"

Pascal nods. "Yeah! She always has her necklaces and rings on her work table."

Bash nods in agreement. "But I was thinking that it could also include one ring in particular..."

"What ring?" Pascal asks.

Bash slips his hand into his pyjama pocket and retrieves a ring box. "I want to marry Mama again. Well, not like that. It's called a vow renewal. We got married over a year ago, I'd like to just reaffirm things next year."

"That's... not a bad idea, Papa," Adrien tells him. "Mama will love it."

"You think?"

Pascal nods, sharing a grin with his brother. "Go and propose to her now!"

"It's not a proposal," Bash says, chuckling. "But, fine. Want to watch before we tuck you into bed?"

"Yes, please!" The boys say.

Upstairs, Bash leaves the door open a crack so the boys can peek through. He makes sure to stand in their line of sight and asks Kenna to come to him for a quick kiss.

"Did Perrine go down alright?" He asks, pecking his lips.

"She did," Kenna replies, kissing him. "You look nervous. Are you okay?"

Bash nods. "I'm more than okay," he says, taking the ring box out of his pocket, opening it and getting down on one knee. "I didn't propose, so I'm doing it now."

Kenna gasps. "Bash?"

"I know, we're already married. I was hoping that you'd want to do a vow renewal instead," he says. "We've been through a lot, I think this is exactly what we need. A chance to do things properly."

Kenna stares at the ring and then into his eyes in shock. "Uh..."

"Are... are you good there?"

Kenna moves her mouth but no words come out. Her heart is loud in her ears and she starts giggling. "Jesus Christ..."

"Kenna?"

"Yes, Bash. Yeah, I'll love a vow renewal," she tells him, getting down on her knees to kiss him and take the ring. She slips it on her right ring finger and waves her hand in his face. "It's so sparkly!"

Bash chuckles, kissing her forehead. "You and your love for pretty things and sparkly jewels."

Kenna blushes, admiring her new ring. "How much did it cost?"

"You don't need to know that."

"Sebastian..."

"We could get a car for the same price," he admits, wincing when she hits him.

Kenna shakes her head, laughing. "My new rings already cost a lot. You need to stop spending all this money on me!"

"Why? You're my wife," Bash states.

"And so?"

"Boys, come in now," Bash says, laughing at his wife's response. "She said 'yes'."

The boys run in and attack their parents with hugs, Kenna showing off her new sparkler to their sons.

"Did you help Papa?" She asks fondly.

"We did," Adrien says. "And the renewal will be on your birthday so don't say anything if we haven't got you a present."

Kenna gasps. "Cheeky!" She says, smacking her husband's chest before kissing him. "But thank you."

Bash grins, pulling Pascal to sit on his lap. "What can I say? I love my wife very much."

Kenna smiles softly. "I love my husband very much in return."

The four of them and Perrine eventually end up in Kenna and Bash's bed, a Christmas movie long since finished as Kenna runs her fingers through her sleeping daughter's locks. She looks over at Bash and sees him fast asleep with the boys' heads on his chest and she smiles, helping them by pulling the duvet up a bit.

She turns back to the blackened TV and wonders if she ever saw her life turning out this way that date she got those divorce papers. She never thought that she will sign them and divorce Bash, fully. A part of her hoping he'd come to his senses and ask her and Adrien to return home.

But he didn't ask for them to return home, at least not to her face, he didn't. They got divorced, had explosive sex, got pregnant again, got together, broke up, got together again, she got ill, they got remarried and now... now, this.

A loving, stable home. Three kids, a hard-working husband, a great job and a start-up business in the near future and a healthy mental and physical health.

She looks at her husband again and whispers, "I love you so much, Sebastian."

She closes her eyes and smiles when he replies with, "I love you too, Mckenna."

* * *

**The End. I won't bother with any sappy stuff, I'm already emotional as it is.**


	36. There's Someone Downstairs

**Just randomly inspired on-shots in timeline order :) Might think about flashback chapters, we'll see.**

* * *

It's three in the morning when Kenna wakes up to the sound of smashing downstairs. She checks Bash who's still asleep and frowns, getting out of bed to check on the kids.

She checks in on Perrine first, the baby fast asleep in her cot as the nightlight still shuffles the shapes of stars around on the ceiling. She closes the door quietly behind her and heads to Adrien's room.

He's all over his bed, the duvet half on, half off as he snores. His mouth is wide open and Kenna smiles a little before closing the door behind her. Then finally, she heads to Pascal's room. He too is fast asleep when she opens his door and he's tucked in neatly, unlike his little brother.

The second smash jolts him awake and Kenna looks behind her with eyes wide.

"Mum?" Pascal croaks out, shielding his eyes from the landing light they always have turned on just in case.

"Go back to sleep, baby and stay in your room," Kenna says softly, not looking at him as she leaves and closes the door behind her.

She heads back to her bedroom where Bash is awake and confused.

"Were you downstairs?" He asks, getting out of their bed.

Kenna stops him. "Someone's downstairs," she whispers fearfully. "I thought it was one of the boys, but it isn't-"

"I've got this," Bash cuts her off, pulling her so she sits on the bed and he's standing up now.

"Bash-"

"Stay here," he tells her gently before thinking otherwise. "Lock the doors."

Kenna heads to their dresser and grabs the set of keys for the bedrooms. It's a trust thing in their home, no locked doors policy so they keep the keys. This time, she follows Bash out of their bedroom, her husband equipped with one of the bedside table lamps and his phone.

As he takes his first step downstairs, she goes by and quietly but surely locks each of their children's bedroom doors before going back to the master bedroom and locking the door behind her.

She grabs her phone and presses it against her chest with one hand as she rests her ear on the door. She shakily dials for Francis and curses when he doesn't answer. She tries Mary instead.

As Bash reaches the final step, he checks the foyer and formal living room. Swallowing hard, he heads into the dining room and finds it empty. Taking a deep breath in and releasing it, he moves onto the kitchen/family room area. He isn't frightened, he's dealt with worse, having almost been mugged at times back in France on the street in broad daylight.

But the idea of someone in his home where his children sleep unsettles him. In France, they had security systems and security guards all over the place. In England, they only have the system and he wonders how this person didn't trigger it.

When he steps into the kitchen, he finds the curtains blowing around and backdoors wide open, glass everywhere on the floor. He moves further, his steps silent and controlled from his days photographing and enjoying the beauty of wildlife as a boy.

He places the lamp down when he sees a blackened figure rummaging through the dresser by the fireplace where some items of expense are. Mostly gifts they've received that they don't have a need for or do not match the furnishings of the house.

Bash collects a knife from the block and rounds the counter island to stand behind the man.

"If you value your life, you'll put everything you've taken down, and leave now," he says to the masked man.

The man raises his hands and lets go of his duffel bag, slowly turning to face Bash who keeps the knife trained on him.

Bash uses his other hand to dial '999' without even looking, his eyes fixed on the man who broke into his home. He answers the caller and she tells him that the police are on their way.

"You said you'll let me leave," the man says quietly.

"Have to be a good neighbour and make sure you don't do this again," Bash replies.

The man moves a step to the side and Bash gives him a warning look as he follows the man's movements with the knife.

"I wouldn't leave if I were you," he says, his heart beating loudly in his ears but he won't show the man anything.

But the man makes a run for it, snatching an iPad from the table and running through the opened doors. Bash curses and follows after, tackling the man onto the grass as they both roll down the hilly area of the garden, near the gates to the rest of their lands.

Bash grunts when he kicks him in the chest and he retaliates by tightening his grip on him, pressing the man's frame into the ground with a hand to the man's cheek. Bash thanks his father for forcing him to keep at Rugby during his secondary school years.

He notices that the knife is out of his grip and he moves to retrieve it again. The burglar gets there first, swiping Bash's defensive arm before Bash grips that hand and squeezes his fingers, causing the knife to drop.

But the burglar retrieves it from his chest and takes a jab at Bash's own before Bash knocks it out of his hand and uses his knee to press down against the man's windpipe.

He could feel the warmth of blood soaking his nightshirt and he curses but then sighs in relief when it's only a superficial wound and not deep at all. But the scar's long and Bash has had a lifetime of scars. What's another to the list?

"Stop... resisting!" He tells the man who struggles under Bash's pinning.

Bash feels his strength start to leave him, the adrenaline starting to fade but he keeps the man down on the ground. No one was going to invade his home as he, his wife and children slept. No one was going to take away their security and haven from their home.

"Bash!"

Bash is relieved when he hears Francis's voice and soon the blonde is helping him pin the man down. He sends his brother a grateful smile before he watches his brother's blue eyes widen at the sight of blood.

"I'm fine," he says breathlessly. "Not deep at all."

"Kenna called. She said she heard movement outside and saw you outside-"

"The police are coming," Bash quickly says. "They said they were ten minutes out, I don't know."

Now overcome with two people, the man gives up struggling and starts hurling abuse at them, citing they've ruined his life.

Bash rolls his eyes and resists the urge to punch the man but instead says, "Says the man who broke into someone else's home."

It's another six minutes of abuse when the police finally arrive and cart the man off into custody. Bash and Francis answer their questions with Kenna before one officer suggests that he should go to the hospital.

Bash obviously protests against it but Francis says, "I'll take him there myself."

"You shouldn't have confronted him," the police officer states, putting his notebook away.

"What if he came upstairs and hurt one of my kids or my wife?" Bash asks him. "It was better that he stay confined downstairs, away from them."

The officer nods approvingly, but his eyes still show slight discontent at Bash's bravery. "You ought to get your security system upgraded or use another company. I've been told that it was easy to deactivate."

"We'll get that checked out. Thanks," Kenna replies, running her hands through her hair as she turns and finds Pascal and Adrien standing by the entrance of the kitchen. "Chéris, what are you doing downstairs?"

She goes up to them, kneeling to check them. Not that she needs to as their doors were locked and the situation was dissolved downstairs, but it calms her worries and she presses kisses onto their heads.

"Maman, there's too much noise, we can't sleep," Adrien whines. "Why are the police here?"

Bash comes over, lifting Adrien into his arms and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "A bad man wanted to steal our things but they stopped him." He's relieved that he's changed into a clean shirt, handing the bloodied and ripped one in for evidence. But his hands are stained with blood and Adrien's eyes widen. "It's nothing. I put my hands in the red paint in the garage because silly Papa tripped over it."

Pascal isn't stupid but asks, "Why were you painting this late, Papa?"

His parents chuckle, refusing to answer as they send meek smiles to the officer who winks at the boys in reply.

"Come on, time to follow Uncle Francis back to his. You can bunk up with John and James," Bash tells them, handing Adrien over to Francis. "Bonsoir mes chéris."

Adrien grins at the thought of spending the night with his cousins. He snuggles into Francis's chest. "Bonne nuit, Papa."

His mother giggles and she leads Pascal upstairs, her hands on his shoulders. "Come and carry your sister for me, lovely," she says, pressing a quick kiss on top of his head as they head upstairs.

...

By late morning, the doors are replaced with stronger and better ones and the security system is changed, up and running once again. Bash sighs heavily once he sees the workers out and he turns to Kenna who nurses a glass of red wine.

"It's too early, babe," he says, taking a sip from it anyway as he winces.

"After the morning we've had?" She asks, rubbing her face. "Babe, go to the hospital. You're in obvious discomfort."

He sighs. "I might have broken a rib - he kneed me hard."

Kenna gives him an incredulous look. "Well, I'll drive you there right now-"

"After all of that?" He asks, pointing at her wine glass. "I'd probably get more than a broken rib." He downs the rest of her wine and watches her refill it for herself. "I'm fine, honestly. Just a little winded-"

"With two fucking cuts," Kenna cuts him off. "I know I said that your scars turned me on, but that didn't mean you should get one every chance you get!"

He laughs, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Okay, I'll go to the hospital now and not get seen until this night. We do love an efficient waiting time."

"Either way, I want you to be better," Kenna tells him, kissing him as her eyes water. "Last night was scary. Shit, Bash. You could have got yourself killed."

"It was either me or the kids or you," he tells her. "I couldn't just let him get away with it."

Kenna rolls her eyes. "Things are just that. Things. They may hold meaning but that doesn't mean we should make our kids fatherless over them!"

"I didn't care about the stuff," Bash replies. "I cared about protecting you and our children. I cared about justice. He could have the things, they're nothing to me but I wasn't going to let him think that our home was free rein. That he could come and go as he pleased as if it was a free store. He was in our home and he had to pay for that."

Kenna nods, moving so she can kiss him hard. "Don't ever do that again to me, okay?"

Bash nods. "Okay," he says. "I'm sorry."

She lets out a sob. "At least it's a Saturday, otherwise the kids would be screaming to not go to school."

Bash chuckles. "Hmm, yeah."

"I love you."

Bash kisses her softly. "I love you too, Kenna," he replies.


End file.
